#I'm so sorry I feel like I'm underselling a show I really like

[tetitous]

I may be projecting one of the rare anime trios I like onto my fav series but I feel like the dudebros of KH would be better off just enjoying Sasha, Alone and Tenma's story from Saint Seiya: The Lost Canvas, because clearly their dynamic is what they seem to be expecting from the Destiny trio

(And maybe I just wish most people knew about Saint Seiya: The Lost Canvas, because, like, the anime is great okay?)

#kingdom hearts #destiny trio #saint seiya #lost canvas #I'm so sorry I feel like I'm underselling a show I really like #my whole life is just tracing parallels between stuff I enjoy

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Vee's Studies!

(scroll to the end for timelapse :3)

I'm like, kind of obsessed with them lmao. While I've drawn Vox quite a lot (I've been working on a Vox animation thing over the last month-ish) I hadn't done much of anything when it came to Val and Vel. I knew I'd want to do something with them all later on, but I wanted to get a good understanding of their designs, shape language, and the differences between the three of them so I can play a lot more when it comes to doing them (heh) in my own style.

So, since I was most familiar (and most obsessed with out of the three lol), I started with Vox :3

While I've been working on the animation project, it had kind of been an 'adjust-as-I-go'/'let's-bullshit-this' process, rather than doing the work of understanding why certain things looked more correct than others, so I still learned a LOT from this one study. (Plus the scene makes me wheeze and I happily took the excuse to use that moment as his study reference haha)

Obviously Val is... an asshole, to really undersell it. But this is hell, his character is interesting and his design is immaculate. I think I had the most fun with studying him tbh. Without his santa wings-coat he- *coughs* - yeah. Uh. Good design. I can actually believe that Angel fell for him at one point. Manipulative bastard - sorry tangents. ANYWAY! XD

VERY fun to draw, and a very good balance within these designs of showing off character attributes but also not taking themselves too seriously (The HATS these boys wear! *wheeze* did Velvette just give up fighting them on it? I've gotta know haha)

I missed color too much by this point to make them all match perfectly, and frankly - trying to draw canon Velvette without hue differentiation is AWFUL she has so many details and overlapping elements. If I ever have to draw Vel from 1x03 again I might cry.

Something about her 1x03 look actually makes me feel viseral irritation just by seeing it (like, even b4 I made myself draw it), but then I see her in 1x08 and I wanna draw her forever???? She's so fucking cool? So fucking cute????? The duality of man ig lmao

Anyway, the TLDR is that actually being conscious of how things are represented when drawing a character can lead to surprisingly immense insight... I feel like I not only understand so much more about how to represent their characters, but also a much firmer grasp about how the shape language in the show works.

These designs are immaculate and I had so much fun. I actually have a lot more I could say about this, but my period came today and I'm tired and this post is already massive so I'll leave things here for now! But yeah! Hopefully more Vee's in the future bc I love them!

Wishing you all well! <3

#my art #digital art #fanart #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hellaverse fanart #hazbin hotel vox #valentino hazbin hotel #velvette hazbin hotel #vox fanart #valentino fanart #val fanart #velvette fanart #character studies #vees fanart #the vees #the vees hazbin hotel

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 2 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out one post wasn't enough.

I still cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I still needed to get even more feelings out.

Act 2, Scene 1: The castle courtyard one year later:

• "We shouldn't be alone together" like girl

• I love how she's almost exasperated by it

• When she fantasized about this all-consuming high-stakes love she probably didn't think about how exhausting it would be to actually live with it all the time

• Like having this conversation every single month does sound exhausting

• The way she's actively trying to drive him out of Camelot, Genny is so much and I respect it

• She's really doing her best in a way that involves truly torturing Lance, he should really do some soul searching about why he loves someone who treats him this way

• "I've trained dogs to chase you"/"And those dogs were fast.. the expression his bark is worse than his bite that wasn't my experience"

• Sorkin slightly breaking the tension of this scene which is so needed

• "You're not English"/"Neither are you"/"I think that changed when I became queen of England"

• I also feel like there is a lot to unpack in this exchange

• "And when would I do that Genny?"

• The angst in that delivery

• If Ever I Should Leave You is so gorgeous

• I think it was Sorkin who basically said that the show doesn't need magic because the songs provide enough magic on their own and this is the perfect example

• Jordan Donica is tremendous

• I knew him from Charmed and it took me a bit to place him but holy shit

• I may have actually seen him before, I'd have to check but regardless I need to be paying attention to literally any theater he does because I want to go

• This applies to all of them, who am I kidding

• Anyway, he's amazing here and I am probably underselling him in this post because I only saw him half the times and so my memories are much less clear

• And my reference is closing which was not him by this point

• And the outro music (? sorry I know nothing about music) is absolutely stunning

• This song is so romantic but also very shallow

• They're fulfilling a version of love that is all big gestures and big feelings but not necessarily substance

• Because they're trying to fill a void in themselves using the other and when you do that, you can't see the person as an actual person

• Just an extension of your unmet need

• Which is too bad because I think if they weren't, they might actually like each other

• But fuck is this song so romantic

• Every lyric is good, the way they're sung, I think I may for the first time have use of the phrase swoon worthy

• Specifically the end

• "I have a thrilling engagement. I'm giving prizes at the potato show. I'm eager to find out what the qualities of a prize winning potato are"/"I'll be at your side Ma'am"/"Thank goodness for that, those potatoes can be dangerous"

• The lines are so funny and her delivery is so heartbreaking, I am suffering

• I do just love Genny so much and she deserves happiness dammit

• "So the rumors are true, the chain of wedlock is so heavy in Camelot it takes three to carry it"

• Mordred coming out with the one liners immediately

• "He's willing to make any old man a knight I see"

• Pelli immediately threatening violence, beautiful

• The whininess of "I shall be busy tomorrow afternoon" and slapping the bench

• Fourteen year old edgelord Mordred

• Very interesting to have him be a year younger than Arthur was when he became king, really underscoring how young he was

• "I was raising by a mother with a fatally broken heart. Makes for a dark childhood"

• Like do we think Mordred is just trying to drum up Arthur's sympathies or is this actually true?

• "And when you speak to the king, you should remember you're speaking to the king"

• Arthur literally never insists on any manner of kingly respect but his son is a little shit that he hates, so he will

• Love that

• "Dispatch to the court, the king has a child he fathered out of wedlock. Problem solved."

• The blackmail just instantly failing is very funny

• Also would love to know how the conversation about this between Genny and Arthur went

• "I'm not ashamed of you. You don't embarass me though it's not for lack of trying."

• That's too generous, Mordred is embarrassing

• "It's always been my wish that you and your mother stay here where I can take care of you both"/"Stay where, in the servants' quarters?"/"In any quarters you like"/"Except the queen's"

• I wonder if Mordred is the one who feels this way or if he's just parroting back what Morgan has said

• "I was a boy when I met your mother"/"And my mother turned you into a man"/"A man named Merlyn turned me into a man"/"That's a new bit of palace gossip"/"No you idiot, he was my teacher"

• Obviously sarcastic Arthur is always a treat and specifically the facial expression and tone of no you idiot

• But just so curious about Morgan and Arthur because Arthur gets pissed at that whole turned into a man bit

• And he has been pretty chill with Mordred being terrible for this whole scene

• He's very much not comfortable with what Mordred is saying and this is the only moment where Mordred gets under his skin and like that is very interesting

• "In this place the law applies equally to everyone"/"Even the king and queen?"/"Especially the king and queen"

• You are literally watching the light bulb pop over Mordred's head and it's played perfectly

• Everyone in this cast is perfect

• The Seven Deadly Virtues has no right to be this funny

• "Making my Beelzebubble burst" is my favorite but really this entire song is great

• It's such a petulant performance and it's perfect

Act 2, Scene 2: The King's study

• Another amazing bit of scene change music

• The intimacy of them spending their evening playing chess together and talking

• Presumably this is just what they do on a lot of nights and I love it

• I feel like there's definitely potential in a their relationship through chess fic

• Someone please

• I firmly believe they are at like a full 50-50 split in terms of who wins

• "Are you really reading while you're chasing me around the board?"/"Sorry I didn't hear you, I was reading and chasing you around the board"

• And his okay in the middle like he knows he set himself up to get mocked

• Making fun of each other is one of my favorite love languages

• Also same structure as Arthur telling her it will seem that she's rooting for Lancelot to lose and she says that's because she is rooting for Lancelot to lose

• It's just a fun little dialouge thing that I enjoy Genny doing

• Makes her lines feel hers

• I love that Arthur has Merlyn's final warning on his mind so naturally he consults Genny

• And then it devolving into a philosophical discussion about what is and is not possible

• "I was 10,000th person to try, how do you explain that?"/"9,999 people loosened it"

• A perfect and funny line that becomes sweet and profound later on, I will never not love that

• "We have greatness in our grasp, humanity does, but for some reason every time we see it we assign the responsibility to some supernatural force. Or to god."

• You would think given the structure of the love triangle that Arthur would be set up to scoff at the idea that god has responsibility for human greatness in contrast to Lance being extremely devout

• And like I do think Arthur and Genny are actually on the same page but I enjoy that she gets to voice that thought

• This is the woman who first ran away and then threw prayer on top after as a little afterthought so yeah perhaps Genny is not the best catholic

• "Perhaps when he died, his soul transmogrified-"/"What did I just say?"

• Arthur immediately needling her and doing that stupid little hand motion on transmogrified

• They're adorable

• "I enjoy seeing you get riled up"

• This is what you say to a woman you're about to call your business partner? In that way?

• I don't know who to blame because I can't tell if the line or delivery is more of the culprit

• No it's the delivery, I have literally put in the audio as proof

• The audacity, I'm obsessed

• He's got it so bad

• Could've had this Genny

• Like Mr. Purity of Soul who thinks women can't possibly understand politics has absolutely never considered the concept of female pleasure, for sure has never heard of foreplay, and definitely believes the clit and g-spot are both myths

• I love Lance but proposition: there's no way that man is good in bed

• Everything else mean I've said about Lance has been out of love but I love Genny and she doesn't deserve mediocre dick

• And yet he's playing by Jordan Donica so it is also valid and understandable

• Sorry, I digress but gotta find the humor in the whole none of them get to be happy business

• But actually I really appreciate that even in this tragic narrative with big ideas and a lot of angst, they get to have fun and be fun

• Even as their relationship is about to hit its breaking point, you can still tell they're not just torturedly in love but they actually like each other so much

• "And while you're enjoying it, let me ask you this... how often do you write to her?"

• Genny is attempting to play it cool but boy is she not

• The little pause between often and write and then to her, oof

• It's so soft but like the hint is there

• The silence while Arthur makes his move on the board, ugh

• "I send a letter a week"/"Every week?"/"Yes"/"For how long?"/"Mordred's fourteen, he came to me when he was ten so four years"/"That's 208 letters"/"I have a responsibility there, I'm trying to do-"/"Do the chivalrous thing"/"Yes"

• It's so painful to hear their deliveries and realize they're having two separate conversations where they're both upset and they don't understand the other person is feeling the same

• Like Genny getting alarmed at 208 letters, Arthur getting frustrated and defensive about it and cutting Genny's last line off, and then Genny delivery of do the chivalrous thing like she's so tired

• It is so besides the point but how exactly was Arthur expecting the fucking soap opera and/or sitcom situation he's trying to create going

• Like his piece of shit kid, his ex who hates him, his wife that he loves whose feelings for him he doesn't have a handle on, and his bestie whose feelings for his wife Arthur definitely does know

• I know castles are very big but I don't think they're big enough to make that situation good for anyone

• "You've never asked me her name"/"Is it Morgan Le Fay?"/"How did you know that?"/"And she's a scientist"

• Genny has been holding this in for a whole year and she's finally ready to use it

• She says it like she's caught Arthur in some kind of lie which obviously she hasn't but I do wonder if she's had this conversation in her head enough times that she's already thinking the worst

• "He blames me for her condition. All the more reason why I want them both to be here at the castle. She needs care."

• That long pause before condition and the way he says it like maybe Arthur also blames himself

• And they're still playing chess throughout this whole thing as if they can pretend that this conversation isn't causing them both pain

• The sound of the pieces getting moved on the board while during the tense silences, yes

• And now we get to me being emotionally destroyed

• This scene is a roller coaster and the writing and acting of it is perfect in every way

• "We're more than king and queen, you and I. Don't you think?"

