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therealvagabird · 3 years

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The Zodiac of Auma-Maan

AKA: I made a star-sign chart! It references some occult setting themes I’ve used in several contexts. Feel free to find your astral avatar, as dictated by the ancient sages of the far galaxies...

Many species across countless reaches of time and space have crafted their own mystical star-charts to attempt to bridge the material and the divine. Yet the eldest and most powerful of all these zodiacs is held to be that of Auma-Maan, the star-cycle of the Ur-Aum, also known as the Dawn Celestials. Understanding of the Auma-Maan can enlighten one to many patterns within the fabric of creation, peeling back time and energy like the petals of a flower bud to expose the secrets within. To dissect the endless tessellations and trines of the Auma-Maan zodiac would be an infinite endeavor, and so what follows is the simplest form adapted for human use.

Jan 6 – Jan 20: Dormin, the Colossus

Lord of winter, Dormin bears similarities to legends of the Jotunn or other such elemental giants of Earth. He sleeps throughout the stellar cycles and is awakened only in times when all other things die or lay dormant. Thus is his warpath unchallenged when he arises at last in might. Those born in the time of Dormin are resolute and unflagging, with a fire burning ever in their chest, even if they appear outwardly stoic.

Jan 21 – Feb 3: Avaka, the White Horn

An omen of good fortune, Avaka is a mysterious being sometimes said to be bestial in appearance, though none know much more than that. Common traits of Avaka are the majestic horns it bears on its head, and that it moves like a rushing winter’s wind. Avaka appears to the worthy during their darkest times, glimpsed at the edge of one’s vision and thereafter forgotten, but forever imprinted upon their soul. Terrifying to the ignorant and the ignoble, Avaka is the enemy of evil spirits and inspires those born under it to be as enigmatic and powerful as it is.

Feb 4 – Feb 19: Vui Wanai, the Everborn

Sometimes called the “Fey” on Earth, Vui Wanai is the Ur-Aum representation of a “precursor god” to the Vuwana, the Everborn. The Everborn are a eusocial race of adaptable plantlike beings which were known at the dawn of time for their great magics, growing from among the youngest of the old Pentarchy into a powerful empire. Those born under Vui Wanai are attuned to nature and can never be cut off from it.

Feb 20 – Mar 5: Ka, the Leviathan

The great beast of the abyss, Ka symbolizes the unknown, the powerful and unfathomable forces of the outer dark, and the might of the gods. Ka is both a creator and a destroyer, and an aspect of the incomprehensible power of the tides of fate and nature beyond mortal skeins. To be under the dominion of Ka is to have the opportunity for untold power, but also for untold ruination – though fear of the unknown will never prove insurmountable.

Mar 6 – Mar 20: Akshia, the Vessel of Plenty

Likened to the cornucopia of classical myth, Akshia is a legendary invention said to hold the keys to true genesis. Akshia represents unfettered abundance, infinite resources, and boundless energy. It is associated with birth, creation, and life. Individuals born under Akshia can likewise expect bounty to flow their way and tend to have larger reserves of energy and good luck than most. Akshia is among the most powerful of the Terran signs and can be invoked for wealth and prosperity. The most powerful of races throughout history have placed the sign of Akshia upon the hulls of Genesis Engines as a point of ritual.

Mar 21 – Apr 4: Amon-Bal, the Horned Hearth

Incarnation of the home, the balance of nature and humanity, and the bounty of the divine. Most often represented by an ambiguous figure crowned with great, twisting horns, Amon-Bal has sometimes been mistaken for a demon or other fel creature of the outer dark. In truth, Amon-Bal stands for sustenance, fire, family, and other basic necessities which sustain mortal races long before they ever ascend to the stars. Those born in the time of Amon-Bal are often of temperate attitude and simple pleasures, but will not shy away from doing what is necessary to take care of them and their loved ones.

Apr 5 – Apr 20: Eanlil, the Egg

Eanlil is a powerful concept, representing dormant power which has yet to come into fruition. It mirrors the collective consciousness of sapient species, the biospheres of entire worlds, or the harmonic fields generated within the hearts of stars. Eanlil is perfect balance and unlimited energy, yet unborn and unrealized. The “Egg” which this astral avatar inhabits is the same type from which the Celestial Dragons were said to have been birthed. To be born under Eanlil is likewise to have limitless potential, and often a tendency to attract power in turn.

Apr 21 – May 4: Khar-Nin, the Primordial

Great beast of the deep earth, Khar-Nin is a personification of the raw forces which shape planets and entire terrestrial landforms. Khar-Nin embodies eternal change and the clashing powers of creation and entropy within the cosmos. While not so tied to life and the cycles of nature as some other avatars, Khar-Nin still grants those born under its sign the blessings of endurance and perseverance. The Primordial is strength, eternity, and power.

May 5 – May 21: Insar, the Demon

Insar is a distillation of all those traits which define demonkind, both positive and negative. Standing for selfishness, chaos, destruction, and mutation, Insar is also a patron to passion, survival, and change. Still, Insar is often regarded as one of the darker signs, and those who hold its power are said to be prone to demonic behavior in turn. None would deny the efficacy of such attributes, though one must always be careful that ambition is put towards constructive ends, and does not lead to ruination.

