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lovebvni · 7 months

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hey!! shiv here!! you’re so spot on it’s scary really!! i feel like you tapped into my brain for the reading. Let’s break this down!!

1. just be is my motto. When everything fails, i just fall back to this. Nothing to get, nothing to do. Just be. Never fails me. So i’m happy to know i’m on the right path🥹

2. i want my void to be pink in colour🤭 and i have been feeling really good while doing pysch-k?? helps me accept the fact entirely that i’ll enter/wake up in the void.

3. I keep myself entertained lol!!! before i attempt to tap in the void i listen to a bunch of songs to feel light and brush off the nerves and thoughts! sometimes i even like to imagine myself safe cuddled up in bed lol (can u tell i’m deprived of physical touch lol)

4. I’m really shocked how you could see the childhood aspect too cause my earliest memory of my life is my parents fighting and my mom being really upset and i remember the helpless feeling lingering on (cause she’d just look at me and cry when i’d ask her what’s wrong) when i enter the void, i’m not saying i want the perfect parents but just parents that are sort of easy to be around. I really am not my actual self around them. I’m always holding my breath around them. I have accepted the fact that i’m not gonna be one of those kids that have a close and emotionally safe connection w their parents. It’s okay. I just don’t want to feel the need like i’m constantly walking on eggshells around them and my mom to be more independent. These are the tweaks i think you were referring to? i wasn’t thinking about this aspect a lot but i guess during the day, i still have this thought at the back of my mind and maybe that’s why you picked it up?

ALSO TRIGGER WARNING: SA!!

idk if it was this but i was assaulted as a child by one of the family members and i was in two minds if i should revise it! i was bitter for soooo long. Hated men, i even stopped listening to male artists for a while. (it’s so weird but the aftermath of what happened to me as a child is showing up now as an adult) but i am done w all of that. I have made my peace with it and as much as i hate how cliche this is gonna sound but the kind of person i have turned out to be, i wouldn’t want to change it just to be “perfect” so i won’t be revising it. I’m sorry if this upset you or anyone.

I hope i can enter the void soon and share my success story with you (please send good energy my way lol, it’s just the thought that counts really🤭🫶🏼)

Big big love to anyone and everyone reading this and going through just about anything in life. If it’s great then i only hope it’s greater for you and if it’s going absolutely shite then i hope it gets less shittier by the second.

and lastly, i think you are really really good! i would love to support your work (when i can afford it) for real! i have never had such a crazy accurate reading before. So thank you🥹 Hope you’re doing good!!!

hii shiv!!! i’m soooo happy ur reading was accurate n resonated a lot!!

when i first typed the word ‘void’ i saw it as a purple colour, vende why it’s purple in ur reading, then as i went on, the more i thought, he more pink it became. i’m pretty sure i got a visual of it too — it’s so pretty <3 like seriously, if u see me in ur void, im just looking!!!

and with ur sa, there may be something you’re still holding onto with that, or some cleansing that should to be done in ur sacral chakra. as someone who went through something similar, literally js imagining good sexual experiences with someone u love helps…. like a lot 😭😭

and i’m always sending positive energy to everyone i get readings too!! i trust n believe u will enter the void soon and it’s gonna be HELLA fun for u <3 i love u sm!!! have fun!! <3

#abyss .reviews #void state #manifesation #manifesting #manifestations #manifestation #law of manifestation #manifest

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littlemessyjessi · 4 years

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Sirius Black Name Headcanons: “Black Ice” Story Edition: Sirius Black x Juniper Potter

A/N: Hello, lovelies! Since I wrapped up the Siri and Juni story but I had several people ask for more SirixJuni, I figured we’d do a little bit of this. Still them but not necessarily another chappie, lol. Hope you enjoy!

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S: Smile

Everyone see Sirius’ infamous smirk but there are a fair few that actually see a genuine smile from him. However, one tried and true way to get him to smile is to just have him near when the Potter siblings start their bickering. He can’t help but laugh at James and Juni’s squabbling.

I: Idolized

Admittedly, he idolizes the Potters. He thinks they are the perfect family. They’re not of course because that’s an impossible concept. They have flaws like anyone else. But to Sirius, their pros far outweigh the cons. He’s hopelessly in love with Juni and James is his best mate. The Potters took him in when he had no where else to go. He honestly believes that the best thing that could ever happen to him would be marrying Juniper. For obvious reasons, of course but also because the Potters would be his in laws. He’s even seriously considered taking June’s last name instead of her taking his.

R: Rad

He literally thinks Juniper is the coolest person he’s ever met. Much to James’ dismay. Juni is just a total badass to him. He knows that she loves him but he also knows that whether she has a man or not has no baring on what she’ll do. If he’s down for the ride, then great. She’s there to share both of their victories and help each other through hardships. But if he knows that he were ever to step to her in a “you have to choose’ manner... he’d be fucking up. Juniper takes no shit and he fucking loves that about her.

I: Identical

He is 100% that boyfriend who will match his girlfriend. Ya’ll think I’m playing. He’s always stealing Juniper’s Ravenclaw jumpers. Always goes full on when she competes. Is 100% that boyfriend with his chest painted to match her costumes.

U: Unconditional

His love for the Potters is abundant and unconditional. Monty and Mia are the best parents he could ask for. James is his best mate. His brother. And Juniper is the love of his life.

S: Social

This bit is funny because when he was with his birth family he wasn’t very social at all. But at Hogwarts and at the Potters- he’s the life of the party. Because he’s comfortable. And he’s comfortable because he feels safe.

O: Obedient

For all his rebellious nature, Sirius really is a good guy. Also, he’d rather die than admit it but he does like being called a good boy. It’s likely something that stems from childhood trauma and it’s all usually tied to his animagus form with the Marauders but even so. However, if his temper gets the best of him and Juni just rubs her hand across his stomach and says some shit to him like, “Down, boy.” Lol, it’s on. Get’s him really riled up. And that cheeky witch will wink at him and say some shit like, “Be a good boy and I’ll give you a treat later.” James nearly vomits and of course bickering always ensues.

R: Razor Sharp

Nothing gets him going like watching Juni basically cut someone to ribbons with her quick wit. This boy, lol. His ass be over there smirking and checking her out. Just look at her like- what else that mouth do? He said it to her once and she sassed him to his actual knees. He’d never been so smitten.

I: Impish

Speaking of, he will pick a fight with Juniper sometimes just for attention when she gets too busy with school or skating. She’ll be ready to murder him and then she’ll realize and she just gives him cuddles. It’s all.

“Oh, I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to ignore you.”

“It’s ok, princess. All if forgiven when cuddles are given. I’m sorry for picking a fight.”

“I know, babyboy. I got you.”

The boy fucking turns to goo.

O: Open Minded

They’re honestly a pretty open minded couple. They’re willing to try just about anything with each other. The only thing Sirius will NOT do is impact. The thought of ever putting his hands on Juniper like that has literally caused him to have a panic attack. He just can’t. He’s told her that he was ok with her doing it to him. He was used to that. That had been a red flag and they worked through some of his unresolved issues after that. Eventually, they just decided that maybe that type of thing just wasn’t for them.

