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#It's SO boring as a topic holy god
molinaesque · 6 months
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On the topic of Raphael and him "being bad in bed".
Okay I'm only ever going to talk about this at length once and then never again. I've been avoiding talking about it until now because bringing it up always just seems to keep this topic in circles and it becomes an endless pit of nothing.
First of all, I know most of the time (like maybe 70% of the time) it's for the lolz. I get it. Hell, Raphael fans will be the FIRST to quip about this.
BUT
For those taking it seriously one way or another... It becomes such old hat VERY fast.
Those who use it as a jab towards Raphael havers are... Kinda dumb. Because it's like... Okay, and? You act as if somehow negates the entirety of his character somehow just because "HAR HAR HANDSOME DEVIL MAN IS BAD AT SEX" and it's so... vapid and boring? Also it seems a lot of people keep thinking "bad at sex" = JUST that he finishes too fast and nothing else but they seem to forget that the player character came up with that insult on the spot (rather than seeing it as a commentary about his pure selfishness and where it stems from). Haarlep is also a bias source. There's a semblance of resentment from them AND they're a damn incubus. EVERYONE'S terrible in bed in comparison (have you seen Tav? Little shit just lays there like a sack of potatoes during the Haarlep scene). This isn't me saying "Oh it means Raphael is terrific in bed because Haarlep's word cannot be trusted". HELL, no. Quite the opposite, actually. I'm saying "okay... What can I glean from that set of information?"
I feel like this goes for Raphael havers too who have this conversation. I feel like many tend to fall into this trap of odd desparity when they realise that "oh no our magnificent hot man is bad at sex" and somehow treat it as if it's forever a caveat and somehow negates the ENTIRETY of Raphael as a complex character. My first reaction when I got this information during House of Hope was laughing and then going "mmm that's so interesting and adds such a great layer to this already amazing character. Where else can I take this to". In fact, House of Hope as a quest does SO much in adding all these tidbits that make Raphael not just another boring, all knowing, god like, ineffible character. It made me love and appreciate his character even MORE. instead of going in circles and lamenting in how this is somehow "the worst thing ever", I think it's way more fun to explore it and delve into where the root of his narcissism and self esteem issues come from. The dichotomy and complexes of his character. There's SO much to talk about there and yet we're still just stuck on "haha devil man is a bottom and bad in bed" (which is another ridiculous thing btw because people seem to misconstrue bottoms as JUST being submissive. Y'all need to be more open minded 😂).
Apologies if this came off as ranty/condescending maybe. But it's coming from someone who's just minding her own business but have to see a variation of that line CONSTANTLY in the notes/tags on my art/gif posts and as I said... It gets so old REALLY fast. Like please be more imaginative than this, I beg of you. 😭
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If it's any relief, Rung hasn't had this much excitement in his life for millennia, and is glad that it's what ends the great Cybertronian war
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querenciasturniolo · 9 months
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i absolutely love your writing! could you maybe write something like nick and y/n is best friends and play argue/ fight all the time but y/n accidentally admits her feelings about matt and nick goes ballistic?
obviously ⮕ n.s.
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word count: 1k
warnings: swearing, accidental confession, shame, embarrassment
summary: one slip of the tongue has you at a complete loss of words
a/n: thank you so much 🫶🏻 this is such a funny concept, and it was so fun writing it.
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
part one || part two
Nick never kept anything he was feeling to himself.
It was one of his many charms, constantly saying how he felt. You loved it, considering he was your best friend. You were never bored when Nick was on one of his rants. Right now was one of those moments, the two of you were laying in his bed, your stomach aching with how hard you were laughing.
“No, I’m serious! This old ass man was walking so fucking slow in front of me, and then pushed the pull door. He deserved it though, he wouldn’t let me pass.” He said. You shook your head and ran your hands through your hair.
“You always get yourself in the worst situations, I swear.” You said, another smaller laugh bubbling out of you as you sat up.
Nick pushed himself up and pulled his phone out. “Okay, topic change. Why are you posting all of these mushy, agonizingly painful text quotes about love on threads all of a sudden?” He asked. You turned to face him with your eyebrows raised.
“What are you talking about?”
Nick scoffed and tapped away on his phone, pulling up your threads profile and reading one of your posts out loud. “The only love that lasts is unrequited love.” He quotes dramatically, putting his whole soul into the theatrics. “I am in love with you, and I can’t do anything about it.” He finished. Your face was burning as you shook your head and shrugged.
“I don’t know, I thought they were beautiful.” You said, the look on Nick’s face completely unamused.
“Just tell me, Y/n. I’m not gonna judge you.” He said. He stood from his bed then, the expression on his face goofy. “Is it me? Are you in love with me? I wouldn’t blame you, I’m great.” You threw your head back and laughed, meeting Nick’s smiling face once more as you shook your head.
“Please, I’m not that delusional.” You said, reaching down and sliding your shoes onto your feet. “There’s no point in me saying it, because it would never happen anyway.”
Nick’s hand rested on your shoulder, your gaze meeting his. He was frowning, and you couldn’t help but scoff at him. “Okay, now I’m convinced that it’s me.” He said, a goofy smile on his face.
You snorted and shook your head before reaching for the door handle. “Nope.” You said, Nick raising his eyebrows.
“Chris, then? You guys have been hanging out a lot.” You scoffed and pulled a face, making it seem like you found it ridiculous.
“Wrong brother, but nice try.” You said, your hand freezing before you turned the knob. You could feel the gears turning in his head as he processed your slip up.
“Oh my God, it’s Matt, isn’t it?”
You turned your head to face him, more than likely resembling a deer in headlights as you met his eyes. His eyes were wide as realization dawned on him.
“Holy shit, I knew it!” He shouted. You shushed him, holding your hands up. Nick shook his head and stepped past you, slowly turning the door handle.
“Nicolas Antonio, I swear to God.” You said through your teeth, trying to avoid laughing as he ripped open the door and bolted down the stairs. You chased after him, shouting obscenities the moment you had him cornered. He was on the other side of the dining table, his smile playful as he moved from side to side, trying to catch you off guard. You were one step ahead of him, laughter trying its hardest to break through your lips as you beamed at Nick, shaking your head with each movement he made.
“I will smite you, I can promise you that.” You said, the both of you moving to the left quickly, completely switching sides of the table. Your back was to the sink, his to the stairs and both of your hands resting on the back of a chair.
Nick laughed quietly and shook his head. “I’m not going to tell Matt you like him, obviously. That’s just fucked up.” He said. You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, you noticed the movement out of the corner of your eye.
It took you too long to process that Matt was standing next to the fridge, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. You felt all of the color drain out of your face, shame and embarrassment creeping in as your eyes flickered between Nick and Matt. Nick finally turned around, his eyes widening when seeing Matt standing there.
Before anyone could say anything, you rushed around the table and down the stairs, rushing out of the house and to your car.
The entire drive home, you were ignoring your phone vibrating, wanting to let yourself calm down and get home before you even looked. It took you getting to your room and sitting on your bed before you even pulled your phone out to see.
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You sighed and messaged Nick back, letting him know you weren’t mad at him and that you just needed some time to yourself to process everything.
You were mortified, to say the least. It felt childish to be embarrassed about having your feelings for someone revealed, but considering you’d known him your entire life, it almost felt…desperate.
It felt as though you’d ruined everything. You never wanted Matt to find out about your feelings for him, you were planning on just ignoring these feelings and letting them go away. Knowing them for as long as you have, it felt almost wrong, like you weren’t supposed to have these feelings because of your friendship.
You groaned and dropped back on your bed, grabbing a pillow and pressing it against your face to muffle yourself. Tomorrow you’d be over this, you knew the embarrassment and shame would go away quickly. You’d never been the type to let something like this hold you down, but you figured it was the shock of it all happening so quickly.
It felt like you were laying there for ages, your pillow resting on your face lightly and your arms resting above your head. Your phone vibrated next to you, your hand reaching for it blindly as the other pushed your pillow off of your head. You figured it was a text from Nick, probably asking you if you wanted to talk about it or something along those lines.
Your heart stopped in your chest when Matt’s name lit up your screen. You immediately opened the text, your hands shaking as you read over the three words over and over again.
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Niffty Redesign! (3/7)
Holy shit was not expecting to finish in the same day much less in like… under 4 hours??? IDK IM HAPPY WITH HER THOUGH!!!!
My biggest inspiration this time was lovebugs and specifically this LPS lovebug
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Yes im colour picking Niffty from a littlest pet shop. Who is gonna stop me? Hasbro? They don’t even own LPS anymore!
Im making Niffty a bit tanner because while I see it a lot in other fandoms, I don’t ever see tan asian people in the Hazbin fandom, tbh this place seems like its allergic to melanin in general. There’s also a lot of stigmatisation around POC women in Hazbin like I’ve mentioned before. I plan on having Niffty deal with a decent chunk of stuff later on, a lot of it relating to obessions and romance and learning how to manage feelings like that and keep relationships with other people.
I wanted her socks to be cute but also held up by a garter belt so you can gather she’s got something going on. People seem to stray away from the topic of Niffty and sex or romance because they see her as a child or have infantalised her in some way. Yes ik I talk about this all the time but like GOD it pisses me off.
Her maid dress is actually a much darker shade of hot pink to the point its not really hot pink anymore but it is I promise
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Niffty’s main sins are lust, wrath, and envy, seeing as she is a lovebug and also her current backstory is killing a lover out of jealousy. The redder pink parts are supposed to be a mix of lust and wrath so I hope that comes across well?
The same thing can be said about her clothes and all that. With her dress and the reddish hearts it’s supposed to be like “in one sin there’s another” but idk how well I pulled it off. The stitched up heart is also supposed to represent her hopeful/eventually redemption. I’d like to give Niffty more character than just “crazy small lady” so I’ll be trying to balance being somewhat like that with also being a bit sensible. I think it definitely could be done but I have doubts Viv will do much with it.
It really sucks that the POC characters and especially women they just get reduced to one or two traits and then thats it. Viv already is terrible at writing women and I think writing Niffty for her is just boring because, again, she cannot write women. 90% of this rewrite is me saving the women/hj
There will be more indepth Niffty content from me eventually, as of now this is my backbone for her design and overall story. Btw I think her rubber gloves are cute but make really annoying squeaking sounds 24/7. No idea if I’ll pull off another fast design like this, but we shall see!🐐
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lowkeyrobin · 2 months
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can you pretty please try doing reader who is a certified yapper 🗣‼️ but also has moments where they just get tired of talking and are dead silent for like 20 minutes straight and then go straight back to yapping 😼 sorry if its super specific lmao but i do this all the time
also could i maybe be 🦋 anon??
hello!! welcome to the family 🦋 anon! and yes ofc :) sorry if I misunderstood, kinda autopiloted to mcyt so sorry if you meant this for another fandom LMAO ; struggled to think of new thoughts so sorry for small cast of people 💀🙏
MCYT ; certified yapper
includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, quackity, & nihachu
warnings ; language
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
he does the same thing
will rant about anything and everything especially if you're talking about the same thing
but if it's out of the blue like "omg look at this tik tok drama blah blah blah" he just blinks before he's like "oh shit. here we go again"
then you just stop talking after a moment and gets weirdly uneasy with the silence
"can you talk more?"
