#I'm not saying they're not codependent or anything but like. holy shit how do you get off blaming Beverly for any of this

[karmaphone]

dude as someone who understands the nuances of enmeshment + the varying degrees of abuse-versus-codependency I'm really more of a Beveryly-Did-Nothing-Wrong-er than the show, which is a Beverly-Is-Equally-At-Fault-er

#am I saying she did nothing wrong? no she did a bunch of stuff that was wrong #mostly lying to Genevieve when she asked her outright if it was her the whole time #but all the stuff that Elliot was doing on her own that she had no idea about? all the intrusions into her life and relationship that #Beverly didn't know how to stop? that doesn't seem like HER FAULT like it seems more like Elliot doing whatever the fuck she wants and #justifying it to them both retroactively by saying that it was all for beverly #like. the misusing her eggs to do something very very illegal and possibly unethical WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE OR PERMISSION the second that she #sets a boundary is um. like a big red flag to me about the nature of their relationship #I'm not saying they're not codependent or anything but like. holy shit how do you get off blaming Beverly for any of this #the end was very much Her Choice (kinda? hormones + trauma + cycling back into toxic patterns is uh. something really hard to break out of) #but like. holy god do you not see how Elliot was the bigger influence on this outcome #most of Beverly's unhappiness was due to the certainty of it making Elliot UNhappy #THATS what was killing her not that she wasn't meant to be happy. we need to compare this to the scenes of women feeling deformed for #uterine Abnormalities or for having miscarriages #like the. my body isn't meant to have babies my body kills babies directly translates over to the lines about not being meant to be happy #like. that's not the case it makes sense for you to feel that way but I promise that's not the case! fuck! this was such a compelling show #I'm mad that it ended on such a shitty note!! I can't say I didn't see it coming but like. fuck!!! what was any of it For!!!!!

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 13

chapter 24:

1. sirius 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼 james being codependent af

2. ooo reg you’re so close babes. think about that just a little more. he realizes he cares about how james treats him and feels about him. reg just almost gets it

3. “He thinks the arena makes everyone a bad person while they're here. The only exception to the rule is James. He's the only person who could drag himself through all of this filth and cruelty and still hold onto his shine.”

4. ☺️ this “without hesitation” line is gonna bite us in the ass, isn’t it?

5. they’re talking about what their life without tragedy would have looked like. and damn. i’m not okay. their life would have been so beautiful

6. “"In that life, I do," Regulus whispers. "I let you do whatever you want, and when you want to dance, we dance."”

i’m NASTY sobbing over this line. like, snot coming out of my nose sobbing

7. “Regulus said James was his first love, didn't he? James would give anything to be his last.” 😀😀😀 holy shit that hurts

8. that nightmare was VILE

9. god, reg was practically sobbing to hold james’ hand. why is the world cruel to them??

10. 😐 i am unamused. another fucking spider

11. “"Have a go at me. Don't thank me or anything. It's always you're so stupid, James; it's never you looked so sexy and heroic while saving everyone from the murderous spider, James."” PFFFFFTTTT

12. it hurts to read it, but i also have always known that if reg wasn’t called into the hunger games, james would have died for someone else. like he said, either peter or vanity

13. god, peter’s story line and character fucking hurts. his family was mathias, irene, vanity, james, and even reg. this hurts like hell

14. NOOO PETER!!!!!

15. THEY MADE IT!!! THEY SURVIVED! THE GAMES ARE OVER!! THANK GOD!!

16. 😀😧 the rule change is REVOKED??? IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY FUCKING SHIT!! IF I WAS IN THIS UNIVERSE, ID PERSONALLY BE THROWING HANDS WITH SLUGHORN!! I BET SIRIUS HAS TO BE PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED!!

17. “"You're hesitating, love," James says softly.”

SCREEEEEEEEEEECHH

18. “"Axus got me on their way into the water. At least it was your dagger, I suppose," James says with a weary chuckle, his throat bobbing on a harsh swallow. His mouth quirks up a bit at the corner, gentle and lovely. "Maybe this makes me insane, but if I'm honest, I wish it had been you."”

oh no, make no mistake james. this very much does make you insane

19. and james is compared to the fucking sun going down again. i- i’m not okay

20. i need therapy for my trust issues. i trusted my ex best freind who outed me. i trusted my old roommate who i recently found out had a notes app list of everything she didn’t like about me this year. and most importantly, i trusted zar. i trusted that this fic wouldn’t do this to me.

#marauders #regulus black #james potter #fanfic #jegulus #sunseeker #starchaser #crimson rivers