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jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav · 4 years

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Obey Me: The Brothers Accidentally Trigger an Abused MC (Asmodeus) (5/7)

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert on abuse or mental health. I’m not portraying how one should respond to these situations, only how I think the characters might. Abuse and trauma in particular are very complex topics, and people respond in all sorts of ways to them, and sometimes it gets really bad on all sides.

I can only draw from my personal experiences as well as those of people who have shared their stories or who I’m close with. There’s no one narrative of abuse and how it affects someone, so what I’m familiar with might not be what you’re familiar with. Let’s try and all be respectful of each other.

Content Warnings: Heated arguments, reference to past abuse, parental abuse, trauma response, breaking down in tears, this is quintessential hurt/comfort y’all, buckle up, mentions of alcoholism and abuse of alcohol as well as child neglect

I know abuse is never an easy or light subject, but this also has the added issue of addiction and alcoholism, so I’d like to add a second disclaimer here: addicts are not inherently abusive. If you or someone you know struggles with an addiction to anything, that doesn’t make you a monster or a bad person. I want to make it as clear as possible the problem here is neglect, and MC’s personal triggers related to alcohol, not a grand statement about addiction.

Now then... HERE IT IS! The long awaited fifth entry in this very angsty series. I’d say, “Don’t worry, things will pick up from here!” but uh... I don’t know what to do for the twins, sooooo... I’m not gonna make any promises about timing, but it Is Coming.

Lucifer (X) Mammon (X), Leviathan (X), Satan (X), Asmodeus (you are here), Beelzebub (X), Belphegor (X)

The flashing lights. The sea of sweaty, stumbling bodies. Music that pounds in their ears and shakes their bones. The miasma of a thousand perfumes and colognes failing to cover up the smell of drunken debauchery and things MC doesn’t want to think about. For the first time during their stay in the Devildom, it really feels like Hell.

But this is where Asmodeus thrives. MC sees him on the dance floor now, a gaggle of admirers all but clawing at each other to get closer to him. His cheeks are flushed, from exertion or alcohol no one can say, all sinuous movements and fluttering eyelashes. A demon- a concubus maybe? - is stroking along his upper pair of wings and saying something that makes him grin lavisciously in response. He looks at home here. In his element. Happy.

No sudden drops in energy followed by artificial cheerfulness to disguise the slip-up. No befuddled stares when he thinks they’re not looking. No boring plans with MC to worry about cancelling again.

They should be used to this. They’ve always been a bother to everyone around them, not even their own parents wanted to spend any more time with them than absolutely necessary. More nights than not, they’d carry home the stench of the bar back with them, and MC knew they’d be paying their bus fare with the change from recycled bottles once again.

Ugh, why did they let him talk them into this? They’re so stupid, this is how it goes every single time, they can’t go anywhere fun, all because of that smell-

Someone calls their name, enthusiastic but slurred. MC turns around on their barstool and comes face to face with Asmodeus, in all his lipstick-smeared glory.

“MC!” he repeats, drawing out the syllables in their name. “What are you doing all the way over here? Come dance with me, silly!”

He paws at where he thinks their shoulder is, missing and settling for the front of their shirt instead. He tugs them off their seat and they stumble into his arms. His hands wander and the lights are flashing and he smells like perfume and cologne and that damn smell of alcohol-

MC shoves the Avatar of Lust as far away as they can, yelling, “Get OFF of me!”

On any other day, Asmo would have a) not been phased by the panicked shove of a mere human, and b) recognized the distant look in MC’s eyes as they glared through him. But tonight his blood is more Demonus than anything else so he goes flying back into the crowd. They absorb and push him back onto his feet as one, the membrane of a world he can no longer return to.

All he can think is he came here with MC, because of MC, because they make him feel something exhilarating and terrifying all at once and he’s scared. (Scared he’s too much, scared he’ll push them off, scared he’ll hurt them, scared they’ll hurt him, he wants them close, so close too close please don’t leave-)

He just wants to have a good time, he thinks. That’s all it is. That’s all they are. Except now they’re looking at him like that and he wants to help, wants to forget, too close too close too-

“Fine,” he spits, adjusting the roses on his top as he struggles to remain standing. “I can have more fun without you anyway. Go back to the House of Lamentation if you’re gonna be such a stick in the mud.”

He wishes they’d curse at him. Keep yelling, shove him again. Tell him to fuck off and never speak to them again.

Instead their eyes well up with tears and they run past him into the crowd until they reach the exit of The Fall.