"about what??"
he just shrugs "I like when you yap away, you're nice background noise"
you dramatically scoff "Okay, asshole"
you're silent for a while and just start revving up the engine again "Holy shit here's another thing, this girl-"
TUBBO
will proudly listen to you yap on about some stupid shit or about lore to a show/movie you're fixated on
he'll ask you questions and stuff
he's used to it dw
you'll go silent for a little while like you're processing new data and he'll just be like "Okay, I think we should do xyz and..."
then you'll like come back to life and start talking again
he secretly sets a timer each time you go quiet until you start ranting again and he'll put it on his stream 💀
"damn, 19 minutes this time"
"Huh? 19 minutes for what?"
RANBOO
nods along and actually listens
dude doesn't care, they're listening to you no matter what
whether it be about serious topics or some silly internet stuff you like, he'll always listen and make sure to note it down that way he can start a conversation with you about something you like or are passionate about
"yknow what I like about the nether?"
"what?" he smiles
"how pretty and diverse it is. yeah you can say the overworld is just as if not more diverse with biomes and stuff, but they could've just left it boring red netherrack everywhere you go and stuff, it adds so much more life-"
they love how passionate about things you can be
if for a very extended period of time, they'll check up on you like "you good?"
you just nod like "I'm tired of talking L"
BADLINU
nods along with you
he doesn't see it as yapping, he sees it as a genuine conversation no matter what you're talking about
adds some stuff in when you like pause to breathe
once you go quiet he can just sit in silence with you forever
this is basically his opportunity to talk to you about like tik tok drama lmao
if you don't know about it at all, all ears open and you're focused
your dynamic 🔛🔝
QUACKITY
you're both yappers let's be honest
constantly talking over each other and play fighting for the most attention out of other people 💀💀
"SHUT THE HELL UP I'M TALKING"
"I WAS TALKING FIRST, LET ME TELL THEM ABOUT MY NEW FAVORITE MOVIE"
then you just get tired of talking and wanna strip mine or something LMFAO
he always checks to make sure he didn't upset you after every time you go silent
it's just by reflex lmao
he does listen to you when you yap about a fixation don't worry
gift inspo goes crazy
NIHACHU
loves when you talk or yap about something you like or some drama you found
she's like your safe person to talk about everything to, she loves having that kind of title for you
"and then xyz"
"Oh my God, really??"
she'll whole ass put everything down just to listen to you talk about dumb shit I swear
she encourages it, like just speak your mind dude
also uses what you talk about as gift inspiration for anything, birthday, valentines day, anytime she wants to get you stuff
half the time you forget what you just said and she recaps you
"Oh, thank you! anyways-"
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olderthannetfic · 2 months
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My experience with shippers has been such a mixed bag.
Sometimes there are those "controversial fandom takes" threads and some comments go like this:
"Shippers are the worst. They only care about their romance and never talk about anything interesting in the story outside of that!"
Which will be responded to with either:
"There are lots of ways to enjoy content, mind your business!"
Or
"Shippers are the backbone of a fandom. We can discuss the intricacies of the work AND be horny at the same time!"
I'm sure that's true, but that was rarely how it went in the fandoms I was part of, unlucky bastard that I am. Out of the languages I can understand, I only saw a few times fans engaged in discussions about several topics concerning the show or the book. The rest were either quiet or balls-deep in messy shipping behaviour that is often criticised.
The irony is that it was always the shippers who got angry when people complained about them being "that kind of fan" who would engage in huge blown-out public arguments online. The last time I saw it happen, a group got super angry when a random person online, who none of them followed, criticised their favourite ship in the quotes of a tweet that wasn't theirs. It was a dumb criticism from a person who didn't understand the characters nor cared to understand the chemistry that fans of that ship see. Very stupid and, to me, easy to ignore. But the shippers got so angry that the fight spread outside of their bubble and more random people got involved. Eventually, their fight reached a big artist from that ship and that person shaded their holy war by saying: "I love [pairing] as much as you guys do, but fighting over this is so unnecessary. Ignore them and stop doing this shit! How tiring and boring that this always happens!" and it eventually stopped. Later, I caught one of them wondering if the artist was talking about them, afraid they would get blocked for bringing toxicity to the artist's page, which I found out is something that the artist does to curate their online experience. You know, like a sensible person.
I wish I could say they were teenagers, but they were between 22 to 29 years old.
And let's not talk about the civil wars. God forbid a ship be interpreted in a way that the others dislike, or explored in darker and more controversial themes!
I just can't wrap my head around the behaviour of getting into fights with strangers on twitter dot com or anywhere on the World Wide Web because someone out there said something stupid about a thing I like. Why do some people get so aggressively defensive rather than just blocking and moving on? Maybe throwing in a "spoken like a true tasteless bitch" if feeling particularly vexed?
I'll never say shippers are useless fans like some say, but they can be some of the most consistent shit-stirrers in fandoms. My biggest struggle with them is that the crazy shippers aren't vile in the same way that some fans can be when a black woman is cast for the role of a character that isn't black, for example. They are vile in the way that they will send death threats to the directors, the animators, and the actors if their ship isn't made canon by the end of the story.
At their best, shippers can be some of the most engaged and passionate fans anyone could have the pleasure to find in their fandom. But at their worst... man...
--
I'll eat my hat if like 90% of people reading here don't ship a bunch of ships.
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twinkodium · 4 months
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lola lola lola !!! 😚
i hope your last week of work went well & that you’ve had a good break so far <3 i finally had time to go back and read the lola newspaper (i’ve missed out on over two weeks 😵 but i’m pretty much fully caught up now!) and i have some thoughts:
(some of them are just other random thoughts i have, not to do with your posts these last weeks heh!)
1. you wrote you like scandinavian crime stories? :o do you have any examples? i have a story about sweden’s biggest crime writer but i won’t tell it if you haven’t read anything by her bcs it would be boring 🤪
2. reading through your blog as i’m trying to finish my christmas osc fic was both good and bad because you ofc have so many good cute reblogs and gifs of him that make me think of him and get all mushy and in the right mood to write 🥰 but it’s also hard because you have a lot of lando content recently, and he’s the one i’m trying to escape because he’s continued to hold my brain captive these last few weeks…..
3. speaking of lando… i see you too have been in a bit of a lando mood recently? 🤭 very interesting how your blog has become like 90% lando, i do not complain 🥰 and i totally get where you’re coming from 🥰 tbh very easy to blame oscar for disappearing from the face of the earth (i think i’ve seen like one pic of him? one sighting a fan took??….), and lando for those god damn streams 🤤🤤
dropping these off as they’re on the topic of lando and i just haven’t been able to get these screenshots out of my brain so now you need to suffer too:
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(the nose scrunch… bestie…. him and oscar and their god damn noses 🥺🥺 not fair)
4. okay this doesn’t actually have anything to do with your reblogs but i remembered it after seeing some of them: after the last like big handball match i was at, i was waiting at the entrance for some person, and guess who stood just a few meters away… the cute liam lookalike….. and like as soon as i saw him, i looked away because i couldn’t be caught staring at him when he was so close (like, staring at him when he’s playing is another thing, but like this?? 😳). then i ended up talking to someone else as i waited, and i felt someone looking at me… so i turned my head and the liam lookalike was looking at me??? and i looked away and acted like it was no big deal, he probs was just looking around the room randomly. but tell me why i caught him staring at me SEVERAL MORE TIMES ???? i shit you not ??????? i tried so so hard to act like everything was fine but i giggle even thinking about it now SJSGSSJSH
5. speaking of liam….. guess who still hasn’t watched his vlogs?? 🫠 i just can’t allow myself to watch any videos or do anything distracting before im done with my christmas oscar fic 😶 (she says, as she’s reading through the lola newspaper instead of writing) but i saw your reblogs of pics from his vlogs and i just can’t hold back from watching them 😭
6. omg you never watched gilmore girls??? idk why this is so shocking to me but like. i thought everyone had to :0 i watched it for the first time last year tho but i’m on my 4th rewatch…. now im curious about what other big shows you didnt watch? i remember us talking about gossip girl (right? i didn’t just make that up, did i?) but i cant remember why?… honestly i shouldn’t say anything because i hate tv-shows but i thought everyone had seen gilmore girls 🥺
i had more things to say but i really really need to get writing now so i’ll be back some other time! have a great day (night) love!! 🫶
JACKIEE, it’s been a long time that you’ve come into my inbox, welcome back 🥺
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WELL, last day and week was chaotic af, my boss woke up from hibernation and wanted everything done before the break… 🙄OH MY GOD, two weeks worth of Lola newspaper? Holy shit, must have been over 200 posts 😂
Scadinavian crime stories are the best honestly!! OH, my absolute favourite write is actually Danish, Jussi Adler Olsen. Still have a few books to read from him, but his Q-department series is TOP NOTCH. Pretty disturbing and very horrifying topics but well written all of them. Tell me her name and we’ll see if I’ve read anything from her yet 😉😉
OHHH hello Christmas Os fanfic??? Okay, do not look at my blog till you’re done, because I have lined up a few more Lando reblogs in my queue 😏 honestly, we’re in the same boat… my god😭 he’s so incredibly hot lately and those streams short-circuited my brain 😵
Fuck... I blame Oscar for being in hibernation cuz Lando took over my mind and thoughts 😭 pls what I should I reblog, when our guy doesn’t post shit…? 😩 I’d even go that far to let you have Osc and I’m going for Lando, so we still have to hang out and be menaces in the Mclaren garage 😏
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(WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY???? 😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵 WHO THE FUCK AM I???)
Literally one pic of him by a fan, but now he was attending a sponsor event, so pics and videos of him appeared 🥰 and the interview with Laura, the secret santa video 😩 THE NOSE SCRUNCH PLS SO CUTE 🥺🥺🥺 and the second one, he looks properly shy 🥺🥺 I LOVE that vein bulging on the middle of his forehead when he laughs so hard 😩😩 I MIGHT BE DOWN BAD 🤯Guess who wrote a smut with him based on his unhinged stream??? not this girl… surely not… 😩
OH MY GOD!!!! I was meant to ask about him a while ago, but guess my goldfish memory made me forget about it... 😒 damn he was eyeing you up GIRLIEEE.. More than once??? HELLO?? Make your move!!! I want this to unfold even more, I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!! 😉Imagine locking eyes with him for so long, you can’t look away 😩😩 So romantic 🥰
HOW DARE YOU NEGLECTING HIM LIKE THAT?? too much Lando and Oscar in your mind? Are you afraid he’s going to take over your thoughts huh? 😉 Awwww, did you watch them?? I didn’t see the newest one, it was posted when I was pretty busy worrying about my dog, but might have time to watch it now on low volume 😉
Everyone is shaming me not watching the Gilmore girls… Pls, it was so hyped up, I always hold off watching the movies, series that are popular at times and come back later when adoration dies down. But never really get around to do it. Obviously saw a bits and pieces but never really had the urge to watch it from start to end. I started watching Gossip Girl like 3 times probably, but never finished any watch through 😂😂 It was actually the first series I’ve watched with original dub and English subtitles. Pretty little liars, started it with my sister, but I got bored after like one season or something 😂 I think she finished it without me 😂Dunno what else… gimme a list of famous TV-show and I’ll let you know if I’ve watched them or not 🙈
So another long ask coming up from you in the upcoming days?? 👀👀
Wishing you a wonderful day and week ahead hun 🥰
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n0phis · 1 year
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alright boys. big post incoming.
