#I love how hardison knows EXACTLY what eliot needs to make him feel better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

party-gilmore · 3 years

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...well, I managed to get to literally JUST BARELY before the actual smut starts, so please enjoy this unbetaed 2k word teaser prologue of "demi/grayace Parker doesn't feel like she's Enough for Eliot without Hardison around, so he sets the record straight."

Set during The Hurricane Job, because who gives a damn if the ep is even OUT yet, am i right? XD

“Room 236.”

“What was that?” Eliot hums. His voice is muffled beneath the heavy, sopping weight of his jacket as he tugs the damn thing over his head. His shirt peels off right along with it, so he just shucks the whole shebang in the generic direction of his luggage. He’ll have plenty of time to see to it properly tomorrow - the storm will have them trapped at least another day. With a groan, he stretches out his bad shoulder. It’s not quite dislocated again, but it’s not quite right either. Two nimble hands sneak up from behind and flit their way over the shoulder blade, one bracing against the wet neck of his white tank top while the other presses swift and hard on the joint - and ‘pop’ goes the weasel.

Eliot flashes Parker a pained but soft smile through the old dresser mirror, but it falters when he catches her eyes peeking over his shoulder. There’s a look in them he isn’t familiar with, but doesn’t think he likes.

“Park-” he starts to turn around, but she manhandles him back away from her and shoves her hand into the back pocket of his jeans. No small feat tonight, they way the rain has soaked and damn near suction cupped them to his ass. “H-hey, woah, alright there darlin’, slow it down a bit,’ he chuckles, reaching back to feel for her, but she’s already hopping back and flashing a small, colorful rectangle at him.

“Room 236,” she repeats, flipping it around her fingers like a coin. Eliot frowns. They’re in room 225, just down the hall. They’d found what the crooked cops were after with time to spare, so there was nowhere left to search. Why then, would he still have a room key for-

Oh. He reaches back and pats the offending rear pocket, flushing as he remembers Marshall Shipp’s parting flirtatious wink and accompanying gentle smack on the ass as they’d parted ways a half hour ago. He hasn’t exactly been… discouraging her interest. It's felt good that women are still interested in him even as he’s put a few more miles on, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like the attention - especially from someone as 'his type' as Maria.

Well, what used to be his type, at least.

He shoots a sheepish, apologetic grin at Parker. Maria’s ‘interest’ was quickly becoming ‘intent,’ and now Eliot needed to find a way to nip that in the bud sooner rather than later.

“Damn, I should’ve noticed the reverse lift,” Eliot clears his throat, toying with the edge of the pocket absentmindedly. “She must’ve slipped it to me after we completed the radio broadcast. I was uh, distracted by our success I guess.”

“Bet that’s not all she’d like to slip you,” Parker’s voice takes on a bit more of a playful tone for a moment. Cheeky, teasing. It feels like solid ground.

“Hey now,” Eliot teases back, starting to undo his belt, slow and deliberate, as he begins toeing out of his boots. “I can’t help that I still ‘got it,’ darlin’. I can think of a couple folks I know offhand that might like to, uh… 'slip me a little something' right now, 'specially since I'm properly alone with one of 'em for the first time since-” The only problem is, he forgot how damn difficult these boots are to get off on a good day, let alone when soaked through with salt water. Swearing under his breath, he abandons his attempt at being suave to sit at the end of the bed and fumble with the ties. He should know better than try to look cool for either of his partners nowadays. It never works out quite right, and he’s starting to get to the age where he doesn’t even see the use of that kind of posturing anymore himself. They’ve seen him at his worst already - mentally, physically, emotionally - so what would be the point, really? On top of that, he may make a fuss about his ‘cool points’ in front of Breanna, but he knows Hardison’s sneaky ‘dorkification’ process he's been slowly contaminating Eliot with over the last decade is almost complete. He's still drawing the line at DnD, but he doubts that'll last much-

“...or, if you wanted, you could go let her slip it to you.”

Eliot is too caught up in his own head to really register the suggestion at first. He's busy ruminating on how differently his younger self would be handling this whole situation - all smooth moves and hot edges, shucking off clothing with a kind of casual grace.

‘Yeah, those days have long passed,’ he thinks, hunched over and fighting the waterlogged leather of his boots with fumbling, aching fingers. He gets the first one yanked off his foot less than gracefully, wincing at his ankle’s unsubtle protest, before what Parker said finally processes.

Slowly, he sets his singular boot the side and shifts enough to face her. Parker’s tone didn’t hold any bitterness or bite, just nervousness and a bit of resignation. She isn’t looking at him, but out the window, arms wrapped tight around her midsection in a way he hasn’t seen her do in a while. She bounces restlessly on her heels. There’s a clear energy inside her looking to get out. The thunder rumbles lowly through the suddenly silent room, murmuring a warning through the curling reverberation in Eliot’s gut.

He starts out gentle. Easy.

“...now why would I wanna go an’ do somethin’ like that?” Sometimes it’s easiest to bring things to Parker head on, and she’ll respond in her usual stark, frank manner. Just lay it all right out in the open to be picked apart. This isn’t one of those times. Eliot can read that much in every restless tap, every rapid twitch of her eyes to some place else in the room, any place that isn’t him.

“She’s your type, isn’t she?” Parker’s voice is a higher register than it should be, but not quite into her panicking zone yet. That’s a start. “She’s badass, sexy… passionate.”

Eliot notices her leaning heavy on that last word, and frowns.

“So are you, Parker.”

“Not in the same way!” She turns a bit, still looking outside, but her arms unwrap from herself to gesture between them. “Not the same way you and Hardison are!”

It’s quiet for another beat. The white noise of the hissing rain against the window settles into the room with a steady, thrumming tension. Eliot doesn’t jump to demanding clarification like he might’ve done a decade ago, doesn’t snap and tell her to stop beating around the bush. He’s learned that Parker tucks away all the information he needs to understand in every phrase, no matter how inane or incongruent it may seem. So Eliot holds his tongue and chews on the words for a while.

“Me and Hardison, huh?” He leans forward, elbows on his knees, and rubs his jaw in a performance of pensiveness. The movement draws Parker's attention and she finally looks over to him, following the back and forth of his fingers. He presses on, carefully. “Thought we were talkin’ bout me and the marshall. What’s Alec got to do with this?”

“Because he isn’t here!” Parker breaks, not enough to falter or crumble but enough to say what's on her mind before she can overthink it. "He isn't here and it's different! I can feel it! I'm not-" she fumbles her words for a minute, just waving between them again. "-all passionate about the whole sex thing like he is!"

There's that word again. Eliot knows where to go from here, at least. It's all about that word. He stands up, albeit a little awkwardly with one foot still in an inch high boot.

"Sure it's fun and I like it sometimes, but not like you two do! Alec balanced me out, could give you what you needed! I'm not… by myself, I'm not enough for… for y-..." Parker cuts herself before she can grow any more manic, bunching her face up and looking away again like she does when trying to stave off any waterworks before they can start.

Eliot can see her closing up again as her words fail her, but that's alright. What needed to get out made it out. He can take it from here. He hobbles over in his awkward, single-socked gait until he's close enough to take her shoulders in hand, but he doesn't pull her in for the hug. Not yet.

"Now I want you to listen to me, and listen good." Eliot makes sure his tone is firm, but gentle. Parker responds the way he'd hoped - still not looking, tilting her head down, but leaning toward him. Into his space. Receptive, and ready to hear him. "Yeah, it feels different. That's cause you and me? Are different from me and Alec. We're always gonna be. 'That makes us, us,' remember? Just like that's different from you and Alec. It's all part of 'us,' yeah, but it's… we got our own thing, Parker. And sure, we might like it best when it's all three of us, just because we love him so, so much, yeah?"

He lifts one hand from her shoulder and tucks a bit of hair back behind her ear, giving her a chance to respond if she wants. Parker murmurs a quiet "yeah," and steps in a little closer. Eliot tugs her in the rest of the way now, assured that she's open to the touch. She pillows her chin on the shoulder she fixed, and Eliot lays a light kiss to the outside of her ear before continuing in a lower voice.

"So… we miss him, when he's not here, and we don't have the 'all three of us' thing right now. That doesn't make our thing, the you and me thing, any less good. It doesn't- Parker, you're so much more than just enough for me. You're who I need... especially when we don't have Hardison. Don't ever doubt that."

"I'll try," Parker turns her head and mutters it into the crook of Eliot's neck, and he loves her all the more for it. It's better than any empty promise of 'I won't,' because he knows the honesty of it. Knows it's not just an empty platitude of 'I'll do it,' but the vulnerable admission of 'I want to, but don't know if I can.'

"That's all I ask, darlin'."

Because it is. That's all Eliot ever asks of her. To try. Never demands that she change, never insists she should be thinking of herself differently or more kindly than she does. Just that she tries to.

"Now. About this whole 'passion' thing," Eliot sighs, pulling back so he can do that thing he does to Hardison that Parker loves to watch him squirm under, but likes it a lot less when it's turned on her. That thing where he ducks his neck and tilts his head and looks up at her through his hair with that serious, intimate look that makes her want to run because he for sure can see all of her secrets like this but also want to sink deep into that comforting gaze and never leave it. "I don't know where you got this idea that you're not passionate from, but-"

"Yeah, but it's not-!"

"The same?" Eliot cuts off her half-hearted attempt at argument. "Course it's not the 'same' as us, Parker! You aren't us. So, you… you don't lose yourself in it the same way me and Hardison do, okay? Him and me, how we get high off each other, the way we act... so you don't do that. That's fine! That’s only one type of passion, darlin'. You can't tell me,” he lets his hands skim down Parker’s arms until they meet her own palms. “That the way you focus so damn hard on taking us apart - taking me apart…”

Eliot brings Parker’s hands to his hips, and her fingers start to fidget with the hem of his shirt. Anchoring herself with the ribbed texture of the tank. Starting to explore up his stomach the way Eliot knows that Parker knows he likes. She’d ferreted that one out of him ages before they’d even thought up this whole ‘you and we makes three’ train. He lets his voice go a little breathy, a little raspy, makes sure she notices how she's affecting him. “-the way you always know exactly how to do it, piece by piece, single-mindedly pulling me apart like a damn puzzle, Park… you can’t tell me that ain’t some kind of passion.”

“Yeah, but that’s just the same way I steal stuff,” Parker giggles a little, the familiar flutter of Eliot’s sides under her deft fingers grounding her and soothing some of the unease. He’s right about this. How she knows what to do with him. How good she is at it. But that’s not anything special, it’s just-

“Exactly, Parker,” Eliot is trying to walk them back toward the bed, but it’s not really working out well. Between his having only the one boot on and Parker actively seeking out the ticklish bits of his belly that make his knees go all wobbly when she scrapes her nails down them, it’s comical enough to startle another giggle out of her. Or it’s a sob. Or it’s a hiccup. Or it’s some weird combination of all three, she isn’t really sure, but it doesn't seem to really matter either. The sound is whatever it was, just like she is whatever she is.

“It's just like that. Just like how you plan your next score. And that’s your Thing. Like me and food, Hardison and his nerdery... Do you realize how that makes me feel? Knowing you treat me like a heist? Like the thing that you let define you?”

“Yeah but that’s not a sex thing, it’s just a me thing.”

“It doesn’t matter that it’s not a sex thing, Parker, it’s your passion. Your Thing. Yours.” Eliot finally makes it back to the edge of the bed and drops, pulling Parker into his lap. He guides her wandering hands to his chest so she can feel the rumble in his voice as he growls.

“Darlin’, you treat me like damn masterpiece. Like I’m standing smack under a spotlight in the middle of the Louvre, and the only thing in the world that matters to you is how you’re gonna pick through my security piece by piece until all that’s left under your hands is a canvas stretched tight as it’ll go and a picture meant only for you and the people you choose to see it."

Parker’s nails scrape against the skin of Eliot’s collarbone as her fingers instinctively curl in, wanting to grip take steal hold climb, and he barely restrains himself from throwing his head back in a moan. He needs to make sure Parker’s in the right place first, before he gives himself over to his own wants.

“Wow,” she whispers, damn near reverent now as she looks down at him. There’s a dawning in her eyes that tells Eliot they’re alright. That they’re gonna be good. That it’s okay to pull her tighter and ask her to go ahead and steal him again tonight, since he knows her rigging is secure.

"I can't imagine anything more passionate than that."

“Uh-huh, ‘wow' is right,” he laughs breathlessly, and reaches up to take hold of her chin. It’s a light grip, barely any pressure where he between his thumb resting on the front and the rest of his fingers curling around under her jaw, but she lets Eliot guide her down until their lips touch. Not kissing, yet, just touching. His mouth moves against hers as he speaks, tongue briefly darting out to wet two pairs of parched lips. “-so tell me, why the fuck would I want to go to anyone else?”

“Maybe if you got some bad advice,” Parker murmurs, voice strong and confident again for the first time since they wrapped up the con. “From someone who didn’t realize she made you feel that way?”

“Hmmn, that could make sense,” Eliot hums back, resisting the urge to roll up against her in wet jeans that would only serve to chafe rather than provide any of the friction that having Parker in his lap always makes him crave. “If someone could help me get this damn boot off, maybe I could get to work making sure she’ll never forget it?”

#fic writers wait for no production team #leverage #leverage ot3 #eliot spencer #parker #eliot spencer x parker #OT3 established but background due to Redemption's whole plot and also the point being about how two of the 'cule function with one absent

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coffeesuperhero · 4 years

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good morning to all of alec hardison’s social media profiles that he puts together for the many aliases he has with his partners (me and @aimlessglee spent way too much time talking about these and laughing about them so i am sharing them with you, tumblr) (these are just eliot’s, parker’s have to be in a separate post later lol)

alec hardison’s many eliot/hardison alias AU’s (special thanks to @innytoes whose fic is why we were talking about this anyway)

the one where eliot is a mechanic and hardison is the big city lawyer who had car trouble on his way through town

the one where eliot owns a b&b and hardison works for the big brand hotel building a new big property next door

the one where eliot is a michelin star chef and hardison works for a tv network that wants to make him the next celebrity chef

the one where eliot owns a you-pick apple orchard and hardison comes to pick apples with his friends

the one where eliot is a musician who plays his guitar at the farmer’s market and hardison is a handsome young professional buying his organic and local produce

the one where eliot owns a coffee shop/bakery that hardison frequents every day while writing his novel

the one where eliot and hardison are both travel journalists for competing publications

the one where eliot is a christmas tree farmer and—

eliot demands to know a) why these au’s exist??? b) “and why am I a damn christmas tree farmer?”

“First of all, they are aliases, I like to be prepared. Second of all, you are not a Christmas tree farmer,” Hardison says patiently, “Jackson Rydell is a Christmas tree farmer.”

“That’s my face!”

“It’s an alias! Are you Alice White? No!”

“Dammit, Hardison,” Eliot grumbles. “Fine, but why don’t I get any say in these?”

“Feel free to come up with your own,” Hardison says, raising his eyebrows.

2 days later: Eliot’s Alternate List of Alternate Universes That Are Better Than Yours, Hardison

race car driver (“Okay, but where am I or where is Parker in this scenario?” Hardison asks.

“No, that’s the whole thing,” Eliot says. “I’m a race car driver. It doesn’t involve you.”

“Wow. Real romantic, man, you’re really sweeping me off my feet with this one.”)

hardison— first chair violinist for some fancy symphony, eliot— studio musician

(“I need you to explain this one to me,” Hardison says. “I know what a first chair violinist is but how am I supposed to meet—“

“Your fancy symphony needs a guitar player for some reason,” Eliot grumbles.

“What reason would—“

“You figure it out! It’s better than Christmas tree farmer!”

“I’ll have you know that Jackson Rydell and his husband Romain have one of the best meet-cutes in all these AU’s,” Hardison says. “He trips over a strand of tinsel and falls directly into Jackson’s arms.”

“I’ll trip you over some tinsel,” Eliot grumbles.

“And you wonder why I have these AU’s,” Hardison sighs dramatically.)

hardison— nature photographer, eliot— lives?? on a mountain???

(“Lives on a mountain? That’s all I’ve got to go with, here?”

“What else do you need?” Eliot asks.

“A backstory would be nice,” Hardison says.

“What are you, Sophie?”

“I’ll have you know that Sophie knows and loves every one of these,” Hardison says, “especially the one where you’re a Christmas tree farmer.”

“Fine, what do you want to know, exactly?”

“How did I meet you, in this situation?”

“You got lost in the fucking woods and I had to rescue you,” Eliot says, like this is obvious.

“I feel very loved,” Hardison says.

“You shouldn’t,” Eliot tells him, but his eyes are kinda crinkly, so no one believes him

hardison— artist, eliot— art museum curator

(“That one’s my favorite and if you ever remind me I said that, I will set this list on fire,” Eliot tells him.

“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me, baby,” Hardison says.)

#leverage #leverage ot3 #Team Leverage OT3 #hardison x eliot #alec hardison #an angel probably #eliot spencer #two good old married boys

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ot3-watch · 3 years

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Episode 5: The Mile High Job

WHY IS THIS EPISODE 8

FUCK THE NETWORK I’M VERY TIRED

So we’re starting on a client testimony. Which is sad because I kind of like the context establishing scenes

Sophie being French is hilarious

I’m not saying Hardison shouldn’t be able to take off when he needs to. I am saying that MAYBE THEY SHOULD PLAN HEISTS FOR DAYS WHEN THEY ARE A MEMBER SHORT?

Also, why does Hardison not put his food on a plate before he puts it in the microwave. That spinning plate does not get washed nearly enough for that to be sanitary

OK wait did Hardison just flake out? THEN WHY DID THEY NOT POSTPONE?

THEY SHOULD HAVE PLANNED THIS MUCH BETTER

I love Parker being magic and teleporting

The security guards always seem like idiots and tbh, working where I work with the security guards being who they are, I feel like it’s all bullshit and a disservice to security guards.

I love the Doctor WHo references. TOM AND SARAH JANE BAKER YES MA’AM

But also did no one make a Doctor Who comment? Like really. I know Tom Baker is probably a common name but I really want to know what happens when they get a whovian checking their IDs

THe poor flight attendant. That sucks. Can you imagine getting a COMPLETELY fake call that your cat might be put down? I’m sorry, I can’t. Completely innocent people get screwed by them sometimes and I feel bad

Eliot remembers everyone he’s slept with I love him.

THIS POOR FLIGHT ATTENDANT? WHat happens when she comes back and everyone is side eyeing her and being bitchy?

I hate the trope of girlfriends or love interests being overly sensitive about people remembering tiny details. Especially when they aren’t actually together. Especially when it happened years ago. Especially when they hold it against them for the whole episode.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE TERRIBLE MEMORIES OK

Also, this is Nate. It’s a shock he has any brain cells left with how drunk he is 99% of the time. Get OVER yourself Sophie.

PLACE YOUR MASK OVER YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE ok Leverage predicting the future…

Parker being a terrible flight attendant is hilarious

Did I like her in this episode? I think I liked her in this episode

Eliot suffering through economy I can’t

I feel bad for the woman, but like… stop pushing? I know she’s nervous but the flight attendant is trying to do her job. I mean, it’s Parker, but in any normal situation…

Hardison pulls the same “You’re such a racist” bit every time he gets in a sticky situation, and it always works? Can you imagine if he tried to pull that on an actual racist?

