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monkeydluffy19920 · 5 years

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Respond: Is Sanji a pervert?

In reference to/inspired by [x] @cruising-on-pirate-dreams

It’s always been an interesting topic to see how people interpret Sanji’s character, in general. Usually, if he is not liked in fandom, he is seen as a hardcore pervert who thinks nothing more than that and all the arguments are based on his will to peep women and his nose bleedings. Then, there are other thoughts, that consider that his ero- kappa side is partly an exaggerated gag made by Oda-sensei.

Ever since the beginning, it's been fun to ponder the reasons behind the characters’ behavior and Sanji is not an exception. Actually, he was one of the characters I didn’t completely like in the beginning, because back then, during the elementary school, it was hard to understand why would someone fall in love with (almost) every lady they meet. Then slowly his characteristic started to open more to my blind eyes and the more I saw the soft side of Sanji and how much he puts effort on his friends, the more reasonable it was to see why he is so popular among fans. It seems like the hate he gets is mostly because people pay attention to his lust-side and examine it only from one point of view.

There was a very interesting analyze written by @cruising-on-pirate-dreams about Sanji’s personality and tendency to be called pervert. In comparison, the fellow fan used Absalom and there were good points to be lifted up:

Absalom without a shame used his devil fruit skills to lurk on both Nami and Robin and never gave a rat’s eye whether Nami or Robin liked his forceful style to approach them. Both of them were clear objects to him that he licked and touched without permission, he even said openly that he likes Nami more because she is weaker in his eyes and later he kidnapped her and made her unconscious so he could marry her by force.

Sanji has a tendency to put himself into the submissive position, especially when it comes down to interacting with women. Yes, of course, he has this “I need lady~!”-kind of side but it’s remarkable how the more familiar/closer the woman is, the more submissive he actually is, in other words, he never puts himself above the ladies, especially when it comes down to interacting with Nami and Robin.

Before the Whole Cake Island arc was published, I’ve written in Reasons to love Mugiwaras - Sanji - post that I actually do believe that despite the reputation and what he gives out of himself in public (being tough and ladies man), deep inside he is actually very broken and vulnerable and once more of his past was revealed after the time skip, the more sense all the headcanons and speculations started to become logical.

The flashbacks in the Baratie arc showed that he was on edge of dying after the shipwreck which gave a little pieces of information about him but after the Germa66 and Sanji’s links into it were revealed, it was even more clear that he indeed had a terrible and traumatic childhood and suffered from great amounts neglection and abuse by his biological family until he escaped. The new supplement/update of the background story finally gave a further and more detailed explanation of why Sanji doesn’t see self-worth in himself and always puts others in front of him. He has put himself under the target line for his nakamas many times without caring how his own life and his dreams of finding All Blue would be thrown into waste if the worst-case scenario happened.

Thankfully, there was someone from the family standing by his side and therefore Sanji grew very close to his mother. Unfortunately, she passed away early due to the illness (that actually protected Sanji to become an emotionless killing machine like his brothers) and then he was again left all alone in his personal hell. Sora’s death might’ve left a certain gap in his heart. Perhaps the reason he treats women kindly (especially the ones he really adores) has roots in Sora’s way to support Sanji and maybe inside his core, he decided to continue sharing her mother’s legacy of kindness. He might appear like a tough guy who swears like a sailor but only the fact that he has saved an enemy from starvation tells that Sanji truly has a heart of gold, just like Sora.

It’s highly likely that behind the scenes and below the surface, Sanji could be actually looking for similar acceptance and unconditional love he got from his mother. But why then do all that ero-kappa stuff and womanizing when being around women? Mainly I still believe that it’s a continuous character gag just like Zoro’s poor sense of direction or Nami’s greediness but somehow it feels that there might be logical reasons behind this behavior.

Of course, it’s easy to interpret and only think that he is just a lustful pervert from the fact that his locker is full of girl magazines and that especially during the crew’s reunion after the time skip when it felt like Sanji couldn’t control himself with his nose bleedings.

However, if one takes a look to past 20 years One Piece has existed, it’s remarkable to see how much Sanji actually does pay respect to women, especially towards his crewmates. He doesn’t only give compliments on their appearance (i.e how cute they look) or use polite suffixes (”chan” and “san”) while communicating with them, he also praises openly and sincerely their skills and how strong they are. So, it’s obvious that Sanji definitely sees more than just their bodies.

Then to body swap, what @cruising-on-pirate-dreams wrote as well in another post. It’s easy to be seen that Sanji was happy that Law happened to swap his and Nami’s bodies and yes, he took peeks and adored the body features. However, because of this ero kappa-gag, one perspective is easily being left out of the spotlights (if readers didn’t pay enough attention): He did take good care of Nami’s body and he was aware how his actions can affect on her body and reflected on them many times. He smoked in her body but felt bad for doing that. Now it could be easily argued: “If he cares about Nami, why did he smoke in the first place?” but the answer is simple, he is a chain smoker and besides, Nami herself did give him the permission and the cigarettes in Punk Hazard.

Well, despite Nami’s warnings, he did take her jacket away when she wasn’t looking but he had a good reason (Kinemon’s torso was underwater and he happened to be the best swimmer out of the options) and besides, he apologized, just like he apologized for harming her lungs with his cigarettes. He also kept constantly worrying whether the diving would be too much for Nami’s body under the circumstances.