May 22 – Jun 5: Orhirat, the Eternal Serpents

Also referred to as the Orhirati in plural, this sign is oft represented by two snakes devouring each other in an eternal cycle. As such, Orhirat symbolizes rebirth and eternity, not unlike the ouroboros or the taijitu. Raw energy is held within the Orhirat, and it is often associated in turn with the Celestial Dragons and their boundless power. Those born under Orhirat are often subject to extremes of passion – love, anger, and the like. They attract energy and produce energy in great abundance, making them vivant and willful with the force of their personalities.

Jun 6 – Jun 20: Ohol, the Conquerors

Human interpretations of Ohol tend to evoke images like the Wild Hunt, great figures like Genghis Khan, or other ravagers which come upon galloping steeds and lay waste to their foes. Ohol is an elusive concept which contains many contradictory elements within it – pain and pleasure, love and tyranny, chaos and unity. A popular depiction of Ohol is a pair of beautiful yet terrifying riders on horseback. Those born to Ohol likewise can be prone to flairs of passion, great ambitions, and a love of life’s pleasures. Terran warlocks are fond of invoking Ohol for all manner of rituals, being that it is among the most powerful signs that can manifest on our world.

Jun 21 – Jul 6: Praven, the Mariner

Patron to the intrepid, the enduring, inventive, and the adventurous. Praven is an ill-defined figure who nonetheless seems to uphold many of the traits and skills lauded by seafarers, void-sailors, and all those who ply the treacherous expanses. Rewarding those of great skill and discipline with the boons of freedom and fortune, Praven is among the most powerful avatars which can be invoked upon Earth.

Jul 7 – Jul 22: Itamn, the Chitinous

A representation of the “precursor god” of the Kitan, another of the Pentarchy and considered among the most intelligent races in the cosmos, having long since ascended to a higher plane of existence. Itamn takes the form of a titanic, crab-like creature, and is a patron to science and arcane study. Those born in the time of Itamn are often highly erudite and adept in learning.

Jul 23 – Aug 6: Ekhissu, the Chimera

Embodying change, the power of the unnatural, and the complexities of opposites and the harmony and discord they bring in equal measure. On Earth, Ekhissu is often represented by the Greek chimera or the Persian lamassu, though more traditional depictions tend to bend the mind with their alien anatomies. Ekhissu shows the strength to be found in things which are not always considered “natural” and is a patron to science and invention. However, adversarial concepts war within Ekhissu. Those who can find harmony within themselves will find a wealth of creativity and focus born from the synthesis of their internal struggles, while those who fall prey to discord will become monstrous and unthinking.

Aug 7 – Aug 22: Sol Rosol, the Ruler

Depictions of Sol Rosol among Terran cults has diminished much since the ancient days. The visage of the Lion Lord was subsumed into more palatable sky-gods and humanoid avatars. Among the earliest humans who were made privy to the secrets of the Ur-Aum magics, Sol Rosol was regarded as one of the most powerful and fearsome avatars of all the celestials. Drawn as a great lion-headed warrior in solid armor, with the tail of a monkey and holding a flaming scepter, Sol Rosol stands for divine rule, tyranny, beneficent leadership, warfare, and peaceful prosperity all in equal measure. Those born under its sign are often destined to lead and can look to Sol Rosol for their providence.

Aug 23 – Sep 7: Anu, the Child

Representation of birth, beginnings, purity, curiosity, imagination, and innocence. Anu is often interpreted as the “child” to Panduma’s “mother”, though in truth Anu embodies the beginning of all things. The limitless potential and endless diverging paths which remain un-congealed with every new beginning are held within Anu, and it forms the start of all reality, just as entropy forms the end. Those born under Anu often maintain a childlike wonder throughout their lives, and may benefit from mental elasticity and curiosity even into their old age – the greatest boons of childhood.

Sep 8 – Sep 23: Panduma, the Mother

Aspect of fertility, love, and plenty. On Earth, Panduma is associated with mother-goddess figures and harvest matrons. To the Ur-Aum, Panduma is an embodiment of biological cycles, such as those expressed in reproduction, which are of obvious importance to all lifeforms, as well as the passage between life and death, which also maintains balance in the world. Panduma is a patron to civilization and order. Individuals born under this sign tend towards traditional values, loyalty to their families, and are rewarded for their hard labor with great bounty. Also one of the most powerful of the Terran signs, Panduma bestows the resolute with good fortune.

Sep 24 – Oct 7: Terthon, the Winged

Symbol of the air and the power of flight. Terthon is notable in that, within the rune-tomes of the ancient Pentarchy, Terthon is depicted as a divine flying machine as much as (if not more than) any biological winged creature. To beings like the Ur-Aum and the Ga-An, Terthon was a representation of their birthright, their mastery of the air. To other species, Terthon symbolized that which they coveted, and the promises of progress and technology. Invoking Terthon or being born under its sign grants lightheartedness, inventiveness, agility of both body and mind, boldness, and other virtues held both within the winds and by those beings which sail upon them.

