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kylorengarbagedump · 4 years

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Little Bird: Chapter 30

Read on AO3. Part 29 here. Part 31 here.

Summary: Survival, but at what cost?

Words: 3400

Warnings: emotions

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: It's technically Friday right?

I've been done this chapter for days and I've just been sitting on it out of pure anxiety. HAHA. But I did edit it and post it so here you go. Hope you enjoy. It's a bit of a break in some ways, not a break in others. Let me know what you think--I'm ever-molding, ever-receptive!

I love y'all! Stay safe with COVID. <3

You did not remember arriving home, exiting the Audi, stepping out into the searing sun. You did not remember the car ride: a murky journey spent in silence next to your Commander, a sentient shade. You did not remember being led from the balcony down the steps, through the halls, stares sticking to you like sap, stringing syrupy sinews to your skin. You did not remember the moment you stood, or the moment you breathed, or the moment you finally moved. Most mercifully, you did not remember the body--a gruesome, heavy pendulum--as it rocked in the cotton air breeze.

What you did remember was a sharp growl of breath as Johana flung open the front door, eyes rimmed red and burning with the fuel of exhaustion.

“Glad you could make it home, Commander.” She aimed the sword of her stare at you, but it pierced you like rubber. “You must have had a wonderful evening together. Won’t both of you come in?”

You followed him like a zombie, gaze trained on the ground, watching from outside your body as you climbed the steps, crossed the foyer, swept past the kitchen. Tile blurred to wood blurred to a soft Persian pattern. All you could stand to focus on was the wall, the rhythm of your breath, the thump of your still-beating heart.

Unlike hers.

It was only after Johana snapped her fingers in front of your face that you were aware that you’d taken a seat in the parlour room. You’d landed on a dark leather Chesterfield sofa (what was the preoccupation with Chesterfield, in this house?), your Commander and Johana standing at odds beyond the ebony coffee table at your knees. Her arms were crossed. He regarded her like one might regard a swarm of ants on the kitchen table.

“Well?” She looked between you. “What do you have to say for yourselves?”

Of course, you had nothing to say. So you said nothing. Kylo Ren also said nothing, but his silence was far more unreasonable.

“Don’t just stand there,” she said. “You can at least bother to explain why you left me alone in the house without so much as a word.”

“I wasn’t aware I owed you my agenda.”

She blinked. “Oh, please,” she replied, “as if I care about your agenda, at this point. What if something had happened while you were gone? To the house?”

Kylo sniffed. “The Knights were present.”

“They’re your men, not Gilead’s. They can’t prevent me from being questioned by the Eyes.” Johana scowled. “They can’t prevent the Council from ordering this house to be torn apart.”

You stared at your hand, at the sprig of cuticle poking from your thumb--you pinched it, tugged it, pain shooting up your wrist. Real, restorative breath would not come to you. Neither would any coherent thought.

“You believe the Council would arrive at my home unannounced. In the middle of the night.”

She blinked, as if he’d asked if she believed the world was round. “After your display with your little slut last night?” she asked, gesturing to you. “I certainly wouldn’t be surprised.”

“She is my advisor.”

Johana snorted. “An advisor to what?” she asked. “Your cock?”

Kylo’s lip curled, and he stepped toward her, shoulders rolling. “Careful.”

She snarled, not budging an inch. “You think that the others don’t see how you look at her?” she said. “You think that they believe your intentions are innocent?” A disgusted, tired laugh escaped her. “Where did you go all night?”

Silence. Kylo was a wolf, thirsty for her rabbit blood. But she wasn’t backing down.

“You never answer my questions,” she said. “Not even after I… I’ve lied for you, taken responsibility for your thoughtlessness, thrown you parties to help with your ridiculously poor public image--”

His fists furled. “None of which I requested.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Her voice was rising. “I did it for you! I did it for Gilead, I--I… I did it for our future!” she said. “One day, we’re going to have a child together, and I want that child to know the Gilead that I know!”

The tear at your thumb split past the nail bed. A child. Your child. Just hours ago you would’ve been sickly elated to be pregnant. Now you wanted to rip your uterus out, barren with bare hands. Gilead was no place to create new life. And Kylo Ren certainly wasn’t the man to create new life with. What had you been thinking? Blood beaded, slipped in a fat drop down your knuckle. It was a relief.

“The Gilead you know is imperfect.” His hands were still balled. “You’re clinging to the past.”

“I’m clinging to what God would’ve wanted!”

“You’re clinging to what Moden Canady wanted.”

Johana’s face tightened, and she sneered, pointing an accusatory finger at her husband. “At least Moden would’ve thanked me!” she said. “Moden would’ve never had an affair with--with some whore, someone disgusting enough to be made a Handmaid to begin with!”

“Johana.”

Flush heat bloomed red at her neck, in her cheeks. “Moden loved me,” she seethed, “he would never have left me alone, he would never have--”

“Enough.”

“--forgotten his purpose as a husband, which is to protect me, to care for me--”

“Enough.”

“--and he never would’ve humiliated me by having some whore wear my old clothes in front of everybody I know!”

A pause. Kylo glimpsed you for only a second--saw your bleeding thumb--but did not respond.

Johana trembled, veins bulging in her neck, and she advanced on him. “Where’s my dress?” When he didn’t respond, she screeched, whirling on you. “Where is my dress!”

You were a statue, a worthy target of her ire, as she lunged and charged you, hand shooting for your hair. Kylo growled, snatched her wrist, and she wailed, jerking back, teeth bared in primal rage. He met her with dispassionate irritation as she twisted, yanked, shrieked in his grip, the rabbit now caged by the wolf.

“Let me go, Kylo!”

She flailed, tried to pry him off, whined as she failed to budge even a single finger. Wrath collapsed into resignation, and she groaned, desperation swelling and dying in her chest, recognizing the futility of it all. Clearing her throat, she took a deep breath, smoothed her hair with her free hand and straightened.

“Commander,” she said. “Please, let me go.”

He did, and she whipped her arm back, rubbing her wrist.

“Your dress has been returned to your closet,” he replied. “Where it belongs.”

It almost sounded as if he’d apologized, though that couldn’t be right. It wasn’t for her benefit, anyway, if he had--but you were still too numb to notice.

Johana blinked, then recovered, crossing her arms. “If you think that fixes anything, Sir, it doesn’t,” she said. “Really, just keep the dress wherever you want it. Throw it out, for all I care. I’m sleeping in the guest room down the hall tonight.” She leered at you. “Enjoy.” Then she turned on her heel and left.

The word enjoy made it seem as if you could imagine nothing better than spending another night with the man who had murdered your only confidant in front of you. Ofarmitage’s betrayal was forgivable--after all, it was your trust in your own Commander that had gotten her killed. The fact was, her only mistake had been that she hadn’t been sleeping with Kylo Ren. You two had been one in the same. Equally enslaved, equally naive, equally expendable. Had Hux gotten his way, you’d be the one with the broken neck.

In a way, you envied her.

Alone in the room with your Commander, you continued to sit, unable--unwilling--to make eye contact with him, studying instead the dry red river that had now trickled to your palm. The air was still, emptied even of awkwardness. There was nothing between you, right now, that you wanted to feel. Behind you, beyond the large bay window, mourning doves cooed their soft, sage song.