So, if Sanji really does only see Nami as a sexual object he wouldn't have feel an urge to apologize for things he did when their bodies were swapped. If she’d only matter to him for lustful reasons and for good looks, he could have taken the advantange on her by taking everything away and do more exploring (if he was alone) but he didn’t because obviously, they were busy solving the mess Caesar made but mostly, (putting aside the comedy-reasons) he knows that going further would have been way too disrespectful and would have violated their nakamaship (and would be against the fact that he has protected her purity back in Thriller Bark and tried to avoid to stain her) especially if he later got caught somehow and it would anyway make no sense if he wanted to hurt her in any way intentionally.

So, at least for me especially Punk Hazard was an arc that proved that despite the comedy, Robin and Nami are clearly not objects for Sanji and although he surely has felt some lust towards them, he respects the boundaries treats them well and speaks with much softer tones to them and even uses certain suffixes while addressing them.

Someone asked the reasons behind the suffixes and whether there are any deeper meanings Oda’s response was that he was basically inspired by his older staff members who wanted to be treated as they were younger. Zeff taught Sanji chivalry and perhaps this detail of the story was really based on Oda’s real life.

Back to the previous topic, why is Sanji portrayed as a pervert? Well, mainly for sure to make balance with comics on heavy storylines and because being interest in opposite-sex openly seems to be part of who he is but then thinking below the surface, what if those wild nosebleeds and dreams about peeping women are all actually just a mask of him? Yes, he does have a crush easily on women he meets and flirts with them but what if there is more than that?

Actually, one of the headcanons I’ve had for years is that Sanji has experienced a traumatic loss that has given him the deep fear of losing the others he holds dear (and that’s why he'd be so sacrificial) and Whole Cake Island sort of supported that thought. It can be possible that because he was strongly bullied by his siblings and despised by his own father (being called a weakling and so on), this all has stained his self-confidence below zero for good and it still will take time to see that he is worthy. Hopefully, Luffy’s words back in Baratie and the retrieval team’s efforts and experiencing his lowest point before the tea party opened his eyes for good and gave his character the chance to grow.

Like many fans agree, the only place where Sanji has complete confidence is anywhere that is related on his profession, cooking because Zeff convinced that the “chibi-Nasu” really does have potential in becoming a chef, otherwise, he can be surprisingly insecure although he doesn’t show it up openly, perhaps he hides it with this kind of actions. On top of that, Zeff raised Sanji to respect women so if he really was a pervert and didn’t care about what his foster father taught, then perhaps he would act more like Absalom. However, (again setting the comical aspects aside), I think Sanji himself knows where to cross the line when it really comes down to women. Most likely Zeff wouldn’t approve if Sanji really thought that women are just objects of lust and Sanji probably doesn’t want to disappoint (even unconsciously) someone who saved him from certain death and raised him as his own child.

Only Oda-sensei knows completely his character and knows the answers but Sanji’s behavior makes me wonder that what if actually at some point he has created kind of an “alter ego” to protect himself? What if he built himself a personality full of confidence so no one would see that deep inside, there is a fragile boy and a wounded man? Well, this is all just speculation so it’s hard to say whether there is any truth behind these thoughts or not but shortly said, Sanji is a great character and there are definitely reasonable reasons for his behavior, in general. However, he indeed is stuck in these ero kappa- gag and it’s sometimes a shame indeed that some (potentially shippy) moments are ruined by those weird faces or when he goes too lustful but on the other hand, it might be just Oda’s way to keep the series’ focus on the main points instead of romance

It’s really hard to believe that Sanji would actually be a pervert as in the term is officially described but once again, it’s all about interpretation. However, if one takes a closer look to the comparison between Sanji’s and Absalom’s interest in Nami (and other women) and comparing it to the facts of what perversion is in terms of human behavior, it can be easy to tell that out of these two, Absalom is the true pervert.

#one piece #analyze #sanji #nami #robin #luffy #Red Leg Zeff #absalom #judge vinsmoke #sora vinsmoke #charlotte pudding #chopper #usopp #zoro #vivi #long post #//got carried away sorry xD #and just realized this bounces around and is a bit repetive so sorry for that too :p

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shadow-of-a-whisper · 4 years

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The Sentinel (series) Ficlet, Rated: M