Do planes have bars like that? I’ve been on plenty of planes and i’ve never seen a bar like that

Im never in first class though so whatever

OKAY GUYS THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE IS ONE OF THE LIBRARIANS MOVIES

Which means noah wyle exists in the leverage universe.

HOW IS THAT GOING TO WORK WITH THE REBOOT THOUGH?

Unless they just… expected no one to notice? To be fair, it’s not like they focused on it

They probably just needed a movie they could use without securing rights first or running into copyright issues

But still… paradoxes

Eliot just going through a bunch of random people's bags…

HE AND PARKER MOVING AROUND EACH OTHER SO COMFORTABLY THOUGH

THIS IS SEASON ONE WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD TOGETHER ALREADY

I LOVE THEM GUYS

Parker. That’s not reassuring Parker. Parker that’s just terrifying. WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT PARKER?? pARKER?? i’M CONCERNED PARKER!

I really hate Sophie getting mad at nate for this shit. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. It just makes Sophie seem unreasonable and bitchy

OK BUT Hardison and the woman bonding IMMEDIATELY over nerdy gaming is so great

Also i like that they made the other nerd a woman is great

OK but he is not talking nearly silently enough for the ONLY other person in the room to just stop listening to him?

Could you imagine the person you were talking to randomly stops talking, looks upset, and then sticks his head in the cabinet? And starts muttering to himself?

LIKE EITHER HE CAN’T TELL REALITY FROM FANTASY OR HES A SPY

WHY ARE YOU NOT SUSPICIOUS??

He really does pull this shit off really well.

The amount of men in that conference room is oppressive and very realistic ina very sad way

Parker must be in a thief’s paradise

OKAY I REMEMBER NOW AND I DID LIKE PARKER IN THIS EPISODE

“Nobody tells me anything”

THAT’S SUCH A MOOD

Literally the job I’m working in right now is exactly like that

My job is literally to know things and help people and provide them with the information they need

AND STILL I’M ONE OF THE LAST TO FIND THINGS OUT

IT’S VERY FRUSTRATING OK

WHy can I not remember why they’re going after genegrow? Someone died I think? But i cannot remember

“The guy in 1D wants to kill you. Ginger Ale?”

Why is it that all i can think about right now is harry styles and niall horan

I mean I KNOW why but like… why

I LOVE them but why?

WHAT IS THIS OFFICE WOMAN’S NAME I LOVE HER

How does no one question Hardison showing up out of nowhere though?

Im just saying… supposedly it’s “Dave’s” birthday, and they think they should have already known about it? He just started that job on that day?

Unless he’s pretending to have been there forever but even then…

This makes no sense? I’m so confused?

Eliot beating a guy up in an airport bathroom is fantastic

But also you can’t fit one person in a airport bathroom, let alone two

THe view from the top is much smaller than the shots from the side

Parker: the guy we just took out? Eliot: -_- Parker: The guy Eliot just took out?

Sophie always seems so shocked by the inhumanity of some of these people they interact with. Nate’s like “Yeah, people are awful” and Eliot’s like “I see worse all the time” and Parker’s like “Is this meant to be weird or something?” but Sophie’s like “WHAt? Someone wants people DEAD? And might KILL US IN THE PROCESS?”

Is the art theft world just not so violent?

Even hardison doesn’t seem shocked, just upset and offended. Sophie’s always like OoO though and it gets weird?

Now both Eliot AND Nate are fitting in the bathroom? With an already unconscious guy? I’VE BEEN IN AIRPLANE BATHROOMS. THEY AREN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR THAT.

Unless i’m just fat. Which is an option.

Why do people have random wires in their luggage? Who travels with a giant bundle of wires in their luggage?

Oh look. The red head was right. There is a tailwind

OK But THE OXYGEN MASKS CAME DOWN AND NO ONE IS TRYING TO PUT ONE ON?

I know they’re panicking but still

Nate really does just throw things at hardison and then Hardison goes like WHAT I CAN’T DO THIS and then he does it.

HOW is Hardison THAT talented it’s ridiculous

WE all talk about Eliot being hyper-competent in everything when Hardison is literally right there

Not to say that eliot doesn’t deserve attention because he does and I love him

I LOVE ELIOT OKAY

I’m just saying Hardison deserves more credit

HOW DID THEY NOT HIT ANY CARS WHEN THEY WERE LANDING? THERE ARE CARS RIGHT THERE? ANd then there’s suddenly no cars in font of them when they land ? It’s all deserted?

HARDISON IS SO GOOD THOUGH

How did they set up a party for “Dave” so quickly?

WHY DOES NO ONE LOOK TO SEE WHO DAVE WAS YELLING AT?

Everyone is so done with Hardison and honestly? Fair. He might’ve saved them, but he also screwed them over earlier. It came in handy, but still.

I really could not give less of a shit about the Nate Sophie storyline in this episode. In most of season one really. It’s all shitty and annoying

FINAL THOUGHTS: 8/10. Points off for people not acting like people. Points off for the shitty Sophie/Nate stuff. Extra points for Eliot being Eliot. (There will always be extra points for Eliot being Eliot). Extra points for Hardison’s badassery. Extra points because I liked Parker in this episode. Extra points for nerd girl. You go nerd girl. Points off because I literally remember nothing about this episode except for Hardison being awesome, the office scenes, and the fact that there was a plane crash. Why were they on the plane? No idea. Can’t remember.

Sam count: 3/5

IYS count: 2/5 (Am I remembering this wrong? I felt like there were more? Then again, I’m only 5 episodes in)

#leverage #leverage ot3 #leverage rewatch #eliot spencer #parker #alec hardison #nathan ford #sophie devereaux #episode 5 #the mile high job #rewatch #ot3

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faejilly · 4 years

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Let’s Go Steal Some... Magic?

This is entirely the fault of a prompt from the Hunter's Moon Discord: “A Leverage Shadowhunter crossover where Alec gets desperate enough to hire a band of good thieves who’re known for being able to steal back ANYTHING to steal back Magnus’ magic.”

I take no responsibility whatsoever for any of this, but man, I had a great time writing it, so I hope you enjoyed reading it, too 😅 (With an extra thanks to @greentealycheejelly for double-checking it at least sort of made sense.)

Alec knows more about the mundane world than most people realize. He may, in fact, have helped encourage the impression that he's ignorant; it's not like he's been impressed by most of what he knows, so it's easier to just... not deal with it when he doesn't have to.

But there's nothing anyone in the Shadow World can do about this, so maybe... maybe it's time to try something else.

Only he's not sure where to start. He's going to have to ask for help.

Not his favorite thing, but. This is for Magnus. He'd do worse for Magnus.

Lindsay's probably his best bet, she's the one who tracks the bots and AIs that the Clave has keeping as much of an eye on the internet as anyone can manage, hoping to catch those mundanes who might cross the line from figuring out that what they're seeing is because of the Sight, into trying to do something like summoning demons or playing with dark magic.

Her reports on some of the conclusions their machine learning algorithms come up with are sometimes the highlight of his week. He liked the one that tried to figure out which folk songs were based on real adventures with the Seelie and Unseelie Courts versus the ones written by people who'd drank too much or gotten stuck in a cabin in the middle of nowhere for a longer than usual winter.

So he asks her to come see him. She looks, unsurprisingly, deeply nervous when he closes his office door behind her, and he sighs as he sits down in one of the armchairs rather than behind his desk. "I need your help, please."

She doesn't look any comforted by that comment, but she sits across from him, and refrains from either glaring or babbling, so that's something.

"I need." He stops. He's not sure what he needs. "I need to think outside the box, and as the current box is Edom and the entire Shadow World is pretty convinced that that's an impossible box to open—" Alec stops, realizing his metaphors got slightly more tangled than he'd intended. "I think I need someone who is in the know but still mostly mundane, so they're not stuck on the same preconceptions the rest of us are?"

Linday blinks at him. She clearly didn't follow that.

He frowns, but she doesn't get more tense, so at least she figured out he's frowning at himself rather than her.

Clary might have given him multiple migraines and almost as many heart attacks, but she'd barrelled through things he'd thought inviolable just because she didn't know any better, and he could use some of that, right about now.

"Magnus traded his magic to a Greater Demon in order to banish Lilith's demon, and..." He trails off again. And I have to do something about it, but the only thing I can think of is trying to negotiate with said Greater Demon myself and that's a clusterfuck of epic proportions just waiting to happen.

He'll do it, if he has to, he knows this, but that should probably be a last resort, not the first attempt.

"You want to steal it back?" Lindsay's voice cracks half way through the words, and he doesn't blame her, that sounds more insane than anything even Clary would attempt, but...

He hadn't actually framed it that way himself, and he should have. She's probably right, and that is exactly the sort of thinking he needs.

"Do you think that's possible?" He tilts his head, spreads his hands in something that's almost a shrug. "I know there are Sighted thieves, and there's a thriving grey area of mundane and Downworlder interactions with magic that don't usually end up with dead bodies or demons so we don't do anything about them."

Lindsay frowns back at him, but she looks like she's thinking, so he waits.

"Well." She starts, stops again. "There is this hacker..."

Alec blinks. "I don't think the Prince of Edom keeps his stolen magic in a server."

Lindsay snorts, and rolls her eyes at him. "Ha, ha. Sir."

Alec shrugs, and waits.

"There's a warlock, Edda White. She fosters mundane children, usually ones that lost their parents to the Shadow World, or who have the Sight."

"And she's a hacker?" That's an odd combination of jobs, but he supposes it's something one could do from home while keeping an eye on a bunch of presumably traumatized children.

He wonders if there's anything they could do to help her out. Unofficially. Or officially? The Clave really should stop pretending the Shadow World's completely separate from the mundane world, no one believes that.

"No." Lindsay shakes her head. Pauses. "Well, yes, but she's not the hacker I was thinking of, I meant one of her kids."

"If said kid's already in the Shadow World, that's defeating my outside of the box request." He's not really trying to argue with her, he's just not sure where she's going.

"Sir." Lindsay levels a stare at him. It's not as good as the ones his mother or sister can pull off, but it's not half bad.

"Sorry."

Lindsay nods, and adjusts her glasses. "He's Sighted, and he's active on some of the forums the Clave tracks, helps people find resources or contacts, which is how I know about him, but he works in the mundane world. With a team of thieves who have pulled off some really impossible jobs."

"Edom impossible?"

"No, but you said you needed some creative thieves, and they're arguably the best in this world." That is something the Clave would know, just because the few truly occult artifacts the mundane world knows about tend to be expensive, so they attract the attention of the worst sorts of people and the best sorts of thieves... who then attract the attention of the Clave, to make sure no one actually tries to use the things they've stolen. "It's a place to start."

Alec nods. It is, and that's all he asked for; he hopes it's enough. "What's his name?"

Lindsay shrugs. "No idea, but I do know how to get a message to his team. They've an open call out for people who need help and don't have anywhere else to turn."

Alec feels his lips twitch with reluctant amusement. "That certainly fits this situation, doesn't it."

Lindsay concedes with a small nod. "I'll reach out, and let you know what they say."

"Thank you."

She nods again, slightly less smoothly, as if she's not sure what to do with gratitude, though he's not sure if it's because it's him personally or the Head of her Institute in general, and slips away to get to work.

Alec closes his eyes, and lets out a sigh, and tries to hold onto the flicker of hope in his chest.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe this is what he needs; maybe this is what Magnus needs.

Please.

***

Hardison blinks at the email he just opened.

He double checks the sender's address, and IP, and everything else he can think of to confirm it's not somehow a joke or a scam or something, but as far as he can tell by every test he can think up, it's genuine.

Leverage just got a fucking email from a Nephilim. On behalf of the goddamned Head of the New York Institute.

He pokes his computer screen, as if that'll make it disappear or something.

It doesn't.

Which is probably good, he's Sighted, not a warlock, if he started making the world change outside of a computer, he'd be in deep shit.

The email's surprisingly straightforward, in contrast to their usual potential clients, the Shadow World in general, and everything he's ever heard about Shadowhunters in particular. Shadow Hunters? Shadowhunters? He's not sure he's ever had to write that word out, he wonders which is considered proper grammar.

Holy shit, he's distracting himself with grammar.

He calls his Nana.

"I got an email about Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane."

"Fuck."

Hardison pulls his phone away from his head and stares at it for a moment before he can handle that. "Did you just swear at me?"

"Not at you, baby." He can practically hear her roll her eyes at him. "I was old enough to swear before your grandma was a gleam in her daddy's eyes, and you know it."

Yes, but you don't, Hardison almost says out loud, not around your babies, you don't, but he swallows it down. "Some Nephilim is asking for help from us, from my team. Do you think it's legit?"

She hums, some melody he's never been able to track down or place, never heard from anywhere or anyone else, and he's glad that that's normal at least. Nana's thinking noise is exactly what he hears in his head whenever he's trying to crack a particularly tough system.

"I do. New York's gone through some shit, and I've heard some rumours about Magnus..." She trails off. "Lightwood's reputation is pretty solid, I think he'd stretch those Nephilim Laws as far as he could, if he thought it was worth it."

"Should I take the meeting then?"

Nana pauses, but she doesn't hum this time. She's not thinking, she wants to make sure he is. "You'd have to tell your team what sort of meeting it really is."

Hardison's whole body tenses up along with his face as he scrunches his eyes as closed as he can get them. He wonders if Parker and Eliot really are part-fae, like he's always thought. They've both got more than a touch of the other when he looks at them out of the corner of his eyes, and it would certainly explain how hard they are to injure, how easily they lean into each other's space, as if they've never before found someone that makes some weird sixth sense relax.

Then again, he loves them enough it might just be his own aura sparking in the way.

He wonders, if they are just a little magic, if either of them know, and just don't think they can tell him.

He wonders if they'll be mad to realize he's kept a secret from them all these years, or if they'll be hurt.

"Yeah," he sighs, and opens his eyes back up. "Don't suppose I could get a family dinner to help uh... illustrate my point?"

Nana laughs, but it's sharper sounding than usual. "If New York's as messed up as I've heard you don't have much time. Tonight good?"

Damn.

This is clearly more serious than he'd thought, and he wonders what he's missed, busy focusing on his mundane life rather than the Shadow World.

"I guess it has to be. Thanks."

Nana doesn't bother to say anything else before she hangs up on him.

He turns around, and no he does not scream, that was just a gasp, and Parker and Eliot are in the doorway, both of them staring at him.

Check mark in the supernatural column.

He smiles at them.

They don't smile back.

Hey guys, want to meet my Nana, the centuries old warlock who taught me how to see demons so they wouldn't eat me?

Yeah. That's gonna go over well.

"Don't suppose either of you believe in magic?"

Eliot does that thing where he's not frowning but is really obvious about how he's refraining from frowning so it actually feels worse than if he'd just scowled at you. "You mean science we can't explain yet, or actual magic?"

Hardison tilts his head and hands with an eh maneuver. "Vampires and werewolves and fairies, oh my?"

Parker shrugs. "Archie always said he thought I was a changeling, does that count?"

Hardison shakes his head, and sees Eliot frown for real, and knows they both wish they'd been harder on Archie when they had him in their sights. "Yes, but that's a terrible thing for him to have said."

"Why?" Parker comes into the room proper to perch on the edge of the table extending out from his desk. "If it's the truth?"

"Because he didn't think it was true," Eliot answers, his voice low and rough. "He was using it to pretend it was okay for him not to take care of you."

Parker rolls her eyes; they've had this argument before. "But if he'd tried, I wouldn't have realized how much better at it you are."

Eliot jerks, like his whole body just tried to shut-down. Hardison can't even appreciate how remarkable that is, because he's too busy feeling his brain stutter right in sync.

"What?" Parker did that are you being stupid or did I make less sense than usual? face of hers, eyes a little squinty and shoulders just starting to hunch.

"Thank you, baby girl." Hardison manages, before she thinks it's the second. "I'm still gonna be mad at him for not trying though."

She frowns, as if she thinks that's dumb, but shrugs, clearly having decided that that's just the way it is. "So does that mean you think he was right, even though he didn't know it?"

"Uh." Hardison does a whole body shrug, because he's not sure why he ever thinks his conversations with these two are gonna go the way he intends. "I have no idea, but it wouldn't surprise me? You're uh. Better at things than most humans. You both are."

"Huh." Eliot says, but not like he disagrees. "But neither of us have a problem with steel or cold iron or whatever it is."

Hardison stares at him.

"What." Eliot stares back, and Hardison can't tell if he's fucking with him on purpose or not. Damn Eliot and his poker face.

"Did you say that because you know things, or because you read fairy tales when you can't sleep?"

Eliot's face looks like he wants to say damnit Hardison but doesn't want to give Hardison the satisfaction.

"Second one, got it."

"Kindaalwaysthoughtitwasaliensanyways." Eliot mutters.*

Hardison is pleased to note that Parker joins him in giving Eliot the look.

Eliot crosses his arms in front of his chest, and looks back, and Hardison sighs. He's right, they don't have time for that right now. "We are revisiting this," Hardison says, pointing at Eliot. "But first we're going to Nana's for dinner."

Parker actually literally squeaks, and he can't tell if she's excited or nervous. "Is she a fairy too?"

"No, and they prefer Seelie or Unseelie, depending on which Court they were born into, but you know, that's a whole separate thing we also don't have time for right now. Nana is a warlock which means she can do magic and she's immortal which I know sounds like more fairy things because they are practically immortal and also do magic, but I swear it's not."

It's his turn to be getting the look from both of them, and he stops. Starts again. "So. Uh. Demons? Totally a thing?"

Eliot sighs, and finally stops lurking as his shoulders relax into something more like at-home-Eliot rather than working-Eliot. "You made a multi-media presentation, didn't you?"

Hardison opens his mouth, and shuts it again. He did, like three different times, and he keeps deleting it and starting over, but he supposes that might be one way to go in order without thinking about Nana swearing and the email and trying to jump to angels are real and angel-blooded people kill demons and the Head of the New York Institute wants our help! before that means anything to anyone.

"Ooh." Parker sits up straighter. "Should I go get some popcorn?"

"Why not." Hardison can't help the smile, doesn't even try. "We'll have a proper briefing in five."

***

Magnus is not entirely sure why Alec invited him to his office, it's not like I can help with missions anymore, and seeing Alec sitting on the edge of his desk wringing his hands when he walks in the door doesn't calm his nerves any.

"Magnus!" Alec looks up, and his smile's not any more comforting than the wringing hands were.

"You're here."

"You asked me to be here." Magnus offers, and makes himself walk further into the office. He's not sure what else to say, and just lifts an eyebrow in Alec's general direction.

Alec shrugs, and bites his lip as he shifts his weight, and then suddenly his tension melts away and he's standing at parade rest and oh, whatever this is, it's clearly important. "I did."

Magnus holds up one finger, turns around to close and lock the door behind him, and faces Alec again.

Alec offers him a crooked almost smile, much more sincere than the last one, and the tension between Magnus' shoulder-blades eases a little, though it definitely doesn't go away. "I have a potentially terrible idea, but it's for you, so it's your choice to make, not mine."

Oh.

