#I just read a fic where they made her a toxic ex and it pissed me off | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frecklystars · 1 year

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Holy shit. Thank you guys for all of the asks. I got exactly 50!

I meant to respond to them when I got home from work last night, but I didn’t have enough energy by the time I was done reading these. I’m still incredibly exhausted today, it’s like all of the energy is completely sapped out of me since I was in the emergency room the other day.

The heavy ache in my chest definitely lessened while I was focused on reading what you guys wrote last night. The reminders that my TF F/Os still love me is something I really need to hear, something I probably have to tell myself multiple times... I spent so long being conditioned to believe otherwise.

A few of you also reminded me that Starscream had gone through heavy abuse, and he wouldn’t support someone who treated me the way Megatron treats him. It helped me feel better... I think that’s what got through to me the most. I’ve seen so many commissions/fics my ex-friend showed me where she was being manipulative, and that she would be loved for it. Seeing all of that visual representation of her being so tenderly loved by these characters while she was hurting me at the same time, for so many months, it really did some damage and made me internalize the belief that all transformers characters would want to hurt me the same way and love her for it. Especially when the characters she commissioned and talked about the most often were forming into PTSD triggers. For almost a year now, I have just assumed that all of those characters she wrote and commissioned, including Starscream, would encourage her to hurt me and that they would love to see me getting hurt. I don’t choose to feel this way, it’s just... trauma.

But a few of you wrote about how... canonically, Starscream was so fucking pissed when he was abused, especially in RiD2015!! He was so broken up and angry just like I am!! His entire 3 episodes focused on him repeating how unfairly he was treated, how much he wanted to hurt Megatron for all the times he was put through emotional/physical pain, how years had passed since he escaped being tied to his abuser and yet he was so, so angry and still worried that he wasn’t strong enough bc that is what he was conditioned to believe for millions of years. I want to think that same bot would look at me and see himself in me, and hold my hand through this and tell me it’s gonna be okay and it’s gonna get better and he’d never want to treat me the way my abuser treated me. How could he bear it if his little starflower looked at him the way that he looks at Megatron? I don’t want to think he would support my abuser’s actions, no matter how many fics or commissions she has stating otherwise. When I escaped a toxic situation with someone else 3 years ago, I turned to Starscream for this exact same reason, I looked to him for support. He helped me get through it. Now, I need him again after facing treatment that was absolutely horrific, except I’ve been conditioned to believe he would hurt me too; I just feel so sad when I look at him and I wish I could feel loved by him again. It’s been really, really, really hard. Hearing other people tell me that he loves me and would never want to hurt me really helps, I need to be reminded of that, because I absolutely can’t believe it when I try to tell myself.

I’m sorry I’m not able to respond to your asks at the moment, I’m extremely exhausted from. everything. Today has been difficult as well so I will be offline for the rest of the night. I don’t know if I’ll be online tomorrow.

I’m not 100% sure when the commissions will open up, I was really hoping it would happen this week but I didn’t expect to have that panic attack Tuesday, it really drained me. I am hoping that I’ll have comms open by next week, it all depends on how I’m feeling. I might spend more time offline to limit seeing any potential triggers bc I’ve been very fragile since I went to the emergency room, things that normally wouldn’t make me spiral before are probably things that I will have more trouble handling right now, at least until I can calm down again. Normally it takes me about 3 to 5 days to calm down from a severe panic attack like that. But I gotta spend another $400 on new glasses tomorrow morning so... I really do need to open comms soon :’) They will absolutely be open within the next 2 weeks, I just don’t know exactly when. Anyway, thank you guys again for the nice messages, I really needed them and you helped me feel less alone last night ❤

#woof #and all of the asks were nice!!! thank you!!!#im sorry i gotta turn anon back off :(#i didnt get any bad messages or anything but im just cautious #dw i wont keep anons off forever. some of u were asking me to keep it on #i just dont want to read something negative or see any reminders of my abuser #bc then when im at my concert i will be more prone to having flashbacks instead of enjoying charlie puth bangin out the tunes #but ill turn them back on uhhh when im feeling a little better i guess #i just got some ppl trying to talk to me abt my abuser last week like 'ooh shes posting abt u!'#'shes spreading rumors about u. thought u should know' well i DONT want to know! thank u!#anyone who brings her up telling me what she's 'posting about me' is automatically blocked at this point #if she wants to spread rumors that is her problem. and i dont wanna know about it #bc shes dead to me and im keeping it that way ❤#anyway. to all the ppl who wrote 50 nice messages!!! thank u! i needed them #i will reread them the next couple of days while im feeling rly sad and missing my starlight #god i cant wait to get the hyperfixation back. i cant wait to feel safe w/ them again.#one fucking day

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lavenderlyncis · 2 years

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for the fanfic ask thing 💕

i k and t

Bestie, how did you know the EXACT questions U was dying to answer??

I: do I have any guilty pleasures in fics?

Yes. Yes, I do. And yous are gonna hate me for it. I like shipping characters with Tom Riddle. IF THEY ARE BOTH ADULTS, obviously. I know he's super shite and incredibly problematic, but reading the rare ship of Tom and Reg has been my guilty pleasure for a while. In my own writing, the most I'm willing to do is have him be Reg's toxic ex like in thfob. To be clear: I do not think a ship between them could ever be healthy or should be romanticised. Tom is awful. But because of things relating to my past, I like exploring stuff like that, and you will see that in the future

K: what's the angstiest idea i've ever come up with?

I would love to answer this, but it would be a massive spoiler for To Absent Friends. It's very original though, so I can't wait for people to read it!

T: fandom tropes i can't stand (to preface this, you can like what you want. These are personal opinions)

This one is easy. I hate it when people have James cheat on Lily with Regulus or vice versa. I guess I just really hate cheating. It makes me so mad. I also hate it when Lily or any other female character is just a one dimensional obstacle that gets treated like shit by the men around her

A bonus one: I hate it when Regulus is a fully convinced death eater. I know this is super controversial and a lot of people enjoy the storyline where James converts him, but I personally dislike it. Yes, I know he was probably a blood supremacist in canon, but I piss on jkr's grave. It's totally fine if he's trying to confront his own prejudice and better himself, but it shouldn't be because James made him question himself. It should come from him.