• He's so unsure, he's always so unsure it is torture

• The emphasis on you

• But also he does in some way recognize that she's upset about Morgan and he gets so close but spectacularly fails

• Genny is so hopeful on the "Yes, yes I do"

• Him stammering out and Genny trying one more yes to get him to come up with something

• And then that something is business partners

• In my brain I am screaming

• I have done nothing but make fun of Arthur for business partners (and friends) since I first saw this show and I will continue to do it now

• However I do think that for him, in the context of his experience being thrust into royalty, he is actually expressing a very romantic sentiment

• He meets Genny and tells her about Camelot and she doesn't think she's worthy of that

• But here he's affirming that she is, that she's his partner in this and he recognizes her worth

• They talk in the second scene and she mentions that as a princess she doesn't have friends

• And here he's telling her that they are friends, that she isn't alone

• And we see how uncomfortable Arthur is being treated as the king

• And he's trying to tell Genny that he cares for her as a person and not just the queen he traded for in a treaty

• He wants her to see him that way because if she sees him as just Arthur and not the king, then maybe he can tell her how he feels

• But also maybe it you are a man and your confession of love to a woman contains the words "I know this is an unusual thing for a man to say about a woman but" you have turned down the wrong path

• "Yes. Friends. And business partners"

• Her delivery is so ice cold, it's perfect

• The fact that she says this and even Arthur picks up on her tone and knows he fucked up

• Arthur trying to fix things and being interrupted

• His frustration with himself is so heartbreaking

• I am still screaming in my brain just louder now

• Pelli is great but also he is the cause of so many of Arthur and Genny's resentments and miscommunications, the man's a magnet for drama

• He's so funny in this scene trying to complain to Arthur and Arthur already knowing all of Mordred's bullshit

• And yelling dammit so many times in the most perfect way like me with every person who has ever annoyed me

• "Because England doesn't have a law against limericks"

• The fact that even though they're in the middle of this weird emotional mess, Arthur looks to Genny when he's talking about how Pelli's question is complicated

• His thinking buddy

• And business partner

• Also the idea that Arthur is so chill with the fact that he doesn't have the answer, that he's laying groundwork for future progress instead of assuming it will be accomplished by him

• Which is just inherently a concept I think I struggle with, that the world will not change in all the ways it should in my lifetime but the work now still has to be done

• So I like to see it

• Not going to write out another good Sorkin speech about ideas but I love this one too rest assured

• And we've had a nice little break, now we're back to chess and Arthur trying to force out something coherent and me screaming in my brain again

• I still can't get over the way they're still playing chess I'm sorry

• Genny saying "you're in check" with a different delivery every time to convey her emotional state

• The range

• Arthur just trying so hard to come up with anything again, I am personally suffering

• "What I feel-"/"I thought it was right on the money"/"Oh you do?"

• Then I think he says "oh okay" but I don't even know

• They were so close this is the worst

• Still chess

• "Do you regret being born a princess?"/"I'm confident that most people would gladly trade their problems for mine"/"But you're not talking to them right now"

• Firstly the show does an amazing job recontexualizing What Do the Simple Folk Do and everything around it so A+ for that

• But also Arthur is so empathetic in this moment

• "I know you're sad sometimes. That you miss whatever life you were searching for the night you ran from the carriage. The simple joys of maidenhood you called it. You do a good job of hiding it from the court but when you feel sad you-"/"can talk to my business partner?"/"Well I think I might be good at cheering you up"

• The delivery is so sincere

• He sees her pain and he cares so much

• He feels responsible for the life that she missed out on by marrying him

• And he wants to help

• In many ways, he is terrible at expressing his feelings but again in some small respects, he does absolutely knock it out of the park

• Even if Genny can't see it

• "If there was a tournament for cheering you up, I think I'd win"/"Oh as long as there wasn't a bird nearby"/"It wasn't just any bird, it was a white tailed eagle both times"

• The way they move from emotional conversations and annoyed miscommunications back to humor with such ease

• Arthur's bird obsession continues to be one of the best bits of characterization ever

• Genny making fun of Arthur's various words for peasants

• I love What Do the Simple Folk Do so much

• It's just perfectly constructed and the rhymes are pretty genius

• I love every single lyric

• And I love that this song gives Arthur and Genny a chance to be charming and reconnect after the second half of act 1 and the beginning of act 2 were so focused on Genny and Lance

• And then this scene has so much going on that it reminds you why they're the couple of the show

• I didn't need reminding because I'm trash for them but other people might

• All of the little jokes between the lyrics are so funny

• The delivery of "the very last thing you should have is encouragement" is so much funnier than on the cast recording

• Like what is this? So charming

• "My father used to say I sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice"

• I'm so glad this is at least on the cast recording

• She plays it so straight, it's so good

• This may be my favorite of the songs

• And the dance, they're so cute, the squeeling kills me

• I can't adequately express how much I need to find a bootleg so I can witness this again, the whole scene really but mostly this

• I cannot handle the way they say "Genny"/"Your Majesty"

• Fuuuuck

• The groan in the audience at "a letter from my mother", the pure expression of fuck Mordred

• "He's been waiting a long time."/"Yes"/"My mother was his first, you know"/"I had that sense, yes"/"They say you never fully get over your first love"

• Genny hates Mordred so much and she's right

• He's hitting her exactly where it hurts but Arthur can't even tell

• Also fascinating that Mordred can actually see the dynamic between Genny and Arthur and Lance so much more clearly than the people involved

• "You think you might possibly be spending the night?"

• Like her deliveries were getting more panicked but then this one

• Like she can't even believe what she's hearing and he doesn't even get it

• The long silence after Mordred says Lance has the queen's protection detail

• As people make mmms in the audience

• And then their last little exchange

• Ouch

• Genny telling Arthur what she herself actually needs to be told and Arthur having no clue

• "His queen's in danger"

• Mordred is the absolute worst and it's perfect

• The reprise of the Simple Joys of Maidenhood, so sad and I can't handle it

• I think this is her moment of just fully sitting in the idea that her husband doesn't love her and sees her so completely separate from that that he doesn't even understand why she's so upset to see him dash away overnight to see another woman

• And that he therefore doesn't and won't love her in the way she's singing about

• And thinking that she has the knight pining for her but it isn't enough and sets up her trying to make it enough

• She's grown so much since she first sang the song but she still can't fill the void of wanting this kind of love

• But also knowing that kind of love isn't enough

• I love her

Act 2, Scene 3: The home of Morgan Le Fey/Guenevere's Chamber/ Castle corridor - on that evening

• The into music to Morgan is gorgeous, perhaps my favorite

• It's hard to introduce an important character this late into the show and make them so memorable, even if they've been hanging over the narrative for a while now

• And still have them knock it out of the park but once again, this show is perfectly cast

• The tension of this whole scene is everything

• Morgan's laugh and then "Jesus christ it's the king of England"

• Immediately sets her up perfectly

• And we get something totally different out of Arthur

• I love their dialouge which I am once again trying not to just fully write out, I love their chemistry, I love how quickly their friendliness breaks down

• He does sound genuinely happy to see her at the beginning but as soon as he asks if she's feeling well, they start to cool

• I can't even pick specific lines because everything is such a vibe

• You feel the history and complication and the years apart where everything has changed for both of them and the way that she's the one person who knew him as just Arthur

• "I know exactly who you are"

• Like of course this one was gonna have a line reading that lends itself to multiple things but that's always good and I like it

• Genny ranting to Lance about the number of letters Arthur wrote to Morgan

• She finally gets to be pissed and Phillipa Soo plays it so well

• "Don't review my arithmetic in your head, it's 208"

• Even at her most angry, she still must make sure Lance knows she's right, very relatable

• "I questioned the king, we've all questioned the king"

• This adaptation has built in the knights discontent so well that it's believable that they've just been growing more resentful over time

• "Because one cannot legislate goodness Pellinore, which at the end of the day, is the mission of the round table"/"And what say you Sagramore?"/"Well tell me, when we're all equal will peasants live like knights or will knights live like peasants?"

• Their entire speech is amazing

• The knights growing angrier as they realize they're all on the same page

• The way that it all fits seamlessly into the story we see on the stage but there's also no denying it's about the time we're living in right now

• But again, not in a way where it feels out of nowhere or too heavy handed

• "I throw away the letters, I give away the money"

• I love the way she delivers her lines so dismissively

• I wonder how much of it is her feelings and how much of it is trying to hurt Arthur as much as he's hurt her

• "That part gets left out of the legend" I think is the first moment where Arthur gets under Morgan's skin just a bit

• Like I'm not sure what she wants/wanted from Arthur but maybe it was just that she doesn't like being erased from the story

• "What wife could possibly object?"

• I love her bitterness mounting leading up to this line and actually hearing her call herself Arthur's wife which is I don't think is something she does before

• "I admire the king's commitment to doing the right thing no matter what. That's what a man does, and god knows it should be what a king does."

• I love watching Genny justify her anger because on one level she knows it isn't fair to be angry

• That she really does admire Arthur's goodness and believes he's doing the right thing

• That it's not that he's going to see Morgan, that he wants to bring her to the castle, it's about his actions with Genny

• Or I suppose the lack of consideration of her feelings in maybe the most hurtful way where there was nothing deliberate, it just didn't even occur to him

• She's so hurt

• Everyone in this scene gets to be extremely mad and I love it

• "When he ran out of here, he didn't think it would trouble me at all. He didn't think the letters would mean anything to me. Or staying overnight. Mordred said his mother was his first true love. Business partner. He said it right in front of me as if I wouldn't mind"/"Do you?"/"No, of course not. It's just that it was the first time that it's been demonstrated to me that-"/"Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"/"Yes"

• Everything is on her face and in her voice

• She's so hurt, so angry, so tired of not being loved

• And when she says of course it doesn't bother her, when she pulls back her feelings in front of Lance

• And her delivery of yes like something clicks in her brain, probably their entire relationship is flashing in her brain and she's building up evidence that it's true

• Lance has articulated exactly what she didn't know she was feeling

• And the music under it underscores each emotion perfectly

• Again Phillipa Soo is just emotionally devastating in this scene

• But also gotta go back to "Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"

• Like right now I'm just thinking back to Arthur referring to Genny as French to Lance when they first meet and again when he asks her to tell Lance he's being invested

• While Genny in that scene and in the first scene of act 2 keeps referring to her country as England while Lance claims her as French like him

• I wonder if that distinction is one of the things that feeds into her (and Lance?) feeling like Arthur doesn't think of her as his wife

• That she's trying to keep proclaiming her loyalty and he keeps putting a border between them

• At least in her point of view

• While he's as always trying to show her that he sees and respects her as an autonomous individual and not a thing he owns

• Am I reading too far into this? Probably

• (You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now - honestly that it took me this long to make a Taylor Swift reference is a marvel)

• Anyway back to this tremendous scene

• Part of me does wonder if Lance really doesn't know how Arthur feels or if he's in denial because it's easier for him if Arthur doesn't think of Genny as his wife

• Like he does make a point to tell Arthur in the last scene that he and Genny aren't together

• He's gotta realize in this scene how Genny feels about Arthur but curious about the other way around

• Or ya know, maybe he doesn't, maybe he's just as emotionally inept as everyone else in this show

• Don't really have a point, it's just an interesting thought

• How do so many versions cut Fie on Goodness?

