#If this entire thing sounds like ideas jumble that’s bc it’s supposed to

[cookii-moon]

guys guys listen to me I think that if Morro stayed after like s5 or was brought back or WHATEVER IDC I I think that Cole COULD be the most sympathetic but also I feel like he’s the most distant from him because I think Cole is still struggling with what being a ghost means for him and his identity and seeing Morro lean into it so much and especially the more negative viewpoints people have of ghosts would make him feel like he has to prove he’s different to the other ninja and so I think he’d actually regularly avoid or even antagonize Morro because of that I don’t think he’d be buddies with him at first and like obviously part of it is. Everything Morro did but also deep down it’s his own insecurity that he’s taking out on Morro because Morro’s presence and gradual acceptance by Wu and the others is scary to him because he hasn’t been able to cope with or accept himself and he’d purposefully try to ignore the ways they’re similar because he feels like it’d be different if he got close to the other ghost on the ship as opposed to if jay or Nya or Kai or even Lloyd did so he’s just determined to show how he’s NOT like Morro or other ghosts bc being like the other ghosts or even just being clos to them means leaning into or ignoring the “ghosts are all evil” thought process so he wants to be different by trying to oppose Morro but i also think this would backfire on him because the other ninja know him and Cole is usually pretty open minded and sympathetic and they’d notice this and how he acts around Morro and they’d be concerned like they’re also angry at and don’t like Morro but Cole is going to an extreme just to keep away from or find some reason to be mad at him and it’s so jarring to them so they notice he’s acting weird and confront him and stuff but he can’t tell them so he brushes it off as just what Morro did because he IS angry about that because the alternative just sounds selfish and he needs to be there for the others but also over time the ninja are accepting Morro and Morro is making up for what he did and is sorry and like he can never truly atone for his crimes or the harm he caused but he’s trying the best he can and so all the other ninja are getting closer to Morro and letting him into the team slowly but surely like they’re still mad and a bit on edge but they’re willing to try and see how it works if only for Wu’s sake and so Cole’s distance and anger just becomes more jarring bc now the ninja aren’t sided with him and his excuse of being angry isn’t working as well because like they know he holds a grudge but like being someone who ran away from home and also got mad at his father figure and also is a ghost and all this he should have at least some sympathy and I think one of them would try to confront Cole but then Morro comes along and that just makes the issue worse and they have a big fight and Cole blows up at him and is like well YOURE A GHOST what would ppl say if I the other ghost hung out with THE evil ghost and the other ninja and Morro is like wait that’s what this is about and Morro kinda understands a bit but the other ninja is like dude none of us think that!!! And they talk it out and like a few days later Cole approaches Morro and they talk abt stuff and they get to know eachother and they comfort eachother and then they kiss and fall in love I think and now they’re a ghost couple living their best life and Cole never fades away alone bc Morro is there for him and can see him and he helps him out and gets him an anchor and stuff so now they’re the happy resident ghost couple teehee

#ninjago #ninjago cole #cole ninjago #lego ninjago #morro ninjago #ninjago morro #sandstorm #sandstorm shipping #sandstormshipping #spirit shipping #spiritshipping #ninjago au #ghost cole #im a firm believer of aroace Cole but sometimes the urge to ship takes over and so this stuff happens #Anyways the ninja have varied responses to this #They’re mostly just confused when they go to the training deck and hear fighting noises only to find Cole and Morro kissing eachother lol #If this entire thing sounds like ideas jumble that’s bc it’s supposed to #Sorry if it’s hard to read lol

[urmomsstuntdouble]

ok not sure how comprehensible this post is gonna be but! regarding the languages discussion, here are my thoughts about the anglo americans. be warned this post is long as fuck, but thank you so much if you do read all of it, and i’d love to hear your thoughts about it as well! 

so i just wanna start with alfred’s name- alfred. i think he may be named after alfred the great of wessex, who may or may not have been the first king of england. he wasn’t technically the king of a unified england that we’d think of it as today- he was the king of wessex, as his title implies, but there was a point at which he was “in charge” or however you want to put it of most of present day southern england. anyway this presents the first of his issues with his identity. he’s permanently tied to britain beyond just his culture and most common language- his name is a reminder of who he “belongs to.” of course most people don’t know that and they just think it’s a little odd that this 19yo miles morales type is called alfred but eh, what are you gonna do. 

