#It's quick it's scary and it makes you feel less safe because you don't have the luxury of nightvision mode

[coupleoffanfics]

Batfam and batsis y/n headcons

y/n's Younger Years

8-12 years old

y/n was brought to the manor for the first time when she was 8 years old. Often got lost in the place because of how big it is the first week. If she couldn't find where she was trying to get to and no one was around to help, she'd just slump against the wall. Silently cry until someone was passing by, it was usually Alfred.

Jason just became Robin when y/n rolls in. He doesn't have much of an option of her for the first few weeks. Thought she was annoying with how much she cried and how clingy she was.

She clings to anyone because she doesn't want to be left alone in general and especially not in an unfamiliar environment. Alfred became her favorite first because of his cooking and baking. Jason is the second person she clings to. The only reason Bruce is in third place is because Jason just looked less scary.

When Bruce and Jason come back from a rough mission, Alfred walks up to the both of them before handing them each a paper. "Miss y/n made this for you before going to bed."  The two pieces of paper were drawings of their hero personas. Both written at the top, "My #1 hearo!". The misspell adds to the charm of the crayon drawing.

Sometimes if y/n and Jason happen to be in the library at the same time. She asks him what a word is, what it means, and how to pronounce it. It's kinda cute, until it happens every 3 minutes. He didn't think much of it, just thought that she was just a dumb kid being a dumb kid.

Later speculates that she might be dyslexic and lets y/n reads out loud to him. Helping her sound out the words and whatnot. Surprisingly he finds himself enjoying helping her and kinda looks forward to these readings. He notices how her reading gets more fluent as time goes on and he can't help but feel proud.

Before going off on a mission or patrol, y/n always hugs Bruce. If he's going on a mission she makes sure to hug him longer and tighter. Explaining, "To give you more power to be safe." Does not understand what the hell she's saying, but still appreciates it.

"Why don't you give Jason a hug?" Bruce asks after hearing the explanation. "Because Jason is already strong and protects you. You need as much strength." Bruce kinda just sits there more confused than ever and Jason is smirking to himself. He doesn't understand what y/n said himself, but what he does know is that she said he was stronger than Bruce and that's all he needed to hear.

Whenever Dick comes around to visit, he tries to make an effort to connect with y/n. She already has Alfred, Jason, and Bruce so she doesn't really feel the need to care about him on a deeper level. He's barely there and she already has enough people that she can cling on to.

He'll show off his acrobatic skills and y/n just drily says, "That's cool." Then runs off to find Jason. He's totally not hurt by the fact that his little sister likes Jason more than him. What? No.

It's not like he wanted a poorly drawn Nightwing that had, "#1 hearo", written on it. That he'd treasure and keep forever. No, he didn't care about that. Yep, not one bit. Though sadly he's not able try to bond with y/n as much as he'd liked since he's leading the Titans.

Barbara isn't around when y/n is usually awake. Often handle cams and technical things as Oracle. Though when they do interact y/n just in awe simply by the fact that she's still working in the hero field after what Joker did. Training hard, so that she'd live up to Barbara's legacy as Batgirl.

The two aren't too close yet when y/n is young, but they're definitely closer than y/n is with Dick. y/n totally didn't have a puppy crush on Barbara for the longest time. Okay, she did for a bit.

A year in the manor, Bruce begins to train y/n more. Taking note of how she's quick on her feet, but her punches are slower than her kicks. Is worried how much she looks up to Jason because Jason is rather reckless and doesn't mind putting himself in danger. Honestly he would have liked it if she just looked up to Dick or someone else.

Batman isn't about violence as ironic as it sounds. Violence is only to be used when there is no other way to stop one from harming others. So Bruce was kinda worried that y/n might take a more brash approach by following Jason, but it turned out to be the opposite.

Almost reminded him of Dick with her passive approach. Almost because she's just a bit too passive at times. It takes three years for y/n to be able to take on the Batgirl persona. Mainly because it's taken a while for her not just to dodge, but also take action by attacking.

Taking action probably wouldn't have come sooner if it wasn't for Jason's death. Hearing the news was hard for everyone. y/n was put to bed before it happened, so she was told of what happened by Bruce the next morning. Not saying any explicit details.

Everything around her seemed so much more somber. The man that was telling her what happened while looking away from her felt surreal. It was like losing her parents again.

She became numb. She heard the words and understood them, she just couldn't believe it. Not even when she watched his casket being lowered into the ground, she couldn't believe it.

Seeing how Bruce was putting on a straight face made things harder. It was like nothing had happened. She knew when she was older that was far from the case, but at the time it made her feel like that's what she had to do as well. He spent more time being Batman, that meant she'd spend more time training.

It worries Barbara and Alfred seeing how both of them are becoming closed off. Barbara takes note of how often y/n looks at Jason's memorial. When she tries to comfort y/n, the girl is quick to avoid the conversation. She might just walk away if Barbara keeps pressing on the subject.

Less time playing or drawing. More time in the batcave and avoiding the library. Months after everything Bruce allows her to pick up the Batgirl persona.

Putting on the suit for the first time didn't feel as grand as she thought it would. It left a bitter taste in her mouth. She wanted to rip it off because it felt like there was no point. It felt like all this constant training to be Batgirl was all for nothing. She came up with this fantasy that becoming a hero would free her from this numbness, that it’d make her happy just like it had Jason. Yet all it did was remind her that maybe if she tried harder to become Batgirl sooner that she could have a chance at saving him. She wished she could have hugged him before saying goodnight that night.

The only reason she didn't rip off it and burn the suit was because Bruce was waiting. There was no time to waste since Poison Ivy was on the radar tonight.

Jason's name is rarely said, but thought of more often than not. The only time y/n and Barbra openly talked about him was after dealing with the Joker and Quinn.

y/n didn't immediately leave the batcave like usual after every patrol or mission. She just stood in front of his memorial staring at the costume while Bruce left to do something that y/n didn't care about. It was just y/n and Barbara alone in the cave. "I miss him." Her voice echoed out nearly scared Barbara.

Barbara stopped what she was doing and responded with, "I do too." She waited for a moment to see if y/n would keep talking. She didn't want to push it since this is the first time y/n is even openly talking about him.

After the brief silence y/n asked, "He's in a better place, right? That means I shouldn't be sad, but I still miss him. I don't care if he's in a better place like everyone says, I want him back here with us." That's what opened the floodgates. The rest of the night was spent talking about the late Robin and helping y/n with accepting his death. Also giving her a new found eagerness towards being Batgirl and forming a strong bond with Barbara.

There was no chance of her saving Jason back then, but now she can at least save others from facing the same fate as him.

Then Tim crashes in and suddenly y/n has another brother. If Bruce thought he was good then y/n thought so too. Originally she thought that she wasn't going to be that close to Tim, but they just clicked. Tim thought y/n was so cool when she put on her suit and fought crime with Bruce. He couldn't wait to fight alongside both of them.

y/n saw Tim as a geekier and nerdier Barbra honestly. He may be smarter than Barbra, but she'll always be the best one in y/n opinion.

Tim would try to teach y/n how to hack or code since she showed interest in it, but she never got the hang of it. It usually just resulted in them goofing around. Lounging on the couch while playing video games. Tim was more into games that have sci fi themes, while y/n liked to play fantasy games, but they both loved RPGs. It's clear who was putting more thought in the game because y/n just spams attack and Tim is writing down the crit rates.

By the time Tim comes around, y/n is starting to babble in culinary. If she finishes making something, she'll wander around to find him. Makes him put down whatever he's doing to try what she made. She insists that she doesn't have a favorite when shoving food in Tim's face. "You're my lab rat. Testing if my cooking is edible before I give it to Pa, Alfred, or Barbara."

They used to have the same classes until Tim was able to skip a grade. y/n doesn't tell anyone that she's upset about it, but everyone can tell and Tim makes sure to reassure her. "It's not like we're going to never see each other again, y/n. We'll see each other in the halls and during lunch." She sighs, "I know, I know. Just let me wallow in my feelings and I'll be fine."

When there are low days for y/n that make it impossible for her to get out of bed, Tim sits in her room. Chatting about anything and not leaving her alone unless asked. It's nice that he does that, yet it still makes her feel bad for making him stay with her. It's not like she asked for company and she does need it during those moments. It made her feel like a liability.

Everyone is happy to see y/n and Tim getting along so well. y/n hasn't been as talkative or lively since Jason.

When Tim becomes Robin, y/n is put off by how much he resembles Jason. It kinda scared her. She never realized how similar they both look. It makes her wonder if that's why Bruce adopted Tim and allowed him to become Robin.

Catwoman has a soft spot for the newest Batgirl. She just watches her run around with Batman and Robin. There's just a sense of goofiness to the new Batgirl that she can't take seriously.

y/n's Teenage Years

13- 18 years old

The whole Red Hood ark left y/n with a broken arm, bruises, and wondering if this was what she wanted. It was nice to see Jason again, but it felt like she couldn't approach him. Also spending a lot of time in the batcave with Barbara and Alfred since she couldn't patrol with a broken arm. "At least he didn't break my dominant arm." y/n chuckled to herself humorously, Barbara doesn't laugh and glances at y/n. Barbara didn't find anything funny about it and she's sure y/n didn't either, she was probably still in shock.

Barbara is kinda mad at Jason, may or may not want to run over his foot with her wheelchair. Of course, she understands the betrayal and anger that he feels. She just thinks trying to take out y/n as well is a bit much, well everything that he's doing it a bit much. She just thought out of everyone y/n would be given the most mercy by Jason.

Jason may have forgiven Batman and everyone to an extent, but she just can't help herself from feeling guilty. Of course, she noticed that not only did he distance himself from the family, but her as well. He'd never be in the same room with y/n long enough for her to ask how he was doing. It made her believe that he was resentful toward her. It didn't matter if that wasn't the case, it just hurt that the person she's been missing for years doesn't want anything to do with her.