###

MC: Is anyone awake?

Mammon: I am now! Why’re ya texting at 3AM?! Some of us are trying to sleep!

Satan: You’d have an easier time sleeping if you didn’t leave your ringer on whenever MC is outside the House.

Mammon: >:O

Mammon: I DO NOT!!!

Leviathan: what are you normies doing spamming the groupchat

Leviathan: im trying to watch My Demon Boyfriend Can’t Articulate His Emotions Properly So He Compensates By Acting Like A Total Jerk But I Still Love Him?

Leviathan: but i keep getting interrupted by these notifs!!!!

MC: I’m outside The Fall.

Mammon: ALONE?!

Satan: No, Asmo has to be with them.

Leviathan: lol mammon’s simping so hard rn

MC: He’s not...

Mammon: HE LEFT YA A L O N W ?!

Mammon: IM CMOIGNCONEESC

Satan: ...I will go with.

Satan: Expect us there soon MC. Stay safe.

Leviathan: text me when you find them!

Leviathan: Guys?

Leviathan: …

Leviathan: stupid normies…

###

It’s Mammon who stays with MC. Satan quickly checks in with them, making sure they aren’t physically hurt, but seeing their bloodshot eyes and shaking hands spikes his already flaring temper. He apologises and promises he will return shortly, before storming into The Fall, magical flames licking at his silhouette.

MC is curled up on the steps to the club, hugging their knees. Without a word, Mammon takes off his jacket and drapes it over their shoulders. They start at the feel of the soft leather and look up at him in confusion.

“Why are you doing this?” they ask.

Mammon blinks at them owlishly. He gestures to their current position, opening and closing his mouth as he tries to figure out how to start his sentence, before saying, “You- I- He just- You said you were out here alone! A-and then we come find you, and you’re crying in the cold! What’d ya think we were gonna do, drag you home and dump you in your room?” He blushes fiercely as he scoffs.

MC doesn’t meet his eyes as they mumble, “Kinda… S’what everyone else does…”

If it weren’t for the muffled sounds of fireballs and curses being thrown around in the club, Mammon would say he temporarily became the Avatar of Wrath right then.

“Well then those people are a bunch of scumbags!” He taps MC’s chin so they look into his eyes. “You don’t deserve that, MC. I don’t know what my stupid brother said to you or did to you that made you this upset, but I’ll be…” He pauses. “...even more damned than usual if I let you think you deserve whatever he did.”

MC sniffles as their eyes well up again, this time for a different reason. Mammon’s ears burn. He blinks back what are most certainly not tears, and holds out a hand to MC-

Just as the doors to The Fall open and two familiar faces are thrown out by a very large and very annoyed looking demon.

Satan wastes no time. “Apologize. Now,” he demands from the floor, tail thrashing as he rights himself.

Asmodeus, charred, bloodied, and disheveled as he is, can barely get his hands under him, let alone upright. He glares up at the Avatar of Wrath, something vicious and ugly dancing in his eyes. He spits at his brother, blood staining his lips red. Satan lunges at him, claws extended, but Mammon is faster.

He separates the younger demons with ease and stands between them, arms outstretched. “Enough! I don’t care what you do later, but right now we’re taking MC home!” His tone leaves no room for debate.

The walk to the House of Lamentation is silent.

MC wakes up to the pinging of their D.D.D.

###

Asmodeus: please come to my room

Asmodeus: i would go2u

Asmodeus: but I think if i get up now i wilk not make it to ur room

Asmodeus: evertyhign is so bright

Asmodeus: imcsorry

###

He’s typing more, but MC decides they’ve seen enough.

They pad over to Asmo’s room, still in pajamas and comfortable slippers. They don’t even have to flick the lights on to know something is wrong. His normally pristine bedroom is a mess. Clothes and bedsheets are strewn about as though a miniature tornado blew through his closets, and in the middle of it all sits Asmo himself, cocooned in a blanket, identifiable only by a shock of peachy curls.

MC calls his name and he springs to life, jumping up to greet them before unceremoniously falling off his bed in a tangle of fabric. They almost smile at the sight, but remember why they came here and stay in the doorframe.

“You actually came,” Asmo says in a scratchy whisper. He looks up at them and MC sees last night’s partially removed makeup smeared all over his face. His bloodshot eyes water.

“You look awful,” they reply and curse themself internally. What a way to start fixing things, MC.