then you have the fact that there’s no official language in the US, which makes things a little harder for him. he’s never sure what language he’s supposed to be speaking in, as the human representative of america. he thinks it should be english, seeing as that is the lingua franca, but there’s times when he just doesn’t vibe with english as a language. i mentioned before that he struggles with keeping his (spanish) dialects straight (which @cupofkey summed up as immigrant-kid-syndrome and that’s exactly it), although its not limited to just spanish. he also has a hard time keeping other shit in line, to the extent where his thoughts are a messy jumble of languages, concepts, images, and feelings. this is most evident when he’s nervous, because his accent will get super thick and he’ll start just saying the words that pop into his mind, even if they’re in another language or straight up not words at all. the only peson who can understand him when he’s doing this is canada. both of them are countries of immigrants, although they are different in who immigrated and when, so they dont have the exact same nervous tick language, but it’s close enough that they can communicate well. it’s sort of like a more global version of europanto? might sound something like this to an outside observer, but again, more global (also for the video they dont start talking until 1:17). 

america and canada also have a sort of inextricable bond because of the first nations people. the first tribe that comes to mind are the members of the okanagan national alliance, which straddles the present day border of british columbia and washington state (this is also something america shares with mexico). it’s caused a lot of pain between them personally, and with the okanagan nation. just as the border itself is vague- though the us-canada border is more respected than the okanagan borders- the parts of their identities are also vague. they feel bits and pieces of themselves ebbing and flowing, and matt and fred have gotten into arguments about it because they struggle to define their identities and they just want to be able to explain themselves to themselves. but you know that often winds up causing friction with the okanagan nations, because whatever issues with identity regarding their indigenous people fred and matt are having. they’ve got it worse, only in a sort of..negative image. like whereas fred and matt feel it on the fringes of themselves, making it so they cant tell where they end and other nations begin, the okanagan nations feel themselves being slowly eroded. none of them want each other to suffer, though, because the okanagan people can be americans and canadians and okanagans all at the same time. 

this also applies with the american border with mexico, seeing as there’s some areas in the southwestern us where spanish is spoken more than english. when he’s down there, freddie finds it easier to communicate than when he’s speaking english. chicano is his language just as much as english is- he just sort of became able to speak it when the west was colonized, and he already knew spanish for business purposes, so there ya go. there are some issues with that though because the spanish in the west is primarily from mexico and central america, whereas the east is more from the caribbean- like how miami has a large cuban minority. so he’s got a weird sort of chicano english too, because it’s no longer “pure” chicano. pure is a very loose term there because there is of course variation within southwestern chicano speakers. angelinos don’t have the same chicano as nuevomexicanos. anyway i think he’d get it mixed up with spanish proper or spanglish a lot because of the similar phonetic rules. i’m not sure about any indigenous tribes who have land that straddles the us-mexico border, but that’s probably not alfred’s biggest worry with That Border. actually no i think he might purposefully talk in an aggressively chicano dialect whenever someone in the government wants to talk to him about the ice concentration camps. like he usually doesn’t try that hard to keep the wrong language out of his mouth but he will go Full Chicano, just to make them uncomfortable and to try to get the point across that he can literally feel the physical pain of the people trapped at the border in those camps. but this also causes some tension with the countries of origins of those people, seeing as they can also feel that pain. there’s quite a lot of discourse between america, mexico, guatemala, honduras, and el salvador about that, because none of them quite know what to do. they argue again about whose pain it is and how they should, as nation personifications, deal with it.

another thing that he struggles with where matt is concerned is with his indigenous languages. the languages of his northernmost people are the most at risk and endangered, and some are actually in the process of dying. he hates that, because as much as he wants to act like he speaks just SCE and quebecois, he doesn’t. he knows all of his people’s languages, and it makes him feel like he’s losing his identity a little bit when his indigenous languages start fading away. the worst part about this is that he doesn’t even always know it’s happening until the fading feeling kicks in, so sometimes he’ll just make a point of going up to the northwestern territories and try to hang out with the oldest inuit people he can find to try and have a chat. and it’s ROUGH communicating at first but when he can get back into it he feels more solid and defined. i think this isn’t unique to him, and that the other countries in the americas do this too, but bc of the way civil rights work in canada, it’s a little different for him. because indigenous canadians are recognized as a certain class of citizen, indigenous canadian governments have a collective legal bargaining power and could theoretically ask for legal protections from the ottowa government for their languages. however, this doesn’t apply to the northwest territories, so that’s why matt goes there specifically to talk to old ass indigenous people. their languages aren’t protected legally in the same way that french and quebecois are, so he sort of takes it upon himself as mr canada to do preserve the languages and history. it’s especially sad when a language dies out forever, because then he’s one of very few people who still speak it and if he wants anyone else to know about it he’d have to teach them. but since the language is dead, there’s no one for him to get help from. the people who once spoke it are gone or use other languages now, and it’s all very weight of the world on his shoulders. i think this makes him very sad, because of the weirdly smug left wing anti-american nature of canadian nationalism. like he understands exactly the sort of pressure freddie is under but also has a cultural pressure to not say anything about it or even offer to help. 

