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#I need to get back to my beans
neverevan · 3 months
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Fuck It Friday 🧇
Aaaalrighty. I am actively trying to get back to working on my wips but ngl until we know where the show will take the characters, I probably won't be working on anything non-established relationshipy.
This also means that I might have to scrap some (or most) of my wips by the time the season ends, starting with the jealous eddie fic. So I thought I might as well share some stuff from it before that'd happen.
He hooked the chart back to the end of the bed and walked over to the bedside table. “Thirsty?”
“I- yeah, thanks.”
Jason filled up a glass and passed it to Buck, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“Not to sound like I’m glad you’ve been crushed by a collapsing floor — because believe me, I’m not.” He leveled Buck with a look that reminded him of Maddie before he continued. “But I am glad I finally got to see you. I was beginning to think that you’ve been ignoring my texts on purpose.”
Buck held his glass over his stomach and stared at it for a moment.
“I uh I kinda was.” He admitted quietly.
“Oh?” Jason asked in surprise and even though he didn’t seem upset, Buck still couldn’t help but flinch. “Did I- did I do something wrong?” He frowned, almost as if he was asking himself instead of Buck.
“N-no, no, not at all it’s just… did I? Do something wrong, I mean.”
“Buck…”
“Y-you uh you bolted pretty quickly after our date so I thought—”
Jason put a hand onto Buck’s thigh, just above his knee, and he snapped his mouth shut.
“It’s… nothing,” he shook his head, “I think it just seemed like you had your hands full with work and family and I didn’t want to make it worse. You know, before we could see where things were going with us.”
Maybe Eddie was right and he didn’t mess this up that badly, maybe it really was salvageable.
“Yeah?” He tipped his head up hopefully.
“Yeah.” Jason shifted his hand onto the top of Buck’s, bringing immediate warmth to his skin and he couldn’t help but lace their fingers together on top of the bedsheet.
He also couldn’t help but to instantly think about Eddie holding his hand through two layers of gloves while they both thought Buck was about to die. The way he desperately wished to feel Eddie’s touch one more time as he caressed Buck’s cheek and made him talk through bloodloss.
“So, are we on for another date?” Jason’s quiet voice teleported Buck right back to reality where Buck wasn’t dying and Eddie was no longer holding Buck’s hand.
“Yeah, s-sure I’d love that.”
✨I was tagged by and am tagging the wonderful @sunshinediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns @excuseme-greentea @exhuastedpigeon @nmcggg @disasterbuckdiaz @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @honestlydarkprincess @watchyourbuck @actualalligator MWUAH MWUAH 💛
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stagefoureddiediaz · 11 days
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As so many of you are filling my inbox asking about salad and why I found the fact they had two types of salad for dinner in the Buck and Tommy dinner scene so funny, I'm guessing you're new to the 911 fandom - Welcome if so! I am going to give you a very brief rundown of salad and Buck and Eddies various relationships, but @clusterbuck is actually the keeper of salad theory and you can find far more detailed analysis over on her blog than you’re getting from me here!!
I can't find gif of the actual salad moments so have pictures!!
Chris smashed salad bowl that he is making a salad in with his dad in season 4 (in Breaking point) - when he finds out about Ana being the person Eddie is dating.
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We have Ana turn up at the firehouse with Chris during the black out in 5x02 with 5 - yes 5 - types of salad When Eddie has his second on screen panic about Ana - when Ravi mistakes her for his wife.
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Then in 5x03 just before they break up - Eddie, Chris, and Ana are at the dining table in the Diaz house and they are eating fruit salad
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Then in 5x05 we have Taylor with her prepackaged fruit salad breakfast the she has 'made' for Buck when he gets home
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she is making a bean salad in 5x09 during the most awkward I love you scene in the history of television!
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Then we have a caprese salad in front of Natalia during the Dinner Buck cooked for her in 5x17 - when she finds out about various aspects of Bucks past and present - Taylor on the tv and Kameron turns up
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Then in 7x07 - when Eddie is daydreaming of a do over with Shannon during his lunch with Marisol they are eating a salad
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then we now have Buck and Tommy eating two different types of salad (a pasta salad and a salad salad) on their dinner date
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so basically it's become a bit of a running joke that if salad is involved with Buck or Eddie and one of their dates (especially in their own homes) , the relationship is doomed!
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possamble · 2 months
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
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She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
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She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
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(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
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However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
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Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
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"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
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copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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bones-n-bookles · 22 days
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Cave Bean for @losech 💜
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chrollohearttags · 7 months
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one thing about me..is that I don’t continue series if they’re making me too sad and I’m not in the headspace to deal with them. Unlike with real world events, I can ignore a bunch of drawings in my safe space. It literally does NOT have to exist if I don’t want it to. Why willingly subject myself to something like that when there’s no need? It’ll be there when I’m ready to consume it again (the beauty of modern day technology and streaming amirite?) like I can’t turn off what’s going on in the world and the least I can do as someone privileged enough to not have to live through it is pay attention and spread awareness. I however, do not have to watch a show where everybody is getting packed up and it’s just pain. I don’t owe them a fuck thing tbh. Choose your battles wisely babes xo 🫶🏾
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smalltimidbean · 9 months
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Does the cycle ever END
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badolmen · 1 month
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🖤❤️💚🤍 🥹🥹🥹 you know?????
