#In the way he doesn't burden Buck with his own feelings (even though that's mostly selfish on his part because

[buckttommy]

One thing that was very interesting to me in this episode is the way Eddie was just... not joking about Buck's love interests.

That stuck out.

Usually when Eddie talks to Buck about his love interests, it's with an edge of fond exasperation, teasing laced around his gently delivered truths, but there was none of that this episode. Buck told Eddie he went to see Natalia and it was like something switched. Eddie's entire affect changed when Buck started talking about Natalia. He went from being loose and easy (as loose and easy as one can get when standing at a grave) to being... not combative, necessarily, but visibly actively not wanting to engage in conversation about her either, and it's not...

It's not even jealousy!! We joke a lot about Eddie and jealousy, but it wasn't that at all. It was a fatigue that comes with silence, that comes with holding your tongue, that comes with keeping secrets. Especially when Buck said that he feels like Natalia sees him. That look Eddie gave him immediately after? That was pure hurt. That was him saying I see you too, I've always seen you. But he can't say that. He can't say that, because to say that would be to say so many other things about the way he sees Buck, and to say so many other things would mean to have to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth about the ONE thing he's been holding onto ever since he was shot.

I don't know. I don't know, but I think Eddie taking Buck on a date and I think about how Eddie left his son—his heart—in Buck's care so they could bake cookies together (which becomes profoundly more significant in an episode where Christopher was talking about baking smores with his mom), and I think about Kenny saying Ryan has been doing some very nuanced work in the back half of this season, I'm like

Oh. Oh. I see it, thank you. Loud and clear.

#Before 5B I was like 'Eddie's pining era Eddie's pining era WHEN?' #but babes we are right in the thick of it. It's in his eyes. It's in his smile. It's in the way he looks Buck #in the way he treats him. In the way he creates space for his confusion for his fatigue for his grief. #In the way he shows quiet support and a stern shoulder to lean upon #In the way he doesn't burden Buck with his own feelings (even though that's mostly selfish on his part because #no part of Eddie will ever be a burden on Buck but Eddie doesn't know that yet) #It's just. Eddie's feelings for Buck are literally in *everything* he says and everything he does #It bleeds from him just like his blood did on that street. #If everything about Buck/Eddie's lives have been shrouded by the shooting since it happened #everything about their lives has *also* been shrouded by Eddie's enormous and unflinching love for him #and he keeps holding his breath and swallowing it down and putting off the moment where he pulls back the lid #and it all spills out and before he knows it... before he knows it #it's going to be too late. And instead of his blood staining the street it's going to be Buck's and he's going to tell him #but he won't hear him because Eddie was too slow too fucking slow #(did we all peep the watch on his wrist? Yeah. Time is running out Eddie. Time is running out and it is not going to #wait for fear to release its hold on you. Buck's not going to cheat death again. Don't waste time babe) #Anyways. Yeah. YEAH. Yeah....... whew. This episode was a Lot #jack.txt #tv: 911 #911: 06 x 15 #911 spoilers

[bisexualbuck]

Firefam Prompt: During Athena's suspension, she's alone at home while the kids are at Michael's. At the firehouse, Buck is sick but tries to make it through his 24 hr-shift with no fuss. Bobby eventually has to send him home but doesn't want him to be alone. With the rest of the team (and Maddie) in the middle of a shift, he sends Buck home with the one person who he knows is free; Athena. She did say she "needed to do something..." (maybe firefam goes to the Grant/Nash house later for a visit?)

[Read on AO3]

“No.”

“Bobby, I’m fine – ”

“You’re not working today, and that’s it. End of discussion.”

Hen gives Buck a look that reads are you even surprised and why the hell did you even bother to show up and Buck throws his uniform shirt at her. It misses her by several feet.

Buck does not pout.

“I can work, Cap’,” he tries again. He knows it’s a lost cause but he has never known when to give up.

“What did I just say? Didn’t I just say end of discussion?”

It’s such a dad thing to say that it has Buck wincing in shame before he remembers that, as much as he’d want to, Bobby isn’t his dad.

Huh. Weird thought to have. Of course Bobby isn’t his dad.

Okay, so maybe his mind feels foggy and slow, and his whole body aches, andhis throat is drier than Death Valley in the summer. But that doesn’t mean he can’t work.

Does it?

His gaze falls on Eddie who is doing nothing to hide his worry at his boyfriend’s weakened state, and he sighs in frustration.

He hates being sick. He hates missing work, he is always terrified that one day day, he will slack up too much and then he will be left behind. The world will move on without him.

