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emilykinncy · 2 years

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I posted 2,244 times in 2021

28 posts created (1%)

2216 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 79.1 posts.

I added 1,932 tags in 2021

#cue the queue - 671 posts

#animals - 253 posts

#lol - 250 posts

#photography - 165 posts

#cats - 136 posts

#flowers - 120 posts

#disney - 97 posts

#pretty places - 92 posts

#btvs - 78 posts

#relatable - 70 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#ok but it's even worst when your page won't load all the way so you can't tell if you're waiting for it to come into frame or the gif is jus

My Top Posts in 2021

She doesn't talk to him for years and he still asks to be on her podcast. Normam Reedus is literally a simp for Emily Kinney.

lmaoo right?! And let’s not forget this

9 notes • Posted 2021-01-13 06:05:24 GMT

Well I understand Bethyl and their special relationship, but what is wrong with Emily and Norman? I'm new to the show, so ... are they dating or what my friend told me Emily unfollow him and all of this? Would you please explain to me what happened?

I’m assuming you’re referring to my tags on that video I reblogged? So first of all, regardless of their offscreen relationship it was so nice to get cute/fun normily content while they were on the show together. So that’s one of the reasons I said that.

As far as the history...basically it’s never been confirmed but many of us believe that they briefly dated in 2015. There was actually an article in Us mag in June 2015 about it & they had at least one (unnamed) source, NR technically denied it (more like diverted attention with a joke on twitter) but Emily said nothing & when she’s been asked outright she’s essentially refused to answer. Neither of them have ever said ‘no, that didn’t happen’. So onto the unfollow part. In May 2017 NR posted a pic of D***e on IG (I just don’t like her for multiple reasons so I don’t write her name out lmao if you don’t know who I mean, you can just google NR & it will tell you who his ‘partner’ is) & basically it became clear he was dating her (tho I think there was already news out about it) and later that day or the next day Emily unfollowed him. So...it seems pretty clear the reason why she unfollowed. He would continue to occasionally like Emily’s posts & once commented for her bday & she never acknowledged him lol. But apparently as of last month she’s decided to give their friendship another chance ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you want to jump down the normily rabbit hole more you can check out my normily stuff and normily trash tags (you can look at the regular normily tag I have too, but the other two are more ‘streamlined’ to evidence lol)

10 notes • Posted 2021-01-17 21:20:55 GMT

Thought I’d share my twitter breakdown this morning listening to Emily’s new podcast episode 🙃

Full Chandler reaction pic, my permanent normily mood:

15 notes • Posted 2021-01-12 23:30:26 GMT

I’m just gonna say it now: I think most everyone who ships Daryl with an existing character is pretty pissed about the fact that he is going to finally have a canon relationship with a brand spankin new, random character but please for the love of God if the actress who plays her has social media DO NOT SEND HER HATE. And don’t hate on her even if she doesn’t have social media. She got a role and did her job and had nothing to do with the plot & crap writing.

20 notes • Posted 2021-02-03 07:14:06 GMT

Normily My Caffeine Withdrawal Podcast episode (transcript of certain parts)

EK intro: I first met Norman Reedus working on The Walking Dead of course. Over the course of my four seasons on our show, I got to know Norman better and better and we became good friends. And in a sort of interesting parallel, our characters storylines also became more intertwined within the show. Norman is so special, he seems to have endless amounts of creative energy that I find incredibly inspiring. He also has great taste in music and coffee which makes him a perfect guest for this podcast. Welcome back to My Caffeine Withdrawal, I am so incredibly excited to share this episode with all of you today. Norman has so many fans and I know this to be true because everyday someone in my life or someone on social media asks me ‘hey, how was it working with Norman? What is Norman Reedus like?’ Well, now today you guys are going to get to know Norman in the same way that I know Norman! We talk about how Norman got into acting and when and why he moved to California, as well as what his life was like as an artist first starting out in Los Angeles. We talk about a book he’s been writing! And he tells a lot of great stories! But first, Norman explained his current coffee setup situation and how he’s currently weathering the quarantine from Costa Rica.

This gets long so putting it behind a cut!

I put a timestamp of where each segment starts at the end of them!

NR: Hi Emily!

EK: Hi!

NR: I just set this up cause I’ve been listening to your podcast which I really like and I know it’s heavy on the coffee so I brought my coffee setup down the mountain in my backpack on the motorcycle and this is my coffee jam here (I’m not 100% sure of the last 2 words) so, this is what I do. You ready?

EK: Yes!

*NR shows her & describes his coffee process*

EK: What was the thing um, on Instagram, you posted this picture of a hummingbird, that was crazy! What made you post that?

NR: It’s this person that I’ve become friends with, they only try to post positive things…*he explains more about the person & post* (starts at 6:08)

EK: You wanna hear something kind of crazy about the hummingbird thing? I don’t know if you know this about me but I’ve definitely gotten more like spiritual…but like *Emily giggle* this is gonna sound crazy and I don’t even usually talk about this stuff, but I sort of have this sign of when I’m like guided where I’m supposed to go, and my sign has been a hummingbird. And you had text me and I randomly looked at your Instagram and saw—

NR: Wow

EK: —It definitely was like one of those where like ‘go there’, maybe it was just if there is a god or whatever just being like ‘oh nice, connect with your friend, you know, like connect with Norman…’

NR: I actually believe all that. When I texted you I was having breakfast at this place by the beach, the lady that makes the honey, by her place. And I was listening to your podcast with Lennie. And I had already heard Lauren’s and I was listening to Lennie’s, and at the end of it you were like ‘you know what I hope during Covid everyone can reach out to a friend’ and I was like ‘I’m just gonna text her’ so I texted you at that moment. I have the same thing with a bird like my dad, before my dad died he was always talking about cardinals, those red cardinals. So everytime I see a cardinal I think the same thing. And then the night before, Danai called me out of nowhere. I hadn’t spoken to Danai in forever. And she’s like ’what are you doing?’ and I’m like ‘I’m sitting on my patio with all the lights off…’ and there was a meteor shower, it was called like the Gideon meteor shower, this huge meteor shower that happened. And I saw 21 shooting stars before I went to bed. I pay attention to all that shit—

EK: Yeah

NR: 21! And I was like talking to her I’m like ‘there’s 11! There’s 12!’ and it just kept going. I believe all that stuff.

EK: I grew up Catholic so I kind of, like…religion in general felt sort of overwhelming even though prayer and stuff like that came naturally to me and then just over like the last like 5 or 6 years or so I’ve like really embraced it where I’m sort of like ‘yep, I think these things are happening, I have little signs that tell me like where to go…’. I guess I don’t really talk about it with people much but it’s just, like I read about it and stuff. Yeah.

NR: I believe it, I believe all of them. I’m not really religious but I believe all those signs all the time. I see little signs in everything, yeah.

EK: Yeah! (starts at 9:38)

EK: That sounds like you’ve had a very productive quarantine, or whatever this corona-pocalypse quarantine time.

NR: I’m not good with sitting still, you know what I mean, so I’m always doing something.

EK: Yeah! Yeah. I mean that’s one thing, when I was thinking about—when I was around you more working on the show, was that you were always…like you know sitting down to dinner and then like noticing this saltshaker and this fork should be next to each other in a certain way and then you can take a picture. You know what I mean, like I remember that about you like always making something, I guess. Or looking for the art in it or the picture. Or, you know, which um—

NR: it’s ADD or something I dunno what…

EK: I admired it because I feel like I can be so slow. Like, I love making stuff but I can sort of like piece it together over weeks and then I finally do—like in my head somehow, like I’m more of like a turtle! You know just like—

NR: Yeah but you make music! I mean, we all wish we could write songs and perform songs. You know, you make music. We all wish we were musicians, you know what I’m saying, so. (starts at 18:18)

EK: I remember you telling me a story of how you got an agent by like going to a party and then someone said ‘do you want to be in a play?’ and then you were the understudy and then the guy just happened to have to call out so then you were in the play, you didn’t have to be the understudy and then an agent—and that’s how it all started with acting, um, *laughs* did I just tell your story for you?!

NR: You’re right. No, no you’re exactly right. That’s exactly what happened. (starts at 26:08)

NR: I actually made an album, a music album

EK: You did?!

NR: Yeah

EK: Oh, that’s—you wrote all the songs and stuff? Or did you—

NR: I didn’t write any of it. And I didn’t really sing it, it’s more of a spoken word thing

EK: Yeah!

NR *tells story about how this came about, which involves an igloo*

EK: Wait, why were you in an igloo in Switzerland?! *laughs*

NR *tells more of the story…it’s long ok I don’t wanna transcribe it sdhfhsfh*

EK: Yeah I wanna hear your album! I mean…

NR: It’s out—

EK: It is?!

NR: It played…it did pretty well in France, it was on the radio and shit

EK: Yeah, will you email it to me or something, so I can…

NR: I will. Yeah yeah.

EK: I also wanted to make sure today to get some of your music picks because I remember back when we were on the show you always gave me the best music, like stuff that I hadn’t heard. I don’t know if if it’s just like because of your friends in New York or like maybe you’re a little bit older than me so you know different bands than I do. But, I remember like Dinosaur Jr., you like introducing me to Dinosaur Jr. Like I didn’t really know Dinosaur Jr. before you

NR: That’s crazy that you don’t know Dinosaur Jr. then (? I really can’t tell for sure that last word he says)

EK: I know! I think I might have pretended that I kind of I knew but like you introduced me for sure and I like totally dove in. But yeah during this quarantine, what have you been listening to?