Oct 8 – Oct 23: Volk, the Hunter

Patron of hunters, tamers of beasts, and the like. In Ur-Aum spirituality, it was the essence of Volk which compelled various intelligent species to tame other creatures rather than just slay them. Likewise, Volk grants power to those who hunt to survive or to fell terrible monsters. In this way does the great hunter symbolize balance in the natural world. To have Volk’s blessing is to likewise be given the guile, strength, and wisdom to uphold this balance. For occultists, one of the most notable spells of this sign is to summon the Hounds of Volk – terrifying beings from beyond the skein of the void, who nonetheless are beloved for their great loyalty and focus.

Oct 24 – Nov 6: Kur-Ana, the Abyssal

Precursor sign of the Anaman race, also known as the Nameless Things. Among the oldest races in the cosmos are the Nameless, who were spawned from the effluvium of entropy produced as a by-product of other life coming into being. Kur-Ana is a reflection of the virtues held within Anamani Annihilism, their sacred theology. To follow the tenets of Kur-Ana is to embrace pain over pleasurable distractions, to not fear the darkness and to feel equal compassion for all things. Some xenodaemonologists of Earth have posited that certain lessons of Annihilism were uncovered and embraced by the precursor cults of certain near-eastern religions, though these are just hypotheses.

Nov 7 – Nov 22: Nammu, of the Oceans

Sign of the oceans and all great waters, from the primordial puddles which later give rise to entire worlds of life, to the astral glaciers which hold within their hearts secrets incomprehensible. Of all the essences in existence, water is among the most powerful. Nammu shares traits with many sea gods of Terran lore, being both a bountiful provider and a bitter destroyer. Those born to Nammu’s sign often hold within them the strength of the sea, along with its deceptive nature.

Nov 23 – Dec 6: Zagaya, the Spear

Avatar of warfare and warriors. Long have been the millennia past since the Ascended have had to stoop to base warfare, but the struggle of conflict is never so far removed from the hearts of sapient beings. Battle is both an addiction, a lust, as well as a necessity at times – when horrors lurk always in the outer dark. Though mortal fighters may often prefer to trust in the strength of their own hands, or the favor of their personal conqueror-gods, Zagaya is always looking down upon them. To be held under Zagaya’s sign is to be a warrior true, even if one is so fortunate as to never know battle in their lifetime.

Dec 7 – Dec 21: Path, the Thunder Bird

Embodied by the lightning bolt, and herald of the storm, Path is a being of pure power and sometimes likened to the Celestial Dragons – most ancient and mighty of the primordial beings which shaped the cosmos. Path brings both destruction and creation, terror and exultation. Though not malevolent, all should be careful when dealing with the Thunder Bird. Those born during the time of Path are likewise noted for their sheer drive and natural ability in all that they do, no matter what stands in their way. Path is also among the mightiest signs to invoke upon Terra, due to our world’s astral positioning, and is considered among the greatest sources from which star-paladins can channel their power.

Dec 22 – Jan 5: Paramis, the Devourer

One of the darkest and most terrifying of the zodiac signs, Paramis is likened to the demons, the void-parasites, and the Hungering Blood. The house of Paramis is death, deception, and conquest. Paramis’ power lays in adaptability, using your opponent’s strengths against them, and always pursuing your own growth and empowerment. Despite this, Paramis is not considered “evil” in the confusing cosmology of the Ur-Aum, given that Paramis is held to be a tester, a tutor, an embodiment of survival, and one of the beings which brings about the end of kalpas. Paramis is also one of the most powerful signs that can be invoked on Earth and is a favorite of the most daring warlocks. To be born under Paramis is to have the will to survive at all costs, to fear nothing, and to crave everything.

#fantasy #sci fi #science fantasy #creative writing #star sign #zodiac #horoscope #occult

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gooberto · 5 years

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i think xurkitree might be tied with guzzlord for my favorite ultra beast because while guzzlord’s “all-consuming otherworldly monster that turns out to actually be a giant baby the second you give it a pat on the head and start throwing beans into its gaping maw” shtick is incredibly lovable and precious, xurkitree just feels the most like a completely surreal alien monster that you don’t really know what to make heads or tails out of. There’s something so wonderfully bizarre about this menacing, faceless bundle of plantlike electrical wiring, and the encounter with it had a hell of an impact because a) its entrance just looks SO DAMN COOL and b) the actual fight itself was easily the toughest Ultra Beast battle because it hits like a fucking truck, sets up electric terrain to hit even harder and keep you from putting it to sleep, wallops any ground-types with power whip, and jacks up its special attack even higher if it manages to get a KO (which it very easily can, even on something that resists electric)

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And then you take it into Pokemon Refresh and are just like “where....where should i pet this thing” and just have to blindly try rubbing its various tendrils with very little indication of how it’s feeling since it doesn’t have a face, and when you please it it wiggles in delight while making an unearthly electrical sound and it’s like Yes! I’ve Made Contact With This Alien Being!

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It’s just so unique and otherworldly that I can’t help but love it. That obscene special attack stat certainly makes using it in battle tree or wifi hella tempting, too....

#xurkitree #goo plays pokemon sun #sorry just. gonna gush about an alien mass of electrical cable for a bit #i love me some glass cannons too *looks at darmanitan*

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gobbochune · 7 years

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Dream Journal: The Train

I had a dream I was playing an open world RPG and there as an achievement for completing this ‘train tour’ that was famous in the lore for being the best and greatest tour in the world. So I grinded until an enemy dropped a ‘ticket’ and I went to the nearest station to start the tour.

