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lameghost · 3 years

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Scream blue murder.

Bonten! x yakuza! leader [part 3]

word count - 2,538

💿 - deathwish by poutyface, to the bone by j.t machinima

Warnings❕- angst + fluff+ suggestive. Mentions of death, sewer slide, drugs, physical and mental abuse.(slight hints of ptsd) Mentions of Izana x reader and others. Spoilers! Bonten arc. Blood and gore. (pinky cutting and mentions of gas poisoning, mass murder.) reader goes berserk! putting a knife in each other's throat? reader is freaky fugg. and also apparently, an expert at chemistry.

[part 1] [part 2]

“So, 12 years… You were gone, just like that and you aren’t gonna say anything, huh? Saying ‘I love you’ like that, ain’t fucking fair, y/n. I missed you for all those years. I searched for you like a madman. Fuck, you didn’t even come by to look for me or shit. You know how fucking miserable I was, after Izana was gone and you too!” Everyone flinched at the sight of the usually calm Kakucho raising his voice. You were surprised too, but you kept on an indifferent facade as you looked down, guilt overwhelmed you.

Kakucho takes a few steps towards you, “I wanna hate you for it but I can’t. You’re too fucking precious to me. The last one I have here, and I thought you were fucking dead.” You did no such attempt to avoid the slap which landed on your face as tears flowed down Kakucho’s face. You heard the faint gasp from all the executives of Bonten. You just kept quiet.

“Hug me, god fucking damn it. I missed you.” With no hesitation, you engulfed him in a hug, basking in his warmth which came into contact with your bare skin. You smiled, relishing the memories of your childhood.

“Fucking hell that was touching as shit.” Sanzu fake cries, deep down he still felt bad since he knew that you were as important to Kakucho as Mikey was to him. Losing you would have meant losing his entire world. In reply, you lifted your middle finger, sticking out your pierced tongue at the pink-haired male. He chuckles slowly.

“Holy shit, yer got piercings, that’s hot, dude.” You nodded at Rindou’s question .

“Show us, I mean your tattoos and piercings.”

“That’s a pretty specific kink you have, Sir Mikey. I mean, I know I look hot as shit but.” He snickered, signalling that he only wants your full identification.

“If you insist, your honour.” You fake sighed as you turned around and began explaining your tattoos.

“29 piercings and last I checked, around 18 or 19 tattoos. Got my first tattoo at 13, illegally. Thank god I didn’t die of infection or some shit. Dude was a nice guy, he even taught me how to take care of a new tat.” They all gasped, ‘doesn’t that shit hurt you?’. Ran and Rindou who were basically half covered in tattoos were also surprised by your ability to withstand the pain.

“Which one hurt the most though? Your tits or sumn?” Sanzu bluntly asks as he touches the tattoo on your left arm.

“Oh well, yer wanna see? Better pay money though.” You smirked and sent him a wink as you gave him a slight teaser of your tattoo, he blushed. Welp, you broke the dope peddler.

“You’re quite a mystery, aren’t you?” Mikey says, his voice dark and screechy, almost like he has been straining it.

“Your back. That ain’t a tattoo. Someone carved those characters into you.” He traces the Chinese characters on your back. You slightly flinched at the sudden cold touch of his finger. “Only the top brass of Yakuza has this, yeah? Which means, you’re the current hidden leader of the Yakuza. Working for them quietly backstage, is that fun? Don’t you wanna take the credit?” He was inches away from your face, you tilted your head slightly at his demise.

“Take credit? Pftt. Observant but dumb aren’t yer, pretty boy?” You cupped his jaw between your gloved fingers. “I fucking love it when people worship me, bow to me and praise me for all my work but I wouldn’t want my pets to go unrecognised do I? Plus, isn’t it harder to keep myself lowkey from the police that way? I have my plans, baby and I don’t like it when people question me.” You smiled and let go of his jaw, never in his life has he been this stunned by someone’s actions and indifference. This was a first.

“This carving was done by my dad. I was the only child who was able to take over the family business so, here I am. Healthier than ever!” You smiled, highlighting the dimples which brightened your eyes even more under the light which shone above you.

“So, you’ve taken a blood oath?” Kokonoi asks, curious.

“Oh that’s fucken bullshit. We don’t do those. We’re just old delinquents who don’t wanna follow laws, we don’t sacrifice ourselves. I mean that does sound cool though. The most we do is cut our pinky. I’ve cut 12 as of this week,” You sat back down, nonchalantly telling them. You put your suit back on, adjusting the tie.