To their surprise Asmo laughs, an uncharacteristically cynical edge to it. They giggle too, and it’s not long before the pair are both howling on the floor. The tension almost dissipates, until Asmo’s voice hitches and suddenly he’s crying again.

“It’s only fair, right?” he says, voice wavering. “I-It should m-match the inside, no?”

“Asmo…”

“Don’t!” he cries, shushing MC with a finger. “There is no excuse for what I said last night!”

“You were very drunk…”

“I shouldn’t have been!” He processes what he just said. “I shouldn’t have- I was supposed to watch over you! You were all alone in there and I just-”

“I shouldn’t need a babysitter. It’s not your fault I’m such-”

MC doesn’t get to finish their sentence on account of a bruising hug from a still-blanketed Asmodeus.

“Shut up,” he says, and it’s their turn to start blubbering as he continues, “I don’t know who made you start thinking like that, but you are not a bother, or a burden, o-or boring, or anything like that!” He loosens his grip on them so he’s just holding their arms. “MC, what I said yesterday was completely untrue and totally uncalled for. I… I can’t take it back, but I’ll do anything in my power to make it up to you, I promise.”

MC doesn’t meet his eyes for a long moment.

“Tell me what’s been bothering you,” they ask.

“Huh?”

“Don’t pretend with me anymore, Asmo. Something’s been bothering you the past couple of weeks. Tell me what it is, and I’ll see if I can forgive you.”

“...Only if you tell me what got you so upset before… you know…”

“...Deal.”

They leave him on read and refuse to speak to him. At first he’s pleading, apologetic, chasing them down at RAD or in the halls of the House of Lamentation when his brothers aren’t around. They finally give in on a deceptively warm afternoon in the courtyard outside RAD.

“What do you want?” MC snaps, half turned away from the demon in question even as they stop speed walking.

“Please, can we ta-”

“I think you’ve said enough, no?” They rattle off a list on their fingers, “I’m boring, I’m whiny, a prude, a stick in the mud, I need to get over myself… Do I need to keep going or have I gotten through that thick skull of yours?”

Asmo says nothing.

“I’ve done this before, Asmodeus. I get it. I’m easy to take advantage of. That’s why you put up with me for so long, right?”

“That’s not-”

“Save it. I saw the looks on your face when we were together. You were humoring me. Honestly, if it wasn’t for that night at The Fall, I probably would have let you do it even longer.” They take a deep breath. “But- I can’t… I’m not your priority. That’s fine. But I made a promise to not let this happen again. So… Stop chasing me down. I’m not interested.”

It takes him over a week to accept that MC isn’t budging, and another to convince himself that they’re just being stubborn.

Who wouldn’t want to spend time with him? He’s the darling of the Devildom, the Avatar of Lust, the jewel of Heaven - or at least, he was- he’s irresistible! So one human threw a fit out of nowhere at The Fall, whatever.

They’re not worth his time.

That’s why he’s out clubbing so much now. It’s a better use of his time.

A less painful use of his time.

If he can’t remember the nights they’re not with him, do they even count?

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me! asmodeus #obey me shall we date #obey me: shall we date #mine #my writing #asmodeus

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almaasi · 6 years

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reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x22 “Exodus”

“WATCH THIS SHOW” they said. “IT’LL BE FUN” they said. cue me being very stressed out for two hours straight

02:38pm

am i looking forward to this, with absolute confidence that nothing terrible and unfortunate will happen because it’s the deadly duo writing this and it’s near the end of the season and last episode was the whiplashiest of whiplashes? NOPE

am i gonna watch it anyway? .......yeah

hopes: nobody we care about dies

02:43

I DID NOT WANT THIS RECAP

SAMMY DID NOT DESERVE THAT

but also i still haven’t seen a captioned giftset of the moment cas said to dean “dean, he’s gone, we can’t save him”

‘cause wow as far as destiel moments go, that’s a heck of a lot of trust for dean, and a heck of a lot of concern and care on cas’ part

02:46

lucifer: your name is jack

jack: and yours is lucifer

i don’t even know why i laughed but i did??? i don’t think that was meant to be funny

02:48

lucifer: don’t you think that’s his choice?

