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dantelionwishes · 3 years

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life is full of ups and downs downs downs downs dow

loredump under the cut. not kidding when I say its gonna be long!

oh shit you actually clicked keep reading thank you for your interest 😭😭😭

YOU KNOW THE DRILL tw // suggestive dont read ahead if youre uncomfortable with the topic of aphrodisiacs!

MIDDLE SCHOOL

before anything, I gotta explain he was born to parents who had an infatuation quirk (makes them hardcore fall in love with you) and an infection quirk (transmits a virus via saliva)

developed his quirk late, since they usually get it by the time kids are four

most people knew him as quirkless before the first incident

in middle school, his class was preparing for a school play, he and his classmate got cast as the main lead prince and princess

coincidentally, they both had a crush on each other and had a scene where they kissed

technically they weren’t supposed to, since its just a play, but one time they were practicing in private and wanted to try kissing “for real”

so they shared a super giggly cute middle school first kiss but well UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM HIS QUIRK HAD WELL DEVELOPED–

BADABING BADABOOM YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION USE IT

the only way for the quirk’s effects to go away is to come at least once or pleasuring yourself until it goes away

I DO NOT WANT TO IMAGINE IT BUT. IMAGINE BEING A TEACHER AND FINDING A MIDDLE SCHOOLER WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER AND AN ADULT IS FORCED TO TELL HER HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY LLLLIKE–

rip now that I’m thinking abt it, I don’t even think anybody would even kNOW HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY so lets imagine she painfully stays that way until they figure out how to make it stop :^(

there’s a big fight that happens between the teachers, principal, and parents of both parties

of course the crush’s parents got mad and called their kid a fuckin uhhhhh sexual predator or some shit despite also beING THE SAME AGE AND NOT EVEN KNOWING ABT HIS OWN QUIRK LIKE HELLLO

obviously an incident like this is going to spread like wildfire but the principal does not want something like this to leak, especially since it was not on purpose and was a total accident

the other kid’s parents and some teachers did not feel comfortable however, and sato was forced to drop out

but not wanting to spread the gossip about their son’s quirk and the incident, they leave the town and move someplace else

thankfully, the principal gives the sato family his good grades and a recommendation to a decent highschool for the trouble

they’re originally from osaka, but moved to tokyo

this is where they start taking precautions with sato, basically teaching him to be careful with his saliva

it was easily taught and learned esp since the mom was already like that around him and others everyday anyway!! she has to take care of her saliva-based infection quirk, after all

HIGH SCHOOL

he got enrolled into a regular highschool in tokyo

no hero course, no support course, no business, just a regular ol’ school

if before, he loved surrounding himself with people, this was where he was forced to develop a lonely disposition to protect himself and others

at least his parents were very protective and supportive of him and they were generally a happy family!

but in school, pretending to be quirkless was just as difficult, getting bullied or pitied for having no special abilities

his excuse for wearing a mask all the time was because his mother had a virus-related quirk, and had to be careful

one day his dad was suddenly got really, really sick

the more he had an excuse to wear a mask because he didnt want to get whatever disease his father started to develop

sato started thinking it could be his mother (but why?) the results didn’t say anything about an unknown virus killing him (which is his mom’s quirk), and that his father really did contract a strong yet very normal disease

while on his second year in highschool, his father, yozo sato, died

apparently, without him knowing anything about his parents, his mother, oba sato, was actually under the dad’s infatuation quirk this whole time

she realised she wasn’t really in love with him when oba had accidentally allowed a drop of her saliva to fall into the meal she was making him, making him sick, and therefore making him weak enough to deactivate his quirk on her

oba, back in her college years, wanted to marry someone else but yozo, who had a crush on her wanted her to himself, used his quirk to make him fall in love with her

so in revenge for making her put up with him all these years to the point of marriage and having a kid, she continued to do this to his food

her quirk doesn’t make anybody sick enough to die, but it made her husband’s immune system weak enough to the point that it contracted a real, serious disease which he ended up dying from instead

sato only finds out the real story when he graduates from highschool, days right after his graduation the mom confesses it all

she does say she truly loves him, but can’t stay around him knowing he was technically “unconsensual love”

sato gets reminded of what his quirk does, and true enough, that’s what him and his quirk turned out to be (a sick combination of his mom and his dad)

they cant bear to be around each other after that revelation and decide to just not see each other again

COLLEGE YEARS

he enrolls into an education course, inspired by the kind principal who helped him finish his middleschool-highschool education when it all started going downhill

sato struggles paying for his college fees esp since he doesn’t exactly have his parents supporting him anymore, nor any contact with immediate family

he has a lot of part time jobs that go all around the clock, he continues pretending to be quirkless so he gets bullied, and has to deal with all that emotional baggage plus being alone so…….clearly my man is TIRED as hell

his side job hustles include: convenience store cashier, bookstore attendant, bar bouncer, and rookie gym trainer (he went to the local gym long enough for him to get recommended a job as a trainer)

college was that point where he starts developing a hardcore yearning for a companion because oh my god hes so lonELY (but cant)

ANYWAY SO

there’s this bully guy who always picks on him in college (for being “quirkless” and a loner and overall a fuckin weirdo with a mask)

tbh sato doesnt really give a shit he’s so used to it but he doesnt have his mother as an excuse to wear the mask anymore, this is where he starts forming the “I have bad breath” excuse

“口臭い” (kuchi kusai) translates to “bad breath” or “stinky mouth” so sato unlovingly gets nicknamed “kusato”

one day he’s walking around the campus at night and finds the bully with his gang cornering another quirkless student, with plans of assaulting her

sato was never the hero type, and was about to ignore the commotion as to not get involved, but something in him moved on its own and he found himself face to face with the gang

he confronts them, but the bully mocks both him and the girl for not having powers to stop them anyway

SIKE BITCH sato’s able to easily strike the other two guys, knock them off their feet enough to be able to tug the to-be victim aside, telling her to report them, before asking her to run away as fast as she can

none of the guys want that (they’re all students) so they have a full on brawl (and this isnt hero academy, its a totally normal university so I wouldn’t assume these guys had very impressive quirks)

except the main bully actually has a pretty decent quirk (he’s like a kinda half human half dragon with sharp claws, scales, and dragon eyes) and gets to injure sato with his sharp claws, seriously injuring his face

a part of his ear is also sort of sliced off, which is how his mask gets accidentally removed in the process

the dragon bully grabs him by the collar and starts angrily shouting at him for ruining his night, being able to do all this shit without a quirk and all and all other derogatory speech

“Well? what do you have to say for yourself?!“

Sato stays silent before spitting right into the bully’s mouth

The bully drops him immediately, about to angrily fuck him up for doing something super fucking gross but WHOOP WHOOP YOU KNOW WHATS BOUTTA HAPPEN the quirk works immediately and the bully is a TOTAL MESS on the ground

Im going to TLDR this part cos its…obviously nsfw but like: sato fully embarrasses him in public (beside the bully’s two colleges nonetheless)

sato stays in the hospital for some time to heal from his wounds

fortunately, afterwards, the bullies all get expelled

unfortunately for sato, he also gets expelled for engaging in bad behaviour, and the bully did say what happened to him (and the college principal did not want his…dangerous quirk on campus) so as to lower any incident, all four were expelled

at least without having to pay for college fees anymore, he could fully focus on paying for food, shelter, and clothes

minus of course the hospital bills needed to pay plus he got a sick ass scar from it anyway HAHAHAHA BSDJHJRHDHF

ADULT LIFE

he had a lot of jobs here and there, but was more or less doing best as a trainer at a local gym where people weren’t allowed to use their quirks and strengthen their body regularly

a few years went by and he eventually shrugged off everything that happened in his final college years but one day someone familiar walked into the gym! It was the fellow college student he saved!!!

she became a policewoman who wanted to get stronger in this quirkless friendly gym and hadn’t given up on her dreams of being a “hero,” inspired by how sato saved her that day

sato never really saw himself as some hero, he was left many nights alone thinking about how easily he could become a villain with his quirk, so hearing that really made him happy

he trains her as her gym coach and she eventually asks him to join her patrol this small part of the city from a gang that was currently going around doing crimes since he’s good at it anyway, saying she could use some extra hands hehe

so yeah!! he does this side gig with her where he patrols alongside her looking for gang crimes and such c:

AND ONE DAY. [WISTFUL SIGH] ONE DAY. HE FINDS SOMEBODY GETTING MUGGED BY A GANG MEMBER AND SAVES………A CERTAIN MAN–

thank you for reading all the way here!!!

feel free to ask for questions or for any clarifications 😭😭😭!!!!!!

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha oc comeback #mha #bnha oc #mha oc #lionhe(art)#I know I havent exactly written stuff from meeting toshinori onwards #but thats for another day!!#I only ever wrote Sato's backstory pre meeting all might #yet all I drew as a teen was them as a couple lMAOOO #idk if anyone would wanna read that but honestly iM SURE THE STUDENTS WANT THAT SPICY RELATIONSHIP INFO JHSDJGHAJHJK #my 17-year old self would have been happy in my place ;;3;; !!!!!#i finally got to share his lore!! that was a lot so if you seriously read it all thank you so much aaaaaaaaaaaa #Osamu sato-sensei

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skywalkersapprentice · 5 years

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so when I saw infinity war the second time, i brought a pen and a notebook with me and took notes in the dark the whole time. for my second endgame viewing yesterday, i did the same. i now present to you my Thoughts About Endgame. (this is. long.)

Major Spoilers Ahead.

okay seriously, nobody called clint up when there was a giant invasion in wakanda??? nobody???

also it was daytime in wakanda when the snap happened. it’s also daytime wherever clint is in america when the snap happens. someone explain.

god the dawning panic when clint realizes his family is gone. that whole scene is so empty and unsettling, it was shot really well

i automatically associate 80s music with space thanks to marvel.

tony stark adopting strays everywhere he goes since 2013.... i love this about him

nebula finally got to win something!!!! “it was fun.”

and then she gives him their final ration. i’m- :((((

back on earth..... thank god the beard is gone.

“I lost the kid” tony’s face wow that’s devastating, no thanks

“Is um...” what was tony going to say after that??

