#I’m afraid I’ll be so good they’ll forget about the original concept and that wouldn’t be fair.

[glitterhoof]

i want to have my own toy line and movie so bad

#I realized my passion really is just. Toys but also animation and combining the medium would be a DREAM #a movie launching the line of toys…….. gimmicks… adorable designs…. #Maybe even the box resembling scene from the movie and can be recycled into a playset #literally a dream. A literal dream #i just need a tight concept but I don’t want to be so unoriginal I mean come on there’s a la jillion toys but #I obviously do not want to steal somebody’s idea. Because not to be egotistical but I am simply good at being better #I’m afraid I’ll be so good they’ll forget about the original concept and that wouldn’t be fair. #I’m like the riddler except I don’t lie to myself because I am the greatest. #Can you tell I am in bed and full and happy. I ate food and i think i am the bestest in the world #awn the intercom #Ok well I don’t think it for clarification. I am the best. I strive to give my competitors some surviving chance #I am not a cog in the capitalist machine. I am the wrench that will destroy it

[sodalitefully]

1-30 hehehe

Anon you’re a ballsy motherfucker and I love you.  BUT you didn’t choose a fic for 24-28, or a word for 29!

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for? Uh, probably Danny Phantom when I was like twelve 😂

Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them? Nope bc this is a small fandom and we don’t do many of those.

Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around? I usually start at the start and then when I get stuck I’ll just skip that part, keep going, and come back to it later.  If I have an idea and I’m afraid I’ll forget it, I might also skip ahead and write it.

Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline? I love outlining more that actually writing lmao, the longer the fic the more I outline.  I usually stick to it pretty closely, which isn’t aways good for my writing...

What is the perfect environment for you to write in? Quiet and private.  Other than that I haven’t figured out the tricks to getting myself to focus :(

If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day? Occasionally when I’m really inspired I’ll write like 1000, but more often I just write a paragraph or two.

Which part of writing do you struggle with most? Too many ideas, too little actual writing capacity.  It’s hard to focus on finishing fics bc I get too distracted by my other ideas, and I rarely write sequels bc there’s so much I haven’t gotten to share yet.

Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately. Nope, can’t write with music, I get too distracted.  

Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic? AUs!!!

Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most? Probably dialogue? Exposition is great bc I get to explain the AU, but It’s not good for the flow of the fic.  Dialogue can be really satisfying to write when you get in a groove with it.

If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be? Fluff!

Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to? Oh god so many.  I have notes on tons of tropes I’d like to write... I’d like to do a college AU (and I meant to do it while I was actually in college but oops).  I posted a soulmate AU once but I’d like to do another.  Oh and I have lots of ideas for crossover AUs and I’m still deciding how to handle those.

Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth? Honestly probably not.  I’m not huge on character death, genderbends, or reader inserts, for example, but I have ideas for fics involving all of those. 

If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick? No one from gnr that’s for sure, that’d be a disaster.  How about... Percy Jackson and idk Wonder Woman?

A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be? Hmm out of the fics that I’ve posted... maybe Sumthin’ for Nuthin’ actually? I abandoned that poor fic but I still really like the plot.  And there’s plenty of longer, more plot-heavy fics I have outlined that would be cool to see as films.  In general I often imagine concepts visually instead of with words.

What is your most underrated fic? Saving Grace didn’t get a lot of notes and I get why – it’s kinda niche and there’s no actual romance.  But I think it’s well-written and I’m proud of it.

What fic are you most proud of? Maybe the whole cat!slash universe?  I don’t think it’s my best writing per se, but I’m still really attached to the concept and it was a pleasant surprise that other people seemed to like it too.

What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene. I’ve always been partial to the paragraph in Sweetness that ends with “Their coffee has long gone cold (and so has Duff’s spine - snakes give him the heebie-jeebies), but Slash’s enthusiasm is sweeter than the Duff’s half-eaten bowl of melted ice cream, and Duff is eating it up with a spoon.”  Just... the coffee is cold and so is Duff’s spine, Slash is sweet and so is the ice cream, and using “eating it up with a spoon” idiomatically while it’s also thematically relevant to a sentence about dessert... I really like to layer meaning when I can.

Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why? Slash tends to be the center in most of my writing, but actually I think it’s easier to write from Duff’s pov.  Maybe bc when I’m writing sluff I can just channel my crush on Slash through Duff lmao.  Interesting tho bc when it comes to the real people, I find Slash much more relatable than Duff or the others.

What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written? Hah maybe Slash in the funeral home AU, it’s a duzzy ficlet so he’s just a side character but I got a kick out of writing his and Steven’s background antics.

What is the one fic that got away? Well, I really wish I’d finished Sumthin’ for Nuthin’ before I kinda lost interest in Motley Crue, that fic was gonna get more dramatic from there.  Would it be worth it to just post the outline?  Plus there’s a few potential longfic ideas that I’ve put a lot of love into, but I doubt they’ll ever be posted or completed considering the way I can’t seem to focus on one idea long enough to write more than a one-shot :( But hey I guess you never know.

Have you cried while writing a fic? Nope.  I do have some angsty ideas though, hopefully they’ll surface someday.

If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it? Someday I’d like to rewrite the cat!Slash fic from the beginning, make it a real multichap or at least a proper series of vignettes.  Id also be interesting in a darker version of that AU, since there’s definitely potential for that in the concept.  But I’m pretty attached to the fluffy little universe I made, so I’d probably prefer to explore those darker themes in a different (but maybe similar) universe – I have a few ideas.

How did you come up with title for [x fic]? Most of my fics have self-explanatory titles or none at all, the only one I have much to say about is Saving Grace.  Duff needed a miracle to get out of his situation, Slash was his saving grace.  But also, Grace is the name of Duff’s oldest daughter, and Duff’s motive in the story is trying to “save” her.  Despite the double meaning in the title, I avoided referring to the child by name or as Duff’s “daughter”/explaining how they ended up together.  I wanted to maintain some of the mystery of the apocalyptic genre: characters with mysterious origins, found families, aliases, etc.  That’s definitely one of the ways that Mad Max and DOOM influenced this fic.  (Oh, also Serpentine is a dick joke via a wttj reference: “My serpentine.”  That’s it tho, the rest are pretty straightforward.)

Which idea came to you first in [x fic]? Feel free to send a fic for any/all of the next few questions! Generally speaking, my ideas are character driven, I want to portray a character or relationship a certain way and I build a world that allows me to do that.

Which part of [x fic] was the hardest to write?  Always the end.

If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it? Whichever fic you have in mind, there’s a very high chance I have ideas.

In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]? Same as above!

Send me a word. If it’s in your WIPs, include the sentence and a short summary of the fic. – Send me a word anon!

Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future. Ok, so I have three main longfic ideas, but the easiest one to explain is an AU set in a version of the 1980s where ancient greek deities exist, Axl’s life is parallel to that of Perseus, and Slash is cursed like Medusa.   Lots of drama, lots of influence from greek theater, untrustworthy gods, unrequited feelings, dramatic irony... fuck I hope I write it someday.  

Alright mad respect for anyone who got through all that!  Thanks for the ask, and feel free specify a fic for those last few questions if you wanna

#reply #sodafics

[thekoshertribble]

“The days and the years ahead are worth living for.” Women of Star Trek Blog Entry #17: “The City on the Edge of Forever” Edith Keeler

“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.” This phrase, introduced in 1982′s Star Trek: Wrath of Khan, is most often associated with Spock’s ultimate sacrifice to save the Enterprise from destruction. But the concept this phrase represents had appeared in the original series, 20 years earlier, in certain moments and people. Nowhere else is this better represented than in the character of Edith Keeler, and her own sacrifice, in the iconic episode, “the City on the Edge of Forever.”

If you need a quick refresher, here is a short synopsis. When McCoy, in a drugged state, steps into the Guardian of Forever and alters Earth’s history, Kirk and Spock must follow him back in time to correct and save their timeline. The Guardian sends them back to the approximate place and time of McCoy’s alteration: New York City, during the Great Depression. They soon find the source of the alteration in the form of a young woman named Edith Keeler. While waiting for McCoy’s arrival, Kirk develops feelings for Keeler (and vice versa). At the same time, however, Spock discovers that McCoy’s prevention of her death in a traffic accident altered history. When McCoy arrives later in his drugged up state, Keeler finds him and does her best to nurse him back to health. A few days later, Spock and Kirk reunite with McCoy just as Keeler is crossing the street - McCoy steps out to try and save her, but Kirk holds him back, thus allowing her to be killed and correcting the timeline. A heartbroken Kirk returns with his two friends to the Enterprise.

The story mostly focuses on Kirk’s conflict of heart, having to choose between his own timeline and love: the needs of the many vs. the one. He makes the “logical” choice, saving his own timeline. However, it was Edith herself who had to make the ultimate sacrifice, giving up her life to save the future of Earth, even though she never knew it. 

To make matters more tragic, Edith Keeler did, (or would do) nothing wrong. This was not like Deadpool going back in time to kill Hitler as a baby. On the contrary, Keeler was a radical pacifist. Had she lived, she would become the leader of a nation-wide peace movement. Unfortunately, this peace movement prevented the United State’s entry into World War Two, thus allowing Nazi Germany to take over the world. As Kirk and Spock remark:

KIRK: But she was right. Peace was the way.

SPOCK: She was right, but at the wrong time.

In one scene, Edith remarks that Kirk seems out of place, which is obviously true. Ironically though, Edith herself seems to be out of place, in her own place and time. She sees a hopeful future of peace and prosperity that no one else around her can see, and she acts towards others they way that people in that future should act, in her opinion. I’m not going to go so far as to say she is flawless, but it’s very hard to find reasons not to like her. She possesses a great many positive traits, as noted in the following scenes:

When Edith first encounters Kirk and Spock in the basement of her soup kitchen, she has the following conversation:

KIRK: Excuse us, miss. We didn't mean to trespass. It's cold outside.

EDITH: A lie is a poor way to say hello. It isn't that cold.

KIRK: No. We were being chased by a policeman.

EDITH: Why?

KIRK: These clothes. We stole them. We didn't have any money.

EDITH: Well, I could do with some help around here. Doing dishes, sweeping, general cleaning. 

Her first line tells us two things about Keeler: One, she is not the gullible type. She can see through a man’s lies, even when he’s a charming at Kirk can be. Two: she has a strong moral code. This first line is partly reprimand, partly a refutation of an obvious lie. 

But, she balances that strong moral code with understanding and forgiveness. Instead of turning Kirk and Spock over to the cops or forcing them to return the clothes, she offers them a jobs with the soup kitchen. She understands they stole clothes out of necessity and desperation. She gives them work to not only alleviate their poverty; she also gives them an opportunity to “pay back” for their stealing by doing work.  In other words, while she doesn’t ignore the fact they stole, Edith looks to see the good in Kirk and Spock, and she believes they can be redeemed. 

We see this again a few scenes later, when Spock steals the tools from a workman’s box. She strongly reprimands him, and asks him why he did it, but she still does not lose her faith in him. (To be fair, her suspicion of him is alleviated by Kirk, but I still think Keeler ultimately came her own conclusions.) 

Her faith in people also extends to humanity in general. As soup is served to a small crowd of homeless people, Edith stands up on a podium and gives them the following speech:

“Now, as I'm sure somebody out there has said, it's time to pay for the soup. Now, let's start by getting one thing straight. I'm not a do-gooder. If you're a bum, if you can't break off of the booze or whatever it is that makes you a bad risk, then get out. Now I don't pretend to tell you how to find happiness and love when every day is just a struggle to survive, but I do insist that you do survive because the days and the years ahead are worth living for. One day soon man is going to be able to harness incredible energies, maybe even the atom. Energies that could ultimately hurl us to other worlds in some sort of spaceship. And the men that reach out into space will be able to find ways to feed the hungry millions of the world and to cure their diseases. They will be able to find a way to give each man hope and a common future, and those are the days worth living for. “

Before this speech, a man warns Kirk that he’ll “be sorry,” because he’ll “have to listen to goody-two-shoes” in exchange for the free meal. It’s suggests that Keeler gave this speech, or some variant of it, every night to whoever frequented the soup kitchen. Considering the dismal setting, its no surprise that the locals became a bit jaded by this daily optimistic message. It’s easy to write off her words as delusional, just as her audience does judging from their reaction, but Edith Keeler is not a delusional person. She is not naive to the pain and suffering around her - she runs a soup kitchen in the depths of the Great Depression, after all. She acknowledges her dark environment but does not allow that to stop her from seeing the light in humanity’s future. 

It’s this characteristic that, I think, draws Keeler to Kirk and vice versa. (Remember, Kirk survived the horrors of Tarsus IV, and despite that hardship, believes in the ability of humanity to rise above its bloodstained history.) He is impressed not only by her insight into future human events (atomic power and space travel), but her unwavering hope. 

EDITH: Why? What is so funny about man reaching for the moon?

KIRK: How do you know?

EDITH: I just know, that's all. I feel it. And more, I think that one day they'll take all the money they spend now on war and death

KIRK: And make them spend it on life?

EDITH: Yes. You see the same things that I do. We speak the same language.

KIRK: The very same. 

Lastly, her most obvious trait is her generosity and willingness to help anyone in need. We see this in her first scene, offering a job to Kirk and Spock, total strangers in her soup kitchen’s basement. She later finds them a “flop” to sleep in - otherwise the two men would probably have spent their nights waiting for McCoy in the city’s alleyways. Next, when on a date with Kirk, she senses something is bothering him, and asks: “Are you afraid of something? Whatever it is, let me help.” And finally, she finds McCoy as he stumbles into her soup kitchen and nurses him back to health in her office. 

Let me reemphasize that last bit. Remember when McCoy jumped back through the portal screaming bloody murder about bloody murder, and that homeless guy sees him, drops the bottle of milk he stole and bolts in the opposite direction? Contrast that to Keeler’s reaction, when she finds McCoy. To be fair, he’s not screaming bloody murder at this point - more like mumbling, really - but he still looks like a plague victim and no one wants to go near him. Except for Edith. Instead of running away from him, like everyone else around her, she does the exact opposite and helps him herself. 