• Like not only is it an amazing song but also it's sort of the whole damn point

• If you cut it, the ideals of Camelot are barely even a plot, it's all love triangle

• Also just want to take a moment to appreciate how gross the lyrics to this one are

• This is for sure my favorite sequence

• The intro speech to the song is perfect

• Them just getting worked up about how England is special, it is better, that they're the ones who should be listened to

• "Don't dare question our loyalty to the king"/"A king who encourages debate"

• Again I just love the knights' conflicted feelings about Arthur

• So it's easiest to shift all the blame to Genny and Lance

• This song is so good, this cast is so good

• "That day that I became king, my cousin gave me his tutor, a man named Merlyn. And Merlyn spoke to me of a great cause that I could lead. But I would have to stay unmarried until a young princess in France came of age"/"And you left me unmarriable, a woman with a child"/"I didn't know about the child until he came and introduced himself"/"You raise your voice to me? Have I displeased you your majesty?"/"Stop calling me that"/"I know all about the French princess-"/"The queen"/"and the grand cause-"/"great cause"/"I don't give a damn"

• This is a stupid amount of text that I've typed out but I love their back and forth here

• Arthur trying to justify himself and not wanting to take responsibility and them both getting angry at each other

• Morgan and her relationship with Arthur have been changed pretty drastically to the point that she's not even the same character and I like it and her so much

• I do wonder what the intent was here because I feel like you could read a lot of different things into their dynamic

• And to what that means about Arthur

• I mean I get the sense that she's maybe always been maybe a bit of an outsider, maybe always was a little more world-weary (or maybe not, maybe getting left pregnant while he became king hardened her)

• And maybe their power dynamic has been completely flipped but also maybe Arthur still has a hard time not letting it flip back

• Because like there's no doubt for me that for whatever reason, she was the one holding the cards originally and he doesn't know how to deal with her now

• Like I don't know if she's older or Arthur was always bad at love so she would have just been the more confident person but there's something there

• She obviously has a completely different point of view than anyone else in the show which I love

• And she gets under Arthur's skin so easily

• I guess because she's the one casuality of his great cause, the one wrong he can't right

• Also "stop calling me that" is so petulant teen

• And he was that when he knew her so of course it comes out

• "You seem quick to betray the king"/"I would die before I betrayed King Arthur"/"Yet here you are"/"I can't rise above being a man, a human man. I can't transcend it no matter how hard I try"

• My favorite Lance line

• Ugh it's perfect

• He's so tortured and so good at conveying that in his delivery

• He's getting some character growth

• Genny being both not wrong but also putting it on him so she doesn't have to think about her own behavior

• "My duty is to god, King Arthur, and the round table. I can best serve all three with my absence. It's a small price for one person to pay for a greater good"

• Ooh the self-loathing hits so good

• And Genny panicking because she's about to get left for the second time tonight

• The playing of If Ever I Would Leave You

• Because he is, or he's at least trying to

• To do the right thing

• Genny and Lance speaking French together, always good even thought I can't understand shit

• "No more talking"

• And the bed just being pulled out of the scene

• I just love how the song is interspersed with these scenes, this sequence is truly brilliant and the energy of it in the theater is truly unmatched

• "All the letters that followed-"/"All the letters that followed offered me room and board along with the cash. Imagine how moved I was by the chivalry"

• Ah mocking chivalry, a family pastime

• Again, I just love the way she goes in on Arthur's attempts to do the right thing over and over

• And again I don't know if it's because he wouldn't give her what she actually wanted or pure vengence

• "Guilty and alive once more" is probably my favorite line from the song

• "Let me ask you this question and I'm entitled to the truth. If there hadn't been a cause, a great case, would you have married me? No."/"I was fifteen years old that night and the next day I was king. I was anointed by the archbishop of Canterbury in York and those men think they put me in direct contact with the divine. There was a cause."

• Clearly in her mind he was never going to marry her but we know from Pelli that when he met Arthur when he was already king, he was still very much in love with Morgan

• More than 10 years (plus then a year that's passed in story) before this could be lots of different amounts of time but it could have been up to a few years into Arthur being king which is a long while

• So the answer was probably yes

• But he doesn't say any of that because his feelings don't matter, he's too focused on justifying his cause, that it was important enough to make up for her life

• And ya know Camelot is what's important now, Camelot is what he and Genny have devoted their lives to, he can't fail

• This is the scene where I just conspiracy board Genny and Arthur's relationship

• This is fine, I'm normal about this show, that's why I wrote all of this

• Either way I think it must really bother Athur that Morgan might think he's not a good man

• We saw it with Genny and the courtesans thing too

• Like obviously part of that was being in love with her but also I think it fucks with his self-image as a person who does the right thing which is his entire life

• And Morgan's the biggest crack in that in his mind which is why he gets angry pretty much constantly in this scene

• At least that's my theory

• I love that we get see him cracking a bit under the strain of being good and trying to rise above being a human being just like everyone else in this scene

• He's got a lot more moral fortitude than the rest of the characters so it just manifests as him getting to be angry and express it to another person for once but still

• He makes excuses, he gets mad, he won't accept that Morgan's version of events is also true and he can't force her to be okay with it

• I don't know, there's something nice about narrative not saying that making the choices of the knights or Genny and Lance is inevitable, Arthur does make the right choices but he still isn't perfect here

• "And I won't live in a spare room in a castle and be the used and discarded former mistress of a king... but I will be the mother of one"

• So like how much of Mordred's plans are Mordred and how much is Morgan?

• And you know used and discarded former mistress of a king is killing Arthur

• "And he didn't"/"What?"/"Put you in direct contact with the divine"/"That is made clear to me every day"

• Morgan did a good job of pretending indifference at the beginning but the more she lays into Arthur, the more hostile things get between them, it's so clear that if the opposite of love is indifference then they haven't managed to get over loving each other

• It's just soured and rotted but won't die

• More so for Morgan because she paid the price, she couldn't move on in the way he could

• "And I wouldn't want to see your face when you realize it didn't make a difference. There'll be greed and injustice and hate and horror. You can change the stuff but people stay exactly the same. No one whose opponent was human nature has ever won a fight. Human nature responds to-"/"Inspiration"/"Fear. And that's it"

• It's so cruel but also a great illustration of the ways that they're fundamental opposites

• "I don't forget anything"

• Another extremely loaded line delivery

• (Don't make an All Too Well reference, don't make an All Too Well reference, don't)

• The panic and realization of "he's not stupid" and the music that builds to it and Morgan's laugh ugh perfect

• The intro music to I Loved You Once in Silence is gorgeous

• Lance and Genny in white feeling guilty as hell is a good visual

• So much regret

• Just instantly

• I feel like the moment they've actually acted on their feelings, they know that it's not only a mistake but also that their feelings aren't actually what they thought

• Well maybe Lance doesn't quite have it yet in this scene but he gets there

• Not to repeat what I said about the first scene in act 2 but

• My take is that they intentionally deepened Arthur and Genny's relationship and Lance's character but not Lance and Genny's relationship

• They intentionally left it shallow

• That these are two people who are missing something and the easiest way for them to get that is to frame what they have as love

• I mean for Genny it's sort of obvious, she's married to a man she's in love with but that she thinks doesn't love her

• Lance makes her feel certain about his feelings for her and that's validating

• But Lance, I feel like I have thoughts but I'm not sure

• Lance has never been forced to reckon with temptation before

• And instead of facing that in himself

• He just makes Genny part of the list of things that define him

• A goddess on earth and a god above

• Along with the table

• And he can worship them all to avoid having to figure out who he actually is

• It's not him admitting he has a human weakness, it's a grand tragic love story that he can suffer for

• And suffering, well that's what lets him cope with whatever about himself he feels is so terrible that he needs to punish himself for it

• He's so terrified to look inward, so afraid of something in himself that he just finds his identity in other people and institutions

• And he can't hide behind that anymore because he's betrayed it all, every single thing

• I feel like this makes it sound like I don't like Lance and I very much do

• He's just particularly flawed because he's the only one who doesn't start the show knowing that about himself

• They all make choices out of self-loathing and fear of unworthiness but I do think Lance thinks consciously he's above that for most of the show even if subconsciously he knows he isn't

• He's the only one of the main three to not really finish his character journey within the confines of this narrative

• Arguably he only starts right now and finally realizes he's not the man he thought he was

• Again fic potential somone???

• Well that was a tangent

• Jordan Donica's performance of I Loved You Once in Silence is so heartbreaking

• "Lance I made a mistake. I'm sorry but you're a good man and I should have been nicer to you."

• I love that, I love that she takes her responsibility (even if she's already trying to cover up what happened)

• But also it's just the clearst indication that acting on her feelings killed them

• She doesn't need to push Lance away anymore to stop herself from doing anything

• I love that Lance tries to surrender peacefully

• He's willing to take responsibility not for his noble suffering anymore but because he is a good man and he knows he's done what he's been accused of

• And he only attacks because he has to

• Mordred's evil laugh

• Lance being slightly disheveled and grabbing Mordred's sword to fight off the guards and escape

• I don't have any kind of intellectual take, this is just a personal problem for me

• My jaw was on the floor when Lance started yelling back about coming for her if he survives

• Such a tense ramp up into Guenevere

Act 2, Scene 4: The trial/The Battle

• Guenevere has such amazing lyrics

• The entire "more than love met its doom"/"came the sundown of a dream" verse destroys me

• And I love every word of added dialouge, so correct to put it on the cast recording

• I feel I must explain my love for the staging of this song some more because it is so simple and I understand that some people are not into it but I so much am

• I love the way they close off the back of the stage for I think the only time in the whole show and it becomes claustrophobic all of the sudden

• Now Arthur is stuck in this little box in front of the audience while everything falls apart for him and that's what you have to look at so there's no getting away from how devastating it is

• We just get some full force Andrew Burnap acting and I love it, I think by now it should be clear that I would

• In other versions that I've seen, there's a lot more happening and we see Genny

• And we see Arthur see her tied to the stake and Lancelot show up to rescue her

• Which I do like in theory

• But we don't really see Genny have any actual role or even seeming to have any particular feelings about what she's done or what's about to happen

• Like she's about to die and I've yet to see a version where I have any idea if she's got a single emotion about that

• Despite the name of the song, I think this show decided this scene isn't about Genny, it's about Arthur

• It's about the consequences of his laws

• It's about the beginning of his new war

• Arthur screaming "Pelli I know" like we see him start to crack

• Oh to know who told Arthur and how he took it

• "Well do something"/"She's under arrest. She's been accused of treason"/"Arthur I understand that you're angry but"/"She's been accused of breaking the law. She has to be judged"

• The delivery of that last line, ugh

• He keeps it impersonal, it isn't about what she did to him or his pain, it's about the law

• The law they lovingly crafted together

• "What a magnificent dilemma: let her die and you're a monster, let her live and you're a fraud. Which will it be? Do you kill the queen or the law?"

• Fuck

• The delivery is so good

• Mordred is having the time of his life shrieking about Arthur's pain

• The killing the queen or the law bit seems to be mostly unchanged and it's maybe the best single line from the original book

• Although it went from kill the queen and your life is over to you're a monster

• Mordred has to know Arthur is in love with Genny, right?

• Maybe he just can't imagine Arthur could love a person more than he loves his ideals which I guess would make sense given Morgan and Arthur's relationship

• Arthur drawing his sword on Mordred!!!

• "Ooh careful your majesty, you wouldn't want to be barbaric"

• The fact that Mordred thinks that's going to work, that he can continue to poke at Arthur and he won't respond, he really does believe in Arthur's goodness doesn't he?

• "You are exiled from this court. Return and I will show you what barbaric looks like"

• Arthur screaming at Mordred with his hand around his throat is so intense

• It's so good

• Another gasp out loud in the theater moment

• Arthur is fully unraveling and I'm obsessed

• "I know my way out"

• It's such a teenage delivery and like Mordred is just a kid who feels abandoned by his father

• And as much as this is a tragedy for the three main characters, it's no less a tragedy for Mordred

• Aging down Mordred, also a great choice

• And again, just another stellar performance

• Every single person in this cast just knocked it out of the park in a way I never could have anticipated

• "Arthur please, I'm an old man and I know I'm ridiculous but for the love of god, it's Genny. She made a mistake, she knows that."

• I love that Pelli loves her too

• That he isn't judging her

• "She broke the law Pellinore. A law signed by the king. So say the people"

• He starts trying to be calm but then the fact that it's his law brings up the anger and then he breaks on so say the people

• He's written his own destruction

• And empowered others to take the decision out of his hands

• I love the dialouge in this scene so damn much

• "Neither you nor I nor god himself can stop this terrible thing that's been put in motion"/"What are you waiting for?"/"I'm waiting for what's inevitably coming next"

• The delivery of coming next...

• Like obviously he wants Lance to save Genny but he knows that no matter what

• No matter if she lives or dies, peace is over and the round table has been destroyed

• And he needs to prepare

• Also the way he frames what's happening

• It's not what Genny and Lance or even Mordred caused

• It's just what's been set into motion by all these tiny and giant choices throughout the show that have bubbled over into the death of Camelot

• "That's Lancelot du Lac out there and he's brought a battalion. Double the guard, triple the guard, those guards are going to die tonight"

• How many times can I just copy a bunch of text and write the delivery

• Because yup

• The lack of hope from Arthur is chilling

• Arthur getting dragged back into the war he worked so hard to end

• Just every line delivery in this scene is perfect

• Every lyric of the song

• Every acting choice

• And I love to see it visually

• Preparing for war isn't an exciting spectacle, it's tragic

Act 2, Scene 5: Outside Joyous Gard - on the eve of war

• The way they fade in on the eve of war just broke my heart every time

• I would love to know how much communication there was between Arthur and Lance and how

• Like how much of a role did Arthur play in the whole Genny not getting burned business?

• And the fact that his first question is whether they've been injured

• Even after everything, he's a good man who cares

• And Genny and Lance too, being willing to come back and die

• They're all good people who made mistakes but still good people

• "I assure you, if I thought it would end all this, I would light the fire myself"

• Absolutely brutal but like after he lays out all the death and rebellion that have already happened I guess brutal is fair

• Ya know, if I thought he meant it even a little

• "Lance, come morning some of your countrymen are going to be at the end of my sword. It's not personal, it's just my job. Stay safe Lance."/"I can't do that. And neither can you. Godspeed your majesty."