“You’re definitely hot,” Chim says as he puts his hand to Buck’s forehead.

Buck did not even notice him approaching. That alone tells him that he is no condition to do his job and ugh, why did he have to get sick?

“Coming on to me, Chim? What will Maddie say?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Can Maddie come pick you up?” Bobby asks, though it’s kind.

Buck shakes his head. Black dots start dancing in his eyes as he does, andhe has to hold himself onto Chim until the wave of dizziness passes. Whenit does, he sees that his team is surrounding him, having stepped closer to him.

Eddie is by his side, his arm wrapped around Buck, and his boyfriend’s thumb has slipped under his shirt to caress his skin in a comforting movement.

“She’s working until 10pm,” Chim answers for him when it’s clear Buck won’t.

“I can stay by myself,” Buck protests – weakly.

“No you can’t,” Hen says. “We’re all working, and it’s not like you have other friends.”

“Hey. That’s not true. I have friends.”

“I love you but you really don’t.”

Now, Buck is pouting. Sure it’s true, but he doesn’t like it being said like that. Likethey can joke about it while they are the only people he has in the world besides his sister.

They are all looking at him with wide eyes.

“What?” he asks, defensive.

He feels raw in a way he can only explain by the fever he is running, and worse than he did this morning. He is barely standing up and he knows, though he won’t say it out loud, that he would have fallen over were it not for Chim and Eddie holding him up.

“Are you – oh my God, you’re crying.”

Buck puts his hand up to his cheek, and stares in confusion at the wetness on his fingers. The effects of the medicine he took earlier are wearing off, he feels himself getting weaker.

“Alright everyone,” Bobby intervenes. “Buck, you’re not working today. Athena is still off work right now and she’s going to come pick you up.”

Defeated, tired, Buck can only nod.

He really hates being sick.

.

To say that Athena is surprised by Bobby’s request of babysitting Buck would be an understatement. She isn’t surprised that he called it babysitting, but she is surprised that Buck agreed with the idea of her picking him from the station and spending the day with her.

When she sees the state he’s in, she understands.

He wasn’t left a choice at all.

“Buckaroo, did you really think you could work today?”

“Wasn’t that bad when I woke up,” he mumbles, and sure, she totally believes it.

The team isn’t here, they are gone on a call. She thinks about waiting for them but she does not know how long it will be before they get back, and Buck looks dejected enough as it is without having to hear about what he’s missed on the job.

“Come on, Buck. Don’t make me carry you to the car.”

“You couldn’t,” he says as he gets up.

She only raises one eyebrow at him. He squirms a little under her gaze and she has to fight off a smile.

“You could?” he asks, a little lost.

“Do you want to find out?”

Apparently he does not because he follows her down the stairs and to her car. He is half-asleep by the time they get to her house. Thankfully, neither of them have to find out if Athena truly can carry him.

.

She has to admit that Buck isn’t that bad of a patient. He mostly just lays on the couch, under an impossible amount of blankets, and either sleeps his cold off or watches TV.

These past few days on suspension have been hard on her. Solving Emmett’s murder has brought up a lot of buried memories, but she has been healing – at long last. She had bottled up her feelings for the death of her fiancé for so long that letting it out can only be a painful process.

A process nonetheless, that Athena does not have to undertake by herself.

Bobby has been her rock, of course, but not only him. Michael, Hen, her kids too – they all have been there for her in their own way and she is so grateful for it.

She can’t wait to go back to work. Working has always been a way for her to put her feelings asides for a greater cause, to feel useful and needed.

Buck groans on the couch, and her attentions shifts on him. His eyes flutter open but they don’t see her, instead focusing on nothing. His cheeks are flushed red from the fever, he looks miles away from his own body, lost, almost like a child.

“You’re alright there, Buckaroo?”

He starts lightly at the sound of her voice, his gaze finally finding her, but not seeing her.

“Mom?”

Her breath catches in her throat but then, she softens at the sight he makes, disoriented and lost, but trusting, like he knows despite the confusion of not even knowing what is happening or where he is, that he is safe.

“Not quite,” she replies softly.

“Oh, Athena.” He blinks a few times. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright, sweetheart. Let me get you some water.”

He only hums in answer, his eyes already closing again. She hurries to get him a glass and a Tylenol before he falls back asleep.

“Here, get up. Take this.”

His movements are sluggish as he gets up but he does it by himself. She puts her hand on his forehead, his fever is still high but he should be back to normal in a few days. He swallows the pill and she urges him to down the whole drink before getting the glass back.

“I’m sorry to be a burden,” Buck whispers, eyes glossy. “I don’t mean to.”