Tragically, it’s her saving of McCoy that ultimately kills her. If she had ignored him, or called the police on him, he likely wouldn’t have been in the right place and time to save her life. 

None of this is to say that good deeds shouldn’t be done because they won’t be rewarded. Quite the contrary - we should do good deeds for their own sake, not for the reward we might get. Yeah, that might sound preachy and obvious, but it’s surprising just how easily we can forget these things in practice. 

Before I wrap this long blog post up, I’ll make one more point: although we’re not engaged in a world war or a devastating economic depression, it’s no secret things aren’t exactly great right now. My new years resolution was to stop saying “it can’t get worse,” because each time I said that I was proven wrong. But maybe Edith’s message is still relevant. Maybe the days and the years ahead are still worth living for. Just a crazy thought. 

Next entry: Operation: Annihilate!

#women of star trek #star trek women #The City on the Edge of Forever #edith keeler #star trek the original series #kirk #spock #mccoy #captain kirk #james kirk #mr spock #dr mccoy #star trek tos #tos

[dreamstormdragon]

11/11/11 Tag game

I got tagged by @ofvisitorsthefairest

Rules: Answer the 11 questions from whoevever tagged you, then made up 11 of your own questions.

Ofvisitorsthefairest’s questions:

1. Does music inspire you to write?

All the time, sometimes I’ll hear a song, or even just parts of a song and it just… clicks, with a certain story, or chapter that often I’ll have it playing nearly every time I’m working on that story. I have two playlists just for writing alone. Some songs just fit characters so well too. (Eiji and Carmen’s song definitely is “Invisible Touch” by Genesis. It’s so them.)

2. Which WIP did you learn the most from writing?

Honestly, from a sheer aspect of “I can do an entirely original work and finish it” that would go to Elemental Archer. It was my first novel, an idea I was holding in the back of my head for years. It taught me a lot in terms of pacing, ideas, writing action scenes, handling magic systems that were entirely my own… and it also taught me something that still brings me so much joy - that there is really nothing like creating your own original story.

3. Is there something your OC should be afraid of that they aren’t?

Oof. That’s actually a tough one since it depends on the OC. For this one, I’m gonna point to my younger characters.

Ken - He’s very, VERY trusting. He’s only six years old, so the world while not black and white, he doesn’t see everything fully for what they are yet. Being a child with gifts, adds to that and he doesn’t fully understand that sometimes… spirits lie. He should be wary when things call his name and he doesn’t know them but he isn’t. He’s just too innocent sometimes.

Lucas - Lucas, has no real fear of the forest. Which is good, due to where he lives… but also bad, because he doesn’t fully understand how rough it can get. As far as he’s concerned, he has no reason to be afraid because of what he is… That, has lead to many an incident. (They know his name at the ER by now.)

4. Is there something they don’t need to fear, yet do? Irrational phobias?

Lucas - rodents. He’s deathly terrified of rats and mice in particular. He can’t stand them, genuinely can’t. There is no getting over it. If he sees a mouse, he’s running in the other direction, likely onto the nearest counter until it’s removed from the house.

Ken - He hates shots. He doesn’t remember, his hospital stay from when he was an infant, but the irrational worry of getting poked and prodded is still there.

Carmen, much like her nephew, is terrified of bats. One nearly got caught in her hair as a teenager and she was scared ever since.

Eiji hates porcelain dolls. Doesn’t matter to him, they’re all creepy. Other dolls? Fine. Porcelain? Forget it.

Hideki is afraid of thunderstorms.

 5. Do you prefer reading physical books or e-books?

I actually love both, equally.

6. What’s some details of your world building that you like?

Elemental Archer - Honestly, one of my favorite things, is how many creatures actually live there, from Aura Lions that help protect the Earth, to spirits, dragons and waterhorses.. It’s a lot of fun and I love the world.

Spirits in the Shadows - Urban fantasy elements get to come out and play here, since ghosts aren’t the only thing that appear in this world. From forest spirits, to strange creatures of many kinds, there’s quite a bit beneath the shadows.

Heritage - I get to go totally nuts and make any kind of merfolk I want. From more traditional looking merfolk, to sharks, to tropical fish, freshwater, the sky is the limit and I adore every second of it.

7. Have you ever created a magic system? What was it like?

Oof, yeah magic systems are fun but they can be a doozy. The biggest one I had to decide is: Okay, if people from different Element tribes, had children, how do I avoid making the concept of a chosen Elemental worthless, if you have a huge family then you could be born with all 6.

I decided this, that the child’s elemental traits, really are a toss up between families. They’ll gain appearance attributes and certain gifts, (like a child of a fire elf and water elf, can walk on hot lava or breathe underwater) but their elemental gift will depend on who they take after genetically. If the child takes more after the father, they will gain the father’s element, but if they take more after the mother, same thing.

And an Elemental cannot pass their powers on to their children.

It also became a question of “Okay, how far do these elves go, if they’re the ones in charge of helping keep the world balanced? What is a nono?”

And that big “NO” was… Necromancy, because in the world of Elemental Archer, it is impossible to revive someone to their full health, let alone bring back their spirit to use the body as a host.

8. What was your first favorite book?

My first favorite book, was The Step Sister by R.L. Stine, it was the first YA book I ever read, that made me go “Huh” when I was a kid. I still remember what it was like that night I was reading it. I had a pile of books next to me, I was sitting on the back of our couch, the screendoor was open and blowing in a cool breeze… It was the perfect summer night.  

9. What time of day are you most motivated to write?

Either mid noon… Or later in the evening, when night’s fallen. Sometimes, 3 AM when my inner editor falls asleep.

10. If you could step into the shoes of one of your characters for a day, which one would you pick?

Hrm…. I’d probably pick Aireth, because as much as I love Vala, I would NOT want to experience a day in her mind, with all of the stress she had to go through…. Or getting sassed by elemental spirits. Getting to have that pure, raw elemental magic though of Aireth would be fun. Or Loralie, since she’s a mermaid but also a freaking SHARK mermaid. Hm... Y’know what? Yeah, I change my mind, I pick Loralie. I love my Earth gal, but I am seriously in love with the ocean too much to resist the chance to be part of it.

11. What are some little quirks you like to give characters? Ex: a lot of mine have freckles Just Because.

None of my characters dislike reading. I adore reading so much and credit the books that I grew up loving for my adoration of writing my own stories, that I can’t ever imagine making a character hate books. I just can’t do it man.

Good deal of my characters can cook. Not masterchef levels (Unless your name is Hideki) but enough to where they wouldn’t set the kitchen on fire if left alone.

I love the idea of heterochromia for a character, but my gosh I have NOT been able to cook up a character with it yet. I need to fix that.

My questions.

1. What is your favorite place to get character names from? And how hard is it to decide to name a character for you?

2. Do you have any particular method to your madness, or do you just go in blind and hope it works out?

3. Do your characters share any of your hobbies?

4. What do you usually hope for wordcount wise, when you sit down to write?

5. What is your go to music or sound effects for writing?

6. Do you ever have an idea pop up in the middle of a new WIP?

7. Who’s currently the favorite child out of your WIPS?

8. What is something your characters love?

9. Fun world building facts? 

10. Do you have an idea that you wanna squeal about for a sec?

11. What is your favorite book of all time?

I taaaaaaaag....

@theblueskyphoenix @thatsmybluefondue @dahl-my-life @wolvesofarcadia @reininginthefirewriting @andyfire122

[jjkfire]

Escape; pt.10 (epilogue)

Reader x Jungkook // (???)!AU // 14k words

Summary: Everyone has a number over their heads that says how useful they are to society from 0-100. You have a number ‘4’. You leave the city for some peace but you meet your cocky neighbor who seems to get on your nerves.

Genre: Fluff

Y/LN refers to your last name/family name

A/N:  Hi wow hello. Look here! It’s the epilogue to Escape! This is for all of you who have been extremely encouraging throughout the series and have shown me love and support throughout it all. I love you all so much because truly this series is my baby! It was my first attempt at a long chaptered fic! So basically anyway this is for my ogs who’ve sent me such sweet things about escape @thekookiecrush @hxsungwoon @katthecaptain @wide-awaker @revolutionbreez @orixiro @parkheehi @misxing-you @megjin @antaedepressant @marrauderr @minsuxga (the pregnancy ask… im suing you!) AND OF COURSE NOT FORGETTING MY BB @wicdrop and also all you anons out there! i remember all of you!!!!

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5  // Part 6 // Part 6.5 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9

Previously…

Here’s a recap because it’s been too long!  Jimin’s in jail after being caught trying to steal floor plans from Y/L/N Logistics (He was blackmailed by Jeon Logistics). Hoseok played a part in that and he was the one who falsified the audio clip that made you think Jungkook was in a relationship with you to decipher DIADEM. Jungkook didn’t tell you it was Hoseok because it’ll break you. You hear the original clip that Jimin had recorded of that night, proving Jungkook’s innocence and after hours of searching, Jungkook finds you in the local park, holds you close as you cry, begging for his forgiveness and he forgives you, of course he does because none of this is your fault. –> or skim through part 9 bc I feel like this was a horrible recap

Jungkook hates Hoseok with a passion and every time he sees his face, he just wants to put in a solid punch for your sake but you’ve warned him against doing so many times before and he wonders how you do it, how you always take the high road so easily. You seem to forgive people left and right, no matter what it is they’ve done to you and he truly finds it unfathomable that you don’t hate his family with a burning passion because he does. Blood is thicker than water you murmur to him, telling him to reconcile with his family but he simply shakes his head, unable to find it in him to do so, to forgive both his and even your own family like you’ve done.

Jungkook dislikes your family, he’s made it very clear but you convince him that despite their flaws, you still love them very much, so he holds back the insults, clenching his jaw to stop the words from spilling out whenever he sees them. He never wants to be associated with either Hoseok or your family because they both only bring you pain and yet here he is, sitting in your father’s cozy office, sandwiched between your father and brother while Hoseok sits on the sofa chair on the opposite side, a smug look on his face.

This is Jungkook’s last resort. He’d never be caught dead with these people but for your sake, he pushes away the anger, putting on a calm expression because hell if this doesn’t work out, he’s completely run out of options.

The meeting you had with Jimin’s lawyer had not gone the way you had expected. You had barged into her office with a million-watt smile on your face, the pen drive with the recordings in hand, the key to Jimin’s release, but she destroys all your hope with a single sentence.

“Were these recordings obtained legally?” She asks and the look on your face is enough to give her the answer she seeks.

“Then I’m afraid this would be inadmissible in court.”

“B-but you need to listen to them! They blackmailed him into doing it!”

“It doesn’t matter what’s on there because we can’t use it in court.”

Just like that, you leave her office feeling dejected, broken even because you were at a total loss of what to do. There wasn’t a single thing you could think of that could help the man that was quite possibly the only person that kept you going, that cheered you on in your adolescent years. He was the closest thing you had to family and you felt utterly useless because he was there for you all the time, every damn time but now, when he finally requests a favour, you can’t seem to step up and provide.

“Y/N, you win some and you lose some,” Jimin shrugs and you can’t help the tears that start to roll down your cheeks. All you can think about is how the world is so unfair. That in a perfect world, a man with so much love, so much kindness would never be sitting across from you in an orange jumpsuit, a 5 year sentence hanging above his head.

“Don’t cry,” He frowns placing his hand on the thick glass screen that separates the two of you.

“I’ll get you out of here somehow, I promise,” You mumble into the handset. “I’m not giving up.”

“Y/N, it’s honestly fine. They’ll probably let me out earlier for good behaviour and all that jazz,” He smiles.

“That’s still years, Jimin,” You sob. “You were coerced, blackmailed, and that’s a crime too.”

He let’s out a low hum, completely at a loss of what to say because you were right.

“I begged them you know? Dad and my brother…” You sigh. “I told them to drop the charges, showed them recordings, everything! But they said it’ll only put the company in a weaker position and the Jeons would’ve gotten what they wanted all along.”

“That’s true,” Jimin exhales. “It’s a smart decision on their part.”

“Smart decision? Jimin, they chose the company over you!” You shout. “You’ve worked for us for years now, you’re like family to us and they still chose the goddamn company over you.”

Jimin can only offer you a sad lopsided smile because such is the way of the world. Not everyone had a heart like yours, not everyone was willing to put a billion-dollar company on the line for the sake of their secretary.

“Don’t worry,” You murmur. “I’ll figure something out.”

“Y/N, it’s okay,” He sighs. “There’s nothing more you can do now.”

“There has to be something.”

He shakes his head at you because you’ve always been mightily stubborn.

“Don’t waste anymore of your time,” He mumbles. “Just move on, be happy and I’ll be out before you know it.”

“How can you expect me to just do that?” You frown. “If the roles were reversed, I know you wouldn’t stop too.”

A light laugh escapes Jimin because it’s true, he wouldn’t. He’d do everything, work himself down to the core until he could find a way to guarantee your freedom.

Wrap it up! You hear the guard shout at you and just like the numerous times you’ve visited him before, a sudden pang of sadness runs through your body.

“Not again,” Jimin groans playfully. “You cry every time.”

“Shut up,” You manage to say between sobs and Jimin wishes more than ever that the barrier between the both of you could just dissolve so he could pull you into a tight hug.

“I’ll see you soon okay?”

“Well, you know where to find me,” He laughs, eyes twinkling and you scowl at him.

He waves you a quick goodbye and though you try to stop them, the tears just continue to stream down your face.

Jimin’s okay, he really is but you never seem to acknowledge that concept, your puppy dog pity eyes always staring at him as the guard leads him out of the room and he always looks back just in time to see the guard on the other side giving you a consoling pat on the back.

Did Jimin want to be in jail? Of course not. Did he in some way deserve jail time? Sure… and it’s his mistake, he admits, that he found himself in this position anyway and yet his biggest regret of all was causing the people that cared for him to hurt the way you do. He absolutely feels like breaking down whenever his parents come in to talk to him but he puts up a front, smiling, hoping that they would spend less time worrying about him. But god, you. Nothing hurts more than seeing you cry, nothing hurts more than seeing you beat yourself up every time your plan doesn’t work out. He hated that he put you in this position because he was supposed to be a brother to you, he was supposed to take care of you but here he is, with the roles reversed in the worst way possible. He never tells you but every time he returns to his cell, he lets his measly thin mattress, if he could call it that, soak up all his tears.