Bang! A loud gunshot was heard from behind you, in one swift movement, you swooped Ran and Sanzu who were directly in front of you. ‘Top criminal organisers but can’t see a bullet coming their way? Great, fucking idiots.’ You looked down, the bullet grazed by your shoulder slightly. Thank god for that. You picked up the shell and the bullet which landed not far from it. You analysed the bullet, standing up immediately after recognising it. ‘Mauser C96. 0.45 ACP. Made in Germany. Oh fuck, why are they here?’

“Oi, you twinks. Came here to save me or something?” One by one, your members peeked their heads out from behind the oil tanks. Number 2, Tanaka Ryu. This kid has been behind you since juvie days. Once he got out, he looked for you and followed you till the very end even if it meant jumping into hellfire for you.

“If I couldn’t fight, I would have died to these hot dudes, you know? Do we need to practice again? Should I drill it into your brains?” All the members, a good 25 of them, stood at attention, weapons dropped to the floor with their hands behind their back.

“No, your honour!” In unison, their voices echoed one another. Bonten was too stunned to say a thing. Their mouths merely shut tight as your dominant aura overflowed through the entire warehouse.

“Good, and Tanaka, don’t mind, okay? Small mistake. I’m fine, n’ways.”

“Apologies, your honour. Take my pin-” You shushed him as you signalled everyone to get down and ready their weapons. Bonten, who was behind you, followed your command. You gestured for Mikey to come to your side, he slowly strides towards you.

“Mikey, listen. Now, your turf is being infiltrated. You heard that gunshot? Nagant M1895. That strong shit is only used by the Yakuza traitors. Those fuckers have been on my back for the last few months and I need a few extra hands so that I can alert my turf. After that, I’ll help yer. There should be at least 230 of them. 2 top heads and the other 8 executives. The rest are all their lackeys, bad fighting skills but good spirits. Now, we separate, I’ll alert your members too.”

You and Mikey, the leaders, moved into positions immediately. Working together for the first time but it almost seemed as if you’ve worked together for the past 10 years. You stationed Sanzu and your number 3, Haruto, right in front of you. These two are wild and have a few screws loose in their brains, so they make a good pair. They can slaughter some while you make a few alerts to your guards in your territories. You wanted to get it over and done with fast even if it meant, murder. So, you analysed whatever you had in your reach.

“Y/n-chan. What are you doing? I wanna smoke.” Sanzu said, questioning what you were looking at.

“Shush, let me think of a way to get rid of evidence fast and simple.” Haruto drags Sanzu back to their station as they both chat away, swinging the bloodied weapons in their hands. Psychos, I swear.

‘Benzoyl peroxide, TNT, fire extinguisher, bleach, ammonia and diesel.’ Fucking hell, they were making this a bit too easy isn’t it? You called Sanzu and Haruto over to help you. You took the empty tank, putting on your mask before starting and gesturing the two males to do the same. You poured the bleach into the empty tank followed by ammonia.

‘Do you think what you’re doing is right?’ The tiny voice in your head asks. ‘Well these people mass murdered 226 of the Yakuza members, isn’t it only fair?, ‘Of course, but can’t the police punish them?’. ‘What. They hurt me, not the police, I’ll make them save me a seat in hell. Especially that blabbermouth oldie.’, ‘I guess there’s no stopping you, y/n l/n. You’re a murderer after all.’ Wait, what the fuck? I’m not! They did it first, why is it me? Why am I to blame? Fuck, fuck you. ‘You’re a murderer by nature, y/n. That’s why your Mom and Dad passed this onto you.’ Shut up. They’re dead, they are just ashes, seeping into earth or maybe being swallowed by maggots. Those 2 are dead to me. ‘Your mom isn’t dead. Not yet.’ Well, I want her dead. ‘You gonna kill her, too? Like what you did to your old man? You’re naive, a pretty soul, one that I would kill to dirty but you already did it yourself.’

You halted your movements, Sanzu and Haruto stared wide-eyed at your face. Your face contorted with rage, aura screaming murder at them. This brings Sanzu back to 12 years ago when- nevermind. “Earth to y/n, we gonna continue?”

“Haruchiyo. Katana. Haruto, pass him your pistol, I’ll be right back.” ‘You’re gonna regret it, y/n.’

“SHUT UP! HOLY FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP! UGH!” You let out an indignant roar, making Kakucho and Mikey halt their movements as they continued throwing punches to the opposing team. Kakucho ran towards you, covered in blood which did not belong to him.