Magnus considers that, nods to himself, and goes to sit on the couch. He lifts his head, and makes himself meet Alec's eyes. "All right."

"I want to hire some... consultants, to see if there's a way to get your magic back without having to try and make another deal with Asmodeus."

Magnus doesn't move. He doesn't even blink. If he had his magic he'd probably blow up the chair next to him. "No."

Alec's shoulders slump. "Magnus."

"No." Magnus stands up, his hands clenched and his jaw too tight and he wants to scream, but he doesn't. "Asmodeus is too dangerous."

"And he's going to be less dangerous later if with your magic he can overthrow Lilith while she's still weak from the Mark of Cain?" Alec's voice is quiet, but even so Magnus can barely hold in the wince. "Do you really think he'll be more inclined to stay quietly in his own Realm without interfering with the rest of us if she's no longer there to keep him in check?"

Magnus swallows, refuses to think about the things he did at his father's side the last time Asmodeus freely wandered around Earth. "You said this was for me."

"It is!" Alec's voice and hands lift, and then he stops, his arms drop. He's holding himself so tightly it looks like he's a breath away from shattering. "I would sacrifice anything to help you Magnus, just like you did to stop Lilith, to save Jace, but that doesn't mean helping you isn't also doing my job."

Magnus can't move, can barely breathe.

He exhales, long and slow, and closes his eyes.

He can't argue that, because if he did, it would make everything he'd done to save Jace, to stop Lilith, all of it, for nothing. They can't let either Lilith or Asmodeus take over Edom without the other, can't afford the risk of that much power being concentrated in one person. Demon.

Monster.

Magnus opens his eyes again, and somehow Alec can tell, Alec can always tell, and he's right there, reaching out to cup Magnus' jaw in his warm hands before kissing him, soft and sweet. "Thank you."

Magnus huffs out a breath, and leans in to rest against the warmth of Alec's chest. "Thank you. So who are these... consultants then?"

"Um." Magnus tilts his head enough to look at Alec, who's looking at the ceiling as if too embarrassed to meet Magnus' gaze. He rolls his lips in tight, then pops his mouth open and sighs. "Thieves?"

"What." Magnus steps back, so he can glare properly. And also enjoy the way Alec's squirming, because it's not often Alexander gets tongue-tied around him anymore, and if he's going to go through with this insanity, he might as well try and get some enjoyment out of it. "You. Want to steal my magic back?"

"I mean, that seems slightly more likely than negotiating it out of a Greater Demon?" Alec shrugs, and rubs the back of his neck, and his mouth twists before his whole body sags with a sigh. "I don't know, but I certainly don't know how to get it back without risking Asmodeus pulling one over on us, do you?"

"But you think your thieves might?" Magnus can't help it, his voice cracks.

"Not my thieves." Alec shrugs again. "Lindsay found them, and Edda White said she could portal them to us whenever we come to an agreement on a meeting time and place."

"Edda?" He stops again. Edda, who fosters mundane children and likes to play with computers and has the weirdest running bet with Catarina about the stupid excuses they've used to convince mundanes that the magic they just saw wasn't really magic... "Mundane thieves?"

"Well, anyone in the Shadow World would start already convinced that it was impossible, wouldn't they?"

Magnus can't argue with that, either, and this is the weirdest conversation he's possibly ever had, and that's saying something, considering the number of times he's been high or drunk and determined to not let it stop him from doing... well. Anything. "Huh," is all he manages. "That. Almost makes sense."

Alec grins. "I know, weird, huh."

Magnus' chest aches, because oh, he hasn't seen that sort of look on Alec's face since they found out about Jace, before Magnus went to Edom, before he lost...

Before they lost so much.

Magnus laughs, and Alec's grin widens, a glint in his eyes as if he's as delighted and surprised as Magnus is to realize they're both actually looking forward to this. "Let's go meet some thieves."

#shadowhunters #leverage #jilly writes #hmdiscord #malec #ot3: 'til my dying day #my sh fic #* Eliot was on a stargate team #that's practically canon!

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cakeandpi · 3 years

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Breanna!! major spoilers below

I love that Parker is trying and failing miserably at teaching thief skills because she doesn’t know how to teach this particular student yet.

Harry’s first Leverage-client meeting! And Parker upset that Sophie is taking back the lead, a role that Parker isn’t ready to entirely hand over to Sophie.

Also poor Breanna, she thought she did well on the ‘follow the money’ but came up waaaay short. It’s like showing up for the first class of college thinking it’s just going to go over the syllabus except per the professor’s email there’s already homework due.

Oooh, game of nose-goes? What’s the role that Harry’s going to play that the other’s didn’t want? It can’t just be to avoid playing Sophie’s fake-husband.

“I’ve lose track of the marraiges but I only had one husband.” Where’s my fanfic of all the women Sophie married in her past?

Hahahahaha Breanna managed to pickpocket Harry but she got pickpocketed by Parker. And I love the explanation of “I’m Parker”.

“Get him with a misdemeanor.” Oh Breanna Breanna Breanna. Those can be bribed out of. And oof, Harry’s a bit mean about the whole ‘they don’t care and bribe their way out of trouble’ bit, meanwhile Eliot is very matter of fact. I hope Brianna finds her footing pretty soon.

"I assume it’s rather difficult to rob a casino in general?”/“Eh, kinda.” LMAO PARKER. Also!! Did the Leverage writers finally get to write their casino heist story?

That ‘clothes in trashbags from couch to couch’ sounds like something’s Breanna’s done. Felt a little too throw-away-y for it to not be from her past.

“Hardison used to get me the job. And sometimes, a 401(k).” AMAZING. I love this detail.

Etouffee and jambalaya Brick&Basil truck! “The crescent city’s best local food truck” I love that little sign on the side.

“Huh. I couldn’t find the ‘Get Eliot a 401(k)’ section in the manual.” Omg the manual referenced earlier is for Leverage-thievery-stuff, not just hacking stuff. And of course Hardison would leave a (15 volume) manual for his little sister.

"You can’t plan a grift with a flow chart.” You can if you’re Parker and the flow chart is flexible enough.

“Parker, are you using a flow chart for all your interactions?” Oh no. But at the same time, a sideways callback to how Sophie was using grifting tricks on the team/Nate just because she could.

Parker does a great southern bell accent.

“Renegade. That’s what they used to call me on the job.” Amazing.

“I didn’t put police on your resume!” Oh Brianna, there’s all sorts of reasons someone would leave a job off a resume, he’s just gotta go with one that’s not “it was too long ago”

“Where were you stationed?” Hm, and this is for a casino job? Shreveport. Has to be.

I’M RIGHT

“I don’t miss.” You are going to miss, that’s definitely a Special Disc. And... he misses.

Chaudry’s an attractive looking bad guy.

Parker and cereal!

Oh and Breanna can’t stand the temptation. Also that pearl for whatever reason looks fake, though that might be because I’m more used to fake pearls.

I bet Old Cop’s spreadsheet is gonna be important later.

“I told you not to do it.”/“You would’ve.” Yeah but Parker would have waited, not gone for it right then and there. But Parker doesn’t feel the need to prove herself. Breanna does.

And Sophie keeps it from spiraling out of control by being very matter of fact - they’ve all messed up, but Breanna’s mess up makes her recognizable, so she’s off the front lines for the con.

Breanna leaves out of frustration, only none of the three others notice. Hm. Is she going to go get into some more trouble? Oh, no, she’s gone to be alone out in their hideout’s courtyard.

“Let me guess, you’ve come to make me feel better.”/“Oh, I think I’d be about the worst person in the world for that job.” At least Harry knows his strengths and comforting others is not one of them.

“Oh, poor baby, all you have is money and good looks and privilege and access.” Ah, this is not just about having to be sidelined for this con.

“And what about you, seems like you could do just about anything and all of its scary, what do you want?” And Breanna’s obviously feeling a bit down on herself, but rather than follow her into that mood Harry turns it around on her, pointing out that she is ridiculously talented and can do a lot of things, she just needs to decide what she wants to do with those skills. Does she just want to fool around and mess up and have fun? Does she want to work? Does she want to laze about? Does she want to improve on the skills she has? Does she want new skills? Because each one of those takes her on a different trajectory with Leverage and the team.

“I want the world to stop sucking. ... This team, it says it can make a difference. Okay, fine. I’ll give it a shot. Because I love my brother, and because I’m desperate, not because I believe in hope or something stupid like that.” I love her character motivation speech here.

I’m laughing at Parker getting frustrated because she can’t hide the money fast enough. And then she figures out a way, but they’ll have to make the dress bigger. (Oh, are they going to get the client involved with the dress design? That’d be cool!) And Parker and Sophie have a little talk about how Breanna wants to impress and that Parker’s going to have to teach her. And a reference to how the og team helped everyone on the team get better.

Now that is an amazingly poofy dress. I love it.

They did get the client involved with the dress alterations!! Yes!!

Eliot and Old Cop having cake together. And that’s gotta be some good cake with Eliot genuinely complimenting him.

Oh dear, Parker’s flowchart is getting caught because she’s sticking to it a little to hard, not letting it flow around her. It feels like she should be better at this though, with the 10-odd years that she’s had to do this without Sophie. But this might be more her falling back into old patterns, just like Sophie falling into patterns on leading the cons.

Ooh okay these guys are in on the con. Wait I should know these people?? I... don’t think so but maybe?

Flounce, flounce, kick

Oof. Too much money to carry out. Way too much. And Russian mob. (Is it a very distinctive tattoo Eliot?)

Okay the con’s gone off the rails, so it has to be rescued somehow. Breanna’s figured out a way (“did the math twice”) though everyone waits for Parker’s okay to go through with it. I don’t know exactly what it is - sink the vault into the river? Plant it on various gamblers? Make it seem like Chaundry was stealing from himself? But it rests on Breanna being right and not just showing off. But Parker’s seen that when Breanna’s under pressure - not fake 'practice’ pressure, the real stuff - she can perform, its just when she’s trying to impress that she fails.

“You cut your way through an ice cave. You escaped a gorilla enclosure. And you catered a wedding for the mob.”/“It wasn’t catering. It was a food sensory experience.” Is that a reference back to season one? If not, I really want to know more about that not-catering job!

Oh no!! Old Cop took a hit for Eliot. And as soon as the mafia goon is taken out, Eliot takes time to make sure Old Cop is all right. (If they mess up the con, the family loses the house but they can if needed con Chaundry again and get the house back. If Old Cop dies they can’t get him back.)

Okay Breanna at least has to know the baddies see real camera footage again, right? And Eliot seemed to almost deliberately not-quite look at the camera. They’ve got to be counting on the bad guys finding out and hitting the emergency lock.

All the money’s gone! But... how? Did Parker take Eliot with her into a vent? Fake wall?

Oh sir you are not good enough to accuse Sophie of having conned you without her turning it right back around on you. And she gets a one-person gloat too.

Lol and the pearl is gone.

Squish? Oho. They went through the floor and down the river.

Aww, Breanna’s joined Eliot on the ‘receiving end of Parker’s too-hard physical affection’.

“That was ... my cake, Parker! He made it special for me!” Methinks Eliot doth protest too much about him and Old Cop not being friends.

“I want to take on the bad guys. I have to learn everything.” ‘Have to’ is an interesting choice.

“Parker. My first memory is of 9/11.” Whereas that’s my.... 9th? 10th? grade math-class memory. Breanna's grown up in a very different world from Parker and Hardison - probably Eliot’s background is closest to hers.

And.... Parker how did you steal that pearl? Is this an exercise left to the viewers or a bit of ‘it’s tv, we’re having fun’? (Or both!)

#leverage redemption spoilers #leverage spoilers #spoilers #redemption 1x03

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leverage-commentary · 4 years

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Leverage Season 2, Episode 7, The Two Live Crew Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

Dean: Hi, I’m Dean Devlin, Executive Producer and Director of this episode of Leverage.

Amy: Hi, I’m Amy Berg, Supervising Producer and Writer of this episode.

John: John Rogers, Executive Producer and Co-Writer of this episode. Hold on. [Opens bee.] There we go.

[Laughter]

Dean: The beer has been opened.

John: The Guiness has been opened. Amy Berg where did this episode come from?

Amy: Well, I mean, when you have a show about a team of con men sort of- one of the first episodes that you think of is-

John: Yeah, it was like one of the first ones we broke- we talked about last season-

Amy: What happens when they go up against another team of con men? And obviously that's not something you really wanna, sort of, pull the trigger on during season one, so we sort of sat on it for a bit.

Dean: But we talked about it a lot in season one.

Amy: We did talk about it.

John: Yeah. But really you have to have your- part of the fun is having your characters and opposition- of people that make a difference, having the opposition of you need to know the characters really well.

Amy: You need to learn who our people are before we can bring in a new set of people.

John: Yeah, so it was a lot of fun putting together the different combinations and different variations on this- the evil team of evil Leverage.

Amy: Loves it.

John: Why the Gustav Klimt?

Amy: The Gustav Klimpt, now you're testing me and it's been a while, I believe this painting was called Higeia and it was technically destroyed by the Nazis in 1945. And it was sort of a choice to pick a painting that wasn't actually in existence, so we weren’t stepping on anybody's toes, saying that this was a stolen painting.

John: The likeless- the equivalent of likeness rights on paintings is an enormous pain in the ass so as a matter of fact, there's a statue of Lincoln in the park that's in the sequence later that we shot and then we had to get the rights to using that statute, even in the background.

Dean: Yeah.

John: Now that's very tricky stuff. Dean tell us about the fun of shooting this.

Dean: Well we wanted to try and keep perpetual motion and show two different attempts. Our team, which tries to do a low tech break in through basically just cutting through a wall through this cheapo office behind the high tech office, and then the daring team that actually chases the bullet head on.

John: Yeah. And there is our villain, Griffin.

Amy: Griffin Dunne.

John: Exactly.

Dean: I've wanted to work with Griffin my whole life. I remember seeing him in An American Werewolf Through London and just falling madly in love with this guy; I just thought he was amazing. And then when we went to do this episode, it was actually Tim Hutton who said, ‘What do you think about my pal Griffin Dunne playing this part?’ And it was just like a gift from heaven.

John: Oh yeah, we are all over that. And this is a lot of fun and we built a fake wall- And that is Tim's assistant, correct?

Amy: That’s that’s Elle, yeah.

John: That's Elle, Tim’s assistant, in her big screen debut with us tormenting her.

Amy: Indeed. And they're playing detectives Marlow and Archer who, as you know, is an homage to both Raymond Chandler and Ross Macdonald.

John: That's right.

Dean: And there's fun outtakes from that which will be in the gag reel.

Amy: Excellent. This should have a lot of gag reel footage.

John: It's also- to tell you what's weird is, Archer actually-

Amy: Was the name of Tim Spades partner in [mumbles]?

John: That's right. That's what the original reference was. That’s also Ross Mcdonald.

Amy: But Ross Mcdonald was inspired by that character in order.

John: Really?

Amy: Yeah.

John: I didn't know that. There you go.

Dean: Fans of the show In Treatment should know that this actress, Noa Tishby, is actually the Executive Producer of In Treatment on HBO.

John: That's right Noa is an Israli actress, she was in Israel, she saw the original show, she dug in, got the rights herself, brought it to America, and wound up executive producing the American version.

Amy: By the way, that's Wil Wheaton.

[Laughter]

Amy: Which is so awesome. And who cast Will Wheaton in this episode, John Rogers?

John: Well I technically cast him, but I believe you had the idea of hiring Wil Wheaton because I'm the one who actually signed the papers.

Amy: Thank you, I appreciate the credit on that.

John: Yes.

Dean: And I was so happy because Wil Wheaton and I actually used to play on the same hockey team together.

Amy: That's right.

Dean: And this was back when he was on Star Trek. And I was dumb enough to allow him to play goalie at the time and-

[Laughter]

Dean: And [Unintelligible]’s son took a slapshot that cracked his helmet open and gave him 17 stitches across the forehead.

Amy: You helped break Wil Wheaton's face.

Dean: And the producers of Star Trek called me screaming at me and forbidding me to ever allowing him to play on the team again.

Amy: Nice. Dogs Playing Poker, by the way, totally public domain. That’s why we chose that one.

John: There you go, there's a lot of variations of that, too, that’s right. And this is actually our little slam is not a part of the subtle on a lot of the CBS crime shows; just the sort of horrible-

Amy: Yeah, the over the top-

John: When we created Leverage, one of the reasons we did it was because so many shows were chasing serial killers. I think it was Chris Downey who said, ‘You know what? Serial killers are covered. Let’s chase rich white dudes in suits.’

Amy: I think they're done.

John: There's only ever been 10 and they've been caught 100 times. And that was Apollo Robbins. This is a great- this is one of Dean's signature roundy-rounds. And I was saying the other day-

Dean: An amazing steadicam shot.

John: I was saying the other day, we've actually learned in the writers room how to assign dialogue to make this easier.

Amy: Yeah.

[Laughter]

John: So rather than rewriting on the fly-

Amy: -we write towards the circle track.

John: Cause you can actually see. It goes- it's like triple play: it goes to Beth to Aldis to Chris to Tim and then back around again.

Amy: I love Parker; there’s always- always something secret going on, whether its secret nazis or-

John: Yeah well, we kind of establish it in The Day of the Hunter Job, Parker’s realm of knowledge outside of stealing is not good.

[Laughter]

John: Like, anything that doesn't involve stealing, she will believe it if the other team members tell her. Oh this is great. I remember we shot this day. Dean, tell us about this bit.

Dean: Well this was one where we actually went full circle because we came in, we rehearsed it one way and it felt really good, but then we started to feel like, ‘Gosh we're not doing enough.’ And so then we reblocked the entire scene so we could all do more and have more happen, and then we all paused and went, ‘You know, the first one was much better.’

[Laughter]

Dean: And that's what we went with.

John: Yup. What I think was part of what was driving that was because I was on set that day, ‘Do not touch the motion sensitive bomb.’

Amy: Thank you.

John: Was the fact that this was gonna be Gina's last episode, full day with the cast- And also, she really dug in on the fact that the character was going to die and it genuinely upset the cast. Like the cast was a little freaked out here; they got way- cause this is a very claustrophobic set, very claustrophobic scene. The way we usually shoot is we shoot longer takes. So we do the whole thing, like we’ve shot entire acts in one take at some point.

Dean: That's true.

Amy: Yeah. By the way, this bit with the pudding, I've known John for two years and this is the only time I've ever turned him on.

[Laughter]

Amy: I wrote this bit, and he read the act and he came in and he burst into my office and was like ’hahaha’.

John: Remember you didn’t use it you; had talked about it and-

Amy: That’s true. That’s true. I brought it up in dialogue, but I didn't actually employ it. They didn’t- Parker didn't actually use it.

John: I actually kicked in the door- the only time I’ve yelled at you-

Amy: Yeah, he yelled at me.

John: I kicked in the door and said, ‘How do you come up with instant pudding in a motion sensitive bomb and not actually use it?’ And so we had- and Parker, we had Parker do it. There's a lot of great acting in here, there's a lot of Gina digging in on, sort of, Sophie's past catching up with her. Hardison-

Amy: But this is a scene where it’s really easy to overwrite it, because your instinct is sort of to write to the emotion of this scene like Sophie could die. But the point is to underwrite and let your actors find the emotion between the lines.