“I thought you were a build-a-bear.” “Maybe I am.” fuckign.... tony please sdfgdfg

“And I needed you.” tony :(((

“No trust. Liar.” this entire scene is just. chilling. heartbreaking. tony has nothing left for anyone, and especially nothing left for steve, except-

him ripping the metaphorical heart out of his chest and handing it to steve made me literally gasp the first time i watched this film. i feel like it hasn’t been talked about enough, but it’s incredibly poetic.

“where are you going?” “to kill thanos” i haven’t seen captain marvel but i’m already in love with carol danvers

and now they have hope, they still think they can bring everyone back... what a dangerous thing

suddenly steve is looking at his locket of peggy all the time.starting in this film only. can we let him grieve for his actual friends?? you know, the ones he just lost? does he even mention sam or bucky in the entire film? alright russos, i have several bones to pick with you about this, but alright....

i gotta say, when i first watched this i was astounded that thanos destroyed the stones and then got beheaded in the first twenty minutes. it really left me wondering, well- what now? and that was exciting.

five years later. i mean, we knew there would be a time jump, but i wasn’t expecting this.

we’re really calling this cameo by russo representation huh

lol

and like??? steve brings up nobody he lost in the snap, instead chosing to focus on “the love of his life” that he met and lost in 1945. this struck me as odd the first time i watched and now i’m like. man they’re really trying 2 justify their later decision, huh

so they’re calling those who were snapped “The Vanished” according to the sanfran memorial

avengers r still a thing and their complex has actually grown in size?? who is funding this. is it tony

my next note just says HAIR SDFDSDFG aka heLLO carol danvers

nat :((((

crying and eating a sandwich is a mood

god. the quiet grief

natasha romanoff has come such a long way from her introduction in iron man 2. she cries freely, loves her family, actively wants to be a better person, even if a lot of her family isn’t around today. i just- love her so much.

“we both need to get a life.” “you first.” goddamnit

i.... love happy, peaceful, good dad Tony Stark, so much.

“define lunch or be disintegrated” morgan h stark is so cute

“you like going in the garage, huh? so does daddy.” tony was already so proud of her god i just :((((

me, zooming in on nat: ARROW NECKLACE

does she only wear that when she’s missing clint, or

I’m truly in my feelings about Tony being The Best Dad

Bruce apparently spent 18 months in a gamma lab, which is interesting.

god the scene with the kids asking for a selfie was so cringe are you telling me they could include this but steve couldn’t mourn for his friends

tony does dishes now. a true housedad.

that’s!!!! his first son!!!!!! :((((((

can you believe it was peter parker who pushed tony to invent time travel

“i’ve got something on my mind.” “is it juice pops?” i’m just thinking now about how howard most definitely would have sent tony straight to bed, but tony lets morgan stay up and eat juice pops with him. this is just. straight up great content.

“I love you 3000″ can you just. his face when she says that. also i’m never getting over that phrase ever

“I can stop,” Tony says, on the brink of inventing time travel.

“But would you be able to rest?” says Pepper, who has been trying and failing to get him to stop for a good 15 years.

the parallels between this and her last words to tony. ouch.

this is such a good and steady relationship now :(.

sdfgfdfg why is steve dressing like he’s from the 40s again is this a visual sign of his regression

god they did thor so dirty in this film. not with his character- him falling into great depression and having ptsd is not a bad thing, but treating it like a joke is. the audience is invited to laugh at him. Bad.

thor threatening “noobmaster69″ over the headset for his rock friend is very funny though.

hey tokyo looks alright compared to a lot of america.

every single clintasha scene in this film kills the man.

also everyone knows thanos’s name. i assume that means the world knows why everyone disappeared.

“you’re only a genius on earth” yeah but who invented time travel, rocket

rhodey wanting to straight up murder baby thanos is hilarious

the explanations of time travel in this film give me a headache

“TIME HEIST BRAINSTORMING SESSION”

bruce, nat and tony all laying around throwing ideas back and forth.... this movie is valid sometimes

“see you in a minute,” natasha says, and she’s smiling.

this is her family you guys :(((((

NEW YORK 2012

MY FAVOURITE SCENE

omg bruce making such a halfhearted attempt at smashing things please i love

okay cut to 2013 Asgard, and Thor sneaks right by his currently dead brother without even looking at him. this movie confuses me

fuck the scene where rocket slaps thor for having a panic attack. i’m glad thor ended up abandoning him.

okay so everything important happens between 2012-2014

cap/tony/scott, clintasha, nebula/rhodey.... these are such ideal teamups

“we’re a long way from budapest” give me my clintasha movie, marvel!!!

okay back in 2012, HOW did JARVIS not register the fact that there were two steves and two tonys in Stark Tower

god this entire scene is fucking hilarious the entire mcu was worth everything for the 2012 time travel scene

fuckign.... loki

ELEVATOR SCENE

as a cap 2 stan i feel so validated

HA IL HYDRA

WHEN I SAY I GASPED IN DELIGHT

CAP VS CAP

“I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY”

“YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW”

sadfgfdfg are u really telling me that cap takes the peggy locket everywhere

BUCKY IS ALIVE

THAT IS AMERICAS ASS SDFGFSDF PLEASE

2012 avengers best avengers

meanwhile the sorcerer lady is giving bruce a time travel lesson and i didn’t understand any of it but basically each reality requires six stones in order to not be torn apart by the forces of darkness? ??

I’m just glad thor got some kind of closure by talking to his mom

side note you can definitely tell that frigga raised loki

“EAT A SALAD”

“i’m still worthy” asdfgfdf yeah but now this timeline thor has no hammer!!!

QUILL SDFGFDSDFGHFDS

this movie is so entertaining

i live for nebula and rhodey just judging everyone

so do the guardians just.... not happen in the 2014 timeline?

gamora is ready to Fight thanos when the maw threatens nebula

was that young alexander pierce headed underground in 1970?

bone 2 pick with this whole time travel thing

thor got closure by talking to his mom

tony got closure by talking to his dad

steve saw peggy working, successful and thriving, through a window. closure where????

he should have gotten a chance to talk to her and received closure that way.

hank pym is an asshole but i guess we already knew that

“my wife is expecting” so tony was born 1970/1971 ig

howard’s dad beat him with a belt. i suppose every stark does a little better parenting-wise

Jarvis!!!!!!! agent carter is canon!!!!

vormir oh god here we go

“under different circumstances, this would be totally awesome” i’m inclined to agree with clint

this part goddamit

handholding :((((

my next note just says “aveng ers 1 paralels fu k”

the way this was filmed was beautiful. the colours, the lighting, the acting, the dialogue, the parallels to the first clintasha fight in avengers 1..... if natasha had to die, this was.... a good death, i think.

“damn you!”

“it’s okay.”

clint is begging her this hurts so much :(((

god. tears.

clint just sobbing in the water with the soul stone in his hand hits some kind of way

where is natasha’s funeral, huh??? why does steve shed like one (1) tear?

also why does the gauntlet need to physically be snapped like what does that dO

i just realized that thor’s fake eye is amber.

Infinity Stones:

almost killed thanos after 2 uses

destroyed bruce’s arm

killed tony

imagine an alternate scene where all six original avengers survived until this point and all of them held one stone as they snapped thanos’s army out of existence. that would have been the ultimate fanservice and i would have astral projected. anyway we’re getting off topic

“don’t change anything from the last five years.” what tony means is “please don’t erase my daughter”.

SNAP

yay they did it except-

how did everyone survive thanos blowing up the avengers compound

2014 gamora sounds just- slightly different than 2018 gamora. a little harsher. the guardians haven’t yet softened her edges.

“we become sisters” and suddenly gamora has hope

i- did that lightning just braid thor’s hair sdfgdsdfgh

this is a harsher thanos. thanos who died in 2018 had been changed. weakened, maybe.

thor, cap and tony fought in avengers one. now, they’re fighting thanos together.

l just. love that clint has a sword now.

“he won’t let me” nebula.... :(((((( and she dies crying

i have a note here that says “thor’s lightning + tony = c o o l”

STEVE WITH MJOLNIR

ASDFGFSDF FUCK THIS WAS WORTH EVERYTHING MARVEL HAS EVER PUT ME THROUGH

LIGHTNING POWERS

i LIVE

oooh it’s personal for thanos now

YOUR

LEFT

the portals scene fUCK

this is just. worth it. on every level.

PETER AND TONY

“this is nice” please :((((((

poor peter quill gets snapped, gamora’s loss fresh in his mind, then he thinks he’s gotten her back and she’s not the gamora he knew. ouch.

tell me why everyone but steve gets a reunion scene lol

peter introducing himself to everyone!!!! he’s so sweet.

CAPTAIN MARVEL HAS ARRIVED

i’m gay. oh my god.

hhhhgn hair

GIRLS

this is fanservice!!! as in, i am a fan and i feel fuckign SERVICED

thor duel welding mjolnir and stormbreaker is AWESOME.

strange holds up one finger. tony gives a look of heartbreaking acceptance.

god. tony stark, you brave, brave man. he knew he wasn’t going to survive this one.

“I am inevitable.”

“I. am. Iron Man.”

SNAP (2)

you lose, thanos.

but also, i lose, because oh god tony.

peter :(((

“Mr Stark!”

“Sir!!”

“Tony!!”

oh. fuck.

“you can rest now” do you SEE the parallels to the earlier conversation between tony and pepper :(((

the arc reactor going out physically broke me

i didn’t take many notes after this because i was literally sobbing lol

“I love you 3000″ stabs me again

“proof that tony stark has a heart” yes well my heart is breaking

happy :((( is morgan’s jarvis :(((((

Queen!!!! Valkyrie!!!

this dick measuring contest between Quill and Thor got old five hours of content ago.

:))))) rage time :))))))

bruce tried to bring back nat with the snap :(((

oh god bucky.

his face!!!!! his voice!!!! he’s trying to be strong and find but he looks dead inside

i just- fuck. he knew and he let steve go.

why did he show up on that bench i don’t understand

“I’m happy for you” are you telling me sam wasn’t the least bit hurt or mad

the ONLY good thing about this is Captain Sam

fuck steve tho

what year is this dance in

i mean. it’s sweet. but this is not steve.