#ask game #jegulus #bestie tag

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laketaj24 · 3 years

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Serotonin II

Author’s Note: Here it is! I am taking requests, and the taglist is open, drop your name under this fic or on this list if you are interested! This does have a prior part but can be read as a standalone.

Pairing: Colson Baker x Reader

Warning: Smut, breeding kink

Inspo Song: Bad Things

Part I

My MASTERLIST

Colson: Busy?

Y/N: Why would I be busy?

Colson: For sure ain’t been answering my texts 🥱

Y/N: You need something, Col?

Colson: You know you only call me Col when you’re half asleep or whimpering my name when you about to cum. Let me come over.

Tongue-tied, his messages left you baffled. They were a smooth variation of sexting mixed with pleading. Every message included a very Colson apology but a rebuttal that followed and reminded you why you couldn’t fall back in the same routine with him. It was easy to picture yourself back with him, nestled against his lean frame - listening to his voice as it rumbled against his chest as he rambled on. You saw it clear as day, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t do what you required to have you back in his life. Fucking you in the bathroom of some club like a whore, giving your body a fix, but your heart and mind still felt that hesitation when it came to Mr. Baker.

“Are you listening?” Dana asked, holding up the soy powder milk for your nephew.

“I heard you clear as day.”

“You sure you didn’t just daydream the entire I talked about not feeding Jaylen after seven?” Dana placed the soy milk on the table and glanced down at her newborn. “If you’re not up to it, I can stay. I hate going out of town so soon after having him.” She tapped her soon on the back a few times and exhaled.

“We will be fine.”

“You say this, but I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You’re head has been shot ever since you broke up with the delinquent.” She rolled her eyes. “And what pisses me off is Tyla loves him!” She whispered and turned her attention to the seven-year-old parked in front of the tv. “I mean worships him.”

“I know. Colson is good with kids.”

“Because he’s childish.” She added. “He’s basically a six variant of one.”

“You can’t say one thing nice?”

“His music isn’t shitty,” Dana added. “I will be back at eight for the both of them, and I swear not to do this again, just my boss needs me, and their dad is busy.” She lied. “So- I love you, sis. Call Eric!” Dana kissed your cheek and sprinted out the door without another word.

Eric, you hadn’t seen him since you left the club a week ago, and you barely responded to his texts. The ride home was awkward; the entire time, he talked about how much he enjoyed the night. And the only thing you could think about was getting bent over in the bathroom by your ex. Good date.

Auntie duty had started. Diapers, Tiktok, YouTube, and some weird pig cartoon lay ahead of you for the next nine hours. Jaylen slept peacefully in his playpen, unbothered by his mother's lack while Tyla consumed her tv.

Colson: I got food open the door.

Y/N: What door?

Colson: Your apartment door. It’s Chipotle.

Fuck, you were hungry.

Y/N: Leave the food on the porch.

Colson: I’m not a god damn door dash.

The abrupt knocking startled Jaylen, soo you took him in your arms and walked to the door, “Stay in the living room Tyla.”

“K,” She answered, not even looking up from her phone.

You opened the door revealing Colson in his pink hoodie and gray joggers. He held bags of food in his hand and garnished a big smile on his face, “You look good with a baby.”

“Why are you here?”

“You wouldn’t come to see me or invite me over, so invited myself over. Can I come in?”

“No.” Jaylen stirred in your arms, his plump little legs kicked, and you sighed. “I am busy today. That’s why I didn’t invite you over. I have to keep my nieces and nephews, and every time you are over here, you either curse too much or we end up fucking.”

“Watch your mouth.” He teased.

“How were you texting with all that in your hands?” You stared at him.

“You know I got talented hands.”

“Colson!”

Why? You grimaced inwardly before looking at your overly excited niece, she loved Colson, and you hated to admit, he might be an asshole sometimes, but he loved kids. He was a wonder with them. You slapped your face, disappointed there was not a way to hide the massive man at your door. “He can’t stay.” You answered before the question left your lips.

“Why? Please!” Tyla pouted her pink lips and threw her arms up in defeat. “We never see him anymore.”

“That’s your aunt’s fault,” Colson added fuel to the fire. “I won’t stay long.” He pushed through, entering your apartment to greet Tyla with a hug at her level and a sly wink to you. Kids were the way to your heart – and his, but he would not win you over with this bullshit today. Not at all. “You hungry, Tyla?”

“Yeah, ten minutes, and you’re out.”

“Damn.”

“Tiktok?’ she held up her phone and the ring light from her purple book bag. “Please.”

“Word, what are we learning?” He raised his brows to you and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the couch; she was ecstatic, immediately standing to do a dance and drag you over to learn it too. Tiktok had become the bane of your existence, but for Tyla and her half a million followers, she was golden.

One hour later and you were tired, you’d perfected the dance, and Colson had convinced her to let him skip the dancing and just be—it was all he had to do though, she’d get one million views just because of who he was, and now everyone would know you were with him. Your heart dropped a little thinking about the exposure while she edited the video next to both of you.

“Why is Uncle Colson never around?” Tyla never looked up from her phone; she just continued her mission of posting that sixty-second video and ruining your life.

“He’s not your uncle.” You corrected.

“That’s your aunt’s fault too.” He added.

“Don’t start with me.” The harsh whisper came out as a warning, waking baby Jaylen from his nap and making Colson chuckle in amusement.

“I like him; I want him in the family.”

“I want a million dollars.”

“I can give you that.” He said.

“And a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t text insta-sluts in his spare time.”

“Don’t use sluts in front of her damn; your mouth is outrageous Y/N.”

The narrowing of your eyes made him burst into laughter again. He was damn good at annoying you like he had it mastered.

The day passed quickly with him making eyes at you, caring for Jaylen while she styled Colson’s hair in four ponytails atop his head, garnished with bows, and she even attempted to give him edges. He didn’t care; as long as she was happy, he was good.

“You look a mess.”

“It’s cool.” Colson snapped a picture. “Been waiting forever to see if ponytail was for me or not; it’s a no.” He sat back on the couch while Tyla disappeared to your room for god knows what else. “You look good with babies, you know?”

“You’ve said that.”