So I boarded the train, and noticed there were these weird little ledges up over the seats that everyone seemed to be fighting over. For whatever reason, they were considered more luxurious then normal seats, but unlike the seats, were first come first serve. Over the intercom the conductor told us that they had better seats up there in honor of African Americans who had to give up those seats on the bus, and were originally installed so anyone who faced prejudice would still be allowed to ride the train. However, since these extra seats were such a famous part of this renowned tour, everyone was fighting with each other to sit in the special seats. Including myself. Idk why I cared so much, but I did.

So the train gets rolling and I spend the entire time squabbling with others until suddenly the train lifts off the ground and begins to fly. I smile to myself and admire the beautiful landscape, and soon we arrive at a station in the clouds. The conductor announces that this is one of the many spots in the tour, but warns us that if we spend too much time at the stop the train will leave without us.

While everyone else floods out to see the shops and stuff, I just poke my head out to grab some candy and a snack and then try to go right back to the train, because I want to get a spot on the special seats. However, I dont know how to get back. A new quest pops above my head.

The Conductor’s Sneaky Brother

The quest states that the renowned conductor has a sneaky little brother who tries to prank his older sister by getting people lost at the stations so they cannot reboard the train. I see other player characters below desperately trying to do the mini quests that he forces us to do within the time limit, so they can get back to the train.

One of the main quests is that we have to transport bits of brittle colorful chalk to these little wooden bins, while the little brother explains:

“These are for my sister! And the chalk are like a promise! you wouldn't break a promise to my sister, would you?”

Timed challenges stress me out. I consider reseting the quest but this time just staying on the train, but I look online on a tutorial that says if I had stayed on the train the car would have been attacked by hornets and stung by their queen, and I would have had to pay 200 gold for an antidote. So while everyone else is hurriedly trying to transport the chalk without breaking it, I just walk to the very end where there is a pull elevator. I try to pull the elevator down and step onto it, but the brother jumps down with me to weigh down the elevator so I cant pull myself up.

Instead of trying to push him off, I teach the little brother how to climb the elevator ropes, and manage to BS my way past his quest.

The conductor’s mother comes across and asks what we’re doing, and the brother says that because I got past his prank so easily he wants to give up being a little shit and just ride his sister’s train. The mother looks to me and asks what I’m doing, and since I dont wanna have to replay the dumb mini game I insist that I just want to look after the little brother.

Immediately following, the station has transformed into a fire-and-brimstone level design, the train looking like some lovecraftian hell beast thing. Think Primordus. And I’m trying to run to get back on the train, but then the conductor speaks over the intercom.

“My little brother just tripped and fell and died. I can’t imagine someone so selfish who promises to watch him so they can get back on the train, then just abandons him. They deserve to be torn to bits!”

I see that three other player characters made the same mistake I did, and the train drives straight into a blender where we all die and have to reload.

I’m back at the brother cutscene, but this time I hold onto him and look after him the entire way back.

This time the station is made out of plants and flowers, and the train itself has transformed into a river of lilypads. A new quest pops up and the conductor says:

“You seem so invested in my family, what is your favorite thing about my mother, father, and little brother? It’d be a shame if you’re only pretending, and you dont really know them at all.”

And I’m like. “fuck” and look down at the options. There’s a prickly lilypad that I immediately chose for the brother. “I like how sharp he is” and then there’s a flower and a stem lily pad. I put the dad on the stem one and say “I like how sturdy he is” and the mom on the flower, “I like her petals.” and then hop on the remaining lilypad and wait for her to kill me. I’m sure I got it wrong, but it was a timed event so I couldn’t open up a walkthrough.

But weirdly enough, I didnt die, and was immediately placed in a private car on the train with the conductor’s family, me still having a protective arm curled around the little brother. The mother talks to me like I’m a new addition to the family, and I resolve to protect them as best I can from now on. I keep held tight to him throughout the bumpy ride, always terrified that either me or him will lose our grip and fall off.

Eventually we come to a brick tunnel, and the conductor explains over the comm:

“This was built for the homeless and starving, its a never ending feast!”

And we see all this food on a table, with people eating it. I speculate that taking food will just make the conductor angry for stealing it out of the mouths of the hungry, and just continue holding on to the little brother. We pass through this tunnel six times, until finally the train stops and we’re in this weird industrial yard.

I finally see the conductor, and she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. She marches up to me and demands what I’m doing. The mother speaks up for me and says that I’m a part of her family now, but the conductor doesn’t buy it. She reveals, (which I had began to speculate by now) that the train tour was really just a way to weed out the most selfish, people who used and abused other’s to stay on the train would be killed horribly. Thats why she had her little brother try and keep people from getting back on, thats why she had all those moral tests, so she asked what kind of sick person I was to be so devoted to lying and pretending to be a good person that I’d join a new family just for a stupid train tour.

I said that I legitimately care about the family, and she asked if I cared about her little brother. I look down and see that he’s transformed into this weird plantlike snake that’s coiled around my arm, because apparently feelings of love spark their race into transforming into the next stage of their evolution. I freak out and set him down, thinking that if I just leave that he’ll go back to normal. The conductor mocks me for trying to abandon them, and says that I did hurt my brother, for pretending I cared about him just so I could pass some morality test, and then immediately trying to abandon him.

