#I just don’t wanna hurt or disappoint or abandon or upset or fail or lose anyone anymore

[chibishortdeath]

I’ll keep this under a cut since it’s a vent, but things are going very horribly right now. I have no idea what to do. I feel like a complete fuck up.

Now I don’t know if this is what it is for sure, but something is fucking wrong with me cause I obviously just can’t interact with people correctly. I have realized recently that every single friendship I’ve ever had lines up exactly with BPD and having a ‘favorite person’. Not diagnosed obviously cause this is all very new information to me and I don’t have a therapist or anything, but holy hell is it pretty much exactly the cycle that’s happened with almost every single friend I’ve ever had my whole life. If that’s not what it is then idk what else it could be but yeah idk where I’m going with this sentence…

I have a great first impression with someone, we end up very great friends talking almost everyday or often, I care so so deeply about this person, something happens to the usual routine or someone else ends up talking to me, I suddenly either end up feeling way less close to them or just lose the spark entirely, I feel like a complete asshole and desperately try to feel the same way again to no avail, it either ends horribly and painfully or is never the same again and I am completely wracked with guilt and confused as to why I’m a terrible person who sucks at being a friend for a while, and then I end up stupidly believing it’ll be any different next time. It’s been this way as long as I can remember.

And it’s just constant. I can’t keep any more than maybe one main friend and a few secondary friends at a time. I can’t have too many social interactions with secondary friends too frequently no matter how much I love them or I’ll end up completely burnt out and overwhelmed. I can’t talk to anyone without being terrified I’ll just break them. I feel like a fucking parasite. I don’t know what to do, I don’t feel like I wanna get close to anyone anymore. I don’t think I should. I’m just gonna fail and hurt everyone I love. Part of me just wants to dip off the internet for good, but I’m an idiot and I need to see content of and talk about a game or I’ll start spiraling again, not that I’m not already though I guess.

To make it worse, I do have friends that I know I’m failing right now. I know I’m gonna hurt all of them. The pattern is already past the point of no return. And now I know that it’s my fault. That it’s really is just a me problem. It’s always been me that’s the problem. Every time has been because of me. I know I’m going to inevitably neglect most of them because I’m already isolating myself. I know can’t balance all of them at once without being overwhelmed. I know I can’t pick myself up again without getting overwhelmed. I know I can’t get the routine back. I know it can’t go back to how it was. I know it can’t. It’s just gonna end like it always has, awful for everyone involved. I don’t know how to fix it or if I can at this point.

It’s so fucking selfish. It’s disgustingly mean of me. I just wanna be a good person. I just wanna be a good friend. That’s all I want. I just wanna make people happy and share time with people and talk and have similar interests and laugh and be there when they need it and give gifts and hug and hang out. I just wanna be a friend. But it never works. It always ends up this way. I shouldn’t have tried. I really shouldn’t have. I’m just hurting people at this point.

#on top of all this I’m aromantic and that just adds a whole nother way of making it worse #I’ve turned down four best friends when at their lowest points and the friendships all changed a ton or ended and hurt everyone involved #I just feel like all I’m meant for is to hurt people #to be some kind of a lesson or traumatic plot point in their lives #I’m so constantly alone but I guess I’m supposed to be #I just don’t wanna hurt or disappoint or abandon or upset or fail or lose anyone anymore #vent post #tw vent #text post #incoherent rambling #really stupid way of putting it but I know it’s getting bad when all I wanna do is draw Simon dead over and over again #I used to do that a lot in high school #ugh #but nevertheless we ball I guess

[blissfulsun]

could you pleasee do 70&76 with Jeff from the angst prompts? 💞

hello my darling!! I’m sorry this took a couple of days, but its lowkey my favourite thing Ive ever written???🥺 Hope u like it just as much, ily💓 I changed both the slightest to fit into the idea I had I hope u don’t mind!!

word count: 1,713

Pretty little fears // Jeff Wittek

Jeff Wittek was a name you knew all too well. Except it used to bring visions of playgrounds and games of hide & seek, later swapped in for nights of sneaking out and stolen liquor from your father's hidden cabinet. Now, the man standing across the living room resembled more of a stranger.