Naomi waited until her son's mug of chamomile tea was half empty by her estimate, and most of the tense lines around his eyes had smoothed out. Then she pounced. "Blair sweetie, what's going on with you? And don't tell me it's nothing. Even Jim has noticed, and we both know how... unobservant he can be sometimes." That was rich, coming from her, but Blair didn't point that out. She was right, Jim had been side-eyeing him with concern for days. The man wasn't as subtle as he liked to think he was. Still, Blair just shook his head. "It's not something anyone can help with. I just need to figure some stuff out by myself. You wouldn't get it." Naomi huffed and drew herself up to her full height. Damn, he should've seen that coming. He really was slipping. "Try me. Even if I can't help, I can still listen. You need to get this off your chest, it's obviously eating you alive." Blair ran his fingers roughly through his wild curls in frustration. "I'm in love with someone, okay? I love him, and he's straight. I'm a fucking idiot, is that what you wanted to hear?" Naomi's jaw dropped, but Blair didn't stop. Now that it had started, it was all pouring out. "You never wanted to be tied down to one person or one place, and I get that. You never met anyone you wanted to stay for, despite it all. Someone who made staying feel like it was a gift, not a sacrifice. Good for you. But that's not what I want for my own life. I want stability, and connection, and happily ever after. I want that more than anything. So it doesn't matter if he doesn't love me the same way I love him, that he can't love me that way. Just being by his side is enough. It has to be." Naomi was already shaking her head, clearly flabbergasted. "What does Jim have to say about all of this? Does he know this guy?" Blair stared at her blank-faced, and waited for the penny to drop. After a few moments of honest bewilderment, her eyes slowly grew to the size of saucers. "Oh!" "Yeah Mom, 'Oh'. That pretty much sums it up. I haven't even dated any guys since before I met him." He didn't tell her that he'd figured Jim might be able to smell them on him or something. Turns out, he would've been right about that. "At first I just didn't know how he'd take it. By the time I realised that he'd be fine with me being bi, it felt like it was too late to bring it up. It's not like that would've made any difference. He's never looked at me like that. I don't think the idea has ever even crossed his mind." On the other side of the loft's front door, groceries in one hand and some mail in the other, Jim remembered the occasional whispers he'd overheard at the station. Uniforms gossiping about Blair, speculating about whether or not he was gay. Using words far less kind than that. Jim had glared them down when he could. He didn't care what Blair might or might not be, that was his own business, but those bigots didn't get to talk about his partner like that. Naomi's voice was achingly soft when she spoke again. "Baby, why would you do this to yourself? It just isn't healthy." Blair's smile didn't reach his watery eyes. "He's worth it. He's worth everything, every bit of pain and sacrifice, and so much more. He's strong, kind, beautiful. I'm not blind, I know he's an imperfect asshole, but that works out because I'm one too. We all make mistakes. He's suffered so much pain and loss, and he still lights up the world just by being in it. Sometimes I look at him, and I just want to tell him, show him how I see him, because I know he struggles to see that in himself. I want to make love to him, because he deserves to be loved. I don't know how anybody can fail to love him. I want to give him reasons to smile, to keep glowing like he does. I want to light him up every day for the rest of our lives. I can't walk away from that Naomi, I just can't. I'm strong enough to live with this pain, I'm not strong enough to live without him." Naomi set her jaw in a hard line, as outside the door Jim slid boneless down the wall, parcels forgotten. God, he'd been so blind. Blair's distress, something he'd been catching flashes of here and there for the last several weeks, was so visceral right now that he could feel it buffeting him all the way from the hall. A hummingbird heartbeat, accompanied by the rasps of harsh and shallow breaths, fulled his ears. The hint of salt from the beginnings of a cold sweat, along with the indefinable scents of misery and slight panic, flooded his nose. The cacophony of sensations washed over him with all the force of a crashing wave. Blair's emotions had always been a bit... louder, for lack of a better word, than other people's. To him, at least. But they'd never been anything quite like this. Distantly, his ears ringing a little, he heard Naomi start talking again. "Blair, you deserve that kind of love too. If you walk away now, you can always hold onto your golden memories of Jim, and pretend that he might have loved you back someday. If you stay and wait until he finds out, until he throws you out of the loft again, it'll break your heart. I honestly don't know if you would ever recover from that. Please baby, let me help you pack your things." The door slammed open, bouncing off the wall with a reverberating thud, as Jim stalked over to where they were sitting. Without saying a word, face expressionless, Jim pulled Naomi up over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. Before she could do more than let out a startled bleat, he'd dumped her on the threshold with the abandoned groceries and slammed the door in her face. Nobody was packing a goddamn thing. He slid the recently installed deadbolt home, just in case. He went back to the sofa where Blair had just made it to his feet, his face pale and drawn. Jim wanted to die for ever putting that look on his Guide's face. Naomi didn't have a Goddamn clue what she was talking about. Of course Jim was in love with Blair too, *of course* he was. Oh. Ooooooooooooooh. Huh. Well, that was a surprise. In hindsight, it really shouldn't be. Some Cop Of The Year he was. Actually, it probably explained a lot. It definitely explained the way his heart was pounding, his veins filled with adrenaline at the thought of Blair slipping through his fingers. Blair let out a small, uncertain "Jim...", eyes lowered in mortification. That wouldn't do at all. Jim lifted a gentle hand to Blair's jaw, his midday shadow barely perceptible even to his sensitive touch, and encouraged Blair's face to turn to him. He was shit with words, but he tried to let everything he was feeling shine from his eyes. Whatever he saw there, Blair slowly went slack and open with wonder. Jim's breath left him in a quiet rush, as he let go and followed his instincts the way he only ever did with Blair there to Guide him. His eyes fluttered nearly shut as he leaned close, brushing his nose to Blair's cheek as he breathed him in. His senses were flooded with Blair's unique scent, mingled with the faint hints of 'unscented' shampoo and soap, the mild herbal scent of chamomile tea and the honey Blair had sweetened it with. The combination was heady and soothing all at once, the headache Jim had been sporting for half the day fading almost instantly to a barely-there throb. That was nothing compared to the tightness he felt in his chest as his lips gave chase, Blair's rising timidly to meet them. He kept it soft and chaste to start with, a little hesitant himself, uncertain how he'd feel about this new thing he was trying. He needn't have worried. The taste of Blair, added to his enticing scent, and the somehow unexpected scratch of the hint of stubble, punched the remaining breath from him in a shocked groan. He pressed his mouth hard to Blair's as heat shot to his groin. Blair whimpered, his lips falling open in response without thought or hesitation, his body pressing as close as it could get from the knees up. As if that had broken the spell somehow, Blair jerked back. "Jim, man, you have to be sure. I can't do this if you're not totally sure." Jim rested his forehead against Blair's, not ready to lose that precious closeness yet. "I want this, Chief. I have no idea what I'm doing here, but I know that I want to be doing it with you." Blair trembled with temptation, but he had to be strong. He couldn't afford to be careless with this. "And when you wake up tomorrow, with me in your bed, both of us naked? When it hits you, what you've done, and what it could mean for you? What then, Jim? I need you to really think about this. Think about who we work with, about your family. If we do this, I'm not gonna be able to hide it anymore, I wouldn't want to either. You know what that'll mean? Forget discrimination and unreliable back-up, we'd be breaking fraternization rules. Simon would have no choice but to separate us. We can't ask him to risk his career and IA's wrath for us. How long do you think you'll last before you zone or spike at the wrong moment, and people get killed? Even if you somehow survived that, you'd never forgive yourself." It was true, every word of it, and it was a hell of a lot. It was obvious that Blair had been thinking about it for a long time, Jim had some serious catching up to do. But he knew one thing clearly. "We'll figure it out like we always do, together. If we can't stay on the force, then we'll both go. I know that you mostly only joined for my sake. Yeah, you enjoy the work, but you still hate the violence of it. You're never gonna be happy about pointing a gun at someone, even for me." Jim wasn't wrong about that, but it wasn't the whole story either. "Jim, I could've worked things out at Rainier if I'd really wanted to. Edwards didn't have a leg to stand on when she ran me off like that, and my friends there all knew it. Academia had been losing its shine for me for a long time by then, the politics of it all. It just wasn't fulfilling anymore, not the way working with you is. What you said to me at the hospital about being a good cop, and offering me that badge, it meant the world to me. That you trust me to watch your back as your permanent partner, just blows me away." Jim acknowledged those words with another soft kiss before responding. "I do trust you Chief. That's why I don't want you at my back for the rest of our lives." He held on tight when Blair tried to pull away. "I want you at my side instead, where you belong. Between my skills and your smarts, we've got options. We'll find one that works for both of us, where we can be the team we're supposed to be, and still help people. One that doesn't have us both dodging bullets every other day. It's not like I'm gonna be young enough to pull that off forever." Blair's knees went weak, Jim's firm grip on his lower back and the base of his skull the only thing keeping him standing. "You'd do that for me?" Jim shook his head once, slowly. "I'd do that for *us*. Just like you would, like you did with that press conference of yours. You're not the only one who can pull off a grand gesture, Chief. Maybe Eli can find a spot for you on his next expedition, and I can finally take a turn following you around for a bit. I could be their security detail." Blair searched his face, but found only honest sincerity there. His love for the man in front of him, always a warm flame in the hearth of his soul, blazed through him in a rush of desire. His mouth crashed hungrily against Jim's without conscious thought, almost reflexively. Jim's body welcomed him back, pulling them tightly together again, legs tangling with each other. Somehow, that still wasn't close enough. When he pulled back, this time he pulled Jim with him. Jim followed him without question, like he always did, not caring where they were going. As long as it had a flat surface, even if that was just a bare bit of floor, then it would do.