I think i’ve talked enough about my dislike of the direction steve’s character went in in this film. that was the major point of dislike for me, but given that the council has made a stupid ass decision i’ve elected to ignore it. i understand that both tony and steve had to make their exist from the franchise here, but.... there were better ways to go about that.

i think a few different relationships slipped through the cracks here- characters suddenly grieving people they haven’t seen in /years/ and completely ignoring others who only recently died was a big one for me. but other characters saw a lot of development- nebula was a favourite of mine in this film, which i was not expecting! she and rhodey made a really good team- i feel like they understand one another.

the Original Six all saw a decent amount of screen time, which i appreciated. nobody got left behind there. there were so many references to other films that i know i didn’t catch them all, but it really made this movie seem like a love letter to the fans.

i want to make it clear that i actually loved most of this film. i think it was a good send off for the avengers and i love a good time travel plot (like, it’s one of my all-time favourite tropes. i was vibrating with excitement in the theater during the 2012 scenes.) i went in expecting a lot of the emotion to be sidelined in favor of plot and action, and while that happened a little bit, i was overall pleasantly surprised with the amount of emotion that they fit into this film. characterization and emotion is perhaps even more important to me than a good plot, and this film got the emotion down.

it’s definitely not a perfect film but it could have been so much worse, so i’m grateful that we got a good sendoff for the avengers.

7/10.

#endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #marvel #spoilers #shelby reviews movies #it took me two hours to write this out bye

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emotionalcello-makefanfics · 5 years

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Chapters: 1/6 Fandom: ヒプノシスマイク | Hypnosis Mic (Albums) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aohitsugi Samatoki/Yamada Ichiro, slight Busujima Mason Rio/Yamada Saburo Characters: Yamada Jiro (Hypnosis Mic), Yamada Ichiro, Yamada Saburo, Aohitsugi Samatoki, Aohitsugi Nemu, Jinguji Jakurai, Izanami Hifumi, Kannonzaka Doppo, Mentioned Doppo's brother, Iruma Jyuto Additional Tags: Yamada Ichiro-centric, Probably ooc, Definitely OOC, Cringe, Cheesy, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Self-Indulgent, Very brotherly Ichiro, Not the canon Ichiro that neglect his brothers at first, No Mic, Alternate Universe - No Powers, No literally crushing each other with fire raps please, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, The Author Regrets Nothing, Red String of Fate, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Not Canon Compliant, Dress Up, You'll know why I put that tag, I love Jyuto's red gloves, Graphic Wounds Series: Part 2 of Hypmic Red Strings of Fate : The Yamada's Summary:

Side story of 'All I Ever Wanted'. Can be read separately. I think.

A story covering the background of Ichiro and Samatoki's relationship. They're soulmates, but in front of his brothers, the pair always fight until they draw blood. They're supposed to be perfect together, but they never meet again when after that one fight.

A story takes Ichiro's perspective of the relationship, things that his brothers will ever know. It's been five years since the fight, and they never meet after that. Things he didn't want to remember came in dreams, like punishment for leaving his soulmate and sleeping with another. Dreams about the days before shit happens, before they have to separate, before all the disagreement, before they are forced to choose between each other or their family. In reality, Samatoki is not here anymore, so Ichiro tried to get by, no matter how he regrets how he left his soulmate.

----

The soulmate universe is inspired by “You would make a good soldier.” by 6fortius9, check it out!

Click Keep reading to read it on tumblr

Ichiro is used to a full house filled with noise. The only calm he had back then is when he woke up first thing in the morning to get ready ahead of time and prepare breakfast for his brothers. Sometimes for his aunt too when she has the day shift, and sometimes his uncle when he’s home from a long business trip. Even though his aunt and uncle didn’t join the table sometimes, it’s still full of life with Jiro and Saburo are bickering.

Sometimes it’s about a missing jacket they accused each other of stealing when it’s actually in the laundry, fighting over the warm shower, or any other thing they manage to disagree on.

Most of the reason they fight are petty things that get too far. Like games, and they support an opposite team in sports. Then he will come up from mid cooking with a spatula in hand and threaten them with no food if they don’t make up. Or if Ichiro wasn’t cooking, he’ll grab anything in the room and threaten them with that.

It works most of the times, sometimes the fight is so bad that one of them leaves the room or not talk to each other, but they always manage to go around it. They all do. His aunt is grumpy without her coffee when she wakes up and often pass out by the entrance when she came home. His uncle will pass out on the table in the morning when there’s no breakfast, and when he’s home, he pass out in random rooms too. How did they survive before Ichiro and his brothers came along? He has no idea.

He misses Saburo who went to school in Hokkaido and moving in with Riou, his soulmate. He misses Jiro who’s on an internship abroad so he’ll be closer to his long-distance girlfriend. Ichiro also misses his quirky aunt and gentle uncle.

Ichiro is also grateful that his aunt and uncle came around when their father left. He loves his aunt and uncle, but he misses his dad. He was not a good dad, but Ichiro still misses his dad. He misses his loving and kind dad, the one before his mom died, but it seems like no one else did.

Whenever he feels lonely, he instinctively looks at the red line on his finger, then immediately cursed at himself for looking at it.

“You’re okay?” Ichiro felt his heart leap at the sudden interruption of his daydream.

In front of him is a screen playing a video of an action clip and sound waves at the bottom that he only gets to edit on the first half.

The owner of the deep voice is Jakurai, his purple hair is tied up in a messy bun. His sharp and elegant face seems like he didn’t get too much sleep. Ichiro shrinks under the project manager’s gaze, especially when he just spent a wasteful amount of time daydreaming.

“I’m fine sir, just need some coffee, it’s not done yet,” he says apologetically.

“I’m not here for that, the others are buying Ramen from Kyoko’s stand, you want one?”

At the name of old grandma Kyoko, all his sense rouse excitedly, especially imagining her rich ramen broth and the perfect chew of her noodles and the tender pork strips, oh and the must-have gyoza... the rich and tender filling... light, a little burnt, and crispy on the outside.

“Yes,” Ichiro moaned, a bit too sexually for food.

His project manager, who thankfully already used to his antics, just shook his head and smiled amusedly. He picks up his phone and types away.

“Be down in 20. And take a break Ichiro, you look horrible,” he said, looking horrible himself, and walks away from the room.

Ichiro only now just noticed that he’s alone in the sound editing room. Everyone else must’ve been out to have lunch.

He looks down to the clock on the bottom right of his screen, three pm already, everyone is either having a late lunch or Jakurai is letting them have a longer break, which is impossible. That guy will so far lock the doors to make them all finish according to the deadline. Even so, he’s a respectable leader, and lock himself up with the rest of them.

Ichiro likes it here in Tokyo, working in a film making industry. It’s not far from his aunt’s and uncle’s home, but they’re busy too. It’s been two years since he worked here, he could’ve gone back and forth from Tokyo and Ikebukuro, but it’s more convenient to stay close in a walking distance. As the consequences, he’s homesick often. He misses everyone. He can only put so much family photos on his desk.

There is a picture of him and his brothers with his aunt and uncle on the beach. Ichiro is the one completely buried in the sand, Jiro is in the middle of giving him sand boobs and looks like he’s groping him. Saburo is making his mermaid tail, his aunt is doing a slav squat and pressing her palm together beside him and his uncle is taking the selfie with all that mess. It was funny, and somehow even though Ichiro is the one with boobs, Jiro is the one most embarrassed about this picture.

Then there’s Jiro’s high school graduation with all of the family, and Saburo’s Middle school graduation minus his uncle that can’t leave his work in Egypt, but Riou was there.

Beside it, is a picture of the three of them plus Riou, when he and Jiro went to Hokkaido to visit Riou and Saburo. It was taken on a flower field. He forces Jiro to make a heart together with him and makes Saburo and Riou poses in the middle of the heart. They protested at the cheesiness of the picture but Ichiro knows for a fact that this picture is Riou’s phone home screen.

Behind all that framed photo, he spots one he rarely sees. A picture of him, Jiro, his dad, and his pregnant mom. After Saburo was born, his dad doesn’t want them to take a picture together. Ichiro misses his mom the most, and he still feels like he’ll tear up every time he remembers her. But then he remembers Saburo, that little genius, brave, strong and stubborn little kid that he loves, and Jiro, another stubborn, hot-headed and strong-willed kid.

Maybe she’s gone, but she gave him his precious brothers. For them, he thanks her. He promised her that he’ll take care of them, keeps them safe, and Ichiro will do everything necessary to do so.

He looks at his hand again, the red string on his finger is as stark as ever.

His heartache for a bit, remembering all these things. He picks up his phone and dialed Saburo without any hesitation. Saburo picks up on the second ring.

“Sup Ichi-nii?” he sounds chipper, and that’s honestly all Ichiro needs.

“Just checking in.”

“Uh-huh, you’re lonely aren’t you?”

Ichiro melts on the inside, “Hope I didn’t catch you on a bad time?”

“No, you didn’t. How are you even calling at this hour? Jakurai isn’t breathing down on your neck this time?”

“Strangely he’s not! I’m alone in the room now, everyone is getting lunch.”

“At this hour???”

“Yes, at this hour, c’ mon, my odd hour isn’t news.”

“No it’s not, but you know what’s news?”

“What?” Ichiro finally feels intrigued.

“This New Year holiday I’m coming home with Riou! He finally has New years off.”

“That’s great!” Ichiro exclaimed, grateful that no one is here or he would’ve made ten or so people deaf. “It’s been so long since I met him, you guys doing good?”

“Yeah! I visit his grandparents grave last weekend, and turns out there’s a romantic story behind it.”

“You went to a cemetery and it was romantic, it’s a bit too late for a goth phase, isn’t it?” Ichiro teased.

“Just listen to me first!”

“Alright alright, I’ll listen!” Ichiro chuckled.

“Okay, remember the dog tag that Riou always wears?”

Ichiro remembers, Saburo told him about it years ago. Riou always wears this dog tag, and Ichiro assumed it was his because the man is an ex-navy. Turns out, the dog tag was not Riou’s, it was his grandpa’s, who gave the dog tag to his wife. His wife, Riou’s grandma, already died when he met his grandpa, and then gave the dog tag to Riou so he’ll know that his grandpa loves him even though Riou only meets him for summer break in Hokkaido.