“Pleasure to see you again, Jungkook,” Hoseok smirks. “What? Not going to grab me by my collar this time?”

It takes every ounce of willpower within Jungkook to stop himself from cussing the life out of Hoseok and he manages to calm himself down but Hoseok doesn’t miss the way Jungkook has his fists clenched by his side.

“Let’s just try to keep the conversation civil, shall we?” Your father grumbles.

“I understand you have a favour to ask?” Hoseok purrs and his sickly tone makes Jungkook feel like gagging.

“A favour is a nice way to put it but I’d rather classify it as a threat,” Your brother grins.

Hoseok straightens up in his chair, suddenly unsure of what exactly he had walked into.

“Jung Hoseok,” Your brother begins. “Let’s just get straight to the point. We need you to testify.”

“Testify?”

“In court, against the Jeons.”

“Are you crazy? They’ll kill me if I ever did that,” He scoffs, shaking his head.

“Right, that’s what we thought you would say,” Your brother sighs. “You know, we heard you’ve been talking to Y/N again,” Your brother begins, smirking.

“Yeah, exes can be friends,” He shrugs. “What does this have to do—"

“But I’m not so sure if she’d consider you a friend once she finds out you’ve been on a 5 year long mission to figure out diadem. That you had a hand in putting someone she cares for in jail. That everything between the both of you is a lie.”

“What are you trying to say?” Hoseok taps his foot nervously, hands fidgeting in his lap.

“Well for starters, I’m trying to say that in one phone call, I can have her here and you can watch as I show her this,” Your brother throws out a bunch of papers back from 4 years ago when Hoseok was still dating you, transcripts of him talking to Mr. Jeon on what he’s found out about the company. “And this, or this, or this,” He continues, throwing out paper after paper of all of Hoseok’s misdeeds, even the shoplifting record that Jimin had previously threatened him with. “But most importantly, this,” He smiles, playing the play button on his phone.

“Did you get all of that?” Mr. Jeon asks.

“Yes, sir. I heard it all loud and clear. I have the code written down too.” Hoseok responds.

“Alright then, let’s call Jimin and end all of this tonight.”

Hoseok sits in his chair stunned. He had been caught off guard because he thought he was called here for an offer, perhaps some money for some information but it looks like he had read the situation all wrong because how did they get the original voice clip for that night?

Hoseok wants to scream out aloud in the room, his heart pounding, his head beginning to ache because everything between you and him isn’t a lie. Maybe parts of it are but what he felt for you then and what he feels for you even now isn’t a lie. You are the one that got away, you are who he has always pictured growing old together with… and maybe everyone else thinks it’s ridiculous but truly he just knows, that it’s you… that you’re the one and you always will be.

He sounds crazy, he knows but if only the two of you had met in a different lifetime, maybe things would be different because nobody sees the years of history the two of you have together. They don’t see the hushed words that were shared between the both of you on an overcast day, you with your head on his stomach, him sprawled out on the grass as both of you talked about how unfair the world was, about your hopes and dreams that may never come true. They don’t see how the two of you had planned it all, the perfect getaway once both of you had collected enough money to get out of this city, to perhaps settle down in a modest house by the beach with no one to judge either of you for the less than magnificent numbers glowing above both of your heads. It’s the fact that he knows you’d be happy as long as you had your carving tools and him happy as long as he had you.

Everyone in this room only sees him as a villain but couldn’t they see that he was a victim in all of this too? That if only you and him were blessed with numbers as high as any of theirs, none of this would be happening. He loves you, more than you can ever know or anyone for that matter. He knows, he’s ‘deluded’ or whatever but you’re the only person he’s ever met that didn’t look at him like he’s just a 65 that was born to help the high nineties to achieve their dreams and neither did you look at him like he was just someone who should be angry and bitter, forever cursing the system. You looked at him like he had dreams to pursue, like he could have the world in the palm of his hand if he just did what his heart desires. He remembers your words ringing clearly in his head, no matter how many years have passed, clinging onto it like it’s his lifeline because it’s the only time he’s ever felt anyone believe in him.

“Well, what do you think?” He asks, turning to you, chest heaving from the hip hop number he had just performed.

“That was amazing, Hoseok!” Your eyes still wide as you try to process the fact that it was really him that had danced so fluidly as if the bones in his body didn’t exist. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you could dance like that?

“It’s just… I’m not that good,” He mumbles. “I’m still working on—”

“Are you kidding? You’re straight up the best dancer I’ve ever seen.”

“Well I don’t think you’ve really seen a good dancer because… I’m just not on par, you know?”

“You are,” You answer, your eyebrows furrowed. “You should do something with that talent. Don’t let it go to waste.”

“Nah… It’ll be a waste of time. I’m a 65, Y/N. People like me don’t get anywhere.”

“You can deny it all you want but you’re a great dancer and nothing you say can convince me otherwise. I’d kill to be able to dance like you,” You smile at him. “You’re gonna be so good they can’t ignore you. It won’t matter what your number is, you hear me?”

Loud and clear. He had heard you loud and clear.

Ah, he sighs. How he wishes you were right but you’ve always had your head up in the clouds, always over optimistic. But, it was always nice to hear words like that every once in a while… It almost had him believing in it himself.

“So, are you willing to testify? Or do you want to break Y/N’s heart all over again and perhaps face some jail time too?”

“W-what—,” A deep breath, one filled with defeat. “What do you need me to do?”

And for the first time since he’s entered this office, Jungkook smiles.

As promised, Hoseok takes the stand, revealing intricacies of the entire plan, from private emails to recordings, the court sees it all from start to end. The Jeons are trapped in a corner, having no way to refute the edited evidence provided, one that Hoseok had altered to leave himself out from being implicated. How were they supposed to know the man they entrusted with destroying all the evidence would turn on them like this? What could the Y/L/N’s probably have on him that would make him switch his allegiance?

The slam of the hammer comes soon after the jury’s verdict, Jimin nearly in tears as they unlock the handcuffs around his wrists, finally a free man. Hoseok sees the undeniable smile on your face, one he takes credit for and you turn to him from the floor, mouthing out the words thank you with tears in your eyes. There’s so much he wants to say, so much he wishes he could tell you but he’s dug a grave far too deep for himself and he admits that he’s lost his chance with you.

If he was being truthful, he had lost you all those years ago but that doesn’t mean he still wishes that somehow the circumstances were different, that there weren’t so many secrets between the both of you. He wishes more than anything to turn back the clock a few years, both you and him carefree, being delinquents and loving life despite the crappy hand life had dealt the both of you. Alas, wishes are only that, just wishes and he knows now that he’s somehow made up for breaking your heart all those years ago and maybe with this, you would forgive him for the horrible mistakes he’s made, ones you’re not aware of. His heart breaks when he sees you in Jungkook’s arms but at least he knows you’re happy and that’s the best gift you could give someone you love. Happiness.

Your texts to Hoseok goes unread and your subsequent calls go unanswered. You think maybe he’s just nervous, afraid that you were going to lash out at him now that you found out that he had previously worked for Jeon Logistics. You wonder when exactly he got that job and why he had never mentioned the fact to you over your recent conversations with him. You’re left confused and in the dark because he had been eager to reconcile over the lost years just days ago but somehow it was like he had vanished into thin air. Perhaps he had decided to take off like he had the last time around when he broke your heart and it makes you frown because for whatever it was worth, he had brought joy to your life when you were just about at your lowest and for that you would always be grateful, even if he had left a deep emotional scar, one you had just recently been able to rid yourself off with Jungkook’s help.

You wanted him to know that you had forgiven him years ago, something Jungkook says he doesn’t understand but you try to explain to him that it wasn’t worth it, holding onto so much hate within yourself. Wherever he is, you hope he’s happy because even when you were with him and even through the recent texts he had been sending you, you could still sense the same old Hoseok, the one that was bitter and skeptical about life. You had tried many times over the course of your relationship with him to get him to see life in a better light, to show him that despite the circumstances, both you and him deserved to be happy and so wherever he is, that’s all you wish for him, that he’s finally happy.

And that he is. He’s happy because you are and though he may have given up his identity and taken on a new one, a deal he struck up with your father to protect him from the wrath of the Jeons when they’ve done their time, he’s trying his best to live his life the way he knows you wanted him to. Do what you love, you would always say and here, halfway around the world, he is. He joins a dance studio, a small one, teaching kids hip-hop during the day and choreographing intricate pieces when the sun has set and you were right, you always were, he laughs. Hoseok’s the happiest he’s been in years and you’ll never know but it’s all because of you. Maybe in a year or two, you’ll forget about him but he knows he’ll never forget you, not in this lifetime, not ever and he doesn’t believe in reincarnation but for the sake of you, he sometimes wishes he does because oh, what a love the both of you would’ve shared.

It’s been perhaps three months since you were bawling out of happiness in the living room of the Park household now that Jimin was finally reunited with his parents and his mother insisted that both you and Jungkook stay for dinner, a true family dinner she announced, and you had cried even harder upon hearing her say those words.

It’s a lot calmer now than it was months ago, the press finally leaving both you and Jungkook alone, off to pursue more pressing issues, or rather not-so pressing issues but either way, you’re glad you’re able to finally take Buster on a walk without being bombarded by flashing lights and mics shoved into your face. The small town you live in, hidden in the hills returns to normalcy, serene and quiet like it should be. Your days go on like normal, Buster barking at squirrels outside as you head to your old cabin to get some wood carving done. While Jungkook is busy at work, you busy yourself with your trade, packing your wood pieces up to be sold at the bazaar you often go to sell your works at. There are a lot more people than you remember, many customers coming around your store trying to drop hints to get you to talk about what really happened in the aftermath of the arrest of the Jeons but you send them away with a tight-lipped smile. Why doesn’t everyone understand that it’s something you just want to put behind you?

After months of job searching, Jimin finds himself empty handed, his criminal record the first thing employers see when they search up his name and Jimin sighs, returning home empty-handed again after yet another interview. It’s after much pestering from both you and Jungkook that Jimin accepts the position of being Jungkook’s private secretary and though he’s apprehensive at first, Jimin takes the job anyway because as far as he knew, he probably never wanted to touch the logistics industry ever again. 

The learning curve is steep and he struggles with all the complicated terms Jungkook throws his way but he remains determined, trying his best to keep up as Jungkook leads him through the tech industry. As always, Jimin proves himself to be highly adaptable, surprising even Jungkook with how much he has learnt in the span of just a few months. In no time, Jimin sheds the secretary title, becoming almost some sort of a partner in crime to Jungkook. Together, they comb through the start-up industry, pouring money into apps they believe in, the money they get in return when the apps hit the market is beyond Jimin’s wildest dreams. It’s an arrangement Jungkook loves wholly because it means he gets to spend more time with you now that he didn’t have so much on his plate.

From the first I love you to the 100th, Jungkook thinks it’s a 3 letter sentence he’ll never get tired of hearing or saying. The first few times you say it to him, your voice is barely a whisper, almost like you don’t want him to hear it but whether you shout it out or mumble it to him, it still fills his chest with an unbelievable warmth, a feeling only you can invoke out of him.

Love.

It’s a strong word but it’s the only emotion that can describe how he feels about you. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you.

He loves you when he wakes up just minutes before you, dried up drool on your face and your hair a mess but your features are so calm, so serene that he can’t help but feel like he’s the luckiest man on the entire earth for having the privilege of waking up next to you.

He loves you when you’re chasing Buster around the house as he refuses to get toweled down after his shower and you collapse onto the couch, your shirt slightly drenched in soap water, telling him that Buster is only this stubborn because he had spoiled the dog rotten, which was true to some extent but he couldn’t help it, Buster is simply too adorable.

He loves you when you notice that he’s been having a hard week at work and you do everything in your power to make his day better and that could be watching his favourite movie for the umpteenth time or baking those goddamn fudge brownies that he could never seem to have enough of but most of the time, all he needs is to snuggle up next to you, your comforting touch almost healing to him.

Sometimes he feels he’s only half as good of a partner as you are to him and he feels horrible because he wishes he could make you feel even a quarter of what you make him feel. Funnily enough, you feel the exact same way because you feel like nothing you do could ever live up to what he’s done for you. It was as if he was looking into one of those too good to be true romantic comedies that he watches too much, Jimin often says about the pair of you. Both you and Jungkook seemed to live in perpetual confusion, always thinking that one didn’t deserve the other and you both even had a cute dog to boot, the final piece to a happy family. He couldn’t think of a better pair who deserved to live out an actual romantic comedy other than the two of you.

The ladies in town often question you when you think Jungkook would pop the question and you dread it, especially when they ask you when he’s sitting right next to you. The two of you always blush beet red before you retort, maybe I’ll be the one to get down on one knee! Which always seems to shut them up.

You were happy with the relationship you had with Jungkook and so was he. You didn’t see the rush in getting engaged because what you and he have for now, is perfect and if anything, you didn’t want him to feel pressured, like he had to give you some stupid, expensive ring, as if without it, what the two of you have was anything less special.

Perhaps all the pestering makes Jungkook reach his breaking point because he comes home later and later sometimes, so late that you fall asleep with your phone in hand, waiting for his text to tell you that he was on his way. As usual, the ladies in town plant seeds of doubt in your mind, asking you if you smell perfume on his shirt when he comes home, a clear sign of infidelity, they murmur. You don’t want to doubt Jungkook because you trust him with your heart, with your life but you do admit that you catch a whiff of a sweet-smelling perfume, one that isn’t yours. It’s probably one of his client’s perfume you reason but he’s been working late almost every day of the week for close to a month now and you hate what you’ve become, you hate how you’re sniffing the shirts he throws into the laundry basket to see if you could smell that now familiar scent. Curse the ladies in town for making you feel this way.

Maybe he’s finally gotten tired of you, you sigh. Maybe the glaring number 4 he sees above your head everyday makes him resent you because perhaps he’s thinking, he can definitely do better. You shrink into your older self, the one that’s unconfident and scared. Jungkook can sense that something is off, you know he can because he takes a day off work just to spend time with you but you can’t help but feel this niggling sensation that he’s doing this as a parting gift, one last week before he says he thinks he’s done with you for good.