#The Sentinel #Jim Ellison #Blair Sandburg #Naomi Sandburg #Fanfiction #Ficlet #The Sentinel fanfiction

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droughtofapathy · 7 years

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Great Come Experience Part One

My Experience at Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812:

Disclaimer: I’ve sat in banquette seating four times. I’ve been able to see most of the theater, but I’m going to be a little heavy on the Marya D. and Hélène stuff because I’m super gay, and like… Grace McLean and Amber Gray, amirite?

Pre-Prologue:

· So it started with this jaunty music, and the whole cast comes out with the pierogi baskets, and you get dumplings if you wave your arms enough. Also each cast member has a section and converses with the audience for like almost five minutes. It’s great, because you can just talk to the people, and I was in Pearl Rhein’s section twice (fell in love both times, holy shit her eyebrows and wow is she tall). She said she loved my shoes and hair and I felt my soul ascend.

· Oh forgot to mention that while you wait for it to start there’s this upbeat Russian music going on, and it’s great.

· Also during the introductory no cell phones thing, this guy announces it in a heavy Russian accent, and after each thing, the cast goes “нет” and the ones like Pearl Rhein, and Sumayya Ali point to people with their bow strings and you don’t even think of disobeying because if not you’ll be given to KGB and sent off to Siberia.

Prologue:

· It starts once the air siren goes off

· Natasha cries out “No!” when Andrey leaves for war, and there’s this whole necklace exchange, that’ll be significant later.

· And Pierre is just up on the top level in front of the doors.

· He begins to sing, and usually before that there’s raucous applause.

· Pierre sings his verse, and then the whole cast joins in, and it’s a magical moment.

· Then the lights go up, and everyone has shot glasses.

· So each time someone is introduced via their lines, they get a spotlight and take a shot.

· So, during Sonya’s she and Natasha cross arms and take a shot that way, and it’s so cute.

· Whenever Marya takes a shot, she makes a face like “yes, that’s the stuff” and it’s such a beautiful facial expression. Also her hair is what I live for. The updo is so precise, and perfect. I want to do that. Also she’s got these streaks of lighter/greying hairs which I always go crazy for.

· During this, the actor who plays Andrey, is off changing into his Bolkonsky costume (for me it was Nicholas Belton twice, and Blaine Alden Krauss twice when Nick left for personal days three shows before it closed).

· He comes back on in that costume, with his instrument. And it’s really quite funny.

Pierre:

· Immediately they meld into Pierre just after Prologue, and it’s great.

· During this, they’ve all got their shot glasses still.