DISCLAIMER: it is 3am upon writing this all down and i am also not a writer
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i’m gonna start with the more lore-based stuff and add the little physical details as they come! so let’s fuckin explain this, shall we
in the world of this design/my personal hc techno isn’t so much the blood god as he is his champion and/or successor of some sort! partially through birth but in a fated sort of way, where he was just inevitably going to achieve the things required of the champion within his lifetime and thus was blessed from a relatively young age without need for some monumental trial. the blood god’s mantle was granted– the cape he wears– and is of a beast that was essentially the manifested will of the blood god. now i do want to say that i’m unsure whether a lot of techno’s physical features also came from the blessing or if he was born with them; i’m leaning towards born with them to an extent, and imagine him as a similar/same species to that of schlatt and tubbo in my hc! nondescript, varying ungulate features with techno only being half blooded (and lacking the strange sclera & tusks initially, as those do fit with the blessing).
before i get into what the mantle does i’ll talk about the beast itself, because i absolutely fucking love it it’s my squinkly little mythic pig
tales of the boar describe it as a hulking, monstrous creature that could dwarf any hoglin and was covered head to toe in blood-red, serrated quills; suffice to say the mantle itself implies it was more likely to have simply been a mutated hoglin, a rare subspecies, or some sort of thick-furred, primal ancestor. the bushy mane of the mantle is very rough and sharp, but fades into a much softer coat further down the cloak– though it does have hints of red here and there, so perhaps not everything was an exaggeration.
the most pressing question is whether the entire thing is just folklore– if the mantle came from a real beast that existed at all or if it was just such a common tale told by the worshippers of the blood god that he himself heard and manifested the trophy into existence. 
there really is no way to tell, unless you ask a certain old bird.
true or not, the boar’s story is that of an honourable plague. an animal that destroyed everything in its path and always, without fail, won. no matter how many of the world’s finest warriors sought it out, the beast never fell– never came close to falling. it lived a long and prosperous life, ruining others’, and the blood it spilt is said to have given the crimson forests their colour. it died old and happy as its tusks bore through and into its own skull, the crown on the mantle is representative of that– with the added flair of an article of holy clothing, that is. a crown of emerging tusks, not a trophy because of symbolism of some hero overcoming an impossible foe, but of a beast who lived life to the fullest. the unkillable imbuing its own virtue upon the wearer.
the mantle doesnt give so much as it exacerbates, though, granted only to those who, by their own merit, would inevitably live a life like the boar’s.
essentially while the blood god’s blessing doesn’t best the passage of time, it’ still kickass. and techno wasn’t given his chad nature by some god, he was just recognized for it.
the blessing– again, at a young age– also gave him his very striking eyes and tusks! the eyes are inspired by those of a bearded vulture, where their actual function is flushing blood into the sclera to intimidate other animals (which is just so incredibly perfect). it technically isn’t permanent, but is attached to such a minute increase in heartrate that unless he is incredibly bored his sclera is nearly always red. it’s a good way to tell if he’s sleeping, at least? that is if you can’t pick it up from the closed eyes, blanket, and snoring. 
the tusks came in gradually as he aged, and on the topic of physical features his hair is dyed!
the voices (chat) were passed to him along with the mantle, which essentially functions as a selkie style half-pelt that fuses to him, grants him strength and heightened susceptibility to the aforementioned Chat (tm). he’s not a monster by any means when ‘fused’, but behaves slightly more like a big silly dog. or wolf, i guess, given the times he tends to use it. it’s actually the form he’s most comfortable in given how much more durable he is (hence boar guy in his reading glasses chilling up there) but over time without breaks from it the voices grate at him more and more. he kinda took a break from using it after doomsday.
he’s about 6’3 as a humanoid, but closer to 7’ fused with the mantle! it fuses from his chin, down his spine & shoulders to the tail, and finally down his legs.
his forearms, stomach (& most of his back) and neck are almost entirely unchanged minus the scale and build being a little altered! the cape/fabric part actually entirely disappears, and while the action of donning it is a very physical ‘putting it on’, taking it off is more of a mental thing— which poses a challenge when the voices have cause to be particularly loud and he just wants out but can’t focus.
the last few things i’ll touch on is the reception in canon to this, and the effects of the attempted execution.
so nobody but phil and maybe the rest of sbi truly know much about this, it’s actually generally assumed around the server that it’s just whatever strange sort of creature that techno is. 
the stories– and the blood god himself– exist primarily in the nether, and techno rarely ever met with people without the mantle fully equipped and fused. it certainly contributed to his reputation, to the point of others being baffled upon seeing his ‘human form’ after assuming for so long that a bipedal, prickly hoglin was just this freakazoid’s default. he didn’t mind; the less vulnerable the better. and it allowed him to wreak havoc a hell of a lot easier, with a hell of a lot fewer voices telling him to tone it down as opposed to his beta male humanoid form. if the butcher army had known to make him take it off, things could have turned out quite differently. but they didn’t, so they can suck it.
lastly, slightly anticlimactically, and a wee bit differently to the art (which, again, was just the rough design after having these ideas marinating in my brain sauces for 7 months with no outlet), the effects of the totem! there arent veins running down him or the mantle’s face as cool as that would be, because, y’know, practicality, but all of his tusks (since he was fused at the time of near-death) have cracks in them that have been mended with gold! he also has a striking, golden lock of hair directly around the impact site on both forms, and fancy gold irises that compliment his freaky deaky sclera wonderfully.
and there’s my techno shit! i’m probably forgetting a lot, or i just havent thought about it yet and will come up with my answer to any questions immediately upon being asked and no sooner but YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! if u read this far ily parasocially
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rossellini-tyrell · 6 months
Text
Nothing's Gonna Change My World
Ch. 8 - i sat on a rug (biding my time, drinking her wine)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Word Count: ~7500 Pairing: Pavitr x F!Reader
Warnings:
THIS IS SMUT. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE SMUT, OR NOT BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS, DO NOT TOUCH THAT KEEP READING LINK. Under 18? Please click out of this post! All characters here are in their early-mid 20s. things that happen: reader receives oral and it's cash money. Pav aesops a lot about healthy experiences. Gwen gets a little (or a lot OOC). also found on AO3 and Wattpad.
"I swear, I could have put the damn ring on Miles's finger myself after that!" gushes Gwen from her spot on your couch. She's tipsy, you're each on either your second or third hard seltzer, and your living room is starting to wobble and melt before your very eyes. "I would wholly support that," you agree. Gwen giggles in that overly familiar way, the one that tells you she's cooking up something wicked in that brain of hers. She leans in closer, slings an arm around your shoulder and peers at you through conspiratorially-squinted eyes. "So, (You), how's Pav?" she asks, a lilt in her voice that tells you there's definitely an ulterior motive to this seemingly innocent question. "Oh, he's great!" you reply, ducking out of wherever this is going. "He just raised another round of funding, so he's going to be able to expand his company more!" "That's great, but that doesn't answer my question," she says. "How. Is. Pav?" she enunciates. Her top two teeth peek out, pressing into her lower lip. You start to sweat, remembering the topic of conversation you'd been on. Gwen had given you the New York Times review of all the wild shit her and Miles had gotten up to since you last talked to her. You'd immediately learned that drunk Gwen has zero concept of propriety. "He is...the best, honestly," you deflect, but voice still deeply earnest. "I mean, can I ask for more than a handsome man with great hair who takes care of me when I'm sick, he even cleaned me up and—" "zzzzz, BORING!" Gwen shouts. She gives you a good-natured but maybe a tad too aggressive shove on the shoulder. "Skip to the good part, I want details!" "Gwen, I don't know if I should be—" you try to dissuade her. "Back when he was with Gayatri, we got trashed and she told me he was eating good, is that still true?" she whisper-growls with a saucy wink, in no way trying to lower the volume of her voice.
"Gwen!" you chide. Blood rushes piping hot to your face, heart absolutely banging off the walls of your chest. Gwen cackles maniacally and nearly spills her drink on your nice sofa. "Christ on a crutch, (You), your fucking face right now is precious! It's just a lil' girl talk, nothing here leaves this room, you get me?" she rambles. "Well, I mean, I wouldn't even know what to say about...about—" you stammer. "Oh come on! It's not like you're some kind of virgin or somethi—wait, holy shit, are you a virgin?" Gwen's eyes widen. You think she looks like a fish staring like that. "Oh my god, you're a virgin! That's so sweet!" she cooes at you. She reaches to pinch one of your cheeks. "No! No no no no, it's not like that! I'm not a virgin, definitely not, we just haven't—" you race to clarify, hands waving in front of your face. "Well what's the holdup, then? Are you guys trying to up the sexual tension? Are you saving yourselves for some special occasion or..." Gwen wonders aloud, before tapping her fingers together while her face morphs into a faux-dismayed expression. "You're not scared to be with him, are you?" "No way!" your rejection of the idea is immediate, emphatic. Gwen doesn't seem to have heard that, however, with the way she keeps on prattling.
"Like, I totally get it, he's Spider-Man, he's loaded, he's got some experience, he's really fucking attractive, that's intimidating and all for, like ninety-nine percent of everybody, but I promise he really wants to be with you too, you don't have to just fantasize when you—" "Gwennnnn, for Christ's sake, I do not fantasize about my boyfriend and—" you interrupt that very, very salacious thought. "What?! Why on Earth would you not? Who are you fantasizing to?? Is it Tom Holland??" Gwen questions in rapid-fire, face clearly scandalized. "What the fuck, Gwen. No," you deny. "I'm not fantasizing about any of these people, I'm not fantasizing, period." Gwen seems awfully confused by that statement. "But, how else is a girl supposed to get off by herself? I don't get it." You shrug your shoulders. "I don't know, I must be broken or something. I've never had an orgasm," you deadpan. "You what??" Gwen sits up ramrod straight, flabbergasted. "What?" a shocked third voice sounds outside the apartment. Followed immediately by a blur of red and blue at the window near your fire escape, and then a heavy crash. You and Gwen share an alarmed look for a moment. You can almost see the steam coming out of Gwen's ears, she marches over to the window, pulls it open, and with a terrifying force, yanks the eavesdropper into the apartment by the hair. "Ow, ow, shit!" the voice yelps. It's very familiar, you realize. Because it's your boyfriend. "Pavitr Prabhakar, you have five seconds to explain to me why in the fuck you were spying on our private conversation—" Gwen starts reading him the riot act. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to..." Pavitr's groveling, apologies awkwardly spilling from his lips like a leaky P-trap. You don't stick around to hear them. You about-face and beeline to your room to curl up and die of mortification, only briefly stopping to consider that you just watched your seemingly-normal human friend drag a superhero into the apartment by the hair, like she might bring in a small bag of groceries. How much did he hear? Would he think worse of you? Did he hear Gwen talking about his— Nope, we're not doing this today.