“I meant it; you’re good with them too.” He sighed. “I thought about kids with us, like every damn day.”

“Funny.” You shrugged, and she appeared with your bright pink polish. “What’re you doing, Tyla?”

“Painting his nails.” She plopped down in front of him, and without hesitation, he held his hand out for her. “We did blue last time.”

“Yep.” He exhaled. “Don’t you want this?”

He didn’t have to elaborate; you knew what he was talking about, but a family was the last thing from your mind, no matter how perfect the scenario looked right now. “Do you?”

Colson smacked his lips. “We can talk later.”

“You leaving when they do.” You reiterated.

The door opened thirty minutes later without a knock or doorbell; Dana never announced herself. “I see he found his way back in.” Her mouth dropped as soon as her eyes met him. “Tyla just had her way today, didn’t she.” She laughed. “Oh god, she gave this man braids.”

“Your daughter is talented.” He laughed. “Might be a new look.”

“Ridiculous.” She held her laughter. “Ty, get up and come on, love; we have a long drive.” She took Jaylen from your chest and gave you a look. “How long is he staying?”

“Not long, sis, drive safe.”

“I will. Colson, you leave in ten minutes, or I’m sending our brother over.” She pointed to him.

“I’m not scared of Michael; send him.” Why did his arrogance only make you want him more? He looked to Dana, who, like him, was not bothered.

“I hate him.” She mumbled as she left. “I just fucking hate him.”

“It’s mutual!” Colson laughed as the door shut. “You’re gonna stay over there the whole time?”

“Aint no reason for me to be over there for real.” You thought of three reasons to stay where you were, the drop in his voice, the tension in this room that could be cut with a knife, and when he was alone with you, your willpower was nonexistent. “You have five minutes.”

“We aren’t going to talk about this, are we? You like being evasive and shit? That you’re new persona?”

“I have no new persona. This is me not playing into all the bullshit you bring when you’re with me. This is a wall.”

“I’m about to knock that wall over.” He smirked.

“Stay on your couch.” You warned.

Colson held his hands up, acting defenseless, “I wasn’t moving from this spot.”

“My sister hates you, you know that? She literally said that I would be better off leaving Cali before staying here with your toxic ass.” You found yourself pointing at him and wanting to knock that smile from his face. Colson liked to see you get feisty with him; he called that foreplay, and here you were dancing to the beat of his drum, pissed.

“How am I toxic? I stopped all that shit for you, every ounce of it.”

“Stop lying.”

Colson grinned at you, unwavering in his position and impressed that you were persistent in yours; your usual fights lasted about one day. You’d take him back, and everything went back to how it was before, but that changed nothing; you wanted him to change. “I am not lying to you. Come here.”

You walked over to him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull you down in his lap. Facing him, you admired all the little cuts he’d earned over the years in senseless fights or accidents. Your fingers traced over them before you cupped his face. What the fuck were you doing? Why were the two of you akin to magnets? Drawing one another in half of the time and then at the flip of a side hating one another? You placed your lips on him, parting his lips with your tongue and then flicking playfully over his teeth before he caught your bottom lip with his teeth and tugged. The slight pressure made you moan against him. He cradled your neck with one hand, not allowing you to escape him. Colson deepened the kiss, adding pressure and taking what little breath you had away. “I fucking miss you, Y/N.” He rasped.

"Don't talk.”You murmured back.

Colson didn’t listen; he never listened. “You were good with them today.”

You growled, grinding your hips on him. “Shut up, Colson.”

“I want to talk to you, I want you back Y/N, shit. Like I am trying, I canceled recording sessions, appearances, and other shit all this month so we can figure this out. I don’t want to-,”

You stopped him from talking, gripping his cock through the sweats with one hand and kissing him to shut up.

“Stop.” In one fluid motion, your hands were by your side, and your eyes were on his, “We’re talking; I was not fucking other women. But I was entertaining them, and it’s no excuse. I know you’re hurt; I’m sorry. Like real talk, no joke – I apologize.”

“How do I know it won’t happen again?’

“I'll delete all this shit for you,” He admitted. “Fuck a platform.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m dead ass right now. Fuck it all. I just want you.”

“If it happens again, I am never taking you back, ever.”

“It won’t.” He whispered, loosening the grip on your hands.

You took advantage of the notion, moving your hand down to his cock, rubbing the hilt through his sweats again.

“Nah,” He gripped your hair, pulling you back, so your eyes met him. “It’s my turn now.” He pushed aside your shorts in seconds, and his fingers plunged into your pussy, curling for a moment and then spinning out of you. He placed his fingers on your lips, “Open up.” You didn’t hesitate to take his fingers, licking your own juices from them, and he tapped your face sending a slight pleasurable sting. “How you taste?”

“Ready.” You pulled him from the sweats feeling him jump at your cool hands, and stood up, wriggling out of the shorts before hovering back over him again.

Colson playfully tosses you on your couch, draping one leg to the ground. “Let me taste.” He whispered as he descended between your legs. Colson’s fingers brushed your swollen clit, before his lips latched on, sucking. You bowed from the couch, the moans and scratched to his shoulders done nothing but encourage. He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue into you and swirling around. You gasped, surprised and pleased as he worked.

“Col-“ You gripped his shoulders, lifting yourself from laying down, and he took full advantage, pulling you onto his face and fucking you with his tongue. Your body coiled, the jolts of pleasure popped around your body, and then you came. The white-hot energy surged through your body, and you panted, shaking, almost collapsing back on the couch. He caught you peppering the wet kisses from your pussy to your mouth.

“You good?”

“Better than.” You whispered, breathing heavily. “ Shit.”

“We’re not done.” Of course, you weren’t; his cock throbbed against his leg, waiting to ruin your life, and here you were still out of breath. Colson gently pulled you from the couch, sitting you in his lap, and he started once again with the kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips, and for some reason, that just made you wetter for him. He took advantage of stroking himself before he lowered you down on him. You took every inch, mouth slightly open and hair swinging the entire time. You pressed your breast against his chest, savoring the warm feeling of his cock inside of you, and then you started moving on him. Your muscles clenched around, gripping him with each stroke. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone; you took that added pleasure in stride biting your lip as it intensified every time your skin met.