• I just love the idea of Lance and Arthur as these two people who love each other spearheading this war neither of them believe in

• It's so tragic

• Their goodbye is so understated which for Lance is like truly a great bit of contrast

• They've had enough big declarations, these few sentences just distill everything perfectly

• And then we come to Genny and Arthur, fuck fuck fuck

• The first time I saw this I spent like all of intermission and act 2 with a loop in my brain of but they love each other, right?

• I am unrepentant trash for them in this version as though that wasn't abundantly clear

• And Aaron Sorkin delivered for me so hard in this scene

• "Please let me die, Arthur"

• The pause before his name

• And now we get to the part where I start to get like teary-eyed in the theater

• "Two very powerful men did this to you... not Mordred and Lance, your father and me"

• That long pause before and me

• I love his whole speech, I almost typed it all out

• And they allow so much silence during it

• And the way he's like trying to hold it together but he can't by the end

• "You were treated like a queen but you were my hostage Genny, what the hell did we think was going to happen?"

• That he recognizes and actually admits the ways that his choices have harmed Genny, the unfairness in the entire situation he's put her through

• That he can see even through his own hurt and the enormity of what has been set into motion, his own responsibility for what's happened

• Like he's not right but he's also not wrong

• "And for it's worth, I've been in love with you this whole time"

• Not even looking at her so we have to see it instead ugh

• And then watch that long silence while Genny just like rearranges her entire view of their relationship

• "For what it's worth? Did you just say for what it's worth?"/"Well I thought maybe you'd like to know that. But I wasn't sure."

• Just smashing my heart into tiny little pieces

• After everything they've been to each other, after all they built together, he still doesn't even know if his feelings will matter to her

• While Genny is getting ready to lose her mind after for what it's worth

• They're so absolutely emotionally inept

• "You weren't sure? Why didn't you ever tell me before?"/"It doesn't matter"/"Why?"/"How could I? I'm the king of England. You'd have been forced to pretend you felt the same way"

• Again they are delivering lines in a way that is continuing to smash the little pieces of my heart into complete dust

• Like Arthur is again not wrong but not right

• His life is so lonely because of this crown he didn't want and his desire to actually be responsible with that power

• And even now he tries to get out of explaining that to her

• I love him so much is the problem

• And then her mmm like all the pieces are coming together in her brain that they've both been suffering for nothing and she is pissed

• I love her so much which is also the problem

• Incidentally, both of these things are also their problem so very relatable

• "Out of curiousity, if I had told you, what would you have said?"/"That I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment you spoke, from the moment you sang me that stupid song about the weather"/"It's not about the weather it's a metaphor"/"I know it's a metaphor"

• The way Genny overlaps him asking, she can't even wait for him to finish

• The way she says stupid song

• The way that she's like, I did fall in love with you over that song but also I still hate it and think it's dumb

• She says it with such contempt

• Icon

• Even standing before the wreckage of their lives, they still can't stop bickering about the song, I'm obsessed

• "I prayed every night that one day you would see me the way I saw you. And then you told me I was your business partner. Yes I was and I am in love with you"/"Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse"

• She prayed every night???

• For two years???

• That he would return her feelings???

• Fuck

• Like I don't know if I can convey how much them being in love with each other and thinking it's unrequited for two whole years ping pongs around my brain and just lights up all the synapses

• "Do you really think 10,000 people loosened that sword for me?"/"I do"/"So do I. That's a nice thought isn't it?"

• It is a nice thought

• I love the philosophy of this show, I love that there's no convoluted Arthur is actually the son of the last king so he was destined to be special

• These are just two people who though birth or circumstance ended up in this position of power and chose to do good with it

• Genny begging for just a little more time like the only reason I kept anything together was being in a theater but if feel confident that if I ever get my hands on footage of this show, I would have already been sobbing by this point

• "They won't let me let Lance save you twice so you have to go Princess Guenevere"

• Hearing him call her by her name is so deeply distressing

• Literally not once before in the show does it happen and it hurts

• And then they're playing Before I Gaze at You Again what an amazing choice

• Turning a love song she sang about Lance into this romantic moment for her and Arthur because theirs was the love story the whole time like brilliant

• That they chose the show's first love song and brought it back for Genny and Arthur being unable to leave each other without that hug and that kiss

• Like this song that is originally about the pain of unfulfilled love for the wrong person and then flipping it to the pain of fulfilled love with the right one

• I am so not okay

• Also people did very loudly applaud at closing when they kissed and I was so glad because truly in my head I was doing it every time

• "I love you"/"I love you too"/"God save the king"

• I mean these are some good last words to say to each other, I'll give them that

• The thing about the original version of the musical is that the ending was already a perfect concept

• Here it just feels more meaningful because they lay that groundwork about inspiring the next generation throughout

• Tom trying to con Arthur about his age is very funny

• This kid is so good and adorable

• "You're speaking to a king"/"I'm twelve years old"

• Like his comedic delivery, very impressive

• "And when did you decide upon this nonexistent career?"

• We get a solid 60 seconds of cynical Arthur and that's about it

• The entire concept of this kid being inspired by the stories of Camelot is just deeply moving and beautiful

• And just the entirety of Andrew Burnap's performance of that realization hitting Arthur

• I love a story that's about the power of stories

• People also applauded at the last show when Arthur says the stories were all true which I also just deeply love

• Arthur's I know exactly how you feel when Tom says he's not ready to be a knight and putting his arm around him, so cute

• "And you will return to your home alive"

• The way he says alive

• Like I think Arthur knows that he's not making it out of this

• Even if he would manage to survive the battle and Mordred, he knows his time is done

• But the the future is still there

• And there is about to be so much death

• Some of it from his sword or his orders

• And the rest of it of his men

• But at least this kid, he's going to live

• The reprise of Camelot... I just love it so much

• "I've won my battle, here's my victory"

• Not a new line but just such a gorgeous one

• The entire idea of the story of Camelot as a tragedy but a hopeful one just gets me

• It's such a beautiful conclusion that this version sets up so so well

• I love that we end on a speech again, just like act 1

• Also that last bit of music as they walk off, stunning

• I have attempted to track down as many older productions of this show as I can including the movie which was good but I am biased and I do sort of think Sorkin and Bartlett Sher and the actors and everyone else involved had the more interesting take on the themes and characters

• A Broadway musical is best when it has simple but impactful themes and big emotions

• And that's exactly what this version gave us

• The highest compliment I can give this show is that not only have I not stopped thinking about it, not only did I tell everyone I know to see it, not only did I want to see the show again (and again and...), but it also just made me feel inspired to see more theater in a way I haven't in a serious while

• I just love this show so much and I'm so glad there are some people here who can't get over it either

• This is what I have to offer, the longest possible unhinged rant and bad quality closing audio, that is all

#it is bad that i wrote all of this #but it's worse that I had to learn I vomited out more words than tumblr even allows #this is what Camelot has done to me #this and made me see just so much more theater than I have ever #still riding the high of watching this cast live apparently #This Barbie can't shut up about Camelot #maybe three is enough unhinged long rants about this show #I wouldn't put money on it but we can all hope #I think the only thing that can sate my soul is a proshot #or sate my soul like 50% with a bootleg #and 50% by casting everyone in this show in good new stuff #preferably produced by my friend's boss so I can maybe get a free ticket #I'm waiting for the most crucial moment to be that annoying friend who asks for a perk #Camelot Musical #the freedom I feel having this note off my phone though

[idiots-at-sonobeno-high]

SARAAAA SARAAAAA HELLOOOOOO! Do you like cats??

"Oh, hello!!" Sara grins, waving her hand. She seems pretty excited by the question, as shown by the way he taps his foot on the ground. "Cats, huh? Yeah, I really like them! They're really cute, and..."

The ginger shakes her head, laughing a little. "Oh, I'm really underselling it a bit. I love cats, I've always wanted one as a pet. They're so adorable! I would love to have a little fluffball just... walking around the house. My mom's allergic to cat hair, though, so I won't be getting one until I inevitably move out, unfortunately."

Sara leans back in the seat a little, letting themself relax a bit as they rambled. "She did let me keep this one cat temporarily, though! Just until we could find his owner. His name was Kuro... Really adorable guy, mostly hung out in my room. Sometimes he'd sneak out and go into my parents room, and no one would know until we heard my mother sneezing, haha... She's really sweet for letting me shelter the cat until we found his owners. Of course, my dad had to give me permission too, which was significantly harder to get, but...! That's not the point," xe laughs, rubbing her hands together.

"I will say, I did feel a little sad when one of my classmates showed up, looking for their cat. I think Kuro and I really bonded, but he seemed happy to go back home... I guess that's fair. It's back to no pets until I can afford to take care of one myself, though! In the meantime, this cat keychain Joe got for me will do." He smiles, fishing the soft, grey item out of her pocket. She holds it between her two fingers for a moment, staring at it as if they're once again only seeing it for the first time. Eventually, they look back up.

"Cute, right? Apparently, he won it at the arcade in our town... the same one Ryoko got the dog keychain! I guess that explains the similarities, huh?" She giggles, a warm smile on her face. "I've gotta find some bunny keychain for her at some point... She really likes them, haha."

"Oh! I'm talking too much now, aren't I?" Sara notes, pulling the keychain away from his face. She quickly stuffs it back into their breast pocket, tucking it neatly so it stuck out in a similar fashion to the brunet's. "Sorry, I just... get like that when it comes to cats. They're really cool, what can I say? Hmm... Do you have a cat? I'd love to hear about them!!"

#[ ooc: i'm never using a manga scene for a visual ever again they're. so annoying to edit. BUT YEAAA CATS!! ] #pidgeon-peas #sara chidouin #sara answers! #sonobeno asks! #acci writes.

[avatarofacedia]

The Elephant Crushing Me

I can't tell you I am sorry. To be so, I would need to give you a promise. That I cannot do. I have held on years too long. The number of attempts and the half-baked self-destructive foils has left me shambled at my own hand. I don't want to hurt you. That's the only reason I have made it this long.

Now... In all honesty, I don't know if I really love you. I assume that I do. Why else would I care so much? What else would be preventing me from what I desire most? I know I do not have a healthy life- I don't have a model of what love really is. I know you love me, but love over a phone leaves much to be lost. I’m not so sure what love really is, so I cannot say for certain if I do or not. I feel like a liar either way.

...

I have been hurt over Daniel. So much more than I would ever care to admit. I know you don't remember, but I stopped talking to you for three months after finding out he was calling me "it." I've been so confused since then. I felt so betrayed. And I never want to sway you into a way of thinking. I'm always so careful with how I say things because I want you to be able to have your own opinions. Maybe I tried protecting you too much; held you far too close. I could never tell you this. I feel like I lost you then. And life has been so much worse ever since. I haven't been able to find stable ground.

I feel it is best to never face you again. I don't know how I could ever bear to. Even the image of you in my head is tainted. I have lost all direction. Colorado is no longer a dream. I don't know how this will ever be mended. If it even could.

Each day weighs so much more than it ever has. I lost much of myself that day. I hoped you'd break up with him. When you did, I was so hopeful. I held back so much because I wanted you to be able to choose. I want so much for you. Every bone in my body wanted to gaslight you. Every time you ask about him, I have to avoid it. I hate him. Truly. Deeply. And I hate even more that you're with him.

Marrying him broke the barrier. I could no longer hide from the reality that I lost that part in me that valued you so much. The disrespect he showed meant so little. I don't know. It was my fault for relying on you so much. I'm sorry. I won't do that again. I guess that's why I'm here writing a bloody blog instead of a suicide note.

I still care about you deeply. I wish you the best in the world. More than what I could ever give to you.

I know this will not be held over well. I cannot ask you not to be sad. All I can ask is you do not let any grievance prevent you from living. Take all you deserve. And then some because I know you will undersell yourself.

#letter to a friend #getting this off my chest #never the same #silent letters #i feel betrayed #betrayal #you betrayed me #i've been betrayed #when i said you are the company you keep you went quiet. is it because you knew i was hinting at you? in that moment did you feel guilty? #did you ever think about me #how it would hurt? #i never wanted to hurt you #i have lived through all this pain so i wouldn't hurt you #i loved you #i guess im a hypocrite

[clacing]

What's your opinion on Karen/Hikari and Mahiru/Karen/Hikari ?

Karen and Hikari are all I think about these days so I'm sorry anon but you just opened the floodgates

I need to stress that I went into the show pretty much entirely blind and I had no idea Karen and Hikari were characters at all, much less that they were the main characters and main ship. Going off the fandom I seriously thought Nana was the main character and that Maya and Claudine were the main ship. (Un)fortunately all you need to do to get me to ship something is to give me childhood best friends reuniting after being separated for years and having a fuckton of angst between them so uhhhh let's say I was invested right away and only got more and more invested as the series went on and right now I feel like exploding 'cause I expected there to be a lot of fandom content about them but there's only like. 10 posts total which I already reblogged. The Revstar AO3 tag has 2k+ fics and only 116 or so are about Hikaren. They're the least popular ship despite being the main one and I. don't get it. Where is the art where is the meta where are the rambling posts I am alone with my thoughts and I hate it

I guess the one thing I will say about them is that they feel pretty. Derivative. I don’t really know how to explain it but it’s like someone scoured my brain for everything I like in fictional ships and then just built upon that without really adding anything new, so it doesn’t feel like it has its own unique character or like there's anything it does better than other ships.

