#Mitch is like wtf are you doing here and stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cryptidofthekeys · 1 year

Note

Friendo Chaaaaaaaase

Do you have a favourite piece of LOOOOOOORE for your OCs that you're itching to sharing with somebody?

<3 - Mitch

*STARING AT YOU INTENSELY*

Y E S- I mean, ahem, yes- yes I do- I am totally normal about my OCs and sonas and things- mhm,, anyways-

Uh it's hard for me to talk about one without hearing like a specific name involved (I have a LOT of OCs/Sonas Friendo Mitch gfjdkdfks)

But I can try to for this post- And ya know since Spooky Month has literally just latched onto me and wont let me go no matter where I try- I'll talk about CC, I WAS going to talk about Alan too but this post will already be too long but if ya want to really hear about Alan too u or someone can send an ask)

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(A keep reading bc this is going to be a long one, Friendo Mitch so prepare yourself!!! You and others betta prepare!!! Also edit: I realized you said Favorite piece of lore gjkfddkfjsd I apologize in advance for this clusterfuck of a post y'all are about to see)

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ALSO ALSO TWs: Mentions of Kidnapping, Drugging, Murder/Animal Murder, and Cannibalism (the lads WILL be the lads)

CC of course for starters because he is well, hes not the OG (I think a lot of people if they pay attention to my content would think CC's the og spooky month oc/sona of mine but nope, the FIRST SM Character I made was a pathetic wet cat of a man named Frederick but he has no lore, thats the point- anyways)

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CC is the one I use for selfshipping purposes most of the time,, hes- okay well hes oblivious to the danger HE could be in/has been in, he's a dumb luck dude who has survived by that ALONE, I feel kinda bad bc he has no like,, hes not related to anything canon in the spookyverse,, like hes got no part to play in the canon storyline in the long run-

So keep in mind this is all PURELY me, my canon gfhjdkdjfs

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The first one CC met of the bunch of stinky bastards was Dexter, unlike in canon- Dexter was found by CC in the dumpster, like he literally took a look at this perfectly in good condition and cute doll and said ...Aww, your cute- you're coming home with me! (Dumb idiot didn't even see the box had been stabbed with a knife so many times)

So he brought Dex home, got him cleaned up n stuff, completely unaware Dexter is sentient and ya know,, alive,, and he just goes about his night completely fucking oblivious to the doll trying to kill him (Btw, CC has three dogs, Cash, Winnie The Pooch, and Tootsie Roll)

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Dex when he couldn't get to CC ...Well, he is kinda,, not the greatest for animals but the moment CC saw this, he fucking slammed that tiny bitch against the wall like "OH H E L L NO, NOT M Y BABIES..." Instead of like ya know being normal and trying to throw Dex out, he tells Dexter to go let off some fucking steam and then come back when hes done so they can talk

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Dex is shocked and completely dumbfounded that CC tells him to come b a c k but because Dexter is genuinely a lil curious even tho he denied it, he does so- and comes back and CC lays down the law for Dexter, that if hes gonna be staying here, his dogs are OFF limits, you cant hurt his sons

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Dexter is completely at a loss and goes basically like WTF DO YOU MEAN IF IM GOING TO STAY HERE, WHY ARENT YOU KICKING ME OUT? WHY DONT YOU LIKE HATE ME,, OR FEAR ME OR SOMETHING- (oh btw I forgot to mention CC had called Dex a cute doll, cute, adorable, etc before this incident took place,, which is a big thing bc in canon peeps usually call him an ugly doll which ...he is but i love him)

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CC just shrugs at him and tells him that he likes him, he thinks hes kinda cute, he seems like good company when hes not angry n such and Dex just goes . . . . . . Alright, fine, deal- fhjgdkdgjfs and that's how CC acquires husband number u n o (I do have an AU where CC dates Dexter when hes not possessing that Happy Fella Doll, literally nothing special its just an AU where Dex is alive)

Dexter also felt guilty for how they first met for the longest time, apologizing and making it up to CC in the long run, hell even now he can get a little scared sometimes that he'll wind up losing control (even tho Bob and or Frank have both said they'll fucking punt him if he tries ...CC didn't approve of that...)

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CC has made Dexter his old exterminating outfit as well, he seen ADs and pictures of what Dex looked like before the doll possession (he has found that bit out,, I forgot gfhfjkdfgds he found that bit out and feels terrible for Dexter, the way he went and now that hes stuck in a body he'd rather not have)

So CC decided to sew up a lil present for Dexter, he made the old exterminating outfit and even his fucking bag to the best of his ability, when he showed Dexter that surprise, he literally fucking cried and hugged CC so much after that

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Next up, CC met Frank in quite possibly the dumbest way possible,, CC loves to stroll at night alone and he saw an ice cream truck in the distance, he got excited in hopes he'd get some late night sweets, and he knocked on the window ...When nobody answered he got curious, wondering if this was abandoned orrr not

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It's not... He goes inside only to discover Frank, literally... Well doing his stuff, the kidnapping thing- the druggin bit- ya know,, EITHER WAY- CC saw this, Frank looked back at him (them silly lil fnaf lookin ass eyes just wide as could be) CC was standing there before literally just blinking and being like ...wow,, your hot, and tall, and beefy anyways can I get some ice cream big guy???

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Frank deadpans at CC (HE SAYS THAT BTW, OUT LOUD, NO FILTER) and just literally blinks before grinning "Hehe... Sure..." CC's encounter with Frank was the most fucking tame one out of the bunch, Frank did question if CC was going to tell anyone bout this but CC just shook his head 'nah man, idc lol oop' and then Frank gave him a fucking ice cream, free of charge

...NOT- NOTHINGS IN IT BTW DONT WORRY GHJFKJGFHDFKS its legit just actual ice cream

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CC then wanders off after that but Frank p much comes back to chill and hang with CC ...He does have some major beef with Dexter when he sees him at first tho like ...YOU, YOUR THE ONE THAT BIT ME, YEAH AND YOUR THE ONE THAT PUNCHED ME (before they became buddies with one another, when CC was not around, they'd fuckin fight,, have a full on smackdown and then when CC was around they'd act like angels)

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After awhile of hanging out, I don't have specifics on how it happened actually, but there's husband number 2 for CC- and then finally,, the one you'll be a lil familiar with Friendo Mitch!! Its Bob time!!

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Sooo CC and the two lads, Frank n Dex went to Boys n Grills bc they h u n g y, Frank drove em of course in his van,, they got inside, immediately noticed CC has a fucking crush on the big guy and just INSTANTLY tease him about it (Btw if I haven't made it crystal clear, CC is Polyamorous)

CC gets a lil shy bc the boys are fucking teasing him over this and then they order food, CC orders just fries bc he cant eat burgers or his tummy hurty, Dexter doesn't eat bc well, hes a doll now- and Frank gets a burger

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After they ate, the two literally fucking let CC work his magic,, just being like you got this lil man,, before they just fucking left (...JUST BACK TO THE VAN HJGFKDJDGF T-THEY DIDNT LEAVE HIM A T BOYS AND GRILLS) and then CC was alone with Bob.

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Bob had been noticing CC was shy with him this entire time,, he had noticed it from the start and well all I'll say is the fucker didnt help matters- but also he thought CC was nervous about him which is why he decided to try scarin CC with some of his cannibal facts but CC is again a fucking dumbass

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He INSTANTLY lights up and takes out a notepad and goes "Tell me more!" he's interested in the facts bc well hes a horror writer and Bob is giving him some good pointers for that topic ...Bob actually gets a lil happy someone enjoys his facts for once but also weirded out bc wtf ur supposed to be scared? ...He tells him facts for a bit before CC says he has to go, that it was nice meeting him!

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Later that night... Bob in his true fashion had broken into CC's home bc I mean, if I haven't established it also yet,, I have picked the worst three to latch onto, they aren't good (...well to CC they are, I need to clarify btw, they are NOT mean or abusive or some weird shit to CC, they are genuinely loving, caring partners to him BUT!!! CC is not going to try and change them either, he loves them just for them, he's kinda,, mm I wanna say CC is morally grey if thats the right term to use,, bc he wont necessarily do anything bad ..Unless you hurt his dogs or husbands... but usually he's morally grey)

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ANYWAYS- Dexter heard it but he just thought it was one of CC's dogs messing around, bc he also heard some barking from the dogs, he knew Cash sometimes gets late night zoomies, but a few mins after CC gets up bc sometimes he cant sleep and just decides fuck it, imma head out-

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so CC heads into the kitchen to get himself some water and then encounters a big ol devil fella, breathing heavily and standing there in the kitchen, turning to face him, before Bob can even say a fact, CC waves with a polite smile "Oh hey Bob, what's up?" The man fucking looks shocked "...How'd ya know it was me?!"

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CC woulda chuckled at that and been like "The eyes, the smile, the heavy breathing" Bob gets a bit angry bc like ok how dare you not be fuckin scared of me I BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSE, I CAN LITERALLY COOK YOU IN YOUR OWN KITCHEN-

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CC isn't scared, he just says Bob is hot and then goes past him, giving him a pat on the cheek to get something to drink from the fridge, Bob is just,, steaming over there,, like wtf is wrong with this guy,, he has no idea he could be in literal danger rn- CC is just treating him so friendly, kindly, either way- CC offers Bob some candy by the end of this

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Bob just sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before just taking the candy bowl in its entirety and just munching down with a grin- hes sitting at the table with CC whose drinking some milk while Dexter gets up and Frank does, they see CC sitting here with the fucking Devil Butcher himself

and they just scream "CC,, THATS THE GODDAMN CANNIBAL FROM THE NEWS, WTH ARE YOU DOING?" CC just shakes his head "It's fine, it's just Bob" and then Dexter and Frank realize "...wait shit fr?" Bob takes his mask off and just goes "Sup?"

...And so husband number three slowly gets required, not right off the bat btw,, CC didn't just automatically form a relationship fgjkdlgdjfsd thats not how it works

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A funny bit I had for CC meeting Bob lore was that Frank talked to Bob afterwards like "So your that cannibal, yeah?" Bob nods "Mhm, did ya enjoy your burger, big man?" Frank is drinking something and then pauses as he slowly turns to Bob "...What was in that burger?" Bob doesn't answer, he just grins and Frank just turns to him fully in fear "BOB, WHAT WAS IN MY FUCKING BURGER...?!"

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CC's 'lore' and this entire bit of 'lore' is literally just so fucking silly,, this is so OOC compared to literally ANYTHING canon but like I said,, CC was never made to go for any canonical spooky month storyline,, he was just made for one: My little selfshipper heart

The Silliest Lads get into all sorts of shenanigans behind the scenes,, I just have nothing posted about it vjklcfjhdfksld

now if you want something a BIT closer to any sort of canon bullshit in SM, well, if you or anyone else asks/sends another ask,, I'll talk about Alan next, he's got a storyline attached to Bob but its WAY MORE in character and canonical

I WILL WARN THO BEFOREHAND- Again,, that will also have cannibalism talk and its actually some pretty dark shit,, hes the angst OC I got,, hes been used for nothin but angst

@kayfabebabe

Also tagging you just in case bc I didn't type this up for tumblr just not to notify ya lmao,, thank you btw for asking Friendo Mitch!!! Ya got me all happy and just exhilarated to talk about my funky lil guy here! <3

#Chase Answers #thank you friendo mitch <3 #im not even going to put this clusterfuck in the main tags of the sm stuff #it'll probably wind up there anyways with how many times i said their names but either way #spooky month oc #there- ok ONE tag #The Silliest Lads <3 #fhjdkdjfs im genuinely so sorry for how incredibly long this is but once i get asked i dont stfu fjdklfjds

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pinkydude · 3 years

Photo

Valentin & Mitch | 149/??