NR: *lists some bands* Sean Lennon’s band that he made with Les Claypool is really good. He was on Ride with me.

EK: Oh, he was?! I’ve only see—I haven’t seen all the episodes of that, I’ve only seen, um, a few of them (adsdfdjf don’t lie Emily it’s probably actually 0 but we all understand babe) (starts at 35:10)

EK: It was so fun to talk to you today

NR: Yeah I miss you! I miss you, it’s good to see you and hear you.

EK: I miss you too, I’m going to check out that sock method…although I think it’s just pour over it’s just with a special…reusable—

NR: Yeah, a dirty sock

EK: Yeah, but something about it, yeah….*both laugh* Thank you for being on here, it feels so good to like chat with you

NR: Yeah, I miss you it’s good to hear your voice

EK: I miss you too, yeah. *she starts talking about twd & the connection with everyone etc* (starts at 41:36)

NR: *after he mentions everyone from the cast he’s still in touch with* You get these friendships with people and it becomes a big part of your life, your friends on the show, so. I’m glad I’m talking to you

EK: Yeah, I’m glad I’m talking to you too. (starts at 44:03)

From Emily’s end blurb: I hope you guys enjoyed Norman and I’s little catch up call over Zoom, I hope that you learned something new about Norman you didn’t know before. You know, Norman and I really hadn’t connected much over the last couple years (we all know this Emily and we pretty much all know why lol) we’ve just been on sort of different paths (yeah, that’s a way to put it I guess haha) but again and again I’m finding that one of the blessings of this time, being stuck at home, is remembering and reconnecting with people I care about and people that care about me. Maybe you have a friend you used to work with that you haven’t caught up with for a while and now you’ll feel inspired to send them a little text saying hello.

(How do they literally have chemistry on a *podcast* okay bye I’m going to go fly into the sun now)

32 notes • Posted 2021-01-14 07:29:03 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #lmao the fact i only made 28 posts #and i don't think i did any gif posts this year 😕 at least not on this blog but on my ek one #i did one or two #& then thousands of reblogs 😆#& why are all my top posts normily related i feel like we're back in 2015-2017 era ajdhfsdhf

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tuesdayx · 3 years

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So I thought it would be fun to do a song-by-song breakdown of our latest album Essential.

Essential started as some rough demos designated for a side project in late 2019, which then became our largest album to date in terms of song selection. Many of the themes deal with learning to cope with the changing world thanks to Covid, with a perspective of someone who had to keep working at an "essential" job with no option of self-quarantine. I was happy to continue working and being able to pay my bills over the past year, but there was always elements of stress, fear, and tension lingering over myself and everyone else in my position.

So here we go; starting from the top let's look at the Songs of Tuesday X's 6th album Essential.

1. Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams: the title was a reference to the 9/11 conspiracy memes, which as stated in the opening lines, "has nothing to do with this song." Written in January of 2020 before Covid had made any significant impact in the US, the song touches on many themes which happened to occur throughout the year, such as [another] Californian forest fire (Australia too), new diseases (Covid), a riot (the BLM movement over the summer, which I will state everything that movement has been fighting for is 100% justified and the United States is in desperate need of Police reform, as does our political system which has remained inherently racist to this day.), Civil War (and exaggeration for sure, but the civil unrest and political division in our country will soon split us apart further), more corporate giants(companies like Amazon profited more from this Pandemic than ever before and have helped further the gap between the American working class and the top 1%). Favorite line: "I won't get philosophical, I only wanted your attention."

2. The Only Difference Between You and Me is a Sense of Apathy and Your Brand New Nikes: This song is a blithing criticism of the American political system. Our two party system has left Americans with a choice between "the lesser of two evils" and allows politicians with no true interest in our needs to rise to power. The use of 3rd parties as an alternative is a overly simple compromise that would only just begin to alleviate the problems created in our political system. Both of our main parties are considered conservative parties to the rest of the world, and any progressive measures that would benefit society and reduce the effects of climate change are considered radical and preposterous by politicians with financial stakes in our crooked system where corporatations hold control and the people are treated as fuel for an otherwise worthless currency. Favorite line: "Listen to the radio, they played my favorite song. Now I'm bored and wanting more."

3. Blame it on the Elves: the title is a reference to an episode of the Podcast "Lore" by Aaron Menke (i can't recall which episode, but you should check it out anyway because it's great listen.) An instrumental interlude inspired by ragtime music of the 1920-30's, with an edge of course.

4. Class of Dropouts: This song was written when I was 16 during my sophomore year of high school and was originally featured on my now unavailable album "trees" before adopting the Tuesday X monicker. I brought it back 6 years later because I loved how raw and punk it was. The lyrics are dorky but I decided to leave them as is, it's a cool track for high school stoners to blare and let out their teen angst. Favorite line: "Walking in on my friends fucking."

5. Polaroids on My Bulletin Board: This is a song about growing up. As a 22 year old (now 23) who decided not to go to college straight out of high school, I felt isolated from my peers in a way. By going into the workfield right away I sometimes feel like I skipped a few years and missed out on a lot of opportunities. I regret not leaving my hometown sooner than I did and chasing my dreams of being a touring musician in a band. More often than not I reminisce of my youth playing shows and getting into trouble, as I now feel old and out of place in a scene I grew up in. Favorite line: "I know what it's like to be alive, I know what it's like to live a lie."

6. Labradoodle Underpass: Going back on the theme of growing up, this is about my recent experience with shows as an adult. When I was a teenager I felt ambitious and ready for anything, and I would drop literally everything to go to the nearest show. As an adult I feel introverted and constantly anxious about the world around me. I've missed out on a lot of great shows due to my own self doubt's and anxiety. Now that shows have been canceled for over a year I feel even more regret by not appreciating them more while I could. Favorite line: "23 years and a lingering fear that anything could happen, why am I here?"

7. Some Shit: This was me trying to be modest mouse lol jangly guitars and half talking/half singing vocals describing the world around me. I guess in a way it was an exercise in writing character description and setting, but otherwise it's just a chill track that almost feels aimless at parts. Favorite Line: "it's just some shit I learned from a friend. Just some shit I learned when I was trying to prepare."

8: Woe is the World: On the album this is a chorus snippet that barely a minute long (the full version is available as a bonus track on bandcamp, and it was actually a demo that turned out better than the final version.) I originally wrote this song when I was 15 with a different set of lyrics, but I came back to it while writing this album and re-wrote it to reflect my mental state and the world around me. Overall, just another melancholy track in a sea of melancholy songs. Favorite line: "you've never felt more alone than you do now, was everything worth it in the end?"

9. Then Why Was it Named Gideon?: the title is a reference to a line in Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (my favorite series) and like the first track on this album doesn't have much to do with the song. "Gideon" is a simple love song, talking again about how growing up sucks but having the right person by your side can make all the shitty times worth it in the end. Favorite line: "it's time to move on, you're taking too long."

10. I am Here, I'm Looking at Her, and She is Beautiful: This song is entirely about the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". That's it. Nothing else, let's move on. Favorite line: "Over Christmas I read them a poem about a brown paper bag and the boy who wrote it."

11. Try to Be a Filter, Not a Sponge: Like the previous song, this one is also mostly about "Perks of Being a Wallflower", but with elements of my own experience with toxic relationships. I like to think of it as the character Charlie's experience with Mary Elizabeth overall though. Favorite line: "She called my favorite book washed out trash, said I have no taste and I'm still too sad."

12. Lavender Spray Bottle: This instrumental dates back to 2017. I recorded the guitar part as a demo on my phone and forgot about it. Over time I forgot how to play the guitar part, so I used the demo as a basis and layered everything else on top of it. The title is a reference to a bottle of water with lavender essential oils mixed in that my ex used to fend away spiders in the house we lived in at the time.

13. Hindsight is 2020: I will admit, this is my favorite song on the whole album and was actually the last to be written and recorded. With a simple guitar part and layers of vocals, this song is a direct reflection of life during the peak of the pandemic. With curfews in place and rising case counts, I had to learn to cope with life at home during my late nights away from work. My partner was quarantined during this time and I reflected on the mental strain this put on her. Favorite line: "Don't go to work, you need the money but you're not happy when you're there. Sometimes life is so unfair."

14. I Don't Know How to Deal With Serious Emotions Without Turning Them into a Fucking Joke: the title came from a meme I found on my phone from high school. The song itself was about my own inability to handle serious emotions without coming off as sarcastic. In both the music and lyrics, the song starts as a simple confession before exploding into raw chaos. Favorite line: "it's so hard. I'm so scared, what have I become?"

15. Say Hello to My Little Friend: the last instrumental on this album. A short haunting tune that reflects the final two tracks. The title is probably a reference to Rambo or something, but I never watched it and I thought it fit the feeling of this song.

16. Minneapolis: What became one of the most emotional tracks on this song actually began as a joke. My partner was snap chatting a friend one night and they asked me to write them a song on the spot. So I improvised the first two verses and chorus of this song, referencing her going to school there at the time. I found I actually liked what I had written however, so I refined the track and changed it from a sassy country song into a melancholic lament of my experience in the twin cities and southern Minnesota. Favorite line: "I miss Camp Snoopy, and Paul Bunyon's log flume ride that went around the whole damn mall."

17. Before the Sunrise: the final song on the album is an intimate look at my relationship with my partner. Through past experiences i have become riddled with self doubt and always looking at improving myself as a person. With hopes that one day I'll be the person I'd like to be for mine and their sake, it's an optimistic tribute to my best friend. Favorite line: "the cycle ends until the sun rises again, you're my best friend."