cas: no

the abusive dad vs protective family saga continues

also i just realised for MONTHS/years? i’ve been using the 24-hour clock on my laptop and didn’t even notice how much i didn’t like it until just now, and i just changed it, and AAH THIS IS BETTER IT SAYS 02:49 INSTEAD OF 14:49 AND I DON’T ACCIDENTALLY TYPE 4:49 WHEN WRITING THESE POSTS

actually in terms of abusive parents vs protective families (expanding on what i said last week), i kinda feel like right now the writers are kinda toning down how bad it can be. lucifer’s so chill about this, kinda, and i’ve known families whose estranged parent is almost a perfect match for lucifer’s behaviour here:

they’ll offer the kid an incredible gift without telling the other parent(s), something the kid can’t refuse because of how badly they want/need it, and the parents can’t refuse without being the bad guy(s), and the whole family then becomes eternally indebted to the abusive parent and is obliged to give them money/time/rights with their child, with the threat of violence, property destroyed, access to said property removed, or instigated legal proceedings if they refuse.

plus the kid is often too young or innocent to understand, they just see an extra parent who gives them nice things, and for a kid from a broken home with not enough to go around, they don’t see the downside, and they maybe never see the threat their parents are under. or they’re physically or mentally abused by their parent(s), but think it’s okay because the parent(s) “apologises” or bribes them with nice things. or if the protective parent(s) try and keep them away from the abusive parent, the kid sees themselves as being deprived of that parent’s love

long story short, people can be shitty, and lucifer probably has the potential to be much worse than just standing around and having a casual discussion

i feel like the extended winchester family verbally defending jack is not gonna be enough, and lucifer’s gonna wanna take back sam, and destroy more while he’s at it

like an “if i can’t have it, nobody can have it” sort of thing

03:03

eyyy felicia day is in the credits

03:04

hug!!!!!!!!!!!

nawww the lil tiny nuzzle dean does with his chin before pulling away

03:07

YEAH MARY YOU PUNCH THE DEVIL IN THE FACE

!!!

AGAIN!!!

cas kinda looked like he was expecting that

03:09

i was busy admiring how mary’s hair was perfectly curly

and then by the next shot it was all limp and sad

if the weather was humid i guess it melted the curl between takes

but also MARY WHAT THE HELL

YOU DON’T WANNA ABANDON ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE AU

BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR SMOL NEEDY HERO CHILDREN

??????

i mean i get it bUT ALSO NO I DON’T

also my face is >:| because they cut to cas and lucifer in the middle of mary and dean having a super important conversation

usually it’s not jarring but THAT WAS JARRING

eehh the deadly duo trademark is all over this

03:15

sam: mom doesn’t wanna leave these people.

sam: ...

sam: so let’s take ‘em with us

YEAH NOW THAT’S A PLAN

MUCH BETTER

take charlie and bobby too okay please

..........aw man now i said that, i get the terrible feeling that one or both of them is gonna go out in a blaze of glory instead, or stay on the sinking ship for no good reason other than because the writers don’t know what else to do with them

edit: i mean there’s still next episode.... (best case, they all survive and get storylines next season)

03:20

see all the stuff lucifer is telling jack is true, and it does remove the blame from the CONCEPT of lucifer

but the personality is lucifer is BAD AND ABUSIVE

like you don’t have to commit horrible crimes to be a bad person to be around

he corrupts the will of others, he tortures them emotionally, he manipulates them

none of those things are first-degree murder, or the great oppression of the entire human race, but they are Bad Things For A Father To Be

03:23

lucifer: i have done bad things, but i just want the opportunity to get better. doesn’t everybody? don’t you?

i actually feel sick ‘cause this is sooooooo very very dangerous

cas was right, talking to lucifer is bad

yeah, he says all the right things. anyone could give him the benefit of the doubt, and perhaps say sure, lucifer’s changed ‘cause he has a kid now, but he PROVED in bringing sam back to life that he hasn’t changed

and not just because of the “i’mma bring jack a gift he can’t refuse thing”, but the “i’mma kill sam again if he doesn’t agree to this” thing

lucifer is a manipulative, blackmailing, flaming trash baby and jack needs better. lucifer might treat jack himself with genuine love, but he’ll destroy everyone and everything around him in doing so

03:28

also? i relate so hard to the fact dean, sam, and cas all see and know the real lucifer, and lucifer’s putting on a show for jack

i think the people i’ve personally felt the least safe around in the past, especially growing up, are the people who are perfectly sweet when you’re in company and then become bullies as soon as the adults/parents/protectors are out of earshot

and there’s no way to prove to your protectors that you’re being hurt because all they see is “a nice person” or “ohh they’re such a sweetie”

i mean it’s the other way around for team free will and jack, where tfw see the real thing and jack sees the perfect angel but yeah

03:42

ketch: take the b&o railroad......straight to hell

good line tbh

03:43

angel to ketch: i’ve sent for an expert in these matters

probably gonna be other ketch

03:44

WHOA DARK CAS

WAY BETTER

he has a twitchy hamster face

where does misha get these ideas

i kinda wanna draw whiskers on dark!cas ???