“Hey, y/n. Hey, look at me.” You looked at him, tears of anger welling up in your eyes. (You can only cry when you’re angry but not when you’re sad.) He pats your back, telling you to kick some ass to relieve your anger. Well, that was your green light.

You swung the Katana out from your back which had a strap, tailor made for you to store katanas. As always, pecking the handle beforehand, showing respect. ‘About 104 left, gonna be easy.’ The rest of your members and Bonten members along with the executives gathered, wanting to watch you fight. It was almost like a playback of 12 years ago.

You dropped the katana to the floor, jumping onto the first person you see, hanging from the shoulder. You swung around, possibly breaking his spine and picked up two other men by their collars. Swinging them towards the tower of diesel tanks, you made your way to your next victims.

“So, pick yer death.” You smirked, but your eyes were empty and lifeless. Your bloodthirsty aura engulfed the entire warehouse, stripping the audience off any form of excitement. The male approached you, in a split second, he was inches from your face.

“HAHAHAAHA, you’re fast but you lack experience, sweetheart.” You caressed his face, voice coated full of sinister but in his ears, it was like honey. It gave his brain whiplash how contrasting your voice was to your actions. Without batting an eye or even giving him room to recover from your touch, your left leg flew forward. Landing directly onto the wound of his temple, plunging onto the floor. You took the chance to take a seat on his back.

You rummaged through his pockets, stopping when you found his phone. You dialed a number, the others stared at you curious. “I need about, uhh, 7, no, 8 ambulances, for the Shibuya area. The warehouse down the second turn. Thank yer!” You smiled and threw the phone across the room.

“Now, there’s only… let me see… 3 of you left. Rock, paper, scissors. Winner gets to pick the lucky one.” You signaled them to start playing, with trembling figures, the 3 males began playing. You placed the lit cigarette in between your lip, enjoying others misery.

“She’s kinda hot, though.” You heard Sanzu whistling and howling from behind you as you exhaled the smoke and took off your blazer, rolling up your sleeves. You sent a kiss his way as you made your way to the poor male - a prisoner of his own bad luck.

“Hey, mister. Long time no see. I’m bigger now, if you can’t clearly see.” You subtly flaunt, towering over the male before you. You bent lower so you could make direct eye contact with him. The eye contact sent cold shivers down his spine which made him froze, his lips quivered as you moved your gloved finger, gliding down his tattooed back.

“Oi, mister. I’m talking to you, it’s rude to not reply to your master, y’know? It kinda hurts my feelings,” You faked your sadness, pretending to sob into his shoulders. If he wasn’t already stiff, he is now officially the statue of liberty.

“Y-yes, your honour!”

“Good pet. Now, let me get my work done. You know what happens to traitors, don’t you? Perverted old man.” You removed the kunai which was secured tightly in the pocketed garter which hung from your thigh. You simpered, looking pleased at the amount of fear you could elicit from the pathetic man.

“AHHHHHHHH!” He writhed in pain, screaming blue murder.

“Okay, that was the last one! 12 plus 10 equals 22! 22 pinkies!” You giggled, cracking a smile from your scarred mouth. A horrifying sight, it was.

“Fuck, didn’t know you were capable of such cruel shit.” Ran sends a surprised look, scanning you up and down as you wiped the blood off your gloves and chuckled.

“Born and bred to do this shit.”

You knew you were done but there was some unsettling feeling that irked your senses, but what was it? Could it be you forgot something-

“We’ll take over from here, as an apology and a thank you for not murdering us.” Mikey said, a small smile on his face.

“Oh no, it was great working with you, Sir Mikey.”

“Don’t call me that, on god, I’ll put a knife in your throat.”

“Do it then, it’s not a threat Mikey. ” Your little bicker was put to a stop when Kokonoi seemingly ‘cleared his throat’ loudly.

“So, you’re a professional torturer, a sugar mommy, free show stripper, yakuza leader, a mass murderer, chemist and now, a hooker. What else do we not know about you?” Kokonoi asked, voice laced with curiosity. His eyebrows raised as his eyes searched for answers in yours.

“Oh darling, I’m a walking unsolved mystery. Yer wanna find out? Yer gotta dig deep into the layers of this earth. Yer wanna solve me still?”

“Yeah, I do.” The short, purple haired spoke up. (You forgot his name.)

“Oh then, put on a raincoat. This year’s theme is bloody halloween. Wouldn’t want blood staining yer expensive suits.” You stuck out your tongue, making a move as sirens filled the quiet warehouse.