John: That beat right there with Chris and Gina.

Amy: Yes.

John: There's a very nice recurring thing we try to do, which is, whenever it becomes something about killing someone, they go to Eliot because Eliot- because Eliot used to do that. And there's a nice moment there. I was actually there- oh look at that look. I love that look. Where-

Amy: Emotion between the lines.

John: Where basically Eliot signs off on the fact that she's probably gonna die and Gina and Eliot worked that out and it's just a lovely moment. Ahhh this is great, now how did we do this?

Amy: Gina just knocks this out of the park.

Dean: So Gina was very pregnant at the time, so we had to do a double for the wide shots, for the running, and Gina for the closeups.

John: Yeah, and then this is a miniature.

Dean: That's right. Well, the building is the actual building we shot at, but the explosion is a miniature that we shot at our parking lot that we digitally composited on top of it. Now at the time, people didn't know what we were gonna do with Gina's character because Gina was pregnant. So when we did this scene and we aired this episode a lot of people were really upset at this point because they actually thought we had killed her off of the show.

Amy and John: Yeah.

Dean: And early Twitters were very upset.

Amy: Were not favorable.

John: Were very angry.

[Laughter]

Dean: How could you kill her off the show? But then-

Amy: This was originally intended to be the midseason finale, which in that case, the fans would definitely think for sure she was gonna be gone for a while or forever.

John: Yep.

Amy: But we ended up adding two episodes to the end of the midseason run, so we did get to see her again.

Dean: I don't know what it is exactly, but for me, Parker’s performance- or Beth’s performance as Parker in this section here is reminiscent of some of the great comedians.

Amy: Yeah.

Dean: Because it's so subtle what she's doing. And a lot of this came out of Beth herself who said -

Amy: I rewrote this scene based on Beth's notes that you were so kind to give me, and it sort of- it made the scene like 10 times better. I don't even remember what it was originally, but-

John: She's trying to remember what her lines are to say as Parker and her eyes roll up like ‘what am I supposed to say’ and then she gets freaked out at seeing Gina dead and loses it.

John: And then she totally spirals out.

Amy: There's a lot going on in, like, 20 seconds; it's pretty funny.

John: And then Hardison having to go up and bail her out. And again, there's a lot of- there's a lot of stuff going on in the structure this year with Gina leaving, and just for that tempering and having us to accelerate that storyline- There's a lot of Hardison/Parker relationship stuff between the lines on all the shows, we just never made it an A plot, but you can actually see the relationship evolve over the course of the season, when you watch the entire season particularly, the second half. And of course Chris is wearing a bandana under his hat because that's when he had slammed his head onto the set.

Dean: In the previous episode.

John: Exactly.

Amy: Yeah, he’s got a giant scar on his forehead right now.

John: Beautiful cemetery up on a big hill in Portland, nice enough to let us shoot there. Beautiful, gorgeous location. And that's a nice bit of acting, too.

Dean: Yeah, just the little moment of him seeing her and then getting that shock of losing someone that he cares about.

John: Yeah, and just processing.

Amy: So far you've pointed out that your favorite moments are the ones where there's no dialogue, so I'm glad I could contribute to that.

[Laughter]

John: Well you wrote- no no, that’s right, I usually go back and write the stage directions, but you do a lot of the-

Amy: This- and so it begins, when John makes fun of me throughout the commentary.

John: I don't make fun of you, just when you take too much credit.

[Laughter]

Dean: This is the controversy.

Amy: I was taking no credit!

Dean: In this scene, the gravestone says Cathrine Klive, her actor name, and at the end Sophie Deveraux and a lot of people thought that was actually a mistake, but why don't you address that?

John: Well we were really- it comes up in the end. We really wanted- and this is sort of a meta structural thing - she wants to kill Sophie Deaveraux. She realizes Sophie Deveraux as an identity, as a life, is a dead end, and so she changes the tombstone so that she can eventually give up that identity. And it's interesting because what Sophie is- realized is that she's going down a dead end, and in theory she’s the current criminal and Nate is the honest man. Nate is also going down a dead end, but he's way too obsessive and blind to realize it.

Amy: Yeah.

John: And so by the end of the season, you’ll see Sophie is a lot more emotionally evolved than Nate is.

Amy: It's true. This is sort of the beginning of Nate’s spiral where-

John: Yeah, maybe the end of Sophie’s thing.

Amy: His priority shifts and, like, winning becomes more important than servicing the clients.

John: We just sort of tease in 206. Great scene between Griffin and- really that was kind of fun. Once we knew we had Griffin Dunne, a lot of these scenes became, ‘Alright, it's really just gonna be head to head.’

Amy: Yeah, yeah.

John: Yeah. It's just- we’re just gonna have the two of them- And the fact that they're friends was really helpful.

Amy: And this the promise of the premise when you do a crew vs crew episode. What you are promising to the audience is you're gonna have one-on-one faceoffs between the characters and their counterparts.

John: And this is part of the evolution of writing an episode, is when we were breaking this, we had a really hard time getting that up as fast as possible, and that's what you wound up- doing the inner cut break in at the opening. Because even though they weren't facing off at each other, we gave the audience the promise of the premise.

Amy: Yes.

John: And the beautiful Hyundai Genesis. A fine automobile.

Amy: A fine, fine vehicle.

Dean: Beautiful peel out.

John: It was nice. In a cemetery!

[Laughter]

John: There was a moment where I was talking to one of the actors, I looked down and realized I was standing on a civil war veteran’s grave. That was a little disturbing.

Amy: That’s classy Rogers.

Dean: I absolutely love the little makeup and hair choices of Gina in this scene, it's so 40’s noir.

John: Yes.

Amy: Yeah, yeah the hair.

John: The whole episode she's playing 40’s noir. And it was a really interesting look, and not one we can do a lot because of the characters she's played, but this was interesting; she's not playing a character ever in this episode except in the opening.

Dean: Right.

John: I kind of liked her in the cop outfit.

Amy: It's one of my favorite running gags in the entire series of the show. Parker just not entirely buying that Gina’s actually alive.

John: Yeah.

[Laughter]

Amy: ‘I'm not dead!’

John: Some part of her brain understands it, but the emotional center is so screwed up.

Amy: ‘I saw her in a coffin, ergo, she must be, in fact, dead.’

John: This is also great, is digging in on the fact that the whole ex-boyfriend/crew/guy who runs the crew she used to be with. And for a while, for like a minute and a half in the room, remember that character was Sophie's boyfriend for the whole first half of the season and this was gonna be the payoff, but we just never knew if we were gonna get the availability for that actor and we just couldn't risk it. And it also seemed a little dishonest she would hide that, so.

Dean: I love the Hardison line, ‘You saw other teams before us?’

[Laughter]

Amy: ‘No, just another Nate.’

John: ‘Just another Nate.’ That's- yes, this is a big family beat of looks back and forth.

Amy: Lots of looks.

John: Now how did you- I remember you were very, Dean, very big into designing the other team’s headquarters.

Dean: Yeah, well I really wanted to feel like a mirror of our headquarters. But in a believable way in that they don't have permanent space so they’re in a small space. But I was trying to mirror even screen direction-wise that one team is looking left-right the other team is looking right-left so that we can really feel like these are absolute mirror images of each other.

John: Yeah even the looks left-right and right-left match.

Dean: That’s right.

John: Yeah, no it's interesting. And there's Apollo Robbins, who we haven't mentioned yet.

Amy: Apollo Robbins! Yes, he's our technical consultant on the show. He is a master thief. But not anymore, he's a good guy now. I feel like I should point that out.

John: Yes we should. You can't hire him to do crimes.

Amy: When I say consultant, I mean he's not actually a thief anymore.

John: This is also great; this is also the Mona Lisa scam. Why don’t you explain the Mona Lisa scam since you’re a research freak?

Amy: Oh great, now I’m-

John: 1911.

Amy: Yes, 1911 there was a con man, I don't remember his name, but someone says it I think in this scene, where he created six forgeries of the Mona Lisa, stole the original, and then sold the six fakes on the black market to individual buyers as though they were the original and got six times the profit.

John: Some con and heist shows will just do that plot and act like they came up with it. [Coughs] Asshole! [Cough].

[Laughter]

John: Rather than mention the fact that this is something that really happened, that you should honor.

Amy: This is something that really happened, that I actually read about.

John: Also used the Doctor Who's: The City Of Death written by Douglas Adams.

Amy: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

John: There you go. This is something else we did a lot of, which was the process of elimination bit with the screens. Remember we did it in Hunter too? And it's just kind of fun because it’s kind of something from my physics background which is all about probability. And the fact that a series of educated guesses- it's kind of like our version of detective work.

Amy: Yeah.

John: You know, it's like crime detection, it's a lot of fun. And yeah, and now we're really seeing Nate start to spin out of control.

Amy: But this is what I would call dueling competence porn.

John: Yes it is.

Amy: This, and the third act where the teams are doing their jobs and doing them well.

John: Competence porn, by the way, is a term- I forget how it came about, but it's basically-

Amy: It's just a room bit.

John: It’s a room bit. It’s like, you know what? I just like watching people who are good at their jobs doing it, especially if they're entertaining. A lot of it was from 208 was watching Beth Riesgraf- in 208 there was an entire act that's a break in-

Amy: Oh yeah.

John: That’s Beth breaking into a vault. And when you're writing it, you're like, ‘Gosh, that feels thin,’ and then you're watching it and you're like, ‘I'm watching Parker break into a vault for 15 minutes and this is amazing!’

Amy: I could watch it for 40 minutes.

Dean: This is one of my favorite bullet time shots that we’ve done.

John: Yes, now this is- now remember this is all done not digitally- well we do it really. We freeze everyone in the background and the cameraman walks through it and we digitally speed it up. What is this space? This is the-

Dean: This is an actual museum in Portland that we turned into our space.

John: Yup.

Amy: Wasn't there a naked sculpture that you guys put a leaf on?

John: Yes, up in the upper level.

Amy: That's my favorite story.

John: Yeah. And then- yes, this is 4-way; this is not as insane as the one in the season opener.

Amy: But it’s still insane.

John: But this is a 4-way through about 100 extras.

Amy: I don't think Dean understands that we’re making television.

[Laughter]

Dean: Well, you know, honestly you don't even attempt a shot like this without a steadicam operator like Gary Camp.

Amy: Gary Camp is amazing.

Dean: He's a serious feature film guy. I mean, that was all one shot.

John: Yeah. That's stunning. And then you bring it back to Parker- and this is also fun, is the fact that we make fun in the show. And this was- even when we did tap out and some people were like, ‘Oh, you're making fun of Lincoln, Nebraska,’ when we had Sophie make fun of the food. We’re not making fun of the locations, we’re making fun of the fact that Sophie’s a little princess.

Amy: Yeah.

John: She's not someone who does well with things that- and the van, the van, actually, over the course of the second season becomes a character.

Dean: I love that she's says about how it smells a little whiffy.

[Laughter]

Amy: Which is a callback in The Future Job as well.

John: Yes, this is hard work, it smells like hard work. Yeah, Hardison's affection for the van.

Amy: Respect the van!

John: Respect the van, yeah.

Dean: Now this is actually the first scene where we’ll see the teams start to go head to head.

John: Yeah. Split up, call out your jobs.

Amy: This is the promise of the premise act, as we call it. And it's the Van Gogh that they're after, the Cafe Terrace At Night, I believe it’s called.

Dean: And this is a very important moment because it really established who Nate and Sophie were to the rest of the team. Nate being the one that makes the plans, but Sophie being the one who keeps them safe. And that had never been exposited before, and by doing that, it really set it up.

John: Boom! And then the parallel structure over to Hardison's opposite number, Chaos, played by Wil Wheaton, just four vans down.

Amy: Nice.

John: That was really inspired. They’re the most twin of the bunch. Oh, and this is amazing. This is amazing because that's all real time. That wallet never came off. This was this whole section we just gave to Apollo.

Amy: Yeah. He's like, what can you do? And he just basically-

John: And he took Beth aside and they came up with a bunch of- it’s like, you know what? We're just gonna run camera, you just do a bunch of you do you, man.

Amy: By the way, there was no one else we had in mind for Apollo. Even when I was like- when I came up with the concept, and then I also did the outline, I also called the character Apollo, hoping at some point we would actually cast him.

John: But was the Wil Wheaton character originally a girl?

Amy: In fact, she was.

John: Yes, that’s right.

[Laughter]

Amy: Yeah, it was- I believe it was a hot Latina-

John: Yes.

Amy: -that he was going up against, and then at some point, you know, in the casting process I turned to you and I was like, ‘You know, we've been talking about Wil Wheaton for something. Is this not the prefect role or not?’

John: And Noa Tishby rocking the dress. Noa was actually in the Israeli army. So that was kinda cool as we were looking at a lot of different actresses and Dean had seen her tape.

Dean: Yeah.

John: And it was like, you know, I wanna try a different ethnicity. I wanna try a different look, and brought her in. And what's great is she looks like she can take a punch, you know, that's a tough chick. And she really did great in the fight scenes and was a really- we got really lucky in this episode.

Amy: Oh yeah.

John: You know, we usually have to cast one big role; we cast five.

Dean: Right.

John: And they were all great.

Dean: Now this fight scene was-

John: Ok I'm gonna take credit for this one because nobody else is-

Amy: I wasn't gonna take credit for it.

John: No shadow on this, I had to explain this 9 times.

[Laughter]

Amy: Oh yeah, that’s right.

Dean: And this sequence was actually getting directed by Marc Roskin and you, John.

John: Yes, at two o’clock in the morning. But I will give Mark Franco big props for throwing the old 1970’s film look.

Amy: The film reel stuff.

Dean: I love it.

John: That is so great. The Shaw brothers look is that and this is the whole-

Dean: That's how they see- in their minds that's how they see fights, like the karate movies they grew up watching.

John: Yes. And this is based on two things. 1) a great story about samurais- I love that look that Chris did. Great story about two samurai who faced each other, knew each other’s skills so well they fought the entire fight in their head and walked away. And Warren Ellis’ character the Midnighter from The Authority comic book who has sort of the same thing. He does fights backwards in his head. Ah look at that, oh he's a great physical actor, too, it was really- it was nice, cause we cast Apollo, he's never done acting before, he'd never done TV before. And it's the one gamble on the whole show and he was fantastic.

Dean: And he totally pulled it off.

Amy: But he's just so damn charming, it’s like you, sort of, just believed from the beginning that he could do it.

John: Yeah, he's very dangerous.

[Laughter]

John: It's really- if he ever turned evil, we'd be in a lot of trouble.

Amy: Oh my gosh.

Dean: This next sequence, outside, while I had done the storyboards for it, Marc Roskin shot the hell out of it. And what we wanted to do was an homage to the great Western movies, you know, the Spaghetti Western.

John: Well this was the challenge, and we talked about this when we were writing it. It’s like, nobody does hacking in an interesting way. There's no way to do hacking in an interesting way.

Amy: Visually it’s- filming it is not effective.

John: So abandon trying to do it with the computers and just do the metaphor, which is two guys pitting each other’s intellects against each other, and make it text.

Amy: And it's much more interesting, look at each other than looking at screens.

John: Oh and that timing is great, look at this, it’s just fantastic.

Amy: This is so nerdgasmic.

[Laughter]

Dean: He even had that Spaghetti Western whistle.

Amy: Yeah. I remember the first cut it was only in there subtly and you were like, ‘Hey turn that up, man.’

Dean: Listen, I’m-

John: And look at the little holster move, too.

Dean: I'm all for subtly, I just want a lot more of it.

[Laughter]

John: Oh no, Wil knocked it out of the park in this. Did you know that he had been doing a bunch of shows and people have come up and asked him to sign his autograph as this character?

Amy: As Chaos.

Dean: That's great.

John: Somebody came up with the anarchists cookbook and asked him to sign it as Chaos.

Dean: And I love that Sophie can’t use a computer.

[Laughter]

John: Utterly useless.

Dean: She just closes it.

John: Well Hardison’s taught Eliot- and the look to the swords. We had so much fun coming up with different props in the scenes. And this was at 2 o’clock in the morning fight fight fight, you win. Fight fight fight, you win. And just- cause they had to learn the routines and we were banging it out in three sizes at a time, it was great. Then we shot the bird.

Amy: So many looks.

John: And this- you could run the entire Parker/Apollo scene without dialogue and you'd know exactly what's going on.

Amy and Dean: Yeah.

John: Actually-

Dean: She's a little bit the Harpo. You know what I mean.

Amy: She's the Harpo.

John: She's the Harpo, he's Groucho in that scene, it's very subtle.

Amy: Is that Chase? Was that Chase walking towards the camera? It looked a little like Chase.

John: No, no. And this is, again, one of the rules, one of the hard rules of doing these shows. These shows are very hard, is that it can't be a random obstacle. Whatever is your obstacle heading into the third or fourth act must either be a product of the villains plan which you've already set in motion, or something that the team has screwed up or succeeded too well. And not screwed up too often cause that means they suck. So-

Amy: You make it sound like we did something good on purpose. That’s awesome.

John: Yeah, every now and then. And this is just- I want-

Dean: We almost didn’t do this.

John: We almost didn't do, but this is the punchline to the bit, that they're so locked into each other-

Dean: I'm so glad we did it.

John: Yeah. I actually was ready to bail on it, you were like, ‘Yeah, you know what? Let's make time.’ And the little look, and he gives them a bunch-

Dean: A bunch of crazy idiots.

John: Yeah, exactly. Now this is great, Nate’s totally lost in the need to win at this point.

Amy: Oh yeah.

Dean: I love Parker saying that, ‘The people in this line of work are unstable; we can use that.’

John: Yes.

Dean: Completely not realizing that she's in that line of work.

John: Tapping the pad look at that and look at the look Chris- that's another thing.

Amy: ‘I'm totally helping.’ That's it.

John: Gina gives a little smile which I missed the first time I saw this show.

Amy: There's a lot of little subtleties.

John: And again, second season, you start pairing up things differently. Chris and Gina found a nice rhythm for Sophie and Eliot this year that wasn't there first year, just in the pairings. And we wound up working; it was nice. And this is- yeah, she killed a guy with a mop.

Dean: I love Hardison's jealousy about Chaos, the whole ‘ugh.’

Amy: ‘Chaos.’

[Laughter]

John: Cause, you know, and it's a great thing of acting on Aldis’ part, you know he's beat him. You know that Chaos has beaten him a couple times. He's really- he’s not a pleasant loser, Hardison. And the nice little fist tap for the Kobayashi Maru.

Amy: Nice little knuckle bump, Parker.

John: Yup. Well that was another one of the little subtle things, that Parker has plainly sat down and watched like all nine Star Trek movies with Hardison because it was just something he did on a Saturday, you know?

[Laughter]

Amy: Well she wants to see, you know, what normal people do.

John: Yeah, Hardison's probably a bad example of that.

Amy: I don't think that's right- the right choice.

John: There's not- you know-

Amy: I gotta say, I love Tim in this scene.

John: Yeah. He’s really mad.

Dean: This one, out of all the cutting back and forth, this was the trickiest because it had to match rhythm, intensity-

Amy: And dialogue.