He shifted, his gaze razor wire, slicing your skin at the thought of being around him a second longer. Glaring at the floor, you stood, marching toward the exit. Kylo reached for your arm, and you dodged him like he was a poltergeist.

“Don’t touch me!” you spat, shrugging your shoulder as if to banish his curse.

You stalked through the halls and up the stairs, head pounding with your audacity. He didn’t try to follow you, and you were glad. A storm ravaged your mind--what was the point of this, or the point of anything?

Enslaved in the home of malevolence manifested, tainted. Terrorized. Everything and anything turned to sand in your mouth, pouring and pouring down your throat until you choked and sputtered and wept into a soundless void. There would be no reprieve from this, in this future or any other future, not as long as you remained you, stupid and gullible and more craven than shadows in sun.

No saints in Gilead indeed--and next to Kylo Ren, you were the worst of them; he’d held you in his blood-soaked hands and stained you with his sins. You were worse than unforgivable.

You were unsalvageable.

When you made it to your room, you slammed the door, ripped your wings and bonnet from your hair, and threw yourself on the bed, smothering your face with your pillow.

There was no screaming, no tears--you held the pillow to your nose and mouth, sucking in nothingness, willing whatever black wraith that controlled your fate to guide you out of this hell and the next. You had no hope for heaven, you decided, if it existed--you’d been to bed with a barbarian, sought solace in his arms, spoiled your soul under his spell. You deserved nothing but utter damnation.

Another deep breath of nothing, and another, lack of oxygen burning behind your eyes, your lungs starved--just a little longer, and you’d pass out. Yet despite your self-loathing, the base of your brain kicked in, hijacking your intent, and you rolled over gasping, staring at the ceiling as static sizzled in your sight.

As you heaved, seconds tumbled into minutes, the desire for self-destruction crumbling with it. A soft sigh escaped. Killing yourself would do nothing but award Gilead another body. If anything, you would live out of spite, denying it the satisfaction of your surrender.

In fact, you’d do more than live out of spite. You’d do what you promised. You’d get the blade with Snoke’s blood and you’d turn it over to the Resistance the second you had a chance.

The resolution brought a calm to your chest. The rest of the day whittled away as you did nothing but lie in bed, apart from eating your quick lunch and dinner in silence. Neither Johana nor your Commander made an appearance throughout your day and into the night, allowing you some time to process. Staring into your ceiling, you picked at your thumb again, peeling the scab.

It was difficult to put into words what you felt for Kylo Ren, but you knew that whatever it was, it had been unlike anything you’d ever experienced, before Gilead or after. The sexual chemistry was one thing, of course, but there was something greater than that, something almost irrevocable. It was the vestiges of compassion in his eyes, the throttled tenderness in his hands, the buried loneliness, his persistent phantom--the phantom that knew you, too.

More shredding of skin, a rush of release shot through your veins. That was the fact that most attracted and disturbed you, the fact that bound you together, the fact that tore you apart--the fact that in the depths of Gilead’s despair, you’d found each other, seen the other with needle-sharp clarity, both born into an unspoken but magnetic understanding.

You’d peered into the pits of his pain, he’d held you, helpless and fractured. He’d been your savior, your asylum, your normality; you’d grounded him and challenged and incited him. And despite this ethereal intimacy that wove between you--

Kylo Ren had deceived you and bound you to insanity, eliminated all avenues of escape--except through him. He was a beast unleashed, devouring his prey and his protectors alike in a gambit to possess it all. He was agony and rage, seeking a home. Kylo Ren was a man so long tormented by demons that he had finally become one.

And you truly, unconditionally hated him.

You stared at your ravaged thumb through the darkness, your blood black in the moonlight. Crickets hummed in harmony outside. In the hall, footsteps creaked the floorboards. Long, strong strides. Your heart seized, face hot. Your door opened.

Kylo Ren--your mirror, your spectre, your Commander--stepped through and closed it behind him. Under the glow of stars, his beauty was a black hole, celestial and sinister, hauling you toward complete annihilation.

“I haven’t seen you,” he said. “All day.”

“I haven’t wanted you to see me.”

“You’re angry.” He stepped forward, inspecting your face. “Your life was endangered. You know that.”

Sighing, you refused to meet his eyes, focusing on your gnarled cuticle. “You made me watch her die.”

“It was important that they see where you stand.”

You balked. “What? Where I stand?”

“Your importance,” he said. “To Gilead. To me.” He paused. “And that attempts to disrupt that will not be tolerated.”

“But I’m disrupting Gilead,” you said. “You’re okay with tolerating that?” Sitting up, you shook your head. “You know from the party last night that I’m still working with the Resistance. Shouldn’t I be killed?” You pried more dry skin from your thumb--pain daggered up your wrist. “Don’t you want to hang--”

“Stop.”

You frowned. “Answer my question, or don’t tell me what to do,” you replied. “I’m not different than Ofarmitage. I fucked you. I even--” The word stuck in your throat, a rock. “I even cared about you.” You sighed. “She wanted more with her Commander. She did what she had to do to get it.” Your nails were caked with blood. “Just like I did.”

Kylo stepped toward your bed. “Whether or not she is different is unimportant,” he said. “She is not you. She threatened you--threatened me.” He paused. “It won’t happen again.”

Hot indignation coursed through you. “What, so she’s just… a sacrifice?”

He came closer. “She was an example.”

“She was a person!” you snapped. “ She had--she had a life!” Your body shook with anger. “You killed her! And now no one will know. No one will know who she was.” Despair coiled your chest. “I didn’t even know her name.”

Kylo Ren was silent. His gaze wandered the room, lingering on the vacant window, your red cheeks, and settled on the floor, lids falling in a slow blink. He ground his teeth in thought, following the lines of the floorboards, tracking their notches. The knot in his throat bobbed, and he blinked again. A tiny exhale escaped his nose. Slowly, his focus returned to you.

“It’s… unfortunate,” he said. “But if protecting your life means that others die in your place, then so be it.”

You shook your head, folding your arms over your chest. “You don’t get to kill just because it pleases you.”

“Pleases me?” His eyes widened, a nameless turmoil bubbling to life within them. “Little bird,” he hissed, “I have no choice.”

“You keep saying that,” you replied, “but you’re wrong. You’ve had choices this entire time. I’m the one without a choice! I’m the one stuck here, under you!”

He edged closer, tone like a knife. “There is no choice regarding your safety.”

“But people aren’t expendable!”

Kylo Ren pounced, cornering you, fist slamming the wall. “There was nothing to me but Gilead!” His voice was living death. “Now there is you.” His chin trembled, teeth bared. “And I will keep you alive at the expense of existence itself.”

You stared at him--looming over you, agonized anguish behind his gaze--remembering the man you’d seen the night before, the man whose eyes found you when you’d woken in the morning, the man who’d said your name. Then there was the masked monster pulling the lever, the machine who’d massacred his leader’s mansion, the Commander who’d deserted his duty. Kylo Ren was all of these men--and all of them had done all of it for you.

Swallowing, you dug into your cuticle, popping another twig of flesh free and tearing at it. “You disgust me.” You weren’t sure if you were speaking to him or yourself.

A long, slow breath left him, his chest deflating.

“The worst part of this is that I understand why you did it.”

He eased back, looking between you and your mangled thumb. “You do.”

“Yeah.”