· When the line “il est charmant, il ne pas de sexe. He is charming he has no sex” the women all twirl around him. And Hélène is front and center spotlighted on the middle “balcony” and she’s just got so much attitude

· Also Marya’s expressions are amazing and I will continue to mention them. Even when she’s just sitting in the background, she’s got such a presence.

· When the line “how many men before good Russian men…” comes up, and Pierre speculates about who leaves tootless and bald, Anatole gets a spotlight and he just scoffs and saunters around stage as if to say “yeah right, not me bitch”

· During that last note, where everyone is going ‘ahhhhh’ it’s so much more intense than the cast recording and they hold it forever honestly. Everyone is gathered on the two “banister” levels of the main stage, and they’re all just intently staring at Pierre, and some are practically hanging over the railings. Hélène is especially like “ugh, this guy”.

Moscow:

· After a pause for applause, we go into Moscow. The ensemble mostly exits, or at least gets somewhere on the outskirts of the stage.

· Marya hands off her shotglass to someone. And as the music starts, she is wandering around inspecting things with a critical eye.

· When Natasha sings her name, she looks just so excited and thrilled. But reins it in to sing her name back.

· When Sonya does her thing, she like starts the “sofia” part like she’s almost forgotten her name. And it’s clear Marya does not like Sonya. There’s a whole backstory on why from the books so go read them.

· When she does the “Welcome, welcome to Moscow” she just goes for it, and both Natasha and Sonya visibly jump. The whole audience does honestly.

· She points to various audience members during “faded and fading princesses” “gossips and crybabies”. And it’s great.

· When she does her whole “bring in their things” the ensemble rushes around to grab the extra props and stuff, and they’re so terrified of and respect Marya.

· She goes off down the middle orchestra stage, and Natasha and Sonya do their impression of Marya’s growling voice. It’s so cute.

· When Natasha says “but I can’t bear this waiting” Sonya looks so sad and exasperated. She follows Marya’s path and they meet up in the rear of the theater. They reaapproach Natasha and Marya is leading Sonya by her shoulders, and she’s like over half a head taller than Sonya (Grace McLean is sorta tall, but she’s in heels to further emphasize her stature. And I want those shoes they’re fabulous).

· Oh both Sonya and Natasha are mostly in flats so we see them as delicate and innocent I suppose. It helps with the height comparison.

· When Marya and Sonya get to the top of the stairs that leads to the main stage, Marya sort of pushes Sonya away, and she braces herself against the banister while Marya goes to dote on Natasha.

· They drink tea (laced with rum).

· Oh and something you don’t notice are the Bolkonsky’s. During all of this, Bolkonsky is fiddling with a knife, and visibly trembling (probably some sort of dementia) and Mary is nervously watching, and trying to help but he keeps shaking her off so she reads her bible.

· She also crosses over when Marya mentions her in the song.

The Private and Intimate Life of a House:

· We start with Bolkonsky’s part of the song. He takes a really long pause before “people enjoy me” to stare to his left at the audience and waves creepily/awkwardly. It always gets a laugh.

· When he sings powdered wig, he pats his and a puff of powder erupts from it.

· During “such a majestic and agreeable spectacle” Mary stands from the stair she is on leading up to the mezzanine.

· Then she launches into her haunting part about there being 22 more hours in the day.

· When he starts ordering her around, she looks just so frightened, and does this trembling bow, and Gelsey Bell is an actual goddess.

· When she does her whole “and I have no friends no never go anywhere” she runs across and around the stage wringing and waving her hands tragically. Mary needs a hug. Someone please hug this poor woman.

· The whole “I can hurt you” is said by Mary with such fierceness that she quickly turns to reassurance to the audience that she never ever ever would. And she loves her father so much, but he’s such an abusive asshole. Like fucks sake I’m angry about this.

· So the difference between Nicholas and Blaine seems so much more intense when he sings certain parts like “worthless and dumb”. He really does the shouty, angry old man act well.

· So Mary makes an audience member stand and she pretends he’s her suitor. Then Bolkonsky turns to another audience member and kisses and nuzzles her and it’s hilarious for everyone involved.

· Then the servent (Paul Pinto) who walked hunched almost completely over, brings that table shot glasses.

· The whole “where are my glasses” bit is so so much more frightening live. The first time I heard it (and didn’t know the show at all) I was actually terrified for Mary. And she looks just so horrified, and upset by the entire thing.

· Also during this, the music is haunting, and Marya D. stands from where she’s been sitting and observing (with such a haughty and regal expression) to ominously play the cowbell. It’s such an interesting addition that I didn’t notice the first time.

Natasha & Bolkonsky’s:

· So the servant announces Natasha’s presence, and Mary is just so awkward the entire time.

· They do the chair thing in complete silence. Mary goes over to get her chair (that Hélène has been lounging on this entire time and Hélène moves to drape herself on the staircase. That’s another thing. Hélène even when off focus, just languidly and sensually drapes herself onto surfaces).

· They do their chair thing in the middle of the main table section of the audience. And it’s so tense.

· They both stand when singing their “I don’t like her” verse. Then two ensemble members bring them tea (one is Lulu Fall, and I think the other may have been Shoba Narayan. Pretty sure in fact.

· Then they move to another spot and fake laugh at each other.

· Then Bolkonsky comes out in his underthings and scares the shit out of Natasha.

· Then Natasha tearfully tries to leave and Mary realizes that they fucked up and tries to put it right, but Natasha intensely yells at Mary who jumps back and holds out her hands in defense, so you know this girl has been seriously verbally abused at the very least.