03:46

THE FACT DEAN CAN GIVE CAS INSTRUCTIONS JUST BY FLUTTERING HIS EYELASHES

and the way he moves his eyes is so soft and gentle and subtle too

it makes my heart feel a thing tbh

even though cas is torturing someone

ugh nonverbal communication is so sexy

03:52

DARK CAS IS GERMAN ?????

and there’s........something misha-like in his smile?? that’s weird

03:54

I AM INTENSELY UNCOMFORTABLE

his two different eyes are cool though

maybe it’s just a trick of the light, or a very subtle contact lens

03:55

fuck yeah that coat

but why is he german, other than clearly being a nazi-inspired character

is it just me or is this legitimately the scariest of all misha’s characters

i want to run away and hide

actually i kinda wanna cry

03:59

that’s better

GOOD CAS, PLZ DESTROY NAZI CAS

04:02

ketch: “well helloo~”

ketch: “are you... actually saving me? about bloody time”

gayyyyyyyy

biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

also maybe definitely a destiel parallel from that time cas beat dean up to stop him saying yes to micheal

04:05

um?????

that smile when real!cas dragged the blade down dark!cas throat ?????

04:08

jack’s like LET ME DO THE THING EVERYONE’S BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR MONTHS/YEARS

IN ONE HOUR

04:11

fuck yeah mary

lookin all swish at the back of the war bus

04:12

????????????????????

??????????????????????????????????

hOW DID THEY GET THE BUS THROUGH THE TUNNEL THAT HAD THE VAMPIRES IN

DID THEY TAKE THE MOUNTAIN ROUTE THAT WOULD’VE TAKEN SEVERAL DAYS???

WHAT???????????????????

04:16

MY HEART IS POUNDING

C’MON EVERYONE YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

04:17

mary, bobby, ketch, charlie, jack are safe!!!! SAVE EVERYONE!!! QUICK QUICK

NOBODY LEFT BEHIND PLEASE

except lucifer maybe

except that would probably be bad in the long run

CAS IS SAFE

YAH C;MON!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M SO STRESSED RN

fuckin feel like i’m trying to pull ducklings one by one through a fence before a dog gets them FUCK

/sobs to self

04:19

I;M GONBA HEVA FUCKING HEART ATACK FUHF

04:20

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE BLACK GUY

DO THESE WRITERS LIKE.. HAVE A FETISH FOR DEAD BLACK PEOPLE

WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM

AND THE CAMERA ALWAYS LINGERS MORE WHEN IT’S THESE WRITERS I’M PRETTY SURE??? someone do a test, go find all the dead black people and check which writers/editors/directors leave the camera lingering for longest

istg these writers do it more often and for longer

04:24

aw MAAAAN :C

dean’s “gaBE nO” though. :c :c :c

04:26

everyone except gabe :c :c :c

(and no lucifer...........like i said, great now, baaaaaad in the long run)

04:29

nobody mentions cas but he’s still there, looking all pretty and being a good, wholesome bean

04:30

SEE? BAD

VERY BAD

04:33pm

it ends

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man that was

........a lot

overall a good ‘un but STILL VERY STRESSFUL

i need a nice calming shower after that, i smell like !!!!!anxiety!!!!

9/10, loses a point JUST BECAUSE OF HOW STRESSFUL IT WAS TO WATCH. THIS WAS NOT FUN AT ALL

BUT STILL GOOD??

I DUNNO MAN I JUST WANT A SHOW WITH THESE EXACT CHARACTERS JUST HANGING AROUND AND BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER AND FALLING IN LOVE AND HEALING EACH OTHER EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND BAKING CAKES AND RAISING CHILDREN

to be fair though, my endless almost-what-i-wanted-but-not-quite dissatisfaction with this show keeps driving me to write 81+ fanfics where nice things happen

win-win????

but this show would still be better with dean/cas cuddles let’s be real

#Elmie watches things #13x22 #exodus #season 13 #spn spoilers #deadly duo #post of postiness