The thought of if there was even a point to any of this came up once more. Tim was joining the Titans for a bit, Jason was off on his own, Dick was in Blüdhaven or something y/n didn't care, and Bruce and Barbara were doing what they always do. It just wasn't as appealing as it once was. It almost became stale and she found herself feeling happier doing less action packed things.

Then one night y/n impulsively said that she wanted to quit to Burce. It wasn't a surprise to him as he saw her diverging from the path and let her drop the Batgirl persona. Honestly he was glad that she quit, he wished that his other kids would choose to live a normal life. That was one less child to worry about getting killed.

Of course, Barbara is the first to question y/n about her decision. A little while later Tim is the one trying to get an answer out of y/n. Jason is too ashamed to ask or even be near y/n. Dick doesn't find out until a month later after visiting the manor then starts asking if y/n was okay this and that. None of them got a concrete answer except for Barbara.

"It's something I'm not interested in anymore. I want to live a normal life, get married, and have kids. I'm not going to truly have that if I stay as Batgirl. And I'm not like any of you. I'm not good enough, I'm never good enough. Gotham never needed me anyway and they won't be losing anything because I quit."

Hearing that, Barara immediately opened her arms signaling for a hug. Feeling overwhelmed from spilling out her feelings, y/n accepted the hug. "I understand and I won't stop you. If being Batgirl doesn't make you happy, that's perfectly fine. You deserve happiness just like everyone else. The only thing I'm against is you calling yourself worthless. You were a good- no you were amazing as Batgirl and you are amazing when you aren't. Remember that."

Tears are running down the girl's [skin tone] face. Her throat was tight and she knew she couldn't talk without making a guttural sound. So she nodded her head. Barbara held y/n until she let go. Wiping the tears from her face, she turned to Barbara and said, "Please don't tell the others about this." Barbara kept this between them.

It's clear that out of the whole family that Barbara is the first and really only one y/n goes to for emotional support. y/n hates crying in front of anyone seeing it as her personal weakness. y/n is close to Tim, he doesn't know how to respond to y/n's emotions. Barbara seemed to always know what to say and y/n felt more comfortable being vulnerable around her.

The drift from the family isn't noticeable. y/n comes down to the batcave from time to time, but her time there is greatly cut in half. She starts hanging around her best friend, Norah, more often. Joins the track and fencing club seemingly not able to let go of some old habits.

When Tim leaves for the Titans the mark of when y/n and the family drift apart. There's small chat and not complete strangers. When Tim does come back he has taken on a new persona of Red Robin.

It's just a normal day, y/n is messing around in the kitchen when Tim comes up to her. There's just a strong air of anxiety around him that makes her anxious. "y/n, I need to tell you something." She puts down the cookbook and looks at him with a raised eyebrow. He takes a deep breath, "I'm bisexual." y/n's shoulders suddenly relax and she starts laughing.

He's confused and not sure what to do. She quickly explains through her laughter, "I'm sorry. I just thought you were going to say something horrible like you ran over a cat or something. I don't know." Taking a moment to calm herself she adds, "That's cool, I'm bi/pan. I also need to go to the bathroom, could you please watch the water and make sure it doesn't boil over? Please and thank you!"

She doesn't make a big deal over it because she just sees it as normal. It's nothing to celebrate about in her opinion, but she's glad Tim trusted her enough to tell her. Most of the family probably doesn't know her sexuality since she hasn't openly said it. It's just something that she doesn't feel the need to talk about.

Damian enters the picture when it's been almost a year since y/n quit. She is completely put off by how he behaves and has no idea how to handle it. He likes picking on his siblings, but when he picks on y/n it almost seems malicious. Whenever she tries to bond with him or get to know him, he just snaps at her.

Now she kinda knows how Dick felt.

Speaking of Dick, he starts coming around the manor more. Only for Damin of course and y/n can't help but feel almost a little jealous. He never took her out for bowling or anything when she was Damian's age. That jealousy then evaporates seconds later because she realizes how to stupid it is to be jealous over that. Damian needs a lot of help to be integrated into normal society.

Jabs made at her are brushed off as she believes that it's just him coping. He was in a new environment with new people, it was only natural for him to cope in some way regardless if it was healthy or not. His insults were never that bad. Often consisting of calling her worthless.

They were just jabs and nothing more. Not knowing that it was chipping away at her already fragile self confidence. Damian is part of the reason why she doesn't go to the batcave anymore or talk at the dinner table. Also always has something to say, something to nitpick. With how consistent it is, y/n goes to Bruce.

Asking if he could tell Damian to just knock it off just once. She thought that he'd talk to Damian and that things will cool down since she can't even get a word in without him saying something. It's not like he never listened to her anyway. Then Bruce tells her to bush it off. He's just a kid and he's going through a lot. Bruce doesn't even look up from his paperwork when saying this.

It was like y/n was smacked in the face. She wonders if he believes what Damian is saying. That she had no right to be living here with them or that just a freeloader. She felt like she couldn't go to Tim about this as she didn't want to emit that this kid's words were getting to her. She doesn't even want to go to Barbara about this.

Because maybe Damian is right.

y/n didn't deserve to be around heroes. All she did was waste their time when they could have been saving lives. They'd go to her fencing tournaments when they should be locking up villains. She was truly a waste of space.

Lowkey Damian wants y/n to fight him. He wants to see Batgirl in action and see what her fighting style would be like. To some extent he just wants her attention, but how he goes about it just pushes her away. He's seen her fencing a few times and is kinda impressed by her fast and fluent movements.

During her junior year at high school was when she started cutting off ties with the family. Never talking during dinner, never showing up at the dinner table. If she's not out of the manor then she's in her room. Everyone is so busy that no one notices her isolating herself. No one, but Barbara.

Barbara tries talking to y/n, but she is constantly shutting it down. Constantly running away from any conversion. Yet Barbara doesn't give up as usual. Unlike any other times y/n doesn't open up.

One day Barbara said something that made y/n let her walls down. "I'll alway make time for you." She stops walking, thinking to herself before looking over her shoulder and tells Barbara, "I have practice next monday, but after that we could go see a movie or something. If you want." The woman nods her head with a small smile.

Tim is no longer y/n's favorite. Not favorite, just no longer the one y/n hangs out with the most. Barbara is the only family member that y/n lets her walls down for. The only family member that she keeps in touch with.

When y/n gets a boyfriend. y/n makes a beeline toward Barbara for any advice. With how much she gushes over him, Barbara wants to meet him. It takes a while for the two to meet and when they do it's kinda awkward. Xander Jeremiah is every stoic and not sociable. Barbara doesn't know what to think of him, but if he does care about y/n that's all that really matters. 

Seeing the two of them interact reminds Barbara of those dumb intj and infp relationship memes she saw online.

y/n Young Adult (Present)

19 years old

y/n doesn't really tell the family much of any and would not be surprised if they didn't know she moved out after high school. As much as y/n wanted to get out of Gotham, she ended up staying because of best friend and boyfriend. Going to college and majoring in art. Barbara and y/n spend a little less time with each other, but still text almost daily.

y/n is forced to interact with her family after Jerome becomes a prominent figure in Gotham and has some odd obsession with her. After an incident at a charity event, y/n is persuaded into staying in the manor. She planned on staying for only a week or so. At least until Jerome was caught and sent to Arkham.

Damian is more mellowed out and almost makes an effort to talk to y/n, but she just tries to get away from him as soon as possible.

Tim is concerned about the aloofness y/n projects around others. Also highly suspicious of that blonde lady that comes around to talk to y/n. She's never been so secretive before and it hurts that she doesn't come to him about anything like she used to.

Jason still tries not to interact with y/n, but he lingers around the manor. He can't bring himself to forgive himself for physically hurting her all those years ago. He promised himself that he'd protect his little sister when he was Robin and broke it again by letting Gotham's newest psycho kidnap her.

Dick acts like everything is fine or is going to be fine. That he and y/n had always been somewhat close. Not taking a hint that he's overstepped a boundary that he never had the right to cross.

Bruce is Bruce. Bruceing around or something, y/n doesn't really know what he does anymore. He's the one who suggests that y/n relearn self defense and she agrees. It's been awhile since she even fought anyone, so she is a bit rusty.

Damian would have offered to teach her, but Dick and Tim are fighting over the possession. Tim wants to reconnect with y/n, back to being friends that have each other's backs. Dick is trying to help y/n. He has the most fighting exprace, so that means he should be the one to teach y/n. Jason is not going near y/n. In the end y/n had Bruce reteach her self defense. It was just like old times.

The whole time there the family is awkwardly interacting with y/n. When at the dinner table there are questions thrown at her. She answers just about any question almost curtly. The only question that she seems to avoid is about the blond lady. "She's just a friend." y/n claims, "Everyone just calls her Echo. It is a childhood name." It was clear that she was lying, everyone knew it, but no one called it out.

They always talked in private. In hushed tones and "Echo" never stayed for long. Honestly Tim thought that Echo was y/n's girlfriend after walking by her room when Echo was in there, he swears he heard y/n say I love you. When Tim told the other about this, Barbara was rolling her eyes. There was no way that y/n would cheat on Xander. Even if they broke up Barbara would have known, she assumes that y/n meant it in a platonic way. y/n has always been quite affectionate in both platonic and romantic relationships.

When Jerome is caught and sent to Arkham, y/n goes straight back to her apartment. It doesn't matter how much they try to get her to stay, Jerome is locked up and there is no reason for any intense security. If they try to counter her argument, she'll just drop the act and lay almost everything out.

"I don't want to be here, I don't belong here, and there isn't anything that is going to keep me here now that Jerome is in Arkham." Her voice wasn't loud, just tired and almost upset.

The most affected by her words is Damian ironically. Her words echo the things he said a while ago. He never gave a second thought of how it affected her. Hearing y/n say that and walk out the manor without looking back left him stunned. He didn't know what to do, what to say. That night he didn't sleep.