“He thinks he didn’t have a soulmate, until he’s 14 and I came along of course. But when he was a kid he was sad about it, so his grandpa gave him the dog tag. His grandpa told him it was a reminder that he’ll find someone for him even though he didn’t have a soulmate. Because you know, I told you already about Riou’s grandparents right?”

“That they’re not soulmates?”

“Right! His grandpa told him he can return the dog tag to his grandma when Riou finds someone he loves. When we came to their grave, guess what he did.”

Ichiro gasps, “He gave the dog tag back?”

“He gave the dog tag back! I swear that man will be the death of me!”Saburo then squealed, Ichiro chuckled at his little brother’s antics.

Riou’s grandma and grandpa were not soulmates, but they’re happily married for decades and his grandpa still had the red string on his finger until the day he died.

Ichiro already knows this story back when Saburo told him in tears. It was the first time Saburo met Riou, and Riou told him that his little brother doesn’t have to choose him if the age between them is too heavy to bear for Saburo. Even though all that Riou wanted is a soulmate.

In the end, Saburo chooses him. It was the common fairytale-like red string of fate story. Ichiro is glad that Saburo gets to have them. But the story gave hope to someone probably not to someone that Riou might have predicted. It gave hope to Ichiro.

“Ichi-nii?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you really okay?”

He wonders sometimes, but don’t we all? Sometimes we ask ourselves somewhere in life, if we’re okay, or if we’re happy, or if this is the life we want to be having, or if you’re making good choices.

And Ichiro just doesn’t know.

“Yeah! I’m just a bit swamped at work,” Ichiro isn’t totally lying about that.

“Are you sure?” Saburo didn’t sound convinced, of course he doesn’t.

This one particular brother of his is incredibly sharp that it’s scary. He can sniff your emotions no matter how good your lie is. Ichiro is never an exception. Ever since he was little, Saburo was always the first to notice when Ichiro is not his best.

Ichiro debates whether or not he should tell the truth, guess he’s just gonna go for it.

“I’m looking at our family pictures, and I don’t know.”

Saburo sighs at the other end, “Sometimes I worry about you Ichi-nii.”

“Hm? Really, why?”

“You gave up a lot of things for us, and you never let us do the same,” Saburo’s words stir him.

He bites his lips, deeply feeling the guilt that resurfaces.

“I really didn’t,” Ichiro says instead.

“You know Jiro and I are cool with it. You don’t have to protect us anymore.”

Ichiro bites his lips tighter, and it really breaks his heart more than it touched him.

“I know.”

“I’m sorry for bringing it up, we just want you to be happy.”

Ichiro smiled at that, he really does raise his brothers well. That’s all Ichiro needs.

“I am happy.”

+++++++++++

He drops by the 3D animation office before he’s off to walk back to his apartment. Some of the desks are already empty this late, but there is still a few that stays, including his roommate. A ducked redhead sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of the room filled with rows of messy desks. Ichiro walks over to the man who had his eyes open and glued to the screen. So focused that he didn’t notice Ichiro is already in front of him.

“Doppo,” he tried to call gently, but the man jerks away like he’s been shocked by a thunder. He was doing a meticulous work on a woman’s face with Blender app. Yesterday it was only a blop of circle. Ichiro will never know how the heck 3D modeling works.

Doppo had bags on the bags under his eyes, it’s a hard case of bags-ception. It’s been there since Ichiro first meet him, and only had been gaining in color and weight since then. The mug on his desk is half empty and stained badly, the stain wasn't there yesterday.

“It’s 10 PM, are you going back today?” he asked.

Doppo groaned, rubbing his face on his palms roughly.

“I don’t think I ca-”

“Yes! He’s going back with you.” A blond shoots straight upwards from the bunch of desks. Hifumi, allegedly Doppo’s best friend and former roommate, came barging through the desk and chairs in loud clatters and pushes Doppo off his chair.

“No!” Doppo yelled, and get a lot of ‘shh’ noise from the rest of the people there.

“I can’t go back, I have to finish this by today or-”

“You can finish it tomorrow! You’ll sleep on your desk anyway, just go back!” they bicker in a hushed voice.

“I agree, Doppo,” Ichiro grabs Doppo’s jacket that hanged on his chair, “You need to take a warm bath and sleep on a soft surface,” he puts the jacket on Doppo’s shoulder and grabs him by the shoulder, the man in his arm sways as he walks. Yeah, he really should go home.

“I’ll leave him to you!” Hifumi waved, Ichiro gave him an understanding nod and they’re off.

Two years ago, Hifumi wouldn’t even let Ichiro touch him without sending a threatening passive-aggressive comment. He didn’t know when or why he finally stops but Ichiro is relieved a little. Hifumi always said that taking care of Doppo has always been his job ever since they’re kids. But it’s not like Ichiro wanted to replace Hifumi, but what else can he do? The guy is his roommate, he can’t just let the guy drop dead.

Also, kind of a hypocrite of Hifumi to disapprove him in that first days when the guy himself, that let him room with Doppo, moves out from his allegedly precious childhood friend with his soulmate. Though Ichiro can’t really blame Hifumi on that one.

Doppo is unsurprisingly a slob. Hifumi kind of hyped Ichiro up at how much of a slob Doppo is. Shockingly though, it was not as bad as his house. When you live with two busy and always tired adults, and two teenage little brothers in puberty, Doppo is not that bad.

Doppo barely talks to him at first too, but you’ll be surprised how much simple care and attention do to a person. Also, patience, because Doppo doesn’t always reply to you in stressful days. Sometimes he doesn’t want to talk at all for no reason, and it can be frustrating.

Even though right now they’re walking with Doppo’s hand around his shoulder, they’re in no way closer than just good friends. They gave each other respected privacy and doesn’t probe.

One thing that surprised him about Doppo, is that for all the two years he lived with him, not once did he asked about the red line in his pinkie.

Ichiro sits Doppo beside the kotatsu table and the man just plops his head on top of there.

“Don’t sleep yet, I’m preparing the hot bath, have you eaten?”

“I’m not hungry.”Doppo dismissed with a low and tired voice.

“I’m making you eat, I’ll make a...” Ichiro walks over to the fridge and sees what’s left inside he can work on, “Curry it is.”

“I don’t want to eat,” Doppo says firmly this time.

“You will eat, or I won’t wake you up tomorrow.” And that was enough to make Doppo agree, not without showing his dissatisfaction though.

“Fine,” he grumbles.

“Good, I’ll prepare the bath.”

Their apartment is small but it’s enough. The open ‘kitchen’ that only consists of a fridge, a microwave that sits on top of the fridge and the electric stove, and they are pressed against the wall of the bathroom. There’s a small kitchen island that’s as wide as the length of the bathroom wall for cutting stuff and condiments. The bathroom is also painfully small and the only discomfort they have. Just because the bathtub is too small and they can’t completely extend their legs.

The living area only consists of the kotatsu and a small flat-screen TV that they only use on weekends. They have a PS4 console though, through winning the office’s lottery, and they play whenever they can. They only have one bedroom, and they sleep on a futon. The closet is small, barely manage to contain all of Ichiro’s clothes. Can you blame him? He likes cool clothes, and thankfully, Doppo doesn’t have much in that department and allow him to have more closet space.

Some might say it’s awkward for two men to be in one bedroom at night, but Ichiro doesn’t agree with that, at least not with Doppo. When they have their needs, they have a quiet agreement that they need to take it to a love hotel or the place of their partner for the night. Or if they don’t feel like having anyone, take care of it in the bathroom, quietly.

He rarely ever sees Doppo goes out though, when he does, mostly because he sleeps over at the office, but then again, they don’t probe on that stuff.

Ichiro returns from the bathroom to Doppo blinking heavily.

“Don’t sleep yet, the bath is ready.”

Doppo hums, he strips then and there, being butt naked before he walks into the bathroom, leaving a trail of his clothes. He’s not usually like that though, only when sleep-deprived, even so, Ichiro is used to it.

While he’s in the bath, Ichiro makes simple vegetable curry with instant curry block for one plate. Doppo steps out of the bathroom when the curry is done. He’s awake enough to pick his clothes up from the floor and put it in a laundry bag.

Ichiro placed the hot curry with potatoes and carrots on the kotatsu, and Doppo sits there when he’s clearly still wet and only have a towel on his lower half.

“What about you?”

“I already ate lunch and dinner, unlike you, and change to your pajamas before eating,” Ichiro scolds.

“You can’t make me.”

“Are you willing to bet on that?” Ichiro crosses his arms, looking down at Doppo who looks completely exhausted. Ichiro gave up.

“Fine, don’t blame me if you got a cold tomorrow.”

“Please drag me if that happens.”

“Nah.”

“Ichiro!” Doppo groaned.

“No!”

Doppo frowned and reluctantly stood up and walk to the bed room. But then he stops, and he looks back, “Thank you for taking care of me today,” he said.

Ichiro smiled, “You’re welcome.” Then he steps into the bathroom.

Ichiro showers clean and quickly for the long-awaited warm bath. It feels like all the muscle in his body just expands and let loose by the warmth, except his knees that poke out on top of the water. Stupid small bath.

He relaxed for a while, letting his mind think of anything but work. He splashes his knees with the hot water and startled when he sees a lot of red on his arm.

A brand new gush of a scar on his forearm, he can see his bones, and rips of flesh starting from his wrist down to his elbow. Ichiro knows it’s not his because, despite the open and gushing flesh there, he didn’t feel any pain.

His heart pumps a bit harder at the sight. Then not long after, he sees the wound close from the bottom working up to the top. There are two little red dots on each side of the closed wound, he must be getting stitches.

This isn’t the first scare he gets over a scar of his soulmate. The most heartbreaking one was the one on his back when he was eighteen. A thin and long trail of red lines and splotches of red that form a picture of a samurai with a face on an Oni mask surrounded by sakura flowers and peonies.

The wound had healed and disappears without a scar from Ichiro’s back, but the ones on Samatoki’s will leave a scar that lasts forever. As long as he has that tattoo, none of them are safe together, for them and the people around them.

So, Ichiro did what he had to do.

He told that to himself, before his longing gets too deep and turn into regret.

