#I'm not trying to acknowledge my issues

[moonlitetales]

Me:*peacefully hating on a character* Character:*shares relatable backstory/Point of view* Me:

#oc #humor #yup that's it #I'm not putting a list of characters #it's always the good books/movies/games #like leave me alone #I'm not trying to acknowledge my issues

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry #everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now #i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse #i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be #but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol #but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something #for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave #and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from #and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true #and i can't support people like that and take them seriously #i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well #but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch #and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard #yrtalk #with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame #but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so #and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows #but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't

[creepyscritches]

Ramping up to my first family therapy appointment and I'm feeling like an insane person trying to get thoughts in order like this is hell on earth 🤡

#Creepy chatter #Trying to convince other parties that I don't have issues I can just 'get over' is maddening #'all these fucking things shaped me into who I am + I am desperate for a healthy relationship w myself and you and these forever factors' #vs someone insisting 'I want to deal w these things and move on and not have to talk about them again' #I am ALWAYS going to be affected by several of these things but they don't HAVE to hurt me to be a part of me #Also it really sucks being told you're The Most complicated relationship in someone's life like it's a bad thing :( #But like. Idk. I'm in such a shit phase of 'you're right I wasn't the nicest and I'm sorry for not respecting your feelings' #When mine have quite literally never get acknowledged beyond making me a problem 👁️👁️ #This is why we need therapy!!!! #I don't want a therapist to take my side and I'm not trying to win any kind of argument #I just need a third party to fucking HELP ME

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[suncaptor]

there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.

#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma #I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do #this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by #my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness #control my willingness to let things in #but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music........... #and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy #or religion because they've damaged me so much #how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma? #the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is #but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again #and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror #then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique #and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem #but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere #possibility of a future #i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed #me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life. #if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee #nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like #that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and #there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue. #it's the problem in itself. #my ambition SHOULD be smarter. #god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i #mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me #but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin #well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see. #delete

[bibiana112]

I'm going to draw wktd fanart (to cope with a highly specific situation) while I still have the time for it (looming employment) and that is a promise to myself (I probably have something else I said I'd work on but whatever)

#I strt at the end of the month and I'm #I'm not even gonna say I'm scared I'm not I'm just not quite excited either? I'll pull through #and hopefully eat better and be able to buy fun things thaNK FUCK #however also taxes. I am not looking forward to taxes #like it's literally an ideal position if I don't manage it for whatever reason that'll be uh. something big for me to find out limits wise #but it's whatever I'm curious and I gotta try #and like I said god I'll be so happy to be able to afford hyper specific autism approved food that's gonna make everything so much easier #oh also the hyper specific situation? don't worry about it. just know I'm going to cry into whatever I draw for that game atm #I mentioned it in the post I made about it these days I literally skimmed through lines of one of the endings and immediately cried a single #Annoying tear. I feel like I don't cry about life things as much as would be healthy to and when I do I don't cry right #so I just get so annoyed at these sudden single tear moments when I'm not even putting effort into anything they just leak out #because something on a screen hit too close to home in an instant but I can't even properly Feel it because I'm focused on something else #and the thing in question has well been Acknowledged and rendered Irrelevant #it's not satisfying like crying for being engrossed on a story and/or characters and I absolutely hate how idk picturesque? it feels #people criticize drawing crying with a pretty single tear all the time it feels so fake and forced to fit the medium in a way that's still #appealing and consumable but I'm just a person with depersonalization issues. reverse derealization. everything's real except me #anyways I wasn't spiraling I will continue to not spiral about that at this moment but that's constantly there in my brain #and I'm going to draw the body horror lesbian polycule about it #Void fala aí #oh yeah I promised field sib content uh I can easily do that as a warm-up on a work day obviously pfft #''end of the month'' she's so pretentious you mean next week

[charlignon]

I would play Pokemon even if it looked like this

#dont @ me please thank you #i acknowledge the existing issues i'm just trying to be silly funny here #pokemon #pokemon scarlet violet #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon yellow #pokémon #pokemon scarlet #pokemon violet #but tbh I will buy anything no matter how shitty it is #my autism simply doesnt care

[slippery-minghus]

okay also... not that it's a bad thing about him as a person at all... but if i'm gonna be in a relationship with someone... fuck if i wanna be able to have an intelligent conversation with them. even if there's only a few topics we line up on in that manner. just please, anything other than usually-one-sided conversations about fandom.... 😮‍💨