The family will try to keep their distance. Except for Damian and Dick. Dick will hang around the college campus and try to drag y/n off somewhere, if her best friend is with her then they'll drag her away before Dick is even able to say anything. Sadly her friend isn't always there, so there are some days she spends the afternoon at the zoo or amusement park with Dick. Damian will just show up at y/n's apartment and walk in like he owns the place. She has no idea how he got a spare key, but she is too busy trying to get him out to think about that.

Damian finds out y/n is in a big sister program and he'll screeching at her. "Why are you taking care of them? You're my big sister, not theirs! They don't have the right to call you their sister!" He's having a mental meltdown in the middle of her living room. She has no idea what the fuck it going on and doesn't know how to handle it. When she tries to calm him down, he starts throwing things and that's when she dials Dick's number.

Dick is able to calm Damian down and drives him back to the manor. Before they go Dick talks y/n. "You know how Damian is, he is very protective of those he cares about. I am just disappointed in both of you. He should haven't reacted that way, but you shouldn't be in that program in the first place. You already have Danian and I think this just made him feel like he isn't important to you." y/n has a severe case of whiplash after hearing what he just said. She can't argue back because he already left.

The rest of the family isn't going to become full blown yanderes until y/n's boyfriend is gassed by Jerome. y/n doesn't want to deal with the family's bullshit, but she goes to them for help. Revealing Jerome's twin brother, but not explicitly stating that Jeremiah is her boyfriend and begs for them to help in finding a cure. Barbara is the one in the room who is the most shocked by this information.

Spoiler they don't find a cure and when Jeremiah is pushed over the edge, that’s around the time they are too.

I'm cutting it off here. I wrote so much and I might pick this back up. I’ve just been listening to FNAF ambience music while writing this. Have yet to proofread this, so sorry for any and all mistakes.

Part 2

#batfamily x batsis #batfamily x reader #yandere batfamily x reader #jason todd x reader #richard grayson x reader #dick grayson x batsis #tim drake x reader #damian wayne x batsis #yandere x reader #barbara gordon x reader

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

I just got a juvenile mexican black kingsnake, and, against all odds, given the species, we've had trouble getting him to eat. He's not in shed (which we know because he literally just shed like a few days ago and all feeding attempts since have still been unsuccessful, though he seems hungry).

He's very active, but only at night (according to some sources I've read mbks can sometimes switch between diurnal and nocturnal behavior so I think that's probably what's going on). We've tried feeding him both at night and during the day.

Part of the problem is that he's a bit skittish, and so he often freaks out and leaves at the sight of the tongs. We've tried our best to leave him alone and make sure he has a chance to calm down and adjust, but still no dice. (We didn't start trying to feed him until a solid week after I got him. All feeding attempts have been in his enclosure).

One of my concerns is that he might not recognize the frozen thawed pinkie as food, given that the pet store we got him from only fed live to their baby snakes.

Any tips or advice for things we could try? He hasn't started to loose weight or anything yet, but he's gone twice as long without food now than I've seen recommended for an MBK his age and as a first time snake owner I'm starting to get worried.

Sorry about your problem child! It's always so stressful when a new snake doesn't want to eat.

Are you leaving the food in his enclosure for a while? It's completely fine if a snake doesn't want to eat from the tongs, and in fact probably 90% of all the kingsnakes I've ever had preferred me just putting their food down for them and then leaving the room when they were small. You can leave f/t mice in the enclosure for a few hours with no issues at all.

One upside to your situation is that there's honestly not a lot of difference between live and f/t pinkies. There's not a lot of movement going on either way, so as long as you're making sure the food is warm, he should be able to recognize it no problem.

I encourage you to think about how you can make this as easy for him as possible! You're right to try feeding when he's active (kingsnakes are active whenever they damn well please, so don't worry about the timing), but a big suggestion I have for you is to try ditching the tongs for now. If they spook him, don't use 'em - genuinely, it's gross, but it might help him if you just use your hands to sit the mouse down in his enclosure for him to find (make sure to wash your hands afterwards, obviously). There's no law that says a snake has to eat from the tongs, and drop-feeding is a lot less scary for lots of baby colubrids especially. I drop-feed most of my colubrids until they're a couple years old and gain some confidence.

You said he seems hungry, but I'm going to ask you to do a quick husbandry check-in anyway. Make sure his warm side is set to around 85 F and he's got water to drink, and ensure his enclosure feels nice and cluttered. Feeling safe will help a snake's appetite; make sure he has at least two identical hides (at least one on either side) and his enclosure doesn't feel empty. Cardboard tubes and crumpled paper towels are good, cheap clutter. It's easy to over-offer when a new snake won't eat, but also make sure you're waiting at least five days between offering - too frequent and you could spook him.

I really think that he'll probably take it for you if you ditch the tongs for now and make sure he's given plenty of time to find it left in his enclosure. Try not to worry too much - if he's not losing weight, he's okay. There's fearmongering articles out there that say baby kingsnakes can only go a week without food before they start to starve; that's nonsense. I've spoken about my buddy Ed on here before, he's also an MBK and he was seriously sick when I got him, he was just a couple months old and he still went months without eating before he got really sick (he's fine now and a phenomenal eater, don't worry!). No healthy snake is going to starve themselves, especially if you're taking care to ensure your husbandry is appropriate.

#not a rating #kingsnakes #pet snake advice #snake feeding

[classificationhell]

So in the sacrifice au with mouningstar would he feel guilty if his little had trauma from that insta kill that he gave them? Like maybe they'd be terrified with despite how quick and painless it was when he killed them that they'd be terrified he'd do it again or maybe they developed PTSD or something from it. Because I'm not gonna lie despite how quick and painless he tried to make it, it's scary going from a moment of this short scary king killed all those people but he's being nice to me, maybe he's somewhat safe-! WERE UNDER WATER-! WHERE AM I?! OH MY GOD ITS HIM! DONT TOUCH ME!

The thing about this is if he did teleport you both under the sea in a trench, you wouldn't even have time to process it. (For reference according to Google it takes no less than 100 milliseconds for the brain to process pain and around 13 milliseconds to process things visually, for reference the now infamous recent submarine incident was at 12,500 ft (3.81 km according to a convertor) when it imploded and it took less than one millisecond. Now imagine if you will the unprotected human body in the deepest parts of the Mariana Trench at an estimated 35,814 ft (10.91 km) there is absolutely no time for any pain or processing of the information, it's just poof and you're gone)

In a way, that's more terrifying, though, because one moment you're watching the literal devil kill each of the cult members and then he hugs you and suddenly you're falling into hell.

However, odds are you were at the very least stabbed before this since blood of the innocent would be required to summon him in the first place. If he's lucky he can convince you that you simply were beyond saving, but it's okay he will take care of you now. Things are very different here and as a newly fallen Little you'll need his help even more. May fly you over a few of the more violent sections of hell on the way home as a kinda scare tactic to prove just how much you need him.

If you happen to be a little traumatized, don't worry, Daddy's here for you and will help you through this difficult transition. If the traumatization happens to make you more accepting of your position as his babygirl then surely no one could blame him if it takes a little longer, or forever, for him to help you through it.

Sooo he does have the bit of guilt but if it helps him get closer to them then it's definitely muted, and if it doesn't he's more guilty but firmly believes it was a necessity.

#ask response #classification hell au #classificationhell #thank you #lore adjacent #lucifer mourningstar #reactions #yandere lucifer #yandere hazbin hotel

[little-worm-grant]

Steven's pov: Dropping By

Marc Spector & Steven Grant & Reader

691 words / Masterlist.

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Summary: Marc's trying to do something nice for someone he likes, but Steven comes out instead.

Sand slipped out from the gaps between his fingers. Watching it fall back into the desert seas. He didn’t know how long he’d been there, but it started to feel like home among the ruins. He knew now this was where Marc almost died. Where Khonshu took advantage of him. How funny that it seemed to have become Steven’s serenity. How he kept returning to this specific place. He didn’t want to be anywhere else. He wouldn’t look at the lines in the sand of where a body had dragged itself up the steps. Or the stains of blood. Or the bodies outside. Inside there. For the smallest of moments. He felt safe.

Then his mom walked in. Wasn’t the first time she’d shown up somewhere in his headspace. He used to greet the arrival wholeheartedly. The illusion of all those good memories had crumbled away long ago. He didn’t greet her with a hug or joy. He slowly backed away when she approached, causing her to stop. Eyes glanced down to her empty hands and finding that alone still scared him. Something else coiled around in his chest. An underlying wound he felt whenever he thought about what she did to Marc. To them.

“I’m sorry mom. I gotta say it. What you did, it weren’t right.”

He expected her to strike him but she didn’t move. Didn’t smile. Looked less like the mom he knew and more like the mom Marc knew. It was unnerving. Didn’t stop him from continuing. The words bubbled out in his building resentments.

“I never said goodbye. I just wanted a mom that loved me and all I got was this. You were supposed to protect us. You were supposed to love him unconditionally. I want you gone. Out of my head. For good. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

She stepped forward and Steven cowered back into the corner. Trapped. His hand coming up to his mouth. Fear and apprehension bit into his every word. He covered his face to hide.

“Get out please. Go. I need you to leave me alone. Go please. Go away. Go-”

“You're safe. Steven. Take some deep breaths.”

The yank back to reality was so quick he hadn’t realized the words were being muttered while he kept his face covered. He popped up in a daze. Overthrowing Marc from the front so he could ground himself. Entirely disorientated and not even sure where the hell they were. An apartment, but not his own. Relief of not being back there washed over him.

“Yeah. Alright, yeah. Doin’ loads better.”

“Sure? You were wigging out a second ago.”

“I’m fine. Super. Why wouldn’t I be? What’re we doing here for?”

Marc went quiet, finally. He could think. Steven was standing in some rando’s kitchen. Food everywhere in the middle of preparation. Was he making himself a flipping sandwich??