#hypmic #ヒプノシスマイク #hypnosis mic #hypmic ichiro #yamada ichiro #ichiro yamada #hypmic fanfic #samatoki aohitsugi #what's their ship name?#ichisama #Ichisama fanfic #Don't let me drown in this fanbase more than I should #emocel's

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emilyplaysotome · 7 years

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Part 32 - New Beginnings

Down the Voltage Rabbit Hole is an ongoing story about our MC, who could easily be anyone in voltage fandom. She woke up in hospital bed only to discover that she’d somehow been transported Voltage universe.

This story is ongoing, so if you missed a part, or are new to the story, please use the links below to catch yourself up:

https://tinyurl.com/k4rrxna

Part 32 - New Beginnings

I woke up feeling really bloated from what I assumed was my high-sodium lunch of ramen.

I’d slept surprisingly well considering I was in the middle of a public park, and with a small stretch got myself up to check the time. I’d set my alarm for 5:30, which was the latest I needed to get up in order to not be late for my ramen date, and upon glancing at the time was surprised to find that it was 5:29 on the dot.

Walking up at such a specific time made me question if there were bigger forces at play that kept me in this world and ensured my mind stay occupied with the men who lived in it, but at the moment I didn’t have time to analyze how every event here had played out.

Paranoia aside, I wanted to make sure I looked presentable enough for my date and with no public restroom in sight, used my phone’s camera to get a good look at my appearance.

I felt thankful that I’d borrowed Kyohei’s makeup since seeing as how he only bought high-end, premium cosmetics, I looked fresh as a daisy despite everything that had happened.

The walk, combined with the sleep had done wonders for my mood, and having momentarily committed myself to enjoying a date with one of my favorite bachelors in this world, I decided to buy a cheap pack of mints to remove any traces of lingering "morning” breath. I knew that my outfit was not exactly flattering or “date-like” but with little choice in the matter I hopped on the train and made my way to the address Namba had sent me.

Navigating the city had become surprisingly easy for me, and I found myself in a flow state of sorts as I transferred from train to train on my way to the remote ramen stand.

In my world, I’d visited Tokyo and been amazed by the complexity of the city’s transit system which was far less intuitive than the one I was used to in New York. The entire week I’d been there I’d struggled to figure out what train could take me where I needed to go, and had literally gotten lost in Shinjuku station when attempting a transfer.

With that said, it was becoming clear to me that during the time I’d spent in this world I’d assimilated in a way I hadn’t yet processed.

Initially, things had been tricky but after a few days I felt as confident traveling around this city as I had back in New York. In fact, I found myself feeling so comfortable that it worried me to some degree.

Was this just a natural result of living my life here for the past few weeks or was it something more, perhaps...something designed to keep me in this world?

Thoughts surrounding how trapped (versus not trapped) I was swirled in my mind, along with my other problem. In order to keep my distance from the Gods and their mansion, I would need to effectively seduce Namba, and truthfully I was a little worried about that.

For starters, even though I suspected he’d be up for it, a one-night-stand was not how I’d envisioned our first night together.

The reality that I might actually be stuck here was a strong possibility (especially having found no clues at my point of origin), and if that were the case I wasn’t necessarily looking for a one and done with a man like Namba. One night stands were best with a certain type of guy (a guy that was more like Shun), and as free as my attitudes were towards sex and former, I found myself wanting things to be special the first time we did it.

Out of the remaining romantic prospects I had, in my mind Jin Namba had the most potential for a long term relationship.

I had played his route back home and knew that he was much more relaxed in the way he courted a woman, which was something I appreciated especially after dating Hiroshi. As much as he struggled with being divorced and his insecurities surrounding his ability to be in a relationship, at the end of the day all Jin Namba wanted was someone to keep him company.

He was too much of a “man” to admit his loneliness, or how badly he craved that kind of companionship (perhaps at this point he wasn’t truly aware of it himself), and I worried that rushing into bed with him might jeopardize the potential of having a future with him.

With a head and heart suddenly full of anxiety I could feel myself shaking with every step that brought me closer to the ramen stand.

Namba was waiting for me out front, and was as every bit as handsome as I remembered.

Upon seeing me he gave me a wave and with a big smile called out, completely unconcerned as to what the passersby in the area might think. There was something about his middle aged dorkiness which lowered my high levels of anxiety, and I found myself jogging up to him, allowing him to tousle my hair with my knit hat currently stowed in my jacket pocket.

“I see you don’t dress up for dates either Little Bird,” he said with a wink, as he led me to a seat at the counter. “Now I don’t feel so bad.”

“I would have dressed up, but I was out all day and lost track of time.”

“Next time.”

He said it so naturally, as if it was already clear to him that there’d be a next time, and perhaps a time after that. I found the thought comforting, especially now that there was a real possibility I’d never get home, and with a nod I parroted his statement with a, “next time” of my own.

Namba ordered for us (after getting my blessing in doing so), and as we waited for our food he skirted around our age difference, clearly worried that I was bothered by it.

I wasn’t sure why he was being so weird about it all until it came to light that he thought I was much younger than I really was. I teased him mercilessly when I realized that he thought I was straight out of university and he blushed, embarrassed that he’d admitted to entertaining the idea of dating someone over 15 years younger than him.

“I can’t believe you’d go out with someone who didn’t know what a record player was,” I said, continuing my teasing.

“I think you mean cassette player,” he said, “And I wouldn’t! Not really...I just, I liked you and I couldn’t tell!”

“Fair enough. I’ve told I have chronic young face,” I said jokingly, “My whole family has it. My mom is almost 65 but she doesn’t look a day over 30!”

“Young face,” he said with a chuckle. “Do I have that?”

I looked him up and down and then shook my head “no” to which he laughed and messed my hair up in retaliation. It was clear that the physical attraction we had towards each other was very much alive and kicking, and I noticed that even as we traded playful barbs we both found every excuse to touch each other (or at least as much as we could get away with considering we were in public).

The poking, side grabbing, arm holding, and other physical gestures eventually got broken up by our food arriving in front of us, and with chopsticks in hand Jin redirected the conversation back to my parents.

“What do your folks do?”

“Well they’re both retired now, but my mom was a nurse and my dad was an office worker for a big computer company,” I said fondly.

“You see them often?”

The question was like a punch to my gut, and I found myself shaking my head, quickly changing the subject and adding that they were far away in the states and I didn’t want to talk about it for fear I’d get homesick and ruin our date.

Namba gently chided himself for asking such an insensitive question, and took my hand giving it a little rub and a squeeze, commenting that he’d make sure to distract me from all my worries tonight.

It was the perfect answer.

Jin made good on his promise, and from that point on there was little talk about my old life back in the states.

For a man with such a serious job, I found him to be far more of a goofball than I ever thought he could be. Before I knew it, I found myself laughing with him over our bowls of ramen, which I ate without reservation despite the fact that I was feeling more and more bloated with every bite. I tried my best to focus on our conversation, rather than the discomfort of my too tight jeans as I learned about more about the man I was planning on spending the night with.

Since his job was his life, we found ourselves talking about his career trajectory and I discovered that Namba had been in the force since his early 20s.

His father had been an officer as well, and in many ways he felt as if his life had been planned for him upon his arrival into this world. That fact didn’t seem to bother him however, and he’d dedicated his entire life to the force to the point that his commitment to his job had effectively ended his relationship with his ex-wife.

He didn’t go into much detail, and upon inquiring as to why he still wore his wedding ring, he bashfully admitted that he’d gained a bit of weight and couldn’t get it off (which I already knew from his route). Seeing as how he’d resigned himself to a life of bachelordom, he’d given up on getting it removed but assured me if I was bothered by it he’d find a way to get it off.

I told him we could cross that bridge when we got there and jokingly made him promise that he didn’t have a secret wife living somewhere.

“No...no secret wife. I don’t meet many women in general if I’m being honest. None like you, that’s for sure.”

“Like me?”

“Ones with young face who are far smarter than they look. I love a woman who can hold her own...”

He winked before taking a swig of beer, and I knew his playful retort hid the deeper feelings he harbored towards me, which were clearly beginning to develop for both of us.

Despite the fact that there was something so earnest in how he spoke to me, that line (”None like you”) triggered a cacophony of all the similar lines that had been fed to me in this world. The faces of the men who said them flashed through my mind and I broke eye contact as I pictured the way Soryu, Hiroshi, and Hijikata had looked upon delivering theirs.

I was taken out of the date as it began to sink in that without fail, these lines always evoked an emotional response from me that pushed me towards behaving in a way that was impulsive to say the least.

It was as if I simply could not resist being seduced by such kind words having been starved for them back home.

The men here were so forthcoming with their emotions (even if they could be classified as a tsundere of sorts) compared to the ones I’d sat across from on awkward Tinder and OkCupid dates. I thought back to my last committed relationship, when my boyfriend had ruined a peaceful, loving moment after sex by burping in my face, laughing hysterically as if he were the most clever man on the planet. He had been in his late 20s at the time (as had I) and I remember the fury in which I kicked him out of my bed, reeling over the fact that I allowed myself to sleep with such losers.

He had not, nor had any of my prior boyfriends uttered such sweet words in my direction. There had never been any assurance that they loved me deeply, and even the ones I suspected might have cared for me were so emotionally constipated it was difficult for them to muster as much an “I love you” from time to time.

Yet here, it was unthinkable for these men to be so careless.

They certainly refrained from burping and farting in my presence, and seemed to effortlessly walk the line between being reserved emotionally as men are taught to do in our society and being forthcoming with their feelings. This realization caused something in my heart to stir.

It was a feeling of unease.

Upon realizing I’d zoned out, I looked up to discover that Namba was currently studying my face with concern, and I attempted to respond in a way which concealed my unrest.

“You’re sweet, you know that?”

“For an old fart that is…”

“You’re really not that old, you know.”

“Guess it depends who you ask,” he said with a smirk.

“Yep! Oldness is in the eye of the beholder.”

He laughed once more, and I found myself smiling along with him.

For a 40 year old man I found his laugh and mannerisms incredibly cute, and I watched him take his wallet out and leave enough money for both our shares on the counter. In this world his gesture of picking up the check was to be expected, but for me it was a new experience seeing as how back home most of my first dates ended in an awkward dance as far as who was going to pick up what part of the bill.