#i read a thing a week or so ago about this couple who just sit and talk for hours every day #and while i don't have fucking *that* level of social energy.... some of that would be nice #i'm getting to the stage where i have to remind myself of all the reasons i want *not this* #(trying the reframe from my shrink. it's not what i Don't Want- but what i Do Want Instead) #and i feel so mean and selfish for pointing out all the ways this relationship falls short #because who the hell am *i*?? what right do i have??? #we're *perfect* for each other if only we both change (or i abusively make him change) in all these ways until we're totally different ppl! #but if i don't acknowledge where things are not matching up to my wants #then it'll be all too easy to gloss over them and beloeve myself that i'm an evil monster depriving an innocent boy of his rightful soulmate #but the point of a soulmate is complementing each other.... not one person being the person that completes and fixes the other #soulmates are two complete and whole people whose paths are best traveled in parallel #not two incomplete people (or one complete and the other incomplete) who can only exist by breathing for each other #and i want the person who runs parallel to me #i want someone who can not only stand on their own two feet without me but THRIVE without me #and aw hell if that isn't a very interesting thing to want considering my historical issues with feeling inadequate #but i think both those growths go hand in hand - confidence in worth and wants #(like damn- honestly surprising myself with that one!) #i'm going to have the conversation with him either this tuesday or next... #part of me wants to rip the bandaid off but the other wants to both grant him one more Date Night #and also grant myself the proof i'm not acting impulsively and without thought—that i'm not just lashing out bc i Feel Lonely or whatever #though now that i'm thinking about it i don't know that i'll be able to keep it together knowing what i plan to do #i'm gonna need my fucking anxiety meds a lot this week and next 🙃 worth it tho... 😮‍💨 #personal

[astrxealis]

sorry one last: i think it's interesting how peoples own experiences change their perceptions towards things. like milgram

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚ #like whether you think fuuta is forgivable or not #of course feeling guilty doesn't absolve him of his sins but in that case man are you going to vote everyone guilty #hmmm... it's really really complicated and extends to real world issues genuinely so it's hard to say for real #fuuta is partially responsible. but not the only one responsible. i think he's right in how he says that 'why only me?' and stuff like that #but he's sort of. not acknowledging. kind of trying to run away from what he's done in a sense. actually idk #LIKE... he's saying stuff like 'you're the same!' and all but he should yk. admit he's in the wrong. #love you fuuta but i get how that's like and he really needs to improve in that regard but then there's how. drama audio #it is really concerning... if he's voted guilty i'm not sure he'll survive. and tbh voting innocent might actually. Help him #i could explain but also it's sort of difficult to. but if someone does ask! hello! #i think the first trial. guilty helped bcs yk... he needs to realize his mistakes but it's. so frustrating too #bcs why he? why is (only) he guilty when the others are too? say like. yk. #it's because he's sort of yk 'aggressive' and all. it's a bit frustrating that people jump to 'guilty' immediately for the ones like him #in milgram that probably actually show regret more than the others who were voted innocent. or are like mikoto ifykim #and it's because of... often it is bcs of surface-level. thinking. and god it is all so complicated #and i don't want to say anything that's actually harmful but i think fuuta was forgivable from the start bcs he didn't mean it #that doesn't erase the consequences of what he did and everything but. hm. god it is all so complicated idk anymore #anyways guilty first trial is best but my personal beliefs would say innocent. i would still have voted guilty tho #like i said before and like what jackaloupe said. it's interesting if we choose based off our morals or what would be best. and ^^ yeah #for second trial... innocent. and my personal beliefs say innocent. #1. he's already been given a taste of the same medicine 2. voting guilty likely will have more concerning consequences #3. evidently more regretful and feels more guilty & less of a hero complex thus showing improvement of sorts #i'm trying to look at both sides and thinking of what would be best... anyways glad he's like 80% innocent at least <3 !! #but i think i wholly get people who still vote him guilty. though i personally don't agree at all. but i understand #hbgjhagha so complicated #edit. another thought i just remembered! fuuta targeted someone w/o much evidence so... basically someone innocent #it's different from kotoko in that she actually targets awful people. so i'm still really conflicted #that's the thing... and the fact idk whether i can really say oh futa's a good guy at heart. bcs. he seemed to... enjoy it. yk #and that's the thing. the crew behind milgram is obviously trying to make us think a certain way as well

[become-one-with-noodle]

Speaking as a person who frequently deals with sensory overload, public music discourse is so annoying sometimes, like what is it morally wrong to busk? Should it be illegal for stores or restaurants to play music, should we publically shame homeless people for playing their own music, for not having headphones? Should parades festivals and block parties be prohibited from people playing instruments or using speakers. Music is literally baked into the way our brains work as a species, and while I acknowledge that there are definitely times that playing music in public is inappropriate and annoying; context is always key. But I think some of you sound like stuck up conservatives when you try to say no one should ever play music in public, and trying to ban it outright is completely unrealistic and I don't think it would actually solve any of the issues people have with public music.