The mother stands up for me though, and tries to get us back aboard the train. I pick up the flower snake child and apologize to him, stroking his head and telling him I’ll always be there for him. I know that the last reveal about the train is going to be that the conductor is a lich or something, or that I’m the one turning into the conductor as I take her place, but I promised that I’d be there for the brother so I keep going.

We walked through the halls of this eerily quiet station, all the while the mother tells me that I’m a good person while the conductor tells me I’m a fraud.

I woke up before we got to reboard the train, because dreams dont have to have conclusive endings.

#pume's magical life #dream

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the-heroic-changeling · 7 years

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So I think I did okay at my interview today

So in celebration, please have my full draft of my post apocalyptic sequel to my vigilante short stories. It's quick, brief, but kinda depressing and melancholy. So please be aware this is a bit sad. And then it gets weird at the very end.

Anyway, here it is. Tagging @jogress @akirakan and @renaroo

I scuttled across Home Three, my six legs clattering behind me. My feet sent impulses through me, the texture of the ground mapped with each touch. My main sight however was electroreception, the ability to sense electricity, both organic and inorganic. I could feel pulses, small flickers like stars poking out through bloated clouds.

The world existed in starlight, like dots among an endless void. Not black, not white, not anything that could be adequately described, just an absence. No sound, no light, just little flickers below me, and scattered shards of jewels dulled and faded with dust.

It was all-consuming to my autistic mind. It was a giant maw of emptiness, broken up only by the impulses and sparks of the scattered life that still squirmed and grew. I tried to focus on them, on the tardigrades, on the lichen, on the survivors

When I had to see I could project into Voyager I and II, Opportunity, or Curiosity, Akatsuki, Huygens, Mascot, Minerva II, any of the rest of the still functioning landers — or even the multitude of stranded UUV that dot that oceans. But there still wasn't much to see there, unless I piloted it to one of the vents. At least, there was nothing to see like home. I mean it was home, this was Earth but it ... it didn't feel like it. It felt empty. Only little sprinklings of life.

...I wonder what the Earth looks like now. Like, through eyesight.

I could only stay on Home Three for short amounts of time, it would be selfish too stay here long, even with my planting. I had to look for movement, try to cultivate the octopi and uplift them, and had to salvage on Mars and the Moon. I had felt bad crashing so many satellites, but I needed resources, and I had known they would crash eventually anyway. Might as well aim them by my bodies so I could have metal, circuits, and electronics. Ideally some that had not been fried by the nuclear war.

The satellites of Earth were all gone now, most of them had fried long ago, the rest had been aimed by me to crash either near Home Three or any of the UUV's. Lucas had been very loving to this body, she made its claw very articulate. It had nothing on a human had, but it still could manipulate well. For emphasis I tapped my claw against my back, strumming the plastic card I carried with me. I could almost feel the card, blind as I was.

...I miss hands. It's hard to stim without hands.

I pulled my claw back and dropped it in front of me like a cane. I probed ahead, feeling for anything interesting. Most of the world in front of me was just bits and pieces of electronics, rusted metal - I was no engineer, though Lucas had tried to teach me. I-I had gotten better over the ... decades? I think it had been decades. Probably not a century had passed yet, at least I didn't think so. Point was I still had plenty of machinery to manipulate and try to build with. I had given up making eyes ages ago though, too difficult.

I paused, feeling something under my foot. I stepped back, and with my claw I clasped at the shape. It was rough but patterned. Probably another infertile seed. Still, I clutched it, and scuttled over towards the planting ground.

I had churned and molded this patch of ground for ages, and lichen and other 'plants' had flourished there. Sometimes even lasting long enough to launch spores and seed new life. No large plants ever grew, no matter how many seeds I tried to plant, carried by the wind. Still, had to try, just in case one seed actually worked.

I dug it in, as the light squishy plants pressed against my legs. I paused digging so I could feel the plant, feel the moldable soft surface. I squeezed over and over, before pulling back and burying the would be seed. As I did I could see tardigrades squirming alongside a pillbug, if I identified it right? It was a big creature, it dwarfed the normal wildlife, that was for sure. But electroreception was not as a precise a long as vision.

I finished burying the seed, and clattered away, leaving the oasis behind. Lichen did grow everywhere here, same with mold. But here in my ... garden I supposed, here they actually grew a bit stronger.

I went back through the emptiness, scuffling my feet as my claw draped in front to help me see. I could feel the squishy plantlike life that clung to the ground, feel tardigrades crawled through them. The tiny beasts were common now, some of the most complex life in Mexico. Well, what was Mexico. Now the country was water logged and empty.

This had been Lucas's country. That was what Home Three was, her grave. Where she finally collapsed from the radiation poisoning, my last friend. I had tried to bury her, but my body here was small, weak, it could not ... it could not lift a person, it could not dig the earth enough to bury a human sized body. I ... again I was helpless.

I reached down and squeezed some lichen, letting the soft material ooze through my claws. I padded it, molded it, trying to calm. At least calm as best I could. There was still life here. Animals, plants — life persisted.

I knew in the deeps more complex life lived, mostly sheltered and cut off from nuclear winter. There were shrimp, clams, tube worms, crabs, snails, eels, some ray-finned fish, and even octopi. Octopi! I ... I fixated a lot on the octopi. And not for special interest reasons.