You belly-flop onto the bed. Your pillow makes a great set of earmuffs, and doubles nicely as a dark cave to stick your head into while you hear Gwen and Pavitr arguing (more accurately, Gwen winning the argument in a one-sided fashion while your boyfriend tries and fails to form a coherent sentence) in the kitchen. Your head is spinning, dust kicking up from discussions put to the side for far too long that is now filling your lungs. You're not sure why you and him haven't talked about this, whether it was fear, nerves—
Was he scared of you?
You're not sure how long you're hiding there for, but there's one, two, three soft knocks, the squeal of your door-hinge, then, a dip in your mattress. You know it's Pavitr right away when you feel the soothing stroke of a hand on your upper arm.
"Can I hide under there too?" he softly asks.
The idea of your big, strong, superhero boyfriend being scared of Gwen Stacy makes you giggle (although it's not hard to be scare of Gwen Stacy, if you're honest with yourself). You lift the pillow up and make some room on the bed, he lays down on his side to face you, suit and all, save for his mask.
"I'm sorry if I said anything that was—" you begin.
"I'm sorry I was listening to your—" he talks across you.
You both pause. Pavitr sighs heavily and rubs his sore scalp.
"I deserved that," he admits.
"I'm not so sure you did. The direction that conversation was going was..." you trail off, you gesture vaguely in front of you, trying to communicate something to the effect of "cringe".
"You aren't broken," he says suddenly, determined.
You snap your head up to meet his eyes. They're serious and shine with resolve.
"I'm...I don't get it," you say.
"You're not broken for never having an orgasm. And I'm not convinced you can't," he explains.
You chew on the thought for a bit.
"I mean...I've tried on my own, until I just gave up. That sounds like a 'me' problem," you mumble.
"Look, I know you might not believe me, and I know you might not even be interested but..." Pavitr hesitates, runs his hand through his thick, black hair. "I'll give you one. Or as many as you want, I don't know. And I don't want you to worry about doing anything for me, or for anything to hurt, I just want...fuck, (You), my heart broke when I heard that," he admits. His mouth is wilted into a pained frown.
Your face droops, you hate the idea of sweet, sensitive Pavitr being sad on your account.
"Pav, I don't want to get your hopes up though, I feel bad already that with all of the—the bullshit in our lives I haven't taken the time to think about your own needs and—"
"No. You're the one who had three boyfriends that couldn't be assed with your needs, and were put in a situation where your choice was taken away from you, even though it didn't get anywhere," he cuts you off immediately with an open hand below your collarbone. "The only 'need' I have is the need to show you it can be so, so good when you're with someone who loves you. But only on your terms, only ever when you feel the time is right."
You feel the urge to turn away, but you can't resist Pavitr's puppy-dog eyes, the kind he gets when he sees a stray animal that he wants to adopt on the spot.
"You seem very invested in this," you tell him, like it's a strange idea. Should it be?
"I just wanna make my girl feel good" he cooes. He pulls your face against the hollow of his throat. "Hobie told you once that you could ask for whatever you damn-well wanted, and I wouldn't say no. He's not wrong, you know."
"So you are an eavesdropper!" you accuse him.
"Okay, the Amazing Spider-Man has a minor personality flaw, sue me," he snarks, but is sure to drop a kiss in your hair after the words leave his lips. "My point stands, though. If there's anything you ever wanted to try, I'd love to do it for you. That includes giving you your first orgasm. And your second, your third, your forty-eighth—"
"Forty-eight?" you gasp.
"That's really not that many!" he protests, which earns him a well-deserved flick to the forehead from you. "But, in any case, it's up to you. Like I told you when we first got together, all at your pace, sweet girl. If the thought strikes your fancy, just say the word."
"I'll think about it," you agree.
"That's all I can ask of you," he says, and brings your hand to his lips to kiss your palm.
---- The heat in Pavitr's room is stifling. The air conditioner isn't cutting it, you're in a tee and sleep shorts while he's shirtless in jeans, you only have the energy to watch an old sitcom on the bedroom TV while Pavitr works out the fatigue from your sore feet. You lay with your legs across his lap, hissing when the pad of his thumb digs in to your arch. "Darling, you have to start wearing actual shoes when doing big chores," he gently chastises you. "A slipper is a shoe," you argue back. Pavitr's thumb arcs up towards of the ball of your foot and you wince when he lands on a tender spot. "Your poor, abused feet don't seem to think so," he retorts. "Well, then you can make it better later with those magic hands of yours, mister 'I'm so good at everything'", you declare. Pavitr snickers, his thumbs find their way to the lower end of your calf, just above your ankle. "I'm good at a lot of things, dove, but not everything," he says in dulcet tones, one corner of his mouth quirked up just so. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's the perfect amount of pressure his hands are putting on your leg. Maybe it's the silky feel of his voice when it resonates in your ears. But today, you start to notice a difference. You feel...aware, like a deep itch, well below the layers of skin, muscle, fat. A thirst, yet, your mouth feels full and cottony from the humid air of the room. "You're very good with your hands," you praise. The knot in your leg dissipates, and he moves on, this time pressing at the outer side, halfway up near the heart of the muscle. You exhale as he draws slow, deep circles into the tension there, it's achy, but it's pleasant, too. Pleasant in a way that makes your legs twitch, something that Pavitr doesn't miss under his thumb. "So I've been told. Among some other things," he purrs. This tone has always brought you to your knees when he used it, and he knows it. Today, however, the shiver you feel isn't the same as the others, instead of a nervous, delighted tickle, it curves lower, warmer, lingers a bit beneath your ribcage in a thick haze.
Pavitr lifts your leg by the calf, places an open-mouthed kiss over the imprint his thumb left there. Then, a second one next to it, intentional, calculated. The stuffiness of the room is so much you think you could scoop it into a glass and drink. "Pav..." you murmur. It's a little bit questioning, a little bit commanding, a little bit hesitant. The show's laugh track rings obnoxious in the background. "Sonu...you should take me up on that offer," he suggests. Or is it pleading? "...Right now?" you gulp. You can feel your pulse in your voicebox. "If you wanna," he affirms. "You don't need to do anything, just relax and...enjoy." The juncture of your thighs starts to feel uncomfortably sticky against the fabric of your shorts, you fight the urge to press them together. "What did you have in mind?" you inquire. Pavitr rolls over to kiss at your shin, then the inside of your knee before crawling up your body to level with your ear, you can feel his breath tickling the shell. "I think Gwen mentioned to you that I'm happiest when I'm eating well," he husks directly into it, and then traces the inner rim of it with the very point of his tongue. You shiver from the contact, from his words, the way they felt so close to your skin, or the teasing of his tongue, you're not sure which. You're definitely pressing your thighs together now. "Good luck with that. It's been tried, and hasn't worked," you warn him. You hate the idea of him doing all that hard work for no reward. Pavitr is nonplussed, he takes your face in hand to kiss you slow, beginning the dance you know well by now. "Did whoever was trying give you head for its own sake? Or were they trying to butter you up with oral so they could say they did before doing what they wanted?" he asks pointedly, one eyebrow quirked. You don't have to think about it for very long, you've never been given this on its own. Only before sex, and it'd be difficult to argue they were into it, or trying particularly hard to please you. "You're probably right. I don't think they were trying too hard at all. But I should have felt...something, right?" you wonder. Pavitr sighs and sadly shakes his head. "There's a world of difference if someone really wants take their time and make you feel good, instead of just half-assing it so you'll give in. It also helps to have...skill, which I can promise you, I have plenty of," he slips you a wink and licks his lips, and the subsequent jolt of thrill makes your core twitch. "All you need to know is that this is for you. I wanna give you oral because I love you, dammit. No strings, no bullshit, just very, very good head. I'll give you the best orgasm of your life, and it's going to be amazing. Sound good?" You worry your lip with your canine, thighs squeezing together at the image he's planted in your head. Pavitr waits for your reply patiently, he's not leering, his expression is fond, gentle. He's never led you astray before, so he wouldn't now, right? Right? "But...if I can't?" you trail off, leaving Pavitr to fill in the blank. He does, with ease, one hand takes yours and gives it a soft squeeze. "If something's not working for you, we can change it. If it doesn't happen today, then no hard feelings, we'll go back to what we were doing. Even if you don't orgasm, sex can still feel really good in and of itself," two of his long, elegant fingers walk along your arm while he talks, voice even and mellow. "And when you feel done, we'll be done. It's like a conversation, we go down a line, and change the topic when it feels right to," he explains, kisses your knuckles on the back of your hand. "I think I can get you there, I think you just weren't given a fair shake and need someone to actually try. But if it doesn't happen, we can try again another time. Or never, you're wonderful all the same." You exhale through pursed lips. "Okay, I'd like to try at least," you acquiesce. Pavitr nudges your chin with his hand. "Do you want to try? Or do you just feel like you should because I asked?"
You understand immediately what he's asking. His eyes are soft, but stern, he scans your face for any sign you are simply appeasing him, rather than agreeing of your own enthusiasm. He's searching for fear and apprehension where there should be desire, curiosity. You don't think you've ever been asked this, and while you can't say your past experiences were ever coerced, save for the circumstances under which you and Pavitr met, you're grateful that he's thinking of this.
"I do want to," you confirm. "I'm...nervous that I'll be disappointed again, but what you're offering feels different from what it's been like...before. You've never given me any reason not to trust you, and I'm ready to try if it's with you."
You smile up at your boyfriend, and Pavitr seems satisfied with this answer. His eyes darken further than the rich cocoa they already are, and he leans in to kiss your mouth deeply, explores every ridge, every surface of it with his tongue, a little preview of his repertoire.
"I am going to eat you up so well, for hours," he rasps directly into your ear, leaving you shuddering, getting even wetter at the seam of your shorts. "On my bed, on the kitchen counter, in my car, on my desk at work after everyone's gone home, every damn day if I have to until you come on my tongue. You deserve that much, dove." His lips ghost on the shell, then along the hollow of your throat, where he leaves gentle, slow little nips and sucks while he crawls back down your body.
You have enough sense to turn off the television before he's back over your legs, kisses and suckles getting closer and closer to the hem of your sleep shorts. Your breaths catch and stutter, each little contact a sweet torture that leaves you jumping under his mouth, your center grows slicker and you'd think he could smell you from here.
And then, to your surprise, he stops. He reaches behind you for one of the pillows.
"Lift your hips a bit for me, darling," he instructs, the tone of his voice honey-sweet.
You comply, confused, and he slides the pillow beneath them.
"What's this for?" you ask.
Pavitr grins brightly and plops a smooch on one kneecap.
"So my girlfriend is comfy, of course!" he says in a voice almost inappropriately upbeat for the situation.
Your heart melts at this thoughtfulness, never has anyone you know associated the word "comfy" with sex, but with someone as attentive as Pavitr, you're learning things can be different. Maybe those words should go together, you think.
Pavitr's nails catch on the waistband of your sleep shorts, they pause there.
"Yes?" he asks, looks to you for your assent through the dark curtain of his fringe.