“Babe, i-is something wrong?”

“Hmm?” You hum in question, trying your best to hide your emotions.

“Did I do something wrong? You’ve been… distant lately.”

“I-I don’t really know what you mean.”

“Maybe it’s just me,” He sighs. “Work’s been killing me and I know I haven’t been home much… but I hope you know I’d spend every single second with you if I could,” He murmurs, stepping up to you, pulling you in close. He giggles lightly when he sees you blush. It’s amazing how you still shy away whenever he says anything remotely cheesy.

It’s hard for you to decipher what exactly is going on but you can tell he’s being sincere and everything doesn’t seem to add up. You hate that you’re doubting him like this when there hasn’t actually been solid evidence to say that he’s cheating on you.

“I know,” You smile meekly and he takes the chance to kiss you on the lips, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek.

“What do you want to do today? I’m all yours today, I promise,” He smiles, switching off his phone just to prove that nothing was going to come in between the both of you for the day.

“Honestly… Can we just have a lazy day?” You mumble, laughing and he shakes his head as he laughs in return. He would’ve been surprised if you had suggested anything else.

Jungkook manages to convince you to spend the day lounging by the lake that the house looked out to, Buster lighting up at the words swim! Already speeding out of the house when you open the door. Both you and Jungkook spend hours simply laying side by side, laughing at each other as Buster enjoys his swim. You’re maybe into your second bottle of beer, soaking up the warm rays of the sun when he suddenly rises to pick you up, running down the length of the dock and jumping in with you in hand. You wrestle with him in the water, Jungkook laughing wildly at how furious you were but your grumbling soon turns to laughter too and you cling onto Jungkook like a koala, too lazy to swim yourself. It’s when he shrugs you off his back, turning around so he can hold you to his chest that you feel warmth bloom in your own because his smile lights up your world and you love him so much, you really do.

“I love you,” You smile, pulling him in closer for a kiss and he mumbles the same words back to you over and over again in between the kisses he plants on your lips. Screw those nosy ladies that make you doubt the man before you, screw the perfume you smell on his shirt because in this very moment, all you know is, a love like this cannot be fabricated and maybe it’s because you want to believe it but the way he says those 3 words to you, you don’t think he’s off spending his nights saying them to someone else.

As Jungkook waits for you at the shore of the lake, he can’t help but laugh at how similar this looked to when he had first spotted you here, Buster beside you, yourself in that adorable bathing suit of yours and good god, how much has changed since then and now. You skip down the length of the dock, linking arms with him when you finally reach him, and he thinks that he has to move the timeline up because he can’t wait any longer. But no, he has everything planned out, every single detail and it’s going to be absolutely perfect.

Jungkook hates, hates, hates it when he’s having a lovely Sunday brunch with you at the diner, completely lost in your eyes, loving the fact that he gets to spend every second of the day with you, only to be rudely interrupted by the extremely loving and yet, overbearing old ladies that would pop in for a meal at just about the same time.

“So, when are you going to buy her a big diamond ring? You wait long enough, someone else might swoop her up, you know?”

Jungkook blushes every damn time because of course he knows, you’re a gem, one in a million and he’s so lucky to be able to call you his girlfriend but it’s been two years now since he’s met you (again) and everyone and their mother knows that the both of you are so in love, that sometimes they forget that the both of you aren’t married, not even engaged.

Truth is, Jungkook has had the ring for close to 6 months now. It’s buried deep at the back of his sock drawer, a sizeable 15-karat diamond, surrounded by many fewer, smaller diamonds. It’s beautiful, grand and very, very expensive but it’s the only ring he believes can show you just how much he cares. He had spent hours in the store talking to the jeweler, viewing ring after ring just to make sure he could get you the perfect one. He’s been waiting and waiting, wondering when exactly would be the right moment to ask you or if he should put it off for another year because he didn’t want to scare you. He knows giving you the ring has a finality to it, that it means commitment, which is something you fear deeply.

“Diamond rings are overrated, and the diamond industry is horrible,” You groan at the ladies who’ve made themselves at home in the booth you and Jungkook were sitting at. “Child labour, slave labour and all for what? A shiny rock?” You scoff, shaking your head. “I don’t need a diamond ring, I don’t want one,” You huff, crossing your arms.

Jungkook feels a pang of fear strike him in his chest, worrying at the thought of you screaming in horror if you had found the ring or worse! If he had dropped down on one knee, the ring in hand… he can only imagine the look of disgust on your face. For the first time ever, Jungkook is grateful that the women had stopped by to pester the two of you today because he knows he’s getting rid of that ring first thing tomorrow morning.

Months later…

It’s the anniversary of the day he had first met you, yes, that would be the day he saw you at the gala when you were 8. You probably don’t remember the date, but Jungkook does, his diary entry from years ago telling him about the fateful day he met a girl that made the stinkin’ dinner that much bearable.

He’s been planning this for months now and as he stares down at the weather app on his phone, he frowns for there is a 50% chance of rain. Luck never really was on his side, the universe forever conspiring against him, he believes. The thumping sound in his chest and the way his palms seem to sweat no matter how many times he’s wiped them on his pants tells him that the day is finally here, that after months’ worth of hard work, he’s finally ready.

Jungkook had given both himself and Jimin the day off and begged him to take you to town, or anywhere really, just far from the home you shared with him. The moment you leave the house, waving him goodbye as you jumped into Jimin’s car, he goes into overdrive mode, pulling up his phone to dial the florist as he headed to the basement to pull out everything he needed to make tonight perfect.

It’s a little past 8 when Jungkook gets a text, one that informs him that both you and Jimin were going to be back soon and he lets out a deep breath, looking into the mirror one last time before standing in front of the door to wait for you, bouquet in hand.

“I’m ho— Oh?” You stumble backwards when you’re met with Jungkook standing right in front of you, shoving the flowers in your face.

“I uhh, picked these up on the way home from work,” He lies, a nervous smile on his lips. “Thought of you when I passed by them… so yeah.”

“Thank you, babe,” You grin, pecking him on the cheek before you take the bouquet from him.

“You’re dressed fancy,” You murmur, placing the bouquet on the counter. “Are you… going somewhere?” You question, unsure if he had told you he had some dinner to attend. Was that this week or next week?

“N-no, I just wanted to look nice for you,” He smiles and you laugh, quirking your eyebrow at him.

“Do you know what day today is?” He questions, grabbing your hand, leading you up the stairs.

“A Tuesday?” You answer, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you shuffle behind him. “Kook, what’s going on?”

“It’s the anniversary of the day we first met… when we were 8,” He grins, hand still intertwined with yours as he walks you all the way up to the final floor of the house, the rooftop patio.

“How do you remember that?” You question, laughing. “You should’ve told me over the weekend! I would’ve gotten you someth—“

Your sentence is cut short as you take in the way the patio has been so beautifully lit up, fairy lights hanging over a make shift blanket fort that Jungkook has created. It looked like something off Pinterest and maybe that’s why you had caught him on the website weeks ago, looking through some pictures that looked very similar to what was in front of you.

“Kook, what is all of this?”

“I know I haven’t been home lately,” He frowns, shuffling in his spot. “And, we’ve missed so many movie nights so, I thought I could make it up to you with this,” He beams, tugging you along to take a seat with him amongst the numerous amount of pillows laid out atop the mattress.

“H-how did you get this mattress up here? And where did you find all these pillows? And that projector thing— Did we always have one?” You question referring to the huge screen that was set up in front of you.

The pure shock on your face is enough to send Jungkook into a laughing fit and he can’t help but place a kiss on your lips. God, you’re adorable.

“We’ll talk about that later,” He laughs, busying himself with the movie system he had set up for the night. He puts on the movie the both of you had meant to watch in the cinema 2 weeks ago but a last-minute meeting meant that the two of you had to miss it. Jungkook had pulled every single string he could just to get this movie for his own personal viewing before it’s available to the masses ala pay per view or DVD and he now owes a few too many people a favour or two but it’s all worth it if it’s for you.

“Are you… some kind of miracle worker?” You gasp. “Jungkook seriously… how did you get this movie? Isn’t it still showing in the theatres? How did you do all of this?”

“Through the power of my love for you,” He beams and 3, 2, 1, there it is, the signature scrunch of your nose. He laughs as you scowl at him, mumbling under your breath and he snuggles up closer to you even as you attempt to shove him away. It’s a hobby of Jungkook’s to throw cheesy lines your way because he knows you hate them and by hate them he means he knows you secretly love them.

It’s maybe 15 minutes into the movie when he feels a light drop of water on his cheek. No, no, no. Please no. He thinks maybe if he ignores it, the rain will simply go away. You look up to the sky, putting your palm out to check if that had been rain or you were just imagining it. You don’t stand there thinking for long because the drizzle soon becomes light rain and the two of you are quickly getting up to set away the snacks that Jungkook had laid out. Within seconds, the rain comes pouring down and you’re laughing as you try to wrap everything up into a blanket, quickly rushing into the house as he unplugs the wires, trying to lug both the speakers and the projector indoors.

By the time the two of you are able to get mostly everything into the house, the both of you are absolutely drenched. Though you’ve taken the situation very lightly, laughing as you tried to dry your hair with a towel, Jungkook has decided to sulk in a corner instead.

“Babe, aw come on, lighten up! The night’s not over yet. The movie just started,” You smile as you bring the towel up to wipe away the rainwater on his face.

You set up the movie in the living room as Jungkook dug his hand into the bowl of soggy popcorn, still frowning as he takes his seat next to you, watching the movie with you silently, only daring to speak when the credits begin to roll.

“I had everything planned out,” He sighs. “This has been months in the making,” He sulks.

“And I appreciate it,” You smile. “It was perfect,” You kiss him on the cheek, bringing your thumb up to stroke the apple of his cheek.

“No… I just… this all went down a little differently in my head.”

“Jungkook, I loved every second of tonight. Stop beating yourself up over something you couldn’t control. It was just a little rain.”

“I know but—”

“It was perfect, really. Tonight has been one of the best nights of the year. I had so much fun,” You smile cupping his face with both hands and he still has a small pout on his lips. “I love you so much, you know that? I know I don’t say it as often as most usually do but I really, really love you.”

“But it’s just… Y/N,” He breathes in deeply, his hands removing yours from his face as he sinks to one knee. “I had a whole speech planned out, one that would coincide with the ending of the movie but I’m so nervous, I’ve forgotten everything.”

You see Jungkook on a singular knee his hand holding onto yours softly and your chest tightens.

“You’re everything to me, you really are, and I can’t imagine a day without you. I always look forward to the end of the day because it means I get to come home to you and that’s all I ever want,” He smiles. “Forever.”

You’re staring at him, your eyes almost popping out of your sockets and Jungkook allows himself a few seconds before he asks the question that’s been on his mind for close to a year now.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is… Will you marry me?”

“Jungkook…” Your voice barely audible as you look at the man before you, all teary eyed. “Yes, I— Yes!”

There’s an audible sigh of relief just before you pull him up for a kiss. The smile he has on is unbeatable and he kisses you again and again, almost like he doesn’t believe that you said yes. With shaky hands, he slides the ring onto your finger, letting out a deep breath when he finds that it fits just right.

“Don’t worry, it’s white sapphire, not diamond!” He exclaims as he watches you examine the ring. “Y-you said you hated diamonds so I, uhh got rid of the diamond one I originally bought.”

“What?”

“You told the ladies… you hated diamonds because… you know, slave labour and child labour and—”

“Jungkook, that was… that was just to get them to shut up, I didn’t really mean it… I mean I did but— You bought two rings?”

“Well I bought one, the diamond one… but I made this one,” He murmurs, blushing. “Yeah you can tell can’t you… I know, I should’ve just got it professionally made but I uhh thought it’d make it more special… if I made it but if it’s a little wonky and doesn’t fit well then you know why.”

Jungkook shrinks away, a little embarrassed because he hadn’t really thought about what your reaction would be when he tells you that he had made the ring. In his mind, it was the perfect gift, considering that you were an artist yourself… He thought what way to tell you better that he loves you and appreciates you by giving you something that couldn’t be bought with money, that was one of a kind, not 100% perfect but is filled with love and hard work, something like you.

“You made it? Like physically?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’ve been home late… One of my clients owns a jewelry workshop on the side and when I told her my plan, she offered to help me out.”

You’re crying and Jungkook’s scared because oh god, now you think he’s some cheap asshole who didn’t get you a diamond ring but then he hears you laugh as you wipe away your tears, your hands pulling him in for a hug.

“Y-you don’t like it do you? I’m sorry I—” Jungkook’s stammering, trying hard to salvage the situation and you pull away from him to plant a lingering kiss on his lips just to shut him up, just to tell him you absolutely love it.

There’s a moment of comfortable silence as he watches you examine the ring and he’s biting his lip nervously, hoping you can’t see the flaws as clearly as he does. He doesn’t know but you can’t see the flaws, not even a single one because you’re too busy admiring the fact that Jungkook had (with minimal help) crafted a ring! He had modeled it after the diamond ring he originally bought but… you didn’t need to know that. You murmur words of wonder and amazement beneath your breath and in that second Jungkook thinks it’s worth it. All those late nights, all the moments of pure frustration as he tries to twist the metal in just the right way or moments of pure nervousness as he tries to hide the tiny pricks and cuts on the pads of his fingers from you, it’s all worth it just to see the delight on your face.

“It’s funny,” You smile, as if embarrassed. “The ladies tried to convince me that you were cheating on me and I… I kind of well, was semi-convinced because of the late nights and perfume on your—"

“Cheat? God, Y/N, no, never.”

“I know, I know but it was just…” You murmur looking down at the ring nervously, and he waits for you to continue your sentence or say anything really but Jungkook can see how the main piece of white sapphire seemed to be slightly crooked.

“Listen, i-if you don’t like the ring I can always get you a diamond one again.”

“Jungkook, no,” You laugh, cupping his cheeks. “This is perfect. I love it,” You smile.

The shy smile he gives you makes your heart feel like leaping out of your chest and also melting into a puddle at the same time. For the longest time he only gazes at you, his eyes looking at you as if you are the entire Universe and to him, you are.