‘Roppongi, Don Quijote, 31st October, 9 P.M. Be there or else you owe me candy.’ The boys chuckled, making a run as the police broke in.

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oinkawa-bb · 4 years

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first time dads!haikyuu pt.3

request: Hiii I just read everything you’ve posted and I. Am. In. Love with your writingggg! I was hope to request a part 3 for your first-time dad series for Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kenma, and Akaashi :) -@lollypop-lam

note: ahhhh!!!! helloo bb~~ thank you so much for your luv<3333 i was rly not expecting so many ppl to read this series!! but i enjoy writing it so here’s a part 3 for you (i tried to add more variety of scenarios for y/n so it’s not all the same!) hehe i hope you like it! thank you for ur request!<3 here is dad!tsukki, akaashi, yams, and kenma

mentions: pregnancy, domesticity, fluff, slight angst, timeskip, fem!reader

part one (daichi, kuroo, oikawa)

part two (iwaizumi, suna, atsumu, osamu)

☀︎—kei tsukishima

he already knew something was different since the day you took the test

kei could sense that you were tenser than usual

Exhibit A was when you slightly jumped as he placed one hand gently on the small of your back,

it was really nothing out of the ordinary...

so he raises an eyebrow at you, not saying anything, but just questioning with his curious expression

you bite your lip,,,,

this was unplanned and even though you’ve recently discussed having kids, you’re worried about how kei might feel because honestly you’re pretty anxious,

but when you break the news to him,

the corners of his mouth are upturned into a soft grin

and he quietly pulls you into a hug

you also could’ve sworn that there were tear stains that he left on your shirt after

but when ur in his arms while he’s whispering about how excited he is, you know that you’re ready to have a family with him<33

tsukki likes to express his care for you and his child through subtle affectionate gestures,,

like his favorite thing to do when he comes home from work is envelop you in a back hug,

and he likes to run his large hands gently over your bump, waiting for a kick

when he feels one, you bet your ass that this man is grinning bc he just can’t hide his excitement !!!

i feel like he’d be a super cautious dad-to-be,

like if you’re given prenatal vitamins or told not to eat certain foods,

he has scrutinized the labels and the internet to make sure everything in the house is safe for you and his bb<33

during your whole pregnancy, he’s more logical and clear-minded, but there’s a stark contrast on the day you actually go into labor owo

like i’m talking sweat beads running down the side of his forehead

and his hand clutching yours for dear life as he guides you to the hospital room

during the entire labor, tsukishima can’t be separated from you...

like when you get up to go to the bathroom and make him stand outside, he’s leaned against the door with his arms crossed

he’s acting like a bodyguard?? but like for what idk

he’s quite tense until his baby makes their appearance,

but when he does get to hold the baby, his body is wracked with silent sobs and he’s overcome with a wave of emotion

he’s silent on the outside,

but his mind can’t even begin to process the monumental amount of love he feels for u and this little bb <333 🥺🥺🥺

dad tsukki has fallen in love all over again.

☀︎—keiji akaashi

akaashi slips into the bedroom when he hears ur sniffling,,

your back faces him, but he can tell that ur hunched over something in your hands...

when he approaches you and sees that your eyes are puffy n swollen,

his voice is filled with concern,

“what’s wrong?”

it takes a moment for you to choke out your words but you manage,

“keiji, i-i’m scared,”

then he catches sight of the white stick in your hands,

and he sees two faint lines sitting on its little screen

he takes a seat next to you, pulling your body against his and pressing a kiss to the temple of your forehead,,,

“what are you scared of when you have me?”

the two of you have a long conversation that night,,

mostly with akaashi reassuring you that he’s prepared for whatever decision you make and that he’ll always be there to support you🥺

the next morning,

you’ve calmed down and thought clearly about this, realizing that many of your anxieties stemmed from how keiji would react,

but after realizing his willingness to support you,

you can’t help but smile and press a hand to your belly as you look in the mirror in the bathroom

and when akaashi sees this, his heart is so full and excited!!!🥺

throughout your pregnancy, akaashi is overwhelmingly supportive and emotionally reliable,,

he listens to your concerns both physically and mentally, helping you talk through your worries and find solutions,,

he’s also suuuper intimate with you,

bathing and pampering you,

staying up late to talk with you,

waking you up with kisses nd breakfast in bed,,

he’s just the most perfect partner to you.

