#I say nervous breakdown but sometimes ‘’autistic meltdown’’ is more like it

[rhaenyras]

I have been diagnosed with bpd for a few years now but im scared it might actually be a misdiagnosis for autism. I have been reading how a lot of high functioning, high masking autistic women get misdiagnosed with bpd instead because it looks too similar. I’m very dependant on my noise canceling headphone, cant leave the house without them, i get really nervous and overstimulated in spaces like public transport or malls, and sometimes i feel these breakdowns/meltdowns coming and i need to isolate myself from the world not to embarrass myself, if they happen in public i usually end up snapping and saying mean things to people i love or crying in public etc just because im overstimulated. Usually happens after a long day of being out in public, in crowded spaces, after lots of interaction etc. I’ve never been good with people or making friends and I get really upset when plans change last minute. But then again I dont think i have any special interests, im not a picky eater, i love traveling by myself and trying new things. Im not sure how to bring this up to my therapist or address it because i dont fit the stereotypical picture they’ve created with shows like Big bang theory :/

there's so much ignorance and stereotyping surrounding autism. all the more so when it comes to adult women and afab identities. i ofc am not fit to give you a diagnosis of any kind, but i can speak from my own experience, and i can tell you that i also have bpd (shifting erratic sense of self, impulsive possibly destructive behavior when triggered, black-or-white vision especially when the mental health is not great, splitting when needs or expectations are not met etc.) but, from independently looking a bit into autism (thanks to informed activists online), I've been able to relate to a few traits. i even talked to my sister about it (the person who knows me best on this entire earth) and she was like. "hm. makes sense. not surprised". 😭😭😭 so i always say i have "a few autistic traits" (namely the seeking of comfort and repetitive rituals, loath to change, prone to sensory overload when overstimulated, hyperfixation on interests, chronic boredom unless my mind is entertained, need to recharge after a social event, etc.), but i myself dont feel confident enough to say i am autistic because i am still highly functional and can make myself do even the things i hate the most and sit through the most hideous unpredictable overwhelming loudest event and pretend im enjoying it, even, when actually my brain is fighting the fight of its life. plus, I'll never be able to get a proper diagnosis anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ but you must, by all means. drop that imposter's syndrome and talk to your therapist about it. or if you feel like you need to gather more data before you make up your mind, then seek out activists and autistic public personalities online. or share your misgivings with someone you trust and who knows you well, and ask for a second opinion. oh and PLEASE for the love of god ....... stay tf away from harmful ableistic media like the big bang theory. i have a guy muted on ig (a friend of my husband's) who labeled himself "asperger" in his bio specifically because of big bang theory lmao as if that's not the most ignorant ableistic snowflake kind of term to be using for a white cishet guy who just feels "gifted" and "misunderstood".

#ask #anon #anonymous

[minervacampbell]

every day my faculty advisor says nice things to me and every week I have a nervous breakdown in front of him

#I say nervous breakdown but sometimes ‘’autistic meltdown’’ is more like it #thankfully I’m in clinical psychology which means my advisor is a trained therapist and he’s relatively equipped 2 deal with my neuroticism #also he’s probably mentored 100000 anxious and neurotic Gifted Kids