Thank you all so much! Check out Essential and our other music on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, and other places! I hope you all enjoyed this personal look at these songs that got me through the worst parts of 2020.

#tuesday x #emo #music #alternative #art rock #diy music #diy #midwest #underground #lyrics #essential #covid19

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smallfrost · 4 years

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Homeostasis in Motherland: Fort Salem - From Magic to Matches

There are many themes beautifully woven throughout MFS, but perhaps the most beautiful is that of duality. Two completely opposing concepts that balance themselves as two sides of the same coin. Between these two elements, an equilibrium is reached and it is this balance that feeds not only the magic but also the narrative of this universe. That is, we see this balance in the intentional character pairing (both romantic and platonic), within the constructs of characters themselves, and we see it built directly into the magic system. (as a side note, the lovely ladies of the Fort Salem Witching Hour podcast discuss this pretty often; I highly recommend you listen).

There has been a lot of talk on the beat about the different types of magical canon and styles we have seen so far in MFS. People have begun cataloging and breaking down the magic system (shout out to @trash-deluxe!). It seems this system is leaning more towards a Hard magic system rather than a Soft one. That is, it is built on a defined set of rules rather than just existing. The crux of this system itself is the maintenance of balance, or by another name, the law of equivalent exchange. In order to take something, something of equal value must be given. And there are many examples of this throughout the story...

Eliot elaborates on the magic system in a couple early interviews (here and here), outlining the structure of seed sounds (there are 61 apparently) and how they can be used to produce work. But a prominent theme continually mentioned is the idea cost. He states, “Such is the nature of magic in this world – big gains require big sacrifices” and elaborates on how advanced Necro magic can almost bring someone back from the dead but at a high price. We can assume this is directly referring to the creation of the death current during Beltane, which was only possible due to the high levels of magical energy at that time (and potentially the veils between the worlds being thinner).

Massive work takes massive energy

But we get a taste of this price from Adil when he schools Abigail about their use of American Canon having a cost. That the tornadoes and hail storms they create inadvertently result in floods, famines, and plagues as the world fails to compensate for the loss of balance. I discussed this in a recent post; disease is a direct result of failure to maintain balance when witches take without giving. While this is happening on a global scale, Khalida gives us a taste by pulling all the energy and life force from the plants around her while she schools Alder about not being worthy to carry [the Tarim’s] songs.

I’ll just zap all the plants and show you who’s the boss, Sarah

How about an example of a balanced energy exchange in this universe? Well, that would be Raelle. The source of energy for her work is herself. She is transferring her own energy to take on the afflictions of whomever she is healing. The balanced is maintained. So ironically, the unconventional fixer method is the better system to call upon for maintaining magical equilibrium.

It’s okay, I have a good metabolism

And now that Raelle’s transfer has been shifted into the Mycelium, we are going to see drastic consequences for the balance of the earth around Fort Salem and, perhaps, increased penalties for the use of magic without giving (i.e. stronger plagues, more repercussions).

Covid-19 slowly taking over the world... whose game of Pandemic went rogue?

But balance isn’t only written into the magic system of MFS; the theme of duality is woven throughout, with opposites counteracting each other at almost every turn.

We see balance in the duality of social classes, from civilians and witches to High Atlantics and dodgers.

Final boss battle vibes to the max

The cinnamon roll that could actually kill you

I just can’t wait to see these two go head to head

We see the balance of old and new; from direct energy transfer to maintain youth, seen between Alder and the biddies, to the balance of a new generation (Abigail) counteracting the old (Petra).

Run away, Devon, Run away

Like mother, like daughter

We see balance in the ideologies, with Abigail and Adil representing two perspectives on how magic should be utilized. (Also within our little Bellweather unit with each one having a different perspective on where witches belong in the military).

LOL Abigail, you may think you know boys but news flash... you don’t

We see it in the balance of control and wildness; Anacostia being a pillar of strength and stability, compartmentalizing her emotions while Raelle is reckless and irrational letting her grief run wild.

Just you wait until Citydrop, Anacostia. Shit is about to GO DOWN.

We even see internalized balance. We see grief and happiness within the members of our Unit (All three experience this in their own ways) and good and bad encompassed within both the Spree and the Military. Also see this excellent breakdown discussing more of Raelle’s duality by @likethefoximalwayschanging

With the light of her life and without... literally

And we see balance in life and death; the necro and the healer.

Together, their power is limitless

It is no accident that Raelle is one who gives/saves life while Scylla channels death. They themselves represent the equilibrium necessary to keep the system in balance. A literal embodiment of the circle of life. Perhaps they will be able to utilize this self-renewing source of energy to create magic of an unforeseeable scale. In fact, their work may be the difference between a total collapse in global equilibrium and restoration of balance. And I wouldn’t discount the possibility of them being able to create a sort of life essence in their own way; a form of resurrection so to say. After all, from death, comes life, over and over.

Until then... lets relish in the delicious harmonies we have been blessed with.

#MFS Research Institute #mfs analysis #motherland fort salem #motherland: fort salem #duality #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #abigail bellweather #tally craven #adil #khalida #sarah alder #petra bellweather #president wade #Anacostia quartermain #raylla #raelle x scylla #scylla x raelle

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go-events · 4 years

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GO Rom Com Spotlight: @themisspool

The most excellent @themisspool (also Rokikurama on AO3) has claimed Bridget Jones's Diary to adapt for Good Omens in the Good Omens Rom Com Event.

For reference, here’s a little background about the source material!

About Bridget Jones's Diary: At the start of the New Year, 32-year-old Bridget (Renée Zellweger) decides it's time to take control of her life -- and start keeping a diary. Now, the most provocative, erotic and hysterical book on her bedside table is the one she's writing. With a taste for adventure, and an opinion on every subject - from exercise to men to food to sex and everything in between - she's turning the page on a whole new life.

We spent some time chatting about how the adaptation is coming so far, as well as future plans for it! Now, get to know @themisspool a little better!

* * *

goromcom: A little about you! You know how if you open a Tumblr chat with someone you haven't chatted to before, Tumblr tells you two things they post about? I wanted to tell you that yours reports that you post "about #1920s art and #art nouveau". Oh, those are great styles! What do you especially like about them?

themisspool: Hah! I'm terrible at tumblr, so I didn't actually know that. I've always loved the art of the 1920s and art nouveau; something about how it's simultaneously geometric and full of fussy detail really appeals to me. P.G. Wodehouse is one of my favorite authors, just because of his style. After reading LieutenantLiv/JustKeepTrekkin Good Omens fic "Celestial Bodies" set in the 1920s, I was off and running with merging that interest and Good Omens.

goromcom: Oh, yes, I think it’s a lovely style as well. But let’s move on to your rom com project!

You chose to adapt Bridget Jones's Diary as your rom com. Has this movie been a favorite of yours, or is there some other reason you chose it?

themisspool: Bridget Jones's Diary is a long time favorite of mine! I greatly enjoyed the book as well. I also chose it because I like playing with unusual formatting, and the "diary" aspect is a great way to incorporate unusual formatting into a fic.

goromcom: I really like it when authors get creative with online presentation of their works, so this should really be a treat. What's your favorite moment of your movie, and are you looking forward to presenting it in your adaptation? Any loose plans for that scene that you can share?

themisspool: It’s definitely when Bridget quits her job and publicly humiliates her boss/ex in front of all of their co-workers. I'm greatly looking forward to that scene, though I don't want to give too much away! All I'll give are three little teaser details: Crowley works in social media, I needed a contemporary analog for then-Global Bad Guy Saddam Hussein, and I'm American.

goromcom: Can’t wait to see who the mystery bad dude is... Other than adapting that scene, do you plan to stick very closely to the beats of the original story, or make bigger changes?

themisspool: I'm somewhere in the middle, I'd say. Bridget Jones's Diary is itself a loving modern AU of Pride & Prejudice, so Bridget's family is a big part of the movie. I'm downplaying that aspect and instead enlarging the love interest's (Mark Darcy/Colin Firth) role. Otherwise, while I'm changing a lot of the actual scenes, in terms of what actions play out and what dialogue is used, the emotional beats are staying fairly consistent.

goromcom: I think I can ask one more question for a final tidbit from you without asking you to give too much away. Other than what you’ve already outlined here, what's an interesting decision you've made in your planning so far--a notable casting decision, a changing of venue, or some other plan you have to paint Good Omens all over your rom com?

themisspool: The big decision that seems to have surprised people is that I'm casting our beloved Anthony Crowley as Bridget Jones! He just has "Big Gay Disaster" painted all over him, and I have trouble seeing Aziraphale as anything but an intellectual. That makes Aziraphale Darcy our resident love interest and socially awkward upper-class do-gooder.

goromcom: Lovely! And now I am a woman of my word and I’ll stop myself there before I entice you to give too much away. Into my last question. I am blatantly stealing it from The Good Place: The Podcast, but here goes: Tell me something "good". It can be something big or small. It can be a charity you think is doing good work, or you can talk about how great your pet is.

themisspool: I love this question because it's so important to seek out the "good" things in the world right now, when everything seems to be crumbling into a flaming trash heap. (See earlier: Rokikurama is American.) I subscribe to the philosophy that some good things decrease world suck while other increase world awesome. Mijente does really essential work with migrants, particularly those imprisoned at the America-Mexico border. National Novel Writing Month increases world awesome by helping so many people start (and keep!) writing.

goromcom: Such lovely things!

And while we’re talking about lovely things, it’s not long now before we’ll all get to read the GO adaptation of Bridget Jones’s Diary!