Yet you somehow noticed him, eyes still instantly drawn to his taller figure in any room, this one particularly overcrowded. Your attention shifts when the friends you came with suggest a move to the garden.

He's listening to Toddy's story, or rather trying to make sense of the drunken rambling when a familiar head of hair passes in the corner of his eyes. It can't be, he tries to convince himself, searching past surrouding faces netherless, hopeful of the outcome but you're already gone.

You keep missing each other like that most of the night, you intentionally and Jeff still unsure if longing for you has finally materialised into him imagining you there in person.

The two of you collide when David stumbles across your group of girlfriends and invites you guys to 'rate his hot and less hot friends for a video'. You have no reason to say no, unaware of his connection to your hometown friend, never one to care much about social media and its content.

You make eye contact the moment you pass the threshold into the kitchen where the vs is gathered, Jeff first to speak despite the initial shock. 'y/n/n?' Others quiten down around you, eager to understand the connection between the two of you.

‘Long time Wittek' he's slightly confused and hurt by the careless tone of your greeting, his own mind going a hundred miles an hour at simply having you in such close proximity again.

You're silently seething, body simultaneously hot with rage and cold with faked indifference. You remain that way as he closes the distance between you, stiff in his arms when Jeff pulls you into a tight embrace.

The two of you remain like that for a while, your body melting into his form without permission. When he pulls away eventually, it's only far enough to look down at your face and ask 'wanna head outside? We have some catchin' up to do'. You sigh and nod, all too knowing that he wouldn't really let you have the choice.

Jeff couldn't let you go now that you seemingly fell back into his life, his hands guiding you as if you were to get lost in the house you've been in for the better portion of the night, you let him have at least that.

As soon as the two of you are outside and in a less crowded area you step away, distancing yourself from him in spite of the puppy eyes he directs at you. 'Well?..' You ask, hands wrapping around your waist in an effort to appear stand offish, the effort noted but futile.

Jeff just thinks you look adorable trying to stay mad at him, the attempts always failing in the past: from the time he tripped and accidently fell into your pride and joy of a sandcastle at four to the days when he began to fall into the wrong crowd, showing up at your window past midnight, asking to stay the night in a broken voice you could never say no to.

That's what your relationship with Jeff was, you gave and gave and he took. It wasn't always the case, early formative years of your friendship spent in mutual affection. He would push, punch and kick the bullies and in return you would offer him half of your snacks.

Then it transitioned to fighting just about anyone, and for any reason, not just for you. Still, you would bandage up the cuts and bruises, gentle kisses healing his scars better than any ointment.

You were a team, is what both of you would say whenever questions arose, jealous girlfriends & boyfriends alike or your parents increasingly protective in light of his misbehaviours. Even his own mother, who really just wanted the best for him and you, unsure at one point if you could pull him back and if it was fair to put such pressure on a 17 year old girl. You couldn't, evidently.

Jeff continued to hang out with a crowd you refused to be around and then you left for college. He was upset at first, his fear of abandonment and simply missing you translating into weeks of radio silence until he showed up at your dorm, the two of you falling back into the friendship no one else could understand.

It was fine like that for a while and then he left for Miami, promising to stay safe and in touch, though less often than either of you would like. His seventh arrest was the final blow, you mostly unaware to the extent of his illegal activities and the number of times Jeff found himself behind bars. That last time was the worst, not only because he was sentenced to at least a couple of months but because his own mother finally informed you.

'Jeff? Seriously...' your anger snaps him out of reminiscing. You look far less eager to take a trip down memory lane, but if he's already taken up your time you might as well get some answers, you decide. 'Why?' you grit your teeth, continuing 'why did you abandon me?' It's a loaded question and you're terrified of it's outcome.