“I love you,” He sighs sweetly, turning his head so he could leave a soft kiss on the inside of your palm.

You don’t have to say it back to him, he already knows you do too, but he loves hearing it anyway and when you finally say I love you too between the kisses you pepper him with, he thinks he can’t possibly have a day better than this one in his entire life.

Fortunately, that’s a lie. With you, there came many more days he considers the best day of his life but really with you he couldn’t pick. Okay, no, that’s also a lie. There’s a handful of days he can pick out and he’s really trying to keep himself to a limit here so, he settles on 5 special days, of course, not including the day he got engaged to you.

one

It’s the day or really days right after the two of you get your marriage registered, having called Jimin and his family down to the office with only a few hours’ notice to be witnesses to your marriage. It’s spontaneous, ridiculous, much like your relationship with Jungkook but when he proposed the idea of it the other day, it didn’t take more than a second for you to shrug and say, why not? You should’ve known Jungkook and his spontaneous ideas were never really that spontaneous because he’s standing in front of you, presenting you with an itinerary of just what the two of you were going to do at Ko Lipe, a post-marriage gift, he says. You had on the most adorable expression, one mixed between shock and pure joy before it all fades and you furrow your eyebrows.

“What about work? Don’t you have a lot going on right now?”

“Ahh, I closed all my open-ended deals in the last month just for this… Just for you.”

Ugh, even he cringes at how goddamn cheesy he is when he’s talking to you but it’s almost as if his mouth had a mind of its own sometimes. You hum at that, pursing your lips so your smile wouldn’t show. He must’ve planned this months in advance. Spur of the moment thing my ass, you scoff mentally, but it’s more of a you’re-such-a-thoughtful-dork-and-I-love-you kind of scoff rather than a mean-spirited one. How does he always seem to know that your answer to any of his ‘spontaneous’ decisions will always be yes?

“So, you’re saying we’re going to have a week’s worth of privacy? No phone calls to interrupt us? Just you and me?”

“Just you and me,” He nods. “I’m leaving my work phone at home, see!” He pulls the drawer of the side table to show you the handphone that’s usually glued to his ear.

“No! I mean don’t do that… What if something goes wrong at work?”

“Then Jimin can deal with it,” He smiles.

You stand there thinking if it really is a good idea to just up and leave the country when you had found both you and him plastered across the gossip section of every major news outlet and magazine this morning, the mere mention of the two of you getting married enough to cause an online frenzy. It’s the story everyone’s ever wanted, the Jeon and Y/L/N rivalry finally put to an end by love. Except, both you and Jungkook know the truth, both your fathers and perhaps even brothers will forever be at loggerheads, even more so now that the Jeons were behind bars.

“Come on babe,” He whines. “It’ll be our very own island adventure!” He exclaims, placing a pair of sunglasses on for you and a straw sun hat on himself. 

“You’ll get me to go even if I do say no, won’t you?” You laugh and he winks at you because it’s the truth. He already had your bags packed… which would explain why you couldn’t find your favourite pair of shorts this morning.

Just like that, you’re whisked off to Ko Lipe, in a private jet he had borrowed from one of his clients. The press back home is having a field day, everyone wondering just where the two people the public want to see the most have disappeared to. You look down to your phone to see multiple missed calls from your parents and your siblings as reporter after reporter show up at your family’s residence, badgering them for comments. They didn’t know what to tell the press because well, they weren’t informed of the whole marriage registration debacle themselves!

All of that is the last thing that’s on your mind as you bury your toes in the sand, gazing out into the vast ocean blue. You aren’t given much thinking time anyway as Jungkook drags you out to do any form of extreme water sports that the private resort offers. Be it parasailing or going for one of those jet ski tours to the remote neighbouring islands and caves, it’s like you don’t even have time to catch your breath before he’s pulling you to the sign-up booth, looking for something else to do.

I, Island, Ko Lipe. The answer to the I of DIADEM, the family code that comes to you naturally no matter how long it’s been since you’ve been forced to recite it. It’s a thought that comes to you in passing as you’re laid out on a deck chair, finally being able to rest after Jungkook’s daily dose of adrenaline inducing adventures. This place, this island means so much to you and it means so much to Jungkook too. It’s been years since you’ve been back here, perhaps even longer for Jungkook and every single day spent here has been like a dream. You remember this island to be a place where you finally felt like you belonged in your family and you’re glad that now that you’re here again you don’t just ‘feel’ like you belong to a family, you know you’re part of a family, because right next to you is the man you’re going to marry, technically you already have. He smiles at you when he catches you staring at him, blowing you an obnoxious kiss just so he can see you scowl at him. 

You hope he feels the same way you do, hope that he knows you can’t ever replace the love his mother has for him, can’t replace the memories he has of this island when he was much younger, exploring the island as his mother chased after him but you hope he allows this trip, the numerous moments you’ve had with him to add on to the fact that this island will always be special to him. If only you knew you didn’t have to hope. Jungkook’s already committed to documenting every single moment of this trip, having had taken an unreal number of photos along with hours upon hours of footage just so he could look back on it all whenever he wanted to because he feels this whole week has been the best damn week of his life.

two

The two of you return home after a rather exhausting yet refreshing week at Ko Lipe. The press has seemingly forgotten about the two of you or have simply given up on trying to locate either of you. Jungkook spends most of the week working from home and you decide against leaving the mountains at all, neither of you wanting to deal with a publicity shitstorm. It’s perhaps months after, when the two of you know that you’re definitely in the clear that you decide to send out invitations to your wedding, a relatively small one with no less than 50 people that’s slated to happen in the backyard, next to the lake. To be fair, most of the attendees were going to be the people from town, the only outsiders would be your family and Jimin and his family. Jungkook adamant as he is, refuses to extend an invitation to his step-mother, unwilling to forgive the fact that she had allowed his father and brother to go to the lengths they did in order to try and be level with Y/L/N Logistics. You don’t argue with him, respecting that it was his decision to make and honestly, regarding your own family, you aren’t quite sure if they are actually going to show up considering the fact that you hadn’t personally called them back after the whole out of the blue marriage registration fiasco, only sending them a text to confirm that yes, you had indeed decided to marry Jungkook.

The wedding day comes faster than Jungkook could have imagined and suddenly he’s sweating nervously as he stands at the end of the aisle, the guests rising from their seats as the wedding march begins to play. The ceremony is simple yet elegant, only a small flower arch at the end of the aisle and 50 white chairs at either side of the white carpet. Every single seat is occupied, all except one because it’s Jimin who stands beside you, arm linked with yours as you walk down the aisle. Your breath almost gets caught in your throat when you spot your family amidst the crowd. The blank faces on you father, mother and brother tells you that it must’ve been your sister that had dragged all 3 of them here. You send her an appreciative smile because though growing up in that house with your family hadn’t been great, you still do in fact share the same blood and you still do love them, despite their flaws. 

You look forward when you hear Jimin let out a light laugh, and this time it’s like your breath is taken away when you finally lay eyes on your soon to be husband. He stands tall in a classic suit, looking dapper and handsome as always. You can see the way Jungkook has already started to tear up and you guess that’s why Jimin had been laughing but truth be told, you were on the verge of tears yourself. Jungkook feels almost light headed when he sees you standing next to him because you look unreal, absolutely gorgeous in all white. Your dress isn’t the princess type with a long train but it’s a rather modest one, a simple number that seemed to drape over your body perfectly, hugging you in just the right places but more than that, it’s your face, like you’re almost glowing and Jungkook’s heart picks up it’s pace because the day he has been dreaming of is finally here and he keeps thinking that he must be the luckiest man alive to finally (almost) officially be able to spend the rest of his life with you.

The crowd coos as Buster makes his way down the aisle, the small box containing the rings attached to his collar. He’s clearly enjoying the attention because he stops to pose for photos, almost stealing the show! But, he makes it to the end in timely fashion, stopping next to Jimin so he could detach the box from the collar. Nervously, both you and Jungkook take the rings from the box.

Jungkook starts with his vows first and his voice cracks when he starts, almost unable to hold back the impending tears. He clears his throat with a laugh before he looks up to gaze at you, telling you that he hopes you know that by marrying him you’re going to have to live with the fact that he always seems to fart up a storm every morning and that although he apologizes for it, it’s something he can’t control, and he hopes it’s something you won’t leave him for once he’s old and gray, and out of money.

Jungkook doesn’t even have to look at the paper he has in his hand because he already knows what he wants to tell you by heart. Aside from his mother, you are the only person that sees him for who he is, for who he can be and who he wanted to be. You bring out the best in him and with you by his side, he truly thinks he’d be able to do anything. He promises you a life full of adventure, happiness and genuine love because you deserved the world and he was going to give you everything he could. 

You regret choosing to go second because now you’re forced to wipe away your tears while you read out your vows, because really, how could you listen to Jungkook speak like that and not cry. When you begin, you’re stammering and Jungkook offers you a soft smile before reaching out to gently wipe away a stray tear or two. You let out a deep exhale, abandoning the piece of paper that you had worked day and night on because the words on there just weren’t good enough to explain how grateful you are for the man before you. All you really want to say is that you’re so glad that Jungkook loves you wholeheartedly for who you are, and you promise to love him the same. The world has always told the both of you that the pair of you just aren’t destined to be but to hell with that. You believed in creating your own fate, your own destiny and you’ll be damned if Jungkook wasn’t a part of that. If soulmates exist, you are quite sure that he is yours. He knows you inside and out, perhaps even better than yourself and you know you’d never want to spend your life in the arms of another for he truly is your escape. You tell him that you only hope to be his too and he laughs shaking his head and utters 7 words that has your heart flip-flopping in your chest.

“You’re not my escape,” He smiles. “You’re my home.”

When the two of you finally slide on the ring on each other’s finger, there’s cheers that ring around the backyard, Buster barking excitedly as the two of you share the first kiss of your official ceremonially confirmed marriage. There isn’t a person in attendance that feels bitter about the marriage, not even your family despite the unreadable expression on their faces. Truth be told, they’re happy for you. You deserved better, more than they’ve ever given you, they were human enough to admit that and they’re glad that you finally have someone that can give you everything they never did.

When the ceremony is all over and done with, it’s just an hour before sun down, enough time for the two of you to change out of your respective outfits for something more comfortable. A short drive later, you find yourself with your hand intertwined with Jungkook’s as the two of you sat by the grave of his mother, listening as he tells her about the day, tells her he wishes she was here. You let your other hand rest on top of his and you tell her thank you, thank you for giving birth to the man that you love so much and that you intend to care for him, like she had, until the end of time.

three

The story of special day number three starts perhaps almost two years into the marriage, almost 6 months before said day. You’re sat at the table with Jungkook, friendly conversation going around between the other people seated at the table. It’s the anniversary of the founding of the town and every single resident has found themselves at the local square to celebrate, eat and drink the day away. You’re looking further off in the distance, having zoned out of the lovely little discussion that was going on around you to look at the children running circles around each other, giggling and talking amongst each other, your gaze ever so warm and fond.

“Do you think you’ll ever want any of your own?” The lady beside you asks and Jungkook perks up to listen to your reply, knowing the answer to this question full well because he’s asked you once or twice before when you’re cuddled up next to him in bed.

“No, they’re too much work,” You laugh and the lady laughs along with you agreeing to your statement. Everyone thinks it’s true, that you don’t want children of your own because they’re messy and loud but Jungkook knows better, knows the look in your eyes whenever you look at them from afar, it’s one that people have when they’re looking at something they can’t have. Jungkook thinks that it has to do with your childhood, that your parents, no matter how much you refuse to admit it have scarred you so deeply that you can’t possibly fathom having a child on the off chance that in a moment of anger, you would say something to your child that was remotely similar to what your parents had said to you over and over again over the course of your childhood. People often say that children will take after their parents when they’re older and if anything, that is your worst nightmare, to become the people who had caused you so much hurt.

Jungkook joins in the conversation, nodding that the two of you simply wouldn’t have time for a child, which is a lie because Jungkook would do anything to make sure he has time for his child, if he had one that is. But he lies, lies for you because he knows what will follow after if he doesn’t say anything. They’ll badger you with questions like: But who will look after you when you’re old if you have no children? Do you hate children? Are you sure you’ll never want them? He prefers to take the brunt of it, letting them know that he wouldn’t know the first thing about being a father but of course that’s a lie too. Jungkook knows just what kind of father he would be. He would be everything his father wasn’t.

It’s exactly 5 months and 3 weeks since that dinner, since you had that conversation that made your stomach churn, which actually is quite funny since your stomach has been doing a lot of that lately even without having been asked the classic question of why you haven’t thought about having children yet.

You refuse to think about it, refuse to admit that certain smells, one that are completely normal, like the fudge brownies that you usually bake suddenly makes you feel like throwing up or the fact that you had literally forced Jungkook to drive you to the city in the middle of the night because your fried chicken craving was driving you insane.

Something at the back of your mind tells you that these are classic signs of… of… you don’t even want to say it because maybe if you didn’t, it wouldn’t be true. You think back to the past two weeks or so, acknowledging that yes, maybe you had allowed Jungkook to forgo the condom but that’s because you had been on the pill, right?! Not like you had missed a day or two in the past week, right?! Not like your period isn’t on time this month, right?! You wondered how many more lies you could tell yourself until you would have to drive down to the pharmacy in the city to pick up, you know, that special stick? The answer is not many because in just a few hours you’re in your bathroom with the stick in hand, wondering if you were supposed to pee on it sitting down? Standing up? Did it matter? You let out an annoyed groan before reaching into the box to pull out the instructions.

Two blue lines stare back at you and you let out a small scream. You pee on another stick… or maybe 5… just to be sure, you know? And now you’re looking down at 6 sticks that tell you the same thing… that you’re, that you’re… you can’t even bring yourself to say it.

You stuff everything into the plastic bag from the pharmacy, keeping at least one stick because… you had to tell Jungkook right? You keep the test somewhere in the back of your closet, beneath a pile of clothes, trying to form sentences in your head, wondering how the news would sit with him but first, you needed to accept reality and somehow you just refuse to.