No One Else:

· The lighting changes to this beautiful blue (made even more beautiful by the fact that Dave Malloy is supposedly color blind and can see blue well, but not red so you just sob thinking about that)

· And Natasha looks so much like a princess in this moment. Everything is wonderful and heartbreaking.

· Andrey comes onstage and has a bundle of her letters. It snows over him, and Natasha reaches for him but they don’t touch, and he leaves again. She just looks so longing.

· When I first saw it the last lines about him maybe being in the drawing room and her just forgetting he was there was so emotional and heartbreaking, I just teared up.

The Opera:

· Cue dramatic music change. Marya does her whole “the opera the opera” part and she seems so excited to be sharing this with Natasha and even Sonya. Also the growl though!

· The Servent (Paul Pinto again) is in this emcee costume type thing and it’s so sparkly and extra with a top hat and everything.

· When everyone else comes out you are just so amazed by the costumes. Like wow. In an interview, the designer Paloma Young talked about how they’re meant to look opulent and splendid from a distance, but up close you see they’re cheaply made to represent the false splendor of 19th century Russia and I am so angry they didn’t win best costume design.

· So all of the women have their own unique costume and color scheme. Even the swings get their own unique outfit. It’s fantastic and fits each person so well. So like Lulu Fall is in red, obviously. And Shoba has this orange and looks so beautiful. And Cathryn Wake has a bright blue number, and don’t even get me started on Celia Mei Rubin’s costume. I love her so much and am so happy I got to see her swing on twice.

· Even the two opera dancers have like fancy clothing which they quickly exit to change into their actual opera outfits.

· Both Natasha and Sonya are so enchanted. And Marya gives Natasha that flower for her hair. And she adjusts Sonya’s headfeather thing.

· She’s also so judgmental about Anna Mikhaylovna’s headdress.

· Then Hélène sees Natasha and is instantly drawn in. (Side note: every woman in this show is so gay for Natasha except for Marya D. who is too busy being gay for Hélène sorry I don’t make the rules it’s a thing).

· When the servant does his announcement of the people, Dolokhov saunters around stage, and kisses a woman’s hand and then makes her kiss his. It’s great.

· And Hélène just flounces around twirling and displaying her body and outfit. She’s got two main dresses, and this one is like her main one sorta. So it’s black, with green underskirts, and fringes and it’s so pretty I want one now.

· Side note: Marya actually is wearing something not entirely red. Like it’s got red accents, but is mostly dark with gold patterns that sorta look tinged greenish. Nod to her romantic entanglements to Hélène? Coincidence? I think not!

· And Natasha is so taken with Hélène, it’s so gay!

· When Hélène starts talking to Natasha, Marya and Sonya are over to the side, and when Marya sees what’s going on, she quickly (nearly runs) over to intervene. She places herself between Natasha and Hélène, and looks so huffy when Natasha keeps interrupting. And her whole “woman you should stay far away from” is said without taking her eyes off of Hélène. Like, girl, you make out with her next act. I see your thirst don’t deny it.

· Then the actual opera starts and holy shit is it weird to see live. The two dancers prance about. And both Gelsey Bell and Paul Pinto are the opera singers. Their voices (Gelsey’s especially) are just so haunting, and the noises Gelsey makes are fucking weird, but wow are you just so impressed by it.

· Also, during on point the opera dancer (Mary Page Nance though the first time I saw it Celia Mei Rubin was swinging for Ani Taj) jerks her arms towards herself and pants comedically. It’s really quite funny.

· Holy shit I’ve got a lot to say just noticed. And we’re not done yet.

· Okay, so the opera pauses and we interlude onto Sonya and Natasha who look so bored and confused. And Natasha gets up and waltzes about the stage while Sonya narrates.

· So Anatole makes his entrance and the big doors open and this blinding light surrounds him. The entire cast turns to marvel at this wonder, and audience included they all shield their eyes. Yes it’s that bright. Anatole does this weird head thing to the beat of the music like he’s reveling in the attention.

· He walks down the stairs and starts kissing and nuzzling an audience member then pats the closest male member to her as if to say “good on you mate”

· He goes right to Hélène and taps his cheek for her to kiss him but moves his head to she kisses him on the lips instead. That’s her delighted laugh you can hear on the soundtrack. In the book the relationship is heavily implied to be incestuous. Suck on that George RR Martin. Tolstoy’s already done siblings being weirdly attracted to each other.

· The opera resumes and most of the ensemble has joined in on the show. There’s people on the stairs to the mezzanine wearing these creepy hooded costumes with long fingers. And others dresses as soldiers. And the Andrey actor comes out bloodied while the two dancers tear off his coat and pull long flowy sheets from him to resemble blood. He holds out a crumpled red ribbon towards Natasha who shrinks away terrified.

· During this stuff Dolokhov, Hélène, and Anatole are on the middle level banister part and applaud in slow motion. Marya is seated on the top level and does so as well. She just really loves the opera.

Natasha & Anatole:

· Okay so during this, it’s the two of them in the box together.

· So I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. But, when Natasha sings the part about there being “nothing formidable…not a barrier of modesty I’ve always felt with men” for some reason this makes her attraction to him so much more believable. Because see, she’s a young woman in 19th century Russia where men and women don’t converse this casually. So for her, this is probably the first time a man outside her family has spoken to her like a real person instead of just some woman they must be cordial to. And I hate their relationship so much, but it’s so understandable that this impressionable young woman be taken with someone who actually treats her like someone worth talking to. Like, Andrey has this distant smile and is probably really formal with her, but here this dude is being all approachable and shit.