But still they hit especially hard for me because watching them felt like watching scenes out of my own life (which I realize now is also what Karen and Hikari felt watching Starlight, so there are Levels there). What got me curled up in a ball though was Hikari telling Karen that she was leaving because Karen was becoming too dependent on her (which she was) when actually it was Hikari who was scared she’d grow to live in Karen’s shadow if she stayed and that’s why!!! That’s why!!! The end of the anime means so much to me!! Because Karen took this system where only one person could stand at the top, took this tragic story that inevitably ended in parting, and changed it so she and Hikari could be together. That’s incredibly powerful and ngl I am just a bit upset at how much the movie walked it back.

I absolutely adore the movie. I think it’s a genuine cinematic masterpiece that everyone should watch. But I am slightly slightly miffed that the ending it gave Karen and Hikari feels almost entirely antithetical to the one they got in the series. The series said “Our story doesn’t have to end in parting” and the movie went “jk it totally does”. The series said “Us being together makes us stronger, and it’s what saved us” and the movie said “Actually you need to let go of all your bonds if you want to be successful, which is the only thing that matters”. And believe me I know I’m underselling it and it’s more nuanced than that but at the end of the day it did feel very bittersweet to me.

I understand that so much of Revue Starlight is about letting go and moving on and most of the time it did make sense - Futaba and Kaoruko breaking up was very much needed, Junna and Nana needed to go their separate ways for both of their sakes (but especially because Nana had to face her fear of change at some point), Maya and Claudine are. Well they’re physically in different countries now but their lives are very much tied together forever. But Karen and Hikari have already been apart all their lives, so I don’t get the point in separating them again. “They need to learn to be without each other” They already did!! For twelve years!!! And being with each other again made them better!! Hikari regained her lost brilliance and was saved from her own personal hell, Karen found her motivation again. The idea that all that is just a slippery slope to becoming too reliant on each other and dying as stage girls so that they can never really be together for too long is just. kind of upsetting? Given the note the anime ended up on?

I also despise that Karen is made out to be “obsessed” with Hikari because she fell apart while Hikari was gone but like. Hikari keeps leaving her with little to no explanation for months to sometimes YEARS at a time. Obviously Karen can’t stop being a stage girl just because Hikari isn’t there but also I??? can’t really blame her for having abandonment issues?? She found her best friend again after twelve years and fought the narrative to be able to keep her and then Hikari just dipped the moment they were done with Starlight. Of course Karen didn’t just roll with the punches and move on with her life. That’s not being obsessed that is a normal human reaction 😭

I could rant about my problems with the movie forever but the bottom line is their separation scene was done way too well so I can’t even be mad at it. Like ideologically I disagree with it but they just had to make it the most fucking insane scene I have ever watched. Everything from the direction to the music to the symbolism to the animation and voice acting just goes way too hard. “It’s Hikari [the light] that burns your eyes”?? The little choir that starts when Karen erupts into Position Zeros as Tokyo Tower breaks in half?? I am not the same person I was before. I will forgive them anything for this one scene

Okay FINALLY getting to Mahiru/Karen/Hikari: I really like their trio dynamic but I don’t ship it romantically, and yes some of it is out of spite lmao ‘cause there’s already so little Hikaren content and sometimes I’ll scroll down, find something that seems to be Hikaren fanart, only to then see that Mahiru is also there for some reason. And I mean no offense, the art is great and everyone is free to ship what they want, it just gets frustrating at times. But yeah I just think it’s clear that Karen doesn’t like Mahiru back and that she only has eyes for Hikari. I do like the idea of Mahiru and Hikari though ‘cause the few interactions they’ve had were so fun. Imagine being Mahiru and just chilling with the girl you have a crush on and one day her childhood best friend who she’s clearly in love with turns up after twelve years and decides she’s going to move in with you two. She also keeps catching you pining for your crush and trolling you about it. I would have ended it right there. But Mahiru does grow to enjoy Hikari’s company a lot and she seems supportive of her and Karen so I’m glad! I think Mahiru deserves happiness I’m just on the fence about it being with Karen and/or Hikari

#the way it took me two full days to type all this up lmao #also to be clear i'm like. only jokingly angry about most of these things #and i know i'm misconstruing some stuff i'm still in the bargaining stage

[hotcoffeetransformation]

Jason swore loudly and had to resist the urge to throw his controller down, pissed that he kept dying cause of the game's stupid glitches (Also known as own mistakes). Still, he regained his composure, and smiled before saying

"Alright chat, we're gonna finish up this one and then we're gonna move on to another game. There should be a poll on top for what we do next"

Jason was a moderately successfully game streamer, averaging about 200 to 300 viewers a night, entirely based on his wit and skill. He knew for sure that they weren't coming for his looks, given his weedy, thin frame, overly pimpled face and large, nerdy glasses. Still, it was enough for him, and he was happy with the progress that he'd made.

As Jason got himself set up for the next game, he heard a shocking sound from above him. The victory theme from one of his favorite JRPGs was blaring through the speakers, and he came up, staring at the screen in shock. He knew what that sound meant. That meant someone had tipped him one thousand dollars, completely out of nowhere.

He looked in shock at the notification on the stream, seeing that it was from someone named JockBro69, with the simple message "Can't wait to get to know you better, cutie~"

Jason was completely stunned. Not only had someone actually redeemed the donation goal that he set as a joke (That being that whoever was stupid enough to tip 1000 dollars got to have a 15 minute private chat with him), it was also someone that he'd never seen in his chat before.

Thoroughly weirded out, but knowing that he had to honor his commitment, he sent the guy a quick private message.

"Dude, I don't know how to thank you enough! Guess I'll see ya pretty soon!"

With that, he sent the man his private zoom link, and said goodbye to the chat, who were still going wild over this turn of events, before pausing,the stream and hopping over to discord for the call.

Not two seconds after his stream stopped, he got a requested video call on discord from the guy, and he opened it up, giving a second for the video to load, but when it did, he was completely dumbfounded again. He was expecting the mysterious donator to be some fat, sweaty silicon valley nerd with too much and money on his hands, but instead what met him was possibly the hottest man he's ever seen, standing up and looking down at his webcam with a friendly expression.

"Fuck, bro! Its so good to finally fucking meet you, I've been such a big fan for a long time, and this is a really big deal for me~

The man had a deep, rumbling, pleasant voice, that shot straight down Jacob's spine and left him feeling strangely... inadequate. Like the fact that his voice wasn't as smooth or melodic as this guy's was his fault, and he should be ashamed of that fact. Still, this guy was pretty pleasant to look at, Jason had to admit. He wasn't gay, definitely not, but he could acknowledge when another guy simply looked good.

Jason scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, not entirely sure of what he should do or say. Still, this guy spent 1000 dollars on this meeting, so he had to try anyway.

"So, umm.... I see your username is jockbro69... What's your actual name thought? I don't think I've ever seen you in chat before..."

The other man actually laughed at this, before looking confused and saying

"What are you talking about bro? Its me, Ethan! I'm in your chat all the time! Man, I guess what they say about playing games so much is true, huh?"

At this statement, Jason actually went pale with shock. THIS was Ethan? This was the guy who's username used to be runningLink? Who was an active fan of the zelda series, constantly begged Jason to play them, and bemoaned the fact that no would date him? It just didn't seem right...

Still, Jason, ever the semi professional, continued on, pretending that he wasn't shocked at the news.

"Well, thanks for supporting me so much! Seriously, this means a lot to me... Ummm... so I guess tell me some of your favorite things about the channel then!"

The man laughed again, the sound coming out in a slow, dumb chuckle, before saying

"What's my favorite thing? Do I even have to say, bro? Its the amazing piece of eye candy I'm looking at right now. You're super hot, bro~"

At this, Jason was shocked, but he chuckled awkwardly while blushing, and said

"Really? I don't think I've ever heard a single person say that before. I guess I consider myself slightly below average..."

The guy looked confused at that, before pressing on

"Really, bro? You look super hot to me, you got those bright, blinding blue eyes that you can just get lost in~"

At this point, Jason knew the man was just messing with him. His eyes have always, and will always be a dark, muddy brown, hidden behind his massive frames. Jason was about to respond, when Ethan continued

"Yeah, and you got that super stylish haircut too, really makes you look super masculine~"

Now Jason was REALLY confused. The guy was right, he did always get complements on his eyes, the bright, shocking blue visible and striking even through his huge glasses. But his hair was always a long, unkempt greasy mess.

"Ethan, are you sure you're okay, you're not just seeing things? Cause I don't know what you're talking about"

Ethan ignored the comment, just continuing to press on

"And you've got that hot, manly face, with your strong jaw and amazing profile"

Jason was confused again. Sure, his stylish haircut did help him look much better, but his face had always been pretty androgynous, with hints of baby fat still present in his cheeks. Again, before he could interrupt, Ethan continued,

"And you've got that smooth smooth skin, that hot stubble, that sexy smirk of yours. You're the full package bro~"

Jason laughed at this. Ethan was clearly being way too complementary. Sure his face had a great shape to it, with strong cheekbones and a square jaw, but his skin was still acne marked as hell, his smile was crooked and awkward, and he'd never been able to grow any facial hair, no matter how much he tried.

"I really have no idea what you're talking about Ethan. Sure I've got some good features, but the overall package isn't much to write home about~"

Ethan smirked again, his eyes lighting up with humor, as if he knew something I didn't.

"Nah, bro, you're underselling yourself. Plus, you've got that body~"

"What about my body? I think its pretty average, though I guess I'm a bit on the skinny side..."

Jason looked down at himself, trying to contemplate what Ethan meant. Sure, he'd been blessed with an attractive, manly face, but it didn't change the fact that his body was still below average at best.

"Again, bro! Putting yourself down. You really think those massive logs you have for arms are below average?"

Jason looked down at his skinny arms, and said

"More like logs than twigs man, seriously."

"And what about your legs? You've spent so long working on em, you've got thighs and glutes to kill for~"

Jason laughed again

"I dunno man! Most people say the exact opposite. They say I spend too much time on arms and not enough on my torso and legs. What can I say though? I love having big, beefy arms."

"Of course you do, bro? Who wouldn't? Especially when right in between em, you got your big, pillowy chest, your sexy abs, and your super toned back~"

Jason was seriously starting to wonder if Ethan was on something. Anyone could clearly see from first glance that Jason's body was badly proportioned, his arms and legs being massive from months to years of work, while he neglected his back, pecs and ab muscles. Still, he thought he looked pretty alright honestly.

"And I especially love how you're not only super sexy, you know it and flaunt it~ I don't think I've ever seen you once wear a shirt. The most you'll wear is a necklace, and even then, not like that covers anything, bro~ Only makes you look sexier"

Now here Jason had to disagree. He knew that he had cultivated and developed an amazing body over his years of going to the gym, but that was all for his own personal satisfaction. He never flaunted it unnecessarily, especially not during a stream.

"And I love the fact that you're such a fucking bro, bro. Every other word out of your mouth is bro and dude, you can't go even five minutes without flexing and thinking of fucking, or going to the gym, or hanging out with your other hot bros. We all know that your brain is basically only good for working out and looking hot. No smart's up there. And you've got your deep, sexy voice, too. Makes it even hotter that you're a gay bro, just like me"

Jason HAD to laugh at that. What the guy was saying was just so ridiculous.

"What the hell are you talking about? Look, I know that I like to show off my sexy body a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm some kind of dumb jock. And I'm definitely straight, dude. Don't know why you'd think I'm gay"

Ethan pressed on, completely unabashed by Jason's last comments.

"But you know the best fucking part, bro? Its that power of yours. The fact that any weak ass nerd who looks at you and your huge fucking muscles grows into a hot, dumb bro like us within seconds~"

Jason was busy flexing, staring at his own bicep in awe, as if he was shocked by him impressive he was. He looked up at Ethan blearily, saying

"Sorry, bro, what'd you say? I guess I got a bit fucking distracted. Huhuhu. But who could blame me~"

"Nah, it was nothing bro. You don't need to worry about it. Now should head back to the stream?"

Jason gasped in excitement, having forgotten entirely about the fact that there was a whole stream audience full of lame ass nerds, just ready for him to make as sexy as he and Ethan were.