You’re skittish around Jungkook for the next few days and though he notices it, he doesn’t bring it up because usually when he gives you time, you’ll let him know whatever it is that’s on your mind. He thinks you’re upset with him, waiting for him to figure out whatever it is without telling him and he’s trying so hard, running through every single thing he had done over the past week just to see if he could find whatever it is that he had done wrong. Was it because he forgot to flush the toilet that one day? It is isn’t it?

It’s the day, D-day, you proclaim. It has been a full week since you’ve taken the test and you’ve had exactly 7 days to think of what to say. You think a short speech would suffice… butter him up first and then apologize for missing the pill or something… but it’s not that part you’re really worried about, you sigh. It’s the fact that you’re going to have to raise a human being and you know Jungkook won’t say no to the idea, in fact you know he’ll be ecstatic, but he hasn’t thought it over like you. You’re not worried about the finances, or the fact that you’ll be incapable of loving the child, because you’ll do nothing but love your child, cherish them, but you’re worried your child won’t love you back or that Jungkook wouldn’t either because… you’re you and you’re flawed in the worst possible way, in a way that you couldn’t change even if you tried.

You’re so busy thinking that you hadn’t heard Jungkook come through the front door and you quickly stuff the pregnancy test behind you, between the pillows on the couch you were sitting on.

“Y/N, babe, listen,” Jungkook smiles nervously as he takes a seat beside you on the couch, loosening the tie around his neck. “I know you’re upset with me but I swear I thought I flushed the toilet—”

“I’m pregnant,” You blurt out and you immediately shut your eyes because fuck you were supposed to shower him with compliments first! Tell him that it had been an honest mistake, that you had forgotten that you had missed a pill that week when you told him he didn’t need the condom.

“You’re pregnant,” He murmurs, and you let out a sigh, an apology on the tip of your tongue when you look at him, his eyebrows furrowed together as if he had never heard the word before. “You’re pregnant!” He repeats, his face somewhere between shock and joy as it finally dawns on him why you’ve been acting so weird lately. A large smile finds it way onto Jungkook’s face and he’s about to engulf you in a hug, pick you up and swing you around in his arms but then he sees the way your bottom lip wobbles and suddenly there’s a stream of tears rolling down your cheeks. He’s stunned for a second because wait, was that not the reaction you had wanted from him?

“Babe… Hey, Y/N… What’s wrong?” He quickly asks, scooting closer towards you so he can hold you close, wipe away your tears. You’re only shaking your head, sobbing so hard that it makes Jungkook’s heart break into two. He lets you take your time, simply gripping your hand when you produce the pregnancy test from behind the pillows, the two lines showing that you are indeed, pregnant.

“What if… what if,” You hiccup, sobs chopping up your sentence. “What if our baby’s a 4?”

Oh, ohhh, Jungkook understands now, realizes just why you’re crying.

“You’re going to end up hating me and our baby will too,” You mumble, picturing just what it’ll be like, complete silence in your house, absolute distaste burning behind Jungkook’s eyes when the number begins to glow above your child’s head.

“I…,” Jungkook’s at a complete loss of words, unable to comprehend just why you’d think that. “I’d never hate you,” He says rather sternly, as if he’s upset that you’d ever think that.

He catches it, the look on your face, one that says you didn’t believe him at all. It’s because he doesn’t know, you sigh, doesn’t understand what it’s like and you’ve experienced it one too many times, how people accept you at first despite your number but one by one, they all seem to leave you in the dust.

“Nothing will ever stop me from loving you… nothing,” He breathes, bringing up his hand to stroke your cheek, imploring for you to look at him. “Do you understand that?”

You neither nod or shake your head, your eyes simply downcast as you fiddle nervously with the pregnancy test in your hand.

“Whatever our baby’s number is, even if it’s a damn zero, I’m gonna love our baby all the same,” He smiles, prying the pregnancy test out of your hand so he can hold yours. “And I will always, always love you. That will never change.”

This time, you give him a little nod which makes him smile and he uses his thumb to rub comforting circles to the back of your palm.

“What if.. what if our baby hates me?” You frown. “I don’t want our baby to go through what I did, Kook,” You sigh, your shoulders drooping down as you refer to your painful childhood, the fact that you were viewed as if you were like scum simply because you had a single digit number. You don’t want to bring another human being into the world just for them to feel nothing but pain.

“Our baby won’t,” He reassures you, his tone strong and sure as if he was promising you that, but you know he can’t change what others would think of your child. “You and I are going to love our child so much that the sun is going to shine out of their ass because all they’ll ever know is love,” He smiles. “And, I’ll fight everyone and anyone who tries to hurt them or you, you hear me?”

You let out a light laugh, appreciating how Jungkook could make you feel better no matter the pain you feel in your chest and you smile at him affectionately. He takes the chance to press a light kiss to your cheek as if to let you know that he understands how hard this must be for you, that you must’ve been going over these thoughts again and again for some time now. The smile you have fades as quickly as it came though and he sees you lick the corner of your lips, tears threatening to reappear again.

“I… I won’t force you to… you know have a child,” He whispers, his hand giving yours a short squeeze. “It’s up to you love.”

“No, I want to keep it,” You answer almost instantaneously.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook tries to hide his excitement but he does a horrible job of it because he’s quite literally bouncing in his seat.

“I’m so happy, I really am,” He smiles before he calms down considerably, letting out a deep exhale as he placed his hand on your cheek to get your attention. “Listen I… I want this but only if you do. Don’t just say yes because you think that’s what I want you to say.”

“No, no,” You laugh. “I want this, I do.”

You really did, and maybe you just needed to hear that Jungkook was going to be with you every step of the way, that your child, no matter what, won’t have a childhood that’s anywhere close to yours.

“We’re having a baby,” He murmurs, almost as if he was talking to himself, then he turns to you. “You and me, our own little human!”

He’s so endearing it makes your heart hurt. He presses a kiss to your lips, something he had been wanting to do since you had uttered the two words that has made this day one of the best days in his life. He tells you again and again that he loves you and you tell him the same, thinking you’ll never grow tired of him, of his love. It’s a thought that begins to falter later on during the pregnancy because it’s as if your child is having a fucking karate lesson in your belly, kicking non-stop, especially when you wanted to sleep. Sometimes you almost feel like strangling Jungkook, wanting to scream at him because it’s his fault! He did this to you! He was the reason there’s a baby in your stomach but he pacifies you with fried chicken, even if it’s 3 am in the morning so, you let him live to fight another day. To be honest, this whole pregnancy thing scares Jungkook a little because sometimes you were moody, downright scary but he can only try his best to make the whole carrying a child in your belly thing less stressful by massaging your feet. For the most part, watching your stomach grow with size has been entertaining and he makes sure to take a picture each week just because and usually it’s a relatively ordinary process but one time you beckon him over, making him lie next to you.

“Watch this,” You smile as you lay on the bed.

He’s staring at your belly curiously, unsure what he’s supposed to be looking for because he sees it every day, leaves a light kiss on it all the time. Then he sees it, your belly moving as if there’s something growing inside and he lets out a light yelp. You laugh uncontrollably as Jungkook stares with his mouth agape. Of course, he knew you were pregnant, that you had a baby growing inside of you but yet he hadn’t really comprehended that until now. He whips out his phone just to record it because do people know babies do that? He didn’t. He wonders what Jimin would think of it.

“Okay, now go get me some fried chicken,” You command after having had enough of Jungkook rubbing his palm over your belly, just to be sure that it was your belly that was moving and not just him imagining it.

“Yes ma’am,” He answers with a salute.

four

Jungkook wishes he has more to say about this day but to be fair, he felt like he wasn’t even fully present on the day himself because he was genuinely about to shit himself when you told him your water had broke. He rushed you to the hospital, not forgetting to grab the bag that the two of you had already packed in advance, knowing that this day was approaching.

As you go through labour pains, you grip his hand, hard and Jungkook swears he might have a hairline fracture on a finger or two because boy did you have a grip but he understands and it’s a small price he’s willing to pay considering it isn’t him that is pushing out a human out of his damn body.

When he hears the first cry, his heart almost stops beating and then starts beating at twice it’s normal speed when the doctor turns to him to speak.

“Would you like to carry her?”

Her! A baby girl! Which he already knows from the ultrasounds early on in the pregnancy but still! Anyway, back to the question, would he like to carry her? Yes. No. Yes. No. What if he drops her?

“I’m uhh, not sure how to carry—”

The doctor laughs softly before he gives instructions to Jungkook like he has to many new fathers. Jungkook sways his crying child in his arms cooing at her as you look up at him with tired eyes. Even in your exhaustion, you manage a few tears, a lot less compared to Jungkook who’s kind of almost sobbing in the operation theatre.

_________, He murmurs the name the two of you had decided weeks ago. It fit her perfectly, he thinks, even if at this point, all babies look the same to him.

It’s the best day of his life… or at least one of, he smiles. He cradles his little baby in his arms for a few more seconds before he steps closer to you, letting you hold your child for the first time. A family, he sighs. A real one. And he was going to make it the best damn one.

five

Jungkook is cautious with his daughter at first because she’s tiny, fragile and he’s afraid he might break her by just touching her but his heart becomes goo in his chest whenever he sees her fidget in the crib, kick out her tiny little feet or you know just… breathe in general. He’s absolutely whipped for his child and why shouldn’t he be? He loves her and thinks she’s the cutest baby to ever exist and he doesn’t care if the lady in town says all parents think that their child is the cutest because she’s wrong, his child is the cutest, ever, no question about it… even if she’s the reason he gets exactly 0.2 hours of sleep every night. He won’t lie, parenting is extremely exhausting and he’s fought with you over these past months more than ever but in the end it’s all worth it when she’s asleep in the crib and he drags himself back to bed to cuddle with you.

Watching _________ grow up is magical to him. From the day she manages to sit up, to the day she manages to murmur things, to the day she takes her first steps with absolutely no help at all (which he managed to record!), every single milestone makes Jungkook smile until his cheeks begin to ache. He simply can’t believe that he has a child, often pointing down to her in the crib before looking at you to say, we made that! To which your reply is often, yeah, and I did most of the work, which he admits is true but still, the child is half him, he often reminds you.

He loves his daughter with everything he has and would completely spoil her if it wasn’t for you who was there to keep him in check and he thinks he’s done absolutely everything he could to make sure she knows that he loves her and yet, she still hasn’t said the thing he wishes to hear the most. She’s a 98, just like him which honestly, came as a surprise to both you and him but despite the matching number, she doesn’t do what he expects of her, doesn’t say what he’s been hoping to hear for a while now.

It’s frustrating for Jungkook but in all of her 7-ish months of life, she’s said a grand total of 3 words, that being,

Doggy, because Buster, he’s just a charmer. From babies to old ladies, he had ‘em all in the palm of his… paws.

Yum, often repeated twice, was codeword for I’m hungry and you better feed me before I start screaming.

And the one he was the least happy about,

Mama

You could see the pure disappointment on his face when his daughter uttered it not once, not twice but three times in a row as she stretched her hands outwards, wanting to be carried.

“I’ll carry you!” Jungkook exclaims. “You just have to say it! Say dad!” He instructs her but she simply turns away, looking at you as you swoop her up into your hands.

He repeats the word ‘Dad’ to her like a goddamn parrot, day in, day out, hoping that one day she would repeat after him, but she doesn’t. Jungkook’s given up hope, stops trying after weeks of saying the same word over and over, silently waiting for the day his daughter acknowledges him.

Luckily for him, the day comes not too long after when it’s a summer day where Jungkook is lazing around on the carpet, his daughter laying atop his chest, taking a nap. He has his hands beneath his head, eyes slowly fluttering as he feels himself drifting off to sleep but he’s startled awake when he feels his daughter move groggily on his chest letting out a few whines.

“_______, are ya awake?”

More whines before she’s rubbing at her eyes sleepily.

He places his hands on her, gently stroking her back as her eyes finally flutter open and a light smile finds it’s way onto Jungkook’s lips. It’s a miracle she isn’t crying like she usually does when she wakes up from her nap. She stares curiously at him as if there were a thousand thoughts going through her adorably tiny head.

“Dada.”

Jungkook stops breathing for a second and his mouth hangs open, in shock.

“Dada,” She repeats.

“Y/N!!!!” He screams, picking off _______ from his chest. “Get your phone!”

“What?” You call from the kitchen, your tone almost nonchalant as if Jungkook wasn’t witnessing the most important moment of his life right now.

“Your phone! Now!” He shouts as he scrambles to his feet, cradling _______ against him.

He makes his way to the kitchen to find you still busy, looking through the fridge, having absolutely no urgency to comply to Jungkook’s request. He stops right in front of you and you look up at him confused.

“Say it,” He coos, looking at _______.

She only gazes at him curiously, not understanding what he’s saying because of course, she’s a toddler.

“Doggy,” She replies, pointing to Buster who had just walked into the kitchen and you laugh boisterously when Jungkook’s face crumples in hurt.

“Jungkook,” You snort. “Leave her alone, won’t you? She’ll say dad someday… Just be patient.”

“She said it! I swear she did!” He exclaims. “Twice!”

“Yeah, sure she did,” You scoff.

“Did too!” He grumbles before turning to _______ . “Dad. Say it, say dad,” He coos, and you bring a palm to your face because here he goes agai—

“Dada.”

“Ha! Won’t you look at that!!!” He’s practically jumping and if he wasn’t carrying her, he would’ve probably done a summersault, a cartwheel, maybe even a damn split.

“Who’s your favourite parent? It’s me isn’t it?” He smiles down at _______.

“Please,” You laugh. “She’s only said it onc—”

“Dada!”

“Yeah, you’re right! That’s me! I’m dada! And you love me more than mama don’t you?”

“Dada,” Is her reply and Jungkook’s screaming internally because wow, what a day today is. The best day of his life. It’s the best damn day.

You want to be mad at Jungkook for being so annoying but again, it’s like he’s a huge man child and he’s so stupidly endearing that you can’t do anything but laugh.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Don’t be upset,” He smiles. “You’ve held the title of favourite parent for far too long okay? It’s time I had my chance.”

You only nod at him, giving him his moment of glory, pecking him on the cheek because how can you resist a man who argues with you about whether your daughter loves you or him more when your parents barely acknowledged your existence.