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bubblyernie · 7 years

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Tagged

Tagged i was tagged by @omuii LAST 1. Drink: Milk 2. Phone call: Mum 3. Text message: Also mum 4. Song you listened to: Uhh I think it was the Bojack Horseman Theme but extended. 5. Time you cried: A 2 minute depression cry last night. Felt great 6. Dated someone twice: What do you mean dated someone twice??? 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never kissed 8. Been cheated on: I just got into my first relationship so I mean– 9. Lost someone special: I was 8 and my 104 year old Great Grandmother died, so my abusive ass fam became Worse Yall Ha ha fuck 10. Been depressed: I’ve never not-been depressed buddyo 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’m underage  LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS 12-14: Dark-muted blue, Lime Green and ..?? Magenta?? IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. Made new friends: yes 16. Fallen out of love: Nnno? 17. Laughed until you cried: yes duh 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah, for the first time in my life lol 19. Met someone who changed you: OH HELL YEAH 20. Found out who your friends are: MOST DEFINITELY 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: don’t use Facebook because I’m not 30 years old  GENERAL 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Don’t use Facebook lol 23. Do you have any pets: 2 Cats at mum’s place 24. Do you want to change your name: No? I guess?? 25. What did you do for your last birthday: ate a cake. 26. What time did you wake up: 8 because I gotta go to CHUUUURCH 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: looking at memes on Instagram 28. Name something you can’t wait for: death or getting a fucking job in this torn economy 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Last week 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My horrible pores because my face is gross lookin 31. What are you listening to right now: Drawfee, drawing the Jamper 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: People who aren’t depressed but act super edgy (Neurotypicals who act like depression is attractive or cute idk) 34. Most visited website: tumblr, YouTube  RANDOM INFO ABOUT YOURSELF 35. Mole/s: None 36. Mark/s: I have like, several..brown dots?? Sunspots?? What are they called? And I think my scars are gone idk?? Just got a lot of marks from mosquito bites and random shit 37. Childhood dream: to become rich (oh god why am I being an art student I’m so disappointed) 38. Hair color: brown/black 39. Long or short hair: long, very long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah, my Girlfren and probably like, Chris Pratt, Emma Watson and Ryan Reynolds (what a DILF) 41. What do you like about yourself: I’m small, my body is what I’d like it to look like, I’m ironically hilarious and I’m a pretty indestructible binch 42. Piercings: None 43. Blood type: IDK?? 44. Nickname: Cal, Pigeon and..Cervix 45. Relationship status: @opulentdraws 46. Zodiac: mmTAURUS 47. Pronouns: She / her 48. Favorite TV Show: IDFK?? I LOVE EVERYTHIJG?? 49. Tattoos: None..yet 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: not that i know of lol 52. Hair dyed in different color: ends dyed a lighter brown 53. Sport: 3rd degree black belt in TaeKwon Do, finished Red Cross Swimming levels and I do camping/backpacking.  55. Vacation: i want to go toooo Europe? Or a road trip across Canada  56. Pair of trainers: Huh?  MORE GENERAL 57. Eating: Nothing rn  58. Drinking: Nothing  59. I’m about to: work on my fucking animation ugh 61. Waiting for: the first day of highschool so I can see my Grill in person again 62. Want: A mcfucking job  63. Get married: maybe lets see 64. Career: Creative Director/Character designer  WHICH IS BETTER  65. Hugs or kisses: Huggggs?? Kisses,? Idk I'm not used to human interaction like this  66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: I like people taller than me because I'm 4'11 68. Older or younger: Older?? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Idk????? 71. Sensitive or loud: Both 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: don't care lol  HAVE YOU EVER 74. Kissed a stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: no  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yes when I was 8 78. Broken someone’s heart: when I was 8 79. Had your heart broken: kinda? 80. Been arrested: no 81. Cried when someone died: yes 82. Fallen for a friend: not really?? Kinda?? Sorta?? Yes  DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 83. Yourself: hAHA 84. Miracles: YES 85. Love at first sight: noT REALLY  86. Santa Claus: nope 87. Kiss on the first date: Not sure??  OTHER: 89. Eye colour: Brown 90. Favorite movie: Kingsmen (secret service), The Room (for OBVIOUS reasons) and probably the Lego Batman Movie idk I watch a lot. Also maybe Snatch  i tag nobody because forget it lol

#sunshan #tagged

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dialogue-with-varyu · 7 years

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SUPERNATURAL THE ANIMATION: A Dissection of Dean’s Failed Characterization & Design (PART 1 - The Technicals)

I have a lot on my chest about the anime that I couldn’t really get into in both of my last posts since the topic of what makes the anime series so cringe-worthy is a very intricate one, making the explanation of it all become a SERIES OF ESSAYS. So please read my previous installments before getting into this one because I will be referencing those a lot:

SUPERNATURAL THE ANIMATION: A THESIS OVERVIEW ON JAPANESE ANIME PRODUCTION & CHARACTER DESIGN

SUPERNATURAL THE ANIMATION: THE IMPORTANCE COLOR DESIGN BRINGS TO VISUAL TONE

But anyway, let’s talk about Dean. I’m gonna talk about Dean.