Bonus preview: Movie poster!

#goromcom #goromcom spotlight #good omens #themisspool #bridget jones's diary

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gingerautie · 5 years

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“… of course referring back to people coming from Europe, where they had class-based societies, where people were considered wretched if they weren’t in the right class.”

It is still fundamentally hilarious to me that some americans think you don’t have a class based society.

You 100% do. Like, every single time some podcast host who thinks he’s hilarious does a ‘redneck’ voice, or says something about “white trash”, that’s class based.

You have the same level of social mobility as the UK, and we have a literal, honest to god ARISTOCRACY. Like, there’s people called the Baron/Marquis/Count of somewhere or other, and that’s an inherited title that’ll go to his oldest son along with a shitton of land.

You absolultely consider people wretched for being “trailer trash” or whatever. That’s what social class systems look like. Even if they become rich, they’ll still have a “trashy” accent and opinions and tastes, and they’ll be judged for it.

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captivemuses · 3 years

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𝒫𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝐼'𝒹 𝐿𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒯𝑜 𝒢𝑒𝓉 𝒯𝑜 𝒦𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝐵𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇

1. Alias / name: Sarah

2. Birthday: December 13

3. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

4. Height: 5′3

5. Hobbies: shitty graphic design, crocheting, watching anime, playing video games, watching youtube, cosplaying

6. Favorite color: purple

7. Favorite book: don’t make me pick just one that’s rude lol. favorite book series would be either Harry Potter (JK can go die in a hole but I still love the stories) or the Captive Prince trilogy

8. Last song: ASO (Too Much Volcano) by Abroad in Japan

9. Last film / show: just finished watching an episode of the Trash Taste podcast

10. Recent reads: in the middle of a Pandora Hearts re-read. currently on volume 3

11. Inspiration: music, re-reading manga panels, fanfiction, fanart

12. Story behind url: i was in the middle of or just finished up with another reread of Captive Prince, and I was thinking about making a multi but didn’t have a good idea for a URL, but knew I wanted to maybe try and incorperate some sort of CP reference, and eventually came up with captivemuses since it’s just a hodgepodge collection of old muses I can’t ever get rid of, and new muses that come and join the party eventually

13. Fun fact about me: I went to Australia when I was four or five and got genuinely upset at the end of the trip that I couldn’t bring home the pony I rode while on the trip. Told my mom I could just put him in the overhead compartment of the plane and he’ll be fine.

Tagged by: @tclesnmirrors @ozlepus and anyone who wants to steal this from me!

#ooc

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recentanimenews · 3 years

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INTERVIEW: Ladybeard Introduces BABYBEARD, The Kawaii Metal Pop Idol Group

Few entertainers have had a career as varied as Ladybeard’s. The Australian performer has worked as a pro wrestler, an anime voice actor, and a death metal vocalist, all while wearing a frilly dress and pigtails. His latest role: singing and dancing as a member of BABYBEARD, the idol group he formed last year. Alongside petite co-members SUZU and KOTOMI, their names styled in all caps, Ladybeard’s formidable vocals complete the group’s kawaii metal vibe.

Though the covid pandemic has kept the trio from doing live performances, their knack for viral social media content has helped them share their peppy, positive, and frequently brutal music with the world. The result has been global; BABYBEARD’s first single, Nippon Kara Konnichiwa, was Number 1 on the J-pop charts in Germany and Finland, Number 2 in Australia, and Number 34 in the US the week of its release in April 2021.

We sat down with Ladybeard, SUZU, and KOTOMI for a video interview about the new group with Ladybeard’s manager, Shiori, translating the girls’ answers. Then, we talked to just Ladybeard about his pronouns, the pandemic, and what’s next for his eclectic career.

Orsini: How is your work with BABYBEARD different than the work you were doing before?

Ladybeard: One of the things that is interesting about launching a group [during the pandemic] is that 100 percent of our activities so far have been over the internet. So the girls have actually interacted with fans overseas more than they’ve interacted with fans in Japan thus far. It’s a new experience for both of them.

KOTOMI: I was in a different group before BABYBEARD. We did in-person live performances. In this unit, we’re doing online stuff mainly and getting global attention. I’m really excited about the fact that we can stream online and get listeners from all around the world.

SUZU: I am actually really surprised to get a lot of attention from overseas fans. I’m excited to go to foreign countries and perform in the future.

Ladybeard: This is SUZU’s first group. I wish my first thing ever had been like this, instantly getting access to the whole world — I’m so jealous!

What is the most unique skill that you bring to the group?

SUZU: A huge smile.

KOTOMI: I’m a huge otaku of idols. My enthusiasm and passion for idols is what I bring. [She’s a fan of the idol group Kamiyado.]

Ladybeard: I’ll PR the girls for a second. We held global auditions for this group, people were brought in from the entire world. Of course, who could seriously be considered was limited by who could physically get to Tokyo. The total number of applicants for the audition was 100, and then after the first cut, 52 made it to the first in-person audition. After another cut, there were 10 final candidates from which SUZU and KOTOMI were chosen.

Very interestingly, SUZU was the first person through the door of the audition and KOTOMI was the last person through the door. SUZU came in with a beautiful smile, which was lovely, sang and danced and was a ray of sunshine. She set a very high bar and it wasn’t until KOTOMI came in that that level of brightness was matched. KOTOMI is a very good dancer and she blew us away.

And to answer your question, clearly what I bring to the group is this beard.

For the girls, what were your first impressions meeting Ladybeard? What is it like working with him now?

KOTOMI: I met Ladybeard for the first time in my audition. At the time I was so nervous I couldn’t remember what was going on. But he was very kind to me and I was really happy about that. He’s a really hilarious and cheerful person and I really enjoy working with him.

SUZU: When I met Ladybeard at first, I felt he was naturally energetic, cheerful, and friendly. That first impression has not been changed.

Ladybeard: Poor SUZU gets elbowed in the head a lot, poor girl. Our pose is me flexing with the two girls on either side of me. And when we go through it, the three of us in a line, it’s always SUZU who catches an elbow. I feel so bad, she’s been elbowed several times. If I’d been repeatedly elbowed in the head, I’d be far less enthusiastic.

Aside from flexing together, how do the three of you bond as a team?

Ladybeard: Keep in mind that this is the main activity we’ve done together — sitting on Zoom. But we’ve started singing and dancing. The girls are very sweet. They’re both really hard working.

What is the creative process behind the videos you post to social media? Do you all add input?

Ladybeard: Yes, it’s pretty collaborative. Actually, Shiori comes up with a lot of good stuff for TikTok. With her help, we now have two TikTok videos with 2.4 million views: “Physically fit” and “Magical girl transformation(LB cut),” and one YouTube short at 16 million views — “When the manager isn’t in.”

Image via Suzu Nakayama

What are your favorites?

KOTOMI: “When the manager isn’t in."

SUZU: “Hide and... FREAK!!” My mom said it was very cute.

Ladybeard: For me it was the very first one, the launching BABYBEARD one with Nippon Kara Konnichiwa. It was the first time we showed the group’s image to the world. That was the first time the world saw the girls’ faces; before that, everyone had a mask on.

When the manager isn’t in.#whenmomisnthome Check out BABYBEARD’s video! #TikTok https://t.co/qr3hVLbwxU pic.twitter.com/hlvCdBq3Xm

— BABYBEARD (@babybeard_japan) April 17, 2021

What are you most excited about for the future of BABYBEARD?

Shiori: Both girls say they want to go on a world tour and meet their fans overseas.

Ladybeard: Finally getting to do this because very clearly it’s what the world wants from me. Last time [I was in an idol group] it was brought to an unfortunate end, and for five years people have been asking me to do it. And then once we were finally able to do it, to then have this pandemic show up, it’s like come on now. For me, just to finally actually do it, to get on stage and take it overseas, to give the fans what they’ve asked for for the past five years, for me it’s, let’s go, I just really want to do it.

[At this point, we say goodbye to SUZU and KOTOMI as they go on to other appointments.]

Idols in Japan have to adhere to strict behavioral rules. As an unconventional idol, which ones do you definitely have to follow and which ones are you allowed to bend?

Ladybeard: Your private life has to remain on the wraps. In this management company, I have not been specifically given instructions about what I can and can’t do in my private life, but I already know that whatever happens needs to stay under wraps.

On the Trash Taste podcast, I mentioned that I have a boring hobby. I’m not allowed to tell you what my boring hobby is because it’s too boring and it’s not in character.

Image via Babybeard

How has your dynamic with your fans evolved throughout your career?

Ladybeard: This is one of the most interesting things about being a professional crossdresser. This career has been going on for 12 years now. In that time, as much as Ladybeard evolves, the world evolves around Ladybeard as well. As attitudes generally change, you can see how that directly affects your interactions with the fans, and directly affects your interaction with the rest of the world, too. For instance, it was about two years ago, suddenly everybody started asking me what my pronouns were. But that conversation had not made it to Japan so I was like, “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” We’d be attending conventions in the Western world and I’d be asked, “What are your pronouns” and I’d say, “What?”

Shiori: It’s probably because we don’t use pronouns in Japanese as a language. We don’t use specific pronouns to describe people. We can cut the subject in a sentence, so we don’t think about it. In Japan, Ladybeard’s pronoun is “Beard-chan.”

So what are your pronouns?

Ladybeard: He, she, whatever you like. It’s not something that really bothers me at all. I’ve been called “that jackass” so many times that the wrong pronoun isn’t going to upset me. If I were sensitive to what people were saying about me, I picked the wrong career.