this is also why he has the most boring and basic idiolect out of perhaps the entire anglosphere- even arthur has a distinct posh dialect that he uses most of the time. matthew talks like a textbook. a very polite and anxious textbook, but a textbook all the same. and matthew williams actually kind of likes what alfred jones has going on, but canada doesn’t. canada fell into british hands after the end of the 7yr war, which happened to be the war that sparked the american revolution (speaking of which the ages for america and canada make no goddamn sense, ask me about it if you want more detailed thoughts). loyalists fled to canada, and developed a superiority complex around the idea that they weren’t ungrateful. then it was about how they weren’t slave owners- which isn’t entirely true- and in the present day, even in hetalia canon, canadians often define themselves in relation to america. that is, they are better than americans because of xyz political thing. right now, to quote the anime, it’s “our free healthcare and lack of gun crime, eh.” this also poses some difficulties for canada in terms of culture, though, because if that much of their national pride comes from being better than america, what do they have to make a name for themselves? for anglo canadians, that’s a more complicated question. for quebeckers, it’s that the’re not anglo canadians. but quebec is also annoying as fuck and canada actually has nightmares about there being a successful secession movement there, so. i don’t know what the average anglo canadian thinks of quebec seeing as im not an average anglo canadian, but i do know that i hate their accents so now matt does too, although he will respect their right to have their language protected by the ottowa government (because quebec, that’s why). 

anyway i do have one last thought and that’s that nobody will ever really know america or canada like they know each other. they struggle with a lot of the same issues regarding language, but america has just sort of given up. in some ways, matt’s jealous of him, and in others he’s so glad he’s not the united states. but they do understand each other a lot as the anglo americans, and as some of the number one destinations for immigration out of the entire world. so yeah, i dont have any specific strong conclusion ot this post, but would absolutely love to hear your thoughts about languages in the americas! shit’s wack in this neck of the woods my dudes. 

oh actually one last thing. i think america and canada struggle a bit with their identities because they dont fit into any one specific group, linguistically or otherwise. they feel a bit isolated from the rest of the world specifically due to the intensity of the melting pot effect, and even within their own countries sometimes. people will be like oh you’re too white or you’re too black or you’re too dine or too much whatever other culture, so they often feel isolated from that stuff because they are all of those things, and have a deep connection with all of it. anyway they’ll always be there for each other

#hhh this is Long #good job if you read all that its just pure unfiltered thoughts about the anglo americans #anyway sorry if the stuff about indigenous languages was weird or wrong #i have family who are dine so i tried to echo what they've told me about their relationships with that aspect of their heritage #as white passing dine latinos #but also just thinking about how fucking painful it must be to be a country #like my heart really goes out to them #specifically these lads #just because of the treatment of minorities within their borders..like how in the us you have so called patriots who are violently racist #im not sure how exactly i think stuff like domestic genocide or ethnic cleansing works in hetalia #but i think it might be analogous to self harm #idk #anyway enjoy this #hetalia #hws #hws america #hws canada #hws mexico #sort of #hws languages #this took..way too long to write but eh i enjoyed it #ceros posting

[flightofaqrow]

🌟 genuinely curious of either blog

Send 🌟 for lines of your writing that I enjoy a lot! ** accepting

[ I can’t read but I think I heard?? all of our interactions. then??? ]

Tai

Resisting rolling his eyes, Tai shuts the door behind him and walks further into the room. ‘’I wasn’t asking what you were doing, I was asking what’s up, like… how are you? Are you okay?” Rolling up his sleeves, Tai cants his head to one side as he looks at the other boy. “We can fight and talk at the same time if you want. Maybe I can even help.” [ casually offering to fight it out, nothing is more Tai ]

Doesn’t matter. He’s busy chasing that kiss, a fondness settling into his bones, even as Qrow pulls the ponytail loose and shrouds them both with strands of long blond hair. He’s glad Qrow isn’t put off by the look, even if there’s been the occasional complaint of suffocation. 