“You didn’t break in here did you?”

“I did but it's a friends place-“

“Marc. We talked about this. We can’t be showing up places unannounced. Vampires don’t go in places they haven’t been invited and raid the cupboards, neither should we. It’s just rude.”

“That’s not how vampires work and it ain’t for me. Here. Let me take over. I'll finish up and we'll go.”

"Oh no, mister. No. It's my body too and you're not booting me out again. I didn't even know you could make friends until you let me meet that nice angry lady and handsome devil. What happened with those translations anyway?"

"Steven-"

A door opened and Steven spun around looking alarmed. Looking around and going for the closest thing. Spatula. Not sure if he was going to throw it or fend off an attack with it.

"Ello!" He tried to make it sound light and casual. Entirely less scary than being in his own head. A small wave with the spatula before bringing it back into a two-handed hug against his chest. "I'm making sandwiches. I think. I don't really know what I'm making actually. Is this your place? Do you want me to go? Because I can. Willingly. I won't be a problem."

#steven grant #marc spector #moon knight #moon knight rp #oscar isaac #open rp #open starter #stevens pov

[theflyindutchwoman]

The Road to Chenford - The realisation

The show has always been vague enough that we can all interpret differently when Tim and Lucy started realising their feelings were more than platonic. I wonder if we're going to have more insights on that regard now. In the meantime, let's speculate : what was the moment you think they had their "come to Jesus" moment?

Here's how I see things :

. Up until the end of season 3 - Friends (and TO/rookie).

When they met, they were under a very strict work imbalance of power (as hot it is in fanfiction, this is messy in real life). Any initial feelings of attraction there might have been, I'm pretty sure these were sublimated real quick. Not to mention that both were in relationships (dysfunctional but still there) and clearly not in that heads pace. Towards the end of season 1 and in season 2, we see them get closer. Tim let her set him up, something he would never have agreed before. They talk about their personal life in the shop. After Day of Death, the shift becomes stronger : they are less and less TO/rookie and more equals in the way Tim treats her (but not paper). It's obvious they care about the other very much. In 3.09, we have the infamous prank about feelings : between the way Lucy is easily able to crack up about it and the surprised and panicked face Tim makes, it's supposed to make us feel that if the feelings are there, they still don't realise it. Ironically Lucy is not wrong in her assessment, she just didn't fully get it yet. They are able to bounce back to being them real fast too, without much awkwardness. And then Angela's wedding happened (well technically it didn't but bear with me).

. Angela's wedding - The attraction Part

That's really the moment where it hits them both I think. The elevator eyes, the open flirting about the UC flirting, catching the other's eyes... While still being a superior officer, they are no longer in each other's direct chain of command. So it probably makes it easier to lower their guards. Tragedy strikes but we still see some remnants of this attraction at Tim's house. I honestly think Lucy was ready to risk it all, but I'm glad they got interrupted. Grief is hardly a good place to start something so important. Again, hot, but messy. I wish we didn't have the time jump, but I surmise Lucy was so adamant to become Tim's aide because it was safe. She had just lost her best friend, her life and job are full of uncertainties so being back to their old relationship was comforting. It's familiar, she knows how to navigate into this world.

And despite everything, their friendship really strengthens. Sure they date other people, but who do they confide in when it's tough or when in doubt? We even have Tim practically admit it after the double date : Lucy is comfort.

. The Practice Kiss - And so it begins...

I think Lucy has her moment slightly before actually. When she realises that Tim could get married, her heartbroken face spoke volume. I think it's really the moment where it hits her that there's something more and that she could lose him. Up until now, there was no real reason to worry : they always came up first. If he gets married, things might change. But it took the kiss for Tim to catch up. Poor boy got his brain broken so many nights that time, it's no wonder it stopped working. Also, Lucy's hopeful, then disappointed face when she thought Tim was going to talk about that kiss, makes me feel she is on the same page, they just don't know it yet. Something that was so comfortable becomes uncertain and that's scary.

There's a small detail that I think illustrate this perspective : the parking lot. Up until 4.22, all the major Chenford moments that took place in the parking lot, they happened underground. As a  way to suggest that the feelings are there, we can see them on their face, but they're buried underneath. But after the kiss, after they got their reality check, the location switch to outside… In plain view. Even the conversation they have about giving their relationship a chance to blossom happens nearby (the parking lot is just a bit further on the side if my geography is not fully messed up).

After that, they are both aware, but Lucy lets her fears win temporarily (and with the Rosalind's shadow looming over her, it's not too hard to sympathise). And yet, both still took a step forward in the apartment but Rosalind was not having it.

So why didn't they break up with Ashley and Chris? For Lucy, it's easy to answer : she's feeling guilty and decides to make amends by punishing herself. But her heart is not in it. For Tim, I think it's all about the safety : why break things up if nothing is going to change? He's craving for a family (not necessarily the children, he almost seems to have given up on that). If Lucy is not interested, why not stay with Ashley. Is it fair? No. But I'm sure many of us have been there.

#The rookie #Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #It's a love story baby #I love their relationship so much #Little notes on a piece of paper #Character Study #Meta Analysis

[sciderman]

Heyy, low key weird quick question but does ur blog have like a dni/dnf age?[like dni if under 16 or 18 or over whatever age]. Just wanted to ask because I don't wanna push any boundaries and stuff! Sorry sorry dude!

Btw hope ya have a great afternoon/morning/night!:]]

i'm kind of of the opinion that anyone can interact with whatever content they feel safe and comfortable interacting with, and i don't believe in any policy on policing content (not that i'd be able to stop you anyway) but please don't interact with me directly on adult topics (it's weird. don't do that. don't do that to anyone.) i'd definitely hope that most people i interact with here are at least 16+ - i'd worry a little if there's anyone younger out there - please, go play some video games and come back when you're older.

i do think it's good for teens to see content that talks about sex and sexuality openly and lightheartedly, to make it less scary - lord knows, i needed that as a teenager. i was so sheltered and so scared.

this blog discusses sex and stuff like a whole lot. like a lot. it's kind of approached lightheartedly, but it's still very adult in nature! i think it's up to you to gauge if it's a comfortable space for you, but please remember to keep a safe distance from everything you see online - and if it ever makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe - please, please step away from it.

#sci speaks

[uniquebureau]

I didn’t expect to care this much

The more she looked at it, the less scary it became.

The skull of Balerion, The Black Dread, was looking at her, harmless, yet so monumental it was giving her shivers. She couldn’t imagine what it was for people hundreds of years before, to find themselves fighting against this thing.

Actually, she could. She had met Vhagar.

She was still looking at the giant skull when she felt someone beside her.

Aemond sighed and looked at her, she gave him just a quick glance, he was standing beside her with his hands behind his back.

“How did you know I was here?” she asked, looking away, right into the eyes of the monster in front of them.

“Well,” he admitted. “You weren’t with my sister, your mother, Baela and Rhaena, in the gardens… So or you were here, or sailing to Penthos”

She nodded. “Well, now you found me. Goodbye”

She was walking away when she heard him, he spoke so quickly it was almost unintelligible.

“I’m sorry for what happened yesterday” he muttered.

She turned, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

He blinked, looking down. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you”

She nodded, crossing her arms. If he thought this was enough, he was very wrong.

“What things?” she asked.

He bit his lips and looked at her. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions about you and Jace, and I shouldn’t have forbidden you anything. I wish I had thought one instant more”

Elia held her breath, surprised. “Then why did you do it?”

He closed his eye, sighing, his fists clenched by his side . “Don’t make me say it”

She scoffed. “Goodbye, your grace”

He talked when she had already turned around.

“Because I didn’t expect to care this much” he confessed, while she slowly turned. He looked like someone was trying to pull off his teeth from his mouth. “When I imagined my wedding I thought it would be with a lady I didn’t know, I thought I would have married her, and lived by her side without getting… involved. And now I have no idea what to do with what I feel, this is all new to me”

Elia had to tighten her grip on her gown to not follow her heart and run to him.

“And what made you change your mind?”

"I don't want to be the man I've been yesterday" he admitted. “I don’t want you to be scared when you’re with me,” he told her, coming closer. She didn’t step back. “You should feel safe when you’re with me. You should be yourself when you're with me. I like when you're yourself. I don't care what people say"

Read more on ao3

#aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #house of the dragon fanfic

[waltwhitmansbeard]

hello! a few hours from now, the epilogue of go on, claim my heart, the my fair lady sequel, is gonna be posting, so i wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has stopped by my lil corner of the internet to read what has become my largest writing project to date. i had no idea what i was getting myself into when i first started writing mfl, especially not half a year of feverish, near-obsessive plotting and writing and rewriting this story that would not leave me alone. a lot of things fell to the wayside as i wrote mfl and gocmh, and i don't regret any of it, because i can safely say that this is the writing that i am the most proud of.

i want to thank @romeoandjulietyouwish in particular for her graciously allowing me to play in her sandbox. no one's mind works like lis's, and as i have said before, she comes up with so many fucking stellar ideas that she leaves crumbs for the rest of us, so i'm super grateful that she's so kind about letting us take those crumbs and make them our own. mfl wouldn't exist without you, lis, so thank you, thank you, thank you.

i also could not wrap this series without calling out the two best readers a girl could ask for, @ravendruid and @crispysnake. y'all are fucking unhinged, but it is the exact energy that every writer needs to keep going. i can't tell you the number of times a drabble or chapter posted that i wasn't particularly fond of that you two completely changed my opinion about. you two are the kindest, most enthusiastic, most generous readers, and i'm so lucky that you're also my friends. please continue to be absolutely batshit in my tags; it's the only thing that keeps me going.