N: Nourishment

He literally melts every time Juni asks if he’s eaten. Juniper wil give him all the attention he wants. All the kisses and cuddles that this sweet touch deprived boy clearly needs and she’s all too happy to do so. But he knows that her love language is actions. Like making sure he’s eaten. Fixing his morning cup of tea. Placing the jam on his toast for him. Giving him copies of her exquisite notes- as well as enough for the rest of the boys after a full moon when she knows they’re all feeling rough. Her teling him to let her know whenever he gets where he’s going so that she knows he got there safely. Juni tells him that she loves him every day but she SHOWS him every second.

B: Baby

Sirius melts when she calls him Baby. He is baby. So shut it. But she probably calls him Baby more than she actually says his name. And when she does call him by his name he is so offended. He just pouts. “I’m not Sirius. I’m Baby.” “Ok, baby, whatever.” “That’s better.”

L: Lucky

There are times when he literally can’t believe that she’s with him. He just can’t fathom how he got so lucky.

A: Abandonment Issues

To expand on that, he is literally scared to death of losing her. All of his friends. Certainly the Potters. But he worries about fucking things up with Juniper a lot. Like ALOT. To a point, that she’ll catch him trying to be perfect and basically walking on eggshells.

C: Cupid

She’ll remind him that she’s smitten with him and that she loves him endlessly. Wild horses couldn’t tear them apart. On those days, the two of them just cuddle in bed for the longest time.

K: Kinfolk

Sirius NEVER wants Juniper to meet his parents. It’s already enough that she tutors Regulus and they got to school with his cousins. He doesn’t want Orion and Walburga Black anywhere near his princess.

BONUS: Padfoot Nickname Headcanons

P: Princess

Speaking of, while Sirius is obviously Baby- Juniper is Princess. I mean, he thinks she’s a Queen. A goddess. A fucking gift from the heavens. An angel. He worships the ground she walks on. That’s his precious sweet baby princess, lol. Also, she looks like a princess in her skating gear and he’s all too happy to be the court jester who keeps her smiling.

A: Adorable

His favorite thing in the world is Juniper in the morning. Half asleep. Hair a mess. Still not awake. In desperate need of caffeine. Plus she’s clingy when she’s sleepy and he LIVES FOR IT!

D: Drama Queen

His is a drama queen. 100% no getting around that. There are definitely times when things get out of hand and he blows thing out of proportion I.e.- her skating partner.

F: Flirt

Sirius made the mistake only one time of accusing her of cheating on him by flirting with her skating partner. She let him know that sh eloved him but if he EVER accused her of something like that again that he’d no longer have to worry about it because she’d be gone forever. She forgave him. They moved on.

O: Obscene

However, that does not mean that Sirius makes any mistakes about making it known that they’re together. He will scream Juniper’s name in bed until he literally has detention. Fuck it. Worth it.

O: Obsessive

To further this, he literally charmed his leather jacket to proudly display “Proud Property of Juniper Potter” . Additionally, he got her a matching one that said, “Sirius Blacks’ Princess” James gagged.

T: Temper

He only really lost his temper with her once. Bellatrix had hexed him and Juni decided she’d had enough. She literally challenged Bella to a duel and cast a sheild around them so that they couldn’t be interrupted. Bella cheated, of course, and seriously hurt Juni. But Juni was clearly the better of them and demolished her.

Sirius had screamed at her for that.

“You could’ve died! She could’ve killed you!”

“I was in no danger. I was prepared.”

“Well, I wasn’t and I never will be! Don’t you ever do that to me again!”

“Sirius, I’m fine.”

“Well, I’m not. I can’t lose you.”

She just held him.

“And one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t call me Sirius. I’m Baby.”

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Hello, loves!!! I hope you enjoyed this and if you want to see more things from Sirius and Juni, just please hit me up the ask box or drop a comment!

All my love darlings!

Kenny

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Love, Kenny

#sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius black headcanons #sirius black imagine #black ice #black ice story #black ice sirius black story #sirius black x oc #sirius black x ofc #sirius x juni #sirius x juniper #siri x juni #sirius black x juniper potter

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miniyrds · 3 years

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As long as they don’t follow your blog, you could outline it anyways. Venting can be scary but it can also be healthy and provide some catharsis in the midst of all of this. You know, get the metaphorical weight of your chest

I've tried writing this a few times bc my brain is annoying and I keep forgetting things and then over explaining lol

thank u for the excuse to write out my problems on the internet

side note: I tell this humorously now and I know that I could've done things a lot differently, but it still messed me up quite a bit

this can pretty much be broken into several instance so to speak

incident one:

me and my ex-roommate and our two suitemates moved into an on campus apartment in the spring of our 2nd year. I am in my 4th year now. The semester started and we were all really excited to live together with a kitchen. ex-roommate proposed that we alternate cooking for everyone (this only lasted one month). but... ex-roommate’s bf was always over eating our food. this became more of an issue to one of my suite mates but I was fairly annoyed by him being constantly around. anyway, we decide to tell my ex-roommate that we didn’t think he should be over as often etc etc

ex-roommate left for a few hours and came back only to sit us all down and cry about how having her bf over made her feel better bc adjusting to living in an apartment was really hard and there was nowhere else for them to go (he lived in his own room in a different dorm on campus)

we dropped the situation

incident two:

in like February/early march I had gone to bed early while my ex-roommate, her bf, and our suitemates watched a movie until like 2 am. one of my suitemates shouted goodnight and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep. ex-roommate and bf then decide to spend the night together...intimately...while I am right there.

I send her a message the following Monday bc I debated for so long whether or not to tell her that I heard. I told her that I really didn't want her bf staying the night after I had already gone to bed (basically I just wanted a heads up. I didn’t phrase this well)

I ended up getting really paranoid that she was sneaking him in and I confided in my suite mate about this (bad move)

incident three:

a week after spring break, we are getting back from a late showing of Us. It’s after midnight and we can’t find close parking. My suitemates and I offer to walk with her and she says that her bf is gonna walk her back so she’s okay

I say “oh, is [bf] coming over?” (I swear. that’s it)

wrong thing to say apparently. when we get back into the room she starts tearing into me. I don’t remember everything that was said but it started with “do you hate [bf]” and went to

we all hate your boyfriend. he makes us all feel really uncomfortable and he has for the past two years. we just never said anything

you say a lot of hurtful things. if you even think that you said something mean, apologize no matter how much later it is

you hurt [suitemates] feelings by joking about [something]. do u think she doesnt tell me? we tell each other everything

is [ex boyfriend] abusing you? because it seems like he is *never brings it up again or checks on me* (he was slightly toxic but it wasn't thanks to them that I realized it)

“im shocked im not crying rn. im just so mad” (as im sobbing)

I spent the rest of the semester on eggshells around them. I left every weekend I could but that was difficult because I didn't have a car. my ex never stepped foot in my apartment again (cant say the same about her bf)

my ex broke up with me that summer and that hit me really hard because we were co-dependent on each other in the worst way and he said a lot of mean things. ex-roommate hung out with me one time and claimed she was ‘there for me’ and got me thru my breakup. (that award goes to my mom, thanks)

I didn’t move back in with them in the fall. that honestly changed my life

incident four:

I am now in a much better place but I still feel the need to apologize to my new group of friends when I think I said something wrong. (they constantly assure me that I don’t have to) (I apologized to my current roommate for joking about how she cooks ramen and she was like "nat I do not hate u for ramen”)