I knew it would take ages for sentient life to evolve again, even with my help. It would even take ages for complex life to recolonize the upper oceans and the surface. But octopi were a good chance for a successor to humanity, they were smart and they had appendages similar to hands and a very complex nervous system. I had used my UUV to contact them, gesturing to them with the machines' mechanical arms, tried to show them things. It felt mostly like failures. But I kept trying. Some of their groups had grasped how to use tools like rocks to smash open clams, three colonies seemed to grasp that meat cooked near the vents tasted better. It was slow going, but they were learning. Some of them anyway, it varied on the species or the group. But some learned, and some even taught each other without my help.

I relied on those teachers. Because otherwise I ... I might have to do something evil. And I did not want to be evil, not now not ever.

I knew they were still a long way from intelligence like humanity had. And it would be a longer time until I can teach them the Torah, or at least what I remembered of it. I remember a lot but I was no teacher, just a superhero in the waning days of humanity. I ... I also felt nervous about converting the octopi, in Judaism we didn't exactly focus on conversion, we welcomed new Jews but we didn't really make it a mission. At least, not my synagogue.

But I just ... I wanted out stories to continue. I wanted the covenant to be honored. I know it was after the end of the world but I ... I still ... I needed to know we survived. I needed us to have survived. And I was just one Jew in an empty world.

I was a superhero once upon a decade, I could project my consciousness into machinery and switch mechanical bodies at will. I was called the Drone, I helped protect people, disrupt lynch mobs, smuggle supplies to vulnerable communities. I was not the best hero, but I tried. And I ... I did some good. At least I had before the world ended.

I rambled a lot, my thoughts drifted and churned wildly. No medicine to help me focus, no mouth to take it either. And no one to talk to except the occasional octopi. Well, them and the things I couldn't really see.

...

I piloted this unmanned underwater vehicle down, nearing the octopi. I had named this group the 'Smoked Twelve' since there were twelve of them regularly together, and they were one of the groups that cooked their clams in the smoking vents. They were very intelligent, they used rocks to smash open then clams, then held them by the boiling vents to cock them and add flavor. I had tried to teach them that, but they did the bulk of the work learning.

They were descendants of one of the first groups I contacted, a group of refugee octopi not native to the vents. Some of the upper ocean life had managed to sink below and adapt, many by feeding off the massive tons of dead sea life from the fallout, much of them still lived there.

Others like the ancestors of the Smoked Twelve moved into the vents as the rotting ocean floor began to shrink and food began to grow more scarce. They were ill adapted to the heat and the dark, but they were smart. And so far they had survived in the vents for three generations, alongside the native species of octopi.

Only Algae and bacteria clung to the surface of the ocean, and their dead sank down. But animal life was rare in the wider ocean, impossible in the irradiated poisoned surface, and still mostly uncommon in the depths, save near the vents. But it was becoming more common. Crabs and eels from the vents occasionally roamed away from the vents to feed on the decaying corpses of animals killed by the fallout of the war, a massive food source with barely any competitors. The octopi followed too, same with the occasional snail and fish. Surface life also came below, breeding and living off the death. There was still a number of food away from the vents, and life was beginning to adapt to that niche.

My mind drifted a lot nowadays. In the present I hovered in front of the octopi, and they drifted towards me, swimming closer. I worried I was taming them, not educating them, they just were conditioned to obey not to learn. But I ... I wanted hope.

I drifted to the floor of the ocean and moved my metal arms down, before I grasped a rock. Then in my other claw I lifted up a second rock. I swam in front of the octopi group, never learned their proper group name, and I bashed the rocks into each other, slowed by the thick pressure of the water. But still the rocks chipped and splintered, forming little pieces of rock fractals.

The octopi mostly just encircled me, so I repeated it again with new rocks. I had been trying this particular lesson for a bit now, a few years I thought, at least with this group. I was no biologist, no scientist, and I wasn't trained to teach animals. I had pets once but they knew no tricks. But I hoped that if I smashed rocks enough, they would begin to learn how to make knives of stone. And that meant cutlery, the ability to give potions of meant, better cooking on the vents, and possibly more food. And more food meant more risks and experimentation.

One of the octopi grabbed a rock — I recognized the older Octopi, it was Lucca. I had named them for Lucas and the inventor from the Chrono Trigger video game - because they were better at understanding things and experimenting than the rest, they seemed to understand more bits and pieces, figure out more of the concepts. They really did the heavy lifting in understanding me. Right now they pounded the rock into the ground, pounding it until it began to shatter.

I had my body's arm release one of the rocks, and then reach out, struggling, struggling to grasp a shard of rock from the collision I caused. I waved my mechanical arm back and forth, trying to grasp, close, almost, nearly there, just got to strain—

Finally I clutched the shard of rock, and held the chunk of thin sharp rock up. The Octopi did not respond, just staring at me blankly. At least I thought the stares were blank.

I took the knife and drifted down towards a crab they had been eating. One of the Octopi swam past me in a burst of speed, and picked up the crab, hauling it away. That was probably the one who had caught it. I stared after the octopi, as it carried the crab to the vents to cook it. I drifted back away, another failed day.