You’d kept the Resistance at arm’s length, paying less than lip service, avoiding their inquiries, denying them information that could liberate not just you, but thousands. Even after he’d killed Poe. Your loyalty likely came at the expense of other lives you didn’t know. At the time, it felt like you didn’t have a choice. Who else was dying, now, because of your reluctance? You supposed if you hated him, you hated yourself, too.

“I guess I’m still just… you.”

You drove your nail into your leision, seeking more thin skin, blood smudging your fingers. Having done that, you flayed another layer, twitching as capillaries were rended raw. Kylo sat at the foot of your mattress, watching you work.

“You’re hurting yourself.”

You shrugged. “I could do worse.”

He caught your hand, pulling you from your self-mutilation, and examined it, rotating your wrist. Holding you in his gaze, he brought your bloody thumb to his mouth and pressed his lips to it, a salve of devotion--and then guided it inside, sealing it between his teeth. Your breath stalled, pulse paralyzed as he sucked, tongue sliding up and around the tender wound, cleaning the crimson new and old. Shivers scampered over you, and he purred in soft satisfaction, laving your sensitive pad, dragging his teeth over the knuckle before pulling it free.

“My bed is open to you.” He kissed your thumb again, his affection like anesthesia. “Come lie with me.”

“Lie with you.” The words withered in your throat. No, you didn’t hate yourself--you didn’t even hate him. But this game of hopeless passion had become too deadly, too personal. You were done playing. “I don’t want to.”

He blinked. “You don’t.”

Frowning, you met his eyes, and found a terrified tempest howling behind them. Your hands quaked; you remembered the wisp of him on your lips, dew drops of worship in your ear, the wholeness you’d felt in his embrace. It thrashed in your chest, luminous and blooming into your blood. And you would sooner dessicate your veins than admit it was there at all.

“No.” You tore your hand from him, cradling it to your chest. “I don’t.”

He didn’t move. His eye twitched. “Come.”

“No.” Staring at the wall, you steeled your jaw. “Just… go away. Leave me alone.”

Kylo Ren swallowed, fear a fog in his gaze. With rash-red lips, he murmured your name.

Heat rushed your spine. You shook your head. “Don’t call me that anymore.”

Silence. He shifted on the bed. “Please.”

You speared him with a glare. “Get out of my room, Commander.”

Kylo looked to your hand, still clutched to your heart, and to your face, searching for something in the quiet of the night. Then he stood, staring out into the yard, fingers tensing. After a moment without a word, he turned, opened the door, and disappeared into the hall.

You collapsed into bed, gaze chained to the ceiling. Without him, ache filtered back through your body, your thumb now throbbing in pain. Hot shame streaked through you. Eyes closed, you pressed it to your mouth, futilely trying to taste his lips.

#kylo ren smut #kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren #kylo trash #little bird #handmaid au #fanfiction problems #I just love being sad...

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aquarianwisp · 6 years

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What do I have in my witchy cupboard?

Got asked a while back what witchy stuff I usually had on hand. So here is my list! Keep in mind that I didn’t get this together all at once and I have spent quite an extensive amount of money on my witchcraft. All of the things I have, I have built up over time, usually spending 50 dollars here and there. So don’t feel intimidated to have it all. Usually certain ingredients call to me before I buy them or even have much interest in them. Which is quite amusing. Because sometimes I wake up and then out of the blue I start thinking about buying lodestone dust. Randomly. Please note that I work as a healer, so a lot of the tools I have a geared towards healing. - HERBS A majority of my witchy stuff is herbs. I love using herbs to create certain intentions, for burning, creating oils etc. I really built up a good collection of herbs by buying those “starter herb” witchy packs that you can buy at online witchcraft stores. They come normally with somewhere between 5 to sometimes 20 different herbs depending on how much you can afford. And while the packets are small, you don’t need to use a lot at all for most things. I will add a list later of all the herbs I have on hand and their uses, as it is quite extensive. - RESINS Resins are a wonderful tool to work with but do require some tools to burn them such as charcoal or camphor discs and usually a special burner. My witch tip here is to use an oil burner instead. I really dislike the smell of charcoal and camphor, so I use a little oil burner instead and burn them with the heat of a little tea light. This way, the resin doesn’t get too hot and burn, and there is no acrid smell created. It can make the oil burner a little difficult to clean out, but hot water, detergent and a scouring sponge will do the job. Resins are used to conjure spirits, speak with spirits, clear energies, and prep the room for spell work by raising the vibrations. They usually smell quite different to the incenses that are named after them. The resins I usually have on hand are: Frankincense: Raises vibrations, creates a sacred and holy atmosphere, cleanses negativity, invites contact from angels and deities. Frankincense comes in different colours, usually black, white, green and amber, and each has a slightly different aroma. Copal: Powerful stuff. Spanks bad spirits out of a room. That’s the only way I can describe it. Has a sharp energy at first but leaves behind a beautiful peaceful atmosphere. Copal is a beautiful offering to leave sun deities, as it resonates a lot of fiery and sun like energy. Dragons blood: A bit more of a costly tool to have, I normally buy some good quality stuff for about $7 for 10 grams. Creates quite a full energy- quite romantic and nourishing. Good for healing and creating self love. Myrrh: Works well along side frankincense to create a spiritually charged atmosphere, but clears away negative energies that may block the third eye. Opoponax: Fantastic for meditation, helps one to see reality and truth. Mellows out and balances emotions. Really good tool for those with anxiety or a mental illness. Sandalwood: Natural sandalwood actually smells amazeballs. It has a wonderfully vanilla fragrance. This is also quite a costly tool since the sandalwood trees are endangered at the moment. Sandalwood creates a really wonderfully sacred atmosphere, most deities really like it. Keep in mind to purchase ethically. -SMOKE CLEANSES Smoke cleanses are a powerful tool to clear out negative energies. Usually I combine them with an incense cleanse afterwards to reinvigorate the atmosphere. Usually I have the below on hand: Sage: Burnt to rid negative energies, particularly good at removing earth bound spirits and spiritual attachments in the lower levels of a person’s aura. Can also be used after a fight or after a lot of emotional energy is created in a room. Make sure to purchase from ethical sources, as the new age movement has kinda endangered this species quite badly. Cedar: Burnt to remove bad energies after moving house. Particularly good to remove ghosts that have been somewhere for a very long time. Juniper: Just be warned that this smells like armpits when burnt. Really powerful for removing bad spirits. Perhaps they don’t like the smell of armpits, so try not showering for a few days as well XD It also creates happy chilled vibes, so a good tool to use after a depressive episode or a panic attack. Rosemary: Burnt after someone has been sick in a room. Gets rid of negative energy from the illness and creates a warm inviting atmosphere for healing and getting better. Sweet grass: Attracts good spirits and purifies an area or person spiritually. Really good for cleansing the chakras above the crown in the upper levels of the aura. Palo santo: Good for clearing away negative energy in the auras that blocks someone from connecting spiritually. Clears away flu symptoms and eases depression symptoms with it’s uplifting citrusy fragrance. - BLESSING POWDERS Blessing powders are something I make out of my ingredients I have on hand which really help in my healing rituals. I use them to bless particular chakras, create a healing intention, or I anoint the hair line on clients with these powders after a healing is done. Basically it’s like leaving a party with a party bag to me. Make them into a paste only when you are ready to use them, as they will dry out and harden if made ahead of time. General blessing powder: This is an all purpose blessing powder I use. Made with crushed dried egg shells, white hojari frankincense resin, highlighter makeup palette (Makes things shimmery!), and myrrh resin. All of the ingredients are crushed into a fine powder and placed into a container. The container is sealed and blessed with water and the smoke of oak moss and sage. Store it away with a gold coin on top of the lid. When you want to use it, mix in a drop or two of white lotus essential oil (in a carrier) and create a paste to apply to the body. Sandalwood paste: Purchase some sandalwood powder from an Indian grocery and mix with a little water or ghee to create a fragrant paste. Will call down the energy of the universe into the body where the paste is placed. Really powerful for healing the third eye or crown chakra. Leave in powder form until ready to use, as it will dry out and become hard. Rose paste: You can get dried rose powder in herb stores online. Mix with rose water and anoint someones third eye with the paste to help them understand their beauty and worth. Really good for healing someone with a past life that involved wars and battles. Turmeric and ginger paste: (THIS WILL STAIN THE SKIN) Really good tool for healing the root, sacral, and solar plexus chakras. Mix turmeric and ground ginger powders together. When ready to use, mix in some water and a couple of drops of ginger or galangal essential oil in a carrier. Try not to make this one too wet, it works best if it retains a gritty earth like texture. Good tool for grounding and awakening the instincts. -OILS and WATERS I am an aromatherapist so oils are really quite important. I have not only a collection of essential oils (list coming later) but oils of my own creation which I use in rituals. Third eye oil: A combination of olive oil, rose essential oil, rose petals, lavender, rosemary and dandelion. All herbs can be easily harvested from a garden for this one. Allow ingredients to steep in oils under the full moon to help this oil become potent. Will assist in divination, connecting to spirits, ancestors, and seeing visions. Solomons seal oil: Literally just solomons seal steeping in olive oil. I use this for sealing energy, particulary in reiki attunements and also in spells. I do this just by dipping my fingers in the oil and drawing the seal symbols. Balm of Gilead: Really good for massage and healing minor ailments. Mix balm of gilead with olive oil and allow to steep for 4 weeks. Mix in melted beeswax and allow to set. War Water: Mix iron nails into a jar of water. I like to leave this out when Mars is visible in the night sky for an extra kick. Angel blessings: Purified water mixed with clear quartz chips, frankincense, myrrh and rosemary essential oil. Spray over self or objects. Space clearing: Purified water, salt, frankincense essential oil, palo santo oil. You can also mix in sage if you desire. Curse removing: Purified water, Angelica essential oil, basil oil, obsidian chips, sandalwood essential oil, salt, rose oil. -INCENSES AND CANDLES If I listed all my incenses here, you’d be little old shriveled up blobs by the time I finished. Basically, I gathered incenses for almost every intention I could think of. I even go for those incense blends like “money drawing” or “Love” etc. I also have candles in all possible colours. However, for a starter witch I suggest getting the rainbow colours plus black and white for your candles, and for incenses you can never fail with a bit of sandalwood, frankincense, lavender and vanilla. -BONES Bones are a really great tool to use to communicate with spirits of animals or ancestors. My ancestor shrine is covered in bones and shells that I have collected or purchased. You can anoint the bones with sandalwood paste or redden them with ochre to draw down and keep the spirit bound. You can also anoint them with oils to bless them and make them an inviting place. Bones really like to be sung over, it seems to invigorate their energy. -SHELLS AND OTHER BITS AND BOBS Sometimes I just see stuff and collect it because I like it or it connects me to an energy. Leaves, rocks, bones, shells, pine cones, dried flowers. Whatever I find around the streets or find sitting in a store.