I am also constantly prepared for another callout. I know I wasn't perfect and I couldve been better about boundaries. I know what to do now should that ever happen again. I feel bad about how it went down

I was not prepared for ex-roommate to turn on one of our suitemates in a me-style callout

I don’t have the full story from both sides but from what I gathered they were all joking in their normal fashion (”___ is my favorite! no ___ is my favorite!”) when ex-roommate took it to heart. this led to suitemate being excluded the moment they were walking out the door etc etc

needless to say, she moved out

ex-roommate took to social media to say “those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. friendship applications closed forever!” after she blocked my suitemate.

this is when I learned that ex-roommate sees nothing wrong with how she treated me. like 0 empathy. I have 2 sources that believe she doesnt feel any at all

a few nights ago she tweeted about my old suitemate and I sent it to her (like a good friend lol). this is when I learned that ex-roommate was always mad that I hung out with other people

conclusion?

this was kinda cathartic. It was more timeline than venting but I have no more real venting thoughts I realized. I've exhausted them. but I do take smug comfort in the random instances that bothered my ex-roommate. we didn’t work as friends or roommates and im still messed up from everything but at least I have really good new friends now :))

#I dont have any tags for this lol #I don't really want it to spread so enjoy

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cipherr · 6 years

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28, 56, 76 (;3) for Era, 8, 23, 25 for Severine ! (And if it isn’t too early ... 7, 17, 25, 31, 34 for Azhiera c: BUT IF IT IS I FULLY UNDERSTAND U KNOW I AM ALWAYS BIAS ♡ )

aaaaaaaa thank youu i’ll put it under a cut bc i tend to get long-winded c:

Eralei:

28. Have they done anything embarrassing?if you asked her that now, she’d honestly say that how she behaved as an apprentice was embarrassing, even though she acted that way for survival. she was almost overly obedient and accommodating, constantly walking on eggshells so as to not tick off any of the Lords, doing her best to stay out of everyone’s way. now that she’s much older, she hates how much effort she put into bowing and scraping for these people who, in her opinion, haven’t done a damn thing to earn the respect they demanded. she’s changed a lot.

56. Should Vette get them a giant droid for Life Day?i mean, she’d have enough sense to use it responsibly LOL it would still probably give Lana a heart attack every time though :’D those things are practically giant, walking, shiny targets on the battlefield.

76. If they romanced Lana, did they ask her to marry them? If so what was their wedding like?of course she did 8) i’m actually still pretty torn on what i want the wedding to be like. on the one hand, i could see them just going for some small and private affair. on the other hand, i’d love to have it be some great big celebration, not just for them but everyone they know and care about, all their friends and allies that stuck with them through everything and came out on the other side. Eralei, particularly, is really big on recognizing that she would not have been able to accomplish any of this alone. even though the future is uncertain, and no one really knows for sure what’s to come, the Alliance accomplished so much and against great odds, and she’d want to see that recognized and celebrated. and what better way to do that than to combine it with one of the happiest and most treasured events of her life?also, listen. you can take the Sith out of nobility, but you can’t take the nobility out of the Sith. you already know a wedding celebration involving Eralei would be an amazing and gorgeous event :’D plus, Vette as the maid of honor, i’m just saying. CUTE.

Severine:

8. How do they feel about the opposite faction?its…horrible, but having grown up in the Empire, she was basically just conditioned since birth that Republic = weak and inferior, and she never really gave it much actual thought past that. she never needed to. why would she? it would only be counterproductive to her career. her deep-cover mission within the SIS certainly didn’t do anything to improve her attitude, it just pissed her off further. it made it personal.

23. Do they like their role in their current situation? ei: if they are a Sith do they like being in the Sith order?despite everything she’s been through, yes. she truly believes that being an agent is the best use of her talents and skillset, and they’d be wasted doing anything else.

25. Do they have any deep dark secrets?i mean, if you wanted to be really technical about it, her entire career is one big dark secret :’D but honestly, no, she doesn’t. even the most heinous things she’s done for Intelligence, she’s not ashamed of. honestly i don’t think she’s even capable of feeling shame. or guilt, for that matter.

Azhiera: (i will do my best :’DD)

7. Are they loyal to their faction? not really. it was pure, unfortunate circumstance that landed her with the Empire and eventually the Sith. she appreciates that the Sith have made her strong and given her a fighting chance, but otherwise that’s pretty much it.

17. Do they have family? Silbings, parents, children?any family she had is dead to her now, they made that pretty clear when they did the same to her. i’m thinking she did have an older brother, though.

25. Do they have any deep dark secrets?quite possibly :’) this answer’s gonna have to remain vague because i’m still deciding what exactly happened in her history to land her where she is now. but there are definitely some things in her past that she’d absolutely never talk about. at least not for a looong while.

31. Describe their personality. Are they snarky, noble, insane, etc?all i really have for her so far is that she’s got quite the attitude LMAO like she knows full well that very few people in the Empire will have any shred of decency towards her due to the fact that she’s an alien and an ex-slave, that even the grunts that are technically beneath her only “respect” her because she’s survived long enough to become a Sith Lord and she’d fry them otherwise. none of it is real or genuine and she’s bitter about it. it’s not even that she necessarily wanted power, she was kind of thrown into this life and is basically just doing the best with what she’s got. so yeah, she knows that nothing she ever does will ever be “enough” so she’ll snark and sass and backtalk as much as she wants.

34. Any major flaws?i mean, she’s pretty cold and standoffish but she’s got good reason to be imo :’)) she’s got walls of ice built up around her that are about a mile thick. very stubborn. if someone ‘demands’ something of her, she’ll do the opposite out of spite. totally happy with manipulating anyone for personal gain.i’m sure she’ll get better with time but as of right now she’s just terrible LMAO

#ask meme #i have no idea how coherent any of this is but i'm trying my best LMAO

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shiny-craboo-blog · 7 years

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@rockformed replied to your post : i keep goin away for a long time but theres a good...

what asshole?? 👀👀👀👀👀

WHOOO lemme tell you this is a long one (sorry about any spelling errors i was tryna get this done quickly)

it was actually that guy that we played overwatch with together once.

ive known him since about december, but he was saying lots of homophobic and racist shit, so i was like eh might as well try to make him a better person, but to do that, you gotta get close, and i started liking him (literally @ past me why?????)

so i flirt a little here, giggle a little there, and he falls in love with me. i liked him too, but he liked me to a point where it was obsessive. he was telling me i saved his life and that out of everyone on earth im his favorite. i come out to him as trans one day, and after a lot of thinking, he was like “okay yeah im okay with this” and i was happy

however, like i said, he was really obsessive. he wouldnt let me play games with anyone else unless he was there, and when i tried to watch a show with one of our mutual friends, he gets all upset about it.

eventally, even though he liked me, he started being a real ass. i told him that i didnt really like him anymore and that i wanted to stay friends, and he turned it into this huge fight and ended it with “Forget it... Good night.” - and he used that phrase every (and “goodbye”) every time he wanted a conversation to sound final or like he was going to die if i didnt give him all my attention right then and there.