Lucca had bash the rocks together many times before, maybe fifty. They still didn't know it was to make the knife, or how to use it, or why. They knew how to make the tool, that was fine. But cutting open meat, scooping out the insides, they still struggled with that. I rarely got far enough to show them that motion.

Still Lucca still followed after me, even as their fellow octopi went back to their usual routine. So I might as well had tried to take advantage of this moment. I carried my knife with me, Luca following behind, as I reached a clam.

Swallowing I plunged the knife down, scooping at the inside meat, cutting it away. I felt uneasy, icky, but less so than when I first did this process. And I wasn't eating it, so my guilt felt smaller, as little sense as that might make.

Luca stared at me as I acquired the meat, as with my second hand I pulled out the meat of the clam. I threw it to Lucca, who caught it with their tentacle, and began to swim away. I followed them, before they held the meat out over the vent.

They bite into the meat with their beak, tearing it apart in big chomps. I waited more

And then they left.

I followed after her of course, their body shifting and swimming. They propelled bubbles from their sideways jet, launching them father from me than I could swim.

When I finally caught up they were winging a rock around, seemingly playing with it.

Smash! they struck the rock against the ground, it exploding into stars. They swept their tentacles through the debris in a series of whooshing motions, before abandoning the shards and picking up a new rock to smash.

I stared as they smashed that rock too, then another. The pieces gradually drifted to the ocean floor. I had failed again to teach, there was still too much mental distance.

But at least they had a new toy, a new way to play. It was ... disappointing it was so destructive though. But it was only rocks. And I would rather Lucca pounded rocks together than say tear clams apart for fun.

Lucca would teach the others how to play, I knew they would. It was ... back in human days people said you were not supposed to project human qualities onto other species. Human behaviors were not animal behaviors.

But Lucca ... I would almost describe them as a fellow asexual. They were older than the rest, but they had never mated, and they had taught pretty much all of the Smoked Twelve how to cook and how to club clams.

But they were getting older. One day they would ... they would d-die. And then who would teach the next generation?

I was grasping at any wisp of hope I could find, as ridiculous as some of those hopes were.

I drifted back away, there still was hope as the behavior was taught to play with rocks, they would eventually figure out what they could use the pieces for on their own. But again, that was probably asking a lot from the mollusks.

I ... I wished mammals had survived. Or maybe birds. Both kinds of animals often were very smart, had lots of parental investment, especially birds. I ... I would have loved to have worked with a species of crow or raven, they were very intelligent, they understood so much. But the planet was too irradiated, and birds are very sensitive animals to distortions in climate. They all had perished long ago, the brief survivors suffering as the skies went dark and the atmosphere became a poisonous stew.

So I depended on crustaceans, cephalopods, and fish. Most of the fish were not as smart, but I was a vertebrate consciousness, and I still rooted a little for the eels and anglers that lurked in the deep. Crustaceans were already on land, at least if those were animals were types of pillbug. So they also had a good chance in the new world. They were almost unchallenged on the surface in size and power.

Overall, life would take ages to return to humanity's intelligence and power, maybe millions of years. I could wait, but so many nukes went off, and deep down I feared that they had drastically shortened the Earth's lifespan.

There were ... other things on the surface. Strange things. I knew of about five places with movement on the surface. But they did not glow right. One did not produce electricity at all, and I only knew they might be there by the animals they moved away. Others ... flickered faintly. They had shapes, a flow of electricity, but they were not as bright as living things. I ... I almost wondered if they were ghosts of some sort.

...

I screwed in the plates with my salvaged screwdriver. It was a cobbled together mess, bits of exposed wiring was visible, strange hybrids of cameras erupted from the base, and salvaged solar panels sprouted from it like strange metallic feathers.

I called it my Golemoon, because it was a construct I had made crudely on the moon. Crashed satellites, landers, equipment left behind by human expeditions - I took them all and melded them slowly into something like a rover.

It wasn't done, it was never done. But I had taken apart so many satellites and landers, both on asteroids, Mars, and on Earth, that I had figured out bits and pieces. It was slow, I wasn't that smart, but I had had decades to learn.

I pulled Yutu back, letting my camera take in the sight. I had found the Chinese rover in good shape, surprisingly good, she just needed some repairs on hand with a human intellect. It took some effort, it was hard to manipulate tools with the other rover's arms, but I still managed to fix her, and she now was my main hands on the Moon.

I refused to take apart Yutu, I needed hands after all, but even when Golemoon was completed I wouldn't dissect her. She was ... she was a human invention, a countries first landing on the moon. I couldn't bring myself to kill her.

The Golemoon was not done. It might never be done. Again I was no scientist, definitely not a engineer, I had just taught myself with what mechanical knowledge Lucas had shared. And I was never sure if that was enough.

Sometimes I tried to boost my confidence by reminding myself I was the smartest human alive. I then remembered I was also the most incompetent, and I ended up feeling just as useless.

I backed up Yutu, before turning to gaze towards Earth. It was white with pus, thick clouds blocked much of my view. There were cracks, but from here I couldn't see those peeking beams of sunlight. All I could see was a large fog blotting out the planet.

I wheeled again, to my wall. With my crude claw, built with parts from other rovers, I grasped at the ground, before picking up my rock. I wheeled over to the Plain of Memory, and began to carve again.