I hope this helps!!

#Witch #witchcraft #healing #healer

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zapierrss · 4 years

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2 Kings 10

Jehu kills Ahab’s sons

Ahab had seventy sons in Samaria, so Jehu wrote them letters and sent them to the city rulers, city representatives, and Ahab's sons' guardians. The letters said, "Because your superior's sons are with you and you have plenty of battle gear, as soon as you read this, choose the best and fittest of your superior's sons to to fight me for the throne." That left them terrified, and they said, "What? If the two kings couldn't defeat you, then we won't even stand a chance." So the palace manager, city governor, city representatives, and guardians all wrote back, saying, "We are your subordinates, and we'll do anything you ask, but we don't want to nominate any of the sons. Do whatever you see fit." Then he sent them a second letter, saying, "If you really are on my side and want to obey me, then take the sons' heads and bring them to me at Jezreel this time tomorrow." Now all seventy of the king's sons were being raised by some of the city's strongest men, and as soon as they got this letter, they took the king's sons and slaughtered them, putting their heads in baskets and sending them to Jezreel. When the messenger told Jehu about the delivery, he said, "Put them in two piles near the city gates and leave them there till morning." Then in the morning he went and stood in front of everyone and said, "You all are innocent. I was the one who conspired against my superior and killed him, but who was the one who killed all of these? Let it be known that the Existing One's message has been fulfilled concerning Ahab's lineage. The Existing One has done what he told us through his servant Elijah." So Jehu struck down everyone who remained of Ahab's lineage in Jezreel: all his strong men, his close friends, and his priests, until none of them were left.

Jehu kills Ahaziah’s supporters

Then he left and traveled to Samaria. On his way, he stopped at Beth-eked of the Shepherds where he met the relatives of Judah's King Ahaziah. He asked them, "Who are you?" and they answered, "We are Ahaziah's relatives, and we came to visit the royal princes and the queen's sons." He ordered his servants, "Take them alive," and they were taken and slaughtered all forty-two of them in the pit of Beth-eked.

Jehu kills Ahab’s supporters

When he left there, Jehonadab (Rechab's son) came up to meet him. Jehu greeted him and asked, "Is your heart aligned with my heart like mine is to yours?" And Jehonadab answered, "It is." Jehu said, "If it really is, then give me your hand," so he gave him his hand, and Jehu helped him up into the chariot. He said, "Come with me and see my passion for the Existing One." So he had him ride along in his chariot, and when they got to Samaria, he struck down everyone there who remained loyal to Ahab till they had all been wiped out, just how the Existing One's message had said through Elijah.

Jehu kills Baal worshipers

Then Jehu gathered everyone together and said, "Ahab served Baal only a little bit, but Jehu will serve him much. So bring me all of Baal's prophets, his worshipers, and his priests. Make sure all of them are there, because I have a huge sacrifice to offer up to Baal. Whoever can't make it to this will be put to death." But Jehu said this craftily in order to get rid of all the Baal worshipers. Jehu ordered, "Make the preparations to host a Solemn assembly for Baal," so they announced it all throughout Israel, and every single Baal worshiper showed up, so that not a single one was missing. They all walked into Baal's temple, and filled it from one end to the other. He told the wardrobe manager, "Give ceremonial robes to every Baal worshiper here," so robes were provided for all of them. Then Jehu went into Baal's temple with Jehonadab (Rechab's son) and said to all of Baal's worshipers "Look around and make sure that no one who worships the Existing One is here, but only Baal worshipers." Then they went in to offer sacrifices and burt offerings.