Tai doesn’t move for awhile either, watching Qrow work through whatever it is going on in his head. Tai wants to ask, burns to, to know why mentions of teamwork, of closeness, always made Qrow shut down so sharply. Where had he come from, that he’d been hurt so badly? His heart ached at the notion, even if Qrow would have bit him for having that pity there in his heart. 

He held up his palm, fingers straight, and his eyes narrowed in concentration. Gold light threaded up along his veins, gathering in the center, until his hand was alight with his own glow.“My semblance lets me concentrate my aura differently. It’s not just a barrier, or an energy source. It’s… a pool, and I can draw from it like a well, but it’s also malleable. I can make it into a weapon.” His eyes flashed blue and his hand became a fist. Gold flared into his right arm in turn, until both fists were golden. [ magic and semblance descriptions make me so happy. ]

Barty

“I came into the world punching my way through a shell. I’ll go out punching to give it symmetry.”

His head is full and aching, thoughts normally easy to set into their rightful places and dissect now jumbled and screaming. They almost sound real and present, a clamor of voices in his own head swirling with negative thoughts.

“I would suppose the transmitters near the top would be the most likely target. I’d have to read up on the inner workings of the CCT Networks specifically, and the kind of dust it uses. If you need me to it shouldn’t take me long.” A day or two of hard reading, at most. It didn’t strike him as remotely odd to offer. [ n e r d ]

Mug set aside, he settles into Qrow’s lap, long legs straddling the other. Qrow’s kisses taste of coffee and whiskey and he’s happy to part his lips and deepen it, to curl fingers into his boyfriends shaggy hair. “Quite a clever redirection,” he murmurs against Qrow’s lips before pulling away enough to remove his glasses. Azure eyes glint with amusement and a blush colours pale cheeks. “Can’t say I mind.” [ idc i’m gonna be horny on main for a second. thIS WAS HOT. ]

[ so is our entire nsfw thread but I will refrain from that much on main please just know that hhhhhhhhh ]  Except I will put this part:  He’s a doctor, a man of science and learning, he needs to know these things.

“….. I. Hm.” He may not have thought that through. “Suppose we raise our own koala…”

Am I allowed to put this artwork?? Is that cheating? idc. be gay do crimes.

speaking of nsfw. This art too. 

I found this in searching through, and mention less for writing and more bc I love these boys sticking up for each other on the dash when people give one of them shit. 

“They are indeed,” says Barty, unbothered by Qrow’s lack of knowledge on the subject. Once he’d gotten over the shock of things that Qrow wasn’t used to, or didn’t know how to do, he’d adapted.

when Qrow stops him with that look in his eyes. Barty can’t help but smile slightly, because he knows Qrow doesn’t mean it in a way that says ‘shut up, Barty,’ the way his own teammates can.

It had been decades since he’d ventured through one of Raven’s portals, and coming out the other side left him with something of a shudder. The air of Vale had turned flat and dead, mixed with the churning swirl of the wormhole she conjured, and then he was here.

“You’re incorrigible.” “I don’t know that word.” It may or may not be a lie, Barty doesn’t know. “Incorrigible,” Barty says, his voice adopting the lofty academic tone he usually reserves for tutoring or answering a teacher in class, “adjective. To do with a person or their tendencies, unable to be corrected, improved, or reformed, such as with flirting, or complete tenacity about not letting one’s boyfriend take off his damn pants.”

Qrow

“And which one of you are… are you, then?” Or am I the reflection? Am I always the reflection? Maybe he was the craving in their head. The idea made him want to cackle in an ugly way because that would just figure, and he had to swallow the urge.

He also orders another double, before stretching back casually, lanky arm along the back of the booth, fingers turning circles against the fake leather of the seat.

He glances down at her extended hand, his smile slowly fading, before he looks up at her. The silvery aura suited her, and illuminated her face with dancing waves that made him think of light off a pool of water. “You’ll have to pardon me if I don’t do that,” he said, hands drawing back into his lap to make a point before he slouches, eyes on her. “I don’t make a habit of lettin’ people just use their semblance on me when we ain’t even had a date or somethin’ yet.”

He looks too long to be allowed, all odd angles, as he nudges the plate to the side - rude to shove food in his face while he talks to someone without - and picks up his beer.

“...If I recall the posters correctly.” He does, of course, but usually plays up a poor memory for new people. 