Athena is seized by the sudden need to search after every person who has ever made Buck feel like he was a burden. She has had her issues with him in the beginning, but even then, she had seen the fire in him.

Now that she knows him, she knows how deeply he loves, how bright he burns, how far he is willing to go to help, not just those he loves, but anyone who may need it. She also knows that, behind his jokes and smiles, lays a sensitive man that isn’t always sure of his worth.

She comes to sit next to him, manhandling him into laying back down and so that his head rests on her tight, the way May or Harry would when they get sick. Her hand finds itself  soothing his curls, she smiles down at his so very blue eyes, wide and fixed on her.

“You’re not a burden, Evan Buckley. You’ve never been.”

He blinks up a her. A soft, almost timid, smile appears on his lips.

“You can’t say I’m a very fun guest to have around though.”

She flicks him on the nose and laughs at his outraged reaction.

“Believe it or not,” she says, “but I was going crazy doing nothing. This is a welcomed distraction. Also, I’d rather you be here than at your place, wallowing in your own misery. At least I can keep an eye on you. We can never be sure with you that you won’t find a way to end up in the hospital – again.”

“I love you.”

His eyes widen dramatically like he never meant to say it out loud.

“I love you too, Buckaroo,” she tells him, gentle, before he can have a heart attack on her.

“Oh.”

He gives her a blinding smile, a little goofy. His eyes shine a little too bright but she won’t mention it, will blame it on the fever.

“You know,” she says, “a man your age has no business being this cute.”

He frowns, “Sorry?”

“Get back to sleep, Buck. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thank you,” he murmurs, eyes already closed.

In seconds, his breathing has slowed and he is fast asleep. True to her words, she does not move away, she leaves her hand in his hair and at some point, she falls asleep too.

.

“Any news from Athena?” Hen asks when they get back to the station after their last call of their shift.

“She texted me an hour ago telling me that everything is alright,” Bobby answers. “Buck’s been sleeping the day away.”

“God, I wish that were me,” Chim groans, still covered in grim from the fire they have just put out. “I’m taking a shower and then I’m out of here and you won’t hear from me for two weeks.”

“You’ve got a shift tomorrow,” Bobby reminds him, amused at his friend’s antics.

“I’m not hearing it! Bye everyone!”

They laugh as he all but runs to the showers but they are quick to follow him. Nothing crazy happened on their shift, but it was still long and exhausting and they all want to be gone from the station.

Eddie too wants nothing but to run back to his place, spend some time with Christopher before it’s time for bed, eat dinner together and maybe watch a movie.

Instead, he sends a quick text to Carla telling her he will be a little late and waits for his Captain.

“I’ll be right behind you to pick Buck up from your place.”

“He can spend the night with Athena and I,” Bobby says. “It’s not a problem.”

“Christopher will be heartbroken if I come home without his Buck.”

Eddie smiles softly as he imagines the scene. He loves how much Christopher and Buck adore each other, that’s one of the many things that made Eddie fall for Buck – how big his heart is and how selflessly he loves.

“You really love him, don’t you?” Bobby asks and Eddie knows he isn’t talking about Christopher.

“I do.”

Bobby smiles and pats Eddie on the shoulder, “I’m happy for you two. You deserve that happiness.”

“Thanks, Cap’.”

.

Both men arrive at the Grant-Nash’s household to find Buck laying on Athena’s lap. Her hand is still placed on his head, a comforting but also protective gesture.

Buck doesn’t look as flushed as he had at the firehouse, and he is wearing a small smile even in his sleep.

Neither Buck or Athena wake up at the arrival and, without even consulting one another, both Bobby and Eddie snap a picture of the scene.

It’s their quiet laughter that wake Athena up but she does not look to bothered by that fact if her soft look at the man laying on her lap is any indication.

.

Best Captain sent a picture

Queen Hen: oh my god

Queen Hen: just so you know I AM framing this

Chim-Chim-Chimney: Bobby rip.. Athena is going to murder you

No Nickname Eddie: I thought we weren’t gonna hear from you for two weeks

Chim-Chim-Chimney: blocked

.

Hen does have the best ideas.

That picture gets printed and framed by a few people.

(Buck maybe tears up a bit when he notices it sitting among pictures of May and Henry at Bobby and Athena’s place.)

#911 fic #911 #evan buckley #athena grant #firefam #buddie #buddie fic #my writing #anon thank you so much for the prompt!! i hope you liked it #i don't know what happened with this #i'm becoming soft #Anonymous #also!!! to the other anons #it's coming up too don't worry