the fighting continued for a few months, during which he called me a sociopath, narcissistic, not worthy off being called a human being, and all that typa stuff. he started feeling suicidal - even though he felt that way before i met him, he started feeling it stronger because he didnt have me constantly fawning over him to ease it out - and he straight up told me that he blamed me for his feelings.

the fights got reaaalllll bad, and eventually he had a set day and time, and every time i said i was going to call his mom about it, he got really defensive and acted like i was attacking him, saying “dont test me” and shit

he became really emotionally manipulative and just flat out malicious tbh

the day came around and i blocked him because i didnt want to hear about it, and he started yet another fight. he didnt do anything though because half an hour later he came crawling back saying that he needed someone to talk to and that he had this whole change of heart and that he realized what his friends were worth and how he acted really shitty and that he was sorry

but he didnt change his behavior at all lmao

he kept arguing with me, so i started just. not joining as much and not talking to him as often and he got really pissy, asking me if i was talking to other people and accusing me of talking with this guy who he hates (the guy he hates left to make another server with all the people this guy was an asshole to so they could have a place where he wasnt there being a dick and the guy im telling you about acts like the victim whenever he talks about it like?? literally if u were a better friend they wouldnt have felt the need to?) (and i totally was talking to the guy bc the enemy of your enemy is your friend and all that) but he was a real ass about it.

and saturday!! this saturday!!! he was an ass the moment i joined the call so i left and he got mad saying like “you know how i get upset when you leave the call” and i was like “i just??? dont wanna be there if ur gonna be mean to me the moment i join??” and he said

THIS BITCH

said

“its a guy thing to be mean to your friends. but i guess you wouldn’t know about that ;)”

so i blocked him. he texts me saying that hes been mean because his dads been on his back about college, and i said it wasnt an excuse. a few minutes later, someone from the server messages me sayin that nick said if i dont unblock him hes gonna ban me. so i unblocked him and asked for a reason why i should stay. this bitch. this ass. says “because i thought we were friends” LIKE BIIIIIIITCH PLEAAAAAAASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE AINT

anyway we fought for 3 hours and rather than giving me any good reasons to stay he called me stupid and said i misinterpreted the message like?? how else am i supposed to interpret it????????

so im staying, making him fall in love with me again, then leaving.

bonus: i made a list of the highlights of some of the shit things hes said to me

"Forget it... good night." "i used to trust everyone then the thing happened with my cousin so i stopped sharing myself or exposing myself. then i did over the years with kii then she backstabbed me. then ness and it happened again. i didnt trust anyone and still wasnt ok with sharing myself. then u stepped in and made me feel happy and wanted and like i could trust people. then you said you loved me like you did. i opened up and pursued and got lead on for 15 hours a day for a month up until i got enough courage to try to stand and speak open heartedly and with courage and the next day you lose all interest." "you know what? you obviously dont like me anymore. im over it you win. im done chasing. the goalposts always change. its over." "i cant stop chasing you. you are literally my favorite person on earth." "im doing this once a day from now on. wanna go out" "1 reason i got on ow. *1 reason i got on ow off my psych. guess it doesnt matter to you." “For the record the reason im mad all the time is because im fucking pissed at you but cant take it out for some reason.” “reason im so shit ight now is caught i thought i was at rock bottom and you took me up the mountain just to fling me off. forget it. good night." "youre still online. just gonna pretend im not here?" "hope this doesnt wake you up but sorry for being a cunt." "i still want to die haha. life sucks" "im sorry." me: you purposely did something to make me mad and then get upset when i get mad "im hald zoned in rn im getting killed by bad vibes but im not gonna make you mad ever again." "why did you fool me. i fight with you a lot now and its because of what you did to me and how ive lost my sense of self and all emotions because of you. but then i remember this is just how i usually am and being happy is what people are supposed to be like and im not so this is normal and only my fault so. i forgot where i was going with this but take care friend." "if it was the concept thing then why do i still love you." "i get upset because i have to actively avoid falling for you." "im only angry and mean to you because i dont understand my emotions." "im gonna kill myself saturday at 7:32 pm" (<<<this was two weeks ago hes fine now) "im not gonna do it i just want attention" "to keep it 100 i just said that so you wouldnt call anyone." "dont test me" "eat shit" "if youre trying to make me unfriend you its working" "actual human beings dont pull that bullshit. they suck it up and stick to their word or break the news to the other and dont drag them along." me: every humans a human regardless of whether or not they feel "theyre a human. not an actual human. theyre a human but not worthy of being called one." "in 3 months you managed to fuck with my emotions and make me want to kill myself more than kii did in 3 years." "i think this is the last conversation were gonna have. if you got anything important to say speak now or forever hold your peace. alright youre in overwatch and missed your chance." "have fun with your game hope its worth losing me over."

me: im going to call your mom and tell her right now "and say what? 'im a bad friend and now nick wont talk to me?'"

me: no. 'nicks planning on killing himself.' "and ill just say its someone im amd at trying to get revenge on me" "im not convinced that its not a whole thing made specifically to drive me to suicide." "in queue rather than fixing problems. typical. goodbye, asshole." "what if by trying to stop the outcome u saw you just pushed me away from one of the only people i trusted and now im on a path that ends in my inevitable self destruction." "no thats the depression but i am saying u took away what made me happy." "forget it, ill catch you later. apparently no goodbyes either lol." "bye oats." "the only thing you will ever love besides yourself is overwatch. bye." "are you there i just got back and i really need someone." "beause youre the middle man i guess and it was a test of allegiance i think in my mind." "idk i just feel like not many people actually like me deep down and its a shit thing of me to put that on others." "hows ness doing" "because im done walking on eggshells for you, snowflake. "its a guy thing to be a dick to your friends. guess u wouldnt understand ;)" "sorry for being a jerk. dad has been riding me all week and im mad all the time." "maybe you would get it if your dad ever punched you or woke you up by throwing shit at you." (i know for a fact his dad doesnt do this. there was a whole week where we were in a call 24/7 to see how long we could get one to last and his dad brings him dinner and plays xbox in the same room sometimes. i get that from an outside perspective this may seem mean to overlook, but if you knew this guy, you wouldnt put it past him to lie about shit like this just for attention.) "youre being such a baby over this. its not a big deal, its an argument." "considering you didnt write it id consider it awful stupid of you to think you can interpret it better than the author." "you dont know me"

#babbbles #just like #fuck that guy?#legit thinkin about ruinin his entire life. telling future employers hes racist and stuff.

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bricrse · 7 years

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IT’S BREATH IS LIKE ICE DOWN YOUR NECK. IT’S TOUCH IS SEARING —– ( EVENT SIXTEEN / TASK TWENTY SIX. )

I was never a woman born easy to swallow, I exist only in extremities,

as a forest fire

or a hurricane

——————- NEVER a light summer rain.

BASICS ;

NAME: Briar Sinclair CODE NAME: empathal AGE: 18 GRADE: 12th/Senior ALIGNMENT: Neutral FACE CLAIM: Willa Holland

POWERS ;

—————– PATHOKINESIS ; DESCRIPTION

The user can sense and manipulate the emotions of those around them including feelings, moods, and their positive && negative affects on themselves, people and animals, whether by increasing && decreasing emotional aspects, causing or otherwise channeling emotion, or even manifesting the emotional energy to a physical level.