You're frozen in time when you meet his eyes. It's not a particularly hard choice. It's easy enough to say no, sorry you're not ready for that. Or even ask if you can reschedule to next Wednesday, maybe work it in between the gym and your dentist appointment. He'd be happy to drop it and continue doing what you were doing, wait a hundred years if he had to. What sways you is when you meet his rich, coffee-colored eyes and there's no
want I want gimme give it lemme grab tug squeeze grab take have
You're so used to that by now. No, these eyes are soft, round, curious, even. Curious to know this part of you, to share this with you, a whispered secret on the breath of butterfly wings. To give you something that was always denied, see the way your face would light up when you got there. By the look on his face, you knew Pavitr wasn't lusting after you and what was under the shorts, no, he wanted to try, and you knew that he'd only ever try if it was for you.
"Yes," you affirm. There's no warble in the note of your voice.
Pavitr grins, lazily and closed-mouthed, hooks his fingers around the elastic and starts working the whole thing down in one shot, shorts and underwear all. Warm lips press to the bony cradle just above your mound, your hips twitch under their smack.
"Thank you for trusting me with your body, sweet girl," he says. "I promise you, you will not regret this."
The shorts are worked over your knees, your ankles, and then they're off. Your knees drop off to the sides, you ponder closing them for a moment, covering yourself up like the shy virgin you once were all that time ago. That thought doesn't get a chance to linger, as sloppy, sucking kisses are quickly alternating up your inner thighs, firm enough not to tickle, but enough for the muscle to tense beneath Pavitr's mouth with a yelp, the sensitive spot a direct line to your exposed core.
"Aanhh—" you whine as Pavitr gets closer and closer to where you'd really like him to be. He does get awfully close, the rounded point of his nose bumping against the juncture of your hip and thigh, the corner of his mouth brushing the curve of your vulva as he inhales, smiles. Suddenly, the really nice pressure is sadly gone, Pavitr's propped up on his elbows and gazing down between your legs, while you're slack-jawed huffing and puffing from arousal.
"You're really pretty here," he husks. He mouths at the soft swell just below your navel with deep mauve-colored lips, lets warmth curl up there.
"Why are you staring?" you whinge, averting your eyes.
"Why not? This part of you is divine," Pavitr waxes poetic. "And you deserve to be told as much, because it doesn't sound like you've been hearing it."
"Umm...thanks? I guess?" you sputter, incredulously. You want to shrink away from the compliment, but your boyfriend (your insufferable sap of a boyfriend) isn't having it.
"Shush, you," he jokingly chides, his breath hot against your delicate flesh. "Go away. Let me explain to my girlfriend that her pussy is perfect in peace."
"Pavitr, you're obnoxio—oh FUCK!" your words are cut off with a cry as your entire cunt is swallowed up in a sucking kiss, like the ones Pavitr had dotted along your thighs. There's nothing lazy or perfunctory about this, the suction is just right and there's nothing like the way his soft lips feel sliding against your intimate skin. He pops off with a wet, lewd smack that rebounds around the bedroom.
Pavitr snickers lowly at your reaction, and turns his head to take each of your lower lips between his, run his tongue along and beside the soft, fatty parts before delicately suckling the inner lips betwixt them. His next kiss finishes with a deep lick, one that parts your lower lips at the seam and makes you jump when a wet tongue brushes past your clit.
"Good?" he asks, an inquisitive arch on his brow as he attempts to get a glimpse of your face. His mouth doesn't leave your pussy, simply ghosts against it when he speaks. It's a hint of a touch that makes you prickle, teeny frissons along your spine from your core that sprout behind your ears.
"Very," you tell him, nodding furiously, hoping that will spur him to get on with it.
Pavitr smears a messy, affectionate kiss to the inside of your left thigh before securing his hands on the crests of your hips.
"Love you," he purrs. He nuzzles against the inner thigh with his cheek before returning to his work.
Pavitr treats you to a make-out session with your lower lips, his tongue and lips exploring every dip and curve he can find. Every flick, kiss, suck, even gentle tugs between his teeth carries intention, you can feel the weight of it in each stroke. This is not the same halfhearted attempts at the pretense of 'doing his part' you're used to, he's losing himself to the task, eyes fluttered shut behind the ebony drape of his hair as he drinks you down. It's the same way he moves his mouth when he takes a bite out of a ripe mango, your wetness dripping down his chin when he slurps on your sex. "Pavi....Pav...hah..." you wheeze. Your chest heaves in harsh breaths as a delicious, gentle heat stretches out low in your belly and finds a home there. Your boyfriend steadily continues to make love to you with his mouth, you can't resist locking your ankles together atop his upper back, he responds in turn by scooching your hips just that little bit closer, wanting as close to zero space between his tongue and your intimate flesh as possible. "Your taste, it's sofuckengood, fuck," Pavitr slurs into your cunt. You notice him shifting around just out of your field of vision. Is he...rutting his hips into the bed? Pavitr licks straight up your seam on the flat of his tongue, ends with a suck on your clit that's enough to pull it out of its hood. A sharp bolt of pleasure triggers your cunt to clench around nothing. "Holyshitholyshitdontstop" you babble to the room. Your feet kick out behind him, your hand that was bunching up the flat sheet flies to his shade-colored waves, tangles in the dense mop of hair to hold his face against your pussy. "That's the plan, dove," Pavitr rasps. He gets right back to it, delivering the same treatment to every part of your pussy. The two-o'-clock sunlight streams in rich sheafs through the window, it leaves amber dapples on his back that bend and stretch with every flex of his well-developed back muscles, they collect in the valley of his spine, the two little dimples that sit above his waistband.
This? This is nice. It's nice like this, the both of you laying here, embraced by the mid-day sun. Pleasure laps at you like waves at low tide, it's warm, warm like the sand between your toes. Your boyfriend is taking your pussy apart with his mouth, the touch of his tongue isn't teasing, neither harsh, nor lazy. It's earnest, steady, and oh is it affectionate, too. He's not here to pay some sort of toll or fee to access your body, he's basking in how wet you're getting for him, the plush of your skin against his lips, your heady scent, the sharpness of your flavor on his tongue. Pavitr's mouth cherishes this entire part of you the same way he does to the rest of you with his words. He's in no hurry, but he has no intention of making you beg or plead for your first release, he simply wishes to take you by the hand and lead you there, walk you to the door and kiss you goodnight at the threshold of a place you didn't believe existed. He knows the way, has learned the road well, and guides you there with no fuss. Yes, you think, this is nice. It starts out as a fullness, a pressure on the inside that makes you want to tighten up, squeeze around it and keep it from getting out. The pleasure sitting heavy in your belly becomes urgent, it sinks low, low, lower. The sensation is strangely familiar to you, but it's off. You feel like you're about to burst, about to— "Pavitr, stop, I'm gonna—I have to—" you reach with your free hand to stop him. Pavitr finds your hand with one of his, takes it and laces your fingers together.
"Hey. No, sweet girl, this is good. You're supposed to feel that. It means you're here," he explains, gives his head a shake so you can meet his eyes without his hair in the way. A thumb strums back and forth along the dorsum of your hand. "All you have to do is let it ride. I'll catch you, I always have," he reassures. Your head feels like it's full of bees, it feels like there's a water balloon sitting low in the cradle of your pelvis, it's scary, it's intimate, but you want more. "You promise?" you ask timidly. It seems silly to ask this of him, but you do anyway. Pavitr responds with a kiss, the softest one yet, to your lower lips. "Baby girl, I'd promise you everything," he almost growls into your pussy.
Pavitr renews his focus onto your clit, taking it between his lips and tracing upon it the outlines of flower petals with his tongue. He sups on you, over and over again, batters your pearl about with the point of his tongue, coaxing it out from its protective cloak with a please please oh please pretty please. He does not demand, he waits, arms outstretched. The fullness and urgency quickly returns, you clench down, breath held instinctively. You can't hold it anymore, you yank on his hair, and he moans into your vulva when he feels the sharp twinge on his scalp. You feel like you're going to pop and his face is right there eating you and he said he'd catch you and he's holding your hand when you pav pav pav please oh please pav i have to It's warm here The molten heat nested below your navel loses its shape, pours like molasses down your legs, between your ribs, to the points of your fingers and burbles at your throat. Warm, sticky, wet, spilling out of your core in a steady trickle. Your voice catches in a sigh, the floor of your ribcage drops as the tension eases away in a steady throb, you feel it in your cunt as Pavitr keeps on drawing mindless doodles over your clit with his mouth. It's not fireworks, it's not an explosion, it's sunrise on the roof, three o' clock on the beach in July, it's hot chocolate in December, sticky sweet affection poured into you through your sex and spilling out over the edges. It's a safe place, a joyful place, bubbly, bright, and warm. A place, a home he built for you beneath your skin, in a grove you've been too wary, too exhausted to claim as your own. He presses the key into your palm, at long last, and you are all too happy to invite him inside, in that space between your ribs. Your eyes flutter shut as a gentle tongue laps slowly, soothingly at your swollen flesh, cleans up your release as you give yourself over to the ebb of the tide. Lips tenderly trail up your mound, your navel, your sternum, your nose. Hands cup your face as the lips find purchase on your forehead, your unfocused eyes open to fuzzy strokes of bronze, charcoal, ivory. "Yes, Ahava, hello. Hi," Pavitr purrs. Your eyes adjust, the blotches of color wend into a familiar form, and there he is. He's positively glowing, both with a fondness and pride, not of himself, but for you, like he's swallowed down the sun itself. His chin and mouth bear a fine gloss from your wetness. "Whazzat? Pav?" you burble, your tongue fumbling with the words. You find that you've been curiously transformed into a pile of mush, your corporeal form broken free of its solid container.
Your boyfriend chuckles above you, and brushes a few downy hairs off your forehead where sweat holds them down.
"How's that orgasm treating you?" he smugly inquires. "...S'nice," you slur, not quite realizing how dopey your face must look. "Kinda feels like I have to pee." Pavitr covers his mouth with his hands to hide his laughter. "Alright, well, you hang tight and enjoy the afterglow, beautiful. I just need two seconds to take care of something real quick," he says. You watch as he reaches over the side of the bed and fishes around for something. "Where are you going?" you ask, a wave of sadness and worry coming over you, remembering past partners who would never stay when the act was said and done, leaving you to your feelings. "Nowhere, silly," he teases, tongue stuck out. "Just gotta make a wardrobe adjustment, then all the snuggles you can handle, I promise." You find yourself unable to reply when he works his jeans off of his hips, and the boxer-briefs with them. The tips of your ears heat up like a gas grill when you're given a generous glimpse of prominent hip bones, lithe, defined quads, and an absolutely sumptuous ass that makes your mouth water, you resist the urge to sink your teeth into it. "Hey, Pavitr, I can, 'yanno, return the favor," you offer. "Oh, that won't be necessary," he quickly replies as he skips the boxer briefs and pulls on a pair of sweats he'd left on the floor. A hint of something you can't put your finger on tinges the timbre of his voice, and that's when you notice the flush in his cheeks. Oh.