I will talk about Dean because Sam was portrayed pretty okay in the anime and it’s really Dean’s characterization that strikes a chord with a lot of fans of the original Supernatural series. (However I will consider a separate Sam essay to those in favor of it.)

But I haven’t really seen a lot of people put into words about makes them feel the way they do. So what’s the problem with Dean?

Refresher:

While I understand this distinction, I think that we can all agree that the overall interpretation of Dean suck balls and I’d like to argue that:

rather than misinterpreting Dean’s character, the writers were more focused on one of Dean’s major facades and ran with it.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

First, I’d like to address the elephant in the room: Why an anime series?

Why did Supernatural garner enough attention to GET an anime series? What is so special about Supernatural AND anime that a large group of creatives and investors were willing to marry the two?

Honestly, that question is big enough for another essay on it’s own. But the bottom line is:

Anime is watched for the melodrama.

Nuance and subtitles are more akin to live action film since the culture around the different intricacies of a story have larger factors that contribute to it. (i.e, it doesn’t matter what’s written because an actor may just ad-lib it, Murphey’s Law, etc.)

So basically, when you have an animated show what you see is what you get by convention. There really is no use arguing over what is canon and what is not because, unlike an actor, decisions and change of mind can’t be attributed in the moment when it comes to character performance. People are more likely to question the mindset of a decision behind a scene when it’s animated more often than leaving it to the death of the author.

But it’s because of this that anime often has namely traits of exaggeration: screaming characters crying about their passion in the heat of battle, long ass internal monologues, “-dere” archetypes, the works.

Which means that anime characters are usually walking talking hyperbolic symbols. (Whether or not you enjoy this is usually the deciding factor between anime fans and those who are not.)

And this ties directly into Dean.

Because Dean in the anime series is an exaggeration of himself from the original show.

Rather, an exaggeration of one specific facade:

The facade Dean pulls up in season one episode 1. The fake Dean that tends to overcompensate his insecurities with bravado.

WHY this scene in particular is one that actually makes sense.

Mostly because this scene IS a if not THE root scene that cemented Dean Winchester’s starting point launching endless possibilities of character traits to be explored for seasons to come. It’s a highly impacted scene that’s very memorable, both in it’s first impressions and as a point of reference for his development.

I infer that the writers of the anime series saw this and built upon their own impressions of it. Namely, they saw this facade and thought this was the True Dean Winchester. (Which, to those who have watched past season 2, know is very far from the truth.)

So how did they write Dean Winchester?

Dean Winchester is perceived to be like a generic anime bad boy

(I say “perceived” since by all means the Supernatural anime is a reinterpretation with very deliberate changes.)

What I’m talking about are those “thug” type bullies in every school centered anime show.

And while I make the claim that the writers may have built off of the scene from the pilot in painting a picture of Dean’s character in their heads, I’m also led to believe that this decision to have Dean come off as a “thug” is less of a conscious choice...

...and more of a conventional one.

Because nothing fits Fake Bravado Dean like Generic Anime Thug Dude when it comes to a script laden with anime-like tropes.

(To make a more compelling dissection of the writer’s true interpretation of Dean SPECIFICALLY would require me to rewatch and analyze ALL of the anime’s original standalone episodes.

...for the sake of brevity and the fact that I don’t want to rewatch any of the anime’s episodes in it’s entirety because I can’t stand even 5 seconds of this animated drivel I Am Not Going to Do That unless a lot of people ask about it or if people just wanna see me suffer.)

But okay, it’s sort of weird to gauge the errors of Dean’s characterization when this anime series nearly follows the original show’s 1st and 2nd season’s storylines verbatim.

Now that I think about it, it’s even weirder to be so allergic to an interpretation of a character when the source material is being 99.9% faithfully adapted--especially with the same lines and set up. So what gives?

What makes anime Dean’s characterization so off from the original to a drastic degree?