#Cyberpunk 2077 #Mitch Anderson #Aldecaldos #Valentin Da Silva #Male V #OTP: High Voltage #Screenshot #AAAAUUFHHUUUUGHHHC #HUhiguhiIHUGHUZhu #ok ok ok they #they're both anxious as fuck because-#Mitch almost died but Val too cuz the robots guard and #Mitch is like wtf are you doing here and stuff #they both angy as fuck #Val is like !!!! we here to save your ass You Almost Died deadass OUGhwh #HUUIGHZEIUHHIUGEZUHHUIG I CANT THINK I gotta fucking #write it down tomorrow but yeah I got fucking rot from this swap it got me fucked up

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miinesweeper · 2 years

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twdg ⌁ you get hurt

marlon:

- he would be right by your side instantly

- telling everyone to get bandages/medical supplies or to cover you if you guys were surrounded by walkers

- he would carry you back to your dorm, no matter if you were right outside the school or if you were all the way out past the safe zone

- he would be extremely worried constantly until he knew you were okay

- it's because he cares about you so much, and the idea of you being hurt (or possibly dying) makes him feel all sorts of awful

mitch:

- he would be so gentle with you honestly

- unlike most of the other ericson kids, he wouldn't flip his shit or panic

- he would be so calm and help you feel so safe

- and he doesn't even have to try that hard to do it tbh

- "awww look at mitch helping his s/o!" "wtf they're hurt of course i'm helping them-" "that's so sweet mitch!" "shut the fuck up"

louis:

- he would be asking you if you're okay every two minutes

- he'd probably panic a little

- and he'd be asking everyone what to do

- unless it was a really serious injury, you'd probably be the one having to tell him "don't worry, i'm fine" constantly

- if it was a more major injury, he'd take this as the chance to pamper the absolute hell out of you

- while you get better he'd be coming in to talk, get you whatever you needed, and even complimenting you even more than usual the entire time

clem:

- she would offer you a lot of stuff, like some of her dinner, her blankets and pillows and anything else she thinks will help you feel better

- "want me to go break my arm so i can stay in here with you?" (joking of course)

- she would be making sure that you don't work yourself too hard while you're still healing

- aj would probably draw you a picture to help make you feel better

violet:

- would be saying sarcastic and funny stuff to make you laugh

- if marlon or someone else tried to overwork you too much while you were still healing up and resting she'd definitely yell at them to leave you be

- she'd offer to do your work/chores around the school for you

- she would be checking on you a lot through out the day

#twdg s4 #twdg #twdg louis #twdg mitch #twdg marlon #twdg violet #twdg clementine

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9116 · 2 years

Note

Do you have any Mich gifs lying around? I miss him and want to look at his face

i don't have any new gifs to post nor content but here are my top minch marner posts from this year (according 2 me)

january

iconic

the b&w version got more notes. understandable

where it looks like he's kissing john

bitch

gay little monkey

rawr xD

february

i just love his face

alphatauri legend. fuck you pierre gasly

PRINCE HAIR please intact insurance we need more content

days off in toronto

more hair

his delusional era

red bull legend. these are not from 2021 but i posted them this year so we celebrate it

no face journeys

BACK TO WHEN HE ASKED HIS TEAMMATE TO FUCK HIM. we got you in 720p60

charming

one of my favorite photos of 2021

march

face. again

bonk. there is nothing going on inside this boy's head i think

best buds :')))

hug :)))

* ***** *** *** *******

side eye

april

asfjkdfjsjks. mental illness

THE CUTEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!

frog.

that's hot

i want to bully him too wtf

face. as always

may

i miss the mullet :’(

mean girls

material gworl

#me deciding what slur i'll call him today

i’m sorry

june

my #1 red bull athlete

i'm taking my time on my ride

july

not a lot of content but look!!! cute hair

august

the only original content on my mitch tag this month. i love them

september

dumb of ass

well. one of the few pictures we got from his gala. what the fuck mitch

hehehe. i love him

inside of him there are two wolves

god i love media day

2021-2022 headshot :D

october

:))))))

more stuff from media day

yes they are my favorite people

back to when this happened after he got his teeth fixed lmfao

god.

november

this celly Fucks

:DDD

plotting. always

as i said. For reasons

december

munch

what a clusterfuck of a month

here’s my mitch archive

why isn’t the read more thing working. oh my god

#WHY ISN'T THE READ MORE THING WORKING SJDJDJ #long post #i'm sorry everyone

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sseroxy · 4 years

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I WENT THROUGH DAN'S TWITTER AND FOUND SOME STUFF THAT SCARES AND INTRIGUES ME

The first image has the context of them using DND style mapping to place characters and go about with the story. If you zoom in you can see the Phases which are: Phase 1- Misc spawns platformer obstacles. Phase 2- ---- Miko. Phase 3------ boss mode. The words before Miko and boss mode are scratched out with white, meaning it's spoiler territory and that concerns tf outta me.

We also have 2 drawings of what looks to be a boss glitch, probably having 2 forms. And where they look to be at isn't familiar at all.

It then has what looks to be a map with the characters names on paper to show where they are. 5 is Five, MW probably being Mitch, R probably being the new character Ridely, M being Miko, B possibly being Boss and SNM being a new character. 5, Mitch and Ridely seem to be fighting the Boss while Miko is on an upper platform with SNM, which could be part of Phase 2 doing with Miko. OH AND FLIP YOUR PHONE/THE IMAGE TO SEE PART OF THE WORD "SACRIFICE" ON THE PAPER IN THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER. SO WHO IS SACRIFICING WHAT?

My theory? The only thing I can think is Glitch Miko being the scratched out part of phase 2(what the hell else could be a word to place there other than kill or smth i know it's gonna be messed up as Heck) and it brings me to the one screenshot of Miko looking down at something/someone with fear on her face(see my last post regarding color scripts).

----

Next image is of Five, Mitch wearing a hat that says "buds"(seen in the other image more clearly) and Phil holding a plunger. It looks like Mitch is mocking Phil for his weight and other than that, i got nothing else to think about the frame.

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The Next image is hard to make out but in the left corner there seem to be a bunch of color scripts. The only one I could make out looks like Miko in her ep 1 outfit holding a mallet.

-----

The Next image is from Karare Trainer and I didnt realize

---

The last image(dont concern the other it was just to show the buds hat) shows things for an ep written on the papers on the table and stuff on the whiteboard. Which read as the following;

"De-rezzing Arax. A. Resets him. B. Less stable each time? (Optional)

Things go too far, but we are ok (false victory)

Cant go to movie, got tickets, but rated N.

Arax: You used me! Like a plaything, like I was built for no purpose, but to serve you.

Have to leave theatre but Han wants to stay

We can put away Arax, but we feel bad, therefore we give him his ending"

On the whiteboard:

" Miko, Five and Hanshee at HQ

Establish "Glitch-Craft" (I stg) glitches that can't find hosts self replicate and get big. Crafters can create hosts and derez them.

(I think it says this): tiny (unreadable) and five

'Puppets'

Mitch enters, he is number 1"

Yo wtf I'm scared yet so ready for the next batch of eps! Please check out glitch techs and if you wanna chat about theories, dm me here, on Deviantart, Instagram or TikTok! I'm Sseroxy on all Owo.

#glitch techs five #glitch techs miko #glitch techs spoilers #glitch techs #glitch techs spoiler

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 3 years

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Okay so bc of how Meapless in Seattle would play out in the Relocation AU, Doof would have no reason to drink the liquefied cutonium. Cause he drinks it while trying to deny that he was there on a coffee date with Peter. Everyone is just playing keep-away with the container. (That said, it'd be funny if he DID drink it for some reason bc of the bit where the gang picks up the cutified Doof. They'd probably be like ._. "... That you, Dr. D?")

in general, the entire episode would play out way differently because the a- and b-plot gangs would inevitably end up joining forces. perry would definitely end up knocking mitch and balloony's robot suits around if they dared threaten phineas and ferb. (also i want to know what candace would think of balloony. i'm sure she'd have Words on that whole situation and it'd be super fucking funny to see.)

I should really start tagging posts about this au now... welp, live and learn lmao

Sooooo I’m going to stay up until 3 am waiting for the new Taylor Swift thing to drop on Disney+ so I can watch it with the rest of the fandom on twt, which means I have more than enough time to go off on tangents and I apologize in advance

I definitely think if/when I write this, I definitely want Heinz to drink the cutonium just for shits and giggles, but it didn’t occur to me until you said this that there wouldn’t really be a reason for him to do it, so, naturally, I rewatched the entire episode just to figure out that one scene and because I love that episode and I have a general idea of how it might go down:

It’s kinda the opposite of the actual episode, where it’s Peter and Perry are at the coffee shop and Heinz is outside (idk what he’s doing there tho bc he’s not visiting Peter uhhhhh help), and Heinz does something loud and stupid (probably falls over or something idk he’s clumsy he would totally do it) and everyone in the coffee shop looks out the window to see what happened, and Heinz looks through the window to see if anyone noticed (and they did). Obviously, Heinz sees Perry (and Peter but mostly Perry) and he’s like :))))))) and my original plan had been that Perry runs out to see him and gives him a hug or something cute like that, but my new plan is that Perry actually runs away because he’s afraid that if OWCA finds out that Heinz saw him, he’ll be relocated again and he was just starting to get used to Seattle.

Heinz runs around the building and tries to catch up to him, and he after Too Much Yelling, he finally gets Perry to stop around the same spot they were in the episode (with Peter slowly catching up). Idk what he’s gonna yell but it’s gonna be something really pure and heartwarming ig idk words are hard, but Perry’s gonna freeze and Heinz is gonna run towards him while paying absolutely no attention who his feet whatsoever and whoops he falls in one of the kids’ ditches.

*casual switch to present tense bc there’s literally no reason to write this in future tense*

Perry turns around and looks down at him and he can’t help but smile because he knows he shouldn’t be here but this man is just so freakin adorable and he absolutely remembers why he loved their nemesisship (not that he’d ever forgotten, of course, but it’s hitting him harder now that he sees him). Heinz’s just like “You gonna give me a hand?” (in a lighthearted way obviously) and Perry is absolutely not going to give him a hand because Heinz would end up pulling him in instead, but it doesn’t matter anyways because Heinz makes a really big gesture when he asks and he ends up knocking the cutonium loose. Perry hops down with him to check it out (and Heinz is lowkey offended that he’s more interested in this cup than his ex-nemesis) and then Mitch shows up and he’s like “Hey gimme the cup” and Heinz is like “nu-uh my cup” and Mitch is like “GIMME DA CUP” and Heinz is like “fine, take the cup!” and then downs the cutonium right in front of him out of pure spite and that’s why he ends up drinking the cutonium (and subsequently gets kidnapped by Mitch (after being tossed around like a game of hot potato))

Ngl I don’t really know how the rest of the fic is gonna go at all but you’re absolutely right that things are different so I’m gonna do some spitballing here,

For one, I feel like the kids would stop heading to the Flynn-Fletchers as much because it was just so sad, but for the sake of this fic, we’re gonna say that everyone was at the Flynn-Fletchers when this started so now Buford and Baljeet are there with them. They end up getting hold of Heinz the same way they do in the show, and Phineas absolutely does say “... that you, Dr. D?” (purely because I love when the kids call him “Dr. D” it makes my heart happy). And Heinz is like, “Perry the platypus is here!” and the kids are like 0_0 and even Phineas isn’t quite sure wtf is happening, but The Man Of Action Ferb pushes him out of the way and follows Heinz’s instructions (all while ignoring Meap talking about the cutonium bc this is far more important) and they find Peter and Perry still over by the ditch and someone yells down to them (or, more specifically, to Perry) and Perry looks up and sees them and starts tearing up, and they let him and Peter in and Perry just jumps up into Phineas’s arms (he can’t exactly jump up into Ferb’s because he’s driving) and it’s a very heartwarming moment and Ferb hands Buford his handkerchief and everything and then someone ruins the moment. Idk if it should be Meap being like “Someone wanna fill me in on wtf just happened?” or Heinz being like “Wtf Perry you ran away from me but not them?” but it sure do ruin the moment, that’s for sure

Uhhhh idk that’s all i got on that. I guess Mitch gets Heinz back and then the kids team up with Perry (and Peter this time) and go get him and stuff happens? And there’s a running “gag” ig where Buford is the only one that thinks it’s weird that Heinz drank the cutonium out of spite and he keeps bringing it up and everyone else is like yeah that sure did happen whats your point

Oh my god tho I need the kids to see Ballooney. Literally everyone else would be like “oh no it’s an evil balloon ex-best-friend we should be scared” and Candace is like WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS THING and she is the only one to question why the fuck there’s a sentient balloon man there fdhfsjadfhsjkad

#look i have an ask #at2d relocation au #look i have an ask AND a tag for it #too lazy to add the tag to the other posts yet tho #but if anyone has any ideas about literally anything related to this au #(or not related to this au)#please hmu!

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years

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srsly??? no sex scene after you TEASED us with it wtf?? after how long with you is takin g when it was SUPPOSED TO BE FINISHED FOREVRER AGO you owe us something. ppl are already pissed that your taking so long that they aren't reading anymore and you don't care! with you is a CLOUIS story and should focus on CLOUIS but you INSIST on adding more bullshit th we don't want to drag the fucking thing out but don't give us what we want. no one reads your shit anymore becus of this you fucking prude

Well, this is quite the thing to wake up to.

Usually, I’d just roll my eyes and delete your message, anon, but I do feel like I should address a couple things here because I’m a bit baffled and would like to understand where you’re coming from, I suppose.

First of all, I’ve never teased any sort of sex scene in [with you]. I’ve had plenty of smooching that gets a bit heated, but it never goes beyond that. I have had people question me about if they’re doing more than just smooching behind the scenes [mostly from people on wattpad but like what else is new over there haha] and the answer from me is no. Like... making out doesn’t automatically equal sex, y’know? I don’t write with the intention of that, but I can’t stop you if that’s the way you interpret their relationship.

Second, I don’t owe you or anyone else anything. I don’t, and trying to guilt me into feeling like a piece of shit because I haven’t finished [with you] and I’m losing readers because of it and then telling me that I don’t care isn’t okay.

I don’t get paid to write or create things within the community. I run this blog, do themed nights, work on fanfics, and other things for the community in my own free time and I make no money off of it. This isn’t a job, it’s a hobby and I can’t always work on things and pump them out just to appease you.

And yeah, I’m aware that I don’t have as many readers as I had before, but s4 is over. The fandom isn’t thriving like it used to and that’s always going to lower the number of readers. That’s just what happens. Plus, you’re probably right, a lot of readers probably did lose interest because I took it down to rewrite and has been a slow process. That’s okay, I get it.

Third, I’m aware the [with you] is a clouis story? Like... obviously? Haha, but I get it, you’re annoyed that I also focus on the other characters as well, yes? Listen, [with you] is my story and if I want to focus on the other characters who are just as important to the story as Clementine and Louis, then I’m going to.

If I want to develop Mitch and James’ relationship over the course of the story, I will. If I want to focus on Violet so that her interactions with certain characters make sense, I will. If I want to give Omar a backstory rather than keeping him as a nothing character, then I will. That’s all there is to it, and if you don’t like that and it actually angers you as much as it seems to based on your message, then don’t read it. I don’t know what else to tell you.

As for the bit about “but don't give us what we want” I assume that’s about the sex bit. Listen, if you want to read that stuff, go to Wattpad. You’ll find lots of that stuff without even trying. You’re not going to find any of that here.

Lastly, I get if you’re frustrated. However, acting like a child trying to make me feel like I’m a piece of shit for whatever reason isn’t going to do anything. It’s not going to make me quit writing or my blog, it’s not going to make me write faster to appease you, and it’s not going to make me feel shitty.