and every day you spend beside him reaffirms your excitement to have his child

when the day arrives, you’re beyond anxious,

he can just tell from little gestures you make that you’re more nervous than ever before,

so akaashi has one hand on you at all times during labor, so you can physically feel his support

the process couldn’t have gone more smoothly than it did, and akaashi’s so grateful

and when he gets to hold the baby against his own chest,

he’s smiling through the tears that are welling up bc

his eyes now lay upon the most beautiful replica of you.

fugg i luv keiji🥰🥰🥰

☀︎—tadashi yamaguchi

the day you tell yamaguchi you’re pregnant?

he’s probably crying.

no, he’s definitely crying.

he’s also definitely overexcited

so when he went in for a hug, he immediately lets go bc he’s worried that he hugged you too tightly🥺

he’s just a ball of emotions and kind of all over the place!!

but he gets it together asap and is already on dad duty the very next day

making doctor’s appointments, listing purchases to be made, planning for your baby shower, n anything he can do to be prepared

he makes many a few unnecessary purchases

something like a bougie hundred dollar memory foam pregnancy pillow for u

and a temperature controlled collapsible baby stroller for his bb

his heart was in the right place but his money was not asdgfd

but he wants to treat you like the queen that you are,

so he’s always excited to come home to see you after work

and he likes to bring home things that will make you happy

food and baby clothes and flowers uwuwu

i also think tadashi came up with the idea to start scrapbooking the memories of your soon to be little family of three <33

so he takes cute little polaroids to keep them in a scrapbook

and he also definitely keeps a lil photo of the baby’s ultrasound in his wallet that he often takes peeks at while at work

and he can’t help but smile and tear up at the thought of starting a family w u 🥰

every morning, he just feels so blessed to wake up to the sight of you n your lil bump aka his future child ?!?!!?

and when that realization registers in his brain,

he just has to pull you close to him, plant a kiss to ur belly, and cuddle you for as long as he wants <333

the day you go into labor, yamaguchi lugs like 3 hospital bags frantically out of the house (he definitely stuffed them fully to the brim)

he’s overall pretty anxious but he’s mostly anxious about the pain you’re going thru🥺

with each hour that passes at the hospital, he’s pacing the room back and forth, always coming back to ur bedside to hold ur hand and kiss it many times

when the time finally comes, yamaguchi can’t believe that he’s actually seeing his child irl

like.... he’s in awe of the beauty of his child, just utterly speechless...

it registers a little bit later and he’s crying again

but back home, yamaguchi is always so eager to take care of his baby and he’ll do anything n everything to take care of his child and help u rest and recover

dad yamaguchi melts my heart

☀︎—kozume kenma

so u decide to plan a little surprise for kenma one morning

and he’s all groggy from just waking up,

but he peeks his eyes open when he hears you shuffling back and forth right at his bedside,,

he sees that you’re only wearing a white oversized tee and he’s about to pull u back in bed for more sleep,

but then kenma’s eyes focus on the text that’s handwritten in sharpie in the center of the shirt over your stomach

“kenma jr.”

he’s never seen this shirt before, and then he’s realizing what it means and his eyes widen in anticipation !!!

so u crawl on top of him and lay your head on his chest while he’s processing,,

“you’re—?”

“yes, kozume. i am.”

he’s smiling with his eyes closed,

and he lifts his head to kiss your hair before wrapping his arms around you and whispering in your ear that “he doesn’t know a kenma jr. but he can’t wait to meet them”

you swat at his chest jokingly, and he smiles even wider,

but you don’t see the love that resonates deeply in his eyes when he looks down at you🥺

bc you end up falling asleep on him lmaooo

but ever since that day, kenma is on high alert whether it looks like it or not...

he’s especially protective of u in public,

observing those closest to you and gently shifting you out of the way when someone gets too close...

kenma is most affectionate though when he thinks you’re not aware,,

meaning he likes to run his hand over your stomach, admire your sleeping expression, nd gently kiss your hair

all while he thinks you’re asleep but you’re not tho and it makes ur heart explode

kenma also doesn’t struggle to sleep at night, but he ends up choosing to stay awake for as long as u are

and he stays awake even after u fall asleep bc he likes to whisper some of the sweetest words to just kenma jr uwuwuwu

on the day when kenma accompanies you to the hospital, he’s listening intently to the patterns of your breathing,

so he knows when the pain is worst and he holds onto you tighter during those times,,

after hours of labor, kenma ends up super teary eyed at the sight of his baby,

he’s silently swaying the baby in his arms nd just thinking about how much his heart is overfilling with luv...

he knows kenma jr now... and he loves kenma jr with his whole heart<333

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commander-titania · 5 years

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8, 13, and 21 for the micro story prompt! (and let's go with mira for one, arakni for one, titania for one? any combo of them, just one for one?)