I definitely wanted to talk to you about gender so I’m glad this came up. I recently saw an interview with the actress Amanda Bynes who said she became depressed and experienced gender dysphoria after cross-dressing as a man in a movie. What does it feel like to see photos of yourself all over in a feminine gender presentation?

Ladybeard: Feels like Tuesday. I barely notice it anymore. It’s just going to work.

So you feel really comfortable in the Ladybeard persona?

Ladybeard: Very comfortable.

Image via Babybeard

Where do you end and where does Ladybeard begin?

Ladybeard: So what you just said about that actress, Amanda Bynes. She was an actress playing a role. She went through that process for the sake of a film. For me, I made this character and it came from me. Now it’s an extension of me. Lady Gaga says something similar about herself: she refers to herself as a Gaga-Stefani hybrid.

I’m not sure, where do I end and where does Ladybeard begin? That’s a really good question. It’s like asking “where does you at the office end and where does you hanging out with your Nana start?” They’re both you. It’s just you at different times and different circumstances.

But I’m so comfortable in the skirts and whatnot now. Occasionally we go out in public and people are like, “Oh, a guy!” and I remember, “Oh yeah, I’m in a skirt!” and that’s not what everyone else is doing and I’ve almost forgotten about it.

Interestingly, if I crossdress in the Western world that’s when I remember, because that’s where I get abused. When I crossdress in public, no one [in Japan] harasses me. But in recent memory, it’s happened once in Paris and once in London. When it happened, I was like, “Oh yeah, this happens! I’d totally forgotten about it.”

Image via Babybeard

You’ve said that for you, being a man in a dress isn’t about being the butt of a joke, but about changing the energy in a room. Why do you think your crossdressing has that effect?

Ladybeard: It started in Australia. Oftentimes, crossdressing has the potential to get the same reaction as what we just spoke about in London and Paris. There’s a bipolar reaction. It’s either anger and abuse, or it’s “Look at this guy!!” Because everyone acknowledges that hairy men generally don’t walk around wearing cute little skirts.

It’s interesting: people see me and they put whatever is in their head onto me. If they’re super conservative, they may think hateful thoughts. But if they’re not, they may think, “This crazy guy!”

And if they’re LGBT?

Ladybeard: That’s a question I’m actually not good at answering because every member of that community feels a different way about me. I was very cautious when I started this because I was frightened that the LGBT community would think that what I do is a piss-take of what they take seriously. And it’s not, but I can see how they would think that. But I have been told that there are members of the community who feel that way about me, which is very unfortunate and not at all what I was trying to do.

And then there are other members who have completely embraced me. When I got to Japan I was surprised by how much I was embraced by the LGBT community here. My image has been taken and used to advertise gay bars here.

Image via Babybeard

In a previous interview, you said this about the appeal of your metal covers of pop songs: “It takes what you’re used to and subverts it.” I think this sentence is a good way to explain your appeal as a performer. Would you agree? Why or why not?

Ladybeard: With my old group, and now with BABYBEARD, it’s a series of pieces nobody ever would have thought to put together, and then they come together and work very well. And I think there’s something very beautiful about that: the surprise of it, the fact that it works when it really shouldn’t. There’s something very lovely.

With my personal career, I’ve always tried to make the masculine side of me as masculine as I can, and the feminine side of me as feminine as I can, and then try to create the biggest gap possible between those two dynamics. I think the group extends that further. Because it means that my masculine qualities are emphasized and the girls’ feminine qualities are emphasized. It’s an extension of the Ladybeard concept into a three-person formation.

It’s like pineapple on a pizza. Half the people love it and half the people want me dead.

So do you get a lot of hate?

Ladybeard: Less than you’d expect, and not for a long time. I think it’s just that I’ve been doing this for so long that the people who wanted to hate on me, hated on me and then moved on.

With BABYBEARD, you’ve had a role in choosing the name, the musicians, and even your fellow members. How did it feel to have so much say in the process?

Ladybeard: Excellent, it was great. Our current boss trusts us, (me and manager Shiori), regarding stuff outside Japan, appreciating that we at times potentially understand variables like culture and foreign fans’ tastes better than he does. So he listens to our opinions.

Simple joys...???? BABYBEARDの投稿動画を楽しみましょう！#TikTok #babybeardhttps://t.co/QAWRV4ZwNa pic.twitter.com/ywbMkVSauU

— BABYBEARD (@babybeard_japan) April 21, 2021

Memes are such a big part of BABYBEARD. Do you think internet literacy is an important part of your job?

Ladybeard: Shiori is better at it than I am, that’s for sure. I’m very bad at it. But yes, it’s very important and I need to get better at it!

The internet is an inseparable part of everyone’s lives now, isn’t it? Back when I started Ladybeard it was like, “there’s this thing called YouTube, you’re watching stupid videos there,” and now it’s so integrated into our lives it’s ridiculous. Regarding the group, we’re doing as much as we can online while you can’t physically see us, but when we can, please come to the live show because it’s going to blow your faces off.

That’s the other thing about the internet. It’s changed how people want to consume live performances because back when I was a kid and you’d go to see a heavy metal show, there’d be three circle pits going on and there’d be this insanely brutal moshing and so forth. There’s much less of that now because people want to film with their phones. There’s social media, interacting with the show, interacting with the video of the show — both people who are there now and who are watching online, that’s become part of the live show. As the performer, it’s your job to adapt to that and make sure your performance works for that environment.

What was it like recording your new singles? Did Covid-19 make it more difficult?

Ladybeard: Covid-19 didn’t necessarily affect the recording process, but it did affect the content. The lyrics of "Nippon Kara Konnichiwa" are about how we want to see you and be with you and hug you but we can’t, so until that’s possible we’re sending our love through the web. That’s the theme we’re trying to push until we’re able to leave the confines of the nation. Until then, we’d like to give everyone as much Internet love as we can.

Lauren Orsini is a fandom reporter and anime critic. You can find her Twitter here.

By: Lauren Orsini

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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valeriemperez · 6 years

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Hey! What do you think of this storyline with timeline 23 Penny on the Magicians? Honestly, while I think it's an interesting idea/twist, I miss OUR Penny and I hope this isn't permanent. I don't like this Penny and Julia relationship and I am feeling heartbroken for Kady having to see a version of Penny who is love with someone else. I've grown attached to our Penny and his journey on the show and I don't think this character should be interchangeable with another version.

I am feeling what you are, honestly. As cool as it is to see the perspective of a different timeline and have a Penny on screen while ours is trapped, I’m not okay with permanently switching them out. I’m attached to our Penny just like you are, and I would never want to leave him behind. I hope Kady is able to rescue him in the finale, because I don’t want to wait all hiatus to find out if he’ll be okay.

I don’t mind if Julia falls for Penny-23 as long as we get our Penny back, but I am lowkey feeling like the show is going to loop back around to Julia/Quentin. Plus, this last ep I felt like Penny-23 understood Julia when she said she can’t be his Julia, and he also felt for Kady when he realized how much she loved her Penny as well.

Tati, you’re the most realistic person in this fandom. Ralph hasn’t been on set since the episode 18. Now do you think we can hope that he’s gone for good or you think he’s gonna show up before the finale? do you think the producers are gonna get rid of Ralph (kill him or make him leave)? because we know Ralph is a good friend for Barry in the comics but Ralph in the show is absolutely trash. Hartley seems like a good guy but I really don’t want to see Ralph in season 5.

Oh, my! That’s a high compliment, though not totally deserved lol. That being said, I’m afraid I expect Ralph to be back in the finale. I don’t think they’ll want the same downer ending as usual, so I expect them to be able to save him in the finale. I just hope they’ll let him move on and live his own life separately after that.

I think this will be a test of where their tastes align, if that makes sense. If seems like fanboys and the reddit crowd love Ralph while female fans and critics… do not. So fingers crossed that they agree with us and not with them!

i’m starting to think Barry’s diapers line may not refer to twins. esp if it happens in the finale, it could just be that they find out Iris is pregnant right after Cecile has the baby, and so it’s just in reference to “another” baby coming. esp if Iris announces it in a group scene or something

I can see that, but I do still think Iris will give birth to twins in the end. But it’s possible we won’t know based on the “more diapers” line. Hmmm….

This is gonna have to be where I leave LOT. Like, islamophobia toward Zari treated like a joke and never acknowledged as wrong? Calling a blonde white woman genetically superior? Underutilizing Kuasa for an entire season and then bringing her back just to kill her? On top of the mischaracterization of Wally, the bashing of the West family and all the gross racist undertones that come with it? I’m out. Wally needs to come home ASAP. Will keep up via your (awesome!) podcast.

Yeah, it’s a lot of offenses piling up one after the other, I agree. The season was going so well for me, but now it’s harder for me to enjoy it amidst the insensitivity.

#the magicians #the flash #legends of tomorrow #anonymous #tatiana's thoughts #more asks under the cut #long post for ts

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trashtasteanimated · 1 year

Photo

Production Update - Animation Shot 🍾

Take a look at the progress of one of the shots in the opening sequence featuring a ramune bottle! This shot included a mixed media approach. This approach was selected as the ramune bottle was quite intricate and having a reference was overall thought to be for both the easiest and the best result.

We started by first gathering some live footage of a ramune bottle and recording a video to get a better understanding of the type of movement we’d like for this shot. Following that, a 3D model was animated to replicate that. A camera zoom was then added for effect.

In the 2D animation stage, the bottle was first retoscoped and then adjustments were made. The frame rate was switched to be on 2s, then frames were further exaggerated through angle changes.