"Pav...did you...?" you hesitate to say it out loud, your brain refusing to form the words. Pavitr crawls up the bed next to you, immediately rewarding you with the tightest, most perfect snuggle he's ever given you. You're face to face, noses but a hair's breadth apart. "As a matter of fact, I did," he admits, turning his cheek into the pillow. "Knowing I was giving you this experience and seeing how much you were enjoying it, it was so damn erotic and I couldn't help but go off the edge with you. Imagine that, being the woman that made Spider-Man come in his pants by just being." "Well, I'm glad I could do that for you," you jape. Your head feels less foggy, the afterglow abating to something cozy and secure, nicely contained in Pavitr's hold. "I'm glad I could do this for you," he counters with a tap of a finger to your nose. "This was all for you, anyway, you owe me nothing. I knew you could do it, and I'm so proud of you. You just needed a patient hand. Or tongue," he winks. "You're insufferable," you groan, burying your head against his bare chest. Pavitr chortles and kisses the top of your head. "I'm talented. And I have many, many orgasms to make up for," he rebukes. His voice feels like silk, it's dripping with ego and it makes your mouth go dry. "Hopefully they're all like this one was. I keep hearing that it's supposed to be...erm...explosive, but this one was just...nice," you comment. Pavitr considers this a moment, and then you know you fucked up when you see his lips quirk into a wicked grin, a devilish gleam in his eye as one hand tightens its grip around your bare hip. "I see...say, I don't think I ever returned the favor for that upside down kiss you gave me when we met," he muses aloud. "No, I don't believe you did," you confirm, wondering where he's going with this. "Oh..." he rises to a kneel on the bed, the covers falling away to expose your calves. "Then I guess now might be a good time to do just that," he proposes.
"What do you mean by tha—ohgod!" you yip, as Pavitr uses his enhanced strength to pull you down the bed by your ankles, and then hoist your thighs all the way up to his ears, his hands settling on your hips. You're nearly suspended entirely upside-down and he's immediately ravaging your sensitive cunt with this mouth, lewd smacks rebound around the room as the blade of his tongue digs deep between your lower lips. "Jesus fuck, Pav, why are you so good at everything?" you whine, your heels thumping against his back, an expression of the pleasure rapidly coursing through your body. Pavitr doesn't reply to this, only hums an acknowledgement into your pussy. At this angle, the extra pressure from his face on your clit does a lot of work, and being manhandled by your superhero boyfriend like a ragdoll...yes please. His fingers curl into the flesh of your thighs, his lips lathe aggressively at your inner lips and clit, you can only watch as he pulls his head up just enough to tug at them with a firm suck that makes something deep in your core light up like Christmas, and then releases them with a salacious pop before going right back in to swallow, to consume, to lap you up until there's nothing left to. Pavitr's playing for keeps this time, he's not looking for a gentle release, he wants to give you the orgasm you've only heard about in stories, one that knocks you on your ass that you'll still feel the next morning. He's nothing if not a show-off, and that trait of his is on full display.
"Pavitr Prabhak—ah!" you moan, your legs flailing behind him. "You smug jackass! It's not faaaaaaair!"
Your kicking and screaming (literally) does nothing. Pavitr doesn't let up, his lips and tongue devour and his face smashes into your pussy in relentless pursuit of your climax. You squirm, but his mouth chases, and with you upside down in what you would have never expected the Spider-Man kiss to entail, you're helpless to stop it, vulnerable and ripe for the taking. But you're safe. Cared for. Loved. You can feel it in how his grip on you is gentle enough to leave no marks, the way his thumbs stroke over the skin there. The way he bends forward just enough to keep your head and shoulders on the pillow so you won't hit them on anything, or get dizzy. This scene is filthy, pornographic even with his athleticism, but as your second peak of the night comes hurtling at you, neither of you have ever felt more in love than you do right now. You have trusted him with your body in all ways like you rarely have before, and he's more than shown you he's worthy.
You come with a shout, you clench hard on empty space until you can't, it feels like a sneeze, an insane blossom of pure ecstasy from your center that blooms in a riot of red, pink, yellow, orange behind your eyelids. You feel your cunt gushing, squirting even, followed by an immense relief. Your heart pounds in your ears, your ribcage struggles to expand and contract with your breathing, it feels like you're flying, soaring in the wind. There's a fizzling, tickling feeling creeping along your arms and legs and worming its way into your brain, your pussy feels aflame, overtaxed despite the calming strokes Pavitr is now using to soak up your juices. Your abs feel sore, and you feel physically and emotionally drained, the overstimulation hits all at once, and—are you crying?
"Awww little love, it's okay. Come here, darling, I've gotcha, shhhh," Pavitr's voice breaks through the swell of emotions frothing in your chest, he sets your legs down and bundles you close beneath the blankets. "You've been through a lot of new things today, sonu. You're overwhelmed, it's completely normal and your mind just needs a minute to sort itself out," he explains, you turn your head to see all traces of mischief gone from it, only soft features remain. The flat of a hand drags up and down your spine, warm lips dot squishy kisses along your cheek and temple. "I—I thought I was broken," you blubber. "I've been trying for years." "Not broken at all, no ma'am, I even double checked," he quips with a wink. It makes you snort and you can't stop yourself from swatting his chest. "You simply hadn't been shown how sex is supposed to be: none of it works if you're not feeling safe or secure first," he says more seriously. The blunt edges of his nails slowly drag along your back, scratching carefully, it's deeply satisfying and it makes you feel calm.
"So you're saying I couldn't for so long because...I wasn't feeling safe?" you ask, past memories starting to click into place.
"Mmm, precisely so," Pavitr hums. An unhurried kiss is fluttered against your lips, the flavor a bit different than the ones before, you wonder if it's you that you're tasting. "Sex is art, dove. It doesn't just come down to technique, if your mind is worried or not feeling cared for, you're not going to be able to be vulnerable with yourself enough to feel good, or your partner, for that matter. Your partner needs to be invested in your experience, and not as a means to an end for them," he explains, his nose nuzzling yours now. "That means taking the time to make you comfortable, listening to you and instead of rushing you through, and for fuck's sake, they need to give proper aftercare, Jesus," he finishes his rant with a grumble. The protective hold around you tightens, cuing you to snuggle closer into your boyfriend.
"Aftercare...is that why I got upset when an ex went to play video games when we were done?" you ask, everything suddenly making so much more sense.
Pavitr shudders and pulls you even closer, if that were possible, you burrow into his chest. Your legs tangle together under the blanket as he kisses the space between your eyebrows.
"Oh my God, why are men like this," he mumbles under his breath. "Yes, aftercare is making sure your partner is feeling okay and safe after you're done. Sex is intense, physically and emotionally, and if they weren't making the effort to take care of you like this after, it's no wonder you didn't have any fond memories of it. I hate that those were your first experiences, but that will never happen again, I can promise you that."
"Oh...so right now, this...this is aftercare?" you ask shyly. You think it sounds silly at your big age to be asking this, but since you're both putting everything on the table, you might as well learn for the future.
Pavitr senses the discomfort and tips your chin up to meet his eyes. They're still sparkling, but carry a stern edge to them.
"Hey, there are no dumb questions with me," he firmly reassures, his eyes softening further. "Yes, this is one way aftercare can look. It can also mean things like...like rubbing their back, or watching a movie they like together. Maybe even taking a bath with them or giving them a massage, just little things to reassure them and help them come down gently from an intense moment. It's the best part, in my book," he purrs.
You're inclined to agree. You're all tuckered out, your limbs have definitely turned to jelly with no chance of reconstitution, you feel buzzy on the inside in the best way, and it's warm and toasty here under the blankets, tangled up together, his bare skin on your cheek. You're basking in each other's afterglow and he's lavishing as much affection on you as he's got to offer, there's nothing closer, nothing better than this. Well, except maybe one thing...
"Can we...can we take a bath too?" you suggest, uncertainly.
Pavitr scrunches up his round nose as his eyes wrinkle at the corners.
"You act like I'd say no to that. Of course we can, dove!" he exclaims. "You're the one who had her first two orgasms in a row, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't let you pick?" he's already hefting himself off the bed to carry you there himself.
"Together with me?" you kiss at the juncture of his shoulder and neck, all you can reach from his hold, your feet dangle limply in the bridal carry. Pavitr looks down on you with a besotted expression.
"I like the sound of that," he cooes in your ear as you cross the room. "And I wanna wash your hair with my shampoo again, I loved smelling it on you the next morning."
"But Pav, your shampoo is expensive!" you protest.
"You just had a screaming orgasm, like, ten minutes ago, let me spoil you at least a little," he counters. He nudges the door open where it's ajar with a hip check, being sure not to jostle you.
"That's already spoiling me!" you argue.
Pavitr laughs, deeply kisses your mouth like he did your center, and closes the bathroom door behind him with his heel.
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a-queer-seminarian · 5 months
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Hey Avery, I love this blog and the binary-breakers blog. They’ve both been a great help to me as I reconstruct my faith. But I’m struggling with something: my fiancé and I are scheduled to light an advent candle during the Sunday morning service at his church. Initially I was really looking forward to it, but by chance I was curious about how old Mary was when she bore Jesus, and when I looked it up I learned she could have been anywhere from 13-16. Moreover, some traditions put Joseph as being much, much older. It’s just hard not to think in a very . . . sinister direction when considering that context, especially as far as God’s role in this is concerned. What did you learn about this topic in seminary, if anything? Is there any hope that my “problematic” interpretation is unnecessary/invalid?
Hi there! I think it's lovely y'all are going to light an advent candle tomorrow, and I hope it's a meaningful experience! I also totally get your dismay about Mary's age at Jesus's birth.
To start with the facts: yes, Mary was almost certainly a teenager when betrothed to Joseph. The Bible doesn't give any confirmation of her age, but in both ancient Jewish culture and Roman culture, girls were usually married off not too many years after they started menstruating.
When it comes to Joseph's age, I do have some slightly relieving news — he's unlikely to have been the old man he's often depicted as in medieval art. (I actually had a fascinating conversation on this topic with queer Catholic art historian Amy Neville on my podcast that you can read or listen to here!) He almost certainly would have been older than Mary, but it's uncertain how much older.
In ancient Jewish culture, the "ideal" marriage was actually one between a man and a woman who were both in their teens, with an expectation that a man marry by age 20. Being able to support a wife & kids was a key indicator of manhood, so men were expected to get married as young as they could. But in practice, it was more common for men to marry in their late 20s / by age 30, which does mean that their wives would often be a good ten or fifteen years younger than they were.
The Bible doesn't tell us what age Joseph was when he and Mary were betrothed, but it's unlikely he was older than 30, just as it's unlikely she was older than 18.
So maybe that's not quite as discomfiting as the image of a much older Joseph, but by our modern standards, it's still pedophilia. So what do we make of that? And what did God think of that??
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I believe it is an act of faith to be troubled by elements of scripture that should be troubling, rather than shrugging them off as being "God's will" just because they're in the Bible. I highly recommend Rachel Held Evans' book Inspired on this topic, which has a whole chapter on grappling with difficult biblical texts (you can read a long passage from it here).
While exploring our emotions and giving them holy space, it is also important to accept that biblical cultures are two thousand or more years old — the ancient world had completely different understandings of morality from us. That doesn't mean we shrug off displays of sexism or xenophobia in scripture — bigotry is bigotry, whether an ancient iteration or what we have today — but learning about biblical cultures enriches our understanding of why certain things, like slavery or women having little say in whom they marry, are present in the Bible (and often completely taken for granted by its human authors). It can help us distinguish between what is truly God-ordained, versus what the humans writing down their experience of God presume is God-ordained.
