#If it isn't about pitying him or representing his tragedy

[rainbowsnowcone]

😔💔 I can not stop feeling devastated over Prince Lothric in DS3. You can describe his story as 'Here is a broken and traumatized abuse victim who only played a part in the apocalypse because he was lashing out against the system that treated him like a disposable object and refuses to die for it and it is your job as the 'Heroic Goodguy' to put this evil brat in his place with help from the 'very nice and helpful and concerned' High Priestess Emma who acts like she did not play a part in his lifetime torment and later rebellion. Go murder his elder brother Lorian the only person who truly cared about Lothric and will protect him at all costs. Then beat the ever living crap out of the vulnerable handicapped prince while the brother he is trying to revive is down (You know like a 'big strong manly hero who asserts themselves'). You kill him and take his head like fucking trophy to use it for the sacrificial ritual along with the heads of the others you murdered (YOU ARE HONORING THEM!).

#anti ds3 #Not fucking canon #This game was not made for me because apparently there was a good reason for a traumatized person like me to be treated like #a disposable object #I deserve to be put IN MY PLACE FOR LASHING OUT BECAUSE IT IS AN INCONVENIENCE FOR YOU?! #I can not even look at Twin Princes content and art without seeing Lothric being made a punching bag #If it isn't about pitying him or representing his tragedy #It is about giving him the MCU Loki treatment #And I have to see art where the Ashen One is about to murder him in 'glorious heroic fashion' while he is down and vulnerable #or see his fucking head #I was already disturbed by what the game did and it inspired the fandom to exacerbate things even more #I hate being alone in my grief #I have to be reminded that was my comfort character's entire role a mere punching bag for the big strong hero #Everything hurts #I hate how fuckin normal this is and it makes me want to leave this world so badly

[iviarellereads]

Harrow the Ninth, Parodos(1)

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one!)

(Slashed Ninth House skull icon)(2) In which we learn a little bit about Greek plays as a footnote before we even hit the Read More!

FOURTEEN MONTHS BEFORE THE EMPEROR'S MURDER

Hearkening back to the opening lines of Gideon the Ninth, and in a return to third-person(3):

In the myriadic year of our Lord--the ten thousandth year of the King Undying, our Resurrector, the full-pitying Prime!--the Reverend Daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus sat on her mother's sofa and watched her cavalier read.

Harrow picks at the embroidery of an old cushion, carelessly destroying "long years of labour by some devoted anchorite."(4)

Ortus(5) sits upright in the study chair, which is old and threatens to fall apart under his bulk. He and Harrow discuss the requirements of the summons by the Emperor to Canaan House, with Harrow losing her patience with Ortus's manner. She is at least grateful that someone painted his face to look as his father used to wear his: a solid black jaw, representing the Mouthless Skull. She doesn't especially love the Mouthless Skull, but a full skull with depression unsettles her.

Ortus sits up and says he cannot help her become a Lyctor. Harrow replies with, "That's as may be." Ortus says he's glad of her agreement, as he cannot fight for her or represent her in any suitable fashion, and the lie of it would crush him. Harrow says she's known him her entire life, she held no "delusions"(6) that he could be mistaken for a swordsman. Ortus suggests that, if a cavalier's duty is represented by their sword, Harrow might consider ORTUS NIGENAD.(7) Harrow is confused, feeling they've had this conversation before,(8) and encourages Ortus to tell her something new to her. Ortus says only that he wishes the Ninth House had produced a better swordsman in this generation, and not been diminished to "those who are fit but to hold their blade in the scabbard." Harrow has a nasty suspicion that the quote is from Ortus's ongoing epic poem devoted to Matthias Nonius, which Ortus has dubbed "The Noniad".(9) He even managed to pronounce the quotation marks somehow.

Harrow is in the process of mentally composing a retort when a serving sister enters the library. Only, she's not a serving sister. She is the Body(10), wearing a sister's "ashen paint". Harrow's eyes flick to Ortus to see if he will validate the presence of another person, but he's staring only at the ground in his shame. Harrow says the House has been well served by those with swords in scabbards, repeating Ortus's quote back at him, and tells him the quote doesn't scan. He tells her it's "enneameter",(10) a traditional form. He starts quoting, trying to show Harrow the scanning of the meter, but Harrow tells him he will train with Aiglamene for twelve weeks, until he meets the bare minimum required of a cavalier.