It was clear to Namba that in no universe would the thought ever cross his mind to make me pay for my portion, and having taken that for granted he offered me his hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“So...where to now Little Bird?”

I took it, pretending to think it over but I knew what I was going to say.

I waited until we were outside, slowly walking in the direction of the train and away from anyone who might overhear. When I was certain we were a good distance from any interlopers, I walked a bit closer to him, allowing our shoulders to touch as I gave his hand a firm squeeze.

“Your place maybe?” I asked quietly.

My response stunned him, literally stopping him in his tracks. I panicked, worried that I’d broken him somehow, and attempted to backtrack - playing it off as “coffee” or “tea” and not what he might think.

His look of surprise quickly gave way to one of mischief and he pulled me close to him, letting me know in his deep, gravely voice that his place sounded like a fantastic idea. It was evident that he was on board for whatever it was I was thinking, and with that he hailed us a cab, unable to wait for the time it would take for a train to arrive.

The second we stepped foot through the door of his condo, his demeanor changed from laid back to something that felt similar to an animal stalking its prey.

He barely finished his tour of the living room before I found myself on his couch, in his arms, and kissing him with the same passion I’d experienced that day on the shooting range. As things continued to escalate at the rapid pace they usually did in this world, we soon moved from his couch to the bedroom, getting completely lost in the moment.

Truthfully, even though I’d slept with Hiroshi a few weeks back, it had felt like an eternity since I’d been touched like this. I was having trouble holding myself back as I reciprocated his desire, running my fingers through his full head of hair, the other wrapped around his neck as he pressed himself into me.

As a woman there's always that fine line you walk between madonna and whore when it comes to the man you are interested in.

With no indication that I’d be able to return to my world, and knowing that if I couldn’t, I very much wanted for there to be a next time (and a time after that) with Jin, I thought it best not to rush into a physical relationship with him. However, at the pace in which we were going, I had a hard time figuring out exactly how I planned on slowing things down.

I had found myself lying on top of his bed, with my limbs tangled in his, kissing him without reservation like a woman possessed. I could feel his weight on me, pressing into me, and I relished the sensation of his lips on mine as I experienced the type of chemistry I’d only read about, which I would describe as effortless and somewhat fantastical.

My mind was filled with nothing but him and if it had it not been for an unexpected visit, I am certain that I would have been unable to restrain myself from sharing a passionate night with Jin Namba.

The moodiness, emotional volatility, and even my bloating were all a direct result of my period, which I suddenly suspected I’d gotten as I was rolling around Jin Namba’s king sized bed. Upon feeling that familiar sensation, I quickly excused myself to go the bathroom and confirmed that I was in fact menstruating.

Though I was obviously used to having my period, the fact that it had taken me by surprise the way that it had caused me to snicker. Since arriving, I’d lost all track of time, and if anything I should have been worried over how late it actually was. The week I’d spent in the 1850s, combined with the two here meant that I was actually 5 days late, and considering how moody I’d been, it really, really, shouldn’t have been a surprise seeing as how my entire life PMS has always hit me hard.

To be honest, I felt immense relief knowing that this world wasn’t causing me to go crazy, and that in all likelihood my feelings towards Zyglavis (while real) were not as intense as I’d thought them to be. In a day or so I’d balance out like I always did, and from there I could recommit myself to knowing, once and for all if getting home was out of the question or not.

For the time being however, I had to deal with the very simple fact that I had just gotten my period and was without pads or tampons. Luckily for me, since it had just started, my underwear hadn’t really gotten dirty, but I knew that time was of the essence.

Even though it was a bit of a long shot, I opened every cabinet in that washroom searching for some remnant of an ex-girlfriend’s left behind feminine hygiene products. When it was clear that Jin’s bathroom was void of all things remotely helpful for a woman who wasn’t carrying an emergency tampon in her coat, I caught my breath and tried to figure out where to take the night from here.

The one thing I was certain of was the fact that I did not want to have a wild night of period sex with a man that I barely knew.

I did not find the act gross in itself, though I knew that some of my friends back home abstained from sex completely when they had theirs. When this fact had come to light we’d all participated in a lively debate surrounding the topic, but nothing that had been said swayed me from my original stance of being pro-period sex. I maintain to this day that it’s perfectly normal (and can can even help relieve cramping), but have learned that it’s more of a hot button topic with both men and women than I initially expected.

With that said, for my first night with someone who I was hoping to maybe start a relationship with, the act in itself seemed far too intimate.

In my opinion, period sex was best had with long term boyfriends or husbands who loved you too much to care about a little blood. By the time you’d engaged in it, you’d seen each other at the mercy of all types of normal bodily functions (such as farting and vomiting), thus making period sex seem insignificant in comparison.

I viewed those first few months of a relationship as a precious time in which both parties pretended that the other person did not engage in what we'd otherwise consider "gross" bodily functions.

It was a time for fantasy and infatuation, so when you did inevitably become comfortable enough to fart in each other's company without so much of an "excuse me", you would have those initial months to fondly look back on. At that point you could turn to your boyfriend as he boasted about the loudness of his flatulence and be able to say, “Remember when we didn’t do that in front of each other?”

At least...that was the kind of relationship I wanted to have with someone one day.

I returned to the bedroom after a few minutes, unsure how honest I wanted to play things with a man who seemed ready to pounce.

This was only our first date, but I considered the fact that Jin was a 40 year old man who had previously lived with a woman. Unless the women of this world were all sterile, it was fair to assume that they too, got their periods from time to time, and having been married I found it unlikely that he would be squeamish about the topic.

“Come here you,” he said from a seated position on the bed, arms outstretched as he tried to ensnare me once more.

“Wait I…”

He pulled me towards him and we started kissing again, but as he tried to get me on the bed I resisted which caused him pull away.

“What is it?” he asked in a husky, breathy whisper.

Our faces were pressed up against each other, and we both breathed heavily in an attempt to recover from the ferocity of our kisses.

“Is there a convenience store around here?”

He pulled away with a befuddled expression and I knew that I’d completely killed the mood.

The silver lining of it all was that I’d been correct about Jin being a man who was mature enough not to care about the fact that I’d gotten my period.

He was obviously disappointed that things wouldn’t progress much further tonight, but being the gentleman that he was, he held my hand the entire way to the convenience store and back where I stocked up on Tompox using the rest of the money in my wallet.

I was relieved that such products even existed in this world considering it was a fact of life that I’d never seen addressed in all my years of playing these games. Even though they existed, they were difficult to locate in the store and after much searching I found them in the very back, on the bottom shelf next to the store’s small condom selection.

It seemed fitting bearing in mind these items were obviously needed, but rarely mentioned in this world.

I grabbed a box and with a "to be continued" placed on the adult activities for the night we found ourselves free to get to know each other once more.

I was happy to see that he wanted to take advantage of our time together, not caring about the unromantic turn our night had taken. I found chatting with him to be easy and while we had removed ourselves from a situation in which we would become physically intimate, I believed that we succeeded in trading it for another.

Being forced to engage in conversation alone made me feel a closeness to him on an emotional level that I’d felt with few others in this world.

Once we returned to his condo and I took care of things, I changed into one of Jin’s t-shirts and a pair of his shorts.

I came out of the bathroom to see him waiting for me in bed and with nothing more than a look he patted the spot next to him and I joined him under the covers. Like we had earlier in the night, on our walk to the store, I cuddled close to him and we chatted, occasionally kissing from time to time but mostly getting to know each other better.

As it grew later and later the conversation came to a natural lull and he used that opportunity to say good night, kissing my temple before rolling over to go to bed. Dissimilar to Hiroshi, he didn't even attempt to hold me all night and with that I wondered if we might be a perfect match.

Being at home, in a bed he was familiar with, Jin fell asleep in no time, snoring quietly as I lay awake without distraction.

Unlike most MC's the length of Jin's eyelashes or his chiseled features which contrasted his cute sleeping face was not enough to keep my mind from returning to the two large elephants in the room.

The first, most obvious elephant was that I was beginning to realize that even though it seemed unlikely I would ever get home, I wasn't ready to throw in the towel just yet. While it was true that I’d found no blatant clues insofar as how I could return, that didn’t mean it was all a lost cause.

Acknowledging that fact led me to my second elephant, which was that tomorrow I'd need to return to the God's mansion.

In addition to needing their help as far as getting myself home, the cost of the Tompox had drained my wallet and it would be impossible for me to go another day with any money. I wasn’t sure if I'd cash Soryu's check or not, and luckily didn't have to make that decision quite yet as I still had a hundred dollars or so balled up in my underwear drawer.

A sigh escaped my lips as I thought about seeing Zyglavis who would be waiting for me, probably angry for literally running away.

It was the first time in hours that I'd thought about him, and when his face flashed through my mind I grimaced, still feeling the pain from earlier which hurt my heart more than I wanted to admit.

I really liked the man next to me, but the truth was that I’d been falling in love with the one that was waiting for me to return. With all the time in the world, I lay awake pondering what I would say to him tomorrow.

Even though I’d already been honest with my feelings, I decided if that tomorrow I would put it all on the table once more.

After all, in order to move on I needed to know the kind of man Zyglavis was in real life. If he was with the MC as I suspected, he’d been shady as hell and unlike the passive, quiet women he was used to, I was going to call him out on everything.

He had led on the wrong woman, and I knew exactly how to make him pay for toying with my emotions so carelessly.

To be continued…in Part 33! http://emilyplaysotome.tumblr.com/post/160333814972/part-33-second-chances

Author’s note, I dedicate this chapter to @untilsmidnight who pushed me to embrace the realness of what many of us go through. Seeing as how these games never address menstruation (outside its relation to pregnancy though I believe that news has always come via test and not period) or the use of protection (the only time I can recall a reference to protection is in one of Takamune’s stories - they are prevented from having sex because he doesn’t have any birth control with him), I wanted to make sure it got addressed as I think it’s crazy that @officialvoltageotome never mentions it.

If you can think of a story that does, feel free to prove me wrong in the comments!

If you’ve enjoyed the story, please show your support by sharing it with a friend or buying me a coffee! My goal is to create an original web series so if you like my characters please consider donating something to help me get it made.