—————– PATHOKINESIS ; SKILLS ( LIMITED / STILL LEARNING. ) CURRENT:

DETECTION: the power to sense emotions of those around them INTENSELY in one’s vicinity, including many all at once: CURRENTLY: unavoidable, overwhelming, despised, and inflictive/adoptive on herself.

INFLICTION: inflicting one’s emotions on other’s around them, especially very intense and overwhelming ones ( eg. sorrow, rage, love. ) CURRENTLY: completely out of her control.

ABSORPTION && EMPOWERMENT: fully or partially absorb emotions temporarily or permanently, with/without removing it from the source. Targets of the absorption lose motivation and energy over sudden loss of intense emotions. && also the power to grow strength from emotions ( eg. extra strength && health. ) CURRENTLY: avoided, under control.

AUGMENTATION && MANIPULATION: increasing existing emotions of others, and affecting other’s control over their actions. ( eg. overwhelming their confidence, restraint. ) and/or manipulation && intensification of emotions && feelings ( eg. sorrow, wrath/rage, jealousy, greed, lust, as well as trust and comfort. ) leading to actions the target wouldn’t usually do, although can be easily resisted if paying attention to the snickering girl in the corner. CURRENTLY: in control, used frequently.

—————– PATHOKINESIS ; IN PROGRESS:

REMOVAL: the ability to REMOVE their own or another’s ability to feel emotion/s. CURRENTLY: no progress.

PAIN SUPPRESSION: the ability to suppress pain felt by oneself or others / to become highly resistant to physical pain by mentally eliminating the signals transmitted from brain > wound. Depending on the wound, target’s can continue to move, ignore pain, and generally function in situations where pain would disable a normal person. CURRENTLY: improving, in progress.

PAIN SUPPRESSION - EXTENDED, EMPATHIC HEALING: the ability to heal other’s emotional wounds and burdens via altering certain emotions to fit. CURRENTLY: in progress, but avoided due to emotional backlash.

—————– PATHOKINESIS ; LIMITATIONS

EASY LOSS OF CONTROL, ESPECIALLY WITH CONFLICTING EMOTIONS AND AN UNFOCUSED MIND. NEEDS PERSEVERANCE AND PATIENCE.

CONSTANT MENTAL CONTROL NEEDED TO KEEP ONE’S OWN EMOTIONS CONTROLLED AND ANY SIDE-EFFECTS AT BAY. RESTRICTIONS NEEDED.

HEALTH IS JEOPORDISED FREQUENTLY. HEADACHES, MIGRAINES, AND NOSEBLEEDS HAVE BEEN RECORDED.

CAN SENSE EMOTIONS FROM MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT ONE TIME, BUT ACTUAL SINGULAR POWERS ARE LIMITED TO ONE TARGET AT A TIME.

LIMITED RANGE, USUALLY RESTRICTED TO ROOMS.

EMOTIONAL BACKLASH IS OFTEN RESULTED, AS WELL AS VERY OVERWHELMING. ESPECIALLY WHEN TOYING WITH MULTIPLE EMOTIONS.

BIOGRAPHY ;

even as a child the way she looked at people was…UNUSUAL? the victim were opaque pages and briar was soaking in every word. her parents marked it as TOO INITIATIVE, but even they still looked at their daughter with morbid curiosity, at the one who was so perceptive to the people around her, so touchy. the slightest sight of a flicker – a spark of anything would send briar fueling the autumn embers of a flame that would grow out of CONTROL. she didn’t understand it, of course, it had only been innocent inquiry in the beginning. and in the beginning it hadn’t been that bad, but as she grew? UNPREDICTABILITY became a thing. It was always one side of the coin or the other, she was either too calm, or too OUT OF CONTROL, her emotions were rapid or frozen in place. the slightest reaction sends her into a spiral, and slightest intense emotion in her chest were always so tiring, overwhelming ; it takes a toll on the mind of the child. She’s taken to psychology’s, to doctor’s ( why so many MIGRAINES? ) and they do scans, they do everything, but the only thing that manages to happen is briar tugging with their emotions enough to lose their jobs ( easier to do than you think,) everything is ‘ fine ’ —- but she knows it’s not. she knows SHE’S not.

it doesn’t help when her father dies, after an argument with his wife. briar can practically see the wrath radiating through the air, but either way — her father leaves with a slam of the front door and he never returns. CAR ACCIDENT, briar’s left in shambles, and everyone around her is her path of wreck. FUNERALS? briar learns they’re not the type of place for someone like her. she absorbs everything, and it’s too much. the only PEACEFUL person is —- her mother? strange. it doesn’t take briar long to figure it out. the AFFAIR. and the blame is immediately pinned on the woman for driving her idol out the front door and into the path of a vehicle. briar feels so such…rage? ( FIRST SIGNS: UNSTABLE EMOTIONS, QUICK TO ANGER, QUICK TO ANYTHING. ) next thing she remembers is her mother being carried out the front door by paramedics, she doesn’t come home. It’s HER fault, and she knows it. there’s a certain persuasion to briar’s abilities, just the right push and it sends any person over the edge. of course —- what do the cops think? the widow commits suicide after her husbands death, they’re not going to believe her fifteen year old daughter messed around in her head accidentally.

the sinclair children are handed over to an aunt that UNDERSTANDS. apparently a grandfather? a great grandfather from her mother’s side shared her particular peculiarity ( same curse, if you ask her. ) he eventually drove himself mad, or his abilities did ; he didn’t live past thirty. she’s told she needs extensive control and learning ; rules and regulations to keep herself under control, to keep from inflicting on anyone else. but even that’s hard when everyone walks on eggshells around her home. her aunts rigid fingertips graze briar’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort, but briar feels no warmth, she feels FEAR ———- STOKELY’S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED YOUNGSTERS is shoved under her nose by an eager aunt wanting to be rid of a child too difficult to handle. the child welcomes it, welcomes the school, and even finds UNEASINESS in leaving after her final year. she finds this place more comforting than any home she’s had before ; considering she’s not the worst one here —— she’s getting better, but she still despises being in larger groups ; classes are always such a bother, and that’s where she finds most of her self-control tugging at the reigns. SHE’S NOT READY, and she wants nothing less than to be released back into a world where she doesn’t belong, where she could potentially go backwards rather than forwards and potentially endanger —— see? she does care, it doesn’t seem to show when she uses other students as target practice. but the untameable rebel girl is forced to have a harness wrapped around herself ; RESTRICTIONS, but even the strongest of people can lose control.