#for my fellow neurodiveregents who struggle with sensory overload: I love you so much and this post is not trying to criticize you at all #obviously we needs things in place that allow for people with those needs to be in public comfortably #better access to things like noise canceling headphones #quiet hours in public spaces #less stigmatization of autism and other disabilities #but I feel banning public music flat out isn't the answer #also I think theres a cultural aspect too with it being more socially acceptable to play music in some places than others #that's all I'm trying to say is that it's much more nuanced of an issue than people seem to be willing to acknowledge #also imagine cops brutalizing people for listening to a song its a nightmare

[cemeterym]

my psychiatrist says my eating habits are normal. i say i've eaten three separate servings of noodles today

#and little else! #in my noodles era rn. and cheesy bread but i can't access it as often as noodles : ( #told my mother and she vehemently disagreed. the woman fed me for years i think she'd know #my psychiatrist just keeps telling me things are normal when like. no #i tell her i keep having headaches where i can't do anything and i can't eat and i basically lose an entire day bc a light was a bit too #bright and she goes idk wear sunglasses. in class? #i don't care that my eating habits aren't normal i eat like a spoiled 5 year old. i just want someone to acknowledge my issues for what they #are instead of trying to just breeze past them #those three servings were breakfast lunch and dinner btw #as long as i'm eating something atp

[addelaidesupreme]

I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.

I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.

I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.

I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.

I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.

I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.

I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.

I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.

I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.

#trans woman #trans pride #trans #lgbt #lgbtq #addies high thoughts #transgender #pre op mtf #post op mtf #mtf trans #mtf girl #mtf hrt #trans hrt #hrt #trans rights #transmysogyny

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

[trasharc]

It's hilarious how abandonment comes in many forms. And even though this is the lowest and faintest form of abandonment, I'm amazed at how well it fucked up my mental state lately.

#I don't want to sound like the main character of anything which is why I try to keep these sort of ramblings to myself #but its healthy to acknowledge a problem. #Even if it sounds like a 'woe is me' #It's healthy -- at least for me -- to take off my rose-colored glasses and see things for what they truly are. #I have an issue where I can never really think that people I love can do any wrong. #If they do -- even unintentionally -- then I must be the one overreacting and being antagonistic about it. #But -- sometimes -- I really need to acknowledge that not everyone is a Saint. #I really need to acknowledge that my hurt feelings are valid. Even if it wasn't intentional I was still hurt in the end. #It's something I need to work on I suppose. I've cried too much these past few days over stupid feelings. #I wish I never felt anything at all. Or that I was the type that didn't dwell on attachments so strongly. #I sometimes wish I wasn't a person at all. I wish I was how I was back then. Stonewalling everything. #Unfortunately people grow up from their emo ages. I now need help processing all of these feelings. #Which is why I'm going to do therapy as soon as I can pay for it.

[sonicboomseason3]

a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:

paramount has come out in public support of israel

keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie

james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile

there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???

kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too

this is a complete and utter joke.

EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]

you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.

i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.

with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.

ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #.sbs3 #yeah no i WILL be annoying about this #because what the fuck

[letrashbag]

I'm making this post so I can rant in the tags, it feels safer, like no one will see it, but I'm still screaming into the void y'know?

#no actual tags cause this shall not be found #mental health is a doozy now aint it #my sibling and I always joke that we have the same mental illnesses and I always say we operate on the same frequency #cause we have a lot of similar mannerisms and behavior #our brains just think in really similar ways #however #they are autistic (not diagnosed but its veryveryvery apparent #no discussion #research and experience have dictated it so) #its something that has been really hard for them to admit and acknowledge (imposter syndrome rsd and dysfunctional family issues etc) #then we reach the issues #they have implied (and sort of said) that we think similarly and act similarly because I may also be neurodivergent #I struggle with a lot of the same family issues as them (since it's the same family) #which manifests itself as a constant desire to be special and validated but being aware that I am constantly seeking that validation #(and people pleasing but thats a different conversation) #so I've been down the road of “social media diagnosed me with ADHD” before but I constantly doubt myself because #I'm probably faking it for attention; but I don't tell anyone and don't get attention; which means I'm trying to trick myself into believin #it's true so that I can get attention without feeling guilty; but I do feel guilty; but it's just my brain convincing me that I do so that #can continue this behavior and be noticed; but I've been doing these behaviors for a long time I can point out instances where I did stuff #like this before I knew it was neurodivergent trait; but am I sure that it was actually before? maybe I'm just making this up to validate #myself; but I have been doing some of these things that my sibling does that we both call out being an autistic trait; but clearly I'm jus #doing it since they're doing it; but I'm not consciously deciding to do these things; so you're just mirroring your sibling and you're #neurodivergent friends and the internet creators that you see; but isn't mirroring a neurodivergent trait?; which is why you're doing it to #validate your claim to be neurodivergent which means you're a terrible person who thinks that being neurodivergent is quirky and cool and #everyone hates you or everyone should hate you including yourself. #so yeah #it's a constant circle in my head that just keeps getting more and more vicious #and I want to admit that I have stuff going on #but since I don't have a diagnosis it feels like I would be just crying for attention and being a disgusting human being #cause there are things that I do that I can tell I am not doing consciously (but I may have just picked them up as I am constantly absorbin