Colson’s eyes were hooked on you, his fingers dug in your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock, urging you to keep going, and there was no way in hell you were going to stop. You could feel it building once again, this time bigger. “Hold it.” He whispered, knowing you were about once more. “Not yet.”

“Ah,” Impatience grew over you; you slowed your ride, winding your hips slowly, your eyes closed as you took over, fucking up into you, guiding your body to take more. “I can’t.” You whined as you fought to hold the orgasm back.

“Yeah, you can.” He slammed into you harder, knocking the breath from you, your toes curled, and you screamed as you shook against him. “I wanna feel that pussy shake around me when I cum; hold it.” He slapped your clit with three fingers, and your breath hitched. “Hold it.” His hand travels up your shirt to your bare stomach, and he kisses you once more. “Y/N.” His hips rocked slowly, but then he started to fuck you quicker, the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot each time. You were a screaming mess, biting down on his shoulder. That done the trick he spasms against you growling. His warm cum triggered you. You came, sinking down and taking all of it. “Shit, you cheated.”

“You would’ve lasted forever.” You smiled lazily.

“Is that a complaint or a compliment?”

“Both.”

You wince, sliding off him, “right.” He rolled his eyes. “Now we gotta eat reheated Chipotle.” he stood up, fixing his pants. “Can I stay?”

“I guess.” You pulled the blanket over you, snuggling into your favorite place on the couch. He heads into the kitchen, and you reach for your phone, wondering what threat your sister had for you.

Meg: Are you still coming tonight?

This was not your phone; of course, it wasn’t. You unlocked the phone, clicking her name to look at the messages. But there is only red as Colson makes his way back into the living room. You throw the phone across the room, hitting the wall, and he stares at you. “What the fuck?”

“Take you and that Chipotle and get out.”

“Damn, what the Chipotle do?”

A/N: One more part coming. I’ll drop it next week, I think! Thank yall for reading! Let me know what you think!!

Taglist: @taytayize123 @ctrlszn @supernaturalvikingwhore @jae-writes-fanfiction @bigsisbria @placeoffreedom @kyla-queen @missdforever @gottatoxicattitude @bang-kim-bap @msreshel @blowmymbackout @titty-teetee @strawberry-skyes @mauvecherie @savageiz @bang-kim-bap @luci-her @littlelovebug98 @babyboy-cody @hellshedevil @daddyavesxx @crystalbaby12 @jeonsblackgf

commenters from serotnin who might be interested: @mgkmerchstyles @mayaslifeinabox

#laketa j writes #colson baker x black reader #colson baker fics #colson baker x reader #colson baker #mgk #machine gun kelly x black reader #machine gun Kelly

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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years

Text

Regrets // Victoria De Angelis

words // 1557

warnings // angst, mentions of abusive relationships (not details)

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x GN!Reader, Ethan Torchio x Platonic!Reader

author's note // taglist here. please only let me know if you want to be tagged on that google form so i know what to tag you on, thank you

I KNOW I MADE HER LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE BUT MY ANGSTY ASS NEEDED SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO BE ABLE TO WRITE THIS FIC SOOO... I LOVE VICTORIA, I DON'T THINK SHE'S AN ASSHOLE AND THE WHOLE I BULLY YOU MEANS I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU TROPE IS STUPID IN EVERY OTHER OCCASION BUT IN FANFICTION ITS FINE

also i changed the original tittle because i didnt like it that much

request // yes

summary // Reader is Ethan's best friend and because of that they are around the band a lot. Maybe a hint of jealously, a toxic partner and a visit at the hospital will be enough to change their relationship with Victoria from hate to love. Or maybe the love was there all along.

The first time the two met each other was right after the band finally united. Y/N’s had been Ethan’s best friend for years now, making the fateful meeting inevitable - as well as the obscure amount of time they would have to spend around each other. If anything, the drummer was attached to the hip with his best friend, tagging them along to every show, many rehearsals (there was even a suggestion to come with him on Måneskin’s European tour - it would be a nightmare if they did).

Victoria did not take long to adopt a defensive mode against them, one that not even she could decipher. Maybe it was the way they were just always there, like leech attached to her bandmate, or maybe it was that annoying way they dressed, all out there and attracting her attention, or maybe it was that stupid girlfriend of theirs that just had to make it known they were a couple. She really did get on Victoria’s nerves a awful lot. She was nice, not going to lie, just maybe a little too nice - ickly nice, she’d say. She wasn’t sure why but that girl simply made Victoria’s gut drop every time.

For years, as that relationship lasted, Victoria and Y/N would butt heads, always at each other’s throat with something to say and complain about. What are they doing here again, the bassist would ask over and over again. Just here to piss you off, Y/N would say, walking to Ethan. Other times it’d be the opposite. It just always was… a mess.

Everyone could see the situation the two found themselves into but no one could do anything. No, not until they opened their own damn eyes.

The dislike between the two only grew stronger and stronger as time passed by, with their insults getting worse. Truth be told, no one expected it to get that bad, and now they just hoped to stop.

For a while, Y/N was facing some drama in the relationship, some that could end up pretty bad. Not few were the nights Ethan would get a phone call in the middle of rehearsal, sobbing heard even beyond his phone. Please, please come get me Ethan. I don’t think …. The rest was inaudible for Victoria, not that I care, she would remind herself, moving on with her work.

On occasion she’d joke about it to Y/N. What? Trouble in paradise, cucciolo? Oh well. Deep down she knew she should not say that but she could not control herself. Y/N was pretty put together some of those times, others they’d just snap with no regard to anything. Just shut your fucking mouth, they said once adding a few profanities to explain their anger.

After the fourth time it happened the blonde had gotten genuinely angry. “Ok, enough. Close your phone, Ethan,” she spat out, almost snatching it off his hand. “They can wait.”

“But-”

“No! They have cut short three out of our four rehearsals this week! This is the fifth rehearsal, Ethan, their fourth time! They’re a big kid now, they should not need you all the time.”

In time she would regret those words but in that moment they seemed appropriate. She had grown exasperated at their constant interruptions. Well, most of the time they were not really disturbing - they’d call on a break or just cuddle with Ethan on a break, at a time they had for the solemn reason of relaxing - but Victoria would not admit that. Not to herself and not to anyone.