The “mischaracterization” is greatly tied into Dean’s character design and the way he emotes--which affects him greatly on the narrative of the anime series as a whole.

I already criticized the character designs in the lack of coherence in color design as well as execution narratively, but the latter still stands to be a huge major problem since it does just that.

Affect the narrative.

Which means it also affects the characters and the themes.

Which ties back again to Dean being perceived as an anime thug.

And I know this because Dean makes the same goddamn faces as an anime thug.

(In this case I’ll be referencing Space Dandy since I can’t find generic anime examples of side characters that embody this profile despite this stereotype and it’s mannerisms invading vast amounts of shows. However anyone who has seen enough anime will know what I’m talking about. And again, the “look” given by the artistic nuances/techniques of the character design of the anime series is not very original.)

You know what, as an aside I’m just going to throw in the fact that Space Dandy’s “look” is very similar to to the spn anime down to the BL shadows in which Dandy is compared with Redline

And that Jessica is totally generically designed

Anyway, this extends further than Dean’s facial expressions alone.

It extends to his wardrobe which totally starts to unhinge Dean’s persona. oddly enough.

So here’s a round of nit-picking

Why in god’s name is Dean wearing sunglasses indoors? He already went through an entire spiel about ineffectiveness at night

and it’s not like having it indoors makes it any less ridiculous. And yes, he does wear them again in later seasons both unironically and ironically

But these cues of character insight (that people have written far better meta for) is in the context of later seasons and I highly doubt the anime production team could’ve predicted any of this so I’m just going to have a giant ????? over this.

Back to this awful screenshot again.

But seriously, anyone shirtless in the snow deserves to die of hypothermia.

Dean is the last person to feel comfortable with minimal clothing due to years of sexual harassment/assault from CREATURES more often than not

Even more so whenever Dean is naked, it’s used more for vulnerability over titillation:

I hate this stupid screenshot.

It is awful, why? Because anime characters rarely stray from their trope mannerisms unless the story calls for it, or the animators dedicate some time to create impressive sakuga for novelty’s sake. If Dean has body language like this now, that mean’s he’s likely going to exhibit it again no matter what the context is in terms of story or character.

Leading to this abomination.

I know what you are doing. I get it. I KNOW.

I KNOW YOU’RE DRAWING DEAN THIS WAY BECAUSE APPARENTLY TO YOU DEAN IS AN ANIME THUG WHICH MEANS ANIME THUGS EXHIBIT THIS KIND OF UNCARING BODY LANGUAGE BUT NEED WE FORGET THAT DEAN LOVES HIS CAR MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

HAVING HIS SHOES AGAINST THE SEAT OR ANYWHERE NEAR THE LEATHER IS THE SAME AS DEFECATING ON IT. ARE YOU SERIOUS RN??? THAT’S LIKE THE ONE THING DEAN WINCHESTER IS ALL ABOUT AND IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD NOT BE FORGOTTEN ESPECIALLY WHEN IT CAME TO DEVELOPMENTS OF DEMON!DEAN

This...this shit I can’t forgive. This is so absent-minded it physically hurts me. I can’t be the only one bothered by this.

Addendum: I don’t even really care if that’s NOT the impala (in this episode of the anime Sam and Dean were thrown into the backseat of a police car.) I still don’t think Dean would EVER exhibit this sort of body language in any car.

It also still doesn’t excuse the lack of variety in Dean’s emoting and body language as a whole. You could do so much storytelling in his body language (since Jensen Ackles is a master at that) but they instead chose to stick with a template of a character and never strayed from it.

But...I digress.

Incidentally of all places Yuri!! On Ice has closer character designs of Sam and Dean that for some virulent reason exists (Also incidentally, if you so much as breathe the title of YOI you will be immediately blocked I am not joking around. Don’t test me.)

As does Yami Shibai

So it’s not like a competent/more modern design tailored to anime is impossible.

It is very possible. So if you have your defense that the character designs of the spn anime are inherently horrible BECAUSE it’s supposed to “look anime” you’re probably just suffering from media illiteracy.

However, again, I made claim that the “style” of the Supernatural anime character designs are not what make it fail.

It’s the execution of nuances that killed it--both visually and narratively. And I still stand by that.

To form examples, that means more design redraws!!!

However, the redraws this time around will have it’s own separate post since the inner working of what can make or break a design will be discussed and demonstrated there.

SEE YOU IN PART 2!!!

#whelvenwings #supernatural the animation #supernatural #spn meta #spn anime

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