Ortus raises his head, but does not acknowledge the Body in the room, which complicates matters. Worse, he looks at Harrow with pity. He asks what else, then. Harrow closes her eyes, blocking out both his face and the Body's shadow, which doesn't prove anything about her physical existence.

"This isn't how it happens," said the Body. Which gave Harrow a curious strength. "I need you to hide my infirmity," said Harrowhark. "You see, I am insane."(11)

=====

(1) Parodos - the introduction of the "chorus" in Greek tragedies. The chorus is a group of actors from outside the play who comment on the dramatic action within it, and the parodos introduces them, typically after the prologue, with one full song. This one doesn't introduce much but a concept… but it'll make sense in its time, if it doesn't already after reading the chapter. Let the vibes carry you. (2) What could the slash mean? I hope you've picked up by now that the chapter icons carry meaning. This was an intentional choice by the editor, Carl Engle-Laird, who "grew up in the Wheel of Time trenches" (according to an interview with the One Flesh, One End podcast) and liked having the chapters headed up by a hint of what's to come. I have to agree that it makes the series just a little bit more fun to read in paper, despite the love a lot of people carry for the audiobooks. (3) I'm pointing this out for all the people, like me usually, who don't pay much attention to it. My notes being in third-person present tense makes me take a lot more notice of perspective stuff and changes. (4) Anchorite - someone who retreats from secular life, to lead a prayer-focused life, without explicit dedication to study. A sort of hermit, but typically sworn to remain in one place, usually a cell attached to a specific church, and typically underwent a modified funeral rite, making them a strange sort of living-dead proto-saint. Recall that Gideon called Drearburh's sleeping quarters "cells". Side note, this feels like a very different Harrow from the one we knew in Gideon. Do you think you know why? (5) Ortus? He's not the cavalier we remember… (6) Going past illusion for delusion, Harrow, the poor man is doing his best. (7) Hmm, remember how ORTUS the First was all-capsed out in the Dramatis Personae? How odd that Ortus would say his own name like that in this chapter. (8) See, I feel like this is a nod to the fact that we're supposed to be confused on first read. You're in safe hands. (9) Since "iliad" has come to be used both to describe Homer's epic poem and an epic tragedy, it amuses me greatly to see The Noniad. (10) "ennea" is a Greek number prefix meaning "nine". You may be familiar with iambic pentameter from Shakespeare, five (penta) "feet"/groupings of two syllables with emphasis on the latter one (iambic). In this case, Ortus's poetry uses an unknown enneameter, or nine groupings of an unknown syllabic layout, hence the line "That's not nine feet of anything." (11) Well that's certainly a bomb drop.

#the locked tomb #tlt #harrow the ninth #htn #harrow the ninth spoilers #htn spoilers #harrowhark nonagesimus #ortus nigenad

[homemade-ghosts]

any theories? the obvious answer is maybe gina finds out they can bring dates/finds out ej was lying (for whatever reason. i’m genuinely curious as to why he lied unless it’s to do a promposal himself which would still make me mad if i was gina like go by yourself atp bc you ruined the night just to prompose in the morning?). or metaphorically it means their book/story is getting closed. or maybe their relationship is left open or open ended by the end of this ep (which i hope not if That leak is real bc gina is about to get SLANDERED by Them if so)? to try to think of it in a positive way i can’t really think of any way the emoji can be positive besides the “they’re open ended” way so? idk what do u think. or i just thought of another one maybe it means everything between them finally left out in the open? can be positive or negative ig

I'm not sure Gina would even think to check the camp guide/rulebook & see if "No dates to Camp Prom" is in it because, in order for her to do that, she'd have to first suspect that EJ doesn't want to go with her and what reason does she really have to believe that her own boyfriend wouldn't want to take her to a dance? Unless, maybe Val (or Maddox?) makes an offhand comment early in the ep, like, "So, are you & EJ coordinating your outfits for tonight?" and Gina goes, "That'd be pretty pointless, since we can't actually go as each other's dates." Val stares at her, confused. "What do you mean?" "You know, the whole 'rule' about no dates to Prom. How it's, like, a tradition..." Val's expression grows sad, almost pitiful, "...Gina, that's not a rule." "It has to be because EJ said--" and Val pulls out the rulebook all CITs have to read, cover-to-cover, flips to the section on rules for Camp Prom and shows her that there is, in fact, no rule about not bringing a date.