"You got it bro~ This is gonna be so fucking hot~"

Jason left the call, going back to the stream and restarting, glad to see that a full 300 people were still watching, even through the extended break. The second he turned his camera on, he could see that people were confused for some reason, saying a stranger broke into his house. How stupid could these people be? How did they not recognize him? Still, not like it would matter for long...

"Hey bros! How're we all fucking doing? Welcomes to today's stream..."

He trailed off, looking blankly at the camera, before saying

"You know what? Fuck video games! Who needs them when you can do this~"

And as his pecs bounced and bounced hypnotically, the chat slowly transitioned from messages like "What the fuck is happening?" or "Who is this dumb jock?" to "Fuck, bro! Your pecs look so fucking hot today!" and "Huhuhu, I love making my pecs bounce like Jace's~"

And so the stream continued, Jace showing everyone all the amazing things his body could do, while anyone that was watching, whether they wanted to or not, began to copy him exactly. And as the stream went on, the viewer count rose, and rose, and rose...

#musclegrowth #straight to gay #jockification #himbo tf #jock #muscle

[curiousconch]

Chase You / Chase Me (Pt. 2)

Part 2: Before I dive right into you

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: In the aftermath of their pretend wedding in Las Vegas, Gabe begins to unravel his growing feelings for Alex. But as he attempts to bring his past to light, someone from Alex's previous life casts a shadow on the future.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 2.4k+ (sorry 🙈)

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / alcohol consumption, some swears

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

A little after 1 AM, Las Vegas

Gabe can't help but smirk at the look of mischief in Alex's eyes as they stood by a quiet spot in the middle of Las Vegas. With her in that glittery dress, he somehow can't bring himself to part from her yet.

He knew it wasn't only him who felt that tingling in his fingertips when he brushed her cheeks, her breath smelling strongly of martini. He was very aware that Alex felt the same when she stared back at him, standing at that cramped cheap chapel while an Elvis impersonator stood nearby. The moment she stepped away when he said that it's just all pretend made Gabe's heart ache with regret.

So here they were, standing awkwardly after he shot down her advances again.

But he was sure he didn't want the night to end here.

After calling for a car, he shoved his phone inside the pocket of his slacks and turned to Alex.

"I was serious when I said I wanted a celebratory drink," he glanced apologetically to his side where she stood. "Our hotel bar offers my favorite scotch."

Alex raised her head, smiling. "Knew you had it in you, Gabe."

A car ride and a couple of glasses of Lagavulin later, there they were, lounging on stools at their opulent hotel bar, warm lights and jazz music providing a backdrop on the casual atmosphere.

"And I could not believe the rat thing worked! Who would've known they kept a rat in there as a pet? Like really?" Alex raised her glass to her lips, as Gabe sat on the barstool beside her, cradling his own drink.

"Beginner's luck, I would believe," he chuckled in reply, leaning forward, tie loosened and his coat hanging at the back of his chair.

"I am so offended," Alex gasped as she shoved her hands flat on her chest in mock disbelief. "I'm not only the boring nerd when I was in high school, Gabe. I was that nerd who sang and dance at the drama club!"

Gabe shook his head, his lips pursing. "That makes so much damn sense, Alex." He took another swig of his third shot, fighting for dear life from laughing his heart out. Not wanting to give her that satisfaction, he threw a sarcastic dig at her remark. "That's so believable, seeing you could snatch an Oscar from Meryl Streep herself and the no one wouldn't even bat an eye."

"Ah, law was plan A, sir." she saluted, placing her empty glass on the bar counter. "Acting was a fallback in case it didn't pan out." she giggled.

Gabe grinned as he rolled up his sleeves, beckoning the bartender for another round. "You should have made it your plan A, seeing how you turned out," he teased, bringing up the fun bit they did to retrieve a copy of Lydia Rothswell's marriage certificate. The very same act that almost made Gabe kiss Alex in the middle of The Strip.

"Aww, Gabe, finally found a better lawyer than you? Feeling threatened yet?" Alex leaned in, snickering as their glasses were refilled. "Don't worry, I' ll settle for being a Junior Partner for now," she said as she reclined, before throwing in a playful wink.

"Well someone's head just became bigger," he gave her a smug look.

"Just trying to keep up with all the cockiness in the room," she smiled coyly, watching Gabe's stupefied expression. It was clear then that she scored a slam dunk at the championship of comebacks, laughing at his astonishment.

Gabe finally gave up, joining Alex in her laughter. As their joy receded, he let himself take in the sight of Alex without any inhibitions. What he was beginning to see was the extent of her wit, her ability to keep her cool, and the sharp humor that matched only his.

Under the warm light of the lounge, she brilliantly shone. He couldn't focus at what she was now saying as he danced at the appeal of them becoming more than colleagues. Perhaps he resisted his own feelings long enough that he was past the point of denial. Or simply because he was starting to get drunk.

Though before he can even begin to consider that, he was still sober enough to know that he first needed to tell her the truth.

The truth that sometime long ago, their paths have already crossed. And that he did something very horrible.

Call him cynical, but he wasn't kidding when he admitted he was an all-or-nothing kind of guy. And that meant laying down all his cards on the table. Because for him, Alex was more than the occasional one-night stand. And he can't be certain of how long he could keep himself from his budding feelings, all stakes be damned.

What better time to be honest when there was enough alcohol in his system to prevent all rational thinking? It's now or never, he figured.

"Alex, I -"

"Alessandra? Alessandra Keating?" a deep voice came from behind him, interrupting Gabe. He cocked his head to get a clearer view, as a man with slicked back blonde hair approached from a private booth nearby.

Without hesitation, the tall stranger in the dark suit stepped forward, his striking features Gabe would have easily recognized anywhere. That face was almost in every blockbuster movie in the last five years.

"Julian? What are you doing here?" Alex asked, as abashed as he was. Gabe saw how she clammed up the very second she recognized the man.

"Oh my, it really is you!" the man stopped beside Alex's bar stool, welcoming himself to their company. The way he was looking up and down at her made Gabe's jaw clench so hard, his teeth gritted. But the man's next movement stunned him all the more. In front of him, the man embraced Alex, making Gabe suddenly want to combust. His tumbler could've shattered if he tightened his grip on it a little more.

"Uhm, Julian, hi," Gabe surveyed Alex as she writhed within the man's arms, waiting for any signal from her so he could do something, anything, to make this man go away. But she assured him with one look, shifting a little, making the man who wedged himself between them release her.

"It's been so long! When was the last time I saw you, like, 12, 13 years ago?" the man exclaimed, his annoying smile making Gabe want to slam his fist somewhere. And it wasn't on the bar counter.

Gabe heard Alex scoff, fighting hard to regain her composure. "Yeah, high school," Her icy demeanor took over, one that Gabe only saw in the courtroom. She brushed her dress as she tilted her head to Gabe's direction.

The man turned to Gabe, the surprise evident as he acknowledged Gabe's presence behind him. The two men sized each other up sending an undercurrent of tension between them. Before Gabe could even consider acting out of impulse, Alex cleared her throat to diffuse his temper.

"Julian, this is Gabe. Gabe, this is Julian, my -"

"Ex," Julian interjected, before turning his attention to the lawyer. Apparently, this guy had a habit, Gabe observed. "We were together senior year. Alessandra, my angel, we had the best time together, didn't we? We looked good together, at least after Alex thought to improve her image here. Sadly, we had to break up. Teenage romances, you know?"

The picture couldn't be any clearer; this was the person Alex was speaking about during their dinner back in New York. And hearing the way he talked, no wonder Julian got under her skin. He was a damned manipulative pretentious liar. Gabe could hear the dishonesty between the words, not an ounce of authenticity in sight while the blonde hotshot rambled on.

Alex wasn't showing any sympathy either, her brown eyes staring daggers at him, as he went on about his monologue, emphasizing on how she was his back then. She was clearly infuriated by his attempt to own her, as well as his lack of shame. As Gabe quietly considered her reaction, he deliberated on a strategy to put her out her misery. The moment an idea came to mind, he gave Alex a subtle look asking her to back his play.

Alex nodded, sitting a little straighter. Finding the instant shift in her, Gabe made his move.

"Sweetheart," he slowly raised his voice as he said the endearment, enjoying the contempt from the other guy when he was interrupted. "You never told me Julian Wintour was your ex."

Alex smiled smugly, appearing pleased with the nickname Gabe chose, a clear pun on the whole high school sweetheart trope. "Never crossed my mind, babe. It's such an unimportant detail in my past," she waved her hand dismissively.

"Ah, nonsense," he finished his drink and gestured for the bartender to clean up. "Mr. Wintour's history would have made a good conversation starter." Gabe straightened his vest and stood, collecting his coat. He sauntered towards Alex, circling around the now speechless Julian. He draped his jacket over her shoulders, clearly making a statement before he reached for her hand, wrapping it in his.

"Why? Isn't the shiny nameplate of Senior Partner not good enough?" Alex expertly rode along, locking eyes with her former flame before gazing back at Gabe enticingly. "Forgive him, Julian. My lovely boyfriend here has a bad hobby of underselling himself," she smiled warmly, the irony of her statement eluding her ex. Gabe was about to smirk with her ingenuity, stopping when he felt her arm slowly wrapping around his waist. He barely stifled a groan at the intimacy of her touch.

The other man went beet red at the gesture. For embarrassment or infuriation or both, Gabe didn't fucking care. All he cared about was for Alex to slap this douche's face, metaphorically speaking.

"Anyway, Julian, it's been a pleasure. It's been a long night, and we're about ready to retire at our penthouse suite," steadily, she got up from her seat. The command in her was undeniable, forcing anyone to feel nothing but regret the day they decided Alessandra Keating wasn't good enough for them. Then with a flourish, she turned around as she let Gabe take her away from her past lover's scrutinizing gaze.

Inside the elevator, Gabe caught Alex's exhale of relief, probably thankful that Julian was out of her sight. Gabe still held onto her hand, though Alex didn't seem to notice. As they began their ascent, he waited for her to break the silence, deciding that the questions running in his mind can wait.

"I would have traded my rankings for the look of disbelief in Julian's face," Alex said turning to him, to which Gabe arched his brow.

He smirked devilishly, knowing Alex could take the hint. "I believe I could offer a sight better than that."

She grinned at the innuendo, further lightening up the mood between them. "One day, Gabe, I'll take you up on that," she said, crossing her legs as she leaned on the polished wall behind her. "Though I'm sure you're dying to know... How did I end up dating the Julian Wintour?"

Gabe pondered before answering. "Hmm, actually not the first one that comes to mind, no." He tapped against his temple. "I doubted you would ever bat an eyelash to his direction."

Her eyebrows rose. "Ah, you think so highly of me." She chuckled, shaking her head at his reply. "But yes, he was my ex. And yes, he was the red on my ledger. He was my first love," she admitted. "That ideal, once in a lifetime, true love everyone's talking about? Julian was it, or at least I thought he was." she sighed, glancing at her reflection on the polished metal panel beside her. "But when things started to go downhill for me, he was the first one to walk out," she paused, taking a deep breath. "By cheating on me."

Gabe's body went rigid, clenching his fists so hard until his nails dug unto his palms. What the fucking hell? I know I should have punched that guy's perfect teeth! He decided against airing his vengeful thoughts, staying quiet as he glimpsed at her image on the walls.

"Joey reminded me how Julian made me doubt myself. If I'm really over what he's done to me, if he's still in my head," she continued, rubbing at her nape. Gabe felt her gaze fall on him, which he reciprocated. "But after walking out from him tonight, I am much more certain that I made it out, after all."

Gabe felt her squeeze his hand as she said those words, and his heart somersaulted inside his chest. "So thanks. I needed that little nudge," she said in finality.

He turned to beam at her as he relished the triumph in her words, hoping that it was enough to convey that he was proud of her. And to be part of that discovery about herself, about who she always was in his eyes - someone who was his equal.

When they arrived at her floor, she gently freed her hand from his grasp invoking a sharp exhale from him. She stepped out of the elevator, her gait as undeterred as ever. But then she turned, her soft expression dimmed by the lack of light. "And while we're on the subject of appreciation," she uttered, before dropping one last revelation.

"Thanks for that save you also gave me ten years ago," Alex glanced up at him with half-lidded eyes, her words laced with meaning.

It took him a few moments before he could even comprehend what she was trying to convey. He searched her eyes for some explanation but found none. "What do you mean, Alex?" he said, managing to find his voice.

"I know exactly who you are, Gabriel Ricci."

With that, the doors slowly closed in front of him, her sly smile fading from his sight until he can only see his own reflection. He examined her last sentence, repeating the words over and over in his head. There was only one plausible explanation: she only knew half of the truth. His body sagged against the wall as he shut his eyes, angry at himself.

