#I’m known for my batshit insane breakups which is pretty impressive considering I am literally that guy from SpongeBob with glass bones

[dark-elf-writes]

I need to get you a bubble. A nice sturdy bubble with titanium plates and sharp spikes so u don’t look like a fucking nerd

If you think my medical history is wild I promise you my breakup stories are so much worse.

#the elf talks #I’m known for my batshit insane breakups which is pretty impressive considering I am literally that guy from SpongeBob with glass bones #I mean I think they’re all hilarious but no one else around me does. #except for the guy that asked me if I was turning more lesbian that I dumped right before his birthday #good times #or the stories about growing up with my dad but those are rife with child abuse and neglect and most people really don’t think they’re funny #I mean I do but like #again it’s apparently concerning #I’ve lived a weird life