#I know that everyone constantly saying you're weak or ugly or BOTH is not helping matters

[pttucker]

「 Kim Dokja thought: Yoo Joonghyuk is now in the Gilobat Industrial Complex. 」 At first, I purely felt gratitude. Ah! Yoo Joonghyuk was a decent person! That jerk hit the industrial complex to save me! I felt thrilled for a while without thinking much. Then once I thought about it, I couldn't believe it. That Yoo Joonghyuk entered the Gilobat Industrial Complex to save me? In the first place, it was strange that Yoo Joonghyuk knew about my crisis. How could a guy who wasn't a constellation or have access to a channel know about my crisis? Thus, Yoo Joonghyuk was likely to do the opposite of coming to my rescue. He noticed that I impersonated him and came to the Demon Realm to pick me up. In the meantime, something went wrong and he headed to the Gilobat Industrial Complex first where he went through an unnecessary dispute and overturned the industrial complex. I couldn't even fathom how much rage it felt to do that.

Hey, remember when Uriel and Joonghyuk had that conversation about saving Dokja and Joonghyuk gave those absolutely atrocious excuses as to why he was "really" going to the Demon Realm, you know the ones that were so bad Uriel straight up started laughing at him right in his face?

Remember how Joonghyuk was soooooo obvious in his desire to save Dokja that nobody would ever believe his bullshit mumbling about 'usable items' or some shit?

Well great news!

THE ONE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE STARSTREAM WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES JOONGHYUK'S UTTER NONSENSE IS KIM FREAKING DOKJA

In fact, Joonghyuk didn't even have to give his excuses, Dokja just thought them up all on his own!

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#dokja I know you have serious trauma in your past really I do #I know that everyone constantly saying you're weak or ugly or BOTH is not helping matters #but please I'm begging you #at the bare minimum please accept that people love you enough to at least want to SAVE YOU FROM DEATH #(we won't even get into the fact that your party just cares about you in general) #(yes even joonghyuk) #I just want to take dokja and wrap him up in the softest burrito blanket ever and THROW him into the big dokja company cuddle pile #he won't be allowed to leave until he at least admits that he has friends now 😭 #orv novel chapter 221 #orv #orv spoilers #orv liveblog #omniscient reader's viewpoint #yjh #kdj #joongdok

[meetmeatthecoda]

Lately, I've found myself drawn to stories ( and I mean drawn to as in envisioning those stories in my head, thinking them through to the very last detail, not reading, let alone writing them down, because I've long since accepted that they will never turn out quite the same on the paper ) where Red is the one who'd been seriously hurt and, therefore, rendered unconscious for an indefinite amount of time and worried Liz is the one who doesn't leave his side, hoping and praying and pleading that he would wake up. Probably, something that has to do with how unfair it is that we've seen Red keep vigil by hurt!Lizzy's side – playing music for her, holding her hand, reading to her etc. – a number of times and yet, over the course of 8 seasons, never have ever been allowed the pleasure of seeing Liz do the same for him ( not even when he was shot – because she left to retrieve the Fulcrum and couldn't come back until the fight was over – or when he was poisoned – because she'd been waiting to be cleared to see him and he ran away the moment he wasn't actively dying, because that's Red for you all ), even though she loves and cares about him as much as he loves and cares about her.

I mean, just imagine the possibilities!

Liz pacing around the waiting area of Red's mobile hospital while he's in surgery, unable to think about anything else other than how he looked – battered and broken and barely alive – when they've found him and how his head rested in her lap ( she could almost convince herself that he was merely dozing, if he wasn't so deathly pale and still and there wasn't so much blood on his clothes and her clothes and her hands and the backseat of the car ) and his hand was limp in her death grip as they rushed him to his doctors and she whispered words of reassurance and encouragement to him even though she knew he couldn't hear her and how she had to fight the instinct to curl around her lover and snarl at anyone who would come close because she can't let him be hurt further as the medics took him away from her, exchanging observations and orders that didn't sound particularly reassuring. She's also acutely aware of the fact that Red is fighting for his life – there, just a few feet away from her – and, though he's the strongest man she's ever known, he may not win, and so she makes a promise to the empty air in front of her that she will kill him herself if he dares to give up on her and Agnes like that now, when they've just reached the good, right place in their relationship, just confesses their feelings to each other. At some point, Dembe most certainly pulls Liz in for a hug, letting her cry in his shoulder, doing his best to comfort her ( even though there's nothing that can bring her more comfort than Red's hug, when he – alive and whole – wraps his arms protectively around her and holds her close and lets her hide from the whole world in his arms, his chest, his shoulder and neck – wherever she prefers to burrow her face at the time – and the memory itself makes her cry harder, because there's a possibility that he will never hug her like that again ), even though he's just as worried and scared as she is, and Mr Kaplan helps Liz clean up, washing away Red's blood from her hands and producing seemingly out of the thin air fresh clothes for her to change into.