No Alex, I think you really don't.

Author's Notes: Thank you for your continued reading! As some of you may have already noticed, this part was written purely in Gabe's POV because I wanted to expose his conflicted feelings for Alex. It's probably my own version of revenge, with PB stretching that slow burn as much as they could 🤭 Share your thoughts in the comments, I'd really appreciate it! 💖

Taglist: @adiehardfan @pixelnutrookie @starryjieun @fucking-random1 @sarcastic01lily @spookycolorpeanut @ophrookie @suitfer

@choicesficwriterscreations

It's my first time tagging a couple of folks, so please inform me if I missed including you. Also, want to be added or removed from the tag list? No problem - just let me know 😊.

#choices laws of attraction #laws of attraction #choices laws of attraction fanfiction #laws of attraction fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #gabe ricci x mc #gabe ricci

[baidar-oroq]

You Are The Sun

In a space between moments, two memories meet:

"Oh, ah, hey, erm...Azem? What should I call you?"

"Briareus will do, Baidar. What do you need?"

"I'm thinking about how I fought her back then, in Elpis. Like you did."

"What are wanting to know? Did she tell you the truth that she was holding back? Yes, she was. Did she undersell how much she holding back? A bit. Had your defenses not been up to it, she would have grievously injured you. Thankfully she judged it properly."

"She said you were less than half her age when you fought her."

"I was, yes. Mind, less than half her age then could have meant five hundred years, or fifty. It's not polite to ask a lady two things in any time, Baidar, her weight and her age."

"I wasn't asking that. I was just...trying to get a sense of scale of her. She seems so far beyond me."

"You're really wondering how someone like her can love a kid like you, aren't you?"

"How do you know that?"

"I was wondering the same thing to the day I replaced her as Azem. Hold on, let me borrow your memory for a moment."

"You remember this day, I assume?"

"Of course I do. It's mere minutes after we battled."

"Quite. Good show, by the way. She truly wasn't holding back near as much as she let on, for what it's worth. At any rate, here."

"There. That's the answer to your doubt. I know that expression. I know the look in her eyes. She's only just met you. You're a mystery to her, and your mission is of paramount importance, and she is thinking 'why does he make my very being sing?'"

"I wasn't aware that I made her feel anything like that."

"Try asking her sometime, Baidar. Try asking her. If I had asked her things like that more often, maybe we would have parted on better terms."

"I'm sorry, Briareus."

"For what? The mistakes I made? They were made an eternity before you met her, or a moment. They're irrelevant to the life you can have with her. You'll make your own. Loving Venat is like loving the instant lightning flashes, or loving the stars in the sky, though you know their light has reached you from times long gone. It is like loving the snowflake just before it melts. It is like loving the storm as it breaks over you. Just remember one thing, Baidar. She might be all of those things to you."

"But to her, you are the sun."

"I hope so. I hope that I honor your memory well, Briareus."

"Trust me, Baidar. You do."

#you are the sun #ffxiv #endwalker #venat #baidar x venat #baidar and venat au #if you're gonna make an azem for your WoL #you use him #saw someone on twitter use as a line from venat to azem #figured he would remember it and us it here

[rappaccini]

alright motherland: fort salem thoughts

(spoilers)

motherland: fort salem is an awful title. make it one or the other, not both.

the opening title sequence is one of the best i've ever seen. beautiful, atmospheric and does a great job of setting up the worldbuilding.

the three mains really start to evolve from their generic ya protag starting points. rae, tally and abigail are really solid, if sometimes waylaid by writing that doesn't let them evolve much beyond their types (The Rebel, The Sweetheart, The Good Girl, respectively).

and their friendship dynamic is excellent. they did a great job with that evolution from unit to best friends.

(granted the acting is less-than-wonderful. i think someone else could've elevated the material, but they just kinda... deliver it adequately. everyone undersells very intense emotions and it's very... whelming.)

i don't care about rae and scylla or abigal/adil for inverted reasons: i like adil's effect on abigail, i just think he's made of cardboard; i dislike how immediately ride-or-die raylla are when they barely know each other (and when scylla is lying to rae the entire time they're together) but i think scylla is a much better character.

i swear the one time i want a slowburn rivals-to-lovers vibe (with abigail) over the juicy spy-falling-for-her-mark story, they don't do it. abigail x rae supremacy, not sorry about it.

but it was great for scylla to be on her own in s2. that saved her from amity blight syndrome.

eliot laurence is being added to my list of male showrunners who can be trusted with female and queer characters. proving to all of us that all that's required to get minority characters right is.... competence at your fucking job. it's not hard, you just have to try.

this show feels like it's a live-action american version of an anime, a comic adaptation, or a ya novel adaptation. it being 100% original just for tv is wild. i can't believe it was greenlit.

can't get over how an abc freeform show has a canon sex holiday for teen witches to have state-sanctioned orgies, or subplots about how our plucky teen protags have to have arranged polyamorous marriages to young men so they can be bred like racehorse mares or prized showdogs.

or that they have so many queer characters, queer romances, queer dynamics... (on top of rae/scylla, rae's gay friend being treated so evenly and not like a punchline and them bonding organically over being queer, rae's dad having such an accurate Straight Dad Trying To Be Chill Abt His Lesbian Daughter vibe, the gnc character being treated as totally ordinary... even abigail having three dads. her mom literally has a harem.) i can't believe this is a cable tv show made for teens on a network that's basically the disney cw.

the spree's fire-burning disguise? fucking badass. there are some incredible images in this show.

that being said i hate the orange-and-blue filter.

the dope ancient families? i'm obsessed with learning more about the bellweathers.

the magic system is the most unique thing about this show. witchcraft as siren song is a wildly unique concept, and i love how seriously they take it-- something that could otherwise be very goofy ends up very cool.

granted i think it's so big that it's hard to follow. it doesn't really mean much if abigail and rae are adding to witch canon if we barely know the limits of witch canon

for that matter the thing that makes this show stand out is undoubtedly the world. all the tiny details, the little cultural mentions like different states (and the cessions), the religious divergences (goddess instead of god, christo-pagan being a sect), the technology being outdated bc of magic's influence, the alternate wars, the mothertongue, biddies.... insane. absolutely insane

the shift towards matriarchy because of three hundred years of witches from matrilines being the backbone of the military. the religion. the magic system. it's ridiculous but the show takes itself completely seriously, so it works.

granted the balloons-are-a-symbol-of-malice shit is still... hilarious.

i would absolutely read an entire book just about this world and how the witches' involvement in us and world affairs changed history. i'm watching just to get a look at this world.

.... but a lot of the worldbuilding has holes.

(like, 'wow rae has a cession drawl' as she talks no differently from everyone else. someone needed to get this actress a voice coach.)

like 'chippewa cession is in the carolinas but the map clearly shows that the whole cession runs through the middle of the country and the chippewa are from the upper midwest/great lakes'

like, witches are the dominant force in us politics and military, yet for some reason anti-witch christianity is still in power.

like, 'hey, witches only pass their powers down their maternal lines of descent, and we need more witches to be bred. let's send all our female witches of childbearing age to war when we have male witches who are just as powerful and don't pass their powers on to their kids.' .............????? that's dumb.

or the bellweather line of witches being So Special and vital to preserve, and having enough power to get themselves cushy command positions out of danger, yet there's only one bellweather daughter left? abigail should have a dozen sisters and cousins.

or rae and tally being the last of their oh-so-precious lines (and rae in particular having Powerful Genes), yet being sent to war instead of made to have babies.

and the plots and theming take turns that i kind of hate. we spend a whole season watching the spree murder thousands, except, oops actually they're Just Misunderstood? too late.

or the Blood Purity thing about the witch matrilines.... look bro if you're critiquing it you're doing a shit job. and just because a character of color is Purest Of Blood doesn't make it less icky a concept.

and the rise-of-skywalkery 'your bloodline is what makes you special' shit. gross.

particularly with abigail's s2 plot literally being 'so who do you want to be bred to? remember you have no choice. you, a teenage girl, will be isolated from your friends and peers, impregnated and used as a brood mare to pump out more soldiers to fight and die in our forever wars. but hey, lets meet these hot boys!' i mean... dear god. run abigail run.

.... can't get over how abigail is STILL so gung ho about the status quo after she watches it murder innocents and try to turn her into a brood mare. she just does not consistently develop.

we end s1 with general alder pulling a coup and mind controlling the president to secure unlimited power. and then sending three teenage girls on a suicide mission to keep them from telling anyone... yet she's Secretly Justified? and then in s2 is Bad again after an entire season of proving herself trustworthy? i swear the show cannot make up its mind about her. pick one or commit to a shift from one to the other.

and how was she still in power if her superiors know she was power hungry. makes no sense

we spend an entire season questioning the institution of the witch conscription and how ethical it is to constantly keep up forever wars, and how sus the us's involvement in world conflict is... yet we end on a note of Join The Army, Girls!

s1 establishes that witches are revered and adored, but in s2 they're suddenly not anymore and they're an oppressed minority group being hunted by witch hunters..... no. you can't make that massive a public opinion shift in a matter of weeks when the group in question has been dominant for FOUR HUNDRED YEARS and is baked into national identity.

also given how much shit the witches do in s1, having the witch hunter bigots be to a certain extent right about wanting to be free from them by any means necessary is... Not Good.

s2 really does blow a lot of holes into everything. still entertaining, but not nearly as tight as 1.

(hot take: s1 ending on the girls concluding military school and being sent into the field was great. sending them BACK in s2 killed that momentum. we needed to be done with witch school after s1.)

(hot take: bc development is always the best when you shove a character into the toughest situation they could face, the end of s1/start of s2 should've been: type-a legacy kid kool-aid-drinker abigail deserting and running away with the dodgers after seeing what the army were doing to the tarim. sweet flower child who firmly believes the army just wants to help ppl and wants to protect people tally joining the spree after getting livid at all the war criming. rebel slacker rae becoming the most loyal to the army and joining alder's inner circle as she completes her coup attempt.)

feels like the plots they wanted to explore just don't fit the world they made. and that their characters are just vessels to tell us about the world. or that they don't understand how to competently write the themes they want to explore. they're too ambitious for their own skill level, but i'll take that any day over being too cowardly to go for it with your batshit world.

still the world and the concepts alone are cool enough to stick around for. i'm gonna stick with the show, esp since it's getting one more season. maybe they'll into-the-badlands this shit and really come through in the final act. maybe not, but at least it'll be enjoyable and not too much of a time commitment.

#motherland fort salem

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

Yo if you're still taking maruader requests can I get something with Regulus and a Hufflepuff reader who is muggleborn, and is like a bad bitch, but also an emotionally vulnerable bitch. I'm really bad at explaining but I just need a hufflepuff fic where they aren't portrayed as only sweet and adorable and cynical and I also love and adore Regulus. Also if you don't write for him then Remus is cool too.

OOOOHHH I LOVE BAD ASS HUFFLEPUFFS (my girlfriend says that I am one but I disagree, I am a cuddly bitch)

Regulus was misunderstood by most. Sirius didn’t misunderstand him though he just kept his distance. There was this paranoia from Sirius that no matter what he said to his brother in secret, it would always make it back to his mother. Regulus certainly interested you though. Why, who knows. But you definitely liked Regulus’ personality. 

He was calmer than his older brother. He was certainly intelligent too, being well versed in literature. Actually he himself looked like he came straight out of an old classic. He was certainly attractive and that was proven by the many girls who would attempt to make passes at him. Regulus never showed any interest. At least, not until you came along. 

You were this beautiful storm of a human being. Oh a fowl mouth but my god you were perfect in his eyes. He considered you to be a very intelligent girl, always knowing how to deal with certain situations in various ways. Regulus was so fixated on you but he never actually spoke to you. He’d chuckle at your jokes when he could hear them, he’d nod to you as a hello in the hall, but any interaction outside of that was rare. 

Thankfully he was your partner for a project in potions. Regulus began to noticed new habits of yours that intrigued him. You required visual aids to learn, you could comprehend reading but it didn’t stick. You mouthed your words when you were reading. You always had songs stuck in your head so you were always humming them when you took a study break. Regulus noticed you seemed to know everyone too considering when he would talk to you there was almost always someone waving at you or saying hello. 

Today something was different. You had a pen out, scribbling and constantly looking at Regulus while he did his portion of the project. You had finished your portion earlier, so it was pretty confusing to Regulus what you were doing. “Y/n, why do you keep looking up at me?” Regulus finally asked. You still kept going in silence until you sat down your pen and handed him the paper you were writing on. No not writing. Drawing. You drew this detailed drawing of Regulus and he looked at you. “Y/n this is... Beautiful.” He said looking at it. “I had difficulties with the hands but I think I did okay.” You shrugged. “Why hands?” Regulus asked. “I can’t draw them unless I’m looking directly at them, part of the reasons I just kept staring.” you chuckled. You looked at his hands and he lifted them. “Would you like to look at my hands?” He asked with a chuckle. You lifted them and studied them, tracing every line and vein. “Your hands are soft.” you muttered. He looked at your eyes as you continued. “So are yours.” He muttered looking at you. You finally looked up and blushed, clearing your throat and pulling back.