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Misc. photos from the past year or so ~
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. napping bapy boye sneeping on his own foot as if it were a pillow#2. The little primrose that I have seems to bloom sporadically all year around as long as I bring it inside and don't let it freeze#in the winter. This was a flower that came up randomly like mid november lol#3. Rainbow where you can see a little bit of a second rainbow near the bottom of it :0#4. CHILDREN.... love to see them.....#5. Halloween Candy ranking tierlist. not important enough to post on it's own. so throwing it in with one of these I guess lol#I am also not really a candy person at all and prefer bready stuff like cakes rather than chocolate bars (if I even have to have sweets#at ALL which usually I prefer savory food). I suspect the apple is controversial but.. I do love apples .... huzzah#actually am having applle and peanut butter snack right now as I'm writing this lol#6. Various bowls/cups/etc. that I got from a store at COMPLETELY different times like.. years apart from each other#yet at some point realized that they all mostly match in paint color and seem to be part of the same pattern#But I totally didnt make that connection until a few years ago when I was putting up dishes. I just bought them all invidually because it's#like 'oh cool! a cat' *1 year later* 'oh cool! a cat!' etc. lol.. I guess it must be a popular design if it's been around being sold that#long.#7. carne asada burrito and matcha bubble tea... oughhgh.... again one of my very rare meals where I actually go and get something..#probably my favorite meal currently. Something about the Chronic Anemia makes me crave beef burritos madly despite only having one#maybe twice a year or so ghjbhj.. plus the beans.... onions.... many of my Diet Forbidden foods... Also of course the little aishas#are there.... somehow they shall split the meal together even though it's like 10x bigger than their bodies.. they are also hungry#and vastly anemic... huzzah to them...#8. I've had this shirt for a long time but it fits very weird so I can never find a way to use it in outfits?? But I recently had#an appointment where a doctor needed to be able to look at my back and it's one of the only actual Shirts that I have (mostly i just own#long robes or tunics or jumper dress type of things that would be hard to lift up or etc. like... I dont even own a single normal 't-shirt'#or anyting aside from one giant tshirt that I sleep in in the summer lol.) So I wore this there.. I forget how much I love the pictures on#it.. how pleasant... little hummingbird... AND I think one of the flowers is supposed to be columbine ... !#photo diary
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afrobunnie · 4 months
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This sweaty handsome mechanic has spent the last six hours working on [insert object here]. However, he's just explained there's a part he needs to order before he can complete the repairs.
Trying something new. Hopefully it leads to smut with Carlos, but I'm making this out of my hands just in case via poll to hold myself responsible.
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merakiui · 1 year
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more beans day azul vignette that i really like!!!! orz he’s actually so pathetic it’s really too cute.
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howdoyousleep3 · 2 years
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was feeling v feminine and cozy and strawberry today 🍓💕
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ghostoffuturespast · 11 months
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Being a writer is weird.
#it's tough fighting that human visual bias on a platform like this#my queue ran out and i haven't posted any vp because i was trying to crank out that last chapter for my long fic#and like i get it maybe most people aren't interested in reading it#different strokes for different folks#but like the discrepancy between how people interact with photo vs writing posts is wildly disheartening sometimes#and i've been see-sawing back and forth all day about this#riding high and wallowing in the mud#this is literally the creative project that i've been pouring myself into for the past month and a half every spare moment i have#and i've been doing this for the past year and a half#it's weird pouring so much love into something when the vast majority of people won't even give it two seconds#i love writing but it is also a mentally exhausting craft and people don't seem to acknowledge that for some reason#it's why i try to reblog stuff from my writing mutuals when i see it because it's usually the artwork that gets the least amount of love#anyway just felt like getting that off my chest#i'm sure my fellow writers can commiserate too#i'm not mad or anything i just had thoughts and perhaps voicing them is better then stewing on them i suppose#also i feel bad for not reading more stuff from other people but i've got like zero beans to give atm#no need to worry or anything i'm still gonna keep writing and posting my shit#more vp comin in over the weekend#also god the new tumblr ui for desktop is fucking ugly absolutely atrocious#man i really don't want to have to set up shop on another social media outlet it's tiresome#i don't want to keep up i just want to blog in peace
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skelly-bean · 9 months
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Taking a short break rn to give my brain some breathing room but I’m so upset
I thought an important task I’ve been working on was needed by my supervisor on Monday of next week but I mixed up assignments and she actually needed it yesterday :(
So oops I’ve been working on it in more pieces all so I’d get it done for her by Monday….. so I’ve been working on it non-stop today 😭
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kelpiemomma · 2 years
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Part One | Part Two | Part Three (Here)
Final part of the Oops! Memories! Comic!