HEADCANONS EXTRAS ;

lol shannae why dont you just cUT OFF YOUR extra ass™ right here, nobody wants to hear you rAMBLE, but ok listen briar is sO !! different in this event to me and i find it cool, dont judge me, im INSPIRED. first off she is super?? introverted?? tries to stick to herself most of the time

not really that aggressive tbh she’s not gonna fight u unless someone messed with her frootloops that morning or she thinks she can control herself into not turning you into a hot chili pepper firecracker explosion ready to go oFF

it’s more like psychological and visual tbh like…i’m basing this off one of my favourite books but she can actually see certain aura’s?? && she’s learnt to differ their meanings

dont go having a fight with someone around her. she’s not Good ok, this is on the neGATIVE scale and she cannot help herself. she feeds off && fuels negative emotions without even reaLISING it, like?? you don’t see her picking daisies and singing walking on sunshine?? she’s the one with a scowl in the corner because she doesn’t want to deal with her own emotions let alone anyone elses

you can tell i just gave the most emotiONALLY CONSTIPATED PERSON ON THE PLANET this superpower just to screw with her. i’m not Nice

anyway find her in the library 90% of the time tbh she cannot handle large rooms with large amounts of people && overpowering emotions. it makes her ill, she doesn’t like using her absorption, so she’s unwell alot. I’m not Nice x2

so happy this isnt mutual to all of u because she is terrifIED of herself && doesn’t want anyone to know she isn’t a badass biTCH

doesn’t mean she won’t screw around tho, if you feel extra lovey dovey towards mr. fitzgerald, or want to go stab ur gf in the neck suddenly, you know who’s the cause

PLOTS ;

HUAN ZHANG ——- 2 gay !!!! watch them argue with each other and then make out, i mean. .make up.

#hst:task #event tag tbt.#suicide mention tw #death mention tw #this is the worsT but i really wanted to get this out before i leaVE #i went all out with this task ok if you want to save the next hOUR of your life do nOT click the read more #but 👀 come plot w/mE

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meatybits · 7 years

Note

All of the questions. All of them.

A - If I’m in love: Right now, nope.

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was: My step dad about what kind of car I had so we can get a gastank for it.

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed: Uhhhh gosh um, last year if we’re talking romantically.

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls: I have a preference for girls!

E - How many piercings I have. I have two, hoping for more! My ears and my septum.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’ Lol uh both? I love both.

G - The last person I said 'I love you’ to: Mom, I said i love u to her earlier after she said i love u to my cat.

H - The last person I hugged. My mom, she’s a very huggy person. uvu

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why..: I don’t remember ever really feeling jealous, other than socially jealous. Like oh gosh I wish I could socialize as smoothly as you do and not feel extremely insecure.

J - Are you insecure. What about? Yes, a lot of things to be honest. From my lack of friends and conversations to how I talk. From how I feel like I am always trying to walk around eggshells without cracking them. Because I literally want everyone to like me, but do to my self esteem that usually means I stick to myself in fear that what I say and feel will upset people so I feel like it’s better not to talk to anyone for everyone’s sake. Tbh a lot of things.

K - What my full name is: I’ll give everything but my real first name lol. Jake lee-ann jackson, I’m hoping one day to change it to Jake lee-ann Webb after my mother’s maiden name.

L - If I have siblings: Two that I personally know, my sister Kae and my sister amanda. I apparently have three others I’ll never know.

M - If I forgive betrayal: Depends on the betrayal, I’ve never really experienced it.

N - Favourite animal? My favorite animals are cats and jellyfish!!

O - Where would I like to travel I’d love to ireland or scottland, maybe even australia. Really tho I just love the idea of traveling.

P - What kind of music I like. I love all kinds!! Tho as of late I’ve been listening to a lot of pop.

Q - Favourite flower? My favorite flowers are bluets and forget me nots and lily of the valley. They’re all tiny flowers.

R - Is cheating ever okay.. no

S - 2 habits nail biting and lotioning my hands like crazy.

T - 3 things I love unconditionally. Warrior cats, being in water, and my cat.

U - Favourite time of year, and why I love every time of the year, and each time I get into the next season I’m ready for the one after that lol.

V - Big dreams? I want to live in a romantically and financially stable life. With friends. :v Also I want a room with a glass roof.

W - If I’ve done something I regret very much. So many things, so so many things. You wouldn’t believe the amount of things I regret. I can’t even count the amount of things.

X - 3 turn on: SHRUGS.

Y - 3 turns offs Aggressive behavior, injuries, belittling.

#jake speaks

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intothespideyverses · 7 years

Text

what I imagine going down next season (as a result of everything that happened in sesson 3) warning for discussion of suicide/self-harm:

SHINY

-ok since the whole sex subplot was never really resolved (they SAID they talked but we didnt see shit so) I think this would be a good time to introduce ace!Shay. Now another part of me would also like for shiny to have sex just so esme could stop fucking with m'daughter's head but shay seemed way too opposed to the idea of sex in general (and not in a nervous way, but in a "why would I ever have sex?" kinda way). And maybe once Shay's comfortable with being ace she can just deck esme right in the nose idc idc idc she had it coming! Fuck a $230 skirt bih! Tiny would be weirded out and probably disappointed at first but bc he’s literally the perfect bf he'd come around eventually. Hopefully they could highlight that there are ways to be intimate in a relationship w/o having sex. I just want shiny happiness and for people (lola up until she apologized, esme) to stop going out of their way to make shay feel so insecure and then getting mad at her when she reacts to their bs.

-speaking of which as much as I hate to see her miserable I think shay needs an angsty storyline. She solves her problems so quickly and efficiently, we never even see the emotions she must be going through. i don’t think her being ace would cause her too much stress, she'd do her research for a bit, have a fight with tiny about it (maybe even suggest to keep the relationship open, which would offend tiny) but other than that the real source of angst would come from esme. lets say esme finds out, y’all already know she would never let shay hear the end of it. that, on top of esme being EVERYWHERE and the two of them competing to be both the smartest and most athletic girl in school, would probably really get to shay's psyche. maybe esme goes too far one day, and shay just says fuck it and throws hands?? or maybe she breaks her phone?? idk something rly impulsive bc shay doesn't normally make impulsive decisions. of course esme makes shay out to be the irrational one and shay tries to quit the track team, her grades start slipping, etc etc. esme gets bored without having someone to compete against, or maybe she notices the change in shay's demeanor (and bc of maya’s suicide attempt and her mom) is afraid she pushed shay over the edge. they talk after class one day, esme still being bitchy but by the end a little teary eyed. I think their talk would be reminiscent of anya and holly j in season 8?? 9?? where anya was all like "why are you so mean to me" and hj's like "bc u let me bitch :)" so esme CLEARLY isn't gonna take any real responsibility for bullying shay but shay decides that shes NOT gonna be the bigger person for once. Idk how this would end but I definitely want shay to be more confident by the end, and for esme to learn when to stand down.

-Tiny's line about shay just seeing him as a "good nerd boy" rly stuck out to me. How much does shay know about tiny's past?? This definitely has to be brought up at some point, and I really thought the show would've mentioned that but w/e. Shay probably knows SOMETHING about the gang stuff but not how far it goes, or his family, etc. Tiny has an image that he keeps from everyone else but saves only for shay, which is adorable (they have boggle ((is that like scrabble???)) dates...need me a freak like that) but at some point shays gonna have to see the rest of him. Tiny is tired of shay assuming so much about his intentions too. That and shay not wanting sex period will (in my vision for s4) definitely be the biggest conflicts for shiny, but they'll work through them quickly bc unlike every other couple on this show they actually know how to communicate :)

-also how does tiny feel about the crash?? he looked all the way fucked up when they rushed him into the hospital so...he has to have some sorta trauma from that come on now

TRILES/MOLA

-this is gonna be messy lol. triles and mola are two very polarizing ships so we already kno theres gonna be some mess once tristans back at school. tristan may have been all "okay w/e idc" at the play but we all know once his petty ass is able to speak he's gonna go out of his way to make lolas life living hell. its truly gonna be slutshaming for days, and lets not forget the biphobia. he wont really direct any anger at miles, except tight-lipped quickly concealed bitterness. i can already picture these scenes yall like this is literally what is gonna happen WATCH.