“Why don’t we talk more often?” Regulus asked. “Well... You’re kind of intimidating.” you admitted. “Me? Y/n, have you met me?” Regulus asked, making you laugh. “Yes. And I stand by what I said. You’re so smart and not many people can maintain a long conversation with you because of said intelligence.” You said. “But you’re smart too Y/n.” Regulus said. “I mean I guess but--” “No, you are. Y/n you have a very sharp wit and quick thought process. Do not undersell yourself.” Regulus said. You blinked a few times and then cleared your throat, tucking lose strands of hair behind your ear. “Thanks Regulus.” you said with a small smile. 

When the project ended Regulus felt slightly disappointed that his sole reason for talking to you was gone. Lucky for him you didn’t wish to cease contact with him and actually walked alongside him, laughing with him or listening to him. You two became quite the noticeable duo, most of your free time being spent around Regulus. He was learning all sorts of interesting things about you too. You came from two muggle parents who loved you, you always fought for the little guy and you always felt obligated to show new first years around. Regulus had heard stories of you being a bit of a bitch to any Slytherins who may have decided harass first years but he never saw the extent of it until someone called him a “Bloodtraitor” for being friends with you. You clocked the boy in the nose and Regulus had to pull you back from doing worse. It didn’t help that the boy’s girlfriend decided to attack you one day while you were alone.

Regulus still managed to find you though and got you out of there. “See this is why we don’t fight.” He said, patting your newly busted lip with a warm cloth. You winced and he sighed. “You shouldn’t have punched Gavin.” Regulus muttered. “He insulted you. And he has a wonderful history of treating the first years of my class like shit.” You muttered as he also patted a mark on your forehead. “Ow.” you winced. He apologized but kept tending to your scrapes. “You could get seriously hurt doing crap like this.” Regulus muttered. “Well you chose to be friends with me.” you said. He nodded. “That’s fair.” he nodded. You smiled at him and he looked at you, cloth in hand. You looked in those beautiful eyes. They were dark but strangely full of color all at once. He said nothing, slowly lowering his hand and leaning towards you. You looked at those lips and leaned in too, him cradling your head. You winced at the feeling of your lip making contact with something and Regulus pulled back.

“Sorry.” He chuckled. You smiled at him and he smiled at you. “Sooo.” you said making him chuckle. “Yes Y/n?” He asked. “You tried to kiss me.” you said. “Last I checked, you leaned in too.” He said. “I did.” You nodded. “And when your lip heals, we can try that again with a potentially more successful outcome.” He said making you blush. He smiled and booped your nose making you smile. 

He certainly treated you more like a girlfriend now, his hand usually finding its way into yours, him saying sweet observations out loud such as “You have the most harmonious laugh” or “You have the loveliest  eyes I’ve ever seen.” Regulus would receive backhanded comments from the Slytherins about liking you but none of them dared to say anything to your face. He didn’t care. As long as he had you in his life he wouldn’t care. 

 Regulus saw you one afternoon, you were sitting in the library reading and he sat next to you. “Hi.” He greeted. You smiled. “Hi.” you said. He moved your hair from your face and you chuckled. “Got some plans or something?” You asked. “Yep.” He nodded before finally making good on his comment. He kissed you, holding your face. “What was that for?” You asked. “For being you.” He said making you smile before you kissed him again.

Taglist: @amhyeah @newtaholic-staygold @bbeauttyybbx @fleurho @yodeadxss @secretaccshh

#regulus black #regulus x you #regulus x reader #regulus x y/n

[finalgirldean]

what are some of your favourite books?

oh what a tough question! i really don't read much because i've got a terrible attention span sometimes. another thing is that i don't feel like i was entirely conscious until rather recent so i couldn't take in what i was experiencing as well i can know, and will later. but anyway i'll stop going on and think of some..

the hundred year house by rebecca makkai was the first book i read that really blew my mind (in middle school). it follows characters in this one house over three time periods. right up until the end of the book more and more is revealed how each time is delicately intertwined. i reread it when i was about 17 and enjoyed it the same, and i think i would enjoy it even more if i read it again today, now that i'm older.

the absolutist by john boyne i'm mentioning this one because it totally obliterated me more than any book ive read. so much so that it almost made me sympathetic to the plight of those people obsessed with happy endings and warding off misery in art--almost. but i hope that doesnt put you off if it interests you, i really would recommend it. sometimes a bit of pain is good thing--to have ones emotions stirred up so high is a real treat.

enter the aardvark by jessica anthony wholly original and the most ive laughed at a book. was strange feeling empathy for the type of character who i would abhor in real life, but thats how it goes when youre in someones head. 

the iliad by homer dont even know where to begin with this one. i'll just say that i think since the title is one of the most well known and well regarded (in the "west"?) of all time, and because of its age, it gets underestimated by people unfamiliar with it (which is more and more these days, i think). but it really is an astounding story with depths that you can mine for eternity (not in the least because its in an ancient language and therefore subject to translations and what not).

orlando by virginia woolf first of all: the greatest love letter of all time (here's another favourite). second of all: to say this book was a delightful read undersells it, but my vocabulary cant give up a more suitable word. i feel like im entirely somewhere else when i read it. as a lover of history, watching her refashion the concept of a biography the way she did sends tingles up my spine and across my brain. 

on the road by jack keruac im not even sure if i especially liked this as a story but i dont think ive ever given more thought to a book while i was reading it recreationally. i can only freely admit here that it was in large part due to supernatural. i read it back in the winter when i was deep in those trenches and almost all i could think about was supernatural. so while i was reading it i was thinking about how it compared to the show and the characters (dean lol) and kripkes ideas about his show, masculinity, America etc. and it was extremly fascinating to see the narrative and message keruac made from his experiences and the people he met. even observing the misogyny i found interesting (sorry girls). so in short this is one of my favourite books because it gave me a lot to think about. also you can tell im not an english major who has to pick apart books all day long lol 

brideshead revisited by evelyn waugh my old friend <3 

black beauty by anna sewell one of my favourites for totally sentimental reasons. my mother read it to me as a child, it was one of her favourite books, and we shared (in the family) a love of horses. 

this post is getting long so ill cut it off here but in the last couple of my months ive read or started reading some recent favourites: affairs of honor by joanne b. freeman (incredibly smart and wonderful reminder how hilarious history is), jane eyre by charlotte bronte (win for ugly people), tinker tailor soldier spy (my recent zero note posts subject), stalin’s englishman by andrew lownie (my photo library is now filled with screenshots from this) the charioteer by mary renault (an old favourite) 

#HOPE i didnt sound like a snob in that post hah #long post #this week on gratuitous use of brackets #anonymous #ask

[mytastessuck]

Gorillaz: Song Machine, Season 1: "Strange Timez"

2The final frontier...until the next frontier as indicated by the album's title. A lot of guests showed up to help out Gorillaz on this album, ranging from indie acts to freaking legends. You thought Humanz was overpacked? You don't know the shit that Kong Studios was filled with when the Spacemonkeyz left. A good amount of my playlist is filled with songs from this album so let's just shut up and get on with it so I can gush about an awesome album.

1. Strange Timez

Heh, they start the album off with the titular track. That's pretty coo---HOLY SHIT, IS THAT ROBERT SMITH?! When you got the fucking frontman of The Cure singing with you about what an utter shitshow of a year it was a while ago, you know that Gorillaz has thrown away any semblance of fucking around. Everyone sounds like they're on the verge of panicking and I'm all for it. What a KO punch out the gate.

2020/10

2. The Valley of the Pagans

Beck decides to team up with Gorillaz, making it his third most important collaboration since his team-ups with The Lonely Island and Bender. This track is something that needs to be shouted out loud with the windows rolled down on a road trip and that's mostly due to the energy Damon brings to the track. Beck does a servicable job but something is missing that would put this on the level of Ultimate Beck Songs. Still, awesome track.

9/10

3. The Lost Chord

This track makes me feel things. Things that I've got no right feeling. Both Damon and Leee manages to make this one of the most depressing tracks on the album even without the context of the album. Some days all you can do go harder, go harder.

11/10

4. Pac-Man

Okay, gonna say something that even I don't like saying. This song is great...until Schoolboy Q starts rapping. I dunno what it is about the rap that turns me off. It just feels loose, all over the place and building up to something that has no payoff. It's a shame the song relies on that part so strongly. Noodle had an interesting outfit in the video though.

7/10

5. Chalk Tablet Towers

Another club anthem from Gorillaz! Nowhere near as good as "Strobelite" but definitely much more relatable (I wanna go home indeed.) St. Vincent is a great back-up on this track that's good enough to dance to, do drugs to or stare at your drink as you wonder if this is the state you're going to spend the rest of your life in...to.

8/10

6. The Pink Phantom

Pretty good tone to this song. Somber, nice crooning from Damon, 6lack's part is a bit superfluous but it doesn't detract from the rest of the son---HOLY SHIT, IS THAT ELTON JOHN?! AND IS HE THE BEST PART OF THE SONG?! I can't believe the blind old bastard still had it in you. To this day, I find myself singing "I tried to say I love you/But you wouldn't listen." to myself out of nowhere. This song elevates this album to a classier stand than anything Murdoc touched has any right being.

3000/10

7. Aries

Really nice chill-out song. Good instrumentation from Peter Hook and Georgia. I'm really underselling it but it is impossible to be in a bad mood when this song comes on. Kind makes you want to go out and, you know, actually do shit. (With a mask on though.)

413/10

8. Friday 13th

Finally some good rap. Geez, that was mean. Well, if it makes you feel any better, this song becomes a bummer if you know the context behind it. Octavian manages to fuel the nihilistic vibe behind the song that makes you wish for beautiful days to take your mind off...well, life. Bonus point for James Baldwin quote.

11/10

9. Dead Butterflies

Yes! More songs to make me feel stuff! Kano and Roxani overshadow Damon as they sing about how nothing matters but...nah, that's it. Nothing matters. We're dead bugs. We got nothing left. Let's just speak Spanish or something.

10/10

10. Desole

Man, Fatoumata Diawara is such a good singer, she can make a man tolerate the French. Second single from the album and they show that are willing to go back to songs in different languages and I am all for it. Fuck yes. Sorry for swearing. Putain Ouais.

714/10

11. Momentary Bliss

First single off the album and it is special, so fucking special. Slowthai grabs your attention by the throat with his heavy rhymes and holds you long enough for Slaves to slam themselves down on you with the increasingly-punk-by-the-second climax they crash in on. Damon can barely keep up as he makes sure that enough hype is gathered for this album through one of its best tracks.

1000/10

12. Opium

I only heard this song when I listened to the album for the first time and I immediately put it on my playlist afterwards. EarthGang kicks so much fucking ass on this track that Eddie Murphy experiences sympathy pains every time he hears the word "Georgia". These guys need more cred and they are half of the reason why you should shell out for the deluxe edition.

365/10

13. Simplicity

The title is accurate. The song is simple. Pretty calming though. And nothing offensively wrong with it. I dunno, it must feel like a let down after Opium's haze of awesomeness.

8/10

14. Severed Head

Goldlink and UMO are the bravest fuckers on the planet to bring attention to the serious problem of decapitation. With nice keys backing up their sermon, maybe people will take having all of their major organ functions operable more seriously now. I know I will.

10/10

15. With Love To An Ex

As an African-American who experiences misfortune in love myself, something about this song speaks to me. Ex-niggas may not be texting me...might actually need ex-niggas for that...but shit, your past following you does speak to me in the worst way possible. Man, fuck people.

11/10

16. MLS

Hey, it's these guys again! I'm not going to tell you where I know them from. That's for further down the road. Still, glad to know these two are able to create something beautiful that can be mistakenly picked up by a parent who mistakes it for something from the Craig of the Creek soundtrack.

9/10

17. How Far?

We lost a treasure of a percussionist when Tony Allen died. This track is proof he was one of the best in the business. Skepta doesn't let any slack fall down on his side either. Dissing the listeners while Tony backs him up with one of the best beats I've ever heard. RIP sir.

800/10

Album Score: 494/10

And that concludes the Gorillaz retrospective. Next week, we start on my second favorite band, Ween:

We will covering all their studio albums, starting with the punk masterpiece, GodWeenSatan: The Oneness. That'll take me a couple of days to write up. See you then.

#gorillaz #song machine season one #strange timez #review #music #EarthGang #ween