(also @otterlycaleb made fucking ART about this shit, what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK—)

a hopefully but probably not quick note about the future of mfl: today, like literally right now, i am in the middle of my first day of work at a brand new job, one that will require me to move my entire life halfway across the country, back to my hometown. it is big and scary and exhilarating and everything i've been hoping for, and i feel so, so lucky. this does mean that for the next little bit, while i learn a new job and pick up my shit and drive cross-country, i will probably be less able to write long or short fics, so i hope y'all don't mind me shutting up for the first time in forever. that being said, while i have absolutely no plans to write a third installment in the mfl 'verse, that doesn't mean there isn't more to say (as y'all will find out in like three and a half hours lol). i fully plan on still writing tmwiw drabbles set before, during, and after mfl/gocmh, and i will still be accepting prompts and requests for drabbles set in this 'verse until i say otherwise. mfl will always occupy an inordinate amount of my brain space, and i refuse to not share that with y'all.

additionally! starting very soon (like, maybe tomorrow? we'll see how busy i am, lol), i will be posting to ao3 the entirety of the mfl 'verse in chronological order. every chapter, one-shot, and drabble, in the order that they happened. another massive shout-out to @ravendruid for being my own personal lore-keeper on this; she read every single mfl chapter, tmwiw drabble, and one-shot to help me get this shit in order. the ao3 work will be titled i've come a long, long way (also from "my fair lady" by kaleo, are we seeing a pattern here?), and the plan is to post five chapters a day until the whole thing is up (although, again, with the moving this might get a lil wibbly wobbly). there will be some additional proofreading edits to these chapters (sometimes i can't spell!!) but nothing about the substance of these chapters will change, so this is just for people who like their stories to be told chronologically (fucking weirdos). this work will only be available on ao3, although it will be linked on my mfl masterpost.

ok, i think i am done for now. i have taken up enough of your time, in so many more ways than one. thank you again, if you read every single installment of the mfl saga or if you just read a paragraph. all of it means the world to me, and i know i never would have continued past the first chapter if i weren't part of such a wonderful, loving, generous, brilliant community. i've only been watching critical role for just over a year now, part of the fandom for even less than that, and i can't believe i haven't always had y'all in my life. please continue to love and support each other, and thank you for loving and supporting me.

#me #my fair lady

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

Insanely deliciously scary dark!Aemond x oc (Snow falls) Chapter 22 but characters will mention what happened before. Chapter 22: The Bathroom. POV from Aemond and its as about as terrible as you expect.

You are Willa Wyldewoods, lady of Wyldecrest. After being denied your hand in marriage, Aemond murders your family and makes himself Lord of WyldeCrest, out-powering you. He claims you as his wife and spoils, He commands and goes over your home now and as you will learn right now: No one is safe under his reign. Not even you

WARNINGS: (GENERAL) Dark!Aemond (DUH!) ((We don't do half-blends here, he's 100% dark! Cursing, Aemond being posessive and degrading torwards his wife/oc, Aemond fantasying about his wife and genuinely dark messed up aemond as well as dark rough sex and other messed up things:))

Ah, she sleeps. She sleeps gentle and satisfied. I need to have a talk with Aegon about his fuckery with my wife. My pet. My little fox. She looked so miserable tonight. She was insecure when dressed up as a whore, acting as whore. It is not who she is. She is a clever little thing; yes.

But she is not a whore. She'll never be. She is her own woman. Her own thing. She can never be Aurelia. I don't wish her to be. She should be wearing white silk gowns and her beautiful house colours. Perhaps only if she wishes to dress, for me, for me in private and to reward me. If she came to me, as my wife, no my pet, I would want her wearing a tiny little fox hide wrapped around her shoulders. Just covering her breasts. Nothing less. Nothing more.

Willa will never be that brave, I'm afraid. She has made process from the sweet doe eyed thing I took from her childhood home. She was naive and insecure. I corrupted her but not as much as the world's cruelty corrupted her. But to bare herself naked and to surrender herself completely to my every wicked whim...

It is not something that will happen soon. Perhaps not ever.

She turns on her side, in her sleep quietly mumbling. I watch a few more moments, enchanted by her. Willa's dark hairs are spread out as a halo around her head. Her soft lips are still dirty with my own cum. She milked me so good, the little brat. I will question her sharply when sunrise comes about who thought her that little trick.

I feel my cock harden and I cuss softly, to avoid waking her up. I am conflicted. I should wake Willa up. I am her husband. I have needs. She has a marvelous little mouth that loves to suck cum from me. It is a perfect arrangement. I warned her before about falling asleep on the job. I might reward her with a spanking, she always likes that.

I can't bare myself to wake her, however. Not when I hear her soft muttering and her gentle snores. She went through the seventh hell when that worthless whore of a sister of mine send her dogs after us to kill me and our child.

I sigh, leaving the rooms to go to my own bathroom. Willa remains on the bed, asleep. Probably dreaming of me, chasing her around and fucking her senseless whenever I capture her.

I picture her mouth wrapped around me. She is on her knees, trembling on her legs. Her brown doe eyes are full of question and curiosity. She takes me in, first gentle than sudden and quick as her wicked lips smack together. I lift her chin gently. She whimpers against my rough thrusting. It hurts her sore little throat. The taste makes her miserable. She dislikes it that she loves it. She hates being filled up this way, slowly tasting my cum as I give it to her.

My hands touch my cock. I never thought I would have to do it once I had wife to take care of my needs, but here I am, rubbing myself in my bathroom because I rather won't wake my wife. I hear a voice tell me I am pitiful. It is the same voice I hear every now and than, whenever I am awake or asleep. I ignore it. I tell it that I am a true gentleman for allowing my lady some well needed rest...

I will take her tomorrow as my reward. And I will take her, the way I want. She had her fun tonight, with her whore, her leather and her cheating. I will have mine tomorrow. I will have her, in every way that I wish.

I grunt, making the fantasy a little more delicious. More my style. Less hers. She is chained down with a big iron chain keeping her to my bed. She wears only what I approve of, which is not much. Just a cloth covering her intimate parts. Her belly hasn't swollen yet but it will soon. I will make sure of that.

I take the chain and push her to me, reeling her in as a fish on the hook of a line. Willa whimpers when she meets my arms, and I toss her on my bed. She ends up on her knees. She trembles. I pet her little perfect cunt. I smack it roughly causing her little ladyship to cry and to moan in pain. "You are my wife. You will do as I want." I tell her, with a nod to my Red swollen length hinting that I want to be spoiled wickedly in ways only my wife can.

She takes it in, the poor little thing. Her eyes become twice the size as she mutters a apology. "You were rough the last time, my prince. Will you be gentle to me?" I scoff at her childish and feminine request. I will in fact not. I will push my cock in her mouth and fuck her mouth, using it as my pleasurehole.

Still, a lamb must be approached carefully or it will run off. I promise her safety and a smooth soft and gentle kind fucking. I kiss her forehead in a loving matter making my voice lighter. "Of course, my darling. I apologise for the other day. You didn't deserve such a rough treatment." I tell her, lying to her pretty face. She smiles, pleased with my lies. I feed them so easily. And she swallow it even quicker than she swallows my cum.

She opens her mouth, gently and softly. I help her a bit by forcing it wider. She smiles carefully. "This would be more comfortable if you were not so big, my prince." She chuckles softly. I ignore her on purpose knowing it will hurt her feelings. She glares at me and I smirk, leaning in to kiss her lips. "Be a good for your prince. Open wide, little fox." I tell her folding my hands on my back. She obeys. I ease in gentle this time, allowing her muscles to gently rub my cock as it slides in over her tongue, through the back of her throat as far as my fox can take.

She moans in protest and has a frown on her beautiful face when she likely protests that this is too much and too fast for her. I sigh, gently hushing her by kissing her hairs. "Little fox, you'll take it. You will. Do you hear me?" I even deal a crushing blow to her little bum. She cries out against my cock, sending delightful little waves of trusts my way. I groan when grabbing both her shoulders and force her to steady. Her whimpers become louder as I trust hard and rough, without mercy. Her eyes full with tears and my cock is erected and hard. I give her a little pat on her head and she releases my stiffens cock. She admires her masterpiece for a few moments. She pushes her gown down, and shoves her cunt, her wet dripping and marvelously tight little cunt to me. She moans and shudders before bowing down and giving herself to me fully. She surrenders fully. I can do anything what I like with her.

I ease my cock in, knowing my little fox is ready for one. She breaths out gently when I am inside her. At this point I am not trusting yet. I just wish to tease her. To drive her mad first. I tease her by rubbing her ass with my hands and my cock softly being shoved inside of her as if I am shelving a beloved book in a library. My little fox is modest yet insatiable. She knows very well what she wants and keeps eying my cock. She wants it. I raise a brow at her cheekiness.

My cock stiffens in my hands. Willa takes my cock for me, gently kissing the tip as she brushes her soft lips against it in a loving obedient matter. She opens her mouth to let out a soft pious proper moan and my cock only hardens. I tighten her hands together with a rope, cutting her skin cruelly when rubbing her skin with it. She whimpers when her skin burns and I only cruelly chuckle in her ear. "What is it, my pet? Don't you like it when your master leashes you?"

I don't want for a anwser. I am too hard to wait for one. I force Willa Wyldewoods of Wyldecrest, once a lady, now my pet, on her knees on all fours. Willa knows very well what I want. Her cunt is spread wide as are her legs. She lowers her gaze obediently and whispers something. "It is yours, master. Please. I need it."

She is slapped once more on her exposed ass cheeks, as I run my fingers over her behind. I would love to bury myself inside her final innocent entrance. Her asshole. No cock has been there. Then again; her other holes were innocent before she met me as well. It will take a lot of courage from Willa to admit that she is curious to it.

I had her read a book once, just to see if the idea disgusted or aroused her. She was curious and open to it, but obviously, scared of the pain. She is very scared of pain for a girl that loves her spankings. I ease a finger inside her asshole, fucking it. Willa moans in the matress. I let her do as she pleases as I force my cock deep inside of her cunt and start to take my wife, my pet. My slave.