8. sunbathing - Mira

13. too loud - Arakni

21. collapse - Titania

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jyotis asks, voice deadpan.“What’s it look like?” The norn quips, adjusting her sunglasses. “I’m getting a tan.”“You’re laying in snow.” He gestures to the sky. “Not to mention it’s cloudy.”Mira wags a metallic finger at her friend. “You underestimate me.”Jyo shakes his head. “I think I estimate you just the right amount, actually.”She grins, sitting up to look at him properly. “Well, do you have a better suggestion for sunbathing locations?”He sputters and turns away, tail swishing behind him. Mira waits patiently for him to gather his thoughts. “I don’t know, just somewhere without snow.”“How many days do you have off?” “I’m due back on the 15th, why?”“I hear LA has a gate to Southsun, and since you have so many days off you can take me!”The charr shakes his head, sighly fondly. “Yeah, okay.”

Arakni whimpers, tugging his blanket over his head. The Pact soldiers were noisy, their weapons and armour clanging and crashing against each other in a symphony of screeching metal.

They said they were taking him to the Grove, but he was still fearful. The image of soldiers pointing their weaponry at him with the intent to kill still haunting him. Another group of soldiers cheer and clink their glasses together in celebration of Mordremoth’s defeat, and Arakni can only flinch and weep into his blanket.

Titania chokes on her mouthful of blood, stopping suddenly a few paces behind the others. They’d just succeeded in rescuing Taimi from Joko’s clutches, and had reunited with Braham and Rox. The fight was brutal, and the mesmer’s still healing body wasn’t ready for it.She stumbles, and her brother Canach discreetly stops and catches her. He walks a few paces next to her, holding up her weight, before cautiously letting go of her. He watches her struggle to keep upright for a moment, before catching her once again before she plummets into the dirt.“Right then,” He whispers, “I knew it was too soon for you to be fighting again.”“Fugg you... I killed Balthazar...” Titania slurs, leaning against him.“And you are bleeding on me. Did your wound open again?”She slips a hand into her stomach guard and pulls it back out, the blue of her hand stained with golden sap. “Uhh, yeah... probably.”“We didn’t get you back just to have you bleed out pitifully.” Canach hisses. “Come on, let’s get you to the camp. We can properly treat you there.”“M’fine...” She whines. “Big fuggin... baby...”“This coming from the dying idiot I’m helping walk.” He rolls his eyes. “So I’m the baby.”

#guild wars 2 #gw2 #canach #mira royn #jyotis forgehammer #arakni bohris #titania oberonn #miz-yin

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mysynthfetish · 5 years

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Alisa 1387, Part I

Well, my invisible droogies, it was Xmas in March, me brothers. You see, my Belarusian pal Egor, out of the bloody sincere kindness of his heart, shipped me a goddam Alisa 1387. FOR FREE! I offered to at least pay for shipping (no idea how I’d have done that though, as PayPal doesn’t seem to allow sending money to Belarus last time I checked, maybe it’s different now) but nope. I mean WHO DOES THIS KINDA STUFF?! In this day and age of Drumpf and Breggzit and Me First, Fuck You! Duuuude. Egor, I really appreciate it!!!!!!!

Not in the best (or worst) shape. But the lass is in need of some serious refurbishment. As you can see in the photo above, a number of switches were broken and missing their buttons. But Egor sent me a box of extra knobs, buttons and switches!!!! Goddam man! I owe you, for real. Anyway, I had no idea where I was even gonna start, because before he sent it he provided me a long list of ailments the poor thing is suffering from: “Keyboard is really buggy to not working so I couldn’t get envelopes to work, osc1 is working but something wrong with triangle additional wave shaping, PWM works. Osc2 sounds too low so I think there something with capacitors there. On output only pulse, so need to check triangle waveshaper also. LFO works. Filter works but pots everywhere are almost dead, they need careful cleaning and resoldering. So a great amount of work is needed with it not only soldering but also work with hardware refurbish. Do you still need it?” Bwaahahahahahaha!! I said “yeah!” And so, here we are. First thing I decided to unfuck was this:

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?!?! I had the same deal on a DW-8000 I just flipped here a month or two ago. But that’s not it, ohhhhh no, it was even scarier on the inside!!!!