Thanks for reading :)

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Sorry if I missed anyone and let me know if you want to be added/removed!

#voltage fandom #voltage fanfic #voltage fan fiction #her love in the force #her love in the force fanfiction #her love in the force fanfic #jin namba #down the voltage rabbit hole

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3one3 · 7 years

Text

The Sequel - 854

The High Ground

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“D’you like our house?”

“I like Lukas’ playroom, and his bedroom. He’s not the best tour guide, to be truthful. I think he only wanted to show me the rooms he likes best. The others, we skipped.”

“Is that true, Munchkin? You didn’t give Juan the full tour?”

“When is dinnerrrrrrrrrrrrrr?”

“Soon! No whining.”

“What were you doing the whole time if not preparing his dinner?”

Christina rolled her eyes at Juan and showed him that her turkey, spinach, and ricotta meatballs were beginning to brown in the skillet on the stove. He visited her new home in Germany, for the first time, during his two-day break between his club’s summer tour in Asia and the reconvening at Cobham to prepare for the last couple of more local friendlies. André was in Switzerland, on the second leg of his team’s summer travels. The girl shared by the two players was lonely and missed them both even though the one she was married to had only just left again. Having one around was better than none. She collected her Spaniard from the airport just before rush hour, and brought him back to her sprawling new estate to feed Lukas and hand him off to Espen so that she could take the bigger boy out for dinner. Four days of cooking every meal at home after Aachen was enough. Four days of riding clothes and t-shirts with no pants was enough. Christina was ready to put on something nice and go eat something she wouldn’t have to clean up after. Her son didn’t care who had to do the cleaning. He just wanted to eat. She convinced him to give their visitor the tour of the house while she finished up his dinner.

“Anyone home?” Espen shouted from the hall at the opposite end of the house, over the music her employer had playing everywhere. She always used the garage entrance. Everyone did. The practice kept shoes and jackets in the little mudroom instead of letting them infiltrate the house. Christina didn’t reply because she assumed the food would dictate the nanny’s path. “Oh, hey!” said nanny said with a big smile when she got to the living room and noticed Juan. He kissed her cheeks and complimented her tan. Then Lukas objected to someone other than him getting her attention first, so she had to pick him up and spin in a circle- his current favorite activity after trying to ride Spencer, who was sliding into the kitchen from the back door with his brother to see who arrived.

“It’s no less a zoo here than it was in London,” Christina told her friend after Lucky’s brakes failed on the slippery tile floor and he collided with the player’s right leg.

“I like the zoo!” Juan bent down to greet the terriers again, and the rider went back to the cooking. In addition to the turkey meatballs, Lukas was having yellow rice, steamed string beans, and raw carrots, because he all of a sudden hated cooked ones. His mom presented the meal to him in his highchair at the dining room table, and told him Nanny Espen was going to eat with him and that she’d see him in the morning. It hurt her heart that he didn’t seem to mind that she wasn’t going to help him eat or do bedtime with him. That he just said “Okay, Mommy” made her feel like he was too used to her not being around. When she shared this concern with her best friend, he told her she was being ridiculous and reminded her that she was just with Lukas for two weeks straight and then plenty of days in between her other travels. He also asked her if she was already trying to manufacture an excuse to feel depressed when she got to Tokyo, since she’d be away from her little boy for almost two weeks again. Christina vehemently denied that charge. She also invited him to tour her stable before they left for dinner, both because she wanted him to see it and because she wanted to prove she was perfectly fine, mentally, about the Olympics and thus not avoiding anything horse-related.

“This is my favorite place on the whole property,” she smiled about the gazebo between her dirt and grass rings.

“Why’s that?”

“I can sit right here,” she explained, daintily taking a seat in her little tank dress on the edge of the deep wicker chair at the back of the oblong structure. “And watch Dirk in his paddock. But no one can see me from the barn. The railing is in the way. I’m totally hidden if I sit back but I can still see Black Beauty. It’s perfect. No one can find me!” Dirk was already on his way to Asia, so Calvin was alone in the paddock she nodded at.

“Why do you need to hide?” Juan always asked thoughtful questions. His former girlfriend peered up at him like she was disappointed but unsurprised. Boy doesn’t miss a thing, she muttered in her head.

“I don’t need to. I just like to sometimes. It’s hard to get everyone to leave me alone. Shutting my office door is no longer a deterrent. They just knock and come in.”

“They who?”

“Everyone. Kyle, Stef, Tom, Isa, Espen, Schü- even Luke! He drags a bucket over and stands on it and opens doors around the barn. Thank goodness he hasn’t figured out how the latches on the stall doors work or all the horses would be loose.”

“I’m not going to ask the obvious question.” The Spaniard folded his arms and leaned against one of the uprights for the roof on the quaint little structure. He wore a knowing and mischievous grin of sorts, and looked handsome in black. Christina wanted to be annoyed at the attitude- annoyed at him for implying that there must be something askew in her life if it was such a problem to be so accessible to her loved ones and colleagues- but it was difficult to feel anything but happy to be looking at him in the flesh. Things were great with André, when he was there. BVB kept him busy, and away. She missed the Chelsea man. She was tired of missing people, and things. She wanted all of her people and all of her things when she wanted them. Some of them, she wanted all the time.

“Why do I get the feeling you’ve come here, you’ve surveyed my homestead, and you’ve decided that it’s not right and I’m not at home here and probably won’t live here that long?” she asked anyway, despite the good feeling inside caused by his general presence.

“Projection.”

“Nope.”

“Yup.”

“I’m not taking your bait, Juanin.”

“You’re the one trying to bait me into saying something just so you can tell me I’m wrong,” he chuckled before holding his hands out to signal that there was nothing he could do. “What’s back there?” He then pointed around the corner and beyond the tree line, toward where the new paddocks snaked behind the house.

“Horses. Grass. Fences. Trees.” Are we playing a game? Am I playing a game and he’s not? I dunno but I kinda just wanna go have dinner. “Ready to go?”

“You seem...I know this isn’t a real word, but squirm-ish.”

“I just need a kiss,” the rider smiled, opting not to engage in any games, other than obfuscation, perhaps. She got to her feet- to her flat leather sandals, in fact- and approached Juan for a second smooch. The first kiss was too quick, and too two-people-leaning-over-the-center-console-in-the-car. Christina had developed an aversion to being too affectionate with the Spanish midfielder in front of her son, who was more aware and understanding of his surroundings by the day. She didn’t want him to see her behave the way she did with his dad with another person. She was afraid it would influence him later in life, the way her family’s lack of affection affected her. He was in the backseat at the airport, and everywhere at the house. Kyle and Isandro were finishing up evening chores when she showed off her barn. The gazebo was the first place the unconventional couple was alone. Juan held one side of her face and kissed her crème coral pout carefully at first, and then with all the love he had to give her that had been stored up for her while they were apart. She hugged his waist after.

“Your strange mood and projection to the side, is everything okay here, cariña?” Juan asked her once he realized her hold on him was going to last a while. There was a note of concern in his voice.

“Yeah. Life is good. I just nee- missed you.”

“I need food! Where are we eating?”

“The place is like 15 minutes away. It’s pan-Asian.”

“Let’s get moving. I have lots to tell you over dinner.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“Only good things.”

“Hey, that’s my motto for August.”

Christina really did have a bad feeling about whatever Juan was going to tell her. She hadn’t forgotten the conversation they had on the boat about his realization that he really wanted and needed a full-time partner and an authentic, conventional relationship, and about whether their unconventional arrangement was actually making things harder than not having any arrangement at all. The Spaniard promised that he’d love her the same no matter what, but he never promised that he wouldn’t seek a change, or seek someone else. He couldn’t put her anxiety to rest straight away because he wasn’t the only footballer at her favorite “trendy” spot. Marco and Zoe pulled into the parking lot during the two whole minutes it took for Christina to get her hair un-stuck from one of the adjustable buckles on the racing harnesses in the R8 after parking it. The injured Dortmund captain chose the spot right next to her un-miss-able and unmistakable hotrod. Instead of two tables for two, they got one table for four.

Marco was disappointed about missing pre-season with his teammates but was truly loving all the time off. Zoe took a month off from work too, and they went away for three weeks after the guys’ Miami trip. Noah loved having his dad around all the time too. Christina actually loved being around his dad as well. They hadn’t seen each other all summer. He was very genuine and meaningful in his congratulations about the Olympics.

He was also nicer to Juan than she expected when they decided to dine together. The players talked football, and charity. Juan was launching a new initiative, alongside the charity he visited with her in Berlin, to get people from all sides of football to contribute 1% of their salary to a global fund that funneled money to thousands of smaller charities dedicated to enriching the lives of children and communities through football. Juan said Christina could do it too even though she wasn’t involved in football, and she eagerly pledged her 1%, and André’s too. Her dream of setting up an organization and funding to help riders of average or below average means get to top levels in equestrian support was very much stalled on the runway, mostly because she didn’t have time to dedicate to getting it off the ground, or even to harass the people who could do the legwork for her. Tim really dropped it down his list of priorities after making some initial progress. The fights with the contractors for his most important clients’ new home and stable, and one of those clients dropping nearly all of her sponsors, kept him busy over the winter when he was otherwise meant to be working on the initiative.

Juan never let anything get in the way of a project, and Christina loved and admired that about him. He was much more proactive and effective in terms of the second Dirk video than her agent was in organizing the first. He came up with his latest charity goal not long after his grandfather passed, so he took it from conception to operational in just a few months. The rider also loved and admired his heart, and his awareness. In some ways she even envied his consciousness, and felt conceited for being so consumed by her Olympic adventure. She vowed, to herself at least, to stop talking about it for the remainder of the meal, even though Zoe kept asking questions and trying to start a side conversation because she evidently wasn’t that interested in what the boys were discussing.

“Are we staying for dessert?” Juan stage-whispered during a rare break in the lively talk and banter among the guys, created by Marco’s need to argue voraciously with his partner about whether or not they could and should take leftover Kobe beef home for Higgins, their Boston Terrier.