She obeys clenching. I feel my cock tighten around her walls, as she forces her muscles to pleasure me. To milk me dry. My breath catches in my throat. I grab her hips without ceremony dragging my nails into her sensitive skin. "Master, gentle." She reminds me.

I smirk before spitting in her face causing her to recoil. "I give you commands. Not the other way around."

Willa dares to top me in a desperate attempt to take control. I throw her on her back, spreading her legs wide before diving on top of her reminding her who holds the true power. My little fox fights first brave and foolish...until she feels how good her pussy is pounded by my cock. Until she feels her own wetness and her mouth releases gasps as I roll my cock inside of her, pentering her properly. She hesitates with her cum. She needs my permission. Except I don't want to give that. I don't want her to beg for it.

She needs to be brave enough to take her own pleasure into her own hands. And I know just what will cause this rebellion. I spank her as always. My little fox is aroused easily that way. But it won't be just a spanking. Her cheeks jiggle with the smacks, a smile spreading on her lips. "Master..thank you..."

I groan in the bathroom, my fingers sticky with precum. I lean against the wall and catch my breath. I close my eyes.

Willa burst into sobs, crying out for me as I fuck her body until blood sticks to my cock. She tightens around me in ways she does not understand. She is helpless on her knees when I take her fresh and wet spoils as my own, fucking my wife when swatting my hands against her ass to keep her happy. She has pain. But she has pleasure. She is conflicted. As am I.

Such a innocent, little low thing can keep me happy? Is the truly enough for me? I enjoy her now. But what of the future? How much fun can submission be until it tires.

I see her hips rolls as she moans, her legs hurting with dedication as I take her past her limit. Willa's muscles are sensitive and weak. She isn't used to working and her body knows it. She isn't used to being owned as a whore either.

She loves discipline a little too much. I spank her again. This is not discipline anyway. This is pleasure. Willa wraps her legs around my hips, begging me with her beautiful brown and teary eyes. She opens her mouth to beg, but before she can, I flip her under me, pounding my way into her body.

The snow fox rises... And she falls. She shatters into cries and begs as she reaches her hight bucking up and down under me, begging for my cock. I am pleased with her. I kiss her cheeks. Willas moans get louder as I start to make myself a priority. My turn. I think. I take the poor wench by her throat cruelly pounding away at her spend little wet pussy.

Until I come

____________

#house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #dark aemond targaryen #house of the dragon fanfiction #dark aemond targaryen x oc #Aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen smut #Dark Aemond Targaryen smut #Aemond one eye fanfiction #SnowFallsAtWyldeCrest #dark! #head the warnings #dubcon #possible triggering content #She/her reader #AFAB Reader #DarkFantasy #Possible noncon #Possible gore #Old work

[munsons-maiden]

Do you think that Eddie would only like girls that are skinny and pretty cheerleader types like Chrissy? It’s canon that Eddie had a crush on Chrissy, Joseph Quinn himself confirmed it… Anyways, I’m plus size/fat and even though I read fics about Eddie liking bigger girls, I’m worried that he wouldn’t actually like us because he had a crush on Chrissy who is skinny and pretty and a cheerleader. I’m not surprised that Eddie had a crush on Chrissy, she was every man’s dream girl; but I feel like him liking Chrissy is an indication that girls like Chrissy are almost exclusively what he’s attracted to and even if a bigger girl did like him, he wouldn’t reciprocate those feelings because she’s just not skinny enough like Chrissy

No. Look very closely how the scene in the woods plays out:

Eddie accidentally bumps into Chrissy, she screams and he tells her "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" with a kind smile before the smile fades away very quickly as he realizes she's actually scared.

By then, we already know Eddie is branded The Freak, that people are either scared of him because of the way he looks and his hobby D&D (satanic panic) OR that they meet him with disdain/disgust (like the two cheerleaders he lets pass in the cafeteria. This little moment is an important one because of its message, which is not that he lets them pass because they're pretty cheerleaders; he lets them pass straight after his speech that shows how hurt he is by the fact that society paints him as the freak for playing D&D, and it's clear from the way he treats Jason that he despises the basketballers/popular crowd especially. The crowd the cheerleaders and Chrissy would actually belong to. Yet, he lets the two cheerleaders pass with a little bow and a genuine smile even though they still show open disgust for him in that moment. It shows us that Eddie, albeit having played the annoying freak to that moment, is genuinely kind and not a prick, and that his default is the choice to be kind even though he is ready to put his claws to use and defend himself if need be. I'll get back to why that's an important moment.)

The two of them sit down at the table and it's obvious Chrissy is still jumpy/anxious/nervous. Eddie tries hard to calm her down: at first, he shrugs off his leather jacket and vest (his armor) to make himself seem less intimidating), he thinks she's scared to be caught and tells her "we're safe. Nobody ever comes out here. I promise". She stays scared, leading Eddie to think it's because she's never done a drug deal before which leads him to try and make her feel in control, answering her question of "how does this work, exactly?" by calmly explaining it and putting her in control by asking whether the price for the weed was okay for her. Chrissy remains super jumpy and anxious, and the remaining explanation, in Eddie's POV, is that she's scared of him because most people are (either of him or scared to be seen with him).

He offers "hey, u, we don't have to do this. Just gimme the word and I'll walk away".

He's been reserved and guarded all the time as soon as he realized she was scared of something, his defenses were up (and later in the scene we learn that was because he thought she was mean and scary, too - Chrissy as Queen of Hawkins High embodies the system of forced conformity and the society and popular crowd who hurt him, just like Steve Harrington and Jason Carver, and Eddie automatically thinks these people are bad people. He tells Steve as much in the UD: "rich parents, super popular, chicks love 'em, not a douch? No. No way, man. That, like, flies in the face of all the lwas in the universe and my own personal Munson Doctrine. He has prejudices like everybody else, but he's very quick and happy to change his behavior as soon as he's proven wrong).

The way he offers to walk away is defensive and exasperated because he feels judged by her. And while yes, he does it because he doesn't want to scare her, he's hurt that once again someone is scared even though he genuinely did everything he could to show that he's harmless.

Chrissy stops him, telling him, "No, it's not that. I don't want you to go", which makes him pause until she asks "do you ever feel like you're losing your mind?"

That's the moment Eddie realizes "oh it's not because of me" because Chrissy Cunningham, Queen of Hawkins High, just made herself very vulnarable in front of him, and it's genuine. Something bothers her, but it's not him. And that's when Eddie lets down his own guards and drops the defense mechanisms to allow himself to be himself.

He yeets himself off the bench to help her crack a smile and set her at ease from whatever is haunting her - and it works, because she actually genuinely laughs. Not about him, but with him.

And THAT'S the moment Eddie starts falling for her.

Not because she's the "skinny pretty cheerleader" but because she doesn't judge him, isn't scared of him, and laughs with him. Yeeting himself off the bench and rolling on the ground is super adorable and dorky but it's also nothing a lot of guys would do, it's odd, but Chrissy isn't bothered by that or reacts in an "ew, you're so weird wtf" way but she loves it. I cannot stress this enough. And she continues to laugh with him, relax, connect with him. He calls her a freak in an affectionate way (the name he's being called by the bullies and we know he hates that name but made it his own because that way it hurts less) and she giggles and isn't bothered by that at all.

Because Chrissy is not mean and scary - she's genuine and kind and sweet, she's not like the rest of the popular crowd and she's not disgusted by Eddie The Freak, doesn't disdain him or treats him badly - she treats him kindly to the point of opening up to him first, letting her guards down first, because she trusts him to do so, that he won't use it against her.

Nothing about Eddie's crush for Chrissy is about her appearance. It is - and has been from the start - about her kindness. Her heart, not her looks.

That's what Eddie is attracted to. Genuine kindness, not appearance. That's everything his character stands for, after all, as well🖤

#kiki answers #eddie munson #eddie munson meta #chrissy cunningham

[angelicyoongie]

THIS CHAPTER WAS CHEF'S KISS! You're an amazing author and your writing is so compelling! I love yandere BTS stories and in each story I tend to rate the characters based on the level of danger they represent as yandere 👀

So far, this is what I'm getting from the boys in Lovesick (Vlll) as MTL dangerous:

Taehyung  5/5  redflags 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Oooof, I find Tae to be  the scariest and most aggressive! I don't think he would physically hurt Yn. However, I assume that he wouldn't be above mentally terrorizing Yn to make her stop considering leaving them? I noticed how easily frustrated he gets when YN rejects them and I think that's the scariest side of him.

Out of all of them, he also seems to be the one that Yn won't be able to fool. Yup, I think Tae is  that type of yandere and I'm excited to see more of him 👀

Hoseok 5/5 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Not only Hobi drugged Ynie, apparently, he would also kill anyone for her just to keep her safe?

I assume that Hobi is the type of yandere that doesn't always think things through and tends to take the rashiest decisions under tense circumstances (is this the reason why he ended up drugging her?)

But unlike Tae, Hobi is one of the most delusional in the group and would be tricked by Yn if she manages to convince him that she loves them? I dunno but he's giving me that vibe.

Jimin 4/5 🚩🚩🚩🚩

Just like Tae, I'm pretty sure that Jimin won't be easily tricked by Yn's facade 'cause he's an officer and can probably see right through her lies. Unless she really gets on his good side and gain his trust, I highly doubt that she'll be able to fool him.

Is Jimin the most perverted in the group? I have a feeling that he would spy on her during her intimate times 👀 I still can't get over THAT ONE gift he gave her lmao

The only reason why I'm putting him in the TOP 3 most dangerous is because he and Tae would make one scary duo.

Yoongi 3/5 🚩🚩🚩

Yoon is giving me "quiet and obsessive stalker" that is satisfied with just hovering around Yn for the time being.

He knows that she hates them, he's aware and will take things slow with her.

Yoon and Joon are probably the most manipulative ones? I think he would lie to her and change narratives to make the situation seem less terrible than it actually is. Yoon is calmer and more put together than Namu tho.