If EJ did lie though, it would have to because he wanted to breakup with Gina, but he didn't have the courage to actually do it, so he used the "no dates" rule as an out. This doesn't really match up with EJ's mindset in the ep though, since we see him kiss her & say that a perfect musical is how he stays in SLC with her (& while I don't agree with his approach, since Gina literally tells him that this isn't about the musical and that she just wants to spend the day together and try to win Color War with him and he decides to completely ignore that in favor what he thinks is best, I do believe he was being sincere). Something definitely would have had to happen mid-day for EJ to do a complete 180 and we were given no indication of that.

& While I do think their chapter is ending this episode, there are several closed book emojis that would better represent that than this open one does, so I don't think that's what Sam is referencing here. I've seen a lot of people saying that it's "close the book before it turns to tragedy" (a reference to Ricky's breakup/accepting the breakup song from s2) and I love that, but I think it's a bit of a stretch.

I really can't see their story being left "open-ended", the resignation on both their faces during the fireworks scene says, to me at least, that they both know this is the end. Also, I can't watch any more of Gina consistently putting in all the effort into their relationship while EJ does nothing but leave her feeling unappreciated and rejected. I need it to be over. (& yeah, I agree, I already know #they will come for her for the [redacted] even if pw is broken up by then, but I don't want to make it any easier for them).

My first thought was pretty much what you mentioned in the last part of your ask, because when I see an emoji of a literal open book, I think of the phrase "I'm an open book." which is to be completely honest about yourself, no holds barred & I could potentially see that being a reference to their breakup. Both of them have sort of been avoiding all the reasons they don't work up, until this point (EJ by diving into work & refusing to apologize, address or explain why he lied/hid things from Gina. & Gina by repeatedly giving EJ the benefit of the doubt and trying to ignore how little effort he puts in, hoping things will be different if she just keeps trying). Maybe their breakup is when they're finally honest with themselves & each other? Open book, no more secrets or silent suffering. Gina realizes she deserves better and EJ realizes that he...I don't know, doesn't know how to be a good boyfriend/partner and doesn't have the time to devote to being one? That he isn't the right person for Gina? (that was me looking for an alternative to "EJ realizes that he's an asshole", which is what I really wanted to say lol). Then, with everything out into the open, they realize just how disconnected & incompatible they really are.

My other theory is a boring one, but I'll include it anyway: a book typically represents school/work/learning, so maybe EJ nearly stands Gina up because, despite knowing how excited she was for Camp Prom, he was busy working on musical stuff. (& when Gina is rightfully upset because not only did her boyfriend reject her promposal, but she had to stand around watching all these cute couples while her boyfriend was nowhere to be seen, EJ could be like, "This musical is more important than some stupid dance, Gina.”) I'd say EJ doesn't even show up to Prom at all, but there's a BTS pic of Matt, Josh & Frankie all in their 70s-inspired Prom outfits, so he’s definitely there at some point.

I saw someone on Twitter say that Gina "reads" EJ (as in calls him out for being an absolute garbage boyfriend) but my personal favorite is someone else suggesting that Gina throws a literal book at EJ lmao 😭

#anti portwell #hsmtmts #hsmtmts s3 #anon #asks

[notyour-valentine]

John, Tommy or Arthur? Which brother would you choose if you had to? What do you think about each of them?

I mean, it depends for what, doesn't it?

In regards to my thoughts:

With Arthur I pity him. Like all the brothers I see him as a deeply traumatised person who suffers mentally from the consequences of his trauma, however because he is unable to properly address it (due to that time period, his life situation and influences in his life), he becomes very dangerous. The tragedy in this character for me, is that he is trapped in this violent version of himself, which he despises on the one hand, but on the other is necessary for his survival. With Arthur, there is also this lack of identity. He is expected by social standards to be the head of the family, but he is surrounded by people more intelligent and more capable than him and is instrumentalised by them. For someone who seems to be very attached to his father and yearning for his approval, this has to be extra damaging. We also see Arthur showing abusive traits with Linda in S4 in relation to those archaic values, which perhaps were time appropriate but aren't shown with his brothers (or at least not nearly to that extent), which is frightening.

I think we don't really know that much about John. He too was traumatised but seems like a more lighthearted person in comparison. Still, he understands the truth of a situation. He seems to be very protective of his family, and willing to make sacrifices for them. He also isn't afraid to speak up for himself and for what he believes to be right or wrong. It was him who spoke up for Mrs Changretta and called out Tommy on his nonsense, and who showed his father his place real quick before Tommy came home in S1. I wish we could have seen more of him. While we see him argue with Esme, he is not nearly as frightening as Arthur was with Linda. I think he is a very free spirited person who would have been just as content and happy on the road with Esme. Also, in their marriage, they seemed to be equals, which was lovely to see.