I sculpted words, first in Hebrew, then English, then the pidgin Lucas taught me. It was mostly based on Spanish, but with more Mayan and Aztec words mixed in than in the usual Mexican version of Spanish, along with some grammar. She had engineered the pidgin with help from Riccardo, as a sort of code for the three of us to use on her missions, and also to take pride in her Maya-Mexican heritage.

Lucas Rodriguez was the superhero called the Grasshopper, she could leap a good six yards into the air, kick people scores of feet away, and she had retractable armor resistant to most weaponry. Riccardo was her superhero mentor, and I helped scout for her and kept her in contact with the other superheroes on Earth.

I had written about her of course, about the Silken Seer, about Lightning Bug, Cadena, Slick, the Asper, Alchemy Man, my fellow heroes. And I also wrote about the history of our world, our mistakes, our triumphs, the discoveries, the genocides, the hate that destroyed humanity, but also our evolution, our relatives like chimpanzees and bonobos, our beliefs, as many as I could summarize well. It was a mad scribbling with little order in what I wrote, but it kept growing.

I knew a meteorite could shatter my work, but as long as I could I would repair it, keep the stories going. I had wanted to be a writer before I got my Power, and this was the most important story. Though the parts I told as a story were a bit ... altered to fit narrative flow better. As in I worded them differently.

I kept writing, today I was repairing a story about Mu'lan, it had gotten damaged recently. It was a nearly word for word translation of the original ballad, I knew it by heart. I knew we as humans were supposed to be wary about interpreting other cultures, but the last line about the hares, I viewed her as genderfluid. So it had been a source of strength growing up, that trans heroes existed for well over a thousand years.

I wasn't sure if the Octopi would understand gender, or if their future society would. Assuming they could and would develop a society, it would be alien to human society. If I told them I was a trans woman they would probably be confused about everything in that concept.

I continued to carve it, ugh I wish I knew Chinese. Mandarin, Cantonese - any Chinese dialect would be good. More people lived in China than anywhere else during the Fall of Man, and they were one of the sides in the war. They had less bombs, but not many were needed.

My former country was the other side. We had ... there were so many superheroes in the end because we were fighting against an evil dictator - elected with the aid of hateful monstrous bigots who wanted the extermination of anyone not like them. The election was tampered with by a hateful foreign dictatorship, who used our nation as a puppet.

In the end of a tyrant who couldn't understand restraint and a budding world power with everything to prove clashed, and the world ended in first fire, then snow, then rock.

In February 17th of 2018, that was the day of the Fall of Man happened. It felt like only the space of a few hours. Then for the next three years as the atmosphere turned thick and bloated and the surviving humans died off of starvation and radiation poison, an asteroid plowed into the Earth, finishing off the rest.

Humanity had known that asteroid was coming nearby, but with the planet's orbit destabilized by the hundreds of nuclear explosions, the planet was thrown closer towards the asteroid, letting it smash through and devastate the rest of the planet.

Now tardigrades and pillbugs ruled the surface, while in the depths octopi, eels, and crabs ruled. The smartest remaining species were some of the octopi, but it would probably take millennia at rest for them to understand things.

I pulled back from the Plain of Memory, the repairs were done. I roved away from the site, before pulling over to stare at the collection of writings scribbled onto the lunar surface. Just to take it all in. If Yutu broke down, I would want to have a full view of the writings.

I paused, before projecting out of Yutu. I flew about, the moon becoming an empty space with only a few lights flickering. I could not see the Moon itself, nor the Earth, I just could see the storms of Earth, flashes of radiance.

I flew back towards the storms, back towards the body Lucas made me. I had a couple ways of helping find bodies, I had a sorta of sense of where my former bodies were, like a spatial memory. I could find new bodies through electroreception too, I had the sense mostly when I was outside of bodies, only the body Lucas made me let me harness that sense.

I drifted suddenly. There was ... among the hum of plantlife drifted one of the "ghosts" I sometimes saw. But it ... it was far away from the other ghosts of its type. It was swinging its arms back and forth like ... like it was rowing.

The flickering unstable image was not of a human, but of a monkey. Like ... like a gibbon. I could only see its bioelectricity, and I could only see it flash. Again like it ... it wasn't real. There were many monkey ghosts, they were about the most common I could see. But they all clumped up in the remains of southern China, at least I thought it was China, it's hard to tell when you can only guess by the outline of animal life, the location of water, and the position compared to Mexico.

Regardless this ghost of a monkey was far to the East of their normal home, closer to my pillbug body. So then, it was sailing. Over the ocean.

I decided to risk it, and flew into a UUV, one close to the surface. I could not program, but I could give simple orders. She would rise up and head to where I see the monkey ghost, crude as this was I ... I needed to see if I could genuinely see these flickers. Because if they were real and not hallucinations, if there were mammals, not only mammals but tool using primates — oh I could check. Finally I could put the monkey business to rest, and the fear that I was going insane from loneliness, lack of a body, and lack of medication could finally be faced.

I was scared but ... this opportunity was right in my grasp, I had to face it.

Finally I sank into the little pillbug lobster creature of a body, feeling the soft squishy lichen against me feet. I scuttled away, might as well check on that seed, it was probably not awoken yet, even if it was fertile, but I had to check.

#My art #fiction #anxieties of 2017 #post apocalyptic

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