The way Yoon lied about being an accountant and planned that encounter with her at the park (along with Tae) was what convinced me that he's very manipulative.

Namjoon 3/5 🚩🚩🚩

I think Namu is the manipulative, delusional AND controlling type of yandere. Very, very controlling to the point of making Yn feel constantly frustrated. The way he said that he would take care of everything until she feels better made me wonder if he'll take her to go see the doctor? 👀

He also can't help himself and wants to hover around her all the time.

Jin 2/5 🚩🚩

Jin doesn't seem to be as dangerous as the others so far but I could be very, veeeery wrong. He's the delusional type of yandere and the easiest to trick because of that, I guess?

I have a feeling that Ynie wouldn't have a hard time to gain his trust.

Unlike Jimin and Tae, Jin and Hobi seemed to really believe her "quick acceptance" of the situation and that's why I'm assuming that they're the most delusional out of all of them.

Jungkook 1/5 🚩

Considering what he said to Yn at the end of the chapter, I assume that Kookie is the most aware that this situation is very messed up. He was ashamed to even look at her 'cause he feels guilty and knows that she's hating them rn.

He's that type of yandere that knows it's all wrong, feels regretful but still goes along with it all cause he desperately wants Yn's love just like the others.

I'm considering JK to be tamest one? But I could be wrong, who knows 👀

In short, I think they're all deranged in different levels but they won't physically hurt Yn.

I definitely wanna see more of them and I'm really excited for the next update ❤❤❤💜

Thank you so so much for both your kind words and taking the time to leave me such a detailed comment, it made me so happy!! 😭💖

Taehyung definitely belongs at the top of the list! He isn't the type to be physically abusive, it did make him sad/offended when the MC thought he was going to hit her, but he's not above using scare tactics to fuck with her head (i.e. the blood covered roses). In his head he is doing something romantic, but he also knows that pulling certain stunts will mess with her and hopefully keep her away from other people. Taehyung is harder to fool than many of the others but he's also a tad more delusional than Jimin, so Jimin takes first place when it comes to being suspicious of MC's compliance!

Hoseok is "tamer" than Vmin in some ways, but he's also worse in others. He doesn't like the idea of causing MC any distress, that's why he kept it so simple in his letters and gifts in contrast to vmin. But yes, he's also a lot more impulsive and rash in his actions and that's why he didn't even think twice about drugging her (and potential murder!). He's more of a "it'll work itself out somehow" type of person. I would say he's fairly realistic, like with how he pointed out how the MC hates them in the last chapter, but I think he would be quick to lower his guard and give into his own delusions a bit more once he seems a situation safe. Like with how the MC is now trapped there with them and can't run off. So, he's generally a bit more chill than vmin, but he's also willing to go to lengths a few of the others aren't – like murder.

Yup, Jimin is the toughest nut to crack! I feel like it would a very long time before he would fully believe that the MC actually loved him back. Jimin is by far the most perverted one, lmao! Once we get to the smut it'll be split into pairings/groups so that they all get some alone time with her, but you best believe Jimin would've loved to stay to watch if given the chance lmao 💀

Quiet and obsessive is a very good description of Yoongi! He's knows it'll take time before the MC begins to like them, and he's willing to wait no matter how long it takes. Yoongi doesn't necessarily enjoy lying to her, but he'll do it to de-escalate situations or to make himself look better in her eyes, even if it's only temporarily.

Namjoon is all of the above haha! Joon is the type to bring her to the doctor and then argue until he's allowed to stay for her entire examination, no matter what kind she's having 💀 He wants the MC to be healthy and well taken care of, but he also doesn't trust anyone besides himself to really do it right.

Seokjin is fairly tame! He and Jungkook are probably the "best" type of yanderes you could have. He just wants to spend time with the MC and be around her. The MC would be able to gain his trust pretty quickly!

You summed up Jungkook's character very well there, haha! I think JK might be a tiny bit more intense than SJ just because he's younger, but he is very tame still.

You are correct 😉 Thank you so much!!!💖

[monody-monody]

I recently finished my first playthrough of SOMA, and I feel like mine was an unusual experience with it…

{No spoilers in this post} Right off the bat, I already knew most of the story; I had watched an in-depth( No pun intended…) retrospective type video on it before I even got the game, but unfortunately that's just how it had to happen because it was that video that convinced me to get the game in the first place.

So I knew all of the major twists and reveals and the complicated philosophy behind them, and I honestly didn't mind that, except… None of it really challenged me philosophically. It's like it was all at least slightly below my reading level, which is weird to say about such a well-crafted existential horror game. I don't know how much of that came from having so much time to think about the concepts before playing, and how much comes from my exposure to similar concepts in other sci-fi and my own internal philosophical musings.

But I can say this: I enjoyed SOMA and I'm glad I got it. Despite it having much less player agency over gameplay than other Frictional games like Amnesia: The Bunker, it still has by far my favorite setting, atmosphere, and story of all of their games I've seen. I recommend it for anyone with even a weak tolerance for scary games and an interest in tough existential questions. Worth noting the game has a "Safe" mode which effectively disables the threat from the enemies, fantastically described as "Monsters are still creepy, but can't kill you."; this makes the game very accessible in terms of stealth skill, quick thinking, and ability to handle stressful chase/hunt scenarios.

#soma game #frictional games

[soullikethesea]

The attachment saga finally calmed down. T said I *am* able to see her at a not-super-early time next Wednesday. That gave me so much air to breathe... oof. It really made a huge difference in how I felt.

And then I was able to ask again about this Wednesday and was able to leave the option a lot more open. I told her she could wait and see how she felt the night before, and I also said that I would only want the appointment if she really felt like it would work for her. She appreciated this a lot, it seemed.

The next morning, there we both were. I ended up tapping around subjects and not really able to talk. Not willing to get into the Big Feelings that I'd been having, that was for sure. So we talked about other important things, like how "helpers" are really used to having to push people in order to help them and then with me that backfires. I said that it's because I already push myself to the very edge. I don't need someone else to do that (no thanks). So she got out some objects and talked about how most people are stuck in the middle of their comfort zone and healthy people are in the middle of that zone, but can move around freely. And I already go to a border, so can't move around freely anymore either.

I couldn't really make sense of how she explained these situations. She stacked way too many metaphors on top of each other and I really benefit from concrete examples. (What is the type of behaviour that you want from me? I can make it happen, it just needs to be clear).

So at some point I slipped out: "I don't see what the point is of holding myself back four steps, just so someone else then gets to push me." T was quick to clarify that that's not the point at all. It's so that I could be more safe.

Well...

And we talked about needs and about next year. It seems like we'll likely get another year of therapy. Which is so lucky and it's so disheartening how the situation is for many others.

T lended me a card game about needs. I am so impressed by it, like, wow. I had no idea this is what people mean when they ask about needs. It seems less scary than I thought. Most of them I can influence myself, which is great. But I did feel many hurty pangs when I looked at some of them. When needs involve others, I get really lost and drawn into the lessons of my past. It's just too scary. But it was good to have an overview of which ones those are.

See under read more for a picture.

An opportunity to test your Dutch, lol. The ones on the left are ones I'm relatively comfortable with, the ones on the right are my *alarm sounds* ones.

Confronting.

Today I sold some old books and it was touching upon some of the same appeasement stuff. It helped to think about it like that; two people putting their tokens on the board and then communicating and coming to a compromise. Money stuff is a huge trigger, so I was still shaken for most of the day. But I managed.

I'm so so glad some of the attachment stuff settled a bit. <3

[lunar-goodness]

Hello! I run the bunny blog MoonHops and wanted to send you a quick bunny crash course :)

1. She's going to need to be fixed. She's too young right now from the look of her, but you will want to get her spayed between 4-6 months, because once her hormones kick in she will start peeing all over the place and it will smell. Make sure you find a rabbir savvy vet who has operated on rabbits before - if you try to put them under like a dog or cat they will most likely die.

2. She's going to need a buddy - rabbits are social animals. Don't get another rabbit until she's fixed though - unfixed rabbits will kill each other once the hormones kick in. Get her fixed and then wait 30 days before trying to introduce a bondmate. Introductions can be complicated - there is lots of info online but you can't just throw them together and expect them to get along. Rabbits are tremendously social, but also very territorial!

3. Diet. Rabbits should be fed an unlimited supply of timothy hay, and that should make up about 90% of their diet. Feed rabbit safe dark greens 1-2 times a day, but start with small amounts until she's used to it. Pellets are vitamins, not a staple - I feed my rabbits a tablespoon per day. It is VITALLY important that she has hay available at all times - rabbits cannot have an empty GI tract or they will get very sick and can die in less than 48 hours.

4. GI stasis. If rabbits stop eating or pooping, it's an emergency situation. Have simethocone gas drops and Critical Care Herbivore on hand for syringe feeding, and take to a rabbit savvy vet if symptoms do not improve within 24 hours.

5. Space. Rabbits need a LOT of space. You want the cage to be at least 3x the length of the rabbit when she's spread out from nose to toes, and tall enough that she can stand on her hind legs without hitting the ceiling. The bigger the enclosure, the better. Once she's an adult she will not fit into any commercial rabbit cages - I recommend utilizing an XL dog crate attached to X-pens. You can't give too much space, but start small until she's got the hang of litter training. The rule of thumb is the smaller the cage, the more free roam time you will need to provide.

6. Handling. Rabbits do not like to be picked up. Pet her and interact with her on the floor when possible, and when you have to pick her up, hold her very firmly and support her back end. A panicked rabbit can thrash hard enough to break their own backs, and being picked up is scary for them.