Now Jehu had stationed eighty men outside and told them, "If you let anyone escape, it will cost you your life." So as soon as the burnt offering had been made, Jehu told the officers, "Go in and kill them; don't let a single person get away." So when they finished killing them, they brought the bodies outside. Then they went to the most sacred room in the temple and took the sacred pillar and burned it. They destroyed the pillar, and they destroyed the temple, converting it into the toilet that still remains to this day.

So that's how Jehu wiped out Baal from Israel, but he didn't turn away from the golden calves that were in Bethel and Dan, which led Israel to offend God. These were the same ways that Jeroboam (Nebat's son) offended God. And the Existing One told Jehu, "Because you have done what is right in my eyes and have carried out everything that was in my heart towards Ahab's lineage, your sons will sit on Israel's throne for four generations." But Jehu wasn't careful to follow the Existing One's law with his whole heart. He never turned from the offenses of Jeroboam, which caused Israel to offend God.

Jehoahaz becomes Israel’s king

In those days the Existing One began to sever parts of Israel. Hazael conquered several parts of the country east of the Jordan River, including Gilead, Gad, Reuben, and Manasseh. He conquered the area from the town of Aroer by the Arnon Gorge all the way north to Gilead and Bashan. Now the rest of Jehu's history including everything he did and all his victories are recorded in the book the Chronicles of the Kings of Israel. So Jehu slept with his fathers in the ground, and they buried him in Samaria. His son Jehoahaz reigned in his place. Jehu had reigned over Israel from Samaria for a total of twenty-eight years.

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serenagaywaterford · 5 years

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1) Feel free to keep rambling! Not only I love talking with level-headed fandom people, but our opinions seem to converge (even if my wording comes off as weird/wrong because of Tumblr's word limit). Anyway. I had many issues with S2, besides Serena's arc I mean (I'll get back to her). Blessed be the goddamned plotholes! Fred becomes a cockroach that just won't die (Red Center), because he's essential to the plot. Same goes for Aunt Lydia. (Although I'm kinda glad that she's alive, because

2) I LOVE Dowd’s acting and I’m excited about her background story.) Emily comes back from the Colonies and is smfh 100% healthy. Moreover, Gilead has been surprisingly lenient with Fred and Serena’s constant fuckups in S2 (mutilated fingers aside). June won’t leave with Emily, bc MOTHERHOOD (more like there’s a s3 on the horizon and drama is needed). And don’t get me started on that slow pace. The beginning and the finale were explosive of course,but some mid-season episodes?

3) They were dragging on and on. Examples? 2x11, where only 2 things happen: a) June gives birth to Nicole, b) Fred and Serena make it clear that they want to tear each other apart (duh). The only redeeming qualities of that episode was the wolf symbolism and the excellent cinematography. I get it, the series is successful and has more seasons ahead. But if only they had squeezed some episodes, it would have been so much better.

—-

OMG YAY!!! I’m gonna answer these in pieces since I’ll prolly flood a giant essay otherwise. Cos, lbr, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear I had multiple personalities and was secretly sending these to myself from a fugue state, that’s how much we agree! Cos I’ve just read through all your messages and sat here going “YES! YES!” lol. I think you, me, maybe 5 other people on tumblr, and 1 TV reviewer are of the same mindset and it’s such a relief to find others who are reasonable and critical about the show/Serena.

Yes, Fred not dying was just so fucking stupid I couldn’t deal. Like, it’s not even like, “Well, he didn’t die which is crazy but he’s horribly injured and disfigured cos I dunno, he was like 15 feet FROM A MASSIVE BOMB EXPLODING.” But noooo. Instead we get Fred in hospital with a scratchy throat for like a few weeks, and when he comes back he’s got a little bit of a limp. No burns, nothing. And, to top it off, he’s got all the strength and balance of a perfectly healthy man to whip the shit out of his wife. I get they needed to get him out of the way and out of service so Serena and June could have all sorts of treasonous hi-jinks together but surely… they could have considered having Fred not 15 feet from the bomb. It killed handmaids that were way farther away than that. Just a thought. Deffo an eye-roll moment.

Aunt Lydia I’m less irritated about simply cos, like you, I love Ann Dowd and think she’s done a fab job. And we honestly haven’t got enough of her backstory and I wanna know that too. I think this show can only really captivate if it tells ALL the women’s stories, not just the victims. Like how does a woman become an Aunt? How do they justify that? Or is it simply a type of socio-religio-politcal brainwashing, akin to a lot of Nazi Party supporters? Is she a True Believer? Like, honestly, wtf is up with her? Like, cos so many of us can empathise with the Handmaids and we understand how that came about–but it takes more sides to tell a full story. So, Aunt Lydia being back… I’m not too fussed about. I really do consider Emily so damaged that I would never trust her with a baby–but that’s me. She’s been so broken, so traumatized, and like I don’t blame her at all ofc, but she needs softness and patience and no stress ever again. Like, she is not well emotionally by any stretch.

Which leads into the Colonies bullshit. That was just really bad writing. She, Janine, etc, were there for MONTHS. Like, June ran away and was gone for 92 days (Thanks for that count, Serena!). And then add on whatever time passed between her being returned to the Waterfords house and when Lilly set off the bomb. That is a long ass time to be splashing about in radioactive waste. Emily’s teeth were falling out, right? Like, how she went from literally dying of radiation poisoning to “Totally healthy enough to pop out some totally healthy babies!” I’ll never understand. The loss of the Handmaids in the bombing isn’t a good enough reasoning. A dictatorship like Gilead could easily have just conscripted a bunch of Econowives with the sweep of a pen. That is how these militant theocracies work. They’re already half-indoctrinated anyway. It was dumb to put Emily and Janine there in the first place if you knew they had to come back, as they are main cast members.

I always thought Fred and Serena were getting away with too much but I wrote it off as Fred (and Serena lbr) being a HUGE part of bringing about Gilead in the first place so they get some leeway. But then, you see Warren and Cushing being dealt with fairly severely for basically hearsay. (Okay, Warren’s I get cos you had outcry from Janine in a massively public display and backup from Naomi.) I guess because Fred/Serena’s fuckups were a little more ~private, they could excuse/lie about them/cover them up them easier? Cushing was dealt with way to easily. Like… no. “Fred” signs some paper and suddenly Cushing is being disappeared immediately. I suppose Fred took over Pryce’s place in the hierarchy? Who knows. And from what I understand, nobody in SOJ knew about June’s escape to the big country house. But c’mon, one Handmaid kills herself, the new one another starting shit every where she goes with other Handmaids and is pals with two of the most notorious other Handmaids (Emily and Janine), then is “kidnapped”, is partners with the bomber, then runs away again, then again… Sigh.

June not leaving… I just… it was so obvious that she wouldn’t cos otherwise there is no show. But why bother with all that drama then. Like, what if Emily hadn’t been there??? June had no way of knowing she’d be meeting up with Emily. She would have just dumped Nicole in some van and run back? Ugh.