Dean: -and dialogue.

John: That's right.

Dean: This was really tricky.

John: Line by line. And that was the tricky bit, too. We had to give both of them the entire script for each one so they could know what they were doing to each other. I think- did Griffin come down the first day and watch Tim?

Dean: I actually think this was Griffin’s either first or second day on the show.

John: That's right. Tim came down to watch- yeah, so he would know what he had done physically. There's a parallel structure even with the team. This was a lot of fun. But this is one of those things that looks really elegant, but scripting, it's a little chimpy. It’s like, once you know what you're going to do, this wrote pretty easy.

Amy: Ok, yes, but I'm gonna go on record in saying that this is the best third act we've ever done in the history of Leverage. I just love it so much.

John: Well, you know what? Again, this is something you sorta learn. We- you know what? You learn how to write the show while you write the show. This is when we really where we realize you only need to do one thing an act. We so tried to buff all the people and, ‘Oh look, at the incredible plot twist’ like, you know what? They're fun characters, they're good characters, let them do one thing.

Dean: Yeah, it's fun to watch them do their thing.

John: One thing every act.

Dean: And I love how they all started to get pumped up for it. On both sides, they are gearing up for game day.

John: This is a great act break.

Amy: Nothing about that act I dont like. And I had very little to do with it.

John: This is easily- this is one of my favorite shows of the season. Of both seasons.

Amy: Mine too.

Dean: And beautifully photographed by our great cinematographer, Dave Connell.

John: That's right, because we were shooting parallel; we were shooting inside the museum and outside. You were outside running back and forth.

Dean: Very intense.

John: And this is a lot of fun. All the security guys were great. Portland once again gave us a great, great acting pool.

Amy: Go Portland!

John: And then this was a lot of fun, was setting up the snarky dialogue and Aldis and Wil basically sat and sweated in their vans-

Amy: Yeah.

John: -for 6 hours. Cause Aldis is always going, ‘Nobody knows what it's like to work in the van’. That van is hot. So he was very glad to have a playmate.

Amy: Aldis had like one full day of shooting in the van and nowhere else.

John: Yeah, exactly.

Dean: I love the character Tim came up with here, that was great.

John: And Emily is actually the girl I went to prom with. That's where the name comes from.

Dean: Nice.

John: Yep.

Dean: Poor Emily.

John: Yeah I’m- hey!

[Laughter]

Amy: I said nothing. If you noticed, I stayed quiet and said nothing. I'm learning.

John: And Tim plays drunk, distracting guy an awful lot this season. This- and by the way, the security guard that talks him down is great, he's got a really great comedic beat. This, by the way, is a stunning sequence.

Dean and John: 10 millimeter lens.

Amy: 10 millimeter lens?

John: Down in the basement.

Dean: And look at this steadicam move - down the stairs!

Amy: Running down the stairs.

John: This is a guy walking!

Dean: And then whipping around, that is-

Amy: This is inhuman.

John: It really is.

Dean: For steadicam artists, they will understand how difficult that shot is.

John: By the way, I like the fact that we just locked Beth into the air conditioning system.

[Laughter]

John: ‘Are we gonna build one? No, there's one downstairs! Should we put Beth Riesgraf in moving machinery? If she's up for it.’

Amy: Not sure why we had to put the lock it, but that's ok.

John: It's a good look. And oh yes, it-

Dean: I think this is my favorite of all the air duct scenes, this is my favorite air duct scene.

Amy: This is actually-

John: Well like Two Horse- all of Two Horse where she was bitching while having to do it.

Amy: Oh yeah.

John: This is also- we built the most complicated duct system on earth for this.

Dean: Talk about the bird, because you were there for this.

John: Oh yeah, I- we thought the bird would be CG, much like, we thought we’d be on a CG roof the series premiere, instead we wound up in Chicago 40 stories up. Dean went and found a bird-

[Laughter]

John: -a North American Kestrel. He said it would be easier to shoot a real bird that was trained, and so if you go on my blog you see pictures of the bird, but that's the last thing we did that night, so at 2 am we had this bird in a box, which was really beautiful.

Dean: Yeah.

John: And-

Amy: No birds were harmed in the making of this episode.

John: No birds were harmed. It was a really beautiful bird. But yeah, the trainer was hiding right off screen to summon the bird to get it to fly across.

Dean: This was actually one of the most difficult fight scenes we've ever shot, mainly because of the small space they were in.

John: How did you get the camera up there?

Dean: We literally locked it onto the ceiling and just let it run for the whole day. And then hoped we had good material.

John: Oh cool. That everybody would hit their marks.

Amy: She's so intense, I love it.

John: And the- him switching back over to Hebrew, this was a lot of fun. Oh and ‘now I’ve got the lasers.’

Amy: ‘No, now I’ve got the lasers!’

Dean: His arrogance was just awesome.

John: The two of them were fantastic.

Amy: He’s almost too good at it.

John: Big thanks to Derek, yet again, for building a great interface that lets the audience know exactly what’s going on.

Amy: Derek’s our graphics guy, he's amazing.

John: Does all our computer stuff. And our security guards, you know, somewhat oblivious, but good guys.

Dean: That's just the oldest gag in the world that I love.

Amy: It flickers only when they're not looking at it.

John: You know what it is, it’s the Abbott and Costello, it’s the candle on Dracula’s coffin.

[Laughter]

Dean: And I love that.

John: I love that reveal.

Dean: And he comes in dressed as, and named as, Nate Ford. I mean, that is just fabulous.

Amy: He's with the insurance company, what?

John: It is a great little, ‘Fuck you,’ from that character.

Dean: And Tim’s look at him for doing it, it’s just awesome.

John: But this was the fun of the fourth- and this was really hard when we were plotting. It's like ok, in the fourth act they have to be good, but they have to look like they’re losing. And they have to look like they're losing so bad you come into the fifth act not knowing if they won, and then we have to somehow pull it out.

Amy: Yeah. This, by the way, the scene with the two of them talking with the bird cage, was one of the first images that popped into my head when we were breaking this episode. I just love this.

John: But this duct tape- cause here's the thing, we have to shoot this direction and you have to shoot them crawling off these directions. This thing was huge, a human sized hamster trail. Took up an entire ball room for that one shot. Great fight scene, and we had talked about this, and this is a lot steamier and sexier than originally pitched.

Amy: It's literally steamy.

John: Dean was all over- like ‘I'm going to fight. I'm gonna shoot the steamiest fight scene that we've ever had.’

Dean: I thought it would be interesting to do a fight scene as a love scene.

John: Yeah.

Dean: And so the fight is actually foreplay.

John: Yeah.

[Laughter]

John: And a dance. It’s really like a dance sequence. We used to always say fights are like dances because of the movement and everything, but you know, you took that very literally and everything, which was great.

Dean: Now, by the way, we've done lasers in several episodes before.

Amy: Yeah.

Dean: These are the best lasers we ever did by far.

Amy: It's pretty cool.

John: Yeah, and having them move, that was the key. It's yet another example of something that you think will be really hard, actually turns out to be a little easier and way cooler.

Dean: And way cooler.

John: Yeah.

Dean: And again, kudos to the effects artists. If you look carefully, you can see the lasers reflecting in her pupils.

John: Reflecting in her eyes. I know, that’s sick.

Amy: That's really hot.

John: That was really great. This is a big ‘they are screwed’ act out.

Amy: Oh my god, look at that!

Dean: That is so cool.

Amy: Why did I not notice that before?

John: And wet people fighting.

[Laughter]

John: You know what? We give you everything on Leverage.

Dean: Little sex, little violence.

John: And it’s good.

Dean: And now we were able to take the hat off cause we were able to use the real scar on his forehead finally in the episode!

John: Also kinda cool, Kevin, our stunt coordinator, had them fighting in Israeli military style. That they were both- they had both sort of picked up- we always had Eliot kind of fight in that style, but the fact that that would be her training-

Dean: And I love that these two are standing next to Honest Abe.

[Laughter]

John: And that's a great entrance. She's really got-

Amy: ‘Oohhh.’

John: She's got 3 great entrances this year.

Amy: Yeah, she does.

John: One I'm not gonna talk about.

Amy: Cause you haven't seen it yet.

John: You haven’t seen it yet. But the Annie Croy entrance in the season opener was one of my favorite Gina bits, and then that.

Dean: Fabulous. Gina absolutely brought her A game this season.

John: And yup, this is our double just whipping through this.

Amy: That was me.

John: That was you? I forgot about that.

[Laughter]

Amy: It's a secret skill. I don’t like to talk about it.

John: And that's the thing, that was footage of the gymnast whipping through those maneuvers with Beth popping up. The special effects people had to put the lasers through those moves to coordinate with- you know, ordinarily, you build these shots incredibly carefully. It was like, ‘No, here's the footage. Make it work.’

Dean: I love this old school crank.

John: ‘Can't hack a classic.’

[Laughter]

Amy: More competence porn.

John: More competence porn. Hardison- the staff will tell you the first year we had Christmas together, I got them all wind up radios and flashlights.

Amy: Yes.

John: I'm a big believer in emergency preparedness for the apocalypse.

Amy: He cares! He cares about us.

John: You mock.

Amy: Wants us to live through the world ending.

John: Well, you know. I play a lot of Left 4 Dead. I want to make sure my crew’s ready.

Amy: Alright, cool.

Dean: I love that - Parker not quite good at acting yet.

John: No. This is key, Parker can't do a long con. She can maintain it for maybe 4-5 minutes before her inability to mimic humans breaks down. And there we go.

Amy: By the way, this episode totally screwed my- the way I do story telling now, because I'm thinking as the criminal all the time.

John: Yeah.

[Laughter]

Amy: Like, it's terrible. ‘How would I break into an auction house? Well to control the motion sensors-’

Dean: I love this beat right here.

John: Yeah.

Dean: Like, ‘Ahh, screw the fight.’

[Laughter]

John: Well he knows he's won by this point, so it's just really-

Dean: And she's so turned on by the fact that he did, cause no one else has ever beaten her.

John: Yeah, that was a lot of fun, was the idea that people- it's, again, you respect someone who’s competent. And the hand- yeah the little look after the handcuff-

Amy: Wow.

John: He actually looks a little scared there.

Amy: I know, I know.

John: He's like, ‘I got you! Oh wait, what did I get?’

Amy: ‘Is it over?’

John: This is nice.

Dean: In the original longer version, they originally kissed and then fell out of frame.

John: I missed that! I missed the fact that they banged out a quickie during the middle of the con.

Amy: Uh, no.

John: Alright, fine. By the way, Christian loves the badge on the chain. Anytime he can have the badge on a chain, he’s the happiest man alive. And Hardison-

Dean: A little bit of improv-ing by Aldis Hodge here.

Amy: Indeed.

John: Aldis- and again, this pops up in the next episode, Hardison always goes a little too far. He's never able to quite control the- he’s never able to get out without pushing it too far.

Amy: Are you saying that's going to catch up to him at some point?

John: That will catch up to him. The very next episode matter of fact. And yeah, this was a lot of fun driving police cars around Portland at six o’clock in the morning.

Amy: I'm sure no one was alarmed.

Dean: Now young filmmakers, that little move there is to get on the other side of the line.

Amy: Oh yes.

John: What was that?

Dean: So we- after we established them coming out of the building the camera slowly tracks over to the other shoulder on both sides, so now we're on the opposite side of the line and all of their looks have now reversed from the previous scene.

John: You and your looks.

[Laughter]

Dean: But this allowed us to now do our car gag, because we couldn’t really blow up a car in this location.

John: At two o’clock in the morning.

Dean: So we had to whip-pan off of a look to a parked car, then later we blew up a model car and replaced it.

Amy: We did two miniature explosions.

John: I love this reveal. I love this look. It’s like, ahhh, it's like Christmas.

Dean: Bingo.

John: Yeah.

Amy: Always knew you were evil, Wil Wheaton.

Dean: And now the evil speech of evil.

Amy: The evil speech of evil!

John: The evil speech of evil! A crucial part of the- well, this isn't really an evil speech of evil. The evil speech of evil is usually when they are-

Amy: Yeah, it’s the evil griping of evil.

John: The evil speech of evil is just: define your behavior. He's straight up monologuing here.

Dean: This is a little bit more of the, ‘I would’ve gotten away if it weren’t for you meddling kids.’

John: Yes, exactly.

Amy: Are you saying this is a Scooby Doo?

John: In the original version of this, he pulls off the Wil Wheaton mask only to reveal he's still Wil Wheaton.

[Laughter]

John: But he wears a Wil Wheaton mask. You know what? We should've called Wil for this.

Amy: Oh my god, why didn’t we do that? Now we gotta record it again.

John: I know. Maybe- You know what? We’ll do one on iTunes with him.

Amy: We'll do a special one.

John: And we may be playing Dungeons and Dragons while we actually do the commentary. This is great now. This is tough. And talk about- we had a couple different endings for this episode in this particular scene.

Amy: Yes.

John: Go ahead.

Amy: I don't remember them, I just remember there were multiple endings. [Laughs]

John: We actually, for a couple different versions of the outline, had him lose. Had Nate and the guys lose.

Amy: Oh, that’s right.

John: And then our team conned them about the painting. And the moral was basically our team kinda sitting around, pissed off they lost, but they were still a family while the other team broke up. And it just didn't feel-

Dean: Wasn't satisfying.

John: It was one of those good writer beats- and that's why Dean’s actually a very valuable producing partner, because he's all heart.

[Laughter]

John: Seriously man, he’s- and he’s, ‘I don't feel it.’

Amy: And we have none.

John: And we have none, because we’re writers and our blackened little hearts are shriveled away.

Amy: And our dark souls.

John: It's very easy when you're writing a con and heist show to get a little too clever for your own good.

Amy: It’s true.

John: And Dean’s a very good barometer on, ‘You know, do I really-? Am I gonna be happy with this?’ And you know, he’s right.

Dean: I like a little fromage.

Amy: Well what were the reasons-?

John: No, not fromage, but just, you know-

Amy: I think one of the reasons we were gonna have them losing was that this was gonna be episode three or four, and then we had the wild thought that we would bring the evil team back for episode seven.

John: Yes.

Amy: And sort of do, you know, ‘We lost the first one, but we won the second one.’

Dean: There's the recall of your Emily story.

John: Yes, that's right, the little go to the dance with. No it's- oh and that's great.

Dean: Again, that was Apollo who came up with that idea.

John: Yeah, that they're picking-

Dean: A lockpicking race.

John: And also Beth tossing the lockpick into the air and catching it? After a week with Apollo, she’d really gotten disgustingly good. I think they're actually picking there.

Amy: Well Apollo has gone on record as saying Beth can actually be a professional pickpocket if she wanted to.

John: She's got soft hands.

Dean: And this is, again, one of those scenes where Christian shows you how good he is at comedy. How subtle he is when he realizes she may be the person who actually shot him.

Amy: Look at that look!

[Laughter]

John: Yeah.

Amy: His eyes widen just like a millimeter, but-

John: Yeah. And that was an improv, I think. ‘Y’all nasty’. He's supposed to just look at it.

Amy: That’s awesome.

John: And Griffin doing the Nate Ford, ‘I'm an honest man’ speech here, incredibly uncomfortably!

Dean: Well, we always want the villain to suffer and this is how he suffers.

John: He’s just sweating it out.

Amy: He's getting more satisfaction out of watching Griffin Dunne lose than he is from getting the painting back to the clients.

John: Which is something wrong.

Amy: Yes, that's not right.

John: Sophie's actually the moral center of this scene.

Amy: This is the episode where they, in a way, sort of switch roles. She becomes the honest thief, and he becomes-

John: They were a lovely couple. God, these actors were nice.

Dean: Just amazing local actors.

John: No, this was a lot of fun. And then, again, giving him just enough rope to hang himself with. And making sure that he's pissed off enough to come back in season three.

Dean: The other part of this scene I like is, it really shows how far Sophie has come, that she’s actually not just doing this, she’s actually, really- she’s drank the kool aid by now. She really believes in what they're doing.

John: To a little bit more than Nate at this point.

Amy: Yeah.

John: Yeah. Which, you know, and that- we really took the, ‘You killed Sophie Deaveraux.’ And the funeral was a late addition; that wasn't in the first outline.

Dean: Yeah.

Amy: No, it wasn't. That was something that we added later.

John: Yeah it was.

Amy: But that was an element of knowing we were gonna lose Gina and trying to set up an awesome departure.

John: Yup. And that bomb thing wound up being really- Because originally- it was originally a sort of investigatory clue path and then when we lose Gina it's like, alright let's scare the audience a little here.

Dean: How did you come up with this bit of how they tracked-?

John: I think that was some geek bullshit I had in the notebook, I’m fairly sure. Whenever it’s some tiny minutiae of how phones work, it’s you know-

Amy: Good old GPS.

John: Yeah well, you know what? I think at the time there were some protests about the fact that you couldn't turn off the GPS tracking in your phone, and it was- they were talking about a lot in England you being able to do that, so that just kinda stuck.

Amy: Well I imagine all this would-

Dean: There's Chase!

Amy: See, yeah, there's Chase. I knew I saw him at some point.

John: Is this-? Yeah, here we go. All these great local actors.

Dean: And I love the security guard; this woman is fabulous.

Amy: So much personality, only a few lines.

John: And again, this is one of those things where you are trying to come up with a really clever way to screw him and then you suddenly realize, no, it’s just a box full of paintings; there's nothing really subtle about this. You’re just going to jail forever.

Dean: But in a way, this is what makes it work. ‘This is the real one.’

John: We had a couple of different notes, too.

Amy: He lost by winning. Cause what he wanted was the paintings, and we gave him the paintings, but that’s what did him over in the end.

John: Another rule: the villain must be brought down by their own sin.

Dean: Now this, for me, is my favorite scene for a number of reasons.

John: It’s a good scene.

Dean: First of all, just the lighting. We got this at the perfect time of day.

John: Yeah, how'd we get the lighting Dean?

[Laughter]

Dean: We accidentally went over that day and somehow went into-

Amy: Oh accidentally?

John: Oh did the director somehow go over in the morning, so we just happened to be shooting at the magic hour?

Dean: It was odd how that worked out.

Amy: Oh interesting.

Dean: That we just happened to be in magic hour to shoot the romantic scene.

Amy: That is so funny.

John: What I love is the fact that you’d never work again as a director for boning your producer that bad, except you’re the producer?

[Laughter]

John: No, this scene is stunning.

Dean: They both knocked it out of the park on this day. And for me, it's weird to say it because I directed the episode, but this is the best almost-kiss I’d ever seen before. And it's really the way they did it.

John: Yeah. This was another one where it was like, set up the cameras, let the actors work.

Dean: This was also a callback to what happened in the episode at the school, because-

Amy: Fairy Godparents.

John: Yeah.

Dean: Cause in the Fairy Godparents that she had never really been honest.

John: Exactly.

Dean: And here she realizes she doesn't know who she is anymore because she's been so many other people for so long.

Amy: She got dumped because she wasn't being truthful with her boyfriend, and she actually recited all the names of her aliases, and this is sort of the callback to her having to bury them in order to move on.

John: Yeah, she's more attached to fake people than real people and it’s caught up with her. And this is the moment where Sophie Deaveraux becomes a better human being than Nate Ford.