Red, of course, pulls through the surgery, beating all odds, and Liz's heart floods with relief at the good news before sinking when the doctor explains to her and Dembe and Mr Kaplan the extent of Red's injuries and that it's impossible to say when – or even if – he wakes up.

And so the waiting game begins. Liz doesn't leave Red's side, holding his hand, stroking his knuckles with her thumb and never letting go, constantly talking to him and reading to him and even asking Dembe to bring the record player and some records from the Bethesda apartment to play to him, hoping that it would elicit some kind of response from him. Yet, as they days go by, there's not a single, smallest sign that he's aware of anything that's going on around him, that he's still there somewhere and is trying to find his way back to her, to them – he doesn't stir, doesn't so much as flutter his eyelashes, and Liz grows more desperate with each passing day, even though the doctor assures her that Red's slowly but surely improving ( but she can't see it with her own eyes, and if she can't see it, she's less likely to believe it, the more time passes with him just lying there, undisturbed by the loud, chaotic world around him ).

And then there's Agnes... While Liz keeps vigil at Red's bedside, the babysitting duties are split equally between Aram and Samar, Charlene and Cooper, Ressler and Audrey and Dembe and Mr Kaplan. Yet more often than not whoever picks little Agnes up from school and / or her ballet classes brings her over to the safe-house where Liz and Red are. She doesn't seem to be as unnerved by Red's state as her mommy is, climbing on his bed each time she visits ( after giving her mommy the biggest hug, of course ) and leaning in close to him, examining his face thoughtfully before half-asking, half-stating "He's still tired, mommy?". And Liz usually replies with a hoarse "Yes, baby" because she doesn't trust herself not to get choked up if she tries to answer more eloquently. Agnes simply nods then, satisfied with the explanation why he hasn't woken up yet, and settles against Red's side – mindful of his injuries and the spider web of wires and tubes connecting him to all sorts of monitors and machines – and either naps ( especially, on ballet classes days ) or tells her mommy and Red ( she talks to him just like Liz does much too easily – promising him to show him the new moves she's learnt when he wakes up etc. – as if she's already done that before or seen anyone else do that... unbeknownst to Liz, she did both – when Liz herself was in a coma, Agnes both saw Red talk to her mommy and was encouraged by him to talk to her, too, because it may help her mommy sleep easier and maybe she'll get better sooner and finally wake up ) about her day or does her homework or draws ( more often than not, she draws either cards for Red to read when he wakes up or just things she wants him to see ). And when the time comes for her to leave, she always kisses Red on the cheek, wishing him "sweet dreams" and to get better soon, and then gives her mommy, who tries so very hard not to tear up but fails miserably, a hug and a kiss, too, and tells her frequently that she shouldn't cry because Red is just too tired, just like she – Liz – once was, and that he just needs to sleep a bit more.

And when the door behind Agnes closes and Liz is sure her daughter won't see / hear her, she breaks down hard, in big, ugly sobs, because her little girl shouldn't be acting so naturally in this kind of situation and because she wishes so hard that Red just woke up, because she can't do this, any of this, without him.