“Ok.” Ethan whispered the words, silencing his phone with a heavy heart. He had a bad feeling, that he knew for sure, but he did not feel like fighting with the blond bassist.

The hours they worked passed by quickly, feeling more like quick moving water, their session was simply flowing. It was now quiet, maybe around three in the morning. 2.58 AM read the clock on the table. Ethan was sure his best friend was sleeping by now. He’d shoot them a text and then go to sleep as well - lord knows he needed it. Well, not everything always goes as planned.

Victoria was by him when it happened.

His phone started to ring while he was about to walk to his room. Y/N. If he was not concerned earlier that night there was no way he was not now. It was not common for them to call at hours like this, if anything they were usually asleep by eleven, maybe even twelve.

“Pronto. Che? A- cazzo, sì, sì. Sto venendo ora.” showing off my italian lol

“Ethan? What happened?” She was not sure of her feelings in that instant. Why was she even asking him? She did not care about them, right? But no, no, it was not worry. It was fear of guilt. And worry, but that she was not aware of.

“Y/N is at the hospital,” he breathed out, “they- uhm… Their ex hurt them - thank god their neighbor was there and heard what happened. Oh my- if-if-if he was not there Y/N-”

Victoria could not stand seeing her friend like that. She believes that she’s never once seen Ethan this emotional - not negatively emotional, that is. He always keeps his composure so well but this time it just was not possible. The blonde just stood there now, holding Ethan in her arms, whispering comforting things to him, hoping that he’d calm down a bit.

“I-I should’ve answered the phone Vic… It- I could have prevented this. Oh god, it’s my-”

“Ethan no! If it’s anyone’s fault here, it’s mine. I should not have snapped like I did.”

“I- yeah. Yeah, you know what, yeah, it is your fault.” He was sad, he was anxious, he was angry… A whirlwind of emotions really, and Victoria’s statement made him target it to her. “It is your fault Vic, with that-that stupid, stupid, conflict you two have. I’m leaving.”

“Where are yo-”

“To the hospital! Where the fuck else?” Ethan’s voice was rising by the second, as his blood started boiling in his veins. He knew he could not drive there, but he was not about to say it.

“I’ll drive you-”

“No. I can do it on my own.”

“Please. It’s the least I can do.” Victoria’s eyes were cast to the floor, unsure of what else to do. She knew that things were taken too far this time, the least she could do was drive her friend to the hospital.

The drive there was quiet. Neither knew what to say. Victoria was feeling guilty, afraid, and even worried about Y/N’s well-being, regardless of whether she could she tried to focus on the road. More injured people would not be helpful. Ethan on the other hand was fuming. He was angry out of his head; at his blonde friend, at himself and most of all that bitch, Y/N’s ex. She was the one to cause all of this, all of it, even problems he was not aware she was the cause of.

As they arrived there there was even more trouble on their way. He’s not family, he’s not a spouse, neither is Victoria. It was always like that. They would not let them pass if they were not either of those things but, god bless that man, the nurse that called him showed up, recognizing the voice and assuring the nurse, on the front, that he was indeed the only person on their emergency contacts, they had to pass. With a lot of complaining they were finally let to pass.

When they walked in the room Y/N was laying on the bed asleep and at first both their minds went to the worst case scenario. “I have given them some painkillers for now. They’ll be ok but some injuries cause severe pain -” he was walking outside along with Ethan.

Victoria was now left alone in the room with Y/N, although it felt as if she was looking at a photo of them rather than the real life Y/N. “I’m sorry,” was all she could say, the only thing that felt right to do at that moment. “It’s my fault -oh my it is! Ethan, he-he wanted to respond to the call by I-I got so angry!” She cried out, now grasping Y/N’s hand. “I can only hope he can forgive me. Hell, I hope you forgive me. It’s my fault you’re-”

“It’s not, Victoria.”

“You are awake?”

“It’s not your fault. I was already here when I called the first time. Neither of you could have changed a thing.” They were so calm - maybe it was the painkillers, she thought. “Thank you. For the apology I mean.”

“Yeah. I, uh, I’m sorry for everything Y/N. I-”

“Hey, stop! It’s ok. What’s by is by,” they laughed, never missing the opportunity to joke. (you know, bi - by… terrible pun)

“I, uh,” she paused, thinking of what to say next. She remembered a small chocolate bar in her pocket. She was about to eat it when the call happened. “I don’t know if you’re supposed to eat chocolate but I know you like it.”

“Oh my, it’s my favorite,” they gushed, prompting Vic to come closer.

“Come, sit, sit! We can share it.”

“Yeah, I guess we can.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost @superchrystaldrug

#måneskin #måneskin imagine #måneskin fanfic #måneskin x reader #victoria de angelis #victoria de angelis imagine

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agoddamn · 2 years

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Separate post from this because it's all subjective Single Parent Home feelings from here out--

So I don't think it's clear how old Joanna is in AOS, but going on the 'younger and sexier' vibe of AOS in general fandom has generally assumed she's sub-14. You can instantly tell if you're reading TOS or AOS fic by whether Joanna's hit puberty. And AOS doesn't spell this out (obviously, there's barely anything about McCoy), but that recontextualizes the hell out of McCoy's running to Starfleet.

--actually, before that, I already mentioned how 'bitch ex-wife' setup is anachronistic for the enlightened future. What I didn't mention is how this situation--the legal/social decisions that led to McCoy becoming bitter and hateful and running away--reflects horribly on McCoy.

The legal/political system of Federation-era Earth is objectively better than current day. This isn't me being up Roddenberry's ass; it's a necessary pillar of Federation-Era Earth existing. It has to be more tolerant and more just, even if you don't buy into the utopia concept for Trek. Just to function at all, society has to be better in a number of ways.

In a court and social system like that...how badly do you need to shit the bed to get taken to the cleaners in court and run out of town on a rail?

No way is this a "she ruined everything" or "she made it all up" situation! It can't be, because of how normally McCoy treats it all--he doesn't react like it's a gross miscarriage of justice. He's angry and bitter, but it's personally towards Jocelyn rather than resenting a system that fucked him over. He's joining the fucking military--he did not walk out of this with a beef against the government.