“Only if they suggest it,” Christina whispered back. “I want to have my dessert at home.” She blinked her eyebrows a few times to convey her meaning, as if the silly grin that spread across her face a second later wouldn’t make it clear. It’s you. I want you for dessert, she telegraphed to him via her thoughts just in case he still didn’t get it. I can only take so much Juanin in a black button-up laughing and being the biggest-hearted human being on Earth before I need his d-

“Do you want another Geisha Killer?” Juan nodded at her empty cocktail glass and blinked his brows a couple of times too.

“No. I’m driving. Don’t think for a second that you can get me drunk so that I have to let you drive the R8.”

“Damn, I thought I was being clever.”

“What did you want to tell me ab-“

“Chris, where is Stefanie?” Marco interjected. “Why is she never here?”

“Uhh I can’t answer that without knowing what version of the truth she told your boy.” Damn her for lying to Mario, who then spread the lie to Marco, who knows how bad I am at lying.

“Is she here right now?”

“In this building? No...”

“Chris.” The broken Borussia forward aimed his disappointed sneer her way.

“She’s been here since Sunday night but you didn’t hear it from me!” Christina sped through her answer and looked anywhere but at whom she was speaking to. Zoe gestured incredulously to her right.

“She even lied to me then!” the Swiss blonde exclaimed. “I just called her yesterday and she said she was in Munich to visit her family.”

“Don’t shoot the messenger! And don’t tell her I told you! She can’t see him right now,” Christina groaned. Mario is the last thing Stef needs now that everything is going so well for her, and I know what it’s like when you’re trying to get over someone and he keeps trying to see you and then you look at him and it’s game over. She glanced to the man to her left and accidentally let out a little sigh. “Stef is doing Stef. I’m sure she doesn’t want to be lying to you, or Mario for that matter, but...meh.”

“What am I missing here?” that guy to her left asked. “What’s the story?”

“Stef and Mario aren’t seeing each other anymore, for reasons we don’t even need to get into, and now he’s back from his recovery in Munich- Well, right this second he’s in Switzerland, but in general he’s back and he wants to see her I guess and she doesn’t want to see him. That’s all I can say.” I don’t even know how much Marco knows about the reason she won’t see him. It’s Michael, mostly, the rider continued to herself, referencing Stefanie’s new beau.

“She’s being a cunt,” Marco quipped. Both women at the table immediately chided him for the language, with matching pinched brows, scowls, and raised voices. That they could effect the exact same expression and tone made both men laugh. “Ugh, it’s like having two of you,” the German one scoffed to his partner.

“You should be so lucky,” she shot back.

“Hasn’t she legitimately been away most of the summer?” Juan questioned. He heard enough of the daily goings on in Christina’s life to know her student’s general whereabouts in relation to hers.

“Yes,” the trainer nodded. “Also, I’m soooooo tired.” She tried to fake a yawn and it turned into an actual yawn, which was then awkward because it made the whole thing go on much too long. He laughed at her.

“She wants to go home,” he supplied for the rest of the table with an amused chuckle. “Why can’t women ever just say what they want? “I don’t want to see you.” “I want to skip dessert and go home.” It’s not so difficult, is it?”

“Exactly!” the other footballer agreed emphatically. “And why can’t they say “I want this specific thing from this specific place” instead of “I don’t know; I don’t care” when you ask them where they want to eat? “I don’t care.” And then every place you suggest is rejected.”

“”What’s the matter?” “Nothing”, when really there is a whole list of problems she’s dying to complain about,” the Chelsea man added, going along with Marco’s airing of grievance.

“You guys know you’re just as guilty, right?” Christina asked. “André’s been trying to tell me for two weeks that he wants to-“ Wait. Wait, shit. I just realized. I was going to say he won’t because he doesn’t want to upset me right before the Olympics. Would Juan really tell me right now, less than a week before I leave, that he wants to stop what we’re doing? He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Right?

“Wants to what?” Marco inquired because she’d just stopped talking and never finished the thought.

“Never mind. I- I forget. I really am tired.” Her explanation was halfhearted and absent sounding. Marco shrugged and then tried to use the incident as an example of a woman saying one thing and meaning another, but instead of high-fiving him, the Spaniard just looked at his girl with slight confusion and minor worry. She waved both things away with a look of her own that was knowing enough to tell him she understood his expression and that everything was fine. Inside she didn’t feel that fine.

“If anyone ever comes to clear these plates we can get the bill and leave,” Zoe replied. They’d all been finished eating for quite a while. It actually only took a few more minutes to settle the check and get out of there, but it felt like an eternity to Christina, who was obsessing inside over any possible requests or orders to break up the happy situation that was either fueling or facilitating her run of success, satisfaction, and content. The anxiety stretched into the ride home too. She chirped the ridiculously wide tires on the rear axle of the Audi at two different stoplights because she was careless with the clutch and throttle pedals, her mind elsewhere. Juan was on the phone the whole time. His mom, like all moms of guys Christina ever had relationships with, called at really inopportune times for lengthy catch-ups, and for some reason the guys never seemed to mind.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” she asked him as soon as he hung up, which happened to be as they were waiting for her gate to open.

“Hmm?”

“You said you wanted to talk- Or- Tell me something?”

“Oh, just the charity project, with the 1%.” Her passenger was nonchalant, and not at all acting like someone who had something to hide, or something more to say. But that didn’t assuage her fear.

“Are you sure? Nothing else?”

“Yes. Why?”

“It sounded like it was going to be more than that.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno.”

“You’re a little bit strange today, cariña,” he told her, side-eyeing in her periphery. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

“Well...”

“This is what I was talking about!” he laughed as Christina prepared to back the R8 into the garage. “Women never just say what they need to say the first time, or what they want, or how you’re feeling.”

“I feel like you’re about to tell me you want to...be just friends again, or maybe even less than that.” It was easier to come clean about her fear while she was alternating between looking in the rear view mirror and turning to look directly out the back window. There was a tennis ball hanging from the ceiling back there to tell her when to stop. When it just caught on the big carbon fiber wing, the car was in the right place.

“Another thing women do is look for reasons to be unhappy when things are getting too good, or too good for too long,” Juan muttered under his breath, his eye on the side view mirror. He didn’t sound pleased with the turn in conversation. The driver shifted the car to neutral, pulled the brake, and began the annoying sequence of switch flipping to silence the engine and turn off the other components.

“I’m not looking for a reason,” she protested. “You’ve just been all weird, and then you said you needed to tell me some things, and...I don’t know. You had this smug, knowing vibe earlier about how I feel here, like you surveyed everything and concluded I don’t like it or I’m not as comfortable as I could be and you know I’d be better off with you, but you’re trying to keep it to yourself because it doesn’t matter anyway because you want to move on. I’m perfectly capable of saying what’s on my mind and meaning what I say. Sometimes it’s just tactically more astute to sit on it and see how things play out.” Christina unbuckled her harness while she spoke, and then crossed her arms for finality. It’s so annoying that he generalizes about women, and not just in a joking way. And not just because duh it’s stupid but also because I thought I was supposed to be different from “most women” to him.

“Okay to start, I did not survey anything and reach any conclusion other than you have a very nice home and stable. You are projecting your own insecurities onto me. You should probably think about that, Chris,” the player countered, his manner short. “And why you took that all the way to an assumption that I don’t want our relationship anymore, I have no idea other than you struggle to just let things be. You have to make a problem. I had nothing special to tell you other than my project. If I sounded a certain way when I mentioned it earlier, it’s because it’s something that’s been part of my life for months and I never said anything to you about it. I was prepared for you to be upset that I kept something so important to myself instead of sharing it with you and getting your input. I guess we’re in different places about us if you’re worried I’m getting off on you being unhappy in your home and that I want to undo everything, and I’m worried you’ll be upset that I didn’t share something with you that’s so important to me and that I’ve put a lot of time and work into lately.”

Why can’t he cede the high ground just ONE time, man? Why does he always have to see the big picture and digest it instantly and spit out perspective? Ugh he is so annoying, the rider grumbled to herself before preparing something to lob back at him. Juan could make it very difficult to employ her usual debate tricks and skills to “win”- to be in the right. He habitually flipped everything on her and turned it into her problem, or her fault, or her neurosis. And now that he mentions it, I AM mad that he didn’t include me in this Common Goal thing. Why didn’t he? I’ve told him so many times that I want to- You know what? I’ll just- She could hardly take the time to complete whole words, never mind sentences, in her head.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it? I could have helped, or...something.” Does he not think I would have anything good to contribute to something like that? My ideas wouldn’t be good? Christina got herself from anxious about their relationship changing, to angry that she was wrong and he was trying to sound superior in his commitment, and all the way to simply hurt about something she hadn’t even thought of until he brought it up.

“You have enough on your plate,” Juan replied with a softer tone and less hostile body language. He took his hand off the door handle instead of sitting there poised to get out, like he couldn’t wait to get away. “I didn’t think I needed to add another thing to have on your mind this summer. I worked with Toni on it. That’s why he went on the trip with me before I came to stay with you on the boat.”

“Still, you could have said, “hey, I was so empty after my grandfather died that I decided to do this thing and now I want to make it happen with my friend”. I would have understood.”

“Come on, cariña,” he sighed. “You didn’t even think to be unhappy about it until I brought it up just now. Don’t make an issue of something that didn’t bother you in the first place.”

“I would have gotten there eventually! Like when I was done worrying about the other things.”

“Can we go inside? It’s hot in the car.”

“Is that code for “can we stop having this conversation”?”

“No. Can we just have it somewhere other than a car with little interior heatproofing, inside a closed garage, with a hot engine?”

Christina consented and eventually suggested that they sit outside by the pool after relieving Espen for the night. The dogs needed their last outing of the night, and it was cool and pleasant on the patio. She poured a glass of Viognier for herself from the open bottle- the house wine- and offered her friend everything from beer to scotch. He didn’t want anything, and was annoyingly more focused on tossing a rubber squeaky that had long lost its squeak across the yard for Spencer and Lucky to chase and then fight over than he was interested in pursuing the chat. She didn’t know where to take that chat anyway. He wasn’t going to apologize for not talking to her about his charity plan sooner, and she wasn’t that sure she was entitled to or even really wanted one. She definitely didn’t want to listen to him tell her she was the one doubting her comfort there in Germany and just seeing that mirrored back to her when she looked at him. Letting the whole thing go was actually more appealing than the satisfaction of seeing a conversation- an argument, really- to completion.

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