In the end, once his body has healed itself enough and he regained enough of his strength, Red, of course, does wake up. It's a slow process, and Liz thinks she might either faint or go mad from the overwhelming feelings that are swirling inside of her when Red moves for the first time in what seems to her like forever – squeezing her hand feather-lightly – and when he leans slightly, unconsciously into her touch when she strokes his cheek – out of habit, without even expecting any sort of reaction from him and being pleasantly surprised – and when he opens his eyes for the first time – it's a brief occurrence, with his eyes slipping shut tiredly again after just a few moments, and he's still pretty much out of it, apparently, not even noticing her presence by his side, but for Liz it's a major event – and when he finally, finally looks directly at her – alive and conscious and alert – and calls her "Lizzy". He's still weak and his voice sounds terrible and Liz knows she shouldn't let all of her pent-up feelings – the fear and despair and frustration and love and relief and exhaustion – out on him like that – he's just woken up, after all – but she can't hold back the tears nor the jumbled mess of "thank you"s and "I love you"s and " "I've missed you"s and "I'm so so happy you're back" and "I was so worried" and "Don't ever scare me like that again" that spills from her lips as she leans in to kiss him lightly and give him the gentlest of hugs...

(Since I'm not a ficwriter and, therefore, have no intentions of using this pile of ideas/images/feelings myself, I wouldn't mind at all if you or any other writer drew inspiration from this rambling of mine)

Ahhhhh 😭😭😭 Are you sure you're not a fic writer, anon?? Cause this reads like some quality hurt/comfort to me!! 🥲🥲 Honestly, this is a lovely scenario to imagine & it gives me a slightly bitter sense of satisfaction to think of Liz suffering through just a fraction of the time Red spent by her side while she was in her coma... especially if it's the catalyst for fEeLiNgS to emerge tee hee bc, you're RIGHT, we were woefully deprived of those situations in the show & I'll never not be sad about it tbh. More specifically, things I love the most about this in no particular order: Liz having to "fight the instinct to curl around her lover & snarl" *swoon*, Liz swearing she will kill him herself if he dies LMAO, Dembe hugging her for comfort & Mr. Kaplan helping her get cleaned up 🥺🥺🥺, Liz playing records for Red yasss, AGNES & everyone taking turns babysitting her while she misses her Daddy desperately but deals with the situation with a maturity & grace beyond her years in an effort to help her grieving Mommy through it cool cool mkay mkay, Liz only breaking down once Agnes leaves OWWW, anddddd Liz being a blubbering mess when Red finally wakes up & calls her "Lizzie" & they kiss *whispers* it's fine, i'm fine 🙃 IN CONCLUSION, I love this anon, thank you for sharing this lovely little AU with me!! 🥰 And much, much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #Agnesgate #thoughts #headcanons #mine #ask #anon #ughhhhhhhh #this mini fic is packed with feels #and punched me right in the face #thank you for this gift anon #:') #much love!! #<3

[contentgreenearth]

TRUE TYPES POST #18: EASTER

DISC: I/D profile; result: I/D (C), slot 25* (this is the most typical version of I/D, known in DISC as the "lazy Z")

SOJT type: fully differentiated Fe-n (D>A dominant serves as dominant)

MBTI type most resonant: ENFJ * (this is the most typical version of ENFJ)

What were  you  like  in high school? 

In high school, I was the ugly, fat kid who smoked cigarettes, and hung out with a bunch of kids who were similar. And no, we were not "in".

What is your  greatest  fear? What do you  do to address it? 

My greatest fear is that I won't leave a lasting impact. I address this fear by trying my best to be influential, and to check with people, and see if what I'm doing really matters to them

Was  there a time in your life where you felt you hit  rock bottom? What was the  situation  behind  it? 

I don't know exactly when it happened, but I decided I was fed up with smoking, and being fat and ugly. I realized, as much time as I spend taking care of others, I needed to take care of myself. So I stopped smoking. I started exercising and eating healthy, so I lost 85 pounds. I also started wearing nicer clothes and more jewelry, and started taking better care of my hair, both head hair and face hair

Where  would  you  put yourself  on the social spectrum, and why? 

I'm an extrovert. I don't think that's even in question

What are some things that really bother you? 

It bothers me when people are mean, not just to me, but to others as well. It bothers me when people are apathetic, and can turn a blind eye to the needs of others

What,  would you say, are your biggest strengths? 

My strengths are love and compassion, for sure. I'm always moved to help people. I work as a Human Resources Manager, and that's what my job is all about.

What,  would you say,  are your  biggest  weaknesses? 

I can be impatient, stubborn and arrogant. When people see me behaving like that, they think I'm not interested in people, so they pass me up for a friend. It's sad, because I love everyone, and I really thrive with friendships. Because of my weaknesses, people never give me a chance

When  you  switch  your  attitude between  introverted  and  extroverted,  or vise versa,  what are  you  like?