And the pace was bad. ITA. There are whole episodes I don’t even bother with on rewatches. I thought the season premiere was great, then it fell of a cliff and lost my interest until about the 5th episode? Then it got going nicely (altho 2x07 wasn’t great either), then took another nosedive in 2x10 and sort of coasted almost aimlessly until the finale. I don’t like to hate on June but honestly the really 100% June-centric episodes bore the shit out of me. 2x02/03 and 2x11 being the biggest culprits. I’m just tired of the excessive use of flashbacks that all basically say the same thing now. And Moss is a great actress but there’s such thing as too much of a good thing. Not to mention, Nick and June bore me to tears as well (SACRILEGE! Send the indignant rabid fangirls on a rampage into my inbox!) so when there’s a lot of focus on that clusterfuck of inanity, I tune out. I can’t help it. I find them so annoying lol. (Which is were I usually lose common ground with basically everyone in this fandom cos everyone loves Nick for some reason I just cannot understand. If you like him, I apologise! I just can’t. I liked him more at the beginning but as it’s gone on the less I give even the slightest shit about him.)

Also, like I found 2x02 and 2x03 to just be… a waste of time? Like, okay, we got to see the Econopeople and how they live or whatever but to me, there was zero point to the whole thing because we all know June isn’t going to get away with it. So, why waste 2 whole episodes building to something everyone knows ain’t happening just for the sake of some worldbuilding that I’m guessing could have been done some other more cogent way? 2x04 was basically just to show more breaking June down in various ways. Then 2x05 was just to show the Colonies and had a lot of filler in it about that. I still don’t understand the point of the “wedding” bits. It wasn’t uplifting or hopeful at all. It was still really dark, like killing the Wife. I only really liked watching Serena go apeshit because her babyslave isn’t making proper gossipy conversation. It’s just an interesting angle cos finally Serena gets what she asks for with a super obedient Offred, and low and behold, it actually sucks and she wants June back. Story of Serena’s life and she never fucking learns lol. And Aunt Lydia flexing on Serena was hilarious. I just enjoy watching them go head to head. Not to mention the grotesque child brides thing. Gross. Super gross. Like, a bunch of stuff happened but I’m not convinced it needed to be dragged out over 4 episodes like that. Not to mention it was all really depressing. I remember watching and going, “JESUS, this show is fucking depressing. Why am I torturing myself?”

But yeah, 2x11 was super slow and all the important things that happened (that you listed) could have taken 10 minutes. Like I get too that she had to see Hannah in order to… make her decision in the finale make sense??? Was that the reason? I still don’t know. All of this could have been dealt with way more quickly and with just as much emotional gravity had it been done well.

I really like Moira but she’s been given shit all to do. I liked how we got a little insight into her and Odette. A LITTLE. But a huge weakness is that the Toronto peeps are so divorced from the drama that it often seems, not pointless, but something like it. It definitely slows the pace down to a crawl. That’s why I thought 2x09 worked well because it married both worlds. (I will never understand why 1x07 exists the way it does. What a stupid episode. I do not care about Luke’s journey, tbh. I’m here for the women–good, evil, or inbetween; not an entire episode devoted to him–especially not when we could have had Moira’s instead. I accept that his is intertwined with June’s attempted escape but… meh. It’s just like I will never care about Nice Guy TM Nick’s backstory or character. I don’t care about Fred’s childhood, or Warren’s marriage, or Luke’s manbabying, or Nick’s manpain. Eek.)

I dunno. Personally I think it could have been tightened up a bit better. But again, what do I know? I’m just a viewer. I’m sure other viewers have completely the opposite opinion.

#rants and raves #Anonymous

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heksbabe · 7 years

Text

The basics of herbs

I have spent the last few days reading and here’s the basics of what i found out!

Herbs have enormous magical power, because they hold the earth’s energy in them. Each herb has unique properties that can enhance one’s magical goals. Herbs also may have medicinal properties. You can draw from the herbs when performing a spell, in cooking, baths, or anything else really.

If you grow herbs harvest them in the morning after the sun has dried the dew but before the heat of the day sets in. Use a sharp magical knife (a bolline) to cut herbs; the knife should be consecrated specifically for this purpose. Thank the plant for its gift, and offer it something in return, perhaps some water, organic fertilizer or mulch. Harvest only the amount of herbs needed, except when pruning the plants, to ensure healthy growth for the following season.

Something else I have learned is that roots - often the most magically potent part of the plant - once chopped or powdered are fairly indistinguishable one from the other. It is not uncommon for unethical for ignorant vendors to substitute one root for another. If you need a distinct root, buy the whole root and grind and powder it yourself, even thought this can be difficult and time consuming. This is the only way to guarantee that you are receiving what you want. The only way to maintain control over what may be a pivotal ingredient.

The Unwritten Basics:

Certain herbs (or oils) act as a catalyst to other herbs. They provide the “kick in the pants” that power up the formula.

Other herbs act as “focusing” herbs. You combine various herbs into a formula and then add one of these herbs to bring them together and “focus” the intent.

Some herbs are “re-focusing”. They help to change the vibration in a given situation and shift it elsewhere.

Then there are herbs which are “Controlling, Compelling or Commanding” - used when you really need to assert your will over a situation.

And some herbs are “Power” herbs - they boost and enhance the witch’s own innate power.