I appreciate how womanist theologian Wil Gafney explores the complexity of appreciating the Bible as an ancient human text while looking for Divine truth "between the lines":
“There is liberation in the gospel even though it is sometimes obscured by the structures of power that benefit from holding people captive. There is also a story in and between the lines of and behind the text we hold so dear that points to a liberation that not even the authors and editors of scripture were able to see clearly or, see their way to record.
Jesus was a rabbi, he would have never wanted us to cling to the letters and syntax of these texts as though they were his very body and blood but rather, his spirit and the Spirit of God, blow through them, ruffling and disturbing them and permitting us to read new truths in and out of them and, not lose sight of the ancient stories that are also part of our shared heritage."
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When it comes to Mary's young age when betrothed to Joseph and approached by Gabriel to request her "yes" to carrying God's child, your question of God's "role" in that is a vital one to ask.
In Mary's world, a woman without a kyrios, a man to be her protector, was in a very precarious position. Mary has to be betrothed to someone in her teens. We don't know whether God "approves" of this cultural practice, but we can see how God works within this custom to ensure Mary's security throughout her life:
when Joseph plans to divorce her after she becomes pregnant with Jesus, God sends an angel to persuade him to stick by her;
when Jesus is dying on the cross, he ensures that his beloved will protect Mary after he's gone.
Throughout scripture, God largely seems to operate within a people's cultural expectations (with key exceptions, like how God insists Their people treat foreigners the same as members of the group, or when God warns against giving the people a king just because that's what all the other nations have). That's what I see here. Mary must have a husband to be secure in her culture, and I imagine God ensuring that that husband will be one who will treat her well.
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Then there's the question of God espousing Mary — of the Holy Spirit "overshadowing" her so that she conceives Jesus. What exactly is this "overshadowing" act? Why is God getting a teen girl pregnant?
Again, Rev. Wil Gafney provides words that wrestle out the good news with this complexity. When reading Luke 1, she urges us to sit with our distress at the image of a powerful "male" figure (Gabriel) approaching a teen girl to tell her what's going to happen to her body:
"Sit with me in this moment, this uncomfortable moment, before rushing to find proof of her consent, or argue that contemporary notions of consent do not apply to ancient texts, or God knew she’d say yes so it was prophetic, or contend that (human) gender does not apply to divine beings, Gabriel or God, and the Holy Spirit is feminine anyway. Hold those thoughts and just sit in the moment with this young woman."
Our distress is holy; it shows our connection to a fellow human being, our thirst for justice. Honor what you feel, don't discard your emotions, even while you join them to sociohistorical understanding.
I highly recommend you read Gafney's whole article, but here's a little more from it that balances ancient culture with modern ethics:
"Yet in a world which did not necessarily recognize her sole ownership of her body and did not understand our notions of consent and rape, this very young woman had the dignity, courage, and temerity to question a messenger of the Living God about what would happen to her body before giving her consent. That is important. That gets lost when we rush to her capitulation. Before Mary said, “yes,” she said, “wait a minute, explain this to me.” ... Did the Ever-Blessed Virgin Mary say, “me too?” Perhaps not. A close reading shows her presumably powerless in every way but sufficiently empowered to talk back to the emissary of God, determine for herself, and grant what consent she could no matter the power of the One asking. And yet in that moment after being told by someone else what would happen to her body, she became not just the Mother of God, but the holy sister to those of us who do say, “Me too.” "
Because Mary was a teen girl, an impoverished Palestinian Jew living under empire, she can extend solidarity to people across all time who experience similar oppression, whose bodily autonomy is equally precarious. Just as her son, God in human flesh, extends solidarity to all who have ever been arrested or executed under an unjust state through his crucifixion. Divine power is expressed in and through those whom the world denigrates and discards — that's why God chose Mary, and why Mary in turn chose God.
Sorry this got so long and has a lot of complex stuff to wrestle with. I honor your courage to ask the hard questions, and I hope you are able to take time throughout Advent to keep pondering! There are no easy answers, but wrestling can yield a blessing.
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theminecraftbee · 1 year
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i just realized the final god fight being the jungle fits so well with the whole fire theming actually and im very normal about this i swear (lie)
but on the topic of flames, i think you mentioned zed having a flame thrower and ive been thinking of what all flame devices everyone could have. like maybe when theyre fighting shadows and stuff, its all holy flames and giant tanked flame throwers or whatever, sure, but in reality, this is just- what kinds of novelty lighters would everyone have? some ideas inlcude:
- impulse: classic metal lighter with a dope gold i/eye design
- skizz: theres this super cool dragon head lighter/torch (you can find it under the lighters tag or specifically tagged as #lighters and posted by transparentgentlemenmarker) that i feel like he’d enjoy
- bdubs: maybe doesnt actually have a lighter. maybe just like. matches.
- tango: electric arc lighter that makes tiny lazers to burnificate things in an instant
- zed: if youve ever seen the handheld steampunk mini sonic flamethrower, its that and he made it
- pearl: i feel like she would have a shaped lighter, but im not sure what type. maybe one of the coin shaped ones
- gem: a neat little knife lighter combo
- grian: actually just a handheld blowtorch
oh these are all REALLY COOL as their respective flames. i would also like to add that zedaph starts like, his first dungeon with a lighter, but decides that is Boring, and he makes a homemade flamethrower. he can still summon his persona and he has not yet died so everyone is going with it.
and like. YEAH these all like, fit their personalities and roles really well! and i think like. yeah whenever a new party member joins impulse tries to give them a normal lighter but NO they want to light things on fire with a PERSONALITY. by the time grian joins and is like "can i use this handheld blowtorch" impulse throws up his hands and is like "if you want to blowtorch your hands every few minutes when we fight shadows so you can summon your persona then BE MY GUEST it's stupid magic anyway" and grian is like. thank you. i do in fact want to do that. and impulse is like. sigh. yeah sure okay.
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drylan · 2 years
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Dylan and Ryan run into their exes
He and Ryan are staring down the wall of Funko Pops at Hot Topic when Dylan spots him. Zach, his ex he dated sophomore year of high school. Holy shit, holy shit! He hadn't seen that dude in ages...
"Don't look now but my ex is walking in, oh my god." Dylan mutters to Ryan quickly, who proceeds in all his awkward fucking glory, to look right in the direction of Zach, who is now also in front of the wall of Funko Pops. Great. Amazing.
"Whoa, Dylan, is that you?" Zach's deep voice had Dylan spun around, forcing a smile. "Long time no see. Wait, did you lose a hand?"
"Yeah, yeah, hey, Zach! The hand? Oh, super boring story. Don't worry about it." He looped his arm around Ryan and squeezed him against him, eyeing his ex carefully who dumped Dylan over a fucking text. "But this is my longtime boyfriend Ryan. Heh...ha..."
Zach gave Ryan an awkward nod and Ryan returned with nearly the same exact nod. He then reached over to the left of Ryan to take a duo set of limited edition Grace and Anton Bizarre Yet Bonafide Funko Pops off the shelf. "Well, nice seeing you, Dylan. You look good. Sorry about the hand, uh-" He visibly flinched. "A-And nice meeting you, Ryan."
Then he went to the cash register and Ryan fixed Dylan with his own look. "What?! You made it awkward by staring at him." Dylan snatched the duo set from the shelf and shoved it into Ryan's hands.
"You totally have a type. It's hilarious. Like a funhouse mirror of myself that is somehow worse at social interaction. It's impressive, really."
"To be fair, his voice wasn't that deep in high school."
Ryan had some fucking nerve laughing about Dylan having a type when, a week later they're at the beach and a high pitched voice squeals from somewhere behind Dylan's left shoulder.
"Oh my god, Ryyyyyann! Is that you?!" A tall girl in a tie-dye crop top, almost an identical tie-dye pattern to Dylan's own tank top, runs towards them and squeezes Ryan into a hug. She's tall, maybe only an inch or two shorter than Dylan in flat sandals with long brown hair pulled into a side ponytail and super long limbs. "Long time no see! And who is this handsome devil with you?"
"Uh, Liz, this is Dylan. Dylan, Liz. We dated in high school for a bit. Dylan's my boyfriend." Ryan shrugged awkwardly, but Dylan didn't miss the proud smile flashed on his face when he called him his boyfriend.
"Nice to meet you, Liz!" The two embraced and shared pleasantries.
"And you too, Dylan! Look at this big broad shoulders. Bet Ryan likes cuddling up on those all night, doesn't he?" Liz grinned and Dylan laughed.
"Oh, he definitely does." God he loved making his boyfriend flustered.
After bit more idle chatting, she rushed off to rejoin her friends for a volleyball game, waving goodbye.
"You got some nerve talking about me and types. She was literally me with a wig and boobs..." Ryan's gaze seemed distant for a moment, like he wasn't looking at anything in particular. "...oh my god, you're picturing it, aren't you?"
"What?! No, no. Okay, so, whatever. We're each other's types. That's normal." He sat back down on one of their beach towels and Dylan joined him along the sand.
"That's true. Although, there's no one quite like you, Ryan Erzahler."
"And there's no one quite like you, Dylan Lenivy."
"Guess we're stuck with each other then, huh?"
"Guess so."
They both laughed, settling in for the rest of a fun afternoon at the beach.
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Pikmin 2
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In my previous review, I mentioned how the Devil is used as the very embodiment of all that is evil, and that, for me and my little video game hobby, the Hotel Transylvania Social Game is the embodiment of all that is awful, evil, terrible, and no-good in games. But, then what is my God? Who is all that is holy and virtuous, and everything I want in a game? And that brings us here.
Pikmin is my favorite series of all time, despite the fact that I've only played the first and second games. You play as a little man who controls tiny little leaf creatures to defeat enemies, collect valuables, and harvest nutrients to produce more Pikmin.
What I love about Pikmin 2 is how much more experimental it gets with the series. The first game was well known for its time limit to beat the game, which is completely removed from Pikmin 2. To go even further, while Pikmin 1 has you working under a ~15 minute time limit each day, the majority of Pikmin 2's gameplay takes place in underground caves which completely stop time above ground. Instead of collecting ship parts to get home safely, you collect licensed products to pay off your company's debt. There are new items you can use in a pinch called "sprays," or "potions," the game features a smorgasbord of new bosses. The list can continue for a while. Game sequels come in many forms, but easily my favorite is the one that throws a bunch of stuff at the wall to see what sticks. Pikmin 1 was, again, a fairly small game, and Pikmin 2 feels like it completely burst open at the seams with content.
Alright, enough talk about concepts. How does the game hold up? Well, it's got holes, that's for sure. The new Purple Pikmin type is obscenely overpowered. Though you can't get that many throughout the story, even just 10 of them is enough to flatten most enemies with ease. The game's dungeons can have just awful layouts that feel straight out of a kaizo hack. The game feels like it's being an ass to you, which is usually charming, but when you spawn next to 3 Decorated Cannon Beetles, or fall victim to a Spotty Bulbear falling out of the sky, it's pretty annoying. The game's lack of time limit in dungeons means that the most logical course of action is to go by yourself, with no Pikmin, and start punching the enemies on the floor. The punch is meant to be a silly input for when you have no Pikmin in your hand, not to be used to kill entire enemies. It's a major pace-breaker when it comes to that. Easily the worst pace-breaker is the Doomsday Appartus, a treasure that requires hours of very tedious, monotonous, boring grinding to obtain.