Ingo wakes up, wondering why he can smell breakfast cooking. Akari doesn’t typically get up before him and she’s not the best at cooking, even when she’s illused as a human, so he decides to get up and help her except- this is not his beautiful house. That is not his beautiful daughter. Those are not his beautiful pictures. As he looks things start clicking into place, memories slotting into where they had disappeared from before, except there’s something else. A voice calling out for a pokemon. His brother. Who enters the room, sees Ingo, and immediately slams the door. Ingo is confused and concerned, because this is definitely not right. This is not where he went to sleep the night before and his daughter isn’t with him. Emmet returns in tears, tackles his brother gleefully, except Ingo knows that despite his memories neatly returning and him being home.... something is deeply, terribly wrong and he needs to get back to his daughter.
Now the question is- did Arceus do this on purpose? Did they do it to be mean, to separate them? Or did they think that this was just the best way to return Ingo’s memories, by depositing him to where he was taken from and enabling them to return?
Transcript below the cut, one day I’ll use a scanner to clear things up,,,,
Image One Ingo: ...that smell.... ...is Akari up and making breakfast already? Ingo: I should get up and help before she-
Image Two Chandelure: Chuuur!♥
Image Three Ingo: Uh, pardon me if this is rude but what are you doing in my ho- Ingo: -me? Chandlure, chanting: Chur! Chur! Chur! Chur!
Image Four: Ingo: What... is this doing here? didn’t I go to sleep in the Highlands? Ingo: this... doesn’t look like the right frame...
Image Five: Ingo: ...what...? that’s me, but who is with me? Ingo: Wait, I... I know him... That’s... That’s my...
Image Six: (out of frame Emmet): Chandelure, are you still in there? You’re going to miss out on breakfast if you don’t come out soon. Archeops will eat it all. Chandelure: Chuuuuuuur!!! Emmet: Well, you’re sounding awfully happy for someone whose trainer is still missing. Did you have a dream about
Image Seven: Emmet: Ingo, or- Chandelure, providing ambiance to the silence: chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur~~~
Image Eight: (Emmet slams the door shut) Ingo: Ah- Ingo: I... have some questions... Ingo: ...Emmet....
Image Nine: (Emmet slams the door open) Emmet: INGOOOOOOOO?! Ingo: Emmet! Chandlure: Chur!
Image Ten: Emmet (primary words): You’re alive! Oh thank Arceus! It’s been years, Ingo, we thought you were DEAD! How did you get in here?! I’ve missed you so much- Elesa cried BUCKETS! Chandelure was inconsolable! Emmet (secondary words): I was so afraid you were dead... it’s almost the anniversary... missed you so much...i can’t believe you’re back... why are you buff?...everyone’s been so sad-...why do you have facial hair? Ingo: Emmet... Emmet: Yeah?
Image Eleven: Ingo (primary words): I need to go back. Ingo (secondary words): She was hurt- Akari’s not here... how did this happen? was she left alone? my daughter... she can’t be alone- Emmet: Wah?! Why?! Where?!
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semercury · 6 months
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Desperately looking up if dried beans can go bad 😔
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vigilantejustice · 11 months
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:(
#literally dumb as rocks beans for brains of me to even ever think going back to do my diploma in early#childhood education as a means to get back into the industry after like four years out was even a little bit a good idea#the job broke me the first time + i’m in a much much much worse place now#have been looking through the first chunk of assessments + so much of it is management type stuff#which is fine on paper#but doing these sorts of assessments in practice is. not something i can do#i have a settling in period of like three years minimum it takes me so long to build any confidence#+ almost every assessment involves walking into service as a student + then having to demonstrate a level of authority#which is no bueno for me#like the first assessment involves leading a team meeting#how am i supposed to walk into a centre brand new + ask to lead a meeting#and then every piece of placement assessment is the same sort of thing#lots of having to approach parents to sign permission forms + lots of taking control of rooms or learning experiences#it’s funny because technically it’s all stuff i can do because i did do it#like i ran the nursery as a lead educator + did all the management stuff but that was after having been there for a year as a student#then as an assistant so i was like. comfortable + established in the centre if that makes sense?#i couldn’t just walk into any centre off the street into a management position i need to work my way into it#if that’s what i even wanted to do#so to do it as a student is a no go#on top of that just the idea of going back to any work let alone back to childcare has given me nightsweats#since the diploma started. like my anxiety about it is out of control + realistically logically i know that this is not something that’s#going to work out but i’m ready to throw up about it because what do i do?#i’m struggling big time with feelings of inadequacy for not being educated + can’t shake the feeling that my life is kind of over#because i haven’t got a degree + it doesn’t seem like i’m going to be in a position to be well enough to get through one#+ i don’t know what work i’m cut out for i don’t feel like i’m good for anything#which sounds dramatic but i mean it in a very genuine way i’m just too nervous + scared + uncomfortable#i’m just not functioning in any sensible way + i don’t know what to do with myself#like dropping this course just makes sense but what then? what job is there for me?#it all just starts spiralling out into thinking about that i’ll probably never be able to afford to live independently out of home#+ that spirals into thinking about how i’ll never find anyone + how my life is so messy + meaningless
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