#sunlitfeathers #* behind closed doors = ooc * #* hey i got a tip for ya = meme response * #im getting sleepy but ilu a lot ok

[louisweaterpaws]

hi 👋🏼 lately i’ve been considering starting to write fic... do you have any advice??

aw hiii that’s so exciting!! so i think the biggest thing is (if it’s chaptered) complete the entire fic before you post anything—this is something i didn’t do, and it came back to bite me in the ass so hard because now i have to work on one chapter at a time in chronological order instead of having the luxury to jump around to all different parts of the story, because i’m so focused on getting the next update out, and feeling shitty about myself bc of how long it takes me to update, and making my readers wait. so even if you feel excited about what you already have and you just want to post it so bad, TRUST ME, it will be soo worth it to wait and then post the entire thing all at once, or with a timely update schedule. (i am literally dreaming of being able to do this once i finish winyiniq and start my next fic).also really important: don’t be afraid to jump around to different parts of the story! you don’t always have to start with the beginning and end with the end. whatever you feel motivated to write that day–write it. whether it’s a scene from beginning, middle, end, or even the last fucking paragraph of the entire fic, doesn’t matter. write it!!! sometimes i’ll get stuck on a certain scene—like right now for example (jgfkjhk fml), i’m supposed to be writing the second half of this HEAVILY smut based chapter…but i’ve been so stuck on it for weeks because i’m just not in the mood to write smut at the moment (which is rare for me tbh) but at the moment all i want to do is write angst and jealous!harry…so i put the smut on the backburner for now, skipped ahead to the angst and jealous!harry stuff and now the words are flowing like crazyyyy because it’s something i’m actually in the mood to write. so if you ever get stuck on one scene—skip to something that’s easier or that you’re more interested in instead. you can always go back later.i also suggest keeping a brainstorming document. i keep mine minimized on my computer literally at all times, so that anytime something pops into my head real quick—an idea, a quote, chapter plans, dialogue, notes/reminders to myself (like, ‘hey dumbass, don’t forget to include this thing in chapter 3 because it will become important later on in chapter 10′ etc.)—whatever it is, i put it in the brainstorming document. that’s where i just get all the ideas out so i can put them together later. mine is a jumbled MESS lmao but it’s so helpful.whenever i get writer’s block, i just read a book or another fic. that way, it kicks my brain into gear of stringing words and sentences together lmao. and reading other people’s stories always pumps me up to work on my own but that might just be me idk. and if that doesn’t work, i suggest just typing something—even if it’s the most basic sentence in the world and you’re cringing because it sounds like something a third grader wrote. no matter how basic or lame or shitty the sentence or paragraph may sound, just keep going, and usually something will finally *click* and then the words and creativity starts flowing and you can go back and improve on that “rough draft” part.also highly highly suggest using microsoft word or a processor with an automatic save function. my laptop tends to freeze or shut down out of nowhere when it gets overheated, so the automatic save on microsoft word has saved me sooo many times. whereas if you write directly into the box on ao3, it doesn’t auto save anything. so if you accidentally click backspace or close out the tab or your computer freezes, you’ll lose allllll your work. once i’m ready to post, i just hit select all + copy from microsoft word and then paste it into the ao3 box.uhm what else? OH i like to use the search function on microsoft word to make sure i’m not using the same words and phrases too often. like if i search the word “amazing” it will highlight all the times that word has been used in that specific document, and if i see it more than once i’ll change it to “incredible” or w/e other adjective. you can even type a whole sentence into that thing to see if you’ve already used it before.i’m also constantly typing “synonyms for xyz” into my google search because sometimes my last 2 brain cells give up and i can’t think of a better word for “good” or “bad” well. this got to be really long lmao sorry but i hope that it was helpful to you!!! and i wish you luck with the writing 😌💜🤞

#fic!asks #anon #asks

[suddenlystorm]

I'M ENTITLED TO MY OWN FEELINGS

I feel like I need to put that in caps to get my point across. There’s this total possibility that what I could be feeling right now is wrong, could be the most appropriate feelings, who the heck knows! You wanna know what I do know? That I’m entitled to my own feelings regardless if they’re wrong or right. Another thing you wanna know? This is my blog. A place for me to vent, put my thoughts into words that I can read. That I can go back on and read after I’ve gotten some clarity, so that I can really understand them. I feel like I need to say this because of what I’m about to vent about. I feel like it might cause something. It might not. Hell, I have no idea if you or her even still look at my blog although I’m betting my graduate school education that you both do. So before I read or receive any backlash please refer to the entire paragraph above about my feelings.

So here it goes..