Like I said, I usually trash these but I did want to clear up something about the “teasing” of that stuff, the “you owe us” stuff, how it’s a clouis story that also shifts focus to other characters and all that for anyone else who was feeling the same way or thinking something similar.

With that, anon, I hope writing that your message out relieved some frustration or tension. Maybe I answered some of your questions [or complaints, I guess] and you can move on.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make myself some tea.

#asks #oof #haha #like i said many times #i rarely answer stuff like this #but i had it in me to do so this morning #mostly because i'm confused #but that could just be i haven't had my tea yet #i dunno #either way there ya go

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jordm · 5 years

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Heartland 12x03 - Just Breathe review

CLINT IS BACK! I repeat, Clint is back!

This was also apparently the episode of ex’s becoming friends (again) and of advice giving; oh and also exes agreeing to NOT give advice about to their exes about dating. Solid rule I’d say - except apparently in the case of Adam.

The Treehouse

Jack wants to build a treehouse; and Tim is only too eager to help, much to Jack’s chagrin. But what’s it with Tim and his obsession with the tree house?

Turns out awhile back, Tim wanted to build a treehouse for Amy & Lou... but never got to it. Okay, thats kind of sentimental. But really, all I wanted to say about the treehouse is that for 2 days of work they did a damn good job. All it needs is a little paint and its good to go. Like it’d literally take me a month to do what they did lo

Maya

So we learn Jen is alive, indeed, apparently managing the dude ranch & has booked a horse yoga retreat, which Lou learns about last minute! Things we learn about Maya in the first meeting:

- She’s Vegan (and so is everybody else at the retreat) and has great butt muscles (literally)

- She doesn’t seem to know that Lou is Mitch’s ex?

- She has learnt ALOT about the family from Mitch. And I mean ALOT. She knows what everyone does on the daily. Which makes it all the more worse when she learns how Mitch knows the family...

- But most importantly, she’s Mitch’s current girlfriend! Awkward.

Anyways, it’s Maya’s first retreat with her horse and she’s excited - until she’s bucked off while doing Yoga (sooo not namaste). Although not gonna lie, yoga itself is hard enough - but on a horse? Major props. Anyways, a horse problem? Amy’s on the case!

Full discretion, i don’t know what the actual problem with the horse is but whatever it is, Amy seems to solve it. Something with the horse not being used to weight on it’s back with the saddle or something? All you need to know is, Amy solved the problem.

Back to the main drama - Mitch has not told Maya about Lou, and when Maya finds out she kicks him out. Mitch confides in Lou, and Lou actually gives some pretty solid advice despite Mitch bringing up some major differences between them, like she’s a Vegan and he’s a cattle rancher? (actually though WTF, all the vegans I know - a total of 2 btw - would not date cattle ranchers). This is solid character development on Lou’s end, and it was nice to see her give good advice, even if it was against her better judgement, or Mitch’s to ask his ex because this could have gone the other way.

It was also nice to see her try to meditate - only to throw the amethyst in frustration that Maya & Mitch are back together, which demonstrates that she put his feelings above hers in away. She may still like Mitch - in some way but is not trying to manipulate him. Old Lou may have done that.

Luke

Apparently Ty seems to be Clint’s most successful case, therefore Ty (or rather... Amy) jumps at the chance when Clint asks Ty to mentor (look after?) Luke, a troubled kid for the weekend.

“You know, I actually brought Ty out here when he was little. He liked it so much, he decided not to leave” - Clint

Luke is quiet - almost too quiet. Seems to be on point, with the story - seems calm at home but at at school, tells a different story - angry, hostile shall we that led to his being suspended & another kid losing teeth. This is seen when Tim, not seeming to understand that this Luke’s story and background, takes away, Luke’s phone and Luke lashes out. And then all of a sudden, he’s quiet again. Day & night.

Oh Tim, what did you really expect when you take away a kids phone? A kid who has been pulled from what he’s known into the wilderness away from his family for a weekend. While I appreciate Tim’s sentiment in trying to teach this kid a lesson in not being so attached to devices, this was definitely not the right away to go about this.

“I’ll stay out of your little face if you stay off your phone” - Tim #nottherightway

(Major props to Amy who realized that Tim being around maybe isn’t the best thing and distracting her father)

SO i didn’t expect the episode title to be named after a Ty quote - not a Maya quote - but in the end Ty manages to get through to Luke, after all, Luke is a lot like Ty from back in the day. He even gets Luke to tell him that he lashed out because someone insulted his mother (sounds like someone?!) and in the end, seems to earn his trust, inviting him back whenever he wants. Something tells me we’ll see him sooner than later.

Frankly, i’m surprised Clint hasn’t brought back anyone else earlier.

Wyatt & Georgie

Georgie and Wyatt pick up that Maya is flirting with Mitch a little too much - and it’s then I realize that they probably don’t know they’re dating which would explain the flirty texts and general flirting. Actually it’s kind of nice to see Georgie be so hesitant to tell her mom about it so that her feelings aren’t hurt. It’s just nice to see Lou again, plainly.

More to the point, after these two days, Wyatt and Georgie agree to be friends, without the whole advice about dating thing. Probably a wise move. Am I the only one who thought they left off as friends, then realized it ended last season with Wyatt storming off? Oops, maybe I was thinking of Adam.

I think this friend thing will go better for the younger Fleming than the elder - she has a better track record (okay just Adam but that’s still a pretty strong friendship now). I also stand by my prediction that by the end of the season Georgie and Wyatt will find their way back to each other - the way they awkwardly talked about if there was anyone “they should know about” (talk about learning from your elders mistakes) made it seem like it maybe wasn’t completely over - however at the same time if they did want to try again, it’d think it’d have to be a fresh start and I don’t think either was ready to jump back in head first quite so soon. Again, probably a wise move.

“And it there is, you’ll be the first to not know” - Georgie

“Great” - Wyatt *knocks on wood*

Yeah... I don’t think Wyatt is completely over Georgie.

Also, Wyatt is me seeing Maya throw Mitch’s “stuff” (a hat and one clothing item), while SCREAMING at him out of the cottage. Actually Wyatt is me awkwardly witnessing a fight that I shouldn’t be overhearing.

Songs in this Episode ( @heartlandians )

Ong Namo - Snamtam Kaur

Road to Happiness - Evan Olson

Ra Ma Da Sa - Snamtam Kaur

All my Life - Wild

#just breathe #heartland #season 12 #12x03 #review

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cksmart-world · 3 years

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The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

December 29, 2020

2021 WILL BE A BUSY YEAR FOR KARMA

People are going to be writing books forever on what a bad year 2020 was. But as Susan Eloise Hilton said in 1971: “That was then, this is now.” Or as Michael J. Fox said in “Back To The Future” — “That was now, this is then.” Well, whatever. The fact is that 2020 sucked and 2021 can't help but to be better as author and activist Timothy Pina said: “Everything will usually get worse before it gets better... Forgive but never forget. Let Karma take care of all the rest.” That said, Karma has a lot of catching up to do. Imagine what Karma has in store for The Donald and his family. Orange could be the new Trump family uniform color. Imagine Donald in the chow line in prison. “Not shit on a shingle again!”And what awaits Mitch McConnell. How could Karma possibly even the score with that sonofabitch. Shit on a shingle is way too good. And don't think Mike Lee and Sean Reyes are gonna walk away unscathed. They probably won't lose their Temple Recommends — but maybe they'll get called on missions to San Salvador or Kabul, Afghanistan. Fortunately, that's all for Karma to figure out and it will be quite a challenge. Still, it is the Chinese Year of the Ox and there is no guilty pleasure quite as rewarding as watching the bad guy's Ox getting gored.

WHAT TO BUY WITH A $600 STIMULUS CHECK

1 – A haircut at Bergdorf Goodman

2 – A round-trip flight for one to Mar-A-Lago

3 – A Strathberry handbag of the type worn by Elaine Chow

4 – One Michelin Pilot tire for your Porsche 911 S

5 – Groceries for a family of four for one month

6 – A pair of Cartier sunglasses like Melania wears marked down to $599.00

7 – A Restorative Detox Wrap at the Mandarin Spa in Manhattan

8 – Dinner for three at the St. Regis in Deer Valley

9 – A bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild (2005)

10 – Or two week's rent at a rundown motel on State Street

GET YOUR “FREE KYLE” T SHIRTS TO SAVE AMERICA

Act now. Get your “Kyle Rittenhouse” T shirts, caps and hoodies on-line to help with the defense of America's new folk hero. The chubby, little guy showed true patriotism on Aug. 25 when he shot and killed two men in Kenosha,Wis., who probably deserved it. Rittenhouse, who is 17 and white, brought an AR-15 to the demonstration to “protect private property” against BLM shitheads who were using the police shooting of Jacob Blake, a black man, as an excuse to get drunk and burn stuff down. That's just un-American. Although he is too young to legally own a firearm, Kyle knew it was his duty to bear arms and kick ass. But now the Deep State has charged him with murder. By purchasing Kyle Rittenhouse T shirts and hoodies we can raise $2 million for his defense — because freedom ain't free. Hold it, this just in: The company selling Kyle's merch is shutting down the website because “it violates company policy of content that promotes violence.” WTF. Since when does a “Killing In Self Defense” T shirt promote violence? This is as American as apple pie. Remember the “Free Jeffrey Dahmer” T shirts? And what about those “Ted Bundy Is One Of Us” hoodies? Wasn't it Washington or maybe Goldwater who said: “Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice.” Yeah, damn it. Let's invade our country.

Post script — Well, that's a wrap for another year here at Smart Bomb where you don't have to keep track of Trump's pardons, because our staff does it for you. This is the time of year, of course, when people make New Year's resolutions. But some jaded folks refuse to because they know they won't follow through and don't want to get even more depressed before Groundhog Day, which in and of itself is a cruel joke. Normally in January the gyms fill up with people who have resolved to get in shape. Others resolve to quit smoking. And some say they will never drink another drop of eggnog for the rest of their lives. Here at Smart Bomb, the staff has made a few New Year's resolutions, too: Some have resolved to eat less bacon. Bacon makes everything better — even hideous stuff like brussel sprouts and asparagus — but like everything else that is good, bacon is not your friend, despite what Jimmy Dean says. Wilson and the band say they are going to draw the line on tofu, which is cheap because they don't eat tofu, anyway, claiming it's not a food but a building material. At the end of the day, the best resolutions are the ones where we try to be kinder to the people we hate — or at least bite our tongues when we're thinking about what shitheads they are. Happy New Year.

Alright Wilson, it's the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021, so why don't you and the band put down the paper party whistles and take us out with a little something for these times:

As I walk through This wicked world Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity. I ask myself Is all hope lost? Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside, There's one thing I wanna know: What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?

(Peace, Love And Understanding — Elvis Costello)

PPS — During this difficult time for newspapers please make a donation to our very important local alternative news source, Salt Lake City Weekly, at PressBackers.com, a nonprofit dedicated to help fund local journalism. Thank you.

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comastoast · 6 years

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@wuunderstruck here’s my rambles of plots for our muses pls lov me:tm:

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ Cooper Velasquez

( ETHAN MCDONALD, Dylan O’Brien, 23 ) OH MY GOD HE’S A MECHANIC AND I JUST AGGRESSIVELY i was gonna go in order BUT I WANT A TPOSE AND DOBRI BROTP FROM WHEN THEY WERE KIDS AND THEY WORK IN THE SAME MECHANIC SHOP / ETHAN’S SHOP AND JUST them working for hours on end and shooting the shit then going out for drinks after work nd talkin about girls and hard jobs or talk about old cars they wanna buy and flip and just fuckin brodown towntown listen i just got so stoked when i saw cooper was a mechanic pls love me

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ Addison Cohen

( ALEX HENNY, Herman Tommeraas, 21 ) ugh college bros or a cute lil ship where they’re in all the same classes basically and Alex picks her up in the mornings from her dorm or house with coffee and they sit next to each other in every class and shoot the shit and then Alex convincing her to go to a frat party where they wind up just sitting up on the roof talkin about school & where they’re gonna be in ten years & their lives & ITS JUST A CUTE COLLEGE SHIP

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ Cameron Hayes

( XAVIER MARTIN, Nat Wolff, 23 ) OK SO I CAN TOTALLY SEE THEM DOIN SKETCHY STUFF TOGETHER because a few of their things line up besides hacker but with how loner-y Xavier is I can imagine him being a hacker with or against Cameron??? ANd they can either be squad and late nights tryin’a hack into something or little shitty hacking games and they have this abandoned house where they meet up and we can even go full Mr. Robot where they’re tryin’a take down the government

( NOLAN GRAND, Aaron Tveit, 25 ) I saw good punches and i was like oo boi either they hate eachother nd fight all the time or they bros and they go out and get into fights with other people / they’re eachothers wingmen like gimmie those VIBES BRO

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ Fallon Birch

( MAGS O’SULLIVAN, Saoirse Ronan, 23 ) Ok the simple ‘feeling of beginning again’ was enough for me for these two bc Mags is the feeling of the first day of summer so I feel like they’re both like that burst of freedom(?) but either way I definitely want a lowkey long-distance ex girlfriend for Mags and I don’t know if Fallon could fall into that but imagine the cute letters and the phone calls and late night texts bc maybe they broke up bc Fallon moved out of state or Mags moved away or something and the whole ‘i still feel for you but the distance is KILLING ME’