Tommy, well - Tommy is complicated, isn't he? I believe he is a deeply traumatised individual. I do believe that the war changed him, but I think painting him as a happy-go-lucky stableboy before the war is false too. He is incredibly intelligent and I think he was aware of the situation in his family from very early on, the abuse, the lack of money and the vulnerability that came with it. I think when his father left, it was him who tried to rebuild the family structure and in a way I don't think he has ever been able to let go of that responsibility or control. The war also made him responsible for not only killing strangers but sending his own to their deaths which is a horrific duty to have. In his dynamic with his siblings and the others from that time, I see remnants of that, which is maybe why he finds it easier to work on an equal level with women. They were never his superiors. They were never his subordinates.

He wants to protect his family, but he doesn't see his family members as his intellectual equals (although that changes with Polly and Ada I think). It burdens him but he refuses to share the load, even if it is crushing him. He can't slow down and he can't relax because he fears the whole world would collapse not only on him but on his family too. I think he also has a lot of self-esteem issues and insecurities because he values his own life and his own self too much. He sees himself more as useful in what he provides than what he represents to his family. I do believe Tommy wants to do good, for his family and society at large, and I pity him too, though in a different way than I pity Arthur.

If I had to choose a brother, I don't think I could choose Arthur. He is too violent and unpredictable for comfort. With John and Tommy, I'm not sure if I could pick one, that depends on many more factors. I think a relationship with John might be a lot easier, while a relationship with Tommy might be more successful and productive. I do think that Esme was happier in her marriage with John than either Grace or Lizzie were in their relationships with Tommy, which is also an indicator.

I know this might not be the answer you were expecting, but I hope it is not a disappointment.

Thank you for asking

xx Val

#valentinesanswers #valentinesmeta

[ashintheairlikesnow]

hi ash! i know you said before that you're not autistic you just did a lot of research to depict chris realistically- do you have any advice for finding resources on writing disabled characters that isn't like... horribly abelist? im writing someone with an intellectual disability from head trauma and who is nonverbal, and i want to get it right but everything online seems very autism-speaks-y. im autistic and semiverbal but i dont have an id and i want to be realistic and respectful.

I cannot speak with any expertise or sense of speaking from enough experience to be taken as an expert here, and defer as always to those with lived experience with intellectual disability!

But I will give a few more general tips for what to do when looking to write a character with a neurological makeup that doesn’t match your own, as far as what has worked for me with Chris:

1. The story should never be ABOUT their lived experience if you do not also have it. Chris’s story is not about autism, or being autistic. I would never presume to try and write a story like that because, whatever my intentions, I don’t have that knowledge that comes from living it. I would at BEST be taking the experiences of others, their voices. At worst, I would be someone standing with a megaphone shouting over those who deserve to be heard.

Making the disability what the plot revolves around is... generally just not going to be a good idea, in any sense. It’s moments like this where I feel like it’s best to defer to the writers who have lived it, instead. 

This is not to say “never write someone different than yourself”, because... I don’t think that’s at all good advice. I think that way lies stunted writers who never push themselves. But it does mean “do not center the story on this thing if you have not experienced it and don’t have that knowledge and understanding”.

2. At the same time, don’t try to be coy or dance around or hide the disability behind purple prose or refuse to acknowledge its reality. Trying to make a disability sound cute, or talk around it instead of speaking it out loud, can be minimizing or shaming in ways that I think it’s easy to miss, if you don’t live with that disability yourself! To me, this touches on one of my hugest pet peeves - characters who are written as having a particular neurodivergence in media, or shown on tv, but they never expressly admit to it or name it. 

I know I hesitated with Chris, more because I didn’t feel comfortable giving him a diagnosis until I understood autism better myself, and I do regret how long it took me to embrace that reality about him. I just thought it better to err on the side of researching before I embraced. But I do feel some guilt about waiting so long when I had readers who were identifying so heavily with him, and I kind of knew, but just didn’t feel comfortable owning it yet.

3. On a related note - disabilities in a story that become melodramatic tragedy or turn the disabled character into a ‘redemption story’ for an abled character. This is so, so prevalent in common media and pop culture and once you recognize it for what it is, it’s so hard to not see it in so many places. Think of how many movies, novels, etc contain a disabled character who exists to teach abled people some virtuous lesson about living life to the fullest or ‘what it really means to be human’ blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t do that. Please. (I mean, I kind of feel like you definitely won’t, but I’m just speaking very generally here). If you find the story going in a direction in which abled people learn something from the disabled person, please think very carefully and critically as to why the story is heading in that direction.