‘Darlin' Jeff tries, his hand reaching for your own but you stand your ground despite his softened expression. 'No. Enlighten me. How do you spend every day with someone, write and call for months and just...just lie until you had no choice but admit you were fuckin' dealing drugs Jeffrey.' You want to shout, holding back for the sake of not gathering yourself an audience.

Meanwhile he visibly flinches at the accusing tone of yours. After a couple of calming breaths you look up at his face and begin to feel small again, back to the little girl barely reaching his shoulders & always gripping at the sleeve of his jumper.

'That's not even the worst part...' your words are softer now, Jeff can't decide if that and the tears gathering in your eyes are worse than the angry dialogue. 'The worst part is that you never responded...to any of my letters. I drove hundred of miles as a broke ass student only to find out I was already written off your visitors list' you pause, looking up to the sky to gather yourself and prevent the waterworks begging to start.

He just watches you both in awe and undeniable pain, heart split between letting you go as to not relive the pain and bringing you into his arms, body aching for the familiar comfort no one else has ever been successful in replacing, not really. 'After everything we've been through?' The last question comes out broken.

'I'm sorry...' he scrambles to reword when he catches sight of the perplexed anger adorning your face. 'I...you were goin' places alright? You were always going to be someone great darlin'. I just slowed that down and then...the final arrest happened. And I...you didn't need to see me like that, behind bars. I would rather do it alone a million more times than to put you through that.'

Jeff can only hope his explanation comes across half as elegantly. It doesn't, he realises at your sudden outburst, 'That wasn't your choice to make! Fuck you.' The response draws some unwanted attention to the pair of you, his friends standing in a corner nearby and trying to work out your significance.

'Angel please...' Jeff decides to try an old method of calming you down, hand wrapping around the back of your neck under the cascading hair you let down for the night. Your mind is still focused on the erupting anger, but your body, it surrenders to the familiar hold, shoulders unwittingly losing tension and expression softening while he stares in your eyes.

'You weren't alone.' The softness with which you deliver your next response shocks you both. The thought continues at sight of his confusion, 'You didn't have to do it alone. We were a team, from the time we were barely four...' Jeff nods at that truth. 'I know...' he's not sure whether to continue, unsure if this was the right place or time but already in too deep with a single look into your glassy eyes.

‘I know but I loved you-' 'wha' your attempt at interruption and shocked expression is ignored. '-and I know you loved me too angel. That's why...I could never do that to you' The confession hangs in the air, but at least it's finally out there, Jeff thinks. Years of repressed emotions and regret spilling over in favour of gentle relief inside your childhood best friend.

You clear your throat, 'right..' the eye contact is broken as you force your body away from his hold. He's confused, heart dropping into his stomach in disappointment as you stiffly walk around him and back inside without another word.

Jeff takes the leap and catches up to you outside, short of breath from the chase. '-wait!! That's...that's it? ' he has to ask. You whip around to face him for the second time tonight.

‘Yes! That's fuckin' it you asshole. You single handedly ripped my heart out and disappeared from my life like it was the easiest thing in the world! Of course I have always loved you, you..you selfish arrogant little pri-' the rant was left unfinished, a soft pair of lips shutting you up.

Jeff had to kiss you. It's been all he's thought about since you stepped into the random kitchen a couple minutes ago, the need so intense and eerily reminscent of his teenage years and early adulthood, always left unfulfilled for your own sake.

This time...he's tired of denying himself the pleasure, years older and maybe wiser, unwilling to ever let you go again. 'm still mad at you..' you mumble when he finally has to pull away for some air. The laugh that escapes him both infuriates and enamores you further, 'I know darlin...but I love you too.'

#angels💓 #jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagine #im kind of??proud??of this one #let me know whT u thought my darlings #jeff wittek x reader

[craftyshipper]

Support II

Momo wiped at the tears on her face, her form huddled on the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest. Saying she felt awful was an understatement, especially after today's training exercise.

Her team had failed. And it was all her fault. Her parents would have been so disappointed that she had made such a fatal mistake. A mistake anyone else in their class wouldn't have made.