It’s been a simple day, a relatively normal day, at least for you… Jungkook would have something else to say about today but just like him, you concur that it’s one of the best days of your life because life isn’t really about the grand, great things to you, it’s about the simple things. It’s about how right now, you have a husband that loves you unconditionally and a daughter that you love unconditionally and really, that’s more than you could ever ask for. You no longer live each day, wishing the misery would end rather you live each day, embracing the love and happiness that you find around you. That isn’t to say every single day is just sunshine and rainbows, of course there are bad ones, many in fact, because life isn’t perfect but the good outweighs the bad and that’s all you’ve ever wanted.

Maybe life hasn’t played out the way you’ve always wanted it to, the family residence you called your home for so many years was still cold and unloving but life is about growing, about changing and if you had done neither maybe you wouldn’t have felt a world of hurt when everything seemed to have crumbled around you years ago but neither would you be feeling an unrivaled amount of happiness today, having Jungkook tease you over the fact that your daughter had switched allegiances, that he is in fact, the favourite parent to her. He’s insufferable, he truly is but maybe Jungkook was right when he gazed upon you as you finished saying your vows to him, the 7 word sentence he uttered at the altar still one of your favourite things he has ever said to you because it’s true, he isn’t your escape, he is your home.

p.s: wew it’s the end! this time for real! thank you all for reading!!! it’s been such a journey (’:

p.p.s: the explanation for why the daughter has a 98 is that technically the oc’s number is really high too because she’s a twin remember? (like flashback to chapter 7). Twins are special and it’s kinda known that they in general have really high numbers… just that in the mc’s case, it was unfortunate that the sister did not survive and hence the number couldn’t be re-balanced. also, about oc finding out about her twin… well, maybe in the distant future when one of her parents passes away…

I hope this epilogue answers all your questions but if you have any other questions, I’d be happy to answer!!! (like honestly really happy so ask away!) Thank you all so much for reading escape (‘:

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5  // Part 6 // Part 6.5 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9

#bangtan bookclub #kwriterskollection #kpopwritingnet #bts fanfic #bts scenarios

[proserpine-in-phases]

@nachttour tagged me in a writing question thing!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

uh yeah there’s like, several. some of them are better developed than other but a lot of the reason I’ve been holding off on writing them just comes down to feeling inadequate due to my own limited experience with relationships and feelings of complete inadequacy. it’s hard to write an epic romancu when I’m aromantic as fuck and have a hard time conceptualizing what those feelings might be like to experience, for example, or like, I want the story to be funny but I feel like I’m not actually a very funny person?

also I always feel like I need to do more research. I get stuck on the research phase about 85% of the time haha

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

man I am embarrassed by MYSELF existing, so  idk probably all of it when you get right down to it

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

it seems to vary a bit. sometimes I just power through start to finish, but sometimes I need to write the ending first to remind myself of what I’m shooting for. sometimes I just gotta write some random scenes in the middle before I forget what they are and have to figure out where they’ll go later.

considering the longest thing I’ve managed to finish comes in at about 12 k  I don’t know if I have enough data to really come up with a firm answer for this one though. from what I can tell, it really does seem like I start at the beginning and go for a bit, write the end, and try to connect the two with occasional random middle bits getting written out of order and a general feeling of “I’ll fix it in post” carrying me through

4) favorite character you’ve written

probably Samantha Traynor. she’s such a fucking nerd and I love her. it was surprisingly easy to write for her once I got started. at least I THINK I did a good job writing her, I have no actual idea haha

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

I’ve written TWO mass effect fics featuring Samara as a main character and I have no idea how this happened or why because she’s about in the middle when it comes to my most to least favorite mass effect characters list

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

there’s a couple of fics I wrote for fic exchanges that I kinda wish I could take back and turn into something else because I love the concept but feel guilty about idk, using as a springboard because the original is a gift, or something. it feels ehhhhhhhhh disingenuous to continue them when the gift is supposed to be a singular and self contained unit

for example, oh man I would love to take that vrisrezi space pirates au someplace, but I don’t know if I should because the fic itself is a gift, complete, and so forth. 

plus I hate the way I run out of steam about 4 chapters into everything. I would like to not run out of motivation please

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

considering my output is so low I barely consider myself a writer at all tbh.

but yes, embarrassed. I hope to god the three people I know irl who follow me just like. never see those posts haha

8) favorite genre to write

space adventure! and lately? mysteries even though I have no FUCKING idea why or even how to write them, which is why I have at least three projects stalled out on me haha

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I read a lot, mostly. sometimes I stare at a wall. or play minesweeper. 

also when I’m doing something fairly mindless sometimes my mind wanders and I hit something. 

oh and music. music is great

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I usually need music, mood music preferable, instrumental so the lyrics don’t distract me. generally I prefer to not be around people when I write, though a public setting is also fun to write in. I’m too distractable to actually get any done though, so I usually end up just looking like a tool with their notebook out if I try to write in a coffee shop or whatever tho, haha

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

I think writing fanfic has really helped me figure out what it means to write in character. also I think I’m starting to get better at balancing dialogue versus narration? at least a little bit

12) your weaknesses as an author

the inability to actually finish shit. 

unwillingness to approach emotions that make me feel uncomfortable. 

the fact that I often approach writing a character with the thought of what I would do in a situation rather than what the character would do (which is why writing fanfiction is helping me with that haha)

coming up with plots that lend themselves well to longer stuff

13) your strengths as an author

pretty good at dialogue

when it comes to my own shit, pretty good at coming up with interesting fantasy worlds (I think they’re interesting at least)

I’ve got a pretty firm grasp overall just the nuts and bolts of writing: I mean I tutored English in college for fuck’s sake I know how to write a grammatically correct run on sentence when I want to 

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

not really

15) why did you start writing?

I wanted to know what happened next

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

not really? I mean, there are specific character TYPES that’ll get me every time, though, like the happy go lucky person who has to learn what pain is but still come out the other side a LOT worse for wear but not completely broken (think Tasslehoff Burrfoot, or perhaps less obscure Vash the Stampede) but I wouldn’t say they haunt me, per say

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

don’t be afraid to be self indulgent. you’ll enjoy it more and who the fuck cares, anyway? people who’ll make fun of you for doing what you love are ass holes

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

If I’m honest I can’t really say what influences my writing style, if I even have one. Mostly all I can do is list off my favorite authors because I’m pretty sure they all have something to do with it. 

so let’s just do that I guess.  when I was a teenager I tended to find a single author and just read through all their works before moving on, and these are the big ones that stand out:

Connie Willis, Anne McCaffrey, Steven Brust and Ursula K. Le Guin. Connie Willis for the humor she includes in almost all her writing, Anne McCaffrey because I STILL spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about Pern. She had a real skill for coming up with both great characters and great settings, even if what she did with them, and also her inability to keep continuity were less good. Steven Brust introduced me to the idea of relating to morally reprehensible characters at an alarmingly young age. Ursula K. Le Guin, I just love her. No idea if it’s actually done anything GOOD to my writing but she gives me something to aspire to.

I read just. a ridiculous amount of fantasy and science fiction as a kid, the genres as a whole without a doubt influence the type of shit I end up writing. also in seventh grade I mainlined dragonlance, just the whole damn thing

later in college I got really into Margaret Atwood. her focus on female characters and narrative just is really great.  

then I went through a depressive phase in my late 20s and just exclusively read Julia Quinn, Joanna Lindsey, Sabrina Jeffreys and Eloisa James, and that was IT. so I’m pretty sure my foray into the romance genre is what makes me honestly prefer povs limited to two or three characters  hey, reading romance novels also lead me to the realization that I’m aromantic so \o/ I guess

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I outline and then give up lol

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

little spurts until something grabs me and makes me marathon. usually that’s a deadline, but sometimes it’s also inspiration 

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

mostly just holy shit I can’t believe I wrote this! sometimes that’s bad, sometimes it’s good. I can’t really tell if I’m good at divorcing myself from my writing enough to give me perspective on it, to tell the truth, because for a good lot of it, I still think it’s pretty good so ???

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

it’s hard for me to let a character be embarrassed by the dumb shit they do. I don’t want them to do dumb shit because of it, which makes it hard for the character to have shit to grow and learn from.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I’m pretty sure my own issues with having and experiencing some emotions makes its way into the stuff I choose to write about, especially when it comes to the original stuff (I have. at LEAST three different plot outlines that involve characters literally losing the ability to experience emotions and having to find a way to heal or gain it back haha)  

also the fic I wrote about the box ghost is literally just about what it’s like to work in a factory haha

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

listen. 

yes.

I fucking. LOVE. research. 

honestly this is the stage where I most often get lost in the weeds, distracted by my own need to know more

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

“He was not the knight Casey taught him to be, but he was close enough for government work“ remains the single best pun I’ve ever written

tagging: @anthropwashere @inktail @manicpixiesdreamdragon if you guys are up for it!

#meme #writing meme #questions about writing

[theredherosaga]

WMaH Chpt 21 (Author’s Notes)

WELCOME! WELCOME! WELCOME!  

As always, I have a lot to ramble about the new chapters xD (This will probably become public later, so this is more of a exclusivity on this begining of patreon)

First of all, sorry it took so long >.< a ton of stuff happened in my life since last chapter. I'm  not here to cry out, so let's get into the notes!

1) Keith and Ethan

I really loved to write their interactions. How Ethan went from "urgh, I hate you, you fucking mutt" to "OMG! I LOVE YOU, MAN!". They have a lot in common: both were forced to grow too fast (Keith lost his mom pretty earlier and then he had to fight a war that wasn't his. Ethan lost his whole family in one go and had to organize a resistance from scrat). Thus, it seems natural that after some initial hostility, after they talked with each other, they would become very good friends.

Well, for now, Ethan is also kinda trying to compensate for his previous mistakes by having Keith in a very highly account. Right now, if Keith said that they were having a trip to hell, Ethan wouldn't even question, he'd just follow. But he'll get over it and they'll work very well together. Just like it's not ok to think of other people as inferior, it's not that fine to think of them as demi-gods. Ethan will grow, just wait for it =3

2) Peter/Pidge

You guys have NO IDEA of how much I was just waiting for this moment to rise! xD Just to make this comparison even more clear.

In case you didn't notice, I was already making a connection between Pidge and Peter (not because their names start with the letter P, mind you). Peter selected a color of ribbon for each of their friends memories: Blue for RPR-76, Red for MCHZ-0 and Yellow for GNC-Y.  They picked up the Green ribbon for themselves AND gave a Black ribbon for Keith to tie up his hair.

The connection was already there and I'll probably explore it more in the future 83c don't forget that Peter said that coding was one of his passions.

Speaking of that...

3) Hedy Lamarr, creator of the Wi-Fi

The producers made a reference to Allan Turin on the VLD series when Pidge was rambling about the code on the Olkari fungus. I used the same principle to make a reference to Hedy Lamarr,  Austrian-born American film actress and inventor who helped creating the Wi-Fi =D Peter mentions her as " Hed Lan Amar" xD I tried to keep a similar name.

Isn't that awesome? =D

4) Firenze and Istanbul

The references I tried to use for Esidarap and Leic were, respectively, Firenze and Istanbul. The problem is that I've never been to any of those cities, I'm afraid. Thus I filled it with a lot of imagination. I hope you guys don't mind.

Like, it's pretty damn hard to keep creating new worlds, so sometimes I'll use some references, even if they are... well... more of my imagination than real.

Nede will be inspired on Cairo, by the way.

5) “Caw, caw, motherfuckers.”

I just had to say that I was imagining that phrase every single time I wrote the phoenix rising from Keith's sword xD

Anyways, we always knew our boy is special <3

Speaking of that...

6) Magic in the universe

I know that the original series wants to make Voltron be all unique and nothing else compare, blah-blah-blah, yadda yadda, but I kinda find that really unfair to the rest of the universe.

Why can't they have their own magic/science and defend themselves using that? Why wait for Voltron?

Hence, the Phoenix Sword.

Of course, since the fanfic is still inspired by VLD, Voltron will be the strongest of them all. Like, Nevaeh has only the magical sword. It's not as powerful as a giant robot. However, I really like the concept of more magic around the universe that it's not Altean or Galra.

I'll probably make more of it in the future (but Keith probably won't be the chosen one again LOL enough is enough... is it? 83c)

7) Keith = King Arthur

Speaking of magic swords, HOW CAN I NOT MAKE THIS REFERENCE, EVEN IF ONLY ON THE AUTHOR'S NOTES? XD

Keith literally took the sword out of the stone hahahaha xD

"But DZ! He's no king!" you might say.

Hum... we shall see about that 83c

7) Star wars LOL

As always, I just couldn't help myself but make as many Star Wars references as possible xD

ESPECIALLY from Rogue One, my favourite move of them all <3 <3 <3

Those quotes were prepared since I watched the movie. The title of the Chapter came later (I had other thing prepared. I just can't remember anymore what it was LOL).

It's almost a drinking game by now LOL

9) Tracer 2.0

By this time, you probably already know that I love to make references to Overwatch, even if I don't play it (and I have yet to read the whole comics). Thus, I couldn't resist but make yet another character similar to Tracer xD

"Wait, what? What do you mean by 'another'?" you might be wondering.

Well, I kinda forgot to mention (and I'm sorry for that >.<) but I had already used Tracer's concept on The Broken Pride, when I created the character Hailyn (Chpt 3, the pilot they wanted to ride Red).

For Vien, I just refined her better =3

Just some silly easter egg hahaha

I guess this is all for now, folks!

#Comments on the newest chapter

[burmecianblackmage]

Today marks this blogs third anniversary

Time sure flies, huh? Who’d have thought that what started out as a small little idea way back when would eventually grow to become such a grand and complex character, with a long and detailed backstory and even a very important NPC spawning off said story?

I sure didn’t.

To be quite honest, I was back then not sure whether or not Sceada would ever catch a hold in the rp community, and there have been periods where it felt like his foothold was vanishing, but he endured, and now I am still here after 3 years. And you know what?

None of that would have been possible without you guys.

A roleplay character and his story are, if you ask me, to an extent also only as good as their partners make them. The growth of a character comes through interaction, and without partners there simply is none. And with them, you sometimes don’t know just which way they might push your muse to develop - ain’t that the most exciting part about this our hobby?