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ Jacqueline "Jack" Belmont

( MILO SHEPARD, Nick Jonas, 24 ) ugh just imagine she’s his usual bartender and he actively goes when he knows she’s working because for some reason he just feels like she actually sees him despite the fact the only people who ever talk to him / “see” him only view him as that guy who took their kids away from them bc apparently they’re not good parents and Milo & Jack have this nice bond where they sort of talk about their days but it’s vague and it’s usually really later on at night when there’s no one really in the bar besides the usual drunks & dudes lookin to get laid but Milo is strictly there just to unwind after long days or incredibly rough cases and they just have this refreshing bond

( OPHELIA MONROE, Billie Lourd, 22. ) UGH THEY BOTH WORK AT THE ANIMAL SHELTER AND BOND OVER THE POOR ANIMALS and lowkey they both talk eachother out of adopting anymore animals bc you know Ophie has like three dogs and four cats and it’s dramatic but she just keeps feeling so bad for the poor babies who can’t find homes so she takes them and Ophie and Jack go for walks / take their animals out and they’re just girl squad goals as FUCK

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ Rowan Penn

( JACKSON ALLEN, Daniel Sharman, 23 ) I’m A Slut For This Ship Okay Please Just Love Me but imagine they met one night when he was drunk and going to a diner and she just happened to be there and Jack mistook her for an old friend of his but he refused to listen to her deny she was that friend and they start talking and it’s an awkward like ‘i’m not who you think i am but you’re so drunk and kinda bein cute talkin about the old days so i’m not gonna stop you’ but the next day he wakes up and he’s like ‘oh my god i just told you all these embarrassing stories and you’re not even who i THOUGHT YOU WERE WHAS GOING ON.’ but they develop a friendship off it / possibly a slowburn or even a FAST BURN like WHATEVER YOU WANT

( LENNON, Jaria Burns, 23 ) YOUTUBE SQUAD, ROWAN IS ACTUALLY LENNON’S INSPIRATION, LIKE HER TOTAL MVP / ROLEMODEL AND THEY MEET AND LENNON IS JUST LIKE A HOT MESS LIKE ‘rowan god damn penn i have been in love w you for YEARS’ just like a total fan and they do a few video collabs and it can either be GREAT and they become BEST friends or it can go HORRIBLY and they lowkey hate eachother but have to pretend to be nice to not ruin eachothers reputations

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ plots off your wishlist !!

During a bank robbery you’re surprised when the criminals seem to recognize you and retreat in fear. Only later do you learn that your high school sweet-heart now runs a global crime syndicate and has you placed on a “No Harm” list. You decide to pay them a visit after all these years. ( I can definitely see Mitch being the one who put one of your muses on the ‘no harm’ list, I rec lola jade park or marley birch !! )

hey, gimme a mlm or wlw plot where they both work for a company like buzzfeed or sourcefed (rest in peace ;( ), and do videos and bits together and are vv cute and everyone thinks so and tbh, they do too but they’re also losers who never do anything about it so they use their status as internet personalities as excuses to be w each other (like date night vlogs ?? find the best place in the city to wind and dine). and they’re just v cute and slow burn w lots of tension. ( BIH SHUT UP LENNON & ROWAN VIBES )

ok but a ‘your apartment is next to/above mine & i can hear you & your partner dancing & singing & the bed moving & you two laughing & talking in hushed tones & it won’t let me sleep so i bitch about it to you 24/7 & then one day it just stops & one day turns into one week & then months & i haven’t seen you smile in forever please let me in, i’ve been knocking for ten minutes’ au. ( SCREAMS HEATH & JACK OR KAZ & TATE just imagine the angst )

i just want a damaged, broken boy who doesn’t have a lot of friends & keeps to himself & a caring, kind girl who takes interest in him & gets him to open up & rocks him in her lap when he can’t stop crying & rubs his back when he has nightmares & teaches him that it’s okay to show his pain because being strong doesn’t have to mean hiding your emotions please give me this ( I can definitely see Xavier being the sad boi & any of your girls consoling him or even Milo being the sad boy bc his job is so rough OR I can see Colby taking care of one of your sad bois or Lily because they’re both that soft lemme hold ur hand for a bit ok )

is anyone down to make an m/f platonic af brotp. where they go on lil friend lunch dates, randomly show up @ each other’s places, and stay up late talking shit about their shitty date they just went on. and they fight like a married couple and hold grudges against each other. but if someone were to fuck with one of them, the other would be like “wait bitch, only i’m allowed to do that.” ( GIRL WTF PLEASE GIVE ME A BROTP FOR LENNON, MAGS, ETHAN OR XAVIER LIKE DAMN IM HERE FOR 50 OF THESE THREADS PLATONIC BROTPS ARE MY AESTHETIC )

#brave lil toaster.#ugh i rambled a lot #and got lazy at the end but if u WANT MORE / OTHER MUSES HM U BAE

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secret-rendezvous1d · 7 years

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*SPOILERS*

Okay so it was a really long day and night it overran by two hours and I can’t remember the exact order everything happened so it may not be chronologically accurate but I’m gonna try my best to tell it from start to finish as correct as possible.

So once we were like in the waiting area to go in everyone was just chilling out and stuff all just waiting to go in, people were singing along to the music that was playing and it was all nice and chilled, well it was until someone worked out that Harry was in a room near us and this one girl managed to somehow make 300/400 people be quiet and told us that Harry was in that room and we all started yelling his name and cheering and shit and I couldn’t see so I don’t know if he came out or not but eventually everyone just screamed and then went back to their seats so I don’t know exactly what happened there but something happened 😂 then Taylor swift we are never ever getting back together comes on the radio so we all start singing along to that to take the piss lmao and then eventually we start going in.

So the stage place was great I’ll like draw a diagram or something but it was like a circular stage with the bands stuff and everything on it and then there was a catwalk bit as well and we all fill up around it and then there are seats at the end for people who got seats like Harry’s family etc. I saw Anne, this was like an amazing achievement for me cuz it’s fucking Anne I was shook lmao so yeah and then we did all the warm up cheering and stuff before nick came on and he told us it was Sarah’s birthday so we all sang happy birthday without actually being told to so it was a little out of time but I think she was happy with it lmao. Then he introduced Harry and omfg I just I can’t he was so fucking beautiful like you think he’s pretty in the pics and then he’s stood right in front of you and you’re just like holy shit it’s an angel and ughhhhh he’s wearing that suit and omg we all just lost our minds 😂

He did a bit of a chat with us just saying hello and thanks and he introduced the band and then it came to Mitch, I didn’t even realise it was Mitch he’d cut his hair off I was like woah wtf and someone yells “where’s the hair” and Harry was like “wouldn’t we like to know” and made a sarcastic comment about him not knowing and then joked that they carry it around with them like a wig and said that he wasn’t aware it was being cut off too and he was being all cute with us he came over to my section by the side of the stage and waved to us all and everyone was screaming but I was just like in shock so I was just staring like wtf this man is not actually in front of me rn and he just smiled at me and omg I was like fuck no that didn’t just happen it did he fucking looked at me and smiled holy shit. So he started with two ghosts and it was so beautiful hearing it live and all the lighting and stuff they had was amazing and just made it an amazing experience and we were swaying and stuff it was so nice.

Someone asked him what he had for lunch as he said fish so after a while we started asking what type of fish and he was confused as to why we were asking but eventually told us he had seabass and that it was very nice. Turns out the girl who asked worked at McDonald’s so wanted to know, the warm up comedian guy made a good point that Harry wouldn’t go to McDonald’s and she was like “we sell fish” and he was like right okay then.

Okay then I think he did from the dining table next omg the people behind me was so funny she was like “oh shit no someone hold me!” I was like same girl same but he did that and it was just silence and I’m gonna be honest I was stood next to my mum and when he went “played with myself” I lost it I laughed, no one heard it I just found it awkward af hearing him actually say it and I laughed, it sounded more like a choke but yeah my immature mind couldn’t take it. There was one bit when we all clapped along but then went back to silence and at the end we were like stunned cuz it took a couple secs to get the clapping going again but it was shocking to hear it live it was so emotional I wasn’t prepared.

THEN RODGER OMG okay Rodger is like the manager of something and he was kinda telling everyone what to do, he got us going for the clapping and stuff and was pausing between songs to make sure everything was right, so Rodger was like alright Harry we gotta do two ghosts again and Harry was like what okay then so he did it again and it was just as good as the first time. He was jokingly yelling at Rodger and we joined in and when he asked what he was supposed to do they said nothing and he was like that’s all I’m good for I was like baby nooo. Then he did meet me in the hallway holy shit that was amazing he was so good and hearing the “give me some morphineeee” but it gave me shivers even tho it wasn’t him who sung it.

He joked that all the sad songs were done and he did a cheeky grin and was like let’s move on be happy and Rodger was like wait no Harry we need FTDT again please and Harry said that he looked like a prat now and omg no one needs to hear FTDT twice it hurt I wasn’t prepared and the people behind me were literally freaking out about it I was like omg okay this is crazy 😂

We were asking him for jokes while they sorted the staging and he asked if we had any and I think someone said the cow one and he was like omg no but while laughing so we didn’t get a joke. He also said something like “I’ve got one joke but it’s a bit dirty,” then he looked over the crowd towards Anne and was like “can’t tell them the one you told me the other day can I Sandra!”

Then I think he might’ve done seeet creature? This is where the order gets a bit muddled sorry I’m not 100% anymore, but he was like “this is sweet creature” and everyone screamed and he did it and it was so beautiful I FUCKING LOOKED OVER TO ANNE AND SHE WAS SINGING ALONG I WAS LIKE OMG MY HEART so yeah that was just really really nice to listen to it was beautiful.

Then I think he did ever since New York? He was like “sing along if you know it” so I was like holy shit Stockholm syndrome yes let’s do it! Then he said something like “this is a song I wrote uhh wrote it a while ago when I was uhh yeah I was in New York” and ngl I love the song but it’s never been my favourite but hearing it live was amazing and I loved it as much as the others I think he had a guitar for it and stuff it was just nice and chilled.

He went off stage at some point for a wee lmao and when he came back he shook hands with the warm up guy, he did this every time they passed each other my heart ugh, and he came back and said “I was walking back and someone asked me if I was gonna change my suit!” He was so offended aww he also said that someone told him a joke so he told us and yeah wasn’t great he was like “a bear walked into a bar and said I’ll have a pint of beer and a ………. packet of peanuts. The bartender says why the big pause” and we all just went a little quiet and he goes “you know, paws, bears have paws” and he put his hands up like paws and we all laughed and he wasn’t happy with it lmao

Then he did Carolina and omg he fucking loves it you can tell he loves it so much he was coming around the stage making us doing the lalalalas and was just loving every second of it I was like you’re so happy I love youuu Woman was amazing, I was there with my mum and she really doesn’t like it lmao so she looked at me like wtf Sophie why I was like soorryyyy gotta love it tho and ugh it was an experience the lighting was all red and like sexy? I dunno but yeah it was fucking amazing I was shook. During the instrumental he just stood with his back to us but did that like body roll dancing thing he does you know? Where he like bobs his head to the music and stuff? I don’t know if that makes sense but he did that lmao then he finished it and we all went wild lmao

Then he told us another joke but really dragged it out so he told us a line then did a song then told us a line and then a song so it went like this: “Two cupcakes were in an oven” *song* “One cupcake turns to the other and says hey” *song* “Wait where did I get to?” We tell him where he got to “oh yeah yeah okay, one cupcake turns to the other and says hey, the other goes ah! A talking cupcake!” And we all just stared at him like wtf even was that and he was like “breaking it up like that really ruined it” and we were just like wtf Harry no

Sign of the times was just yeah wow he dedicated it to Freya, a girl who was a victim in the Manchester attack. He said “this next one, in dedicating to my friend Freya who’s here tonight” and it was really sweet I could see her and they from where I was, she was sat near Anne, and they were all smiling at her. The whole thing was amazing we all sang along I cried cuz Anne was crying like it made me so sad and I felt bad for like watching her so I wasn’t watching but I glanced over and she was wiping her eyes and just sobbing and I just wanted to give her the biggest hug and at the end the people she was with were comforting her so it was okay but it still hurt to see it. He didn’t do “it’s a sign. Of. The. Times” bit that he does towards the end when it’s live I was like damn and i don’t think he did all the of the ending cuz I know there were a few bits where it was just us singing but it was so great to just listen to it it was amazing.

Lou came on to do his make up and he looked at us and was like I don’t wear make up and someone said that he always says that and he said he doesn’t she said he does and then he was like IVE BEEN EXPOSED! He kept moving while she was doing it tho he must be an absolute pest he was looking around and she was putting powder on his and she was sorting his hair and he was turning to look at us and stuff.

We all started chanting for kiwi, my section all started singing it and he just looked over with a smirk and he was like maybe…. all cheeky then deadpanned “no” and I swear we all gasped lmao and ugh he grinned that smile will be the death of me so then he did it he did kiwi. It had a really big drum intro so everyone was like what’s it’s gonna be then kiwi started and we all went mad and it was an outer body experience the lighting was incredible he was going crazy he did the stance with his hand on his hip he was insane it was honestly so just in awe of it and then after he was like “we need to start doing that one last, I get all sweaty” and everyone started cheering for it again and he was like maybe at the end alright?

He was talking to a fan in the audience and he was nodding along to what she was saying then at the end goes “that sounds really interesting but I’ll be honest I didn’t hear any of it” Then he did only angel, he didn’t do the little angel wings okay I hate to disappoint but he didn’t I was kinda sad about it. But during the intro, there was a spotlight coming from behind him so he just went and stood infront of it with his back to us and put his arms out and was like Jesus or something he had his hands shaking and I was like holy fuck what is this and then he sung it HE WENT OVER TO SOMEONE AND HE SUNG A GOOD TEN SECONDS OF IT RIGHT IN HER FACE I WAS LIKE LET THAT BE ME I DONT KNOW HOW SHES STILL ALIVE BUT CONGRATS TO HER 😂 it was amazing though yeah you’ll love it.