Dean: And that red coat was totally Gina.

John: That was Gina. That's right, she came in with that she and Nadine went hunting for that. This is a great almost kiss.

Dean: Ow! Ow!

John: This was an Italian over. This is- what's that terminology?

Dean: It’s a French over. Rather than being in the front of them, you're over their backs and then this walk away.

Amy: The Italian over is you're drinking wine while you’re doing it.

John: And this walkaway was fantastic with that light right there!

Amy: Through the trees! It's so pretty.

John: You knew what scene was good when we were shooting it because I was watching it on the monitor and I turned around and all the local PA’s were standing behind us watching the scene and two of the girls were crying.

Dean: Yeah. It was awesome.

John: You just really nailed it. And that was going to be the summer season ender, 207, and wound up being still a great send off for that character. And really one of the best episodes of the two years I gotta say.

Amy: Yup, it's one of my favorites for sure.

Dean: For me it's almost like the two part season finale of one, season one, done in one episode.

Amy: Yeah, exactly.

Dean: So thank you for watching.

John: Thank you for watching.

Amy: Thanks everybody!

#Leverage #Leverage TNT #Leverage Audio Commentary Transcripts #Audio Commentary #Transcripts #Parker #Alec Hardison #Eliot Spencer #Nate Ford #Sophie Deveraux #Season 2 #Episode 7 #Season 2 Episode 7 #The Two Live Crew Job

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years

Text

notable moments from The Mile High Job

leverage 1.08

Nate: We need a key card.

Eliot: And I hate to say it, but you know who we could really use --

Nate: Don't even say his name. I don't want it spoken aloud

eliot begrudgingly admitting they could use hardison because although they may bicker all the time, he knows to appreciate him

- - - - -

[Leverage Headquarters]

(Hardison is watching a microwave, which dings)

Hardison: Yeah, buddy!

(he tries to pick up the pizza pocket but it is too hot and he drops it)

Hardison: Damn it!

(he blows on it and picks it up to eat it, then takes a watering can and heads out of the kitchen)

why do we (and parker and eliot) love this fucking idiot so damn much ???

- - - - -

(Hardison walks through the offices watering plants)

he’s such a nester + he’s probably watering parker’s plant too which is adorable

- - - - -

Eliot: All right.

(open the door to the hall to find Parker waiting)

Parker: So, what are we waiting for?

Eliot: How does she do this?

Nate: I don't even ask anymore.

Hardison: Don't bother with the stairs. I got you a ride down.

(elevator dings and they enter)

we love to see parker defying all laws of physics and logic and the team being baffled by it e v e r y time

- - - - -

(Nate, Parker and Eliot run into the lobby, headed for the door)

Nate: No, it’s right behind us, it’s right behind us!

(guards put their hands on their guns)

Parker: It’s furry, it’s big, it’s chasing us, get down now!

(they grab Sophie on the way out the door, leaving the guards confused)

Nate: Come on, we need to get to the airport, now!

that’s actually a really clever way to escape a situation ??? it was very effective to distract the guards ???

- - - - -

Hardison: What I.D.s have you got on you?

[LAX Airport]

Nate: Let's see...

(team begins looking through their pockets)

Nate: We got, Peter Davison, Sylvester McCoy, and I have a Tom Baker. Yeah.

Sophie: Ooh, yeah, I have a Baker. Sarah Jane.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Perfect. I now pronounce you man and wife. (typing on keyboard) Now go on and kiss that bride.

[LAX Airport]

(Sophie hands Nate a ring that he places on her finger)

hardison bases their ids on doctor who characters, what a fucking nerd

also, we gonna talk about how sophie carries a bunch of different wedding rings with her at all times or ???

- - - - -

Sophie: How did you both know there'd be an extra uniform in the bag?

Nate: Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms in case they get called to work unexpectedly.

Eliot: Or if something happens to the one that they're already wearing.

Sophie: How does "everyone" know that?

Nate: Worked airport security.

Eliot: Slept with a flight attendant

sophie being exhausted + eliot never mentioned the gender of the flight attendant so let my bi heart dream okay

- - - - -

(security guard opens Nate’s luggage to find many BSDM items inside. Nate gives Sophie a look)

Sophie: What? We needed luggage. Lost and found.

Nate: You didn't check the bag first?

Sophie: We were in a bit of a hurry. (to guard) Yeah. Cuffs are his. Whip's mine. (slaps Nate’s butt) Second honeymoon.

Eliot (picking up his bag): Idiots.

me watching this scene: part horrified part secondhand embarrassed

- - - - -

Hardison (on computer): Let's see what we can learn about Nathan Ford today. Online poker? Online chess? Sudoku. Crossword. What... Damn. Somebody needs to get laid.

y i k e s

- - - - -

[Coach]

(Parker on P.A. while another stewardess demonstrates)

Parker: Place the mask over your mouth and nose and breathe normally. In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let's face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely the impact will kill you.

(Eliot grabs the bridge of his nose while the other passengers get alarmed)

Parker: Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits, because if this plane's on fire, you're gonna want to get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over 1,000 degrees. That's hot, folks.

Eliot: All right, Nate. We're here. Now what?

eliot looks exhausted like 300 different times during this episode

+ bless the other flight attendant that just carried on with the crazy white chick being crazy over the speaker

- - - - -

poor eliot with the guy sleeping on him, he’s so exhausted already lmao

- - - - -

Steve: Nothing. It’s just... I could've sworn I saw a maintenance guy get in that elevator.

Hardison: A- A maintenance guy? Wow. Real nice. I bet you think we all look alike.

Steve: That's not what I meant.

Hardison: You know what -- If I have to go to one more of those damn sensitivity seminars, I know who I’m blaming.

Steve: No, no, no.

Hardison: I know who I’m blaming.

Steve: It's not what I meant.

Hardison: I blame you! You! (walks away)

hardison using societal tendencies of racism is iconic every (every) time

- - - - -

(Eliot gets up and begins going through luggage in the overhead racks. One of the passengers watches him suspiciously)

Eliot (to passenger): Can I help you with something? Watch the movie.

what would you even do in this situation ???

- - - - -

Marissa: I know. It's just -- It's like a placebo effect. It's not really working, but it makes you feel better anyway.

Parker: Yeah? So, when's that supposed to kick in? (she moves forward) Look. Flying isn't really all that scary when you think about it. I mean, there are a lot more likely ways to die than on a plane. Car crash, house fire, electrocution, drowning, autoerotic asphyxiation. I mean, the fact is, death haunts us every day. No matter where we are.

(Parker smiles and moves away)

Y I K E S

- - - - -

Hardison: You kidding? Did you get the new expansion pack? Woman, I was up all night. Now, look, I mean “Burning Crusade" was great, but this new one is mind-blowing.

Nate: Hardison…

[First Class]

Nate: …you bailed on the job because you were up all night playing a game?

[Genogrow Break Room]

(Hardison turns aside and opens a cabinet door to hide his face)

Hardison: First off, "game" is hardly adequate, okay

hardison is DONE with them not taking his “games” seriously ,,, also LMFAO that’s why he was late

- - - - -

Hardison (opens door): The meeting's starting, sir. (closes door)

Haldeman: What meeting? (sighs and puts on his jacket)

that is such an effective tactic tho ???

- - - - -

Parker: Hatbox full of Euros, pouch of uncut diamonds, and a stolen Stradivarius. Now, I’ve never lifted one of those.

Nate: Parker..

let! her! steal! it!

- - - - -

Eliot: Ms. Devins, those payments were not made in error. They were bribes. He was trying to pay off the researchers so they would not testify.

Marissa: What are you talking about? What the hell is going on here?

(Parker sits down next to Marissa)

Parker: The guy in 1D wants to kill you. Ginger ale?

Eliot: Just – sh-she--

that poor lady is NOT having a good time

also eliot looks sO DONE WITH PARKER LMFAO

- - - - -

Eliot: Erlick's a pro. He had a ceramic knife. If anything was going down, he'd sniff 'em out when he saw them coming.

Nate: How would they do it?

Eliot: Easiest way? Take 'em out in transit.

Sophie: You mean bring down the plane they're on?

(everyone looks at her pointedly)

Sophie: You mean bring down the plane we're on?

Nate: Yeah

that’s interesting meta to know but we hate to see it

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, Parker, I -- Parker, I need you – (to Eliot) All right, we got to talk to Erlick now.

[Plane Bathroom]

(Dan is still unconscious on the toilet as Eliot and Nate come in)

Nate: Geez!

Eliot (patting Dan on the face): Hey!

(Dan does not stir, Eliot sighs)

Eliot: When I knock people out, they tend to stay knocked out.

Nate: Hey!

(Nate taps the guy on the face)

Nate: Luggage tags.

(they search Dan’s clothes and take his luggage tags. Eliot grabs the ceramic knife before they leave the bathroom)

eliot doesn’t fuck around lmao

also he did the flippy thing with the knife

- - - - -

Hardison: Parker, the device you found -- is it anywhere near an orange box?

Parker: Yeah.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Oh, god. They tapped into the black box.

[Cargo Hold]

Parker: No, no, it's not black. It's orange.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Yeah, the black boxes, they're orange.

[Cargo Hold]

Hardison: Makes them easier to find in the debris.

Parker: Oh. Oh…

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: They've hacked into the flight's computer, which means they have access to the system, which means they can spoof the black-Box data all at the same time.

[Cargo Hold]

Parker: Crash the plane without anyone knowing it was sabotaged.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Exactly

that’s terrifying

- - - - -

Nate: Listen to me!

[Haldeman’s Office]

Nate: You can do this! I trust you!

(Hardison looking very unsure of himself)

[Cockpit]

Nate: No matter how many times you goof off or screw up, you always come through in the clutch.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Nate: You're the only guy I can count on in a situation like this.

Hardison (cracks his neck): You know what? I-I-you... You're right.

You're right. I got this.

[Cockpit]

Nate: Yes! Yes! Yes, you can!

Hardison: You're right. You're -- I'm the man.

[Cargo Hold]

Hardison: I'm the man. I got this. I'm gonna do this.

hardison is amazing and they need to appreciate him more

- - - - -

[First Class]

(Nate and Eliot stumble into seats and belt up)

Nate: Sophie?

[Coach]

Sophie: Yes?

[First Class]

Nate: You okay?

[Coach]

Sophie: Yeah. You?

[First Class]

Nate: Ask me again in 10 minutes.

[Coach]

Sophie: You're gonna remember this one, aren't you?

[First Class]

Nate: Oh yeah.

everyone else on the comms: ,,, y’all have to flirt right this second ???

- - - - -

[Haldeman’s Office]

(Hardison watching footage on the Internet of the plane landing)

Announcer (on monitor): …emergency landing on the seven mile bridge…

Hardison: Whoa! (gets up and dances) Baby! Unh! Age of the geek! Smooth! Too smooth! Lord, I was so scared, I wanted to cry, call my mama. Y'all cool? Y’all cool?

Nate: Yes, cool.

Hardison: Family. All right.

hardison is baby + HE CALLED THEM HIS FAMILY !!!

#the mile high job #leverage 1.08 #leverage 1x08 #leverage season 1 #season 1 #notable moments #leverage #mine

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cheshasleverage · 4 years

Text

The Homecoming Job Rewatch

Here we go, another one! I want y’all to know I’ve given up on any chance of making these short so strap in

“he's cheating on you.... with a camel!” “ok it was one time”

jenny can suck my dick

I like how the first season almost always has the client say something along the lines of “I don't want the money I went them to pay for what they did” or “I want them to face consequences”

“Doc he’s cool I found him on the internet” so by now they've set up some kind of way to be found but who the hell is gonna trust that? What kind of information did Hardison/Nate put up to not only make them sound appealing but also trustworthy to people who had literally just lost everything

This nurse is so sweet and I love her. She’s obviously dealt with scammers before, and she really cares about all the vets in her hospital

Oh and her line about people not showing up to help? I feel like Nate might at one point have had that idea, but after realizing he could be the one that helps, he’s out to prove to people like her that they can trust some people

OK so yeah, Hardison and Nate have been in contact after their first con. The team must’ve split to keep a low profile, but were waiting for Nate to give that signal. BUT, I want to know how many times Hardison called Nate talking about potential clients or a new base or their website because Nate became a stable source for Hardison and Nate manages to keep him from getting distracted, gets him to focus

Sophie has absolutely no acting shame and goes ALL OUT when she thinks about a character's motivation and story. Obviously, in cons she’s able to do this more eloquently and makes it fit the situation better so I wonder what exactly causes that shift in her. Is it because at the end of the con is a goal that she’s really determined on scoring? are acting jobs just not high enough stakes for her?

Eliot’s actual style is finally here, but did he really just pull a yo mama joke and then throat punch that dude? harsh

PARKER STEALING A PAINTING WITHIN THE 3 SECONDS A GUARD TURNS AROUND AND THEN ANSWERING THE PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEIST

alright so even if Hardison and Nate were talking, they never told the others what was happening so I’m 95% sure Nate might've mentioned a business to Hardison and then let Hardison go crazy with it (while stepping into reign him in)

Either Hardison found enough time to stare at Nate until he finished a painting or he found pictures of Nate to create that beautiful painting

If Sophie bought three houses and Hardison bought all that illegal software then it’s safe to say that the hospital Nate donated to got a lot of money for their equipment (That must’ve been sam’s hospital right? that’s what's being implied)

There it is... the very first “it’s very distinctive” line

I love the way the crew will say something about the job being too dangerous or hard to pull off and all Nate has to say is something briefly, vaguely almost, that makes them realize it won’t be that hard and then they all suddenly hop on board and start talking about strategies etc.

“I remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits”

Anyone else notices that for the first few cons Parker wears that hair cap but eventually, she gives up on it and just leaves her hair down?

Ngl the first time I heard DuFert talk about buying congressmen, I had the same reaction as Hardison and Sophie. Then I also had a short crisis when I realized that’s essentially how the gov is run now :)

DuFart is yelling at Eliot for being a stupid fuck but I have no idea how the fuck Eliot managed to pull off a name like that. I guess it also kind of hints at his expertise with food

Another thing I find great, and so satisfying is when Nate (or any of the team really) piece together what’s happening

Mr. Perry flirting with Sophie despite being in a dangerous situation is a mood

Again, Eliot’s ability to spot the military and their distinctive looks. Kind of makes me wonder just how far Eliot got in the military. Obviously, a lot of his info he picked up as a retrieval specialist but he must've spent a good number of years in the military and with his skills, I think Eliot might’ve gotten pretty well known

After getting through 5 seasons I kind of forgot that everyone except Eliot had never hurt or killed people when they were on their own

Love when Hardison and Eliot have these little moments where they’re joking around a smiling

Also when Hardison tries to add some of his classic flair and Eliot has to shush him

It’s clearer after seeing Nate and Hardison share a beer and popcorn while watching Parker that they clearly seem to have bonded first and that Hardison is kind of like Nate’s right-hand man, at least in these early episodes

“Might want to ease up on that” Nate casually reminding Hardison that Parker is not like most other women and that he probably shouldn’t make comments like that about her, especially not when it’s only their second time working together

Eliot says he hates baseball but he manages to not only hit a camera from several yards away with a rock, but he manages to throw it hard enough that it shatters and if that’s not the arm of a baseball player idk what is

I missed the comment Eliot makes about Parker and Hardison having a creepy contest when I first watched this episode

Again, Nate brings up giving away money because now technically they’re the good guys and that’s something the crew will have to adjust to. Now they’re not just taking down bad guys and stealing money to steal money, now they’re doing it for someone and they’re giving that money to the people who really need it

Fucking Sophie and Nate acting like a crazy married couple who have no idea where they are or what's going on give me LIFE. Also, Nate just fucking calling this bigass dude with a gun a jackass

Hardison makes me laugh at least once an episode, but watching him power walk away from Parker, whos putting a bomb on a crate, is a big fucking mood and I love him

“This is ‘cus I'm Jewish?” His nametag just says, White. Hardison put on a nametag that says White

Real slick of Nate to pull the walk away card when everyone's standing around enjoying how gratifying it feels to help someone who needs it (even though that was definitely his plan all along)

Of course, he bought himself a tesla. With as much money as they accumulate there’s enough to help someone but still take care of themselves, and I guarantee Nate brought his car to show it off and to show the crew that they can still spoil themselves. (plus this feels like another hint toward him being surprisingly good behind the wheel)

#i might make a separate post talking about how the team has never really killed anyone but well see #skunk of rage #leverage #eliot spencer #alec hardison #parker #sophie devereaux #nate ford #the homecoming job

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vickyvicarious · 3 years

Text

Just as I was about to go to sleep last night, I got a brain flash that went basically "something something flashback episode thiefsome themes???" so now in the light of day let's re-examine. This still isn't anything too polished, but... I think there's some interesting stuff to be found here.

Putting it under a tag so it doesn't clog up peoples' dashes too much, but the gist is that their roles actually represent their relationships/desires at each respective point in canon quite well, and it's giving me some thoughts about what a possible flashback with Hardison/Eliot would look like.

In the van Gogh Job, we get flashback Parker/Hardison. Obviously it wasn't them and the names are different and all but I'm just gonna call them f!Hardison and f!Parker because it's easier.

f!Hardison is brave, clever, determined, and deeply in love

f!Parker is loyal, comfortable, just as deeply in love, but terrified

Their flashback story is a cautionary tale as much as it is a romance. F!Hardison shares so many traits with Hardison himself, and f!Parker is a clear representation of current Parker. They make no bones about it, the parallels are extremely obvious and are even what makes the guy start telling Parker his story in the first place. Parker loves Hardison but she has found a place to belong in the team (flashback town/roller rink) and is afraid of what will happen if she disturbs that status quo by getting into a relationship with him. She's too scared of losing him (flashback to her racist dad/his buddies killing or hurting him, modern to the possibility of death mostly) to take the step to actually be with him, even though they both know she wants to. I love that there isn't any hint of her doubting his feelings or that he will remain devoted in either flashback or modern; the focus is entirely on her own fears for him and how she would handle that, not ever of him in any way.

Regardless of the timeframe, it's clear that (f!)Hardison loves her and will respect what she is willing to give him, even if that means leaving her. In the flashback, f!Parker still loves him and saves his painting in his honor for the rest of her life, remaining loyal to him despite never seeing him again. None of the emotion is in question at all, and it's clear that if she is willing to give it, her faith in him will be completely justified.

The episode basically just acts out Parker's fears (puppet-style?) and demonstrates to her that even though she would be fine if she doesn't take the leap - she'll be so much happier if she does. There's no guarantee of a happy ending, but Hardison is still himself and that means that before that ending comes at the very least, she will be happy. (Much like Sophie's beautiful speech to her.) Parker was already beginning to ease into a relationship with him, and this episode doesn't exactly drive her to jump in headfirst, but it's clear when we watch her reaction to the story what she will choose. She's going to build up her courage, but she's going to take the risk.