You’re married! Or so my sources told me so and then my creeping told me so. And to be completely honest [sarcasm] I find this the most funniest thing in the universe. But hey, congrats! I’m happy for you (on a serious note I am) and I won’t go into super detail of ALLLL my feelings toward this because it would be mean and I don’t want to be mean just in case either of you read this. And also if I said it, it could come off as jealously which is (surprisingly) one of the feelings I’m not feeling. (Yay for me growing and coming to terms with things! I give myself props bc it took a long damn time - about two years to be exact). One of the most prominent feelings is anger and I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA why I’m feeling this more anything. Okay maybe a little. I feel like a little bit of the spotlight, the happiness, has been taken away from me. I get engaged and bam two days later you get engaged. I get married (secretly, no one but immediate family and close friends know) and what do you fucking know BAM you get married. I feel like to outsiders we look like a fucking joke. I’m going wedding dress shopping in a few days, I’m looking at venues, figuring out my bridesmaids, colors, the date, everything, and then I find this out and I feel mad and a little sad. This is suppose to be the happiest time for me and it’s being taking away. It’s not you, it’s not her, and I know it’s not intentionally bc who would do that, right? I’m just getting caught up in all my feels. And I feel like no one can really understand me. I feel like people will say if I vent to them that I shouldn’t be feeling this way or that there is no reason to feel this way. Well I have every right to feel this way. I can’t control my feelings. It’s something I have been struggling with my entire life. I can’t make these feelings go away. I can’t shut them off, I can’t really talk about them to anyone, but Abby. She understands what I’m feeling even though she isn’t going through it. But she knows. It’s weird to be honest. We always know what the other is thinking or feeling. We feel it with each other and for that I’m grateful. I’m not going through this alone. I wish, I really wish I could vent this way to Jake. But I can’t. He HATES you. He makes me feel like my feelings are wrong or shouldn’t exist when it comes to you. And that’s unfair. I’m having to fake it in front of him while I’m going through something and needing his support. Anyways this post isn’t about him. It’s about this. Whatever this is. This feeling I’m having. It’s unfair. I understand it’s unfair to you as you read this, but honestly it’s not my problem. You could stop reading, I’m just venting here. I feel like I’m babbling at this point when I know I want to say more, how do I put it into words.

You still mean so much to me. You always will. But it’s in a different kind of way now, and I think you know what I’m saying. Bc you feel it too, it’s just hard to describe. Anyways, I’m getting off point. At least I feel that way. I’m getting distracted. I had something I was going to say and it went away and now idk what I was going to say. Fuck. I’m happy. You’re happy. But our newfound happiness doesn’t discredit the happiness we once had together and I feel like that needed to be said. Thank you for four years together plus another two of friendship. Thank you for making me as happy as you did. Thank you for everything you did for me. Thank you for growing as adults with me. Thank you for teaching me how to love and to be loved. Bc we both know I didn’t know either. It was a hard love, me and you. But we figured it out. We were shitty to each other at the end. Equally. We both thought the other treated the other worse. But it was equally. I figured that out eventually. Everyone feels their own way and what I thought wasn’t bad or shouldn’t have hurt you, did; and vise versa. We figured out how to be happier with someone else. We figured out what was right and what was wrong and how to make our new relationships even better. However we cannot forget the foundation of that. Of what got us here to this point. So once again THANK YOU (not sarcastically) because I’m being treated the way I should and I don’t tolerate anything less bc of you. I’m treating him extremely better bc I learned. And now I couldn’t be happier. I am full of love and happiness. And yes, there’s hard times like there will always be, but I know how to handle that now.

So yeah, I’m feeling anger and sadness right now. But I want to be understood. I don’t want to be told how wrong I am for this because I am not. I am fully letting go.

And one last thing… I miss my friend. Not only did I lose you as a lover, as my future, but I lost my best friend. And I’ve moved on from the relationship aspect of us (as I said we are both very much happy with our counterparts) but I haven’t moved on from losing my friend. I got my closure from you for everything but that. And I think all these feelings I’m feeling. All this confusion of why I’m mad and sad comes down to that.

I’m happy for you and the life you’re building for yourself. I truly am. It’s everything you wanted that I couldn’t give to you. And I’m chasing my dreams that I don’t think you could have given me, but someone has and someone has for you. That’s what is important here. We both got what we wanted, and I can’t say this enough, but we are happy with where our lives are at (as it seems for you, there’s only so much info people tell me and I have access too. That sounds really stalkerish, I know).

So there’s my feelings. All jumbled up and confusing, but isn’t that what feelings are?

By the way can I just say how cool elephants are? 😄