The judicial circumstances of the Federation and McCoy's own comments on his divorce strongly imply that he earned the reaction.

And to bring this back to Joanna--

So, McCoy didn't get custody, which means he either didn't fight for it or was soundly defeated (and maybe he should have been?).

And Joanna knows this! She's there! Man, I remember the day my mom went to court for my custody--I wasn't physically there, but it sure as shit shaped my relationship with my dad for the rest of my life that his approach in court was "not it". I've got the paperwork and the court minutes. Joanna would have that.

So Joanna's a preteen girl at a volatile stage in her life, and her parents split, and her father leaves her and goes to space, where she can never have any regular contact with him to maybe work through this.

This doesn't need to be a "my ex is poisoning the kid against me" situation--Joanna has plenty of very legitimate grounds to be pissed at McCoy here!

Fanfic tries to do the limbo around all these implications by making Jocelyn a hateful Queen Bitch, and that actually only makes things worse because--shit, McCoy, you left your child in this toxic situation? With an unfit mother? On purpose? This might be even worse than dropping the bag and running to space! Shit, you really had to try for that!

tl;dr nuTrek writers blatantly all came from two-parent homes.

To boil it down to scenarios:

If Jocelyn is an evil woman and McCoy is an angel who did no wrong, then McCoy willfully left his child with an evil woman.

If Jocelyn isn't an evil woman, then, due to the canon justice-oriented nature of the Federation, McCoy isn't an angel and had to have did something really awful to get soaked as badly as he did in the divorce.

And whichever one is true, running off to space and cutting off regular contact is miserable for Joanna and an incredibly selfish, dysfunctional choice for McCoy to make.

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userpoe · 3 years

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ever since my first watch of the sequel trilogy, i've been a whore for commander dameron as we know. and i've searched a shit ton of videos on youtube with his scenes and shit, and there was this video that never sat well with me. i never watched it but the title had poe and holdo and misogyny. and don't get me wrong, misogynists can fuck off, but poe wasn't being one of them when he want against holdo. and the way they made her a martyr at the end like she's some sort of hero pisses me off — ✨

buddy i know we’ve already agreed we’re soulmates, but man. we are soulmates. i agree with everything you just said. i’m gonna put this in a read more, because...well i’m me and this is gonna be long, and i don’t want to clog up anyone’s dashboard if they happen to be fans of you know whomst.

you know that “did x effectively utilize girl power” meme that’s been going around? that’s fucking holdo in my opinion, like oh my gosh. I have never understood the idea that Poe was misogynistic, and it annoys me to no end that THREE WHOPPING YEARS LATER it’s still apparently a popular opinion????? fellas [wild hand motions] how???????

(I’ve also seen people call Poe an example of ‘toxic masculinity’ and I’m just. Yes, the man who sews up the jacket in between an evacuation to give to his crush friend and politely introduces himself to Rey and also, yknow, flips his shit when his droid is damaged is a fantastic example of toxic masculinity, I have to laugh /s).

Poe’s actions are not the ones of a “sexist who doesn’t respect women”, they are the actions of someone who is highly and recently traumatized, faced with the VERY REAL threat of losing everything he has left, and the possibility that the person put in charge might actively be trying to tear down everything Leia has fought to build. The Resistance is not the Rebellion, the Resistance is 400 people and a handful of squadrons - that’s it. They didn’t have any support, they’re now actively fleeing for their lives, and now there’s someone in charge who seems plenty happy sacrificing most of their fleet, isn’t offering any hope to anyone, and refuses to trust people with her plan - yeah, I can see how Poe would be thrown and upset, yknow?

I just cannot narratively read tlj in a way that paints Holdo in a good light, or paints her in the “right”, believe me, I have tried. I have tried to like her, but I just can’t. I’ve tried to understand her, and I can’t. Not really. And honestly, the more I explore the film, the more I inspect, the more I think I’m not supposed to?

I already shared an snippet from the tlj novelization, but like. if you thought the film was bad, she is horrible in the novelization. it seems like her favorite past-time is belittling Poe at any chance she can get, even when he hasn’t done anything. He follows her orders and aides in the evacuation of the medical frigate, doesn’t so much put a toe out of line, and she still grounds him inexplicably from aiding in any other evacuations and also bans him from the bridge? The book constantly shows us what the film doesn’t really get a chance to explore: how dire things are on the Raddus. The Resistance is losing hope, more and more people are giving up, and Poe spends most of his scenes trying to boost morale until, finally, when the last support ship goes up, he finally confronts Holdo.

I know some people have said Holdo is “warm and maternal” but I just. cannot see her in that way? I’ve seen Laura Dern play warm and maternal before, but Holdo does not come across that way at all to me. She makes me extremely uncomfortable, the way she’s constantly encroaching on people’s personal space (particularly Poe’s, in their first scene together? It makes my stomach churn). Especially the sequence when Poe’s unconscious and she cups his cheek?? like?? no get away from him do NOT touch him that’s creepy as all hell to me, I feel like hissing like a cat every time it happens like. no??????

I’ve genuinely started calling her “Purple Haired Tarkin” because she reminds me so much of him (and also because he’s the only other character in sw I dislike this much). I’ve actually made a parallel gif of them before, because I noticed how similar the framing is between Poe and her’s conversation with Leia and Tarkin’s on the Death Star.

And honestly, I’m gonna rag on her leadership abilities here for a second. I would like to point something out for a second: in tfa, when the Resistance is working out a strategy against Starkiller, everyone is present including Kaydel, who hasn’t even been made a lieutenant yet. Leia welcomes everyone in, trusts the people who work under her, which inspires trust in her.

Holdo doesn’t do that. You could make an argument that she didn’t trust Poe because of his recent demotion, however, Holdo doesn’t trust anyone except maybe one?? person??? with her plan??? out of the whole Resistance staff? Not to mention the fact that she seems to dismiss almost everyone? The way she calls Poe flyboy drives me up a goshdang wall, but also the way she reacts to Poe telling her about what Finn and Rose are up to “an ex-stormtrooper and a who now?” according to the wookieepedia, she brought...Rose...aboard the Raddus. and can’t be bothered to remember her name? And she doesn’t even consider Finn anything beyond “ex-stormtrooper” despite the fact that he, yknow, helped topple Starkiller and almost died fighting Kylo Ren.