The wires were being held together with scotch tape!!!?? Fucking Holy Electrocution By A Russian Synth, Batman! I wanna just yank the socket and put a standard jobby in but the frame is damn near 2mm thick, and it’s fucking STEEL, so cutting/filing is Not Going To Be An Easy Job, so I’m still on the fence as to how to remedy the Power Cable Connector Conundrum.

Next job was replacing all the electrolytic capacitors. Not a super hard job, but I started noticing that the values of components on the schematics and those in the actual synth in front of me did not match. That, and what looked like a polarized electrolytic on the schemo was in fact a Gifuckingnormous mylar or in some cases poly cap. What?! Jeez. And then I found this:

Milk carton time. Have You Seen Me? MISSING CAPACITOR! I was like, you have gotta be shitting me. And the fucker wasn’t rattling around loose inside the synth either!? And there are vacant areas on the Generator 1 (VCO1) daughterboard where the schematic shows capacitors should be. What, they run out at the factory and just decide “fugg eet, no capahceetorz for you, comrade synth!” or what? And that ain’t all the shenanigans going on with that board either! Get a load of this!

What the Jumping Fuck On A Stick is this Soviet Spaghetti here?!?! Flying resistors tied together with a goddam chunky diode thrown in for WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHY!!??!? All I could do was shake my head. After some minutes of being rendered absolutely speechless had passed, I cleaned the menagerie of components up, just reflowing solder and nudging stuff closer to the board, really. But what the hell is up with this? Seriously if anyone out there has ideas, I am all ears!

I gave up on that board for the time being and then went about replacing all the switches that had their business ends broken off. Egor kindly supplied me with more than enough of the same type switches he got from Bog Knows Where. They all work now (mechanically anyway). The hardest thing was the Generator 1 Waveform Selector Assembly, as it has three switches that are mechanically interlinked, so when you press a new one down, the currently pressed down one will pop up—meaning only one selection can be made at a time. I uncovered the secrets of the inner workings of the assembly after desoldering the three switches and removing the whole shebang. I also discovered that the switch actuators themselves are different, as you can see below:

On the right, with bee-you-tee-full blue base, is an original switch from that assembly. On the left, a typical (standard?) switch. Same electrical connections and pinout (check out those legs! and on both sides too!!) so whatever. The actuators in front are broken ones from two of the three blue switches (I was letting them set after carefully superglueing them back together). See how they have little grooves in them? Those are there to slide a spring-loaded metal inner-faceplate along that then forces the other switches up when you press one down. Anyway, I swapped the blue ones out with the all-brown ones, so maybe if I get the Generator board working again, it’ll be possible to engage more than one waveform at a time. I’ve read reviews of this synth that say doing just that is possible, so I dunno what gives.

After some general cleaning and reflowing of sketchy looking solder, I was ready to plug it in to my step-up transformer and duck for cover. No explosions or smoke or arcs of unbridled electricity occured, thankfully. Oh I forgot to mention I replaced the 5-pin DIN main out with a standard 1/4” jack. Yeah. So I turned it on, the power LED came on, and the LFO LED lit up and cycled on and off properly, and the speed changed accordingly when I twiddled the speed knob so that was reassuring. But, no sound and no response from any key, period. I could make the LFO send the filter into near self-oscillation, but even that was super, super quiet. Nothing happened when I raised or lowered the Gen 1, Gen 2 or Noise knobs in the Mixer section. Oh well. Kind of a big let down. But I knew what I was in for when I started all this. In any case, I dunno where or how I’m gonna start troubleshooting this thing. OH and I found a loose wire too! One side is soldered to the switch in the LFO section that selects filter or Generator as the LFO’s destination. No idea where the other end belongs soldered up to. The schematics aren’t as easy to decipher as those of the Polivoks either, so there’s that to deal with too. In any case, I don’t expect I’ll have her up and running again all that soon. And as I said before, anyone out there with experience refurbing/resurrecting an Alisa 1387, feel free to chime in, as I’d really appreciate it!

To Be Continued.

#fucktrump #synth repair #Alisa 1387 #Soviet Synth #Help #aaaargh

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mascaca · 6 years

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Fugges (aka the Rap Translators aka Tranzlator Crew) - Boof Baf

I'm Chill-Master-Nell of a thousand emcees But how are you gonna tell the real rappers from these phonies Cause he sees everyone with a deal with a record company They go home, they write a rhyme, they think they ready to battle better Some write forward, some write backward I wait for them to get the cheeba-ganja then reverse yo With a verse that's worse than the last one Some say BOO! he's the po he used to diss Jamaicans And Hatians cause you thought I was American Ay Pras, remember that song they sang, YEAH!! Go back to Jamaica, what's good is what's new But now we move off with Uncle's with a trail-crate of COOLER!!