Animated by: Liz

Composited by: Cat

Roughs -> Clean Lines -> Base Colour -> Final Composite

🍙 What is Trash Taste Animated?

Trash Taste Animated is an animation project which aims to create a 30 sec opening animation for the Anime podcast Trash Taste.

Follow the blog to see our progress throughout this project!

What is Trash Taste? || About Us || Pre-Production || Concept Booklet

#Production Update #animation #Liz #trash taste animated #trash taste #trash taste podcast #trash taste fanart #trash taste fandom #the anime man #cdawgva #gigguk #Fanart #fan project #trash taste fan project

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uglymanchronicles · 6 years

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UMC:R Chapter 4: Systems Check

This one’s a bit of a weird one--basically a heavy-handed excuse to describe my own character in weirdly homoerotic detail. But it has some PATHOS and I otherwise had fun writing it. There will be probably two more chapters before the prequel ends and we start getting back into where the original UMC started. Enjoy!

“Fffffuck me.”

Evan really hoped he wasn’t falling into a pattern of sudden switches between consciousness and unconsciousness. It couldn’t be good for his brain. Speaking of...

He reached back and patted his head where it’d gotten intimate with the counter. There was some blood matted in his hair, but aside from that…

Evan sat up and turned around. There was a bit of blood on the counter, and some on the carpet where he’d been lying. But beyond a slight tenderness where his fingers touched the spot, there was no pain—and certainly no wound. How long…?

Evan pulled himself up, noticing how oddly easy it felt despite having very recently donkey-punched himself by proxy. The video was still going, but past-Evan had somehow unstrapped himself from the machine and was in the process of stumbling towards the camera. Before the screen went blank, Evan noticed the total length of the video. In comparison to what it had been when he’d toppled over, less than five minutes had passed.

In less than three minutes he’d almost completely healed from a potentially moderately-serious head injury. Not only that, assuming there hadn’t been any post-editing, his previous self had recovered enough from having his brain cored out to be able to free himself from a torture device, walk no worse than a six-drink-deep drunk, and manipulate electronics at least as well as a five-year-old. How much damage could he sustain and still function? Was there a limit? Could he even die?

Introspection provided no answers, and Evan suddenly found himself very uninterested in the question. Right now, all he wanted to do was take a shower. Maybe that would help put things in perspective. Plus, it was after midnight; if he was going to seriously consider DIY-ing himself into a superhero, he’d do it best after a good night’s sleep. There was also the little matter of the blood in his hair, but that barely registered as a concern in the face of everything else.

His bedroom door was littered with post-it notes and taped-up signs demanding he watch the video on the laptop. He felt a slight tinge of resentment for the earlier version of himself. Sure, he’d gotten the point across, but for God’s sake, there was such a thing as going overboard! Evan ripped off a handful of the notes and crumpled them up as he pushed the door open.

He groaned. The bedroom was almost unrecognizable. About the only thing familiar was his computer, which had been moved to a corner of the room and rearranged on an apparently homemade shelf-slash-desk-slash-whatever. What surface wasn’t occupied by his keyboard and mouse was filled with pieces of machinery and small piles of electronic components. He’d mounted his three monitors directly to the wall, apparently to save space; in addition, two flatscreen TVs, dated and obviously secondhand, hung on opposite sides of the corner of the room. So many papers, pictures, and maps were stuck to the walls that the cables connecting the myriad electronics were completely obscured. Had he really gone full tinfoil-hat? Evan groaned as he noticed colored pins and threads weaving an intricate web between the numerous pieces of media. Yep. He’d gone full whacko. If there were any actual, legitimate connections there, the connections had been lost when he’d rebooted his brain.

God, he was getting tired of putting off seeking answers. The temptation to dive into all this nonsense and sort through it was almost overwhelming. But he knew if he sat down and started digging through everything he’d be there for days and wouldn’t get anything else done. He looked around again and actually heard himself growl when he realized his bed was gone. His mind went to the bundled thing on the roof of the RV. Great. He’d uprooted everything to make room for his craziness. There was something in the space where the bed had sat, but it was covered in books, binders, and cast-off clothing.

He’d bought a Bowflex and stashed his bed to make room for it. Had he done this after he’d drilled a hole in his head? It seemed like the kind of thing a guy missing part of his brain would do. He peered back out of the door and saw that the loft at the front of the vehicle had been set up into a sort of mini-bedroom, complete with a long, flat dresser. Well, that made some kind of sense, at least.

Grumbling to himself about nothing specific, Evan hauled himself up to the loft to inspect what he was certain was a cluttered, hideous bolt-hole in his own damn home. He was pre-emptively sighing as he pulled himself over the edge, but never quite finished it.

“Oh.”

Another pleasant surprise. He’d actually set up a nice little room there. The mattress was very flat but looked fancy, like the kind podcasts were sponsored by. The mattress was topped with neatly folded sheets, an understated but tasteful light gray comforter, and surprisingly plush pillows. A legless nightstand nearby held a small lamp, a bottle of water, and a notepad and pencil, all arranged very deliberately. A small pile of books of varying sizes sat neatly by the mattress, and a small adjustable shelf affixed to the wall held another laptop. Across from the mattress, a small flatscreen TV hung on the wall, wrapping the whole scene up in a nicely cozy domestic package.

All in all, he was impressed. It was a quaint little living space cultivated out of what he’d formerly dismissed as a throw-away attic. He was a little miffed that the price had been his actual bedroom, but of all the things to begrudge his former self for, this was pretty low on the list. He hauled himself up and crawled to the dresser. As he opened the drawers, he realized how strange it was to experience his own idiosyncrasies from the outside. Each pair of socks was neatly knotted together, his boxers were folded perfectly square and sorted by color and pattern; it put him in mind of an adorably eccentric little old man, probably a watchmaker. That seemed like the kind of person who’d fold his clothes with a t-square and index them. The thought made Evan smile, but the wholesomeness of the image faded somewhat when he found himself thinking that guys like that usually wound up being serial killers.

Fresh clothes acquired, Evan hopped down and headed to the bathroom. It had been a hell of a thing to find an RV with a bathroom that wasn’t smaller than the average coat closet, but he’d scrounged around until he’d found a Class C model—the one with the bathroom you change clothes in without having to stand with one foot in the toilet. He had never regretted the extra effort and cost.

He stood in the center of the bathroom for a moment, steeling himself. It was time to rip the band-aid off, figuratively and literally. He stepped up the mirror and stared himself in the eyes.

He could almost see his thoughts reflected in the blue of his irises. Did he really want to do this? Not this whole thing, but this, specifically. If he could heal from practically anything but still needed to have his face under wraps, it must be really bad. Maybe he could just wear a mask the rest of his life, never knowing what he actually looked like. Avoid the ugly truth.

Even while he was thinking it, he knew how ridiculous that idea was. The chaos of the past few hours was stirring up a lot of generalized anxiety that was sending his mind strange places. Drilling a hole in his brain less than a week ago probably hadn’t helped on that front, either.

Time to start that journey of a thousand miles, I guess.

He tied back his hair, took a deep breath, and started to peel the gauze away. Adhesives caught on small hairs, tender skin grumpily sent his brain pangs of pain as it was uncovered. The air on the uncovered skin felt alien, as if it was only touching his skin very reluctantly. Evan’s leg was shaking involuntarily by the time the last bandage landed in the trash can, and he had to take a few deep breaths before he finally raised his gaze to the mirror again.

“……fuck.”

His previous self hadn’t been exaggerating when he said he wouldn’t be winning any beauty contests; if anything, he’d been understating the situation. He’d be lucky if he didn’t make kids cry when they saw him.

His left cheek definitely had the worst of it. His in-between-brown-red-tan skin—which he supposed could be called “ruddy”, but he liked to refer to himself as “ethnically ambiguous”—was covered in divots and spots from his mis-angled jawline up to just below his left eye. Evan slowly ran his fingers over his mottled skin, marveling at the variation between the individual pits, bumps, and gashes. There were actual small chunks of face missing. The texture of the skin was almost smooth to the touch but a little bit sticky, like the paint of an old house, complete with uneven coverage and bumps of buildup. Evan found that the skin didn’t hurt to the touch, but it also didn’t feel how skin was supposed to feel; his fingers didn’t immediately recognize it as skin, and the touch of his own fingers on his cheek came through muted and distorted, like the sensation was on a weak, distant signal. Christ. Was it a burn? No, it looked like he’d been too close to an explosion, all chopped up like that. Was it an accident or an attack?

Shit. It didn’t stop on his face, either. It had been hidden by his hair, but now that it was pulled back he could see that the pitting and gashes continued upwards along the side of his head. Pieces of his left ear were gone. Everything behind the top of the ear was a chewed-up mess. His lobe was still there, but not for lack of trying; a jagged tear ran from the back halfway to the front. It was like somebody had bitten the top of the ear off, then grabbed the lobe and tried to just yank it off.

After a few moments of staring at his ragged ear, Evan whipped his head around to check the other one. He sighed with relief as he saw it was intact, but the new angle brought the right side of his face into view. It wasn’t as bad as his left, but, unfortunately, his left side had originally been his ‘good side’; two long, curving scars, the result of an unfortunate incident with a turkey vulture during his teenage years, ran up the right side of his neck and peeked over his jaw about an inch up his cheek. Previously, that had been the extent of the damage to that cheek.