Not to get on my rogue one bullshit, but trust has to go both ways!! rebellions are built on HOPE, Holdo wasn’t nurturing either of those things. In fact she was making things worse: in the novelization, Rose notes there’s rumors going around that Leia has died or that they’re planning a surrender to the First Order, which heavily implies Holdo didn’t even inform people that Leia had survived - Leia, who is constantly heralded as the Resistance’s main source of hope. And she’d ordered the techs to...tase and restrain people who tried to escape?????????????

And I also noticed the last time that I was skimming through TLJ that when Poe confronts her on the bridge finally, Kaydel is nowhere to be found, despite being there the last scene we had on it, where she questions Holdo on what her plan is, which makes me think that she might have banned Kaydel too??? from the bridge??? since Kaydel should be there working as a comms officer???

I’m cutting myself off here but this....isn’t even half of the reasons I dislike her so much. I go into more (coherent) detail in it, in that Kaydel fic I teased earlier but I’m still afraid to post it jatoajtoajtaota

#ask box #stardust #how many tags do we skip now #to avoid #them actually going into #tags #because i don't want #this to show up in tags #but i want people to be able to blacklist it #hhhhh #anti amilyn holdo

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roadsterguysblog · 4 years

Text

Dear Yuletide Author

You are amazing, and thank you so much for this!

I have details for each specific request below the general things. So, General Things:

My prompts are just that, prompts to get your brain spinning. If you have a great idea for a fic that isn’t on the prompts, or one of them sends you off on a tangent, write that! The best fics come from what moves the author.

For general guidelines, though - I love plot. I love something interesting and canonical going on that I can really sink my teeth into. If you write that, and you’re not into slash/ship, then that is amazing and makes my Yule. I love writing that fills in the world of these wonderful fandoms. There’s nothing better than a little line or unexpected note that answers a question that canon didn’t - what’s the bathroom like? What do they drink in the morning? How do they get the news?

I like first-time fic. I love a lot of UST and slow burn and people unable to just say what they’re feeling, until something happens and it does.

I’m a physical H/C FIEND. I love some nice bloody hurt and some nice stoic comfort. I love that combined with the above.

I love a crusty old bastard with a heart of gold. Even if they happen to be young (a young person can pull off a Crusty Old Bastard if they put the work into it). It’s my kink.

I love explicit, in-character sex. If you’re feeling sex, bring that on! Bring on every bit of sex, good and bad - teeth bumping, coming too fast because this has been such a long burn, santorum, sweat and hot kisses and oral leading to anal or whatever. Bring it on.

XCOM: Enemy Unknown/Enemy Within (Video Game)

I came to this game as an old-school player of XCom:UFO Defense. I really love the narrative additions that they made, and particularly Bradford as a character. I found Zhang and Durand to be great additions to this game too! I particularly love Durand's dialog on missions. She's such a goofy deadly little kid. I like the vague hints at Zhang's past, and would really love to explore that more.

I couldn't choose 'all of XCom' as a fandom, so I chose EW. My 'stretch' ask, then, is for some inclusion of the Legacy missions, XCom 2, and/or War of the Chosen with Zhang/Bradford slash - I love the development of XCom as a guerilla group, I love the classes (particularly Rangers!). I love that Bradford was a Ranger and that he fought as one in Legacy and 2. I'd love to see where Zhang was in 2, maybe even a reunion after the events of 2 and before/during Chimera Squad.

If you're looking to write just EW, that would be fantastic too! I'd very much like some in-EW Bradford/Zhang slash. I'm not one for PWP; I love a good juicy narrative. I love the canon, as discussed above, and would really like a fic that builds off of canon. And there's so much! The downtime between missions and the rapid gear-up for them. Bradford trying to figure out anything about Zhang. Zhang and Durand training - Zhang has the experience killing people but no experience with psionic powers, while powers and fighting are both new to Durand, so there's a lot of possibility there. In-mission and/or post-mission fic. Fic during/after the Base Invasion or the Final Mission. Testing out stuff that Shen is making. Being tested by Vahlen. Or anything else you want to explore!

If you're not into slash, that would be fantastic too! I love a good juicy genfic with a lot of great narrative. All of the stuff I mentioned above! If you want to write a fic from the PoV of some random soldier, that'd be delightful too! Or any canon exploration/gapfiller that grabs you that you want to write!

Do Not Want: Durand/Bradford shipping. I just don't see them as a couple at all and the age difference wigs me. I'm fine with them interacting; in fact, one of the things I love about Durand is how much of an Excited Little Kid she is on the missions! So an older battle-hardened dude helping settle her down and give some guidance would be a nice plotline, and platonic affection would be totally good. Ditto Durand/Zhang - platonic relationship is great, just not romantic/sexual.

Too much Commander. I realize that's a little vague, but since the Commander is the headspace of the player, having too much of their thoughts might pull me out? I'm fully there with the Commander being present to direct missions, chatting around with people, being supportive of characters during the fic, serving as Commander Ex Machina to move the plot along, things like that.

Scat/piss play (I'm fine with playing with the blood (human and/or alien) and sweat of battle as being either potentially sexy or a strange counterpoint to sexiness)

Out-of-character-ness

Homophobia/transphobia/racism by the main characters. As a gay trans dude, I am very down with any of them being gay/trans/queer/etc and experiencing it, and I'm even OK if they accidentally find that some of their activities are - but just no overt, knowing bigotry. (Bradford does have xenophobic tendencies, and I'd actually find that a cool angle to explore, as I think he's a fundamentally decent guy who's had a fuck of a time and suffers from some degree of toxic masculinity.)

XCOM 2 (Video Game)

I came to this game as an old-school player of XCom:UFO Defense. I really love the narrative additions that they made, and particularly Bradford as a character. I love the world of XCom2 - they do such a wonderful job of building Advent's Stepford Cities, the scattered resistance havens, XCom as a guerilla group, the Speaker, the various aliens, the Chosen, the classes of warriors, Lily Shen's badassery, Dr Tygan's smooth stoicism, Advent Burgers (ARE PEOPLE!) - all of it!

