#I like the thought of Charles finding out a lot of things about dbt and it and all of Desert Bluffs's past not through Kevin

[mudstoneabyss]

hc that there's a hospital- more of a doctors office or clinic than a full hospital- in Desert Bluffs Too, and it's made from what used to be Carlos's lab

#thinking about. even years later when idk Charles needs to go to the hospital fr something (nothing like an emergency or even sickness idk) #him asking Kevin if he wants to come along bc theyre hanging out or even live together at this some point #or fuck maybe Kevin is injured #but either way Kevin denying and brushing him off and saying something about not liking the hospital #but not explaining why #maybe Charles being curious as a theologist is want to be brushin off some blood with his sleeve to uncover an old faded sign that says lab #maybe he's been told enough about Carlos from Kevin to connect them‚ and that to Kevin's reluctance to step foot there again #wtnv #joyousposting #I like the thought of Charles finding out a lot of things about dbt and it and all of Desert Bluffs's past not through Kevin #but by exploring and researching the town #vibe of hes out here playing an irl click and point adventure game

[discovering-ellie]

August 31, 2021 - Post Two

Daaaaaay Seventeen. And, while today has been -so- much easier on me than yesterday, I'm still kinda sorta smack dab in the middle of the "NOPE" train. Maybe that's why I'm not feeling too connected to this card. I don't know. At least I've managed to do my dishes, (finally) take my vitamins after days of not doing so, and I'm washing my towels. Hopefully I'll be able to pull myself out of this housework funk soon because, damn, I was doing SO well and now, well, I'm -not-.

Front: "Notice connections"

Back: "Cultivating insight is all about understanding the connections between things. But before you can understand connections, you have to see them. Whenever you see something interesting happening in your experience, practice looking for related connections. For example, if you're distracted by something while you're working, try recalling what emotion you felt just before the distraction. Or, when you feel a sensation in your body, notice what distinguished that sensation from all the sensations you don't normally notice. This practice of noticing will illuminate the connections between your mind, body, and experiences."

My Interpretation: Okay, so here's the thing -- I already notice connections ALL. THE. TIME. My brain is already hardwired to make connections from one topic to another and then another and another (for example, I went from this to already thinking about Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier because the phrase "moving from topic to topic" brings me back to the Dark Materia Picard Song, which then brings me to Patrick Stewart, which then brings me to X-Men and, dammit, Anna Paquin is the worst and JUSTICE FOR KITTY PRYDE and I am SO PROUD of Elliot Page). I make so many connections in the span of seconds sometimes that it would then cause me to do that whole "where is my mind now?" card from the other day. Right now? My mind is still stuck on the Picard Song. It's up in another tab and everything.

In a way, I guess the emotional documentation that I'm doing in tandem with Defusion and Expansion is a way to find connections within myself, my emotions & behaviors, and the things happening around me. I honestly haven't put a lot of thought into this card today because I already do this all the time.

Plan of Action: I'd say try focusing where I notice all of these connections, buuuut that's a.) kind of difficult at times and b.) something I already do when keeping track of my emotional episodes.

DBT Skills Card Update: I feel like I took, like, three steps back today since all of the progress I've made in terms of creating space between me and my coworker has gone out the window, buuuuut there's always tomorrow.

ACT Skills Update: No big emotions today, but I -have- started keeping track of all of those events in their own little notebook so I don't have to leaf through my session journal or all of these posts in order to find them. Do I have too many notebooks for too many things? Probably.

I will say that Nastassia gave me some pretty good suggestions for creative projects to help me zone out/zen out for a little when I'm feeling stressed and, yeah, I'm exploring some ideas for that which are pretty exciting and as soon as I nail that down, I'm sure I'll tell you guys all about that.

And I'm sure you'll all get another update in a couple of hours after I finish my session with Kelly.

"I'm allowed to be happy. I'm allowed to be healthy. I'm allowed to have a wonderful life."

#mental health #mental health blog #mental health journey #mindfulness