Then he did kiwi again and it was just as great as the first time and we were all hyped lmao he threw a bottle of water at us.

The chain and girl crush were mixed in there somewhere and ngl my uneducated ass had never heard either before so listening to Harry sing them a completely new thing, the entire place was quiet except for clapping and we all just listened the Harry. For the chain he sang all parts but the band did a lot of singing too, he says later in the interview that the band are all singers so it was an easy song to do. And for girl crush that was amazing too, ngl Hearing Harry saying “I want her long blonde hair” made my heart skip a beat because I have long blonde hair so yeah that was incredible. Also, in the interview when the chain was brought up and he looked to the band to say how they were all singers, I looked to the band too, now, I don’t want to start any drama and they are probably just friends and stuff but Sarah was sat on Mitch’s lap and they were whispering to each other and giggling and when Harry and grimmy looked over, Adam looked down and shook his head as if he was like “knew you’d get caught” and Clare was smiling at them while then just acted as if everything was fine I was like uhhhhh… k then 😂

Anyway, for the interview we got moved down towards the end so we could see it better because they did it on a different bit of stage to the performance. I was behind him and he kept turning around to chat with the people there and ugh I just had this nice view of the back of his head and his little baby ears and his jaw and ugh man it was good he’s got such broad shoulders damn. Anywayyyyyy…

The girl in front of me was crying, he hadn’t done anything except be there and she was just bawling and omg he turned around and was like “yeh alright? D'yeh need anything? Yeh okay?” I was like baby awwww and he was chatting to them and Lou came and did his make up again and we were like hi Lou and she said hi and that was cute and someone asked was lipstick he was wearing, I thought they asked what foundation but everyone keeps saying lipstick so we’ll go with that lol and he was like not telling

He waved to Anne like he did a cute little wave like a baby wave if that makes sense so he put his hand in a fist and then out of a fist yknow? And she did it back I was like awwww THEN A LITTLE LATER HE GAVE HER A THUMBS UP LIKE CHECKING IT WAS GOOD AND SHE GAVE HIM ONE BACK ANS HIS FACE LIT UP I WAS SCREAMING.

Harry disappeared again and the comedian warm up man came back and was handing out the water bottles and stuff and gave out Harry’s guitar pick and one of the crew was like “alright Andrew that’s enough just leave it now” cuz he was gonna pass out he set lists and he basically got told off lmao but loads of people were asking for drinks so the crew brought us all a load of juice cartons so when Harry gets back we’re all drinking juice so for a bit of the interview we’re all stood there with juice lmao The interview was great, they changed the chairs that they had been in before tho so they were trying to work out how to sit in them cuz if they sat in them properly then then sunk back but if they sat on the end then it was intimidating. Grimmy said he felt like piers Morgan and Harry got out of his seat and was like “I’m off then” I was like oooooo shady They did like a video thing prerecorded HE GOES AND PLAYS BINGO WIRH THE ELDERLY AND NONE OF THEM PICK HIS ALBUM AS THEIR PRIZE HE WAS SO POUTY AND UGH IT WAS SO CUTE LIKE THAT WAS AMAZING he was like “Mary! Why not!” And then they got back in the car and Harry was like “she was asked if she wants shampoo, shampoo is provided there she shouldn’t need it that was a wrapped copy wasn’t even opened” and grimmy was like “I left it there, they’re gonna use it as a coaster” and Harry just laughed but he was hurt. Then they go and do darts but with axes and Harry hits it every time except once while nick is shit at it and cuz Harry won he gets to have a go with two axes and he gets them both on target and we all went wild lmao he was so proud

Grimmy was like okay we’re gonna go back to the beginning talk about the history and we started singing history and it was amaizng it started just a few people but then we all joined in and Harry started tapping his foot along with it for the beat and it was really great. Grimmy also commented on the fact we scream about anything either of them says and demonstrated it he was like “watch this, today” *scream* “i” *scream* “am here” *scream* “with Harry styles” *scream* and Harry laughed at us. They spoke about Dunkirk and the album all the basics really. We all went mad about Dunkirk when they showed pics lmao. Someone yelled “Harry can you wish me luck on my driving test?” And he was like “yeah good luck” and she goes “thanks I’ll let you know how it goes” and he was like what? And looked confused but was just like “yeah that’s great thanks”

Someone asked if he’d sign something for her and he was like yeah you got a pen or paper or anything? And she was like no and he was like well can’t do it can I? Then she got some paper lmao right before the interview started again and it went quiet she goes “Harry I got the paper!” And he chuckled and was like “alright that’s a good start”

They had to film all the little connections between the songs and the interview for when they edit it all together and at one bit Harry didn’t know what song he was supposed to be introducing so grimmy was like “what’s songs next then Harry?” And he was like “uhhhh I mean I don’t know” and they had to redo it. This happened like twice lmao

He kept doing this silly walks too like you could tell he wasn’t bored but he was like playing up a little cuz it was just doing things being put together so they could edit it all later and he was doing like that Irish kick thing and walking all weird and skipping and stuff it was funny. At the end he was calling for Anne he was like “mum, mum, MUM” cuz she was talking to someone and then he was doing all these little signals to tell her what to do next and then he said a final thank you to us all for coming and waiting all day for him and stuff and was running along touching everyone’s hands and okay this might be a reach but I think it happened so I’m hoping it did but he was saying goodbye everyone and I was stood watching cuz I didn’t want to miss anything and he like looked over the crowd to where I was stood and he did this a couple times. I was wearing the sweatshirt he wore, he wore a pink sweatshirt a little while back and I bought it and I wore it yesterday so I’m like “he was looking at me cuz he recognised I was wearing his sweatshirt” then I realised I was stood in line with Anne so he was probably looking over me to her but a girl can dream 😂

So yeah that was my experience, like I said I know this all happened but the order might now be correct just because it’s all a little blurry and sooo much happened. This is everything I remember so there may be a few bits I’ve missed out but this is everything I remember :) xx

It sounds like you had such a cool time! xx

#spoilers!!!!#submission #submit to me!#bbc special 2017

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televinita · 7 years

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Zoo 3x08

♫ If you’re looking for truth, don’t come looking for me ♫

-- Echosmith, “Safest Place”

And if you are looking for me, I will be over here playing Mitch's new theme song on repeat while you read.

But first:

WELL ALL RIGHT THEN. Abigail found the secret passcode to earning my wrath, and it's called "emotionally torturing Jackson about his family and failure to save them and/or being responsible for their deaths" (LISTEN ZOO I know you don't know this but I am still pretty emotionally compromised about The O.C. and Ryan's savior complex and the number it did on his head after a certain fiery car accident of his own, so I don't think now is the best time to prod this wound.)

I'm not saying I can't use this footage of Jackson strung up by his wrists, or that I didn't feast like a tiger upon the spoils of said emotional torture, just that.......actually on second thought I can't remember why I came to this review complaining.

(Also wow I really enjoy the part where Jackson started to snap out of Zen mode when he heard she'd compromised Mitch, and him desperately trying to talk Mitch out of Duncan mode. I still do not know quite how to articulate what it is that delights me about their relationship to each other, but Jackson's side of it was on full display)

Alpha Ship

Keep you far, keep you far from what I know You'll be fine, you'll be fine, just don't look closely now

First of all,

"Aunt Jamie can't really hold her liquor" OMG. I'll take "things that definitely still happen in the AU where Mitch and Jamie had a life together" for $200, Alex. (that quote in some context, at least. maybe not the two-man abduction carry)

Anyway I am just gonna be over here making high pitched squeals about Mitch smoothing her hair out of her face and everything else about these 4 seconds before Max starts talking, because I kinda feel like this is as close to an aftermath-of-rescue with them in these positions as we're going to get this year, and I would like to to wring every drop of visible Caring I can out of it.

"If the team finds out what I've done, I will lose everything. I'll lose Clem -- Jamie -- everything."

Well that hurt me good and deep. Can someone please call all the ambulances? My heart is under attack.

He has a fair point to be worried about: even if they understand, how would they in good conscience be able to keep him around if they don't know what he can do as Mr. Duncan, or how Mr. Duncan takes over? How can they be sure of their own safety alone with him, given how the biodrive might affect things?

On bright side: I forgot I had seen the kiss in this episode early, so that was a bolt out of the blue of PURE UNADULTERATED SHIPPY JOY when my eyeballs encountered it after seeing the context of Mitch being Sketchy As Heck and deserving none of Jamie's wholly sincere reassurance*, but desperate for it anyway. I choose to believe he was on the verge of spilling the beans at that point, but maybe not quite all the way there until the kiss sealed it.

*you are hereby forgiven for the Reiden Tower lies

Morgan & Morgan

I love Squirrelly!Mitch and I loved everything about him and Max working together and accidentally almost having some heart to hearts. Especially Max The Number One Mitch/Jamie Shipper giving him advice that Mitch actually takes about coming clean (or tries to take; thanks for being both the solution to and the cause of all our ship problems today, Max!).

The temporary blindness side effect was my favorite part, especially his insistence on hiding it when Jamie needed an actual airplane-crashing scenario to be distracted enough for only moderate concern at his short-circuiting and Max's oddly eager intervention (honestly, at a certain point he might as well have been hopping along singing "We're off on a secret mission!"). I enjoyed the humorous elements, but would not have opposed a multi-episode arc for the more serious, if this show had made room for it.

Bizarro Alpha Ship

Lies unfolding, cover your eyes

I've remained pretty neutral on the whole Duncan Reveal thing, and I think the reason is: listen, if you want to give me two Billy Burke characters at the same time on one show, then that... well, let's just say this is a fair imitation of the list of Billy Burke characters I have scoured the far corners of the internet, libraries and streaming video sites to enjoy.

But. THE ENDING. 100% agree with empress-of-snark's assessment:

I’ve never really wanted to see one of my otp’s beating each other up, but like…. I get it now. There was something immensely satisfying about seeing Jamie elbowing/kicking Mitch in the face, and I don’t understand but I enjoyed it (probably cause it wasn’t really him technically, but).

I also really enjoy when he first turns around with that eerie, dead-eyed stare (oh hey Gary Matheson redux) and she realizes who he is. This is ONE thing I'll admit sci fi does well -- the mind control / body takeover trope. I delighted in this exact same thing once on Under the Dome’s third season. There is nothing more chilling than seeing a character you would have sworn on your life would never harm their significant other be prepared to do exactly that, with no off switch. It's a much better experience as a viewer to know that it’s beyond their control than to find out they are actually human monsters, though.

And it's an even better experience when Jamie just steamrollers over any unhelpful emotions she's about to have with the steely resolve of Fine, It's A Beautiful Day To Kick Your Ass, and suddenly I'm wondering how low-prole it would be to edit and remix this fight with a subtle backing of "Move, Bitch." (why is the chorus of this song always relevant to my interests)

In other words: all fear and trust and betrayal issues can take a backseat for now because Jamie has one job right now, and I love that she has enough confidence and skill to know she can go through him if she has to.

Odds and Ends

I sat through Logan's entire waste of screen time in order not to lose my understanding-the-plot momentum, and so far I regret that decision.

Okay fine the Kenyatta family spooning was pretty adorbs.

Max trying to use the L word = aces

Out of all of AI Logan's comments, "I have an unfortunate announcement" is my very favorite. I want to use that all the time. Why isn't easy embedding of sound clips a thing.

Jackson attempting to strangle Abigail with his legs? Kinda workin' for me.

I think my favorite thing about Max and the Summoning Rod is that it's very much like the things Mitch ran Jackson through last year. Not so fun to be the guinea pig getting told to buck up, is it?

Should it concern me that I didn't even realize Clem was absent (off in Tankland) until they mentioned her?

Overall: minus Logan's non-AI scenes, WHAT A FUN AND WILD RIDE THIS WAS. By far the highest quality-per-minute density of the season for me. Superb sister episode to Howler Sloth.

I've had so much fun skipping back through it and watching the characters run around*, I keep legit forgetting the plane is going crazy because there is an octopus with snake legs (or something) they had to hack to death. There is so much IN this episode I can't possibly cover it all. It feels like lasted 900 years in a good way.

*or in the Morgans' case, sometimes, remain calm and blissfully unaware while the women nearly die following the Bitches Get Stuff Done model; the juxtaposition between the two drastically different panic levels cracks me up every time.

I have already watched a few minutes into episode 9 because that was a WTF cliffhanger, but I think this is as far as I am gonna get before next new episode.

#cbs zoo comeback project #I kept thinking of more things I was happy about so it got long #honestly I could write more if I had the time and maybe gifsets to split it between

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brandoncarlo · 7 years

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ohh i need to hear about auston/boyle!

Basically okay i’ll try to give you the run down. this is like. elaborate polyamory so try to keep up hahah.

so when boyle kind of joins the auston/matt/mitch show he kind of, takes Auston under his wing, lets him top matt a little while Boyle tells him what to do. and it’s so much fun for Auston, and the more they do it the more attached get to Brian. and listen brian is a big grump and has walls up that are a mile thick so he’s not really about it as Auston starts trying to like be his friend. He’s kind of like “what do yo think you’re doing rookie?” and Auston is like “??? being nice” so Brian is like “what we do here and what we do in the bedroom are different” and Auston is all defiant, like “Why? because he doesn’t get it.

Auston starts to get a little pissed I think, watching the way Brian is with matt. Because brian and matt have known each other for going on 6 years now, so matt’s found his way through Brian’s walls, just with time and patience and of course crying with brian’s dick down his throat. but whatever. so Auston watches the way Brian will come p behind matt to talk to him and put a hand on his lower back, or how to get Matt’s attention brian will wrap his arm around his shoulders or waist. and he’s not mad or has any negative feelings towards Matt he’s just a little hurt, that Brian says they’re so different but he’s so touchy and close with Matt anyway.