"Dammit." She cursed under her breath, her phone abandoned at the foot of the huge bed, filled with text messages and missed calls from her friends.

A knock sounded at her door but she refused to answer it, squeezing her arms tighter around her legs.

"Momo?"

She flinched when she heard that soft raspy voice that she's grown to love. Ever since their talk last month when Shouto revealed his family history to her, they have grown extremely close. Even the girls went as far as saying they were a couple and would awe and coo whenever Shouto and herself would hang out together.

"Please just go away Shouto." She hated that her voice cracked.

"Don't make me come up from the balcony."

Her eyes widened.

He wouldn't dare!

"You wouldn't." Momo's tone was full of skepticism.

"Wanna bet?"

Sighing, deep down she knew he would do it. He was stubborn just like she was, plus he had a very useful quirk to do so and she doubted he would care if he got caught.

Knowing she'd rather just open the door instead of having him risk getting into trouble or possibly breaking his neck, she shuffles off the bed and sullenly walked over to open it.

When the door between them disappeared, Momo stared into the eyes of her friend. His gaze held worry and she wanted to cry because she felt she didn't deserve his concern. She walked back to her bed and sat on the end of it and rested her hands on the bare part of her legs where her blue Jean shorts didn't cover. Shouto stepped into the room and quietly closed the door before coming to crouch in front of her since she had her head hanging low.

"Momo." He coaxed her to look at him.

Her tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes sent a pang of hurt through him and he wanted to help ease the ache she was feeling.

"Why did you run from class like that today?"

"You saw what happened out there." She reached her hand up as a tissue appeared from her palm so she could dab at her eyes.

"I saw an intelligent girl doing what she was supposed to be doing."

"Doesn't matter if I let a civilian die."

Ah, so that's what she was worried about.

Their training exercise was a rescue simulation, featuring several mannequins as their targets for rescue. To pass they had to save all eight of them, Momo's team had done well up until she had forgotten about the last one and was ready to clear out and head back to the safe zone.

Only the last mannequin had been crushed by fallen debris, leaving it mangled and forcing Momo to realize how unready and unprepared she is to be a hero.

"What's this really about Momo?" Shouto moved to sit on the floor, crossing his legs as he did so. "People make mistakes."

"I can't get it out of my head Shouto." Momo slid to the floor to sit in front of him. "What if that had been a real rescue, I could have let someone die and it would all be my fault."

"That's why it's called training."

"That's not it, Shouto. I screwed up put there and if this had been a real hero mission-"

"But it wasn't."

She was going to remark that he didn't understand where she was coming from.

"Why do you think we're in a high school that focuses on hero careers?"

His question caught her off guard.

"To train us to be heroes."

"Exactly. You can't expect yourself to measure up to a pro especially since we're still in our first year." Shouto explained. "We go through training to help us become better, and to learn from the mistakes we make along the way."

"But-"

"Momo, you made a mistake." He reached out to grab her hand. "Now you learn from it and figure out what you need to do to prevent it from happening in the future."

The raven haired beauty looked into his eyes, the dual colors captivating her with their sincerity. She knew he was right. She was still a child compared to all of the pro heroes.

"I guess part of me is disappointed in myself." She squeezed his hand, enjoying the comfort it brought her. "I'm always trying to be a step above my skill level. Expecting myself to be better than what I’m ready for."

"You can't put that kind of weight on your shoulders."

"I know that." With a sigh she leaned back against the bed, his hand still gripped in hers, keeping her grounded.

Shouto moved to sit next to her, his back touching the soft mattress behind them.

“We’re not all perfect.” He started. “I’ve had my fair share of screw ups.”

“No you haven’t. You’re quirk is amazing.”

“Would my amazing quirk cause me to nearly lose my left arm?” He refused to meet her eyes when she sat up to stare at him.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I won’t go into a lot of details.” He met her gaze. “But I ended up against an opponent that was faster than me, and he got a little too close because I was relying to much on my quirk.”