Ague Weed: a protection herb. Also called “Boneset”. Agrimony: acts as a deflective shield; sends back bad vibrations Angelica: highly protective. In fact, sometimes too effective! Carry as an amulet. Also used in exorcism. Brewed into a tea and sprinkled in the corners of a house to keep evil away. Can be used at the beginning and closing of rituals for blessing and banishing. Also called “Archangel”. Anise: Raises vibrations to the highest possible psychic level. Good for bringing about changes in attitude (re-focusing), for astral travel, dreams, crystal gazing and meditation. In a pillow, it is said to keep away nightmares. For any type of clairvoyance or divination or mental exercises. Anisette (liquor) is used during Voodoo initiations to anoint the head. Apple/Apple blossoms - for love. Delicate, faintly seductive. More of an Invitation than a Proposition. Also used for peace and general contentment. Used for success. Add to the bath to aid relaxation. Also used for fertility Ash - Very protective, cleansing and refocusing. Asafetida: one of the strongest banishing herbs (also the stinkiest!) . Burned to drive away evil and destroy manifestations. Used for exorcism and purification. Alfalfa - for success in money matters. Used for money drawing and to insure against poverty. A traditional “luck” herb. Not powerful enough to be used alone, this herb “plays well with others” helping to reinforce other luck and money herbs while adding a bit of protective insurance. Allspice - a catalyst. Works on higher planes for good or evil. Tends to affect the mind and thoughts of the person on whom it’s used, for instance luck or success in the form of a brainstorm. Frequently employed in luck, love and psychic areas; also good for money and general success. Althea - (marshmallow root) mild and gently commanding. More of a “persuasion" herb. Burned in combination with other herbs, for example w/ roses and apple blossoms for a subtly forceful love incense. Said to be a particular favorite of “nice” spirits. Ambergris - (the real stuff is illegal and unethical to use! However, a good quality synthetic seems to work well) A strong sexual compellent. Used to lend power to other herbs. Bergamot- brings luck through intuition. Bistort - for success in financial matters Balm of Gilead: Highly protective power herb, especially in love matters. Energizing and grounding at the same time. Barberry - used for hexing. Brings bitterness, sourness. Sprinkled around the premises to bring bad vibes and quarrels. On the flip side, it is used with vetivert and Bay leaves to protect against bitterness - but that’s risky. Said to work for good grudgingly and delights in hexing. Bayberry -very powerful for hexing when combined with other hexing herbs. Casts a gloomy depression. Conversely it is also used for money and prosperity - especially collecting money that is owed. Often used as an Attraction oil for men. Basil - for money and success. Soak in water for 3 days, then sprinkle about a place of business. Also used for purification and protection and to remove obstacles in love and create harmony. Dispels melancholy and attracts friends. Bay: powerfully protective - even when used alone. Also a power and commanding herb. Used for banishing. In some traditions, used for hexing. Combined with other herbs for love and money rituals. Burned to induce visions. The leaves are put under a pillow for inspiration and prophetic dreams. Benzoin - added to other herbs to focus their energies and lend power. Used for communication and improving the thought processes. Combine with cinnamon for business success. Also used for purification. Can be added to an incense to heighten its effectiveness. Never add to hexing herbs! Bergamot - protection and prosperity. Brings luck through intuition. Used with other herbs to bring psychic and prophetic dreams. Betony: for banishing and removing negative energy. Blueberry: Protective and associated w/ treachery and deception. It does not return the treachery - just keeps it from reaching you. Bindweed: for binding another. It smothers the intentions of others. Used in both hexing and protection. Bistort: used for fertility (often carried to help concieve a child) Also used for money drawing when combined with Juniper and Allspice. Also good for divination. Borage: lends courage, uncovers dishonesty and helps conquer a situation Broom Tops: purification, protection, to raise and calm winds. Throw into the air to raise the wind; burn the herb to calm them. Also boiled in salt water and used to keep poltergeists and evil spirits away. Black Snakeroot: an X-rated love herb, often used by men. Also to destroy unwanted love (burn with artifacts of the person whom you want to leave you alone) Also burned with adam & eve root to make love spells more effective. Buchu leaves: used for psychic development Cherry blossoms: bring honesty Chamomile: excellent for luck, prosperity, money and gambling. (Wash your hands with the tea before playing cards.) Calms the nerves and gives energy in adversity. Often used in Uncrossing formulas. Caraway Seeds: protective, particularly in the area of health. In love - is said to attract a lover (in the physical sense) and cure fickleness. Also used to strengthen the memory. Carnation: protection and spicy energy. Add to a Power incense or toss into a formula where you want to “spice” things up a bit. Camphor: to totally cleanse and banish. Used to ward off unwanted advances from others, in healing and to stimulate psychic senses. Cardamom: a love herb, used for Romance. Has some commanding and compelling properties in the area of love. Also acts as a catalyst to other herbs. Civet: (another illegal and unethical oil. Again: use a good synthetic. It still works!) a commanding and compelling ingredient (especially in love). Powerful, non-selective . Often used in Power oil. Clove: a strong, forceful, compelling herb. Commanding. Acts as a catalyst when combined with other herbs. Used when force or power is required. Cinnamon: a catalyst that doesn’t mind baneful recipes. Used in money drawing, for concentration and spells for love and passion . Sometimes used in healing or clairvoyance. Cedar: psychic and protective. Has a way of keeping psychic channels open while protecting the operator. Use to anoint the 3rd eye. Cherry Blossoms: cheerfulness, light heartedness and good humor. Associated with honesty. Good for concentration in study. Capsicum (Cayenne): a catalyst of great strength and negativity. Chili powder works similarly, but has more to do with controlling that activating. Used to reverse evil and return it to the sender. Coriander: used for love, yet Very protective in these matters. Good for people who want a somebody, but aren’t sure who. Added to Perfect Mate recipes. Works for slow, steadily developing relationships. Citronella: for attraction. Good for attracting friends and business. Cumin: attracts peace & tranquility when sprinkled across doorways each Sunday before noon. Used also to control infidelity and in this way has a gently binding effect. Calamus rt: a controlling herb, powerful enough to be used alone or in combination with other herbs. Use to control a person or situation. Calendula: induces dreams. Used for legal difficulties and for money. Has a mild, gentle action. Add to the bath to win admiration and respect from others. Dogbane: swings both ways - it can be used to remove deception or to create it, depending on which herbs you combine it with. Deerstongue: one of the most widely used psychic herbs, it is fragrant, efficient and white magical in effect. Screens bad vibes. Often used by homosexuals to attract others (combined with musk, civet, ambergris and echinacea) Dill : has the ability to lull or defuse a situation. Often used to calm children. Devil’s Bit: commanding and compelling. May be used to command or compel love, luck or success depending on what it is combined with. Protective, it works similarly to Low John. Dragon’s Blood: Power and protection. Thought by many to only work for “good”. That’s nonsense! It’s uses are almost limitless. Elder: a commanding herb which influences a situation (or person) on a subtle but powerful level. Also highly protective. Elecampane: for love charms of all kinds. Eucalyptus: highly protective in all areas of health. Also used for purification. Eyebright: used for clairvoyance and to see fairies. Elm bark: stops slander and gossip. (the type I’m referring to here is called “Slippery Elm”) Fennel: a controlling herb and also a “twisting” herb. Better for removing hexes than protecting against them. It’s action is unpredictable. Use this when you want to effect a change in a situation. If you’re familiar with astrology, think of the influence of the planet Uranus here. Frankincense: associated with the male principle as Myrrh is associated with the female principle. A mixture of both in an incense creates a balance. It is a good “white” magical base to receive other herbs or oils. Often used for protection or in money drawing recipes. Long used as a divinatory offering, in consecration and to raise the spiritual vibrations of a place. It aids in meditation and is used to obtain blessings and general prosperity. Five Finger Grass: (cinquefoil) Old standby for money spells. In fact, most money incenses don’t seem to work as well without it. Combined w/ soot, it has been used for hexing. It has also been used for protecting. Often used as a bath herb toward this purpose. Works better for protecting against negative influences than removing them. Fenugreek: a seed of the sun, used for all manner of luck and success spells. Frangipani: an attraction or “drawing” herb. Use to bring things to you. Also used to command trust and gain the confidence of others. Foxglove: exposes lying and forces honesty. Grains of Paradise: carry strong luck connotations. Galangal: highly versatile and only slightly less powerful that High John or Jalap. Known as Low John, its action never proceeds in a straight line, but takes on unexpected twists and