Now, given how transparent that episode is on their pairing, I kind of wondered what would happen if I look at the one that pairs Parker/Eliot's flashback selves: the D.B. Cooper Job.

f!Parker is understanding, supportive, loyal, and gives him a place to belong

f!Eliot starts out doing something bad for the sake of someone he loves, is drawn to her, and later feels wracked by guilt and seeks redemption by helping others

The focus in this one obviously isn't on the romance. It isn't even on either of these characters, so much as it is on Nate and his flashback self. But the parallels between modern and f!Eliot are still pretty apparent, if a bit watered down in that f!Eliot has no intentions to hurt anyone and in fact takes pains not to do so.

But as far as pairings go, I think what they do between these two is pretty interesting. Their flashback characters are drawn to one another, feel a kind of understanding and recognition that they can't quite explain. It's why f!Parker stops him before he jumps and never gives him up, it's why f!Eliot trusts her in the first place and why he shows up at her door after it is all over. I think this is a really nice parallel to the way Eliot and Parker understand one another and have this connection that is different from the rest of the team.

The other thing I like a lot is that in this episode, f!Parker is the steady support. She represents the home f!Eliot longs to have, even if she isn't the one who eventually offers him the chance to help others and make his own redemptive efforts. In fact, him working with f!Nate starts out for selfish reasons and only later evolves into a place where he feels he belongs. That's another obvious parallel to the Eliot we know, but the Parker in this episode is a little less immediately recognizable. Sure, she's an incredibly loyal person and will obviously not care overmuch about crime or whatever but mostly it's harder to see her as much in that role.

But I think she serves much the same role here as f!Hardison in the other episode. Though modern Eliot isn't hearing this story and making any resolutions based on it, the casting still represents their relationship. Parker is growing steadily into the position of leader/mastermind, and at this point she and Hardison are openly together. She is someone who understands Eliot on a very deep level, and she is coming to be the person who is his rock. While I'm not discounting Hardison's importance at all, Parker more closely fits the role of the person who encouraged him to take the job in this flashback. She's the one who, only three episodes later in Rundown, verbalizes a promise to change together. She (and also Hardison) represent the home Eliot craves to have, the belonging and support necessary for him to grow and to do good in the world. What's more, f!Parker is accurate in representing her side of things as someone who wants that for him. She wants to invite him in, wants to support him even if it's from a bit more of a distance at first (pre-relationship) but would absolutely welcome him inside as soon as he shows up at her door (once he's ready, she will bring him into the thiefsome).

And Rundown shows us that in action, again only three episodes later. Not in the sense of canon thiefsome, but Parker and Hardison are absolutely supporting Eliot leaving his darker past behind, changing with them for the better - and not just getting away with his own hands clean, but doing the extra work to help others (going after the guy who tried to hire him instead of just leaving town; again when they realize how serious the situation is but stay to fix it). The episode even ends with Eliot literally throwing away the crutch that would allow him to walk on his own, and pull them both in to support him instead. He's in the middle, he's deciding to join them even if he could get by alone, it's all representative for them welcoming him into the relationship too. (I headcanon something went down between them here but it isn't all cleared up relationship-wise until the Toy Job, but either way the themes are there!)

So with this in mind... The flashback with Hardison/Parker focused on Parker and her fears/decision to enter into a relationship with Hardison. Similarly, the flashback with Eliot/Parker focuses more on him and his desire to join the relationship. For both of them, the episode represents a shift in their relationship with one another, something not entirely unknown before, but a step that is challenging for them personally. Still, this step leads to greater happiness and growth.

All that in mind... what would a Hardison/Eliot episode look like, if we got it in Redemption? I'm getting into slight spoiler territory here, so leave now if you haven't seen the first few episodes.

Okay, so since we've had more focus on Parker, and on Eliot, this episode would focus most on Hardison. It makes sense as well for his role in the new series, because while Parker and Eliot are a little more stable, Hardison is the one entering a challenging new period of his life that is difficult but helping him grow.

I don't have any kind of full plot figured out, but here are some things I think we might see:

f!Eliot is supportive, confident, and believes deeply in him

f!Hardison is bold, struggles with self-doubt, and upends his own life in order to change the world for the better

I think Eliot's role in this flashback would be smaller, but he'd love f!Hardison deeply and the focus would not be on their relationship developing, but on the challenges it would face as f!Hardison embarks on... whatever it is. It has to be something f!Eliot knows he cannot do, and maybe even something that might mean the end of their relationship (though much like the van gogh job, the love between them is never in question).

I've seen people mentioning a Stonewall flashback episode for these two before, and that's possible. But another thing we could see is f!Hardison working against racist laws or something. Whatever the case, he needs to be doing something that benefits many, many other people, and it needs to put him at personal risk. I'm not entirely sure on what would be holding Eliot back from helping in the same way - it may just be as simple as f!Hardison gives amazing speeches and inspires so many people, while f!Eliot just doesn't have that skill. Maybe he is sick. Maybe, their relationship does end up attracting violence, and he gets hurt (doesn't even have to be their romantic relationship, if we're going a race angle and setting this episode further back, it could just be an open friendship with their romance kept secret. the themes would still be there). Whatever the case, f!Hardison has to leave Eliot behind.

And yeah, this has already happened in canon. We're already here. But if we wanted this episode to happen, I think it would be possible for the themes to still be relevant and the challenge to still be there for Hardison's character, if something brings him back to the team. If something goes down and he isn't there, and it terrifies him that he wasn't there, and he has trouble leaving again even though his work isn't done. Or if he organizes something on his end of the world that goes horribly wrong somehow. Sometimes it's not the first step that's hardest, it's keeping on even after the first big challenge. No road is free of bumps, after all, so Hardison might well think he's fine at first but start having doubts even after things have been going well for a while.

That is where you can bring this episode into play. That's where you start - f!Hardison is already getting involved in activism of some kind, but his own fame brings about negative consequences or something unrelated happens, and it scares him and makes him consider giving his work up. The episode can be bittersweet, with them never reuniting, or it can have a happier ending where he returns and f!Eliot is still waiting for him. But it's important for Eliot to represent a home that Hardison is already comfortable in, and one he has to leave in order to help others (however temporary the leaving is). And we need to see him away from the team, thriving and growing and improving so many peoples' lives in ways that never would have happened without him - both in the flashback, and in the modern part of the episode. In fact, Hardison doesn't even need to actually be physically with the team at all in the modern part of the episode. It can be more like the Broken Wing job, where we get hints at what they are doing but the focus is entirely on him and his struggle.

Of course, I have no idea how this would tie in to a modern heist. But maybe the format could be changed up, if we focus more on Hardison outside of the team. I'm sure there's some way this could be worked. And I think it would do really well in completing the trio of thiefsome episodes, and giving equal emphasis on all three of them in each one.

#leverage #leverage meta #leverage redemption #thiefsome #leverage ot3 #leverage spoilers #my meta #do i ever expect to get this hardison/eliot flashback episode? no. but i can still dream #i have to go to dinner so i don't have time to read this over for spelling errors or messups of any kind really. sorry for any of those!

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sandalaris · 4 years

Text

10 for 10 for 10

I’ve been tagged by @yossariandawn Thanks for thinking of me! and for all the great questions! (and sorry it took so long. I had a hard time thinking of 10 questions of my own.)

Answer 10 questions, ask 10 questions, tag 10 people.

1. If you could learn a new skill instantly, what would you choose? I’m not sure. I think that if it’s a skill you really enjoy than taking the time to learn becomes part of the enjoyment, so it’d have to be a skill I either only kind of wanted or that I felt was a need over a want. Oo, MMA, good exercise and the ability to defend myself or someone else if I ever need to, and it’s not something I feel really passionately about going through the process of learning.

2. What part of the world (that you’ve never been to) would you choose to live in for a month? Hyère, France. Don’t even have to think about it. About eight years ago I was planning a move and it was on the short list of places I was considering going to. The climate seemed the most ideal to what I wanted to live in and all the pictures were beautiful.

3. Favorite kind of sandwich or wrap? Grilled cheese? I don’t like sandwiches (or wraps) typically.

4. Show swap! Bring back 3 shows you love, but you also have to choose 3 you like to cancel instead. Oo, gotta think about this one. I don’t want to bring back a show that was already past its peak and I don’t want to say to cancel a show that isn’t ready to end.

Cancel: (I stuck only with shows that I watch and enjoy so I’m not digging at any show just because it’s not my personal preference)

NCIS – I love the show, seen every last episode and will continue watching it until the end, but it’s time for it to wrap up. It well past its prime.

Lucifer – Listen, I love this show, and there’s a ton of great characters and material here to make a long running series, but they have started going in circles with it and that’s making it feel old. How many times can the same characters learn the same lessons before it just feels like the writers are just forcing things back into the same ol’ mold? Let the story grow or move on.

Shameless – It’s a stretch because the finale season has already been declared, but it’s a show that I don’t really need that finale season, even if I will watch and enjoy it, because it’s reached its natural end.

Bring back:

From Dusk till Dawn: the series – I debated on this one. It wrapped everything up so nicely and I’m quite happy with how it ended, but at the same time the writers had plans for the next season and it was never officially cancelled and there’s so much more story that could be told.

Firefly – Although it’s been enough time that it might have to be more of a reboot maybe? Or are we doing the impossible and it’s coming back shortly after it was canceled? Either way, that show was cancelled way too soon.

The Gifted – Yes, it was a bit cheesy but it’s just as good, if not better than, a lot of the comicbook shows still going AND it ended on a cliffhanger. It needed to continue

5. What fandom would you want to get into, but haven’t yet? I don’t know. I feel like I don’t exactly pick my fandoms. I start watching a show or go see a movie or read a book and then if I feel like looking up fandom stuff after I do.

6. What show or movie do you watch to cheer you up? Probably Community. It’s a good show that has that nice balance of being a ridiculous comedy, but not too silly at the same time. And it hits so many of my favorite tropes. (Leverage could also count.)

7. Favorite condiments? ….salt? That’s technically a seasoning, but I am not a condiment fan. They are mostly gross and just cover up the flavor the food with their grossness.

8. What characters (from different universes) do you think would love hanging out together? Pick as many as you want. I wrote for fun a Kisa (FDtD) and Troy (Community) scene and discovered I really like them interacting (there was other people in the scene, but they stole all my attention in a matter of moments). They connected in a weird way and I loved writing Kisa’s bizarre and confused reactions to Troy. Britta (Community) and Richie (FDtD) would get along well I think. They’d click in that odd way that Richie has with random people and Britta would be a little too oblivious to Richie’s more social flaws/creepy nature, as is her way when it comes to guys with even the tiniest bit of charm and intelligence. Not gonna lie, I kind of ship them now.

I would also put Shawn from Psych with the entire Leverage crew. Sophie is the only one I feel would find him a bit much at times, mainly because she can spot a grift a mile away and Shawn’s kind of always “on” and think it would mess with her trust issues too much for her to be entirely comfortable around him. Nate sees his potential, especially if Shawn’s been brought in to help on a job, and the guy is ultimately one of the Good Guys, and he would go a long way to helping put Sophie at ease. Because Nate’s too smart to be taken in by someone like Shawn and Sophie wouldn’t feel like she’s the only one who sees him for the conartist he is. Eliot would groan and grumble for show, but in the end Shawn’s like a combination of his two favorite people in the world; Parker and Hardison. Plus, I headcanon Shawn and Eliot as cousins. I think Hardison might find Shawn a little too like himself to ever be best buddies with the guy, but overall they’d get along just fine. As for Parker... I feel like they’d be almost like two kids on the playground who both found out they like the same obscure cartoon none of the other kids have seen.

I have a little headcanon about Parker (Leverage) and Clint Barton (MCU) having been in the same foster home as kids and having this kind of a past-sibling-esque connection. I like to think that with both their careers they don’t meet up often, but whenever they realize they are in the same place at the same time, it’s a given that they’ll hang out while there.

My roommate keeps yelling over my shoulder Starlord and Micheal (from the movie starring John Travolta) until I agreed to put them. They would get along in a weird sort of fun way that would be fun to watch but hard to be a part of, but since I haven’t see that movie since I was a kid it’s not one I think of.

9. What’s the most underrated show or movie or book or artist that you love and people should really check out?

Ilona Andrews is an amazing author and more people should check their works out. But the most underrated show I think I’ve ever gotten into… honestly would probably be From Dusk till Dawn. I feel like most of my followers are at least aware of it though because I post enough about it, but it was just really good and sort of cut off before its time. A really close second would be Leverage. It’s still the number one show I recommend when people ask me and I just adore it to pieces.

10. What were you obsessed with as a kid?

So many things, but probably Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin the most. Pretty sure I named more than one stuffed animal after her.

My questions:

1. What was your first fandom? Are you still a part of it?

2. Current self care method(s)?

3. What are three (3) shows you keep meaning to binge watch but haven’t yet?

4. Do you stay active in fandoms after a new one catches your eye, or are you more a one at a time person?

5. What was the last movie you saw with someone else? What would you rate it?

6. Favorite guilty pleasure?

7. What’s a highly underrated show/movie/book series that you would recommend?

8. Any new hobbies you’ve started during quarantine? Any you want to start?

9. What meme do you wish would just die already?

10. Spread the love to your followers and post at least one link to a fic you’re reading/have read/wish to read/you’ve written yourself/etc.

I tag: @shyesplease @valeskaj @ithoughtiwasflying @c-sand @mygutsforgarters @bethanyactually @crystallinee-waters @evanberries @nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather @katwithlove and anyone else who wants to do answer! Seriously, I love having people respond even if I didn’t tag someone.

#love these things

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 5 years

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Hi hello, new follower here. I've read all your Leverage meta and am in great need of more! But I don't know what to ask for...So, any headcanons floating around that you'd like to share?

First of all hello darling! I love your icon, it’s beautiful, and I hope that you’re having a great day. ❤️

Second of all, I don’t have anything lengthy and specific at the moment, so here is a dump of headcanons that I hold near and dear to my heart. I’m so glad you’ve liked my other meta and if there’s anything here you’d like me to further elaborate on, please let me know!

_______________________________________________________________________

1. Hardison definitely has this elaborate proposal planned out, and it’s perfect. It’s going to be subtle, nothing too over the top, because Eliot and Parker hate over the top. It sends them running in the other direction if you’re conventionally romantic in any way. But it is definitely well-thought out, planned down to the smallest detail, and tailored to their interests.

But the day of a bunch of shit definitely goes down, it’s related to the job of course, and Eliot and Hardison are getting on each other’s last nerve and Parker is just Not Getting It and in a burst of frustration Hardison goes on one of his little rants that are really to himself that he doesn’t expect anyone to listen to.

“And here I was going to make this all nice for y’all I had a plan and everything and it was going to be amazing I didn’t have balloons because those scare Parker, because I listen, yes I do, unlike some people around here, see if I propose to either of you now, y’all are just gonna have to wait another month, I was gonna have that takeout coming that Eliot likes so goddamn much and I had a bunch of fortune cookies stacked into the shape of a cake for Parker but oh no, noooooo, we just had to do this today...”

And he only realizes towards the end that Eliot and Parker are listening to everything because Eliot says “you were going to propose!? DAMMIT HARDISON!” and Parker’s just sitting there with this Look on her face and says, “wait, but aren’t we already married?” and it just explodes into a loving three-way argument over what exactly is going on how did Parker think they were already married what the actual hell...

It is eventually all sorted out (Hardison possibly goes to sulk in Lucille 6.0 for a bit) and there is much rejoicing.

_______________________________________________________________________

2. I talked about this in private but it’s my headcanon that Nate and Sophie would end up having a child at some point, probably biological because I imagine that it would be an accident that Sophie got pregnant. Having a kid is right up Sophie’s alley, seeing how well she took to mothering the OT3 and how she loves directing and guiding her acting students. And Nate loves kids. He has a hangup about them because of his son and that loss, but he loved being a father and I think he would want to be a father again. But it was a nebulous, “at some point” kind of thing, and they’re talking about adopting versus biological, and then bam, Sophie’s pregnant.

And I think that would be a really beautiful thing to explore because I think it would really affect the OT3 because Nate was a father figure to them in a lot of ways. Eliot would especially hate to admit that, but given that he openly, to Nate’s face compares Nate to Toby, the other father figure we see in Eliot’s life (and who gave Eliot back his sense of self and a passion other than his job as a hitman) and Eliot’s relationship with his father being one of argument and distance (and possibly no reconciliation, although Eliot tries--the episode cuts out before you can see for certain if Eliot’s father eventually answers the door or if Eliot leaves)... yeah, Eliot sees Nate as a father figure. Hardison has a positive mothering figure in his life, Nana, but we don’t hear anything about a father figure, and Parker--we see very clearly how her father figure failed her and it’s all framed to show how Nate is a better father figure to her and how Nate realizes in meeting Archie that he does in fact see Parker as his daughter/protege.

But Nate has a lot of hang-ups from the loss of his son and so that keeps him from showing the OT3 as much affection as he would otherwise. Eliot accepts it but doesn’t like it, Hardison doesn’t like it and doesn’t accept it, and Parker is I think too used to a lack of praise and affection to notice, it’s par for the course for her. But it means that all three have issues with him and have times where they feel used by him, no matter how much they know that Nate does care about them and is loyal to them.

Sophie being pregnant and having a kid would not only force Nate to confront his issues but would force the OT3 to confront their issues about their relationship with him. I think there would be some arguing and tears--hell I think Nate wouldn’t even tell them at first, they’d find out through Sophie--but I like to think that eventually Nate would introduce his kid to their “three big siblings.” And the OT3 and Nate would finally be open and honest about their relationship with one another and what they mean to each other.

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3. I have zero evidence to back this up but I am 1000% convinced that if the show had kept going Moreau would’ve shown up again at some point. We had that whole season four arc with their very first enemy coming back to get even, and Moreau was repeatedly pointed out in season three to be the biggest fish they’ve ever fried. He’s jailed but in a country that he once ruled, there must be some people there still loyal to him or that he could blackmail. Zero proof, but you can pry this conviction from my cold dead hands, Moreau would’ve come back at some point.

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4. Sophie and Tara definitely were friends with benefits at some point. The way they talk to each other is, if you ask me, very flirtatious. Tara owes Sophie a massive favor but it’s never specified what the favor is. The entire nature of their relationship is in fact rather ambiguous, and despite both being grifters, it’s not until The Girl’s Night Out Job that they see each other grifting and learn about each other’s methods. And Sophie would never trust anyone with her team, her family, except for the one other person she could trust 100%. Tara makes a big deal about how she’s just here because she owes Sophie and that she’s here to take a personal cut of all their jobs, but she also looks out for the team and keeps tabs on them for Sophie. That shows a lot of trust on Sophie’s part.

Ergo, I think it makes sense that they were ones friends with benefits who actually by some miracle managed to stay friends after the benefits part had ended.

Also I make everything LGBT+ because why not.

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5. If you ask me, season two was where the OT3 really realized they had deep feelings for one another.

At the end of season one, Hardison asks Parker where she’s going and she says for him to try and find her, and at the beginning of season two he remarks that he tried to find her but failed. I think that that point in their relationship we can safely say we’re at a plateau, a pause. This is the turning point. Hardison can decide that Parker is playing too hard to get and he can walk away. Parker can decide that Hardison isn’t going to be patient and be what she needs and she can walk away.

Instead, we see the both of them develop deeper feelings. We see Parker feel jealousy when Hardison is getting cozy with another woman. We see Hardison reaching out more and more to Parker in a way he seemed scared to in the first season.