Despite wanting to press the matter further, she thought it best to let it go for the time being. Maybe he’d trust her enough to tell her some day, but for now she’d let him have his privacy.

“It’s a lesson I’ll never let myself forget.” He smiled at her as he gave her hand a light squeeze. “We all make mistakes, so don’t put yourself down anymore.“

“You’re right, I know you are but-”

“No buts.” The scolding tone in his voice forced a giggle from her. “Those just lead to doubts, and you shouldn’t have doubts about your abilities.”

His hetero-chromatic gaze met hers, and the intensity in those orbs caused a blush to bloom across her cheeks.

“Th-thank you Shouto.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder as she smiled. If only all of the others could see what a kind and gentle soul Shouto hid behind his quiet aloofness. Given how he grew up, she was glad that she had gotten to know this side of him and she hoped he’d eventually allow their friends to see it as well.

“You really are a sweetheart Shouto.”

It was his turn to blush and he was glad she couldn’t currently see his face given their position. Resting his head back on hers, he cleared his throat and spoke up. “So are you.”

With a content sigh, she sat up and looked at him.

“Are you ready to go back downstairs?”

Biting her lip, she nodded. “Is everyone waiting for me?”

“Yep.”

“Is anyone upset that I ran off?”

“No. More worried if anything.”

That calmed her a bit. She didn’t know why she believed they would be upset with her. So she blamed her emotional distress for it.

“Come with me?”

The innocent look she gave him guaranteed that he wouldn’t have been able to say no, even if he wanted to.

“Of course.” With that he stood and pulled her up with him, she stumbled briefly into his chest before he helped steady her back on her feet.

“So forceful.” Momo teased him and he simply stabbed her side with his fingers in an act of a tickle war.

“Stop it!” Momo laughed and slapped his chest before she pushed him away.

“I’ll get you soon enough.” He promised.

“We’ll see about that.” Grabbing his hand, they left her room.

She didn’t notice it, but he had successfully gotten her to forget about her situation. He’d do anything to keep that smile on her face, because when she was happy, he was happy. And that was a feeling he could get used to.

“I have one more question.” The raven haired beauty broke him from his thoughts as they walked down the hallway.

“Alright.” He nodded for her to continue.

“If I hadn’t opened the door...” She paused. “Would you have really come up from the balcony?”

Shouto shot her a look. “What do you think?”

“Even though my bed is in the way?”

“I would have pushed my way in if necessary.”

The adorable pout that she sent his way made him bite his lip to keep himself from smiling.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have opened the door.” The giggles erupted from her before she could stop them. “I would have liked to see that.”

Rolling his eyes at her teasing, a soft look came across his features. She didn’t know it, but there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for her. 

_________

So this is turning into a little series about them supporting and helping each other. Some will be long, others will be short. I already have a lot of scenario’s in mind so hopefully you like what is to come. :)

#todomomo #todoroki and yaoyorozu #shouto and momo #craftyshipper fanfiction

[strongwomenarethebomb]

The scene when Alex talks To Emily and the talk with Maggie (minus the phone call interruption)

Ok, so this took me a while to write, but I hope you like it!

Here’s the link to read it on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10159067/chapters/23118498

Alex had always had a sense of needing to protect the people she loved. She had always hated to see the people she cared about get hurt. And, she saw how disappointed Maggie was when Emily didn’t show up, even though she tried to hide it, because Alex knew Maggie. She knew the subtleties in Maggie’s expressions. She knew the way Maggie hid the hurt with a smile, and it pained her to see Maggie like that. It broke Alex’s heart to see Maggie’s smile, usually so genuine and full of joy, fail to reach her eyes.

So, when she saw how anxious Maggie was the entire time they were waiting in the restaurant, she couldn’t bear to just let Maggie go without answers. She had to do something about it. And she did. She remembered how Emily had mentioned that she was staying at the Baldwin, and so, the second she was free from work, she headed over. She didn’t even know what she was going to do, just that she wanted- no, needed- answers. When she finally got to the Baldwin, she spent at least half an hour constantly reconsidering and rethinking her decision to show up at the hotel. It was pretty stalker-like of her to show up at Emily’s hotel without a word, after all. Maybe this hadn’t been as good of an idea as she had previously thought.