· Like jesus Christ stop hating on Natasha. You fan girls will jump through hoops to defend Anatole; og fuckboi of the century just because he’s pretty, even though he’s literally at fault so much more in this situation. Like c’mon he’s a grown ass man. Fucks sake…

· So a few more things. He grabs her flower at one point.

· Also, the last line about there being nothing between them has a double meaning. So yes, there’s nothing between them in terms of like space, or something in the way of their mutual attraction, but like also they just met. This relationship is not build on anything substantial so there is like literally nothing really between them.

The Duel:

· Okay so visually I love this song so much. It’s such a fantastic thing, but I kept listening to the soundtrack and that’s what really got me.

· Before it starts Anatole is just upstage and mimes a head explosion motion. It’s great. Like, I hate this character, but Lucas Steele is just such a good actor for the part.

· Okay so Anatole comes back to the Bezukhov household all like ‘c’mon we going to drink tonight’ and Dolokhov comes in with a tray and spins it while pouring what I’ll assume is vodka, but who knows.

· The music gets intense and the seizure lights start. A rave scene in 19th century Russia. Sign me the fuck up. The first time I had to shut my eyes, but the next three times I actually kept them open to watch everything, and it honestly wasn’t bad at all.

· Side note: I love the whole drink with me my love part. It is just a great line.

· So just a few things I’ve seen. One of the ensemble members (I think it’s Josh Canfield) is wearing a leather crotch harness, and green speedo. (Side note: I’m probably going to mess up on who each male ensemble member is because I’m way better versed in the women. I think it’s a side effect of being a huge lesbian…) Mary is wearing these huge aviator/mad scientist goggles (and yes I’m choosing to believe Mary has finally gotten out of the house let me have this). During the chaos so much is happening. So Marya D. is dressed up in this latex catsuit, and a riding crop complete with like a mesh covered boob window thing because Marya is always in something highnecked even as a secret deviant in a druggy club. (So different cast sources claim Grace McLean is actually playing someone called Catya, but costume designer says that “secret deviant… Marya is part of the aesthetic so I choose to believe it really is Marya but she’s disguised with these huge sunglasses. Also she spanks multiple people with that riding crop so like… wow if I didn’t know I was gay before…

· To continue, during this Balaga is going down on Sonya (though technically it’s the actor Paul Pinto who plays a lot of roles, so it could be anyone at this point), someone does a line of “cocaine” (it’s sugar), Josh Canfield just slides across one part of the stage and almost into the table section. And everything is so sexual, and it’s the best. Like Grace McLean goes from humping Josh Canfield, to drinking with Dolokhov. During the climax (ha!) of the scene there’s that whole bit about “the health of married women and their lovers” and I just love this line so much. Hélène is so mocking of Pierre. Some ensemble members mime throwing up into the audience from drinking too much, and Mary is just hugging a banister pole and slumped on the ground. Girl doesn’t get out much.

· Just before the big duel, Marya pulls Anatole aside to give him an impromptu blowjob. Like they exchange the riding crop and hit each other with it, and she gets down on her knees while he unzips his pants but then everything stops and Pierre is like “bitch, don’t touch my wife” to Dolokhov, and everyone immediately turns their attention to that (Grace, Brittain Ashford (Sonya), and a few others slip out to presumably change costume. The ensemble take seats to see the fun, and I was sat right next to Blaine and Heath Saunders while they talked about the duel (everyone is always talking when off-mic too) and he nudged me when the announcer was like “as the adversary’s…” and Blaine said to me “no they have not” and I was just like “not at all” back to him. Wow.

· There’s that whole duel thing, and beforehand, Hélène is like “he will kill you” to Pierre and her voice just breaks. This part of the play is when you can really see just how much more complex their relationship is. Because Hélène’s actions show that on some level she really does care for Pierre’s wellbeing because when Dolokhov is shot she just gasps and you can’t even really hear it, but when Dolokhov shoots, she just gives out this bloodcurdling scream of horror and distress. And for the rest of the scene she’s just in shock, and exits by slowly walking up the stairs. I saw her expression up close, and she was just in shock, and devastated, and it was a turmoil of emotions.

· TL;DR Hélène is not the monster people love to make her out to be. And I love her and will defend her with my life. Fight me.

· While Anatole leaves he mimes finger guns at Pierre, who is so not in the mood.

Dust and Ashes:

· Transition to the big song. Okay, so I love this song so much. For one it’s a beautiful song full of emotion and some great lines (I love “bury me in burgundy”) but also because I have a lower voice (with terrible range I might add) so I can sorta sing along to this one without sounding horrible.

· So, for a bit it’s just Pierre silently in his office area. Then he starts hesitantly playing the chords on the piano. And while I’d agree that Josh Groben’s voice is more pleasing to hear, Dave Malloy sings it with such emotion, and I’d agree his voice is suited to play Pierre’s character better. But both men are fantastic and I loved them both.

· At one point he holds out a book and shakes it at the audience in desperation. It’s so beautiful and during the climax, the entire company is both standing side by side in the mezzanine, and down the two aisles in the orchestra. They sing the “ahhhs” and it’s the most beautiful and haunting thing. Like, if I could just have a picture even of that moment, I’d die happy. You’re so focused on Pierre that you might miss this, but it’s the most beautiful thing ever.

· The song ends with this blue light on Pierre (think back to the color blind thing and you’ll feel things).