The game has a lot of flaws! I must confess... this game isn't a 10/10. It just happens to be the best game I've played so far in my life. The game can feel very irritating, but at the end of the day, the gameplay is still pretty fun. Most dungeon floors hit a very nice difficulty level to keep you on your toes, the overworld maps are still fun to explore even if they have been relegated to a small part of the game. Most of the games bosses are really enjoyable, the game's dynamic music is a phenomenal fit for the series.
Topic change real quick. I adore the writing the Pikmin 1. Olimar was this man who you would only see talk through the ship parts you find and his end-of-day writings, and they are some of the most heartfelt things I have seen in any game. You see Olimar as this very kindhearted person, curious about the planet he's on, yet feeling isolated and lonely at his situation, fearful that he won't escape. Pikmin is a very confusing game for new players, but these writings help let the player know they are not alone. You see Olimar talk about his family back home, about the new things he discovered about Pikmin, about his thoughts on life, and you see him grieve when his Pikmin fall in battle. It is hands down the best part of the first game.
In Pikmin 2, this feature is no longer in the game, instead replaced by a silly little email system. The reasoning is simple: Olimar has been through this before, his diary isn't nearly as impactful. But replacing it.... replacing it is my favorite thing in any video game, ever. The Piklopedia.
The Piklopedia records almost every enemy you find, every boss, every interactable object, and even the flora and fauna around the map. Each one of these is given notes from Olimar, and you start to see his nature as a scientist, and god, the way they are written sends my pilgrim heart aflutter. They're funny, they're intriguing, the wording they use is just absolute perfection, they're lengthy without feeling exhausting, and it all plays over some peaceful background music. After beating the game, you unlock Louie's notes for each one, providing even more insight into the game's frankly phenomenal writing. Pikmin 2's writing in the Piklopedia is no lower than a 10/10, it is absolute beauty and perfection. I could go on for days and days about it, something I have already done previously to my good friends, who for years have been subject to my passionate ramblings about the little things I like in life. I hope they don't get too tired of it. I just have a lot to say about Pikmin 2. Perhaps a Tumblr blog post isn't enough. It's hard to keep undepleted adoration at an acceptable length.
Overall score: 9/10. It's been avaliable on every Nintendo console since the Gamecube, go play it! Maybe one day I will find a game I truly consider a 10/10, but until then, Pikmin 2 reigns supreme. God bless it.
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sharksa-shivers · 7 months
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"OMG BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!!!!" "Ehhhh, i dunno bout the best but i'm trying...😏"
More Sharksty? Why of course!!! --- (We see Kristy in bed sick when Sharky comes into the main bunkroom…But not fully in…)
Sharky:(opening the door and looking over at Kristy, concerned)…So are you sick? Max and Lady were saying you were…
Kristy:(coughing, nods, not feeling good)Yeah, i think i have a cold or something…
Sharky:(we see him kinda perk up a bit, boyfriend mode activated as we see him grab a couple plastic bags he has in the hall, coming in and closing the door, smiling)Well in that case- (he moves over to Kristy, opening up the bags and showing her what he's got, caring)So i got you a couple of those mini pizzas you like from that one place, garlic cheese bread too with it, i got you some of those strawberry pocky things and some strawberry donuts, i got you some lemon lime soda cuz i wasn't sure what kinda sick you were, wasn't sure if you were throwing up or anything so yeah, lemon lime soda…I got you a few of those manga books you were wanting also just in case you were contagious or anything so you wouldn't be bored BUT IF YOU AREN'T, i also got some cool horror anime movies that we can watch together while you rest easy…
Kristy:(taking all this in, she just sits there a moment before breaking her quiteness and hugging Sharky full force, very much happy with this)BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!
Sharky:(taking the hug, caring but trying to downplay it some, shrugging and then hugging her back)Eh, dunno bout the best but uhhhhh, i'm certainly trying heh… ------------------ (Also speaking of Sharky biting and nipping Kris on accident lol oof...) --- (So Sharky and Kristy are watching a movie and Kristy's eating the stuff Sharky gave her…We see them on the couch together downstairs and Kristy's nomming on some of the garlic cheese bread when she looks over at Sharky.)
Kristy:(kindly, caring and offering him some garlic cheese bread)Hey, you maybe want a piece?
Sharky:(thinks a moment, smirks)Yeah actually, that'd be nice.
Kristy:(getting an idea, moving over with it)Open your mouth then, i wanna like feed it to you.
Sharky:(laughs a bit)What? Why?
Kristy:(caring)Just cuz i wanna.
Sharky:(rolls his eyes a bit but decides to go with it)Alright, fine. Pop the bread in then…(opens his mouth)
(Kristy tries but both her and Sharky are kinda dumbasses so when she puts it in, Sharky isn't really thinking and although it is very gentle, he accidentally bites her)
Kristy:(pulling her hand away, laughing)Ow!! Dude, you bit me!!
Sharky:(his mouth full now, freaks out a bit)Wait did i????
Kristy:(laughing, nods)Yeah, you did!!! Ya derpass!!!!
Sharky:(apologetic, feels very bad, still chewing his bread)Oh god, i'm so sorry!!!!! Oh god, did i hurt you??? Please tell me i didn't hurt you!!!! I didn't draw blood did i???
Kristy:(looking at her hand, brushing the bite off, hugs him)No no no, none of that!!! You just kinda startled me honestly hehehehe, but i guess that's also kinda on me, i forgot about your teeth and how sharp they are…
Sharky:(swallows his breadbite, awkward, rubbing the back of his neck)Yeah, i guess they are pretty sharp huh? I forget that too sometimes…
Kristy:(caring still, loving)Please don't let this make you feel bad the rest of the night, please, i promise you it's ok…
Sharky:(blushing)Ehhhh, no promises on my end…
Kristy:(topic changing, cuddling him)The bread at least was good yeah?
Sharky:(nods, wrapping an arm around Kristy)Yeah, it was heh. Nice and cheesey…Probs woulda been better with some sauce though… -------------------- (banging fist on the floor) YOUR HONOR, CAN YOU SEE WHY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH NOW??? FUCK!!!!! THEY LITERALLY ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE, ARGH!!!!!!!!! Also the "idk about the best but i'm trying..." bit with Sharky...He says that alot but cmon Sharkson, Kristy clearly is speaking facts fhfdhdjkfhfdj
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rinnysmuses · 4 months
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30. What completely petty topic (music taste, favorite food) do they find themselves completely at odds with their partner about?
31. What little thing do they find incredibly (though harmlessly) annoying about their partner?
Reading through the other questions I feel like I know the answer to them in some form even if we never explicitly wrote them out into headcanon posts, but I REALLY wanna know about these two for Chaos Trio. Rhea about Hadri, Hyth about Hadri, and Rhea and Hyth about each other.
THAT ONE MEME I REBLOGGED WHILE I WAS AT DISNEY
For 30:
Rhea and Hadri: Starbucks, actually. Rhea will tell you that it's real coffee, yes it is. Hadri thinks its garbage, so. He has no problem indulging Rhea's whims (how can he not?) but fucking hell they can bicker about Starbucks for days. weeks. months. years. hyth just wants them to shut up.
Hyth and Hadri: .... BLM VS RDM. thats right. these boys cant agree on who is the best caster. BLM VS RDM. Hadri is in BLM's corner cause boom and Hyth is in RDM corner cause *it has a rez*. they will never agree.
Rhea and Hyth: 'FF8 is great actually' aka the game Hyth will stan and Rhea will tell you its dogshit. Its always a dumb, petty argument about how terrible Rinoa is (or how great in hyth's eyes) or how boring Squall is or 'fuck the junction system' 'fuck you, the junction system was great!!!'.
31:
Rhea about Hadri: The long showers. its harmless. it really is but for the love of god Hadri, GET OUT OF THE SHOWER. Rhea cannot STAND IT. Get in. Get out. You do not need to be in there for an hour. or 45 minutes. you don't!
Hyth about Hadri: Really dumb but holy fuck he hates it when Hadri spins a boss in a dungeon for shits and giggles. 'Den isn't complaining!!!' 'you don't know that STOP IT' (Denis is in fact complaining PLS STOP SPINNING IT). Just watching it makes him a little dizzy. he just wants to get his wanderer's minuet off, please.
Rhea about Hyth: him and his expensive ass eyeliner. It's just eyeliner! you don't need it to be THAT top of the line. But, apparently, hyth does. and it drives Rhea absolutely bonkers.
Hyth about Rhea: making a mess on the balcony with all the soil from her plants. its minor. it doesnt hurt anyone. but please, clean it up!!! (and she does...sometimes). but he hates it being messy out there. stop spilling soil!!
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heartyearning · 5 months
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call me old fashioned but if you come to a theater show and you do any of the following: - take pictures during the performance - turn your phone on buzz instead of silent (buzzing makes sound newsflash) - text while the performance is ongoing (ESPECIALLY if you cant go an hour, NAY, TEN FUCKING MINUTES without doing so) don't be surprised if the artist (especially if you are sitting on stage and the artist is sitting among you and youre lit in a circle of like 30 people and he's Right In Front Of You holy shit) takes your phone and starts destroying it with a hammer. every single time they dont stop the play in the middle of it just to make people turn their phones in (for hammer destruction) im in awe by the self control these people have. i could not be a performer on account of i would be smashing phones left right and centre. and oh my god this guy was texting during a very emotional scene when its almost completely dark and he was just flashing his phone full force in the middle of all of that. i cant stress enough how this man was in the first row (it was in a circle but like it was still the way he had sat down he was front and centre) UNREAL. UNREAL.
sorry i was gonna leave it but you know what i cant listen if i ever run a theatre or anything of the sort i am enstating a new thing where if you buy a ticket you automatically sign over the rights of your phone (for smashing purposes) in the event that you are on it during the show. if i ever run a theatre im installing cameras pointed at the audience and a giant screen that flashes image (kiss cam style) of the culprit on their phone. we need shame to make a comeback big time. do you seriously have something thats so important you cant be away from your texts for 5 minutes but not impt enough that you stay home?
and listen if its a case of you are in the industry or trying to be in the industry and you wanna make notes a pen and paper will fucking suffice thank you very much.
and also furthermore on the topic of turning your phone to buzz its like if you forget to turn your phone off (which tbh happens too often but like) i can look past it but no you CHOSE to just half ass turning your phone off. girl i turn my phone to dont disturb and THEN i turn it COMPLETELY off, JUST in case. which is the bare fucking minimum HONESTLY. HONESTLY. NO BUT FOR REAL I CANNOT BELIEVE I KEEP WITNESSING THIS SHIT ID LIKE TO GO TO ONE THING WHERE PPL ARENT ON THEIR PHONES PUHLEEEEAAAASE. AND I DONT CARE IF YOU GET BORED I TRULY DONT I GET BORED OFTEN BUT I HAVE RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE PERFORMING THEIR CRAFT IN FRONT OF ME it makes me want to find out what these people do for a living just so i can show up and do the most annoying thing to whatever that situation might be (if i run a theatre etc etc) puh lease. be serious. grow up. oh my good god.
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