-miles is of course gonna still feel guilty about the whole knocking her up thing, and he rly does love her and values her friendship (their friendship was so cute) so he's gonna want to keep hanging out with her (it’ll start off with just checking up on her every now and then like craig after manny’s abortion, but it’ll grow to miles getting an actual job at lola’s, etc). tristan will be okay with this on the surface but as soon as he and lola are alone (maybe tris is @ the hollingsworth household while lolas there for frankie or hell even miles and miles leaves to get some snacks or something) tristan just lays into her!! on some "you were NOTHING to him" shit. on some "you tried to trap him with a baby" shit!! some “he never loved you, just pitied you” shit!!!! and then tris is all back to smiles the second miles comes back. lola’s on the verge of tears but keeps this to herself cause she doesnt want to start drama so soon after tristan coming back and bc she loves miles too much etc etc. miles of course eventually finds out, and he and tris have the fight of the century where it ALL comes out.

-now I just read a list of PERFECT mola headcanons (by @beach-city-mystery-girl!) that should definitely happen throughout the season! idk if triles will stay together or if mola becomes official but at some point someones gonna be all "make. a. DECISION" at miles so!!

-lola should also find value in being alone and being comfortable with herself. she and yael become genuine friends (bc she needs someone outside of frankie and shay and miles) and form a weird almost symbiotic relationship where they give each other advice on things the other lacks. baaz flips between trying to flirt with her and making insensitive comments about her abortion. lola finally sets him straight for once and for all.

-maybe something goes down at the restaurant? idk I just started caring about lola’s existence yesterday idk how this goes

-I think frankie eventually finds out that miles and lola hooked up, idk how but she does and she’s not happy about it yikes.

-actually after just reading another great post (by tristanmiligay), a lot of tristan’s insecurities could also lie in the fact that he’s disabled now. maybe miles rly wants to get tris up on his feet again and do something FUN and EXCITING but homeboi literally just got out of a coma and can’t make it, so I can see miles asking lola to go instead (like maybe its a couples thing and he already reserved it or w/e) and that kinda sets tristan off the first time. he’ll probably try to force himself to heal faster, maybe even injuring himself further in the process? he’s gonna have a lot of self-doubt and internalized ableism like the post said :/, and all of that is gonna manifest in hate for lola.

ZASHA/GRONAH (is that what we're calling it??)

-okay so this section is kinda tied into the maya section and rly just centered around grace so yeah. but thats mainly bc there wont rly be any drama between zasha (except like normal preparing for college type stuff, like zoe wants to go to some rly good school far away and rasha wants to stay in toronto bc she just got there).

-zoe's pretending to be fine with getting kicked out but its absolutely destroying her on the inside. she and her mom were so close despite everything. zoe starts going thru mad identity issues bc everything about her was sculpted by her mom. if shes not in her life anymore then who is she? she keeps replaying "i love you despite who you are" in her head and its killing her. she sometimes sneaks out of grace's room at night and leaves voice messages on her moms phone (which ms. Rivas never responds to) and ends every night crying on the couch. grace grows super concerned for her but has no idea how to balance both helping maya out and helping zoe. one day at school grace tries to confront zoe about the voicemails but zoe brushes it off and says something cute like "being with rasha makes it all worth it" but grace is still like 👀.

-grace then moves on to trying to help maya but maya is sick and tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her and she tells grace shes fine and that she needs to back off, but grace knows somethings still off. later that day she spots zoe in the student council office trying to call her mom and leaving an angry voicemail, ripping mama rivas to shreds!! "you were never a good mother, a mother who cant love her own daughter shouldnt even be having kids, i hate you, go to hell" type of shit. at the last minute she realizes she doesnt mean half of that (or she does mean it but that scares her) and tries to backtrack but by then the voicemail's already been sent. zoe starts freaking out and crying again and leaves another one like "im sorry I didnt mean any of that please just let me come back. Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry" like just saying sorry over and over again, and grace finally steps in like "sorry for the voicemail or sorry for being gay?" and confronts zoe again. zoe tries to get the attention off of her by asking about maya and grace is like "she's 'fine' just like how you're 'fine'. cut the bs binch" or whatever and zoe breaks all the way down, but before grace can comfort her she sees maya and esme fighting outside the office and she runs out to stop it. zoe, now that shes alone and still crying, contemplates self harming again (im gonna end this here cause this is long enough I deadass would write this whole episode if I could)

-anyway juggling between her upcoming surgery, college apps, and two lowkey suicidal best friends, grace is stressed tf out. this is where gronah steps in lol. i dont care much about jonah but i do know hes much more interesting and likeable when he's with grace. he gives her advice and shit and they go on a bunch of golfing dates, grace maybe takes him to yoga or something, they help each other with college apps, and well gronah happens! jonah basically goes from boring to manic pixie dream boy who tries to show grace that life is worth living and blah blah yall know the drill

-rasha needs a plot outside of zoe and i think her pursuing acting could be a thing!! she goes out to casting calls but every director says something along the line of "we just...envisioned someone else for the role" or "we dont rly think you'd...fit" bc shes muslim and then the one time she gets picked up for a student film, its about a terrorist attack and rasha doesnt realize until she shows up to rehearsal. she goes off on the director (and reminds her that most terrorist attacks are domestic lol) and runs off to goldi and they talk. maybe she tries to write her own webseries (probably with the help of winston) and it becomes a hit!! maybe we could have a probably cheesy as hell famous youtuber plot (and vijay gets jealous lol) and they have some sorta subscriber war where everyones taking sides. baaz, yael, and hunter try to sabotage rasha's show and bc our girl loves scheming she hits them back even harder :).

-also maybe we find out what happens to her friend back in syria? i dont want her to have too many depressing plots so maybe her friend is okay physically but not mentally and she has to deal with that :(

MAYA

-so like I already said maya's done with everyone bullshitting her and being overbearingly nice, so she starts closing herself off. this just makes everyone even more worried tho, so she forces herself back into music and her studies. grace and jonah are all over her, zig always looks guilty as fuck and treats her like a baby, miles forgot she existed but if they pass each other in the hall he'll ask how shes doing, zoe hugs her randomly one day, and esme...esmes the worst one. she starts lowkey stalking maya and its getting on her last nerve.

-she avoids saad like the plague at first, but eventually realizes that he's the only person who doesnt treat her any differently (or so she thinks). they go to the roof one day (cause that shit is never locked no matter how many suicide attempts happened up there) to talk things out, and saad completely switches gears. "what were you thinking??? why would you do that???" type of stuff. maya gets mad at him talks shit about his pictures maybe, idk. saad reminds her that its a coping mechanism after everything that happened in syria, maybe he says he once contemplated too?? idk all the ideas I have are depressing moving on

-one day maya explodes on everyone after she dissapears for a bit (umm maybe she was chosen to perform a song at a school event but, after hearing some girls talking about her suicide attempt in the bathroom, she decides to ditch) bc everyone (grace, jonah, zig, esme, zoe maybe) gang up on her to check if shes okay. she goes off, saying "none of you cared before i tried to kill myself so why care now?" and idk where I was going with this, I want maya happiness and closure but idk how to get there smh.