But now, in addition to a ton of tiny scratches and a few more small divots, his right cheek was taken up by a wide starburst-shaped scar that trailed off to a line and crossed his crooked nose like the tail of a comet, ending somewhere among the mess on his left cheek. It even looked like somebody’d tried to stitch it closed—upon closer inspection, the edge of the scar looked almost serrated. Clearly the stitches hadn’t held. He couldn’t imagine how much any individual part of that must have hurt.

His big, broad forehead was relatively unscathed save for a few “normal” scars, though a tiny triangular chunk of the far edge of his left eyebrow seemed to have left for greener pastures. After everything else, it was almost jarring how un-damaged he was above the eyes. Maybe he’d been wearing a helmet or something when whatever mutilated him happened. If it was just one incident.

Well, shit. He wasn’t quite the most mangled person he’d ever seen, but…

He felt tears start to well in his eyes as his fingers gripped the edge of the sink. It wasn’t fair. He’d been handsome, if a bit unusually so, before. Not that he’d taken advantage of it, but… to suddenly wake up to a face that was no longer his was frightening. He was hideous. Hell, he was almost a monster.

Evan’s heart pounded louder and louder as he fought back tears. There was no distinction between anger, sadness, and fear any more. A synesthetic mass of emotions stormed around his brain, crushing all his thoughts under the weight of pure mental chaos. He started to scream, a hoarse wail that pitched up gradually to a roar of insane fury as his whole body began to quake violently. He stared his mutilated reflection dead in the eyes as he continued to scream, a primordial, hateful rejection of the thing he saw before him. When he ran out of breath, he screamed between gasps; short, sharp shouts that consumed all the air in his lungs with each exclamation. He didn’t know how long he was screaming before something made a loud crack and came loose in his right hand.

Evan’s scream slowly trailed off as he looked down at the object in his fist. It was piece of the sink. In his rage, he’d gripped the countertop surface so hard that a palm-sized chunk of stone had broken off.

“What a cheap piece of…” Evan started to say, but then stopped. He’d dropped a hammer on the sink months ago and it hadn’t even chipped the surface. It didn’t damage easily. So what…

Evan’s eyes fell on his hand again. He’d always had huge hands, which stuck out on his lean, lanky arms like the end of a rake. Except his arm wasn’t lanky any more. He couldn’t pick out the bones in his wrist like he remembered. In fact, there was a lot more wrist than he remembered, circumference-wise. Ditto with his forearm (more scars there, too…), and his elbow was similarly magnified. And above that…

“JESUS CHRIST.”

Evan had never been a small guy. Even as a kid he’d been tall and wiry, with limbs that seemed a size or two too long for his torso. He’d hit six feet tall before he’d hit his 14th birthday. In high school, he’d been involved in a lot of sports, but always ones where being dexterous and fast were to his advantage. Even when he’d begun boxing he’d focused more on using his reach and stamina than developing sheer stopping power. After watching his two older siblings become hulking behemoths of human beings, he was aware that his family had the potential to be extraordinarily beefy, but he’d tried to stick to keeping himself slim and trim.

Clearly, something in the missing months had made him reconsider his stance on the issue. If his bicep was less than 24” around he’d be shocked. He raised his hand to shoulder height, clenched it into a fist, and curled it backwards.

“God damn, son!” Evan watched his own muscle bulge and shrink several times over, a grin slowly creeping over his face. Okay, yeah, he could work with this. That’d do just fine.

Like a kid on Christmas tearing into the biggest present under the tree, Evan yanked his shirt off over his head with violent enthusiasm. Underneath, he was still wearing that strange undershirt.

“Weird sequin armor. Later,” he muttered, dragging the strange garment off and tossing it into a corner where it settled with a soft slithering sound. Evan’s jaw dropped as he took in his bare torso. Wide-eyed and still staring downwards, he sidestepped his way back in front of the mirror. His gaze slowly raised to the mirror again, and he realized his horrifying face was split into a massive grin. Even with his disfigurement, his sheer excitement was clearly evident. He took a deep breath, held it for a second, and then yelled again.

“Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaa-uhhhhh, BABY!”

He didn’t have a ton in the way of resting definition, but the bulk of muscle was undeniable. Evan spent a few moments flexing his arms and shoulders, marveling how his skin shifted and bulged in novel and fascinating ways. He was at least a foot broader at the shoulder than he remembered, and that was just the start of it.

His chest was borderline absurd. Like his shoulders, it had broadened, thickened, and rounded. Evan gingerly poked at his bulging pectorals. Firm, but not rock-hard. Enough softness to still feel like a person instead of an object, but still extremely supple. He felt his cheeks flush.

He had boobs.

But… like, good guy-boobs? That was a thing, right? Some girls liked that. Some guys, too, he thought, feeling his cheeks burning a little hotter as some cobwebs were dusted away from that particular corner of his libido.

He knew he was fully blushing now, but a strange and weirdly irresitable notion was punching through the fog of embarrassment. Fuck it, he was alone. Who was going to see?

Evan put his hands under his pecs, lifted, and pushed them together, leaning forward and pursing his lips at his reflection. He winked at himself and made a kissing sound, then burst out laughing. He had cleavage! Almost four inches of it!

Evan flopped down on the toilet lid, giggling madly to himself. “I guess the big tits gene doesn’t just affect the women in the family,” he managed to chuckle, hefting ‘the boys’ again. He looked almost hilariously sexualized. In addition to his new bustiness, he was still sporting nipple piercings and belly button ring—remnants of teenage rebellion that he’d kept as a cautionary tale to himself against impulsive decisions. The silver spikes and brass ring somehow looked more at home on his new body; when he’d been scrawny they’d made him look like he was trying to audition for a ‘Suicide Girls’ knock-off. If only he’d had paler skin and a heroin addiction he could probably have made a lot of money with a webcam. Now he looked like he could be on the cover of a harlequin romance—albeit one with a lot of airbrushing and somebody else’s head imposed on his body.

So he’d beefed up in anticipation of… whatever he could call whatever he was about to undertake. That explained the exercise equipment, as well as several containers of various supplement powders he’d come across while checking on his food situation.

Now that he’d finished with his giggle fit over his tits, Evan was a little surprised by how long it’d taken him to notice how much his body had changed. Everything still moved the way he remembered; he still felt very light on his feet, despite his new bulk. Standing in front of the mirror again, he bent from side to side at the waist, testing his flexibility. Amazingly, he felt limber as ever. Apparently past Evan had done this bulking up thing right; despite the fact that his abdomen and obliques seemed to have been replaced with rock-solid slabs of beef, he was still able to easily bend down and touch his toes. While he was down there, he noticed that he hadn’t skipped the proverbial leg day, either—that, or he’d had a butterball turkey implanted into each thigh.

So… arms and shoulders three times bigger, a jaw-dropping rack, less “abs” and more “slab”, skull-crushing thighs and an amateur slasher movie face. He looked weird. But… he found himself liking it more the more he thought about it. He could do something about the face, or make it work for him. Make looking like a brute work. Be a fashion pioneer. Figure something out.

Now that his giddiness had died down a bit, Evan started looking himself over for other damage. The video had said he’d have a massive wound on his chest, but he hadn’t even noticed it at first. There was, indeed, a large discoloration a few inches under his left nipple, reaching around under his arm and around to his back, but it looked more like a giant birthmark than a fatal axe wound. Why was it so faint? Hell, the purple spot on his solar plexis, a sort of permanent bruise from a childhood injury, stood out more than it. His body was dotted with other, smaller scars that stood out much more; a few near his navel were definitely bullet wounds, and judging from the jagged pale lines above his right hip, a bear had tried to steal his kidney. Regardless of their size, wounds that could cause scars that severe should have been still hurting him bit, even after external healing. But he found that, aside from the scars, it was as if those injuries never happened. No sign of any internal injury. He felt extremely healthy, and he was grateful for it, but it wasn’t how that worked, and that started to eat at him.

The rules had changed and he had virtually no data on how any of it worked. He was no longer afraid, angry, or sad about his situation. Now he was annoyed. How was he supposed to go about this intelligently with only anecdotal evidence? The obvious answer was to start testing the properties of his healing, but what if there were strange rules? Did he have a personal kryptonite? What if he cut himself, and it turned out the healing didn’t work because of what the blade was made of, and he got an infection and died? What if there was a limited number of times he could heal? Was it like an extra life system?

Evan stepped back up the mirror again, now glowering at his reflection. Now that he wasn’t as shocked by his own appearance, maybe he could figure something out in the patterns of the scars. Some kind of clue in the type of injuries or something. Just a starting point. Some tiny little verifiable speck of data he could cling to like a drowning man.

Before any answers surfaced from his ruined reflection, Evan noticed something sticking out from behind the mirror. The corner of a yellow piece of paper was closed in the medicine cabinet door. He tugged it out and recognized his own handwriting again.

Thought you might need these.

Briefly puzzled, Evan pulled open the medicine cabinet. There, tucked amongst bottles of an alarming variety of supplements, was an old ‘Altoids’ tin, slightly dented and faded with age. As he picked it up, a familiar skunky smell wafted into his nostrils. He snorted with laughter as he flicked the tin open and pulled out three meticulously-rolled joints and his favorite lighter. After a second’s thought, he stuck all three between his lips and flicked the lighter open.

“Fuckin’ right I do.”