So, in order to honor these three exciting, heartwarming (and heartbreaking at times), dramatic and simply awesome years, I wish to honor the people that made it possible!

~~~~ My dear friends ~~~~

@burmecias-protector

It seems fitting to start with you, cause after all, you were the very first person to ever give this blog a chance and play with me. And quite frankly? You never stopped being my go to person when it is about Burmecia and it’s inhabitants. You helped me shape my backstory and headcanons, allowed me to make your Freya a part of them somewhat by acknowledging the characters it introduced and their connection to her, and what I appreciate by far the most, even three years in you still play with me every now and then.

Thank you so much for everything. I know we may not converse much outside of rp but I still feel I got to know you a bit over the years and so I also want to say that I think you’re a great person and someone people greatly enjoy having for a friend. Stay awesome, and may your endeavors be crowned with success!

(Also, I’m still “sorry” for throwing Skadi at you like that, but I love what a good sport you’ve been about it and wanna thank you for dealing with her! I promise, she’ll eventually be less obnoxious)

@containyourmainposure

Oh Gwenny, if I were to list all the nice things I can say about you, I’d probably need a separate post just for you. You’re such a warm and kind person and you’re never afraid to voice your opinion, and I really admire that. And the same goes for the big changes you’ve made in your life, I am both so very happy for you and proud of you for making that leap, and at the same time a bit envious. Maybe one day I’ll have that strength too.

And your Leonora, my, she’s just such a wonderful sweetheart, I cannot fathom how one could not adore her. Reading you write her is not only a pleasure, no, it has also fundamentaly changed my perception of her when I replay TAY - I gotta admit, I at first considered her to be a bit boring in game, but I see now that I was mistaken, and not just because of how much depth you gave her. By now Leonora has actually become part of my extended list of favorites, and I feel you are to credit for that.

I always adore our plays, and am a bit sad to see them having become so scarce lately. Not only Sceada misses you and Leonora, I do too. I understand why the situation currently is as it is and let me assure you, it’s okay, but allow me at the same time to say that yes, I do miss these plays. And we don’t even need to go into detail about how much Sceada misses the sunshine to his rain... My poor lovesick fool. So I really hope that the day will come when we can play more often again. Until then, please stay as wonderful as you are and may you continue to succeed in all you do! You deserve all the happiness.

@artemisxbow

Maria oh Maria - no, I’m not gonna break into signing the opera from FF VI right now, behave Patrick - it feels like I’ve known you forever, though we only met through Pledged Prelude back in the day, and only rarely really spoke outside of plays. Curious how that sometimes goes, huh? But be that as it may, yours is a presence on my dashboard that I wouldn’t want to miss. I really adore your style of writing, the way you picture a scene and how you describe Maria and her inner struggles. I know out plays tend to get quite slow, curtesy of both our lives, but by the gods they are always, always worth waiting for. And seeing a reply after a long time has more than once felt like an exciting little present waiting to be unwrapped and discovered. Really, I love writing with you.

And Sceada is not in the least against it either. After all, if you would ask him who his closest friend is, who would he name other than Maria? He cares deeply for her and wants her to be happy, and he will never forget the kindness she showed him back in the day. I feel these two have a nice chemistry together, one of understanding and respect, and I shall with joy await just how that will develop over time. I for one hope that they both can learn to open up more to each other, both could really use it. But in the end, that’s not really up to us, right?

That said! I’ll also never forget the wonderful dynamic we had going when you played Victoria for a while, and she befriended Sceada, planning to use him for her own goals and played him. How he struggled with the path he saw her lay open for him to walk and it’s consequences, and last but definitely not least, their epic confrontation. Ah, good times...

Anyhow... what I want to say is Thank you Maria, for being such a consistent presence in my little Sceada’s life and for the many plays and deep conversations our muses shared. I shall gladly look forward for more to come, and I hope you do too. And who knows just where they’ll take us, hmm? ;)

@burmecianknight

Ah, Calisto... It’s been well over a year since you last graced our dashboards and we got to enjoy your presence, but don’t think that I’ve forgotten about you! Back in the days when I got to play with you it was always fun seeing your writing and the few threads we had always felt a bit special. I dunno why... but for Sceada you somehow felt like a sister, or probably what he would imagine it to feel like.

Kinda curious that it never occured to me back then that maybe they could be a ship, what with her being the only female Burmecian in his age group that he knew... - who knows if that would have worked though xD

Either way... I know you might not read this but if you do? I’d like you to know that I’m thankful for the time we played together and the plays we shared. And should you ever feel like returning? I will gladly play with you again right away.

@sharlayanmistress

My dear lady Minfilia, how long has it been? Too long. So I know you may not get to see this for a long time - if at all. But sadly that too is the nature of roleplaying, over time we are bound to say goodbye to many a player we liked.

You’ve been one such player for me. My Eorzea verse was pretty much centered on you, even thoug that was not the original intention. But Sceada felt so safe in her company and understood too, that actually she is to this day the only person who has seen his mark. Unbelieveable, right? But for him she was one he could trust - and apparently, he for her too. And I really liked that.

It is a pity that the canon story ended up ruining your muse for her, alongside your real life. I understand how you feel though, yet still... I’d have loved to play with you more. You had a very nice writing style. Maybe one day again. Maybe on another blog. Only time will tell.

@ladyofgentlebreezes

First things first: I always have and I still do love the concept of your Garuda. What with her memory loss and her Garuda-Egi trying to whisper into her ears - I found that briliant. But I also liked her personality. The sometimes shy, sometimes insecure she displayed, along with her kindness... She was a sweetheart with a troubled mind, and by the gods can Sceada relate to that. He truly wanted to help her and understand her.

And who knows, maybe even more could have come of it, we had some intriguing prompts that never failed to make me smile. I suppose we’ll never know.

But be that as it may... I wanna still say thank you Garuda, for you were a partner I adored and I always enjoyed your writing of your muse. I’d have loved to play more with you, but alas it wasn’t meant to be. Still I’ll always be grateful for the time we shared as rp partners.

@thepricewasright

Locke Cole! Boy, what a pity it is that we have not yet been able to play more. I always liked your muse in the games, and you play him so faithfully! And no, I don’t mean the fact that just like Locke you sometimes come and go ;) But really, jokes aside, I really like the way you play him, and even before we started playing I’ve enjoyed reading you on my dash.

And to think of the possibilities our muses have, the potential scenarios that might yet unfold! I’m so very eager to explore them and truly hope we get to do so one day. I mean, it’s not often that Sceada gets to have a “rival” so to speak, though we both know that their rivalry would be unneeded as their beloved loves them both. And the notion of them adventuring together! Whether it is pursuing some legends or rumors, or even looking for that cure, I feel these two can become quite close if things go well.

So, uhm, yeah. What I wanna say is, I’m very excited to play with you and I hope we get to do so again soon. I like the way you write and your presence on my dash, and I’d like to thank you for playing with me. May we have more fun plays to come! Or angst, muahahaha....

@ladyoflindblum

Did you know that ever since I first came across your blog I’ve been wanting to play with you? I’ve always adored Eiko, and your adult take on her is delightfully refreshing. I also fondly remember that time we both individually had the same headcannon, and how the idea still lives on on your blog. The concept of it will probably never stop interesting me.

And well, we did play. But for the longest time, it was only small interactions in groups, some even in distinct verses and so they never really met in their main verses. Until we started a thread over a year ago - and then life got in the way.

When you recently came to me and said you’d love to play together again, I was delighted - and surprised. Reviving the old thread? I’ve never had that happen before, but you know what? I love the idea. Especially since the setting’s so nice for these two to meet a first time proper! And you can bet I’m excited to see where this will go. So thank you, thank you a lot for returning and still being interested in this mine little creation!

@avaliantqueen

I’ve always liked Garnet (though for me she’ll always be Lilli, her german pseudonym) and so when I found your beautifully written take on her I could not help but want to play with you. But unfortunately, we somehow never got over the starter and maybe a reply or two before they died down. I gotta admit I still don’t know why... - but it is what it is. Maybe I’ll try again in the days to come, we’ll see ;)

What I can say here though is that the Mun here, Asuka, yeah? She’s an absolute sweetheart. And very talented. Seriously, have you seen her videos or her cosplay of Garnet? I am time and time again in awe when I see her works. Also, she is very kind and likes to help people, and is not afraid to stand up for those she holds dear, which I find quite admireable. So yeah... you keep on being your impressive self, you hear me? 

@beyondtheflyingbird

Mary! Have I ever told you what an absolute sweetheart you are? Well, yes, I know I have, but don’t think that’ll stop me from doing so again! Because really, you are such a nice and caring person! I still dearly remember talking to you when things were really rough for me and you even went so far as to offer me an alternative, a path out. I couldn’t take it back then, but I will never forget just how much it meant to me that someone cared so much. I know we haven’t spoken all that much in the past year because life has a tendency to get in the way, but I still feel that if things went extremely downhill and I needed someone to talk, you’d have my back - and I want you to know that I’d have yours, anytime.

Also, it’s so refreshing sometimes to just be able to talk with someone in your native language xD

That said, now that you recently returned I’m really hoping that we get to play together again! I love your Garnet and I especially loved her caring nature in certain threads and prompts. And you’re so full of great ideas! Like when I sent in that Kiss in the Rain thing and instead of just going small with a smooch or such in a rainy city, you had it have an emotional build up, a deep sadness over what was lost and a kiss meant to comfort an aching soul standing in the ruins of what once was his homeland - just how amazing is that? Seriously Mary, I’d love to play with you again, it’d be both an honor and a pleasure.

@sunny-explosions

Selphie is at times bubbly, usually quite cheerful, sometimes a bit too friendly - and eerily fond of blowing things up - and you convey that perfectly my dear! I always enjoy seeing you on the dash, and often can’t help sending in memes or prompts - even if my own muse is at times upset with me because of the results. And we’re still trying to whip up an actual, bigger thread so here’s hoping!

@feralstriike

Ah, the lovely Fran! We have had the pleasure of some small threads a few times so far, and I gotta admit I always liked the dynamic we had between our two not-quite-standard-human Muses. Fran is a mystery and apparently enjoys that fact, and if Sceada is one thing then it is fascinated by mysteries. I was always curious how they’d get along, and as we saw from some of the older threads they could well have become friends - and hey, who knows? Seeing how you came back a while ago, maybe that is still a possibility.

Either way though, I quite like your writing and I enjy seeing you pop up on my dash every now and then.

@briidunviing

Brii, I know we haven’t played much yet. We have that one thread, and a short thing from a prompt, and that’s it. And I also know that you more often than not feel your replies don’t live up to mine. Now... let me tell you something..

That is not the case.

Brii, you write your character well and convey what she feels or goes through clearly enough. You have an unique writng style, which sets you apart from others and on top of that your muse is quite the interesting concept. So believe me when I say that it is all fine, okay? Don’t worry about your roleplaying. Aren’t you, like most of us I believe, rp-ing because you enjoy it? Because it helps distract you, focus on something else for a while?

Also I’m so sorry about everything you have to deal with irl. I wish I could do more than just talk to help you but sadly, I cannot. So at the very least... allow me to offer you an open ear whenever your need one. To qoute one of my all-time favorite scenes in FF history: You Are Not Alone. Okay?

@dancing-dagger

I’ve been following you for a while already, but I don’t think we ever had much interaction before, which is a pity. I’ve quite liked both your Leila and Milleuda for some time now, but found myself struggling to find a way to initiate interaction. And then Sceada decides he wants to send that prompt in. Boy oh boy, did that turn out in an interesting way... I’m honestly quite curious whether we’ll continue with it, and just where it’ll go - depending on the result Leila will truly steal something from him xD

But either way, I’d love to get to know her and/or Milleuda better and interact with them, so I’ll try to come up with something for at least one of them! 

@the-shadow-of-a-wielder

You know, it’s kinda weird. I’ve known you and your muse for but a short time now, our first actual interaction having been the advent calendar I had made. And look at it now: We’ve been talking quite a lot, Amina has become a close ally to Sceada in the group verse and we’ve even discussed possible ways for it to extend beyond the group should the need arise. Granted, the fine tuning between our muses needs improvement yet, but I feel it works fine between us Muns, don’t you agree? And there is absolutely no denying that Amina is an interesting OC, so yeah... I’m really looking forward to continuing our plays^^

@losteidolon

Now we’ve barely known each other for a few days now, but when I stumbled over your OC I almost cried from joy. A FF9 OC! Well written! Interesting concept! And active! - Honestly, from my experience those are rare to come by! I am very excited to see just how our two OCs will get along - even though that one prompt already was a bad start in Sceada’s eyes. This is not how he likes to meet people xD

@colourfulvirtuoso and @elderinwhite

You two I’ve only recently started interacting with, but I have so far really enjoyed it! You have lovely writing styles and from what I can tell so far some nice ideas, so I am truly looking forward to playing more with you as time goes on!

I’d also like to give a big thanks to the groups I was part of in these 3 years, for I met many a wonderful person in them and enjoyed many an interesting and fun play thanks to them. So thank you Pledged Prelude @pledgedprelude, Crystathereum @crystathereum, Fate Cipher, Crowned Reveries and Crested Fantasia @crestedfantasia, it’s been a pleasure being part of you!

And lastly, I also want to thank my lovely girlfriend @pandoragu. We may have never actually played together on this account, with her Melly usually dealingwith my Kamiizumi, but she has helped shape this muse immensely in the two and a half years we’ve been a couple. Several ideas and headcanons have been bounced off her and adapted, leading to my Sceada’s backstory becoming more and more fleshed out, turning him into who he is today. Even if he himself does not yet know wholly who he is... So yeah, thank you my dear, for all your help with my little fool. I love you.

And that’s it! Thank you everyone for 3 great years! May many more plots and shenanigans  and threads come to life through our words! May we always find someone willing to listen to us and support us.

Thank You.

Patrick~

#TreasuredMemories #I love all of you #Thank you for making these 3 years so great #If all went well and as planed #then this post went out 2:24 my time #the exact same time the first post went out three years ago #yaaaaay