I couldn't choose 'all of XCom' as a fandom, so I chose XCom2. My 'stretch' ask, then, is for inclusion of some EW plotlines - particularly Zhang, because I loved him as a character. I love me some Braford/Zhang slash, so if you want to pull him in - see what he was doing in parallel at the time, or reunion after 2/during Chimera Squad - I would be just delighted.

If you're not into writing that or didn't play EW, an XCom2 fic would be fantastic! I loved Legacy, I loved 2 (with the missions Shen and Bradford do), I loved WotC. There's so much there! I love that Bradford was a Ranger (I'd be delighted for fics of him getting down and dirty and bloody with a sword), I loved that Tygan had a Thing for Advent Burgers, I loved that Bradford got mad that the wrappers kept getting left around. I loved that Shen and Tygan kept giving Bradford shit for his flying. I think it's interesting that Bradford turned alcoholic after the base invasion, and I'd be interested in explorations of that, and if he started to get control of it when the Avenger took off and things started to go well. I love the Skirmishers, I love Mox - I'd love some more of their backstory, and/or how things go for them after the events of the game. (Generally, any Adaption To Civilian Life And Living Amongst The Aliens sort of fic really tickles me). If you want to write a fic from the PoV of some random soldier, that'd be delightful too! Or even the PoV of a young civilian who has known nothing but Advent and slowly realizes what's going on. Basically, anything that fleshes out/extends/expands the wonderful rich canon of this game.

Do Not Want: Shen/Bradford shipping. I love love love them as a Surly Old Loving Dad and Spunky Smart Loving Kid, so I love that dynamic, and would love to read some of them awkwardly expressing their mutual affection on that level, but just no to romance or sex.

Scat/piss play (I'm fine with playing with the blood (human and/or alien) and sweat of battle as being either potentially sexy or a strange counterpoint to sexiness)

Out-of-character-ness

Ship Series - Anne McCaffrey

What can I say, I'm a Helva/Niall shipper. That being said, I think there's a lot that's dysfunctional about their relationship. The way chastity is valued so highly, the way that she thinks of herself as a chaste armored Valkyrie (the armor protecting her equally from both sex and physical harm). The awkwardness around any thought of physical contact - and yes, it's dangerous for her to be outside of the shell, but there are so many workarounds. Her shell is wired for sensation, after all, there's no reason that creative ways to make love to a ship couldn't be played with. And they never do anything around physical intimacy with their mental connection, even though it's explicitly written that Helva can sense what Niall does.

I'm also very skeeved by the way she turns off his hologram after he's dead. The hologram seems to have some degree of independent thought, the way it's written. Is it a sentient AI, perhaps? Or did he fully transfer to her subconscious after his body died, and this is his way of having some consciousness? None of these issues were explored, and I'd be delighted if you want to give them a go.

I'm also totally down with fics that don't go into the side of things I laid out above. I'd be delighted for mission fics, gapfillers, fics where they have to deal with Central Command. Action and adventure!

I'd love fics that explore some of the issues of toxic straight culture and toxic masculinity. These characters are great and interesting and flawed, and I love fics that acknowledge and embrace the flaws.

Also, I'm fully down with Niall being written as trans and/or bi/pan, if that strikes your fancy (and if you want to put that into the She Can Sense What He Does context). I know he's represented as being with women a lot, but I'd love a subversion of that as being down to some toxic straight culture (already abundant evidence for that in canon!) and/or overcompensation for being the butt of the flavor of toxic masculinity that considers short stature to be a deficit in men.

Do not want: True downplaying of short guys. Niall is sensitive about being tinchy, but I don't want that written as something that's actually, objectively wrong with him. As a short trans guy, I'm on board with him expressing that insecurity, I'm fine with stories playing with that insecurity, I'd awfully like a fic where the insecurity is helped to some extent.

Scat/piss play

Out-of-character-ness

Lucky Starr - Isaac Asimov

What can I say? Never has 1950s sensibility lead to a more homoerotic set of stories!

That being said, I also love how scientifically based it is. That's what I want from this fandom - a true Lucky Starr fic that is solidly grounded in some real science, and has some of the real science come back as part of the Twist Ending. If you want to put some explicit Lucky/Bigman slash in there, I'd be delighted. But if you don't, a gen Lucky Starr story is already pretty damn slashy to me. :)

I love the whole world. I love the Sirians and all of the biological 'lessons' their perceived but not-actual superiority could represent. I love Sten insulting Bigman and Bigman getting his own. I'd love more exploration of Sten's comment about Lucky making an excellent Sirian.

I'd be delighted with a fic that explores the paucity of females in-universe, particularly in positions of leadership. Ditto a fic that explores how white and US/European the culture is.

I particularly love the Bigman/Yonge friendship. Although Yonge is technically the Ideal Tall Strong Man, he'd be a little at sea now that he's left Sirius - he doesn't know the society, the norms, the conventions. I'd love to explore their friendship a little more, with Yonge getting over all he's been indoctrinated to believe about Sirian Superiority. Particularly since that gets at a very valid biological point, to tie into the scientific underpinnings of Lucky Starr episodes!

If you want to write either Yonge, Bigman, or both as gay, I'd find that an interesting fic for sure! Although my preference is Lucky/Bigman, I'm interested in a Bigman/Yonge, especially if it leads to Lucky/Bigman. :)

If you want to write Bigman as trans, I'm totally down with that.

Do not want: True downplaying of short guys. I know there's a fair bit of that in canon, beyond just Bigman's sensitivity about it, but I don't want that written as something that's actually, objectively wrong with him. As a short trans guy, I'm on board with him expressing that insecurity, I'm fine with stories playing with that insecurity, I'd awfully like a fic where the insecurity is helped to some extent. I'm fine with canon-level teasing of him about it, but always in the context of Lucky genuinely caring for him and him bringing real value to Lucky's work.

Scat/piss play

Out-of-character-ness

Homophobia/transphobia/racism by the main characters. As a gay trans dude, I am very down with any of them being gay/trans/queer/etc and experiencing it, and even if they accidentally find that some of their activities are, but just no overt, knowing bigotry.

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