“He just needs time” Matt tells auston when Auston comes to him with this, “i’ve known him since I was a rookie, you just met him, he’s a private guy, he’s not super romantic, it takes time.” So Auston is basically like “Okay, so i’ll just wait then.” So matt kisses him because auston is so good and determined and hea cts all cool and stuff but he really is such a softy and Matt doesn’t want him to get hurt but he also knows he can’t tell him to do shit.

So Auston stays sturdy, shows brian that hey you don’t have to date me or even like me but we’re teammates and here i’m not leaving your side. I think brian thinks it’s kind of annoying at first and he kind of is like “how do i get him to leave me alone” and matt gives him a look like “just be a fucking nice guy wtf” and brian’s like “i am nice,”

and Auston is stubborn as fuck and just sticks around and brian starts to like...he gets it okay? he gets why everyone thinks this kid is best thing in the world..he doesn’t agree he just gets it, that’s all. So he tries being “nice” like Matt suggested, hangs out with Auston a little more, gives him some of the things he wnats more often. And Auston is just....he tries so hard to be cool around brian, seem just as aloof as brian is. mitch teases him all the time about being sooo lovey dovey around brian and it makse Auston flush and embarrassed. and Brian starts to love the way Auston is so easily rattled and yet puts ona brave face, it’s something he can respect about someone.

So it takes time but eventually brian pulls auston aside and is like “fine rookie, we’ll do this, but no pet names, no PDA, and i’m not bottoming for you ever.” and he says it in his best no nonsense voice but Auston just slowly starts to beam at him and god...he’s dating a rookie, but he’s already said it and Auston looks so happy and is immediately hugging him. it breaks the no PDA rule but Brian hugs back because...well they’re doing this thing now so he has to.

and it’s jsut Auston and his big grumpy boyfriend who’s a little hard to read emotionally but just. they’re really good together. they’re godo together like he’s good with matt and mitch. and they still all get to do their foursome thing and while brian and mitch kind of clash sometimes, it’s fun to watch. and Auston gets brian to cuddle with him an dkiss him and say nice things to him. and it’s just the best.

#the big boys and mitch #rpf #fic #there's so much more but god i'm in love wit hthis #Anonymous

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thankguard · 7 years

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RECAP: OUR TOP 50 AUSTRALIAN HIP-HOP/R&B TRACKS OF 2016

2016 was the year that this scene was finally accepted by mainstream media outlets, played regularly on Triple J and given the opportunity to throw mad rap events at some of the countries’ best live music venues. The number of local rap: artists, releases, managers, parties, radio shows, even blogs exploded too. MANU CROOKS was put on BEATS1 rotation & posted on The FADER. SAMPA THE GREAT racked up over half a million streams on “BLUE BOSS”. BARO blurred cultural/sonic boundaries. TKAY MAIDZA dropped a huge album + landed that KILLER MIKE collab. MIDAS.GOLD, CULT SHOTTA, BIG SKEEZ, I AM D, NICO GHOST & SAVOUR THE RATIONS all dominated live-stages across the country. The GREMLNS, PLAYBACK 808, 1 HUNNID RECORDS & TREXON WAVE showed us the future. These squads are all barely out of high-school, have a strong African heritage and are blowing up against the odds. Almost all of the above was soundtracked by producers: DOPAMINE, MIRACLE, JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS, MITCH GRUANKE & HARVEY who don’t get enough credit. JUNOR launched his AUD$ radio show on SYN which is legit. The PROPHECY BOYZ launched SAUCE - a new brand that will probs do huge things in 2K17. RARE FLOW TV, provided an essential piece-to-the-puzzle, bringing this all to life in quality music videos. Australian rap music is at an all time high. But tbh, it’s going to take another miracle to push it any further. Now that there’s money to be made here, cashed-up copy-cat rappers/labels/magazines/venues with no imagination will find a way to suck the life out of your music for a quick profit. Historically, this has happened many times over, preventing Australians from truly impacting music culture on a global scale. WTF is the diff between us and: Canada, England or America? Terrible artists will succeed if you let them. Donald Trump was elected president. We’re always a stones-throw away from making the next generation of AUS rap fans (and the rest of the world) cringe at us. Question everyone. Even THANK GUARD. Oh, btw. This blog still doesn’t make money. Here’s 50 songs that inspired us to keep hustling in 2016 in between dem long-ass shifts. 50. “VIEWS UP” - NYUON (MELB)

NYUON - an essential character in the MELB rap scene - stretches out the parameters of his sound a little more with each release. “VIEWS UP” saw him lean back towards centre after the experimentally hazy, lilting vibe of his ’15 BYMYSELF tape. With the help of producer ROOKIEPRO he pooled that self-effacing, conscious rap-swagger into his most polished track do-date. 49. “SORROWS” - BLESSED (SYD)

Taking cues from CUDI, UK alternative-pop and their own minds, BLESSED managed to instantly stand out from the rest of the trap-heavy SYD scene last year. Their output in ‘16 was super consistent, and “SORROWS” (our fav) has already amassed over 127K plays on Soundcloud. Early days, but their potential for global appeal is already proven. 48. “I.D.C.A” - 18K (BRIS)

“I.D.C.A” gives you a real wow moment the second those bars come in. 18K’s on that: modern-day BONE,THUGZ & HARMONY/vaguely MIGOS ATL, super-quick flow. His beats are perfect too. Hard hitting, modern trap sounds AND a hint of like CLAMS CASINO cloud-rap as well. 47. “30 DAYS” - DENNIS (MELB)

Mysterious producer/singer DENNIS dropped this one to no reception whatsoever. The mastering isn’t professional, but the song itself and the man’s vocals are world class. You gotta pump the volume ride it to the peak for full-effect fam. Like some new BON IVER shit without the cringe, pretty sure this came out first too. 46. “PRESSURE (ft. JACE XL)” - BILLY DAVIS (MELB)

BILLY DAVIS & JACE XL (RYTHYM SECTION) are both heavily associated with THE OPERATIVES (who monopolised vibes in MELB the last decade). JACE shows off his life-changing soul crooning over some classic BILLY DAVIS instrumentation. This would be a lot higher if it were more relevant to our needs. 45. “NO MORE” - DEEVILLA (SYD)

With this track alone, SYDNEY-based DEEVILLA proved he can write the type of song this scene needs. His flow, lyrics and overall mood on “NO MORE” summed up 2016 perfectly in terms of music & vibe. FLIP TRILL’s production on this one did all the above and more. 44. “RUN UP (ft. FLYBOII & L.U.I)” - LIL SPACELY (SYD)

Got the vibe that BLACK DANNA head honcho SPACELY had a tough 2016. But, being an essential SYDNEY rap-character that he is, the dude still managed to drop some of the livest AUS rap tracks of 2016. On “RUN UP”, he took the chunky, horn-filled instrumental from FAT JOE and REMY MA’s “ALL THE WAY UP”, puffed out his chest, and along with a couple talented homies delivered a growling, arrogant battle track that signalled his readiness to take his music national. He’s already dropped several tracks in ’17. Stay woke. 43. “FIRE” - SQUIDGENINI (MELB)

SQUIDGENINI a.k.a Bella, is one of Melbourne’s better-kept secrets right now. She’s been honing her craft for some time: playing in bands, producing solo tracks and supporting huge artists. “FIRE”, one of her only releases in 2016, instantly put her on our radar. This highly ambitious track features no-bullshit lyrisicm, eccentric production and some straight up vocal-fire. 42. “NAH BRUH, THIS IS WAGE GANG!” - VEENO (SYD)

When BABY VEENO dropped this insane freestyle in October it was criminally over-looked by many (including us). Choosing YOUNG THUG’S timeless “SEE YOU” beat from that G.O.A.T RICH GANG tape proved to us that the man has taste. The ensuing bars instilled visions of VEENO becoming SYDNEY’s trap-SKEPTA in ’17. 41. “CLAP BACK” - SAVOUR THE RATIONS (SYD)

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SAVOUR THE RATIONS were one of the most influential, pro-active and entertaining AUSTRALIAN rap crews of 2016 (especially towards the end). KWAME, DOMBA, JAYJAY ASSASSIN, GYBRYLLAH SHYNE & RAJ MAHAL made their biggest moves via videos/live performances. “CLAP BACK” which was dropped on Jan 2nd, 2016 showed the boys doing their ting for their own entertainment. This year they’ll be doing it for thousands no doubt. 40. “BEST FRIEND (YOUNG THUG REMIX)” - BIG SKEEZ (SYD)

This was probably the local track we played most last year. BIG SKEEZ really stood out in ‘16 for his song-writing hustle & originality (highlighted on his S.A.T.T mixtape). Remixing such a familiar, iconic song allowed SKEEZ to let loose in the booth more than ever before, resulting in 3:14 of explosive, feverish trap-fury filled with icy-cold local references/flips. 39. “ALIVE REMIX (ft. BARO & CAZEAUX O.S.L.O)” - ESESE (MELB)

Couldn’t think of a more suitable 2016 MELBOURNE summer-rap anthem than this BARO remix if I tried. It feature local pillars: CAEZEUX O.S.L.O, SKOMES and the ESESE crew - and oozes those heavenly FITZROY day-party vibes. Hearing HENOQ and O.S.L.O both spit new-gen AUS boom-bap masterpieces in rapid succession would’ve brought a tear to the eye of every true BURN-CITY rap-fan this year. 38. “NO MORALS (ft. $KINNY DOM)” - BLACK NAPOLEON (WA)

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On “NO MORALS”, BLACK NAPOLEON brought equal parts: slow, deliberate and estatic D double E style booth raps - the kind you’d hear on some UK Pirate radio set to the table. LUCHII, another PERTH-based genius jumped into the mix sounding more like a 6K Gucci, nailing the perfect guest verse. The CAMERON PARK directed-visuals for this one featured no guns, knives or punches thrown, but it still stands as one of the most violent local vids of ’16. #HOMEBAKED. 37. “FUCK THE JUDGE (ft. REMI)” - BARO (MELB)

When BARO dropped the second taste of his soon-TBR JPYNTK tape about 6 months ago, the world was torn in half by the racial violence sweeping the US. It was literally with you everywhere you went, no matter ur skin colour. “FUCK THE JUDGE”, which was released at the very hight of this chaos featured inspired verses from REMI + BARO and was accompanied by the statement: “They're killing my people. They're killing PEOPLE.” The song itself also made another (less important statement) about BARO’s unflinching confidence as a dude/rapper. It was his first absolute crystal clear “fuck u” to industry/fan expectations - a sign that he might be giving the typical AUS rap-sound a much needed kick up-the-butt in 2017. 36. “POTENTIAL (I SEE)” - LORD LEVI (MELB)

When it comes to MELB underground anthems in 2016, LORD LEVI’s “POTENTIAL (I SEE)” is practically unrivalled. The hook, flow and production on this one truly encapsulates the rise of the BURN-CITY outer-suburb high-school trap scene in 2016. LEVI and the GREMLN squad built a dedicated following last year on the back of songs like this. Trek thru any BURN-CITY suburb and “I SEE POTENTIAL” follows u through the streets. 35. “FLEX MODE” - ERIK SANDERS (BRIS)

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Brisbane’s ERIK SANDERS blew up out of nowhere last year on the back of several highly-polished, US-influence nu-trap singles. “FLEX MODE” bursts out of the gate with a series of auto-tune inflected bars that twist-and-turn, merging multitudes of impressive melodies in quick succession. This one gets real wild at the end too. 34. “RIDE (ft. REZT)” - LUCHII (WA)

LUCHII has always struck us as an interesting character, but we still slept on the man in ’16. When he dropped “RIDE” like a month ago, we swore to stay woke on the PERTH creative forevermore. This one rides an island trap wave that reminded us of CHILDISH GAMBINO’s “CALIFORNIA” and MAC MILLERS new stuff, but it also hits on something completely new. The vocals reference ATL rhythms/tones AND something else, which MUST have been born in a cloud of green smoke on one of those pristine PERTH beaches. 33. “PULL UP (ft. CIDI, LORD BRAVO, DUT BOL & RANDOLPH)” - BONKI CHOL (ADEL)

In 2016, the TREXON WAVE squad was our guilty pleasure. We legit found ourselves rinsing their proficiently rugged trap cuts more than CHANCE or FRANK. “PULL UP” is the song that started the whole affair. I remember being high af on a Tuesday at like 2PM about 8 months ago just blasting this enchanting MIGOS-style cut on my speakers for an hour straight. Jut listen to BONKI CHOI and homies: CIDI, LORD BRAVO, DUT BOL, RANDOLPH bring the sauce one time. They all flaunt separate styles, personalities and lyrical tendencies on this one, but their skills/delivery are at 100 throughout. 32. “HOW U FEEL” - NICO GHOST (MELB)

Close your eyes and “HOW U FEEL” will take you to a dark, nondescript club setting. Smoke settles in over those eerie trap bells - the calm before the storm. That amazing harpsichord removes any sense of time/location. Your mind is finally empty. Nico spits that FB generation mantra: “I couldn’t really give a fuck how you feel”, lulling you into a false sense of security before ruining your life with intensity. NICO’s 2016 was pretty-much dominated by his wild live-show. But in between sets he found the time to gift us with this the premiere for this one. Was a huge step forward for us. The man’s legit. 31. “MONSTER TRUCK” - ALLDAY (MELB)

ALLDAY is huge - has been for years now. In 2016, he went through a bit of a sonic evolution and we fucked with it heavy. “MONSTER TRUCK” is a song that pushed Australian rap to places in the world it rarely reaches. This one features earnest lyrics, euphoric melodies and a skin-tight flow - years of work/experience all coming together. ALLDAY made some serious global waves last year as unique voice in the world of post-OVO rap music. 30. “LIONA” - NASTY MARS (MELB)