Season two is where we see Eliot and Hardison really kick up the banter. It’s where we see Eliot go out of his way to protect Parker and Hardison--and it’s where in The Future Job we see Eliot make his greatest declaration of love: he offers to murder someone for Parker, no question.

We don’t learn that this is precisely a declaration of love until season three, when we learn of Eliot’s past with Moreau. It’s only then that we look back and go, “oh shit.” And Eliot probably knows that Parker and Hardison won’t realize that’s what it is, which is why he feels safe saying it. But in season three, Eliot, who we have learned never kills when he can subdue, never subdues when he can placate and avoid the fight altogether, Eliot who hates guns--Eliot admits that he did a bunch of awful, horrible stuff for Moreau. That the worst thing he ever did, the thing that haunts him, was for Moreau. And Moreau asks Eliot to kill again, confident that Eliot will carry it out.

It becomes clear, then, that if Eliot who hates murdering did all those horrible things for Moreau, and he was willing to do a horrible thing, willing to murder, for Parker when that fake psychic hurt her...

The math is simple.

Season three we see the OT3 as a cohesive unit, one in which relationships are deepening. But season two is where we go from the first blush of “oh I like this person” to “oh shit I’m in love with this person.”

It clearly terrifies Parker. It also terrifies Eliot, although he’s better at hiding it underneath layers of crankiness and bluster. Only Hardison doesn’t shrink from it. And honestly I think Tara’s presence helped them to realize their feelings. Sophie was in a lot of ways a security blanket for the team, and now that she’s gone, the team is forced to rely on each other more than before and that means examine how they feel about each other.

Season one is the crush. Season two is the fall. Season three is the pining. Season four is the test drive. And by season five, they’re all in together, the badass cohesive OT3 that we cheer and love in The Rundown Job.

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6. Last but not least, I have a lot of feelings about Sophie and her relationship with the OT3.

Sophie mothers the OT3 a bit but it’s very different with each of them and it’s not the same as with Nate. All members of the threesome are lacking a strong healthy father figure and so they end up in this complicated dance with Nate, who has his own hangups about his son’s death and his less-than-ideal father.

But with the mother, it’s different.

Hardison has his Nana, who’s like a mother but not quite, more like a grandmother. Parker’s mother was a nonentity, and it’s implied her mother died in the explosion that Parker set off in her house. Parker probably saw her mother not defending her from her father, and felt her mother was just as guilty as a result. Eliot’s mother is never mentioned but he had a very close relationship with his father until his teenage years when they had a string of rough arguments and disagreements, which implies to me that he never had a mother--she died or left--which compounded his relationship with his father.

Eliot, however, is also the oldest. There isn’t a very large age gap between himself and Sophie. So his relationship with her is rather like that of an older sibling with a parent (a much older sibling). Sophie relies on Eliot to help Hardison and Parker, and she doesn’t hold his hand as much as she does with them. Their conversation in the boxing ring about Eliot’s violence, where Eliot assures Sophie that he has a handle on it and she doesn’t have to worry about him, is I think an excellent model for their entire relationship. Sophie doesn’t have to worry about Eliot, Eliot’s got himself under control, she can therefore spend more time on the other two.

Eliot and Sophie are also often on the same wavelength about things. Eliot’s the second-best grifter in the group, only Sophie is better than he is, and they approach people in a similar manner although Eliot is much more like an encyclopedia about it with rules in his head while Sophie’s more relaxed and instinctive (I know I’ve ranted about this before but Eliot is autistic and nobody can take that headcanon from me). Sophie’s there if Eliot needs her, but he often doesn’t, he’s grown up without a mom and at this point he’s old enough that he’s kind of past the point where he wants one. More often you miss what you had that was bad or abusive (like Eliot’s father or Parker’s father) than you miss what you never had.

Hardison and Sophie, on the other hand, have the biggest age gap, but Hardison also has the positive woman in his life raising him, his Nana. So Sophie is a mother figure to Hardison in the sense that she looks out for him the way Nate tends to forget to. She’s his mother figure because Nate won’t be Hardison’s father figure the way that he could be if Nate would just get over himself. Half the time you can see Hardison looking at Sophie silently going Mom, what the fuck is up with Dad again, and so that’s how Sophie fills that roll for Hardison.

And then finally with Parker, Sophie is the most traditionally maternal. Parker is in between Hardison and Eliot in age, so still an full grown adult, but also a bit young, she’s only thirty when the show starts, and clearly needs a guiding hand most of all. Eliot helps Parker to understand the world around her because he sees the world the same way that she does (“people like us,” he consistently says) and Hardison helps Parker to feel accepted for who she is and Nate helps her to hone her natural skills and become all that she can be in her profession but Sophie helps Parker learn how to handle people. How to present herself. How to pretend, because Parker sorely needs to know how to pretend, because she’s so raw and open and honest and herself and that makes her vulnerable.

Sophie teaches Parker things, especially social and traditionally feminine things, not with the aim of getting Parker to change herself but so that Parker can imitate those behaviors when she needs them, can pick them up and use them to her advantage. As we see by season five, Parker has mastered this. Parker’s honesty makes her a bad grifter but makes her excellent at convincing marks. Look at the episodes where Parker convinces the mark and pulls off the job--it’s when Parker is honest and raw and just tells it like it is.

But she can’t have gotten there without Sophie’s tools. And to survive in a world of invisible rules that Parker doesn’t know or understand, she needs a guide to explain those rules and point them out, and that’s where Sophie comes in. She is the most hands-on with Parker and the most openly encouraging, without ever making Parker feel demeaned or like a child.

I just have a lot of thoughts about Sophie and the OT3 mmmkay!?

So those are my random sporadic headcanons/metas! I hope that you enjoyed them my dear, wow this got long, oh my, um, join your local union, always tip your server, and pay your hitmen in cash!

#mads answers things #leverage #leverage meta #nathan ford #sophie devereaux #alec hardison #parker #eliot spencer #theproxyfront

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roguelibrarian · 5 years

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inspired by @greenreticule‘s post, which was in turn inspired by this post

BROTP: THE PLATONIC ONE TRUE PAIRING, the CHOSEN FRIENDSHIP, your entire blog can be identified as “that person who won’t shut up about characters A & B”

Look I don’t even know what to say about Kanan and Ezra at this point because I just love them and their relationship so much. Anyone who’s spent 5 minutes on my blog or read even one of my fics knows how I feel.

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Obscure: the one you’ve spent hours trying to create your own content for because there isn’t even an existing tag for the friendship, there probably isn’t even much art of the characters themselves, why must you suffer like this

Okay I don’t actually have an image for this one because it’s a book fandom and also I’m not even a third of the way through book 3 so for all I know this ends up not belonging in the “obscure” category or something will end up happening that will make his a bro-NOTP, but anyway...Vin and Marsh from the Mistborn series.

I just...I want to see them interact even a tiny little bit more and maybe bond over the fact that this person who was really important to both of them is dead now? Please?

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Misrepresented: okay there’s art but it’s ALL SHIP ART, it could be a ship you respect or something downright immoral, but either way, WHY CAN THERE NOT BE JUST /ONE/ PIECE OF PLATONIC ART YOU CAN REBLOG WITHOUT WINCING AT THE OP’S TAGS

First of all, Parker is aro. Second, please, just let there be one piece of content about these three in this entire fandom that isn’t shippy and that I didn’t have to make myself. I’m dying over here.

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Obsession: you woke up one day suddenly wondering “what if these two were friends” and spent the next 86 straight hours creating or consuming content about them, you now feel strangely surreal anytime they have one (1) line of interaction in a fanfic

....listen, okay, it’s less of an actual BROTP and more of an Evil BROTP. Yes, Maul needs to stay away from Ezra and never talk to him ever for any reason, but aside from that, literally everything else about this type of BROTP description is exactly how I feel about them (except for the “what if these two were friends” part. it’s more of a “what if Ezra was stuck with Maul” thing; tbh this is mostly about the “spent the next 86 hours creating or consuming content about them” thing).

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Misrepresented (Pt. 2): there are actually other people who like this brotp and you know you should be grateful b/c that’s so rare, but like everyone gets their friendship WRONG, it’s the wrong dynamic, you’re so frustrated nobody else sees the same level and type of depth to it and sometimes it makes you doubt yourself

And once again it’s the Leverage trio, and the whole misrepresented part is mostly because of how ableist the fandom is about Parker. There is so much fic and meta in this fandom that portrays beleaguered Eliot and Hardison having to “handle” her and it’s super infantalizing and awful and just...*shudder*

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Strange: how even do you label it, it’s not exactly parent-child but it’s not a sibling-like relationship for sure, it’s not really a “friendship” but it’s certainly something deep and meaningful which is not romance? is it aunt/uncle-nephew/niece? master-servant? you can’t figure out the tag

And Parker makes her third appearance on this list! I make so many comments about Nate being the “team dad” of the crew, and like...he is, but also he could easily be described as Parker’s sketchy uncle or her weird, eccentric (read: revenge-obsessed and always at least a little bit drunk) teacher. But no matter what, I love it and I love how Nate might never really come to fully understand Parker, but he still recognizes how smart she is and how good at her job she is and he respects her and trusts her and she at the very least respects him even if actually trusting him is hard but anyway...

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Closet Platonic: it’s a really popular romantic ship and you don’t really mind it so you just kinda go with the flow, but deep down in your heart you think how much better a platonic relationship would be, maybe some day you will find someone who feels the same way and proceed to best-friend marry them

Look, I know, but I have been in love with the idea of QP Kanan and Hera since literally the first episode and I’m not about to let little things like “it’s the most popular ship in the fandom” or “canon” get in my way.

#long post #i need a brotp tag

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serenelystrange · 4 years

Text

Lemon Vampire-Repellent

A fluffy family-feelsy little Leverage fic written for AslansCompass as part of @leverage-secret-santa-exchange 2019!

Summary: Parker catches the cold from hell and fluff and caregiving ensue! I hope you like it!

Rated G. Parker/Hardison, Parker/Hardison/Eliot family feels, Gen.

“The key ingredient,” Eliot explains, “is exactly one fourth a cup of lemon juice.”

Continue to Read on AO3 or under the cut!

Hardison nods along, only half listening, watching with wide eyes at the seemingly random pile of foods and herbs that Eliot has been adding to the bubbling pot on the stove for the last hour.

He snaps out of it when he notices Eliot is directing Bitch Face # 4 at him.

“Wait, what?” he asks, long passed being scared of Eliot’s face.

Eliot just sighs and repeats the question.

“Where are your lemons?”

“Umm,” Hardison says, stalling as he pretends to look around the kitchen, knowing full well that he and Parker do not possess any lemons.

“We might have one of those plastic bottles in the fridge,” he finally says, shrugging and giving Eliot his most innocent expression.

“Who doesn’t have lemons?” Eliot asks, shaking the wooden spoon he’d been stirring with at Hardison in exasperation.

“Who just has lemons hanging around?!” Hardison counters, smirking.

Eliot stops himself before he can be baited into yet another dumb argument with Hardison, and takes a deep breath.

“Dammit, Hardison! Just go to the store and get me a bag of organic lemons,” he says, grudgingly adding on a ‘please’ at Hardison’s raised eyebrow.

“I’m going, I’m going,” Hardison says, pausing for one more glance at Eliot’s suspiciously cauldron looking pot. “Before you turn me into a frog or something.”

Eliot just waves the spoon at him again before turning back to stirring the pot as Hardison leaves.

“This’ll fix you up,” Eliot says a few hours later, concoction perfected after Hardison had finally come back with the lemons.

“I’m fine,” Parker says, weakly.

She’s propped up against her and Hardison’s bed, surrounded by pillows and practically buried in blankets.

“You are not,” Eliot says, calm but stern. “Drink.”

“It smells like a lemon vampire repellent,” Parker complains, wrinkling her nose as he brings the mug closer to her.

“That would be the garlic,” Eliot says wryly.

“Come on, babe,” Hardison says from where he’s leaning against door frame, looking on in concern. “You won’t let us take you to a doctor, at least let Eliot feed you his witches brew.”

“Not witches brew,” Eliot corrects mildly, completely unsurprised when they both ignore it.

“It’s just a cold,” Parker says, stubbornly.

“You’re feverish AND shivering,” Hardison fires back.

“A bad cold, then,” Parker says, chin set stubbornly even as her head thumps back against the padded headboard in exhaustion.

“C’mon,” Eliot tries again. “It’s easier if you just drink it all at once. But not too fast, you don’t want to throw it all up and have to start over.”

“Oh god, I’m not doing this twice,” Parker says, finally pulling her arms out from her blanket pile to reach for the mug.

“This better work,” she threatens, glaring at Eliot and Hardison both for good measure.

“It’ll help,” Eliot promises, smothering a grin as Parker’s face scrunches up in distaste as she sips the drink.

“There we go,” he says once Parker has drained the mug and mostly stopped glaring at him.

“Thanks, El,” Hardison says as Eliot passes him and heads back towards the kitchen to clean up.

“’course,” Eliot says, clapping Hardison on the shoulder as he goes.

“That was gross,” Parker mumbles from the bed, already falling asleep again.

“I know,” Hardison soothes, coming over to settle her down horizontally again and tuck her back into her blanket cocoon.

“Don’t,” Parker says sharply, flinching away from Hardison.

“What is it?” he asks, surprised and no small amount of worried.

“Just don’t want you to get sick too,” Parker whispers, burrowing into her pile of pillows.

Hardison just laughs gently.

“I’ll take my chances,” he says, and pushes Parker’s messy hair out of her eyes, rubbing her scalp in a light massages as he does.

“Yesssss,” Parker sighs, leaning into the touch like a cat.

“Get some sleep,” Hardison says. “If you feel better later, we’ll have ice cream.”

Parker smiles but is asleep again before she can actually reply.

“I hope that stuff really does help,” Hardison says to Eliot when he joins him in the kitchen again.

“It should,” Eliot says, “but I’m leaving all the ingredients in your fridge in case I have to come back and make more.”

“Thanks,” Hardison says again, “I’ll keep an eye on her, make sure it doesn’t get worse.”

“If it does,” Eliot starts, but Hardison cuts him off before he can finish the thought.

“I’ll carry her to the car and bring her to hospital myself,” he promises, laughing internally at the thought of buckling the Parker Blanket Cocoon into her seatbelt.

“Damn right,” Eliot replies.

“Go home, man,” Hardison says, kindly. “I’ll call if I need backup.”

Eliot puts his hand out for their complicated handshake and grins.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he says, and heads out, leaving Hardison alone in a kitchen that is definitely cleaner and shinier than it has any right to be after only a few minutes with Eliot.

“Freaking cleaning ninja,” Hardison whispers to himself, looking around in awe.

“Haaardison,” Parker calls out the next morning, frowning at the empty bed around her.

It takes him a minute to untangle from his blankets on the couch, but Hardison appears in the doorway, still half asleep.

“You ok?” he asks, voice rough and eyes mostly closed.

Parker reaches her arms out towards him and gives him her best puppy eyes.

“Carry me to the shower?” she asks, in a way that is more demand than anything else.

Hardison is moving before his words catch up to his brain, and it’s not until he’s scooped Parker up that he pauses to consider the request.

“You hate asking people for help,” he says, snickering softly when Parker shoots him a dirty look for calling her out.

“You’re not people,” she says, clinging to Hardison like a sloth. If the sloth was tall and blonde and suffering from the dumbest head cold in the world.

“Aw,” Hardison says, teasingly, but also actually kind of touched. “You’re not people either.”

“People are the worst,” Parker agrees, clinging a little tighter as Hardison heads towards the bathroom.

“Will you even be able to stand in the shower?” Hardison asks, shifting Parker’s dead weight in his arms.

“Hmm,” Parker says, apparently not having considered the concept of gravity versus muscle weakness.

“Carry me to the bathtub!” she amends, kicking her feet weakly in a ‘giddy-up’ motion.

“Woman, I swear to god, watch those feet!” Hardison scolds even as he’s laughing.

When they finally make it to the bathroom, Hardison sets Parker down on the closed toilet seat so that he can fill the tub up with the fancy peppermint bubbles she’d stolen from a snooty department store they’d passed through a few months ago.

Once it’s hot and bubbly, he helps her out of layers of cozy clothes and into the tub, arranging her hair over the edge of the tub as she settles against the fancy bath pillow that Hardison had swiped from that same snooty store for his own cozy bubble-baths.

“Just yell if you need me,” he says, ready to leave Parker to it.

“Don’t go,” Parker says, reaching out one arm blindly to try and grab him.

“I don’t think you’re well enough for that kind of bath,” Hardison retorts, but takes the offered hand in his own anyway.

“Just sit and talk to me?” Parker asks, uncharacteristically plaintive in her request.

She continues before Hardison can even reply.

“I haven’t heard anything geeky in days,” she laments. “Tell me what the geeks are angry at this week, Hardison. What’s new with the birds who play that game? What’s Doctor Who up to?”

Hardison laughs in delight, and grabs some towels to pad his seat on the tile floor so she can sit and lean against the tub, letting Parker take her hand back and settle fully into the water.

“The birds are still playing,” he says, “and the Doctor is on hiatus until New Year’s Day.”

“She travels in time,” Parker argues, “it might already be next year wherever she is.”

“Take it up with the BBC,” Hardison says, turning his head and shifting so that he can watch Parker’s face. Her eyes are closed, face flushed from the steam, and there’s a playful smile resting easy on her mouth.

God, he loves her.

“Oh!” he says suddenly, startling Parker enough that she cracks one eye open in mild alarm.

“What?” she asks.

“I have two words for you,” Hardison says, pausing dramatically for effect before continuing.

“Baby. Yoda.”

Parker opens both eyes at that, face shining with excitement.

“I need him,” she says, resolutely.

“You haven’t even seen him yet,” Hardison laughs.

“Irrelevant,” Parker says, settling back again and smiling to herself.

“I’m gonna steal him,” she says.

And Hardison knows that if anyone could actually manage to steal a fictional alien from the clutches of Marvel, it would be Parker.

“Of course you will,” he agrees.

They talk about nothing until the water goes cold, and then fill it back up with hot water and start all over again.

“I live!” Parker cries out triumphantly a few days later, as she and Hardison meet the others at Nate and Sophie’s.

“Glad to hear it,” Nate says, looking up briefly from his coffee and honest to god Sunday newspaper before getting back to the crossword he’d been working on.

“Such an old man,” Sophie teases him gently before focusing on Parker.

“Good to see you up and about again,” she says. “Nate’s found us a new job, and we didn’t want you to miss all the fun.”

“Ooh, crime!” Parker says in delight. “I’ve missed crime!”

Hardison and Eliot share an eye-roll over her head, but can’t deny how good it is to have Parker back to her normal self.

“Hell yeah, Team Crime,” Hardison agrees, squeezing Parker’s waist before settling on the couch next to Sophie.

Parker’s already hovering around Nate’s tablet, trying to get all the information before he can even begin his presentation.

“A passcode, Nate, really?” she asks.

Nate slowly lifts the newspaper to hide his laughing face and says nothing.

Parker just huffs and goes about figuring out the latest code with gusto. It really is good to be back.

The End

#Leverage #Leverage fic #leverage secret santa 2019

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