#chapter #Ugly Man Chronicles: Reignition #Ugly Man Chronicles #my writing

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fangirlinginleatherboots · 7 years

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this is a silly question but i was wondering if you have any art tips for systems? all of the anps like drawing but have vastly different tastes and technical abilities, haha. it's pretty frustrating and i'm having a hard time approaching it, like if trying to stay grounded and doing everything individually would be best or if i could try to delegate alters to different tasks? (we don't communicate directly at all but everyone has positive triggers like music/podcasts, idk if that's relevant)

(art anon again) my biggest issue tbh is starting a piece, dissociating, and then having something that's nice but i clearly didn't do, and also of course starting a piece only to find an alter completely trashed it and did something else that i don't like as much. idk why i rapid switch a lot and my therapist doesn't either, but it's most apparent through my sketchbook and digital art and it makes reaching art goals pretty difficult

hmm this is a tricky question.

i think the core of the problem comes from the dissociation that occurs while drawing. this is sort of a thing i had to deal with back at school when i was switching more often.

i feel like most artists, not even just artists in systems, tend to dissociate to some degree while working on a piece. people talk about getting into “the flow” of the piece and stuff like that. basically its just not active thought about where each line/color goes because you know what you want it to look like by the end. the thing is, when ppl do that, which is a totally natural normal thing i feel, they sort of limit themselves artistically (depending on the kind of art you do i guess). i feel like in order to actively improve your work, you have to put active, meaningful thought behind the placement of each line/color.

what im getting at is that when the art process becomes “comfortable” its really easy/highly likely you’ll dissociate because there’s less active/grounding thought involved in the process.

my fix for this with me was to stop drawing when i felt myself slipping away or to open another canvas and sort of start automatic drawing until an alter felt like taking over the new piece/changing activities. the actual thing that stopped it, or at least lessened the severity and frequency, though was setting very small bite sized goals for each part of a piece.

like i know the point in the drawing that i start dissociating is when i stop thinking about the mechanics and start just doing what feels like it looks good, so i started sketching more technically so i wasn’t comfortable and had to actively think. when i know the line art is where i start backing away, i made myself learn to do a harder sort of line so i had to focus more. same with coloring and such. i set a slightly harder goal for each step of the process, in addition to taking breaks more frequently, so that i could only get through it by thinking and using constant references and things like that.

you may also want to consider getting some lighter/thinner sketchpads and encouraging each alter to use their own when they want to draw. communication also seem to contribute to the problem, so maybe write notes on your sketchbook pages that discourage an alter from messing with the work

i also want to mention that i think delegating different parts of one drawing to different alters will worsen the over all dissociation and also be detrimental to the art (unless thats the sort of look youre going for in which case i guess???)

sorry this got kind of long ;;; i hope i could help a little

#collective #bootsie's advice column #Anonymous

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netflixonyourcouch · 7 years

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this joe budden/yachty face off is getting out of hand

link for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmjlA4LSaN4

so, just to preface and sum up a too long, didn’t read: joe budden is an outspoken rapper that was most known for his one single, “pump it up” back in 2003. he enjoyed a moderate amount of media attention before fading into relative obscurity. now he is the topic of ridicule for having one hit and still daring to have an opinion.

he has a youtube show called Everyday Struggle with DJ Akademiks, also of youtube fame. there he had Lil Yachty on the show and ended up yelling and screaming and trying to school Yachty on aspects of the music business and being true to himself. and i guaruntee if this was Drake instead of joe saying all this shit people would be mad fake and say, “Damn, Drake is so right....” lol

but naturally, there seems to be outrage against joe as the internet tries to make sense of it all. from what i’ve seen, much of the objection is how joe voiced his concerns, i.e. with all the yelling and shouting. okay, that one i can understand. but if you’ve ever listened to joe’s podcasts or even listened to his XXL rap bracket rant from years ago, you’d know that joe’s passion is the ONLY thing that’s coming out in his yelling. yes, he’s curmudge as fuck sometimes, but it’s not “bitter” and he’s not “hating.” joe is a man after my own heart, pause. cause i’ll just be like “twenty one pilots sucks” it’s not that i’m hating. i’m not bitter that they’re popular. it’s just that i’m passionate about the music in the same way and i have selective taste.

let’s take that last bit for a second more. “selective” doesn’t necessarily mean that a person thinks they have the BEST taste. it’s being able to articulate what you like, and what you don’t like. it’s making a choice, making a selection, drawing a line in the sand. a lot of people don’t have selective taste and that’s okay. they just like whatever comes along and don’t really challenge themselves to evaluate their tastes. that’s fine. what i don’t like is when people start acting like you’re not allowed to have selective taste. i don’t know when criticism became taboo, but it’s one of the most annoying things about modern times.

because the second most voiced complaint is due to the fact that lil yachty expressed that he’s happy, so why is joe trying to talk down to him? he should stop trying to ruin things. but this is a ridiculous abuse of logic that just makes my head hurt. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS HAPPY DOESN’T MEAN OTHER PEOPLE AREN’T ALLOWED TO VOICE THEIR CONCERNS. i don’t get why so many people think that “happy” overrides everything, but it doesn’t. you haven’t challenged any part of what joe said, you just tried to quit the game altogether.

yachty has no idea what kind of deal he’s in or if he’s signed to a 360 or not. that’s bad. if you don’t think yachty is on a fast track to become forgotten about, you’ve got another thing coming. like, there was a time where “i love college” by asher roth was like one of the biggest singles in hip hop. album came out and it flopped. “peek a boo” is trash. if it’s any indication on how the album is gonna sound like... just get ready people, lol.

but back to jellyfish matters here: yeah, this whole idea that “as long as someone is doing whatever makes them happy, why does it matter to you” is just bad. it’s anti-intellectual. it’s like 1984, you better say the acceptable thing or the thought police are coming to get you, lol. not to mention that: people are happy as hell doing all kinds of destructive behavior, or shit that is secretly hurting them while they’re blind to it. it’s not necessarily a bad thing to look out for someone.

i’m rambling, but the main idea here is that i see people attacking joe but really not kind of get what he’s talking about. or defending yachty for reasons that aren’t very strong.

#joe budden #lil yachty #everyday struggle #nadeska is fine as i don't know what

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retrauxpunk · 7 years

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I could probably do with more positivity in my brain, so here’s a list of 100 things that I like:

singing at karaoke with friends

ramen

international travel

rock music

the aesthetic of vinyl records

good book covers

good song lyrics

speculative fiction

bubblegum/softneon colours

warm soft peach-ish pink neon lights

ducks

rock music

my bottle opener ring that looks amazing and not like a bottle opener at all

getting drunk with friends

witty musical theatre

soft hoodies

ankle boots

short shorts

pink lemonade

amsterdam

having pink hair

when my eyeliner looks wicked

walking home from the city by myself after a good night

stand-up comedy

The Book of Mormon musical

bangers and mash

luxurious studio apartments in high-rise city buildings

small parrots

baby rabbits

black nail polish

stylish and comfortable jackets with shitloads of pockets

my phone’s killer battery life and fast usb-c charging

Paramore

The Wombats

the songs ‘LA Devotee’ and ‘Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time’ from Panic! At The Disco’s Death of a Bachelor album

the Hipgnosis covers of Pink Floyd albums

Pink Floyd

the way old Roger Waters looks

the way young Syd Barrett looks

Max Brenner Italian thick hot chocolates

making people laugh

making people laugh in job interviews

making a whole group of people laugh

the way playing electric guitar looks

the way bass guitars look

watching really kick-ass drummers busking

London

Melbourne

Sydney’s harbour

feeling familiar with one’s hometown

feeling familiar with a town that was once foreign but has become, in some way, home

the bus from Tübingen to Stuttgart airport

being young

having had a passion for drawing for as long as I can remember, knowing that for everything I’ve attempted and then quit, there’s always been art - the thing I’ve never quit, the thing I’ve always persisted with

the fact that I was, quite frankly, kickass with essays; I may not have produced stellar work consistently, but I always produced passable work with relatively low effort, even when I hated what I was doing; and besides that, there’ve been quite a few occasions on which I have produced stellar work

being proficient enough in German to live there if I had to (even if I couldn’t work in a German work environment)

my boyfriend

having a boyfriend who’s never made me feel insecure about how he feels about me

and who organises surprises for me

and who is insanely intelligent and talented

funky psychedelia-esque visuals

my graphics tablet, a Wacom Intuos3, which my mum bought me for my birthday nine years ago and still works FLAWLESSLY

Muji pens

drawing smut

making out against walls in public places at night

the way my legs look in black skinny jeans

the way my legs look in my favourite pair of heels

getting paid

having a relative lack of phone anxiety

having a good vocabulary

having a good enough body of scholarly knowledge that I can understand/make classy show-off wanker references

the moments in which I feel like I could be a writer, that I would be a good writer

being told that I’m eloquent/articulate

zines

being able to convert certain types of romantic pain into poetry

getting trashed in foreign cities with people I love

sleepovers with best friends

wine and cheese with my best friend

having friends whom I know really well and who know me really well, to the point where we are intimately familiar with each other’s tastes in books, men, etc.

knowing that I’d be able to flirt if I had to, with some confidence

feeling confident

being able to banter and joke in vulgar ways if the situation suits/calls for it

being able to draw relatively well

hearing people talk about how much they would love to be able to draw, and how in awe they are of people who can draw

being pretty much a natural at waterskiing, basic waterskiing at least

skiing

Dylan Moran

making specifically my boyfriend laugh

Ed Sheeran’s song ‘Galway Girl’

kisses on the neck

well-defined hands

feeling happy

feeling so happy that I start to wonder if something is going to go wrong

feeling so happy that I don’t even care that everything (namely, happiness) is temporary

cooking alone while listening to good music/podcasts

pasta

garlic

chicken noodle soup

friendly and kind strangers

getting happier and more confident with myself as I get older

#mine #writing that is mine

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