On “LIONA”, future-star NASTY MARS took warm, wavy, lo-fi production ripped straight from a SOULECTION cassette and crafted his own rap/soul-experiment around the peaks and flows of the beat. Although, hardly representative of this guy’s unreleased material, live show and overall position in the AUSTRALIAN rap/soul scene - “LIONA” still managed to take on a life of it’s own… just suss the comments. 29. “BLOOD THICKER THAN WATER” - LUTHER (BRIS)

One of BRISBANE’s most charismatic up-and-comers, LUTHER teamed up with AUS production royalty JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS early last year for a YOUNG THUG/LIL WAYNE style cut that blew us away. The production bangs. LUTHER’s wild, warbling trap-jitterings are fierce, crunchy and at times hilarious. Everything you want in a track like this. The dude is associated with the WORLDWIDE BOYS who will blow up this year. 28. “THIRSTY” - ANFA ROSE (SYD)

“THIRSTY” came last year amidst a never-ending avalanche of consistently jaw-dropping ANFA ROSE & DOPAMINE joint-efforts. Everything on this one from the samples, to ROSE’s perfectly structured verses - to those 808 snares cutting thru your entire being - to the lyrics enforced our theory that these dudes aren’t human. They are computer programs or clones or holograms or something. 27. “MARIA MARIA” - GEEK, CHARLES X & SELASIE WUSSAH (SYD)

This one - easily top 3 most iconic “THANK GUARD” anthems in our entire history. Seeing it live at one of our BONEY parties inspired some of the most emotional dabs ever dabbed. When it dropped back in Jan, it brought out some of our best writing ever too… so I’m just gonna quote myself here.  “On the most polished THANK GUARD Premiere to-date, a dynamic trio of epileptic acid-rappers exchange contrasting melodic flows - in a bid to win a Spanish bae’s heart.” If you don’t know GEEK, CHARLES X (of CULT SHOTTA) or SELASIE WUSSAH by now we don’t trust u. 26. “1 3 1 6” - E L K (ADL)

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Adelaide teen E L K bursted onto the scene with last year with “TUTEN KARMEN”, which would have easily made the top 10 if he didn’t remove it from SC. “1 3 1 6”, a different (but equally impressive) joint also blew us away. This one brings guys like MF DOOM & JAY ELECTRONICA to mind instantly, but channeled thru the purity of a fresh, young mind with the voice of a rap-god. In 2016 alone, E L K and his PLAYBACK 808 crew went from bedroom rappers, to the creators of a legit AUS rap movement that looks poised to climb mountains in 2017. 25. “FEELING GOOD FEELING GREAT” - TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI (WA)

2 months ago, FourAM head-honcho TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI teamed up with producer SNOWEE for a sun-drenched 6K anthem. Some rare RAE SCHREMMURD vibes (if they were slightly more sober). Truly peaks at the end. TOYOTOMI is another young dude whose influence on the culture went beyond rapping last year. From short films, events to supporting those around him - this kid did it all in 2016. 24. “DOPER THAN DOPE (MACHINEDRUM REMIX)” - SK SIMEON (MELB)

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One of AUSTRALIA’s best rhythmic-vocalists had a huge 2016. SK SIMEON has been a worldwide reggae force for a minute now. Born in Uganda, recorded his first song at a studio in Dandenong… But last year “DOPE THAN DOPE” - one of his best tracks to-date was remixed by MACHINEDRUM. This version (which sounds good anywhere) took SK’s insane rapid-fire singing and infectious tongue-in-cheek delivery to dance-floors around the world. 23. “NULIFE” - MAIA (BRIS)

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BRISBANE neo-neo-soul singer/producer MAÏA returned to form in 2016 with her nostalgic, intimate “LOFI” Mixtape. “NULIFE” - a definite standout will swallow you up whole in a blanket of warm, jazzy melodies and pulsating rimshots. Coming very early in the year, this track really pre-empted a lot of trends that are dominating American music culture as we speak. We predict huge things for MAIA in 2017. 22. “$AUCE” - GREMLNS (MELB)

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2016 was the year of the GREMLN in the suburbs of MELB. No other underground AUS rap squad made more of an impact than these guys in the last 12 months. This “SAUCE” video came about after months of anticipation and was defs worth the wait. It showed the GREMSQUAD more polished-than-ever, a bunch of real young talents standing at the crossroads between street-fame and industry acceptance. The video itself is like a cross between an old-school Tarantino movie and a London GRIME vid, but set in some unmistakably murky Burn-city graffiti spots. 21. “BERETTA” - MATT BLACK (SYD)

SYDNEY-based vocalist MATT BLACK exploded out of the blocks last year with a series of MIRACLE/DOPAMINE produced R&B/SOUL singles - the type big labels dream about every night. “BERETTA” is the whole package. A high-concept, slow-burning, futuristic love-song which cleverly compares a lover to a pistol. Two things that (depending on the circumstances) can save you or destroy you, make u feel like a man or a mouse. 20. “EVERYDAY” - DREAM$TEAM (ADEL)

So much love for duo’s with vastly different voices. When you listen to a DREAM$TEAM you got no time for boredom. You’ve got CHARLTON on the first verse who always goes in with this SHAKE070-style flow and A-grade emotionally-charged lyricism, then the other G comes in riding world-class auto-tune vibes that sit somewhere between YACHTY & TRAVI$ SCOTT. The production, which features ZAYTOVEN-style piano, is the opposite of corny… bounces hard & leaves plenty of room for vocals. These guys are insanely talented for their age-bracket. Anythings possible for them in 2017 19. “TENNIES” - TKAY MAIDZA (ADEL)

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TKAY MAIDZA, easily one of the most successful artists on this list had a huge 2016. She was spun on SKRILLEX’s OWSLA radio show, played a tonne of festivals in AUS & FRANCE, but most importantly dropped a huge studio album, TKAY, which featured guest verse from KILLER MIKE (Run The Jewels). “TENNIES” was our favourite track from the album, because it combined her signature worldly sugar-rap with some hella uplifting footwork vibes. How often is boundary-pushing music this much fun? 18. “LAPUTA (TAYLOR MCFERRIN REMIX ft. ANDERSON PAAK)” - HIATUS KAIYOTE (MELB)

The one and only MELB-based GRAMMY-nominated future-soul quartet that we probs should have posted by now had to have a presence on this list, at least to show you all what’s possible. Their second album “CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON” is a must listen, but was released waybach in 2015. Last year, TAYLOR MCFERRIN recruited ANDERSON PAAK to rework standout single “LAPUTA” for a remix EP. The results speak for themselves. 17. “PEACEWALKER” - GALLU$, RAIDER KING (BRIS)

GALLU$ was real cult-force down in BRISBANE last year. His influence on the scene transcended his recordings - a huge statement considering the quality of songs like “PEACEWALKER”. This one features some heavy statements screamed with a natural Aussie accent over “GLASSSS” by PYRMDPLAZA.   “THIS INDUSTRY’S FAKE & THE PEOPLE TALK BULLSHIT // THAT SOUNDS PRETTY OBVIOUS // SO WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? // QUESTIONING MY OWN MUSIC LIKE // EVERY LINE THAT I WRITE // CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL STUPID.” - nuff said. 16. “ALL OF MI LIFE (MACHINEDRUM REMIX)” - YAW FASO (MELB)

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2016 was a year where artists like POPCAAN & J HUS were getting love on THE FADER + DRAKE/BIEBER/SKRILLEX were jacking sounds from the Caribbean and breaking billboard records. When our own YAW FASO shared this MACHINEDRUM remix of his sun-drenched single “ALL OF MI LIFE” the timing was perfect, but as the hook declares, he wasn’t riding any trends. Reggae is one of the few genres that makes you smile, dance and forget about all your issues. This song, bursting with: FASO’s highly motivational reggae mantras, sugary buildups and super-refreshing production does all the above. 15. “IDK” - GILL BATES (BRIS)

With his LESS STRESS, MORE SUCCESS EP, GILL BATES showed a whole new side of himself to the world in 2016. Standout cut “IDK” took the catchier side of AUS rap into unknown territory: substance & self-awareness. Above all tho, it’s just a great song. That larger-than-life JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS production grabs you from 0:01… GILL’s opening line “BEEN DROWNING MY SORROWS // BOTTLE AFTER BOTTLE” takes you into his psyche… Then GILL & JAMES drag you deeper and deeper into darkness before flipping things with a bittersweet xylophone-driven hook. A world-class highlight from one of the best local releases in 2016. 14. “NEVER BEEN” - TYRØNE (SYD)

In the last 12 months, few local artists worked harder than TYRØNE. The SYDNEY rapper/producer legit dropped a full EP Trilogy, brimming with GOAT Australian rap lyricism. Song, after song the guy managed to craft a unique aesthetic for himself and his music – darkness that isn’t fake. “NEVER BEEN”, a real standout encapsulates this dedication to his craft more than any other. That skin-tight baritone flow just doesn’t stop on this one. “I SAY LIFE IS EVERYTHING YOU MAKE IT // ONE THING DAMN RIGHT I AIN’T NEVER BEEN FAKE BITCH” 13. “HIT EM” - I AM D (BRIS)

BRISBANE one-man-movement I AM D flew way under our radar until we heard this one. “HIT EM” showcased D’s near iconic nu-AUSSIE rap tone, through a stream of SKEPTA-like vocal punches that explained every move he would make in the local scene. Little did we know at the time, but he actually went on to achieve everything he rapped on this track. In a matter of months after its release: he got signed to a major label, dropped a hugely successful EP, landed a national tour and stamped his influence on the local culture. 12. “NO FATIGUE (ft. GEEK & SELASIE WUSSAH)” - CULT SHØTTA (SYD)

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The video for “NO FATIGUE” really set the tone for CULT SHØTTA season in 2016. They were always a truly unique presence in the Australian rap game, but on this track, they toned things down, unleashing line-after-line of vibrant acid-raps over a relatively sparse bass-driven trap beat. As per usual, CHARLES X, GEEK & SELASIE WUSSAH each brought their A-game, showing off vastly different styles/personas, each challenging different “AUSTRALIAN RAP” taboos in the process. It also marked the beginning of director RUFFY’s much-needed string of ambitious video-work that helped elevate many-a local rapper last year. 11. “FOR GOOD (ft. SAMPA THE GREAT)” - REMI (MELB)

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Couldn’t think of a better ’16 feel-good Aus-rap summer anthem than REMI and SAMPA’s “FOR GOOD” if I tried. When your air-con breaks on a 35 degree day, this song could actually save ur life. The production, hook and overall vibe really feels like a classic Triple J anthem, the type that soundtracked our lives. But, obviously everything has been re-worked for the next-generation, creating a crisper, more sonically diverse hit than we’re used to. 10. “EXISTENTIALITY” - OJIKAE (MELB)

“EXISTENTIALITY” is a lovesick vision that’s refreshingly different from the over-saturated BILLBOARD TOP 100-style R&B that the likes of TORY LANEZ and BRYSON TILLER put out. It was also the very first track released by 17 y.o VCE student Matt Cicero, which blew us away immediately last JULY. The guy wrote something original, produced the track himself and whipped out a spine-tingling vocal performance that singlehandedly dragged his ass all the way to the top 10 of this list. 9. “ASSUMPTIONS” - MANU CROOKS (SYD)

“ASSUMPTIONS” was premiered on ZANE LOWE’s BEATS1RADIO show… got our mag a global shoutout AND tore stages apart across the country in 2016. We heard more sides of Sydney game-changer MANU CROOKS than ever before on this one. With help from production masterminds DOPAMINE & MIRACLE, CROOKS departed from them brooding Toronto vibes to show Australia & the world that he can can TURN UP like the best of them. 8. “CALL ME” - DEVARN (MELB)

This song is what THANK GUARD is all about. Sonically, it’s right up our alley… but more importantly it came from a creative young dude who: thinks for himself and punches well-above his weight considering the resources/money some people on this list have at their disposal. It also tells a story we have witnessed for years now…  “ALL OF MY N*GGAS THEY WORK IN THE SUN // WAITING FOR LABELS TO HIT UP THEY PHONE // I WANT SOME MONEY TO GET ME A PHONE” Few rappers can get you on their side like Melbourne’s DEVARN. His vocals are earnest, intimate - when he raps, it feels like he’s letting you into his world. He doesn’t slur his words, or smother them in auto-tune either - you can hear every word the man is saying. Also, huge props for referencing some of our fav underground anthems >> SAUCE (GREMLNS) >> MOOSHAMAD // I HAD A DREAM WE GON’ MAKE IT. Damn. 7. “000000” - MIDAS.GOLD (BRIS)

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Last year, Brisbane’s MIDAS.GOLD elevated himself to the Mount Rushmore of this new-wave. Of all the wild trap releases & intimate soul-searching cuts on his huge FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH EP, “000000” had the biggest impact on the scene. It dropped all the way back in JANUARY when local rappers were all bumping FUTURE & YOUNG THUG 24/7, but still didn’t truly believe that an Aussie could incorporate these sounds into their music so convincingly. MIDAS truly made this quality JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS/MO LIASON beat his bitch from 0:01, before abruptly taking the track down a notch in its last third, flipping the beat and creating a Schoolboy Q-esque bleary-eyed, kushed-out vibe that eased the track out from its original energy. 6. “WHIP IT” - BIG SKEEZ