There is unfortunately a LOT of misinfo out there on rabbit care. A good, trusted source is the House Rabbit Society, found at https://rabbit.org/. You may have a local chapter who can help you out as well! For specific questions, r/Rabbits on Reddit is a great resource.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions! My blog is located at www.tumblr.com/themoonhops

Best of luck with her! 😊

Thank you very much! I did look into the house rabbit society and have already learned a lot, currently trying to find a good rabbit vet nearby to get established at. I really appreciate the info!! ♥️

#save

[yoshinorecommends]

Hey sweetheart,

How are you feeling? I know the...incident with Homelander the other day really shook you up, understandably so. Do you see now why I want to keep us under wraps? It's not because I give two shits about Vought knowing I'm bisexual. It's because I want you safe! I don't trust any of them, much less Homelander.

Anyways, all of that aside, are you okay? Well, as okay as you can be, I mean. I promise as soon as I'm back from handling this mission, I'll be right over to see you and take care of you. That's what's most important right now. You need to make sure you're taking care of yourself, at least until I can get there.

If I'm being completely honest with you...now more than ever I've thought about leaving the Seven. Homelander has become even more unpredictable (obviously), Noir is still his little lap dog, the Deep is in a constant downward spiral, Translucent is still M.I.A., A-Train is less than sober on a good day, and that new girl Starlight is just desperate to be the "perfect hero." I don't think she understands we all used to be like her. Vought crushes that shit out of you quick. But I may have a solution.

What if I retired? I make a peaceful exit from Vought and the Seven, spending the rest of the year doing press junkets, and then I'm off scot-free! Hypothetically, I guess. It's worth a shot though, right? If there's even a chance it can give us a peaceful life together?

I don't know if it would work, but I'm going to try. If you're okay with it, of course. Once you give me the word, I'll talk to Stillwell and get my plan set in motion. If it's something you're not comfortable with though, I won't do it. It's our future, not just mine.

Sorry for rambling, dear. I'm just...hopeful? Despite what happened, I still believe we can make this work. I know it's scary and everything is so uncertain, but just-- please hold on a little longer for me. I promise things will get better. They have to!

Okay, I have to go. They're sending Homelander and I out to save some plan before the military can. I'm sure it'll be a breeze, nothing we haven't done before.

I'll swing by after, yeah? I do believe it's my turn to pick dinner so I hope you're in the mood for Chinese! See you soon, sweetheart.

Forever Yours,

Maggie

P.S. I love you ♡

My second letter from @sincerelytheirs. Like the other one, I got it earlier than I expected which I am happy about because I got to read both together. ♡ The writer for this one is EmmaLea and they did an amazing job with it! Thank you EmmaLea and Sincerely Theirs for my amazing letters!

#boys #maeve #ships #sincerelytheirs #this was amazing #The characterization of Maeve is just amazing #I can totally hear her saying this on the show #I'm just so in love with this #Thank you once again!!!

[odetoagirl]

shadow work

How do you believe people see you? How would they describe you to someone else? How does that make you feel? a. I think people perceive me as sexual, mysterious and very intelligent, emotionally articulate, judgemental, perceptive, patient, loyal, and I think I'm always right. This perception of me delights me and perfectly aligns with the image I want to project.

What are the worst traits someone can have, according to you? When did you demonstrate these traits? a. Being ignorant, stupid, uncurious and unwilling to listen or learn or understand. People who are very picky or specific or pedantic or control freaks. People who are confrontational with things that dont absolutely need addressing. And thoughtlessness, but I only judge this with people I am very close to. Most everything else is actually pretty forgivable to me. I am never stupid or unwilling to learn. I am sometimes a control freak about very odd things, but do my absolute best to try and remain unbothered and prioritise the comfort of others. I am never confrontational. I am riddled with fear, and I am never thoughtless to those I deeply care about, it is how I express my love and therefore when it is not returned it upsets me because I feel like the vulnerability of caring is nonreciprocal.

What tends to make you judgmental toward others? a. If they don't seem aware of their surroundings and how they are behaving. If they are not self policing to an extent or making an effort in their behaviours. If I consider their behaviour to be thoughtful, even if it is not in the way I approve of or would behave, then it is fair. Only thoughtlessness causes me to actually Judge.

What memories are you ashamed of? a.

Who do you envy, and why? a. People with close relationships with their mothers. Straight people. Beautiful women and girls. People who can commit to being skinny. Brilliant artists and geniuses. People brave enough to pursue their dreams.

Write a letter to the person who’s hurt you the most in your life, and tell them everything you’d like to say. a.

What frightens you the most? What are some ways you could safely expose yourself to this fear? a. Talking to my mother is the second one, dying is possibly my greatest but that seems pretty unavoidable and to live me life it is better to simply push the fear aside. So my greatest fear interfering with my life is probably my fear of failure, and in turn the fear of pursuing what I really want to do in life, and the vulnerability that brings. Possibly I could submit some of my work to online competitions, or even less scary, I could show a friend, and even ask for feedback if I feel brave.

What emotions typically bring out the worst in you, and why do you think this happens? a. Stress, especially around completing tasks because I totally avoid anything I am afraid of/don't like doing so when I am confronted with something I actually have to do it puts me in a bad mood. I become quick to anger and sadness.

When was the last time you self-sabotaged? How were you feeling at the time? What do you think triggered this behaviour? a.

Which friendships make you feel safe and secure? Which relationships no longer serve you? Otis, I am unjudged and he makes me comfortable, Anna understands me - and tries to push me which I hate -, Daniel acts as somewhat of a superego. Im not sure about it. Hannah makes me feel safe and secure.

What’s something you wish that other people understood about you? a. The deep rooted shame I feel around everything, my sexuality yes, but also moving and speaking and saying what I think creatively fills me with shame and fear of inadequacy. Also my deep loneliness.

What are some lies you’ve previously told yourself? a.

What’s your worst memory from childhood? What is the worst character trait that you have as a result of this memory or other events from your childhood? a. I don't really remember much. The worst things I can think of are occasions where I was severely scolded for things that weren't my fault or I did accidentally. I think it made me very meek and scared at heart. I felt unheard, I remember pleading for forgiveness when I broke a glass wand, it was beautiful and I loved it and it was mine and when I broke it I cried and was devastated it was broken. I was so afraid to tell my mum that I tried to hide it. When she found out she was furious, she screamed and shouted and I cried more and more, as though the breaking of it was not punishment enough. I am now very afraid of her wrath when I make mistakes and it has pulled a great rift between us that does not have room for honesty and vulnerability because I will always fear her wrath. It has made me a coward.

What are your parents’ best character traits? What about their worst? a. I didnt read this question before answering above. She is impatient and quick to anger, and cold and is unempathetic. She is bad at expressing compassion, vulnerability and weakness and lacks perception, intuition and introspective thought. Worst of all she is not good at understanding others, she is unwilling to listen and very defensive. She is strong willed and resourceful though, independent and hard working.

How do you feel when drama occurs?  a. Terrified, sick to my stomach, I regress back into my shell

What makes you self-conscious?  a. My face, my body, my sexuality, my voice, singing, dancing, having people see anything creative I have done, any form of self expression when observed by others.

What makes you feel unsafe? a.

Who do you currently have a grudge against? Why do you think you aren’t letting it go? a. My mum, I can't forgive her for giving me no emotional support, and not wanting to understand me or not even reaching out and trying. Thats it, mostly I dont hold grudges and I am very forgiving. Nothing much reaches me to the extent where it matters enough to outweigh the grand scheme.

Who’s let you down the most in your life?  a. My mother

What makes you feel the most valued? a. When people make the effort to understand me, and take time to teach me things.

Describe a trait you see in other people that you wish you had yourself. Why do you not have this trait? a. Being brave enough to pursue their dreams and express themselves in front of other people. I am so afraid of failure, vulnerability and being seen. I think I have grown up with the idea that I can be smart within a binary, but outside of that I think I am scared that my intelligence does not extend beyond objective truth values, and I worry that my heart does not have any value, that I do not have anything good or important to say, I think I am so scared that no one will care what I have to show, or that it will be of no value at all.

What are your personal core values? Why are those values important to you? a. I dont really think I have many core values, or at least not very many traditional ones. I certainly have rejected many if not all of the christian values I was raised with. Let me see if I resonate with any on the list. Willingness to learn, a general open mindedness. Environmentalism. Intentionality and thoughtfulness. A desire for introspection. I think I value these things because they are so integral to ones individual experience as a conscious human. It is about exploring yourself and effort and authenticity, not conformting to society or acting for others, but learning about yourself, and who you are in this life. And also environmentalism because you shouldnt abuse the planet and animals at the expense of self exploration when they have no agency.

What were your parents’ or guardians’ core values when you were a child? How do your own values differ from those of your parents or guardians? a. She basically just has all of the classical christian values. Virtue, honesty, integrity, generosity, gratitude, hard working, independence, piousness, compromise, perseverance, humility, moderation. I think all of those morals have no basal worth so are therefore just arbitrary acts that a community performs for feelings of security OR because they were taught to OR because it benefits those in power.

At what moments in your life have you been the hardest on yourself? Why?  a. Basically never because I never put my big fat ego at risk. But also body/face/sexuality.

How do you define failure? How does failing make you feel? Are you afraid of failure? If so, why? a. I dont mind failing in areas I don't revere. I never fail at things because I never try and do things that I might fail at that I consider of value. I define failure as producing things that no one takes interest in or finds value in. Failure to me is unfaceable, it is my biggest fear because I could not live with myself if I had proof of my own inadequacy, and proof that I had nothing worth contributing artistically and personally to the world.

What do you do with your time when you’re bored? What do you enjoy doing? a. Sleeping, rotting in bed, writing, dreaming and imagining, talking to friends, cooking. Sometimes drawing, sometimes googling and learning, sometimes curating images and art into folders.

Are there negative emotions you try to avoid? Why? a. Fear, failure, stress and shame somewhat but it lives alongside me I have learnt to endure it at low levels. Embarrassment. I don't mind sadness or anger as much, they feel powerful, and substantial, not as though I am shrivelling up. See above. I'd feel disappointing and ridiculous.