-uhh she finds hoot! she goes home after school and finds hoot stuffed in the back of her closet. she writes a bittersweet song and after a long talk with her mom, decides to call grace. maybe grace invites her over for a sleepover?? and zoe and maya can finally have a real conversation since The Incident too! Also grace can kinda kill 2 birds with one stone.

FRANKIE'S ANNOYING ASS

-I cant stand this child but shes the writers' baby so she'll get at least 5 main plots next season oh my god. My wishful thinking speaking, but maybe she'll learn its okay to be alone and finally learn to like herself! Hopefully she sees the value in sticking to the sidelines and helping her friends through their issues. Ooh, maybe she learns how to be a good ally after gorillagate and educates her brothers on why their many intolerances are wrong (lbr here, hunter probably uses "triggered" as an insult and continues to call all the refugees "scary", same with miles) BUT come on this is degrassi :) so the writers are probably gonna throw in a new male character for frankie to obsess over. Well, either a newbie or someone completely random thats already in the cast like fucking baaz or saad.

Z*SME

-zig and esme spend a lot of their time obsessing over maya I think, esme bc she sees her mom in maya and zig bc he feels like he made her do it. umm noah fence but i dont rly care about these two so thats all I got lol

if anyone has any specific headcanon requests I’d love some!

#you can clearly see who my faves are smh #degrassi #degrassi next class #dnc spoilers

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catastrophizinglife · 7 years

Text

TransWa??

This is an interesting post (from an actual person on my FB friend's list, and not some link to god only knows where) that makes a guy like me stop and think...

The wording of this post actually had me slightly confused as to whether this individual was born male or female, and of course I had to ask for clarification assuming full well that I'd most likely get about a million lectures (from the wonderful world of gender benders) but I didn't (yet.)

Most transgender people I’ve come to know online (don't really know any in person that come to mind, currently) get atrociously, and unnecessarily angry when you ask them questions like "what kind of junk have you got in your pants?" or "Were you born male or female?" I mean these (most, not all) transgender people pretty much bark at you from atop their giant (pink and blue - depending on FTM or MTF status) soapboxes, and try to belittle our "simplistic," "backwards" and, "ancient" ways of thinking. "How dare you ask me that!? It's none of your business!" And they go on to claim that "people like me" should just accept them for who they are.

Now here's the problem with that... If the junk in your trunk is meaningless, and pointless, and shouldn't be discussed, pondered, or imagined because it's not the meat that makes the mack, then why the hell are you "trying to live life" in a gender not assigned to you at birth? Why would you MTFs care about women's clothing? women's makeup? Fancy french manicures and up-doos if the sex didn’t matter? For years, women (not men) have broken their backs (sometimes quite literally due to heels) to do one of 2 things either own the fact that they have boobs and rock-em well, or try to fight and claw their way out from under the metaphorical glass ceiling (and all other boxes MEN try to keep them in.) They did that. They continue to do that.

But here YOU come along with your PENIS yeah, that's right, ya do got one bro, and try to take their spotlight for your own personal desires. With your oh-so-wishy-washy, and pompous attitude. Wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have that "I'm entitled" attitude, like the world owes you something. Like you had to work through years of inequality and housewife-hood. Guiding Light, As the World Turns, The Young and the Restless weren't made for YOU, they were made for the oppressed women in this country (because women couldn't work outside the home, it was a woman's job to care for the home and the children and the husband. Hollywood catering to slaves in the home was the very LEAST they could do for women.) It was the Women's Rights movement that pretty much paved the way for blacks (even helping (however accidental) black men get the right to vote before even themselves were granted that right) and gays, and now YOU. Yes the YOU I'm referring to is the T in LGBT (or as most of the "I'm politically correct when I have to be, and not when I don't have to be” individuals would point out, you need to tack on about a million more letters to that, to actually be inclusive.) Trans people are just a "blah" to me. I try not to be judgemental toward them (I too once wanted to be a woman) and for the most part (this post notwithstanding) am successful in being kind and respectful toward them. It's when A) "they" (sounds prejudice right? LoL) it's when they get that "I'm offended if people don't know how I expect them to treat me" mindset. Bitch, I'm a gay man. I was born one, and I'll die one. It ain't my business to know how you think I should be treating you. (And FYI, most of the T's that throw a stink are just in a phase. No, it's true. Even if they're already taking hormones, or just dressing in ladies clothes, they're going to eventually (for whatever reason) come to realize that they're fine just the way they are. Be mad at me, but I speak the truth.)

So why then do we (as a society) have to one day use a different set of pronouns, and a different set the next to address people? It is my humble opinion that we shouldn't have to. I am not your daddy and I shouldn't have to walk on eggshells and get grilled every time you wake up with a sudden chemical change in your head that makes you want to be a girl today, or a boy today. In fact, ya only got one mommy and one daddy in this world, and they're the only ones who should have to do that sort of bending back and forth to accommodate your mental instability, not the whole rest of society. The world does not revolve around you, so quit trying to piggyback on MY RIGHTS as a gay man, or HER RIGHTS as a lesbian.

I mean, it was fine when the T was a small manageable figure. It was okay when I (or many of the other little gay boys out there) dressed up in their mother's or sister's clothes and makeup and pretended we were girls. The good parents let their children live out their FANTASIES, and the bad parents beat them into submission (I was raised in a homophobic, black-phobic, pretty much everything-phobic household). Some of us even went on to live out our fantasies of being born another gender by performing in bars. This came to be known as drag. In either case we all eventually came back down to Earth realizing that we are who we are, and that there's nothing wrong with that. Now I'll admit, some, not all transgender people, actually live their lives in the role of a SEX they were not born as, always wanted to, and always will 'til the day they leave Earth. Those are the ones I will grant "expected" proper pronouns to. Those are the ones who are actually trans. But this guy, the one who posted this picture, he is not trans, and like I said, he, like all the others, came back down to Earth after he played out his fantasy. He is now content being a man, as he was born.

Anyway this is just me soapboxing (join me, wont you?) In closing I'd just like to say this: The "regular" trans people have (however unknowingly) opened the door to not only confused "I'm a girl, I'm a boy" gay people wanting everyone to bow down and serve their allusive junk, but straight people are gender-bending now too. And THAT IS ANNOYING AS FUCK! I bet you the first transgender individual didn't foresee that happening. I guess I personally don't get it. I mean, I understand a gay guy and a gay girl wishing they had been born with different junk, but it goes way over my head why any straight person would ever want to live life in another sex. I mean, you FTM straight people, do you really think that a gay guy like me could ever wanna bone you? Seriously? You were born a girl who likes guys, and want to be a guy who likes guys??? What planet are you from? Who's your doctor? I needs ta get me one-a-doze yo! You make not a bit of sense and are a mockery of my community, whose only purpose seems to be to set us back a few dozen years.I love the show Shameless, but that whole gay guy & trans guy storyline just isn’t reality.

Anyway, I invite logical, thoughtful comments, but get rude wid me n u gonna get cut da fuck off yo lol

PEACE

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