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We’ve been huge supporters of BIG SKEEZ for a long time. Every track he dropped in 2016 wreaked of originality in both vision and character. SKEEZ, a dude climbing his way up a ladder of: elegant email signatures, cut-throat managers and concrete industry rules, often collaborated with us thru a simple fb message - or just bumping into him in the city. This made us question the likelihood of his success to some extent, but when this video for “WHIP IT” dropped, it turned all our dreams into a reality. The WAVY BADMON, along with his SYDNEY crew absolutely owned the big screen, turning up like a pro to one of the standout tracks from his under-rated debut mixtape. Seeing this whole evolution transpire before our very eyes gave this CERNE STUDIOS production a real sentimental value for the whole THANK GUARD team. 5. “ABSURD” - ANFA ROSE (SYD)

ANFA ROSE and DOPAMINE’S magnum opus will make you cry like a Canadian watching Drake sing the national anthem. The silky smooth, “Absurd” is a beautifully executed blend of 808s, pianos and harmonies. When it comes to polish, no local track released in 2016 comes close to this one. DOPAMINE stripped back that instrumental, focusing on an ethereal and ominous beat with a chordal pattern that slides effortlessly from note to note. ROSE’s delicate melodies fuse perfectly with the instrumental and his lyrics, which are reminiscent of DRAKE’s odes to RIHANNA, or THE WEEKND’s odes to drugs. 4. “RUN IT (ft. LEVI, PHANTOM & KMALITH)” - MIKE WANG (MELB)

When low-key GREMLN MICHAEL WANG dropped this fire squad track all borders between Australia & America went up in flames. The MELBOURNE underground literally outshone the AUSTRALIAN i-Tunes charts. Nothing would make sense ever again. In terms of flow, lyricism and local impact… this was without a doubt one of the best Australian rap tracks released in 2016. WANG, LEVI, PHANTOM & KMALITH came out, guns blazing with their own jaw-dropping take on that MIGOS-style flow (and this was all before “BAD & BOUJEE” blew up). That little OVO-style hook/breakdown “I GOT BANDS…” really added a whole other dimension to the song too. Don’t even get me started on the message behind these lyrics and their relevancy to our scene, the city of MELBOURNE and the racial/cultural tensions often overlooked by most Australians. 3. “BLOWIN’ UP (ft. MIRACLE)” - MANU CROOKS (SYD)

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“BLOWIN UP” was MANU CROOKS flipping the switch and making a statement: his rise to success is about much more than bangerz. Being able to rap and record full-time is any local rapper’s dream and seeing the SYDNEY rapper get premiered on The FADER must have motivated thousands of Australian teenagers to keep hustling in 2016. Honestly, didn’t think someone from this new AUS rap-scene would make the pages of a mag like The FADER for at least another year. That stamp of approval means a lot. Manu’s tuned-up, magnetically charismatic vocals definitely stole the show on this one…Dude just seems to know exactly what to rap and when. But, none of this would have been possible without his equally talented bros: DOPAMINE & MIRACLE who both shined, bright as ever on this one.  DOPAMINE always knows just the right amount of syrupy autotune to sprinkle over his mates vocals & this beat speaks for itself. MIRACLE’S production and vocals contributions always help bring a track to the next-level. All 3 of these guys will no-doubt make even more Australian-rap history in 2017. 2. “WDUBI (ft. NASTY MARS & MARCUS)” - BARO (MELB)

When the mind of a black sheep is re-configured to entertain the mindless masses, an artist has reached their final frontier. BARO (NASTY MARS & MARCUS) did this last year with “WDUBI” - the first taste from his eagerly-awaited JPYNTK tape. On first encounter, it plays as the perfect Australian new-gen rap jam. But on further inspection, everything about it: the production, vocal stylings and somber sonic undertones expose it for the beautiful alien it really is. All three verses loosely acknowledge US 2K16 rap (CHANCE, GAMBINO etc), but overall this track really does’t follow the rules set by the American market at all - which is why we love it so much. That NIC MARTIN production plays a huge roll in this also. Something about those double-timed snares/claps and the tempo made this one feel so damn refreshing. We really played the fuck out of this one last year. THANK GUARD. Oh btw “AND IF WE HAVE A SON I THINK WE’LL NAME HIM STEVEN” - line O.T.Y 1. “BLUE BOSS” - SAMPA THE GREAT (SYD)

LMAO. In 2016, a lot of local bro’s hyped their shit like crazy. Walking around like the TUPAC reincarnate, talking smack online & sharing videos on FB 10 times a day… and SAMPA THE GREAT quietly drops a song that makes them all look foolish, raising her to instant-legend status. SAMPA is emotionally mature, intellectually elegant, socially conscious. Her words can fight wars or comfort a child. She is the type of person you’d want running for president, let alone running the local rap scene. “BLUE BOSS” is like a world-class 2K16 surprise rap-hit, but also feels timeless. Unlike kindred spirits NONAME & KAMAIYAH, SAMPA keeps her production and overall-vibe as earthy as possible, creating her own unique place in the rap-world. Considering the desperate need for more female rappers in this country, the quality of SAMPA’s vocals and her all-too-rare modest demeanour, we had to give “BLUE BOSS” the #1 spot. Posted by PAULINE HANSON

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lindafrancois · 6 years

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Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s 5:45AM, and I’m lying in bed with my eyes closed. I’m exhausted because I managed to have one of my recurring nightmares the previous night where I dreamed my bed was covered in spiders—this happens once every few months, especially when I’m overtired.

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

“ACK! I was supposed to call the dermatologist yesterday to schedule an appointment—it’s been on my to-do list for 10 days weighing me down and yet I can’t get myself to pick up the phone. Why am I so averse to talking to a human on a telephone? Just do it, idiot! Call them today at 9AM.

“Why the hell did I dream about spiders again last night? I have to write thousands of words today. And I have that awkward meeting planned stressing me out. OH **** I forgot to send my mom a mother’s day card! I did send her flowers. Is that enough? She loves cards. Can I express ship one in time? AHHHHH!

“Is that networking event I agreed to tonight or tomorrow night? Why did Past Steve commit Future Steve to that? I hate that guy! Wait, is today Wednesday? Sonofa, today is a training day at the gym too. Good luck finding time for that. Oh GOOD, I’m out of clean underwear. And the fridge is empty. And how do I have a pimple inside my nose? I would like to curl up into the fetal position and opt-out of all responsibilities today.”

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

What the inside of my brain looks like: take my crazy stream of conscious above and read it in the style of slam poetry, while a Tasmanian devil plays the bongos with no discernible rhythm in the background. He then eats the bongo and starts Irish step dancing. To salsa music. While setting off fireworks.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t seem to make any progress on anything, and yet I know making progress on stuff is the fastest path for me to escape this maniacal prison my brain has trapped me in!

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

I learned this philosophy from William H. McRaven, retired US Navy Admiral and author of the book Make Your Bed: how you do the little things will impact how you do the big things. And by starting with a simple little thing, it can help me build momentum and show myself that I do have control and can affect the outcome of things.

Sure, I don’t make my bed with military precision (sorry Admiral!)—I simply pull the covers up as neatly as I can, I put the pillows on the bed and make sure it looks presentable. This takes less than 2 minutes and gives me a quick win before I’ve even left the room.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Note: Comically, this is often the suggestion I get the most vitriol or controversy for. I’m going to ignore the argument of “this makes it easier for bed bugs Steve” or “I read that creative geniuses have messy beds and I’m unique and blah blah blah” or “nobody else sees my bed; why should I waste valuable time making it?” or “I get up early and my spouse is still asleep and thus I cannot make my bed.”

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

If you are vehemently opposed to making your bed (or there is a person still asleep in it!), pick another thing like cleaning up your room, cleaning out the sink, cleaning off your kitchen table, etc. as soon as you wake up to give yourself an early win. OR, just make your bed, take the win, and move on!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

But I’ll be damned if it’s not an actually important thing that falls by the wayside when life gets busy. And I imagine if you’re a mom or a dad, you have plenty of other people to care for, and caring for yourself is often at the bottom of the list.

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

But I’ll be damned if my teeth don’t feel great after a good floss. For whatever reason, flossing is something that I avoid, until I actually do it and realize “that wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I did that, I feel better.”

I like to think this primes my brain to tackle other undesirable tasks later on in the day. Flossing wasn’t bad, and I’m glad I did it. What about that other task I’ve been avoiding? I bet it’s not as bad as my dumb brain has built it up to be.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

WHY IT WORKS: They say dress for the role you want, not the one you have. And I don’t currently have a spacesuit. So I’m stuck with dressing like a more grown-up, put-together version of me. When I’m showered, shaved, shampooed, conditioned, and flossed, I just feel like a better human being worthy of some compassion and also a guy that can get things done.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

It’s a video I can put on that takes 5 minutes or less that makes me want to run through a brick wall. In lieu of a brick wall being readily available, it inspires me to start actually getting things done and getting closer to my goals.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

youtube

WHY IT WORKS: Motivation is a real thing. And when timed correctly, it can really help me get unstuck and get the ball rolling on a project or a good pump-up talk before hitting the gym. What I don’t do is force myself to watch 40 motivational videos and run out of time to exercise. This is neither productive nor helpful. And I know motivation wanes, so I use the motivation strategically to set myself up so that I don’t need motivation later.

Side note: please don’t get lost down a youtube rabbit hole—that’s how you end up watching 15 videos about baby goats. Not that this just happened to me. Have your go-to video that you watch and reminds you that you can get stuff done, and then go do it.

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

When life gets too busy, exercise is often the first thing to get thrown by the wayside. And I know that when I can’t get a workout in, I tend to eat like an idiot too, which makes things even worse.

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

I’m a big fan of the mentality: “do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” (Thanks, Teddy Roosevelt). And this protocol will allow you to diffuse bombs and apprehend fugitives snap out of a funk with a clear head and remind all the muscles in your body: “We’re doing fitness things today!”

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

WHY THIS WORKS: The 10-10-10 gets the blood circulating. It gets my muscle fibers firing. It gets my brain working. And that 10 minute walk can really clear my head. It allows me to get out of my head, stop worrying about the past and the future, and just focus on what I can do TODAY.

Unsurprisingly, I get my best ideas walking around, NOT sitting at my desk. And I know I’m not alone on that—this is borrowed from Steve Jobs, who held walking meetings instead of “sit in conference room” meetings.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

WHY THIS WORKS: When we get overwhelmed, it’s because our brains like to make Misty Mountains out of molehills. The “stuff” we have to do is nebulous, opaque, and scary. Until it gets broken down into steps.

And then it’s not so daunting. And once you can start to cross a thing or two off the list, or make meaningful progress on a project or activity, you come to the realization I come to every single time: I do have the time to do things. I need to say no to more things, I need to manage my time better, and the sooner I can get out of my head the faster I can be DONE.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

(Before you get offended at my self-talk here, I mean “idiot” in a joking, loving manner to remind myself that I’m probably overcomplicating things to the point of paralysis and I need to just slow way down. Feel free to use the term “nerf herder or “cotton-headed ninny muggins” instead.)

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

I’ve tried meditating for 20 minutes a day and kept it up for 60 days (I used Headspace, and I’m also a big fan of Calm). It was like herding cats, and it didn’t unlock the secrets of the cosmos. I did enjoy the Cosmos miniseries on Fox, but that doesn’t apply here.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

WHY THIS WORKS: I find big time value in reminding myself to breathe and just focus on the day I’m living. 5 minutes is enough for me to settle down and then I can go back to #5 (work on the very next step) of a project without being overwhelmed.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

In each of these instances, I’m an innocent bystander. Sure, video games are an active activity, but they can take over one’s life and contribute to overwhelm (I see you Fortnite), so I’ll put gaming in the “consumption” category.

If I’m overwhelmed, to borrow from Nate Green (who calls it “Nuclear Mode”), I recognize the things that are contributing to my overwhelm, especially the stuff that I can’t control—I see you political outrage on Facebook—and GET IT OUT OF MY LIFE.

I already don’t have any social media apps on my phone. I then use Freedom.to to block certain websites for the ENTIRE day. No more mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram. No tinfoil hat theories on Zero Hedge.

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

WHY THIS WORKS: Creating makes me happy, and it makes most humans happy. And yet, our default behavior is to consume because consuming is so much easier. So I remove the temptation of consumption by blocking sites and deleting apps, and emphasize creation—even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide to Mental Health, and if this is something you’re interested in please consider it!

Note: if you really struggle with depression/anxiety, speaking with a mental health professional could be a game-changing experience. Please do so as soon as you can!

WHY THIS WORKS: I used to be afraid to ask for help, assuming I had to know all the answers on my own. Or that people relied on me to be the happy-go-lucky person and I wasn’t allowed to be unhappy or stressed. And then I grew up.

Now I have no problem asking for help, saying “I don’t know” even if it makes me feel foolish, and I get to a solution MUCH faster!

I know with everything being online these days, it’s easy to spend a lot of time being friendly but not having actual deep conversations with people. This is something I have to work really hard on, as I’d much rather sit at home alone with a book all day and avoid people.

And yet, in most instances, when I’m with friends or loved ones, my day gets much better as a result. And thus, I prioritize saying YES. (Just not too much, so we don’t overload Future Steve.)

Overwhelmed? Do these 8 Things

Okay! This is my 8-step kickstart kickass strategy to dealing with overwhelm and anxiety.

Feel free to hijack these 8 things and the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, take these steps to get unstuck and back on track:

Get an early win

Quick hygiene fix

Watch a 5-minute motivational video

Do the 10-10-10 Protocol

Do the Very Next Thing

Breathe, idiot!

Consume less, produce more

Ask for help

Break this list in case of emergency! Write these down, print it out, design your own checklist and share it with me so I can add it here to the post, whatever you want to do!

You can do this!

I’d love to hear from you: how do you manage overwhelm, and what are the steps you take to get out of that mental quicksand?!