I'm from the island, the island I'm from is the strong island Emcees must be right, when I syke from lack of freestylin' Mind must be sharp until my holler girl, I get all in Black stylin', ridin', Boof'll be trappin' When they come to battle champ see the shoes flappin' Huh, coolin' while I'm rappin'

(BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try (BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try

Said if you write with pencil you must write with (PEN!) If you have a rooster you must have a (HEN!) Five plus five you know that equals to (TEN!) Then spit the yellow man, check it to groove-to-groove site

One, two, I throw a flow to catch it Three, four, back she know before the track miss I FUCK ya when style go, to wreck this static (But yo sister, grab the mic and do damage!!) (Lauryn Hill) Aiyyo I used to drive a hooptie, check me now Snoopy Rollin' with the Jones' but I different home alone See life's got no value if I ain't got no statue Hannibal heads, I be the kid from "Timbuktu" One, two, zip me-me, check the mic I'm ready Three, four, please the army - "Oh God", with Uzi's So what came first man, the chicken or the hoodie? If the, hoodie came first then mans' name would be Nancy To kill the Jesse James rough, step back, check your stance I'll let you feel me like the chi-chi-woo-woo-boogie-man You say I'm balanced but you're Silence of the Lambs And when I call your name I say Candyman, Candyman, Candyman (Yes I can, can, yes, I can, can)

(BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try (BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try

Well I'm on fire (FIRE), FIRE (FIRE), FIRE (FIRE) So let me re-light your viacom And let you enter the-the-elec-tronic (COOL!!) [x4] All that movin' I call my nozzle you see I was an electronic You listen to your lyrics in chime - your Panasonic The ly-ly-ly-lyricaler, the di-di-di-digital Pras take the mic man, you know you're really critical

Stall emcees, soft, put 'em up for-ah Death Row (yeah) Rhyme and cultural, style and never old Slashed the priest-fool, ooh, you're filth-swolled

I say no to spliff but my friends still smoke ?Juano? Coolin' it, coolin' it, coolin' it Somebody chuck me-who the who'd you think? Hold the mic, hold the mic, I shoot 'em Down with my last one, last one, last one, last one and (Boo-shoo-coo-coo!!) SMOKE!! I got my bullet-proof and now to send my bozack

(BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try (BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try

This rap goes for the brothers in the neigborhood Who used to rap on a Polaroid - here comes Father Joe Let me clock the block as I pull fo'-five Boof Baf - I cut the block but got stopped I used to play hookie just to see how good an emcee was He said I bust a battle - aight, I still took a gun No cheeba, cheeba just a Libra on a natural high I waited so long to come out I died and came back alive So hear the spirits, many fear us, a new style son This the new thing under the Sun, when I come, I come Bam-bam, alakazam, he grabbed the pocket book, they ran, I came back with the bag Cause that's my momma man I'm just patrollin', Boof Baf'n the block But the spot that I clock, you get shot if your numbers' about So don't get caught in the fast lane, the fast lane A just remain yourself and be the same Cause many rapper-days, say nuttin' for nuttin' So here's sut-um to take you from the am to the pm (Pras) Cause a imitator could never be greater than the creator Whose the originator, step up infiltrator See you later alligator - back stabbin' traitor Tape recorder, duplicator, roughly rhymin' with the head tranzlator, hah! AND LEAVE THE FORTY TO BE NAUGHTY IN THE FRIDGERATOR!!!

(BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try (BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try (BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck punk, try (BOOF BAF!!), another sound of a guy (BOOF BAF!!), never boy, duck

Say gun-man (BOOF BAF!!) say tell me where you get your damn gun from (BOOF BAF!!) You musta get it from the foreign land (BOOF BAF!!) We want to shoot up the old a Babylon (BOOF BAF!!) Pay the man to rhyme onto it Say gun-man (BOOF BAF!!) say tell me where you get your damn gun from (BOOF BAF!!) You musta get it from the foreign land (BOOF BAF!!) You want to kill your own brother man (BOOF BAF!!), ay, ay, ay (BOOF BAF!!)

#fugees #lauren hill #wyclef jean #pras michel #Ronald Khalis Bell #koolandthegang #kool & the gang #The Rap Translators #Tranzlator Crew #hiphop #1994 #Blunted on Reality

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