Language alone can also be a problem here - think about the difference between openly describing a character moving around their life with a wheelchair vs. calling them “wheelchair-bound” or “reliant on a cane”, when the cane or wheelchair may actually represent freedom to that person - an aid they need, yes, but one that allows them to live with far more agency than they might have had otherwise. 

To describe them, especially from their own POV, as “wheelchair-bound”, may ring false to disabled people who understand that the wheelchair isn’t a cage, but a tool that allows that individual person to feel less caged by being able to more freely leave home.  

(This varies person to person, just providing an example)

4. Educate. Research. And don’t just do so by asking people with disabilities to tell you their stories. I often express gratitude to the autistic readers, those with ADHD, etc who spoke up about Chris, talked about their own experiences, identified with him, found him very resonating for aspects of their own lives. 

These stories, this information, this sharing of their lives was given freely to me, and I’m fucking amazed and grateful for how welcomed Chris was, and how willing readers were to share about themselves when talking about him.

Their willingness to speak about these things is something I treasure. But I absolutely would never believe that a single person owed me the story of their life to make sure I got Chris right. That was my responsibility, you know? I try to keep in mind the concept of ‘emotional labor’. Asking a disabled person to be your resource is asking them to give, and give, and give of themself. They may want to give you that kind of labor, they may not. But I definitely wouldn’t ask it of anyone without understanding it was something they were happy or felt comfortable giving.

Research, on the other hand, is essential. You mentioned things being “autism speaks-y” when trying to research on your own, and oh god, do I feel you. It sucks that autism speaks is the first thing to pop up when trying to research the lives of autistic people - and in my research, I was lucky to already know AS sucks and write them off and anyone who heavily referenced them as not helpful. I can see how someone might not know that, though, and stumble on them and believe they were a helpful resource for writing autism when they... well. Nope. 

Try to think about the express disability you are writing for this person, and why, and then go research! I looked up “books on autism recommended by autistic people”, and found some invaluable books, yes, but also papers published online, websites, etc! Each of them vetted and looked over and recommended by autistic people, so I knew I was getting information that came from people with those experiences and that understanding. A good example - I picked up a book on the history of diagnosis and treatment of autism in the United States, mentioned it here, and @redwingedwhump recommended a book called Neurotribes... which turned out to be immensely more helpful, spot-on, and provided some really excellent foundational information I wouldn’t have found in the first book at all.

There’s a lot of information out there on Traumatic Brain Injuries and their lasting effects on individuals who receive them, so I would start there. What you’re describing sounds like a TBI with lasting effects! So I would start your research there, and also look up being nonverbal separately, as well as combining the two. Make sure you’re not just looking at the top links - often paid ads or problematic organizations that are able to pay more for better exposure - but also scanning for blogs, nonprofits, lived-experiences stories, too.

I found a lot of information on the second or even third page of results i would never have seen if I only stuck to the first. Remember the algorithm on search engines is usually showing you what other people are clicking on, not necessarily the best source.

5. This is one you the asker already know, but I want to include it for general reasons: do not ‘dumb down’ the thought processes of a nonverbal or semi-verbal person. I see this in fiction surprisingly often, and I think it’s this sense we have as abled people (’we’ just meaning I’m including myself) that being verbal is required to have a highly complex thought process, and it’s... it’s just fucking not. Speech and though are related but not completely wound around each other, and the ability to verbalize is not the same as the ability to think. 

Like I said, I know you know this, asker, but it’s something I see in fiction/media and it drives me up the wall. So I wanted to include it.

6. For the love of God, do not use medical terminology unless you actually know what you’re doing/talking about. Many disabled people or those with serious medical conditions become what amounts to experts on their own diagnoses, because they have to. They have to be experts to receive the care they should be able to rely on. If you constantly fuck up terminology - trust me - it will be noticed, and it will take people out of the story or hurt their ability to suspend disbelief while reading.

There are ways to do medical scenes/conversations with doctors that avoid falling into this problem! I would just be very very careful to heavily research before using any complex terminology.

7. This disabled person does not exist to evoke pity. They are a human - nuanced and multi-layered - living their life, and their story should always, always reflect that. I don’t really have anything else to add to that.

I would love to hear further advice from anyone with anything else to add.

#writing advice #writing