When I'm introverted, I'm withdrawn and introspective. I get really analytical, and start questioning why I do things. Am I genuine, or do I have impure motives? Sometimes, my analysis gets so heavy, I start feeling bad about myself

What was the hardest  thing  you  ever had  to  do? Why was  it  so  hard? 

The hardest thing I ever had to do was to take care of Easter. As I mentioned before, I'm often so focused on the needs of others, that I neglect my own.

What are you  like  when  you're  sad? 

I cry in private

How masculine/feminine  do  you  feel  in relation  to others  of your  gender? 

I feel feminine personality wise, because I'm tochy feely. But since I started taking care of myself, I now look pretty masculine. So I'd say, I'm probably average

Here's  4 focuses  you can have in  life: tasks, people,  objects and ideas.  Which one would  be  your  primary focus and why? Which one  would be your  secondary  focus  and why? 

People, obviously are first. I believe the second is ideas

What do you  do to have fun? 

I like to hang out with friends or family

What was  the  nicest thing you ever  did  for  someone,  and why did  you  do  it? 

I'm constantly doing nice things for people, and it's my mantra. I do them, because my compassion gets stirred up in me, and makes me want to do nice things. It's something I do so often, I can't pick one nice thing I did, and say it was the nicest. So I guess I'll say that doing nice things for people happens on a daily basis, and I don't know what the nicest thing would be

Thanks for sharing, Easter. We appreciate it

Additional typologies I've been able to do since:

Big 5: High on O, C, E and A; low on N (SCOAI)

Enneagram: 2w1, so/sp, 216

7 intelligences: Excellent at logical/mathematical, linguistic and interpersonal; good at musical and spatial; average at kinesthetic; weak at intrapersonal

Additudinal Psyche: VEFL

Greek Temperament Blend: Sanguine/Melancholy

Psychosohpy: VEFL

#typology #mbti stuff #mbti #enfj

[biderboy]

okay i'll give you another because i am indeed very bored. and this is fun. basically i'll start it like this: i was taking a general paper class where we focused a lot on forming out own ideas and elaboration on barebone things. one day, we came to class and the teacher had posted up a pretty common question. "if you could take a pill that would make you constantly happy, would you take it?" and i'm sure you've heard this one before, i'm sure most people have the same thought process of "no". and i am going to psychoanalyze this, you're right. first of all, i feel like the reason why everyone's immediate reaction is "no" is because the question is very simple. we grow up being told not to take things for granted, and that life is never so easy as to hand out free happiness. we are taught to question everything, and when something seems so basic, it's a trick. and i do think it is essential that we question the things around us; we all need to form our own opinions, our own thought processes, our own mindsets. narratives and agendas are bad. so let me ask you, at what point does the trick take place? because suddenly, everyone is saying no, instantly, so is it still a trick? one of my interests is the mind and why it responds the way it does. i love it. and my other huge question is: why would you refuse constant happiness? given elaboration, of course you're going to see why, but take it from instinct. don't scrutinize, don't overanalyze. i sat in that room and while yes, i wouldn't take the pill, i can't help but wonder why we have decided that good things are not even worth considering. the very first thought is "no, i wouldn't want to constantly be happy", and i don't care what you say, but that doesn't sound right. clauses and terms and conditions come with skepticism, but instinct always comes first. we think good things have to come with bad ones. moving on from that, i do think that the most common response i heard in that discussion had to do with comparison. "if you don't feel sadness, you can't appreciate happiness." and i agree with that. but i also think there's a part of us, as humans, that crave the pain. it sounds odd, probably weird, but i think it exists. it does tie in with comparison, but it's also just a part of living. you can't drown in sadness, and neither can you overdose on happiness. for me, indulgence comes from prolonging unhealthy habits with emotions. it will always be easier to run from emotions than it is to accept them; i am constantly pushing things down, and now i'm at the point where i cannot make myself feel them. maybe it makes me heavy, and sad, and overall horrible. but would i take the pill? no. not because i want to keep my comparison, but because the pain is a part of life. those negative things, horrible and wretched as they, are what shape people. it took god knows how long for me to really realize the effects. right now, i'm feeling them. and now i'm offering you this because i don't think you would take the pill. i don't think anyone suffocating in the most unimaginable pain would take it. and for me, at least, that was a really good reminder. because heartbreak and heartache are parts of life and the better days will indeed come. yes, i'm still hopeful. call me cheesy, but there is a huge difference between living and surviving. you can survive on happiness as much as you survive on sadness. but that doesn't make you alive. i have a good life, i won't deny it, but i always feel odd when people tell me they're jealous over how perfect my life is. by no means is it perfect, but that's not the point. i feel like perfection is unattainable. i will never listen to that advice, and i am a horrible perfectionist, but regardless, we should never wish for perfection. we should wish for goodness. things will get better. wish for growth. things will turn out the way you want. wish for perseverance. things are never set in stone. wish for strength. don't wish for emptiness, because that will never be living. like i said, there will always be bad things, but when you can pick out