But, just as she was about to leave, she looked up and there she was.

 “Emily,” Alex breathed, trying to look as confident as she could, so as not to let Emily see how anxious she was to be doing this.

 Emily hesitated for a split second before answering, “Alex, right?”

 “Yeah,” Alex took a deep breath and continued, “I wanted to come see you, wanted to… talk to you, just to see if-”

 But, before Alex could finish her thought, Emily cut her off, “Look, if this is about dinner…”

 “Why didn’t you show up?” Alex asked, emboldened by Emily’s hesitancy.

 “I should’ve, but… the whole situation, it just brought up too many painful memories.”

 At this, Alex was taken aback. How could this woman talk about painful memories when it was her fault that she and Maggie had broken up in the first place?

 “What about Maggie?” she asked, “All the things you said to her back then, that wasn’t painful?”

 “Anything that I said to her, she had coming.” Emily retorted, and Alex could tell she meant it.

 “She dedicated five years of her life to you, and you bailed on her,” Alex could not believe her ears. How could Emily be so callous as to hurt a woman who spent five years of her life building a relationship with her, and then turn around and say she deserved it?

 “I bailed on her?” Emily scoffed, “Seriously? That’s what- that’s what she told you? She cheated on me.”

 Alex’s heart dropped. Her mouth went dry, and her mind was racing, trying to comprehend how Maggie- her Maggie, the woman that she loved, could do such a thing.

 “Sorry, I- I didn’t know,” She looked down, unable to meet the eyes of the woman who was looking at her with sadness in her eyes, who Alex knew was telling the truth, because why wouldn’t she be, and Alex couldn’t think, and she couldn’t breathe, and she just needed to get out of there, she needed to get answers.

 “I- I shouldn’t have said anything… but, the truth is, I just… really wanna forget about it.” Emily was smiling at her sadly, but Alex could barely hear her, could barely look at her, because how could she have been so stupid as to come here thinking she knew the whole story, when she didn’t. How could she have once again, made the mistake of being bold, and once again, being rejected.

 “Sorry, I’m- I’m gonna go,” she just barely managed to choke out the words before she started walking, walking, walking, away from Emily, away from the harsh reality of what she had just discovered, away from having her world shattered, because how could it be that Maggie- Maggie, the woman that just this morning was dragging Alex to her yoga class, who’d spent most of that same yoga class taking Alex’s breath away with how stunning she looked and how focused she was, who’d spent most of the time walking back home flirting with Alex, just for an opportunity to see her smile, to pull her close, to plant a swift, soft kiss on her lips- had cheated on a woman that she claimed to love.

 Alex couldn’t figure out how the Maggie she knew could be the same person that had cheated on Emily all those years ago.

 So, when she got to her apartment, Alex took a deep breath. She decided to give Maggie the benefit of the doubt, or at least to just hear her out, and she tried to silence the intrusive thoughts in her mind, because all her biggest fears were coming to the surface. All her insecurities, all her doubts about ever being able to be happy without anything going wrong, were all bubbling up and getting ready to overflow.

 But Alex just tried to breathe. Breathe, like she had done this morning at yoga class. She unlocked her door, and she leaned on her counter, where her trusty bottle of whisky was sitting. She knew she probably shouldn’t take a drink, but she was pretty sure that this situation warranted at least one glass.

 Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t bring herself to pour one out alone, not just yet. So, she sent a quick text to Maggie, just six words; “come over, we need to talk”, and she sat down and she thought.

 She thought about all the reasons Maggie would cheat, and she was surprised to find, that whatever her reasons were, she wasn’t mad at Maggie for cheating. She was just frustrated that Maggie hadn’t told her the truth, because she should have known that Alex was going to be there to support her no matter what. But, apparently, she didn’t.