turns. It accomplishes its functions through devious means. Creates a powerful force for affecting change and is often used in legal difficulties. Ginger: basically a fiery catalyst but also used to induce passion. A good catalyst to add to formulas for romantic love. Geranium: used to lift the spirits and banish negativity. Protection, love, healing and fertility are all in the domain of this herb. Heliotrope: another sun herb. Carries a vibration of luck. Attracts wealth and protects against physical harm. Used in healing, clairvoyance and finding lost objects. Honey: binds and attracts, seduces. Often used in incense to bind the other ingredients. Honeysuckle: attracts friends, business and instills confidence. Used for money, prosperity and clairvoyance. Traditionally symbolizes the “bonds of love” and is excellent when working on a problem of infidelity. A potent and sneaky commanding ingredient - the iron fist in the velvet glove. Hawthorn: used for protection, purification and banishing. Some identified it as “the tree of hope” and to the Romans it symbolized marriage. Hazel: used for wands but also for reconciliation. Quickly lessens hostilities between people. Two twigs tied together w/ red or gold thread to form a solar cross were used for a good luck charm. Draw a circle around you with hazel if in need of protection. Used for fertility and wisdom and in divining rods for finding lost objects. Hemlock: one of the foremost hexing agents. Added to any oil or incense to change its meaning (for example to Luck oil to deny good luck) Hellebore: works similarly to henbane but likes to pull the rug out from under the operator so use with caution! Hyacinth: used to transmit on psychic planes a feeling of joy and playfulness. Frequently used as a follow-up to uncrossing rituals to replace negative vibes with positive ones. Attracts love, luck and brings peace of mind and restful sleep. Heather: protects. Hyssop: anointing, blessing, consecrating, protecting and purifying. Irish moss: a success herb w/ long term benefits. Slower in action but good for secure and steady growth of prosperity. Jasmine: essentially a seduction herb. More sexual than romantic. Symbolizes the mysteries of the night. Sometimes used for meditation, to relax, for dreams or even to aid in childbirth. In love recipes it is used lightly in combination with other ingredients unless you just want a sexual affair. Juniper berries: a power herb which happens to work quite well in areas of luck, good fortune and success. Legendarily associated with Jupiter, it is often used for male virility. Lavender: cleanses, protects and shields from bad vibrations and negativity. Used for uncrossing and love, it’s particularly effective in helping with marital problems or relationships. Soothes problems between parents and children and is an excellent protecting herb for babies and children. Lemon or Lemon blossoms: fiery, zesty and active. Often employed as a catalyst in luck recipes since it sets off other herbs. Also used for “drawing” or “attracting” something to you. Often used in love formulas both for attracting and repelling. Licorice: a commanding herb. Used by the Egyptians as an aphrodisiac. Lemon Verbena: a traditional luck herb, it has the ability to convert bad luck to good. It is positive, protective and cleansing. A strengthening herb added to others to give extra power. Also used as an “attraction” herb. Lemon Grass: used to aid psychic powers. A two-sided herb: on the one hand calming, good for deepening meditation or trance. Excellent to add to a general “Power” formula for general ritual work. On the other hand it has been used by some as a hexing herb primarily aimed at making someone’s life complicated and full of problems. Go figure! Lilac: good for inducing “far memory” and recalling past lives. Also good for clairvoyance in general. Brings peace & harmony. Excellent for uncrossing. Tends to promote the positive aspects in the herbs it’s combined with. Lobelia: Like most of the poisons, this expresses “hate” while other hexing herbs express “anger, contempt or dislike”. Results with herbs like this one are always nasty, but never predictable. Lotus: a common additive to psychic incenses. Said to reach the highest realms of mystical insight. Associated with Egyptian magic. Lily of the Valley: used for calming and blessing. Lime: To keep a lover faithful. Used by men for attracting women. Has some “drawing” or “attracting” abilities in other areas. Conversely, has also been used to “sour” a relationship. Lovage: an “Attracting” herb. Used to draw customers to a place of business or to attract others in general. The root acts as a catalyst to other herbs while exerting a stabilizing influence at the same time. An excellent love herb. The leaf is highly cleansing. Marjoram: protective - especially in matters of love. Often used in love and friendship charms or for protecting the house. Mint: a common additive to love incense - though I don’t know why since it tends to clear the head, not fog it. Spirits love the scent of mint and a dish set out will tend to attract them. Used in prosperity and money formulas. Also excellent for psychic matters and studying. Mistletoe: Although used in many love recipes, it is really a commanding/compelling herb. Used since ancient times for protection. Musk: (real musk is illegal and unethical to use. A good synthetic may be used instead) commanding and compelling, particularly in sexual areas. Help for self confidence, assurance and strength. Myrtle: love, fertility, protection and healing. Masterwort: power, strength and courage with good protective qualities. An excellent herb to use in plain “Power” formulas. Mimosa: a commanding herb which also inspires courtesy in others. Use to anoint purple candles. Used to bring prophetic dreams and in healing. Motherwort: a protecting herb which works almost Too Well - indeed, rather like a mother who will often protect you even against things you don’t want protecting from. Mugwort: clairvoyance, summoning spirits, manifestations, dreams and for consecrating any items used in this manner. Mullien: lends courage in difficult situations. Tends toward the “"somber side" often substituted for graveyard dust - often used when a matter needs to be "laid to rest” . Neroli: (bitter orange) a magnetic oil used for attracting. Orange or Orange Blossoms: attracting, drawing, used to bring things to you or into your life. Works better than lemon or lime in this sense, The blossoms especially are used in attracting love. Orris: a focusing herb, used to focus the power of other herbs it is combined with. Also used as a “love herb” Oakmoss: a power herb which belongs to Jupiter. Patchouli: an herb of power and manifestation, for materializing one’s wishes. Its job is to make things happen, to bring results “down to earth” quickly and powerfully. Used for lust or sensuality rather than love. It has no conscience of it’s own so combine carefully with other herbs. Often added to money formulas. Pennyroyal: Cleanses and protects. Brings harmony and is helpful in times of domestic unrest. Peppermint: use to create change and get things moving. Pine: excellent for cleansing and uncrossing, protecting or refocusing. Energizing and grounding at the same time. Poppy Seeds: for dreams, visions clairvoyance and dark moon activities. Also used for fertility and prosperity. Queen of the Meadow: helps create new opportunities Rose: love. What you mix with it determines the kind of love. Rosemary: binds things (or people) together in a loving, gentle manner. Used in pillows for dreams and visions. Also used for purification and protection, mental alertness and stronger memory. Often used in sea rituals. Rose Geranium: powerful protection and subtly commanding. Reverses misfortune and can be used with other herbs to bless a new home. Rue: highly protective. Guards against negative energies and gets things moving in a positive direction. Often used in consecration rituals. Sassafrass: Commanding and twisting. Used to free you of another’s power over you or in legal battles for a favorable outcome. Sandalwood: used to heighten spiritual vibrations, to cleanse, heal and protect. Often used to stimulate clairvoyance. (the rest of my notes on this one are too badly burned to decipher…) Slippery Elm: a highly focused protection herb, especially effective at controlling gossip or slander. Snakeroot: “psychic divorce" herb. Use when you want to be ride of a person or thing. St. Johnswort: emergency first aid protection herb. Works quickly to reverse negativity and quiet animosity or arguments between people. Tends to absorb and "ground" negative energies. Sweetpea: an attraction oil used to draw friends or lovers, loyalty and affection. Solomon’s Seal: an uncrossing herb associated with luck and wisdom. Brings hunches, intuition and dreams. Strawberry: used (sparingly) to draw fortunate circumstances into one’s life. Squill root: very powerful for money Thyme: a favorite with the spirits, it encourages positive vibrations and actions. Used for protection (especially from the negative energy of others), for courage and for cleansing. Tormentil: (blood root) a commanding herb that can be used for good or ill. Often used to command respect. Used equally often in cursing and protection and frequently in love matters. Tonka bean: combination of commanding and catalyst, often used for love or prosperity. Just plain lucky! Protects against poverty. Vanilla: a compelling herb, used in areas of love and money especially. In love, it acts on a more physical level - lowering the guard, lulling the senses and subtly seducing. Vetivert: (khus khus) Excellent for uncrossing, protecting, cleansing and then refocusing. Technically a power herb, it may be used to strengthen hexing formulas but its greatest ability is in Un-hexing. Powerful and efficient. Violet: (Old fashioned sweet violet) for truth. Guards against deception and creates an atmosphere of trust and honesty.

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