those good ones, however few or however many there are, it makes a world of difference.

that was long lmfao. but the take away is just a reminder that you're going to grow and persevere and be strong. and it is normal to crave numbness, but everyone knows that that's only hurting yourself more. you have to want these things for yourself, and with the time heals all wounds like, you have to give yourself time and patience to embrace your pain, as much as it hurts. ily

yea i gave myself a moment to think about this one and it’s quite long so 🙏;

my first reaction was “yes, i’d take it” a knee deep reaction, something rooted in my brain that is a constant “you need to be happy” , which can coexist with “you need to seem happy” which are two completely different things. the world works in a way that pushes ugly stereotypes onto people who aren’t “happy”, because it makes it seem like there is something wrong, when in reality happy is not the only feeling. it’s just the most “acceptable” one.

i go on with the fact ; some of us have this desperate need to stay strong. we push tris with the feeling of happiness. because showing sadness or angry, is a “sign of weakness”. a lot of us have drilled it into our brains that we have to be strong, that our armor can’t break, that we have to bet these...robots. for reasons, could be trauma, could be family, could be our own minds, or the world around us. but we have to be strong. if we’re happy all the time, no room for doubts and anger, or anything that can take that strong feeling away.

it’s very much pushed into our minds at a young age that the only way to success is happiness. so when we’re sad, the goal is to be happy, not to heal. we can mask the pain with a smile and a laugh, but that’s not healing the wounds that are there. happiness does not equal success the way the world thinks it does. happiness is just a feelings amongst other things, and just because someone is not happy, does not mean they won’t make it in the world. someone who has healed, will.

my second thought was no, i wouldn’t. and i agree with you. we are taught to never take something without thinking there is more. someone will want something, it won’t last, it will turn around and bite you, things like that. almost as if happiness is not a constant, and instead the “bad” things are. but in reality, life is a balance of both good and bad.

i believe some people would say no, because they hold onto the pain they went through. they believe it’s what’s keeping them together, instead of love, it’s pain. they think that without pain, they won’t know who they are. they won’t know how to live. it’s so deeply engraved into their soul that they can’t imagine their life without it. so they hold on to it, and they make themselves drown in pain.

some of us drown in that pain just to get a moment to breathe, and we think that that breath is temporary, and that we won’t get it ever again, or at least not for awhile. we think we don’t deserve that breath.

which makes no sense, because of course we do. we deserve that, we deserve happiness and love, and fresh air, and life. we deserve it all, even when we think all we deserve it pain.

that being said, i really wouldn’t take the pill. i’ve been numb for a long time, without the ability to feel, without knowing if i’d ever be able to feel again. but one thing i knew, from years and years, was the pain was real. but so was happiness. they coexist. it took me forever and a day, to notice that despite the overwhelming amount of pain i felt, i still felt happiness. even if it was just a breath.

for awhile i was not living, and sometimes i still feel like i’m not. and i’ll wish to the stars to make me feel something. anything. besides the empty part of me, to make me feel alive. and then i remember i’m breathing,, and maybe it’s not a breath of happiness, but it’s not a breath of sadness either. it’s just a breath. i’m alive.

for people who have been through such pain, such hardships, i think it’s okay to just be alive. to step back and realize life isn’t about everything. it’s just about something.

#half of that will make no sense #but MAN got me thinking about life which i have more done for awhile THANK U #isa <3 #sorin answers