Sunday Morning:

· Sonya and Natasha enter. It’s the next morning just after the duel so everything that just happened from Private and Intimate… to now was in like a twenty-four hour period. Maybe even Moscow, but I’m choosing to believe there was some time before Natasha went to visit the Bolkonsky’s.

· They do the candle in the mirror thing, and holy shit. So when Natasha is looking in the mirror, and she sees the man, Pierre returns to his office area, and crosses right behind Natasha so she can see him in the mirror and that is such a brilliant stage direction and I am so shook.

· Her future is Pierre! It’s right there!

· The scene changes so rapidly from Natasha’s distress at seeing someone lying down in the mirror to Marya’s “SUNDAY MORNING TIME FOR CHURCH” and thank you growl voice.

· Then after the brief church bit, Marya goes off to scold Bolkonsky for his behavior and I wish I could have seen Marya tear him a new one because it’s so funny in the books. Grace exits the big doors with such a flourish. She just like turns sidways, holds out her skirts and like floats out the door.

Charming:

· So for this scene Natasha is mostly in her corset and underthings and Hélène just waltzes in. This song is so gay, and Dave Malloy has said it was meant to be, so fuck yeah gay.

· Hélène has on her second dress. This one’s main color is green, with black underskirts. And the coat she has on is so extra. I want one.

· Hélène is so sensual and flounces around, twirling her skirts during this entire song. Amber Gray fuck me up. Her voice is so jazzy, and she’s got the growl down too. Jesus Christ I’m so gay. She just takes over the whole theater, and there is no one else.

· During this, Lulu and Shoba are maids in the household and have a beautiful dress for Natasha to try on. They hold it open and she just ducks into it. I need to be able to dress this easily.

· So, a few things about my favorite parts. “Now a woman with a dress is a frightening and powerful thing” is probably one of my favorite lines. Like fuck yeah woman power. Also, the fact that she effortlessly pronounces “Alliez dans le monde. Plutôt que de dépérir d’ennui!” which according to my French education means something like go into the word rather than perish of boredom, but she completely botches the entire title of the song. Charmante is not pronounced Charmanté. Even if it does sound so much better.

· So Natasha has on her dress, and Hélène just casually rips the necklace Andrey gave her off, and tosses it aside (Pierre catches it, symbolism anyone?) and replaces it with her own necklace. Then they go off to the ball together.

· Also the coat is passed to Natasha at one point and she just loves that coat as much as I do.

The Ball:

· Lemme tell you about the ball. This musical is so disregarding of gender norms like I love it. Like an ensemble member Katrina Yaukey has full armpit hair dyed hot pink it’s awesome. But, right ball. So everyone is in costume. The women all have different tops to their dresses, but the skirts are mostly the same. The inner skirt on most (dunno if its all) comes to mid thigh, and the outerskirts open up and are long and swishy. They’ve all got little lace coverings over their eyes, and mostly different headdresses. So, from what I saw there are a few cat ears, some antlers (Pearl Rhein has such cool antlers). A few are unique and I think the main characters have those. So Mary has this cute weird thing that I’m not sure what it is, but I like it. And Marya has this golden crownlike thing that also looks like it could be wings or something dunno. But it’s unique, and her dress is backless and wow. (Gay much?)

· So, there are no gender norms here. Here there are men dancing with men (They’ve all got mostly the same outfit. A green fancy war uniformlike jacket and bear mask (I think but I’m not sure might have just been the lighting, that Andrey’s is silver while everyone else has gold.) and women dancing with women. And different gender couples too, but sometimes the women are leading, and it’s so fucking amazing and normalized. The first time I saw that I may have teared up just thinking about how casually it’s shown. And in a play about 19th century Russia no less.

· Okay, so it has to be said, but Mary is wearing something so beautiful, and she looks like she’s having the time of her life dancing with Katrina. And I choose to believe it’s actually Mary (not some other role) who is finally getting the adoration and attention she deserves. Katrina spins her around, and dotes on her, and it’s just beautiful. Like she literally lifts her up at one point and spins her. During this scene, not all the women and men lift their partners but Katrina does, and Mary looks so damn happy.

· And Marya is dancing with either a female ensemble member who is Courtney Bassett I think. The veil hides her face, and they were farther away. But wow. Is Marya a good leader. She just sensually circles her partner, and like trails her lips over her shoulders and chest, and wow.

· Also it is a costume tournament and Hélène’s got on these dark angel wings like someone put her in the victoria’s secret show right now.

· But back to the actual plot. So, Natasha and Anatole are dancing and whatever. It’s all very sweet and whatnot, but back to the ensemble.

· So at the climax of the song, the dance couples life each other’s veils and masks and all grab wine glasses with different water levels to change frequency. They dip their fingers in the water, and literally trace the rim of the glass to use them as instruments like what the fuck why did this not win best score and orchestra?!??!?!?! It’s the haunting and soothing sound (yeah I know I’ve used these adjectives a lot, but it’s true). This goes on, and they all stop at the same time except for Hélène who keeps going with a spotlight on her for a bit longer before cutting off with a flourish.

· Oh and another thing, Sonya is not at the ball. Everyone else is in costume, but Sonya is still wearing her white dress, but she comes out to do the wine glass thing.

Natasha and Anatole pledge their love for each other, and scene. 6�1��

#natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812 #great comet #natasha rostova #sonya rostova #marya dmitrievna #marya dmitryevna akhrosimova #helene kuragina #anatole kuragin #fedya dolokhov #mary bolkonskaya #andrey bolkonsky #prince bolkonsky #balaga #dave malloy #i love this show more than anything #more than life more than jewels

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