 The more Alex thought about it, the more she noticed a pattern. This wasn’t the first time Maggie had kept something to herself. And, Alex realized that though she herself was new to a relationship like this, so was Maggie. Maggie had never had anyone that she could trust enough to tell this kind of stuff, so when it came to Alex, she didn’t know how to. So, Alex made a decision. She was not going to judge Maggie on her past. Instead, she was going to make sure Maggie didn’t repeat the same mistake in the future.

By the time Maggie got to her apartment, Alex had carefully thought out what she was going to say. As she heard the lock clicking open, she poured out two glasses of whisky and steeled herself for what was to come.

 “Hey,” said Maggie, closing the door, “What’s so urgent?”

 Alex set the bottle down and leaned on the counter, steadying herself.

 “I went to see Emily.” She explained simply.

 “What, why?” Maggie asked.

 “Well, I wanted to go talk to her after seeing how upset you were at the restaurant,” Alex stated, “I went… to go stick up for you.”

 “Alex-“ Maggie sighed, “It’s not your problem to fix.”

 Alex paused and looked at her girlfriend. She wanted a second before she confirmed her fears, before she dropped a bomb on Maggie.

 “You were never gonna really tell me that you cheated on her, were you,” she finally managed to say.

 Maggie scoffed disbelievingly and looked away briefly before stammering, “That wa- that was a long time ago. I did a horrible thing,” she frowned, “And I already feel bad about it, you want to bring it up? So, I can feel worse?”

 Maggie turned around and started to walk away towards the couch, and before Alex could lose her, she rounded the counter and explained, “No, no, no look. This isn’t about the fact that you cheated. Ok? We have all done dumb things.” She approached the couch with the two glasses of whisky, setting them down on the table as she continued, “This is about the fact that you don’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.”

 “I wanted to.” Maggie asserted.

 “Listen, I’ve thought a lot about this. And, you have a pattern of keeping things to yourself” Alex said pointedly, “You hid the truth about Emily, you made her seem like the bad guy, and then before that, you didn’t tell me what really happened when you came out to your parents, and how badly they reacted.”

 Alex could see that her words were hitting home with Maggie in the way that she was trying to keep herself together, in the way she was struggling to keep her expression neutral, even while she was fighting back tears, and she continued, because she needed Maggie to hear what she had to say next, because she needed Maggie to know that it was ok, and that she could trust Alex to be there for her no matter what.

 “You don’t like to talk about you.”

 “I know,” Maggie interjected, because she was not prepared for another girl to give up on her, and she was just so exhausted of having to explain herself.

 “So, I think that when your parents didn’t accept you… you stopped trusting people that are closest to you, and… I totally get that.” She could see the relief flooding onto Maggie’s face as she went on, “But Maggie, you don’t have to be guarded with me, okay? I’m not here to judge you for things that happened in the past I am here to help you heal.”

 Maggie finally looked at her and asked with a voice heavy with the weight of the world, “You don’t think I’m a bad person?”

 “No.” Alex said firmly, taking Maggie into her arms, wrapping her arms around her as she began to sob, and encapsulating her in her warmth so that Maggie knew that she was safe, that she always had a home inside of Alex.

 “Thank you,” Maggie finally said, after she pulled back.

 Her face was wet with tears, and Alex pulled her close, kissed them away, and traced her fingers along the lines of Maggie’s cheekbones soothingly.

 “Alex… I-” she paused, considering her next words very carefully, because she had never said them to anyone but her parents. She had always been too scared of being disappointed and abandoned once again.

 But sitting right across from her was the woman who had accepted her without asking for anything in return, who had shown her that she deserved love, that she deserved to be happy, the woman who she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and the words didn’t seem so daunting anymore.

 “Alex, I love you.”

 She held her breath, not sure of what was to come, before Alex responded, “I love you, too, Maggie. Always.”  

#supergirl #supergirl fic #sanvers #sanvers fic #supergirl 2x17 #supergirl prompts