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shirtlesssammy · 5 years

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4x13: After School Special

Then:

Sam and Dean were once kids, and they had a pretty crappy father.

Now:

High school, amirite?

A joyous time where friends call you “slut” so you turn around and call a nice helpful classmate a “fat, ugly pig”, only to have the nice helpful classmate turn around and swirly you to death the next day in the bathroom. Plus your parents set your curfew at 9 pm on weekdays.

April, the girl who murdered her classmate, is in an institution. No one believes her story, but Sam Winchester in white scrubs does. Sam asks about sulfur or black smoke, but April just thinks he’s crazy.

Back in the Impala, Sam tells Dean that he believes April’s story and thinks they’ve got a case of demonic possession. The only thing off about it is that she didn’t see any black smoke. Time to check out the school. Dean sarcastically agrees. “Truman High, home of the Bombers.” (Oof, I’m surprised there wasn’t a referendum in that town to change that mascot!)

(And because I paused the video and was granted this aesthetically pleasing shot, I will share with the class)

It seems that the brothers went to this school once upon a time. Dean wants to know their cover. “FBI? Homeland Security? Swedish Exchange students?” Sam’s got an idea.

Cue Foreigner’s “Long, Long Way From Home”, porn shots of Baby, and a flashback to Sam and Dean’s first day at Truman High. A) Baby Sam in his little Carhartt just is the cutest thing ever. B) For all the math nerds out there, the caption says “Truman High School, 1997”. Sam says that it’s November. So, do the math and Dean should have graduated in the spring of 1997. We all know he didn’t because he got his GED. So, the question remains, was Dean held back in school (a VERY real possibility considering his extreme intelligence and extreme dislike for book learning, and all the monster hunts and moving and being a full time parent, etc.) or is he going through the motions of school just to watch out for Sammy? I don’t know which is worse.

Sam and Dean are introduced to their respective classmates. As Sam plops his stuff down on his new desk, his butterfly knife falls out. Millhouse Barry, another student that will soon become friends of sorts with Sam, notices.

Dean, meanwhile is pressing hard on the condescending, misogynistic bravado that we all know isn’t him at all. I really love this tidbit of information that Jensen gave to Brock Kelly, who played the flashback Dean in this episode.

In Sam’s classroom, while the teacher discusses an essay assignment, Barry gets bullied by another classmate. Sam Fucking Winchester tells the bully to knock it off. Sam, who hasn’t hit his growth spurt yet, is called a midget and Sam, gifted with the self-confidence of a boy that has his tribe (albeit small) and an outsider’s assurance that fitting in won’t matter to his drifter lifestyle (and that butterfly knife in his pocket, no doubt), challenges the bully. The bully flinches.

Present day Sam wanders the halls of Truman High as a custodian. He just walks past his old English class when his old English teacher, Mr. Wyatt, comes out.

Present day Dean is A LOT. He’s dressed as the substitute gym teacher. And well, we all know how much Dean loves to dress up. When he leans into an act, he leans into an act.

He tasks his poor underlings to the art of the Dodge while reconvening with Sam. Sam shames Dean’s outfit, and Dean’s slight look of abashment is so sad. The dude loves to LARP. Sam has been all over the school but not one clue. Maybe there isn’t a case after all.

Meanwhile in Home Ec, Male cheerleader threatens his table partner with a fist to his throat if he doesn’t share his homework. So, the other dude does what any sane person would do and takes said fist and pushes it into a whirling food processor. Sam is there to see the cheerleader whisked away and the other kid fall to the floor, black goo oozing from his ear.

While the school has a non-violence assembly, Sam and Dean have free reign to search the school for EMF and ghosts.

They’re dealing with a seriously pissed off ghost. Dean already did a little searching in the principal's office and found out that there was one suicide back in 1998, Barry Cook.

Flashback to this gem of a school banner:

Mr. Wanek is the art teacher. ALL THE HEARTS.

We’re shown more bullying of Barry with Sam coming to help. Sam learns that Barry wants to be a veterinarian. “You like animals?” dog loving Sam inquires. “They’re a lot nicer than people.” We also learn that Sam is adorable in his little brown striped hoodie.

Dean, meanwhile, is making out with a fellow student in the broom closet. This whole scene is a gold mine for Dean analysis. Needless to say, the more Dean tells the girl about his life, the more her alarm bells are going off for him. You’re life isn’t normal or healthy, Dean bby.

Sam and Barry run into Barry’s bully, Dirk, in the hallway. Sam tells Barry to run while Dirk threatens Sam. Sam just stands him down, and starts to walk away before Dirk punches him. His English teacher breaks it up.

In the present day, Sam and Dean burn Barry’s bones and leave town.

Sam laments the fact that if he could have stayed at Truman High just a little longer, maybe he could have helped Barry. Dean tries to console him, and tells him that it was a good thing they got out of there so soon. Sam doesn’t think it was all bad.

Flashback to Dean raging about what Dirk did to Sam, but Sam doesn’t want Dean’s help. He wants to be normal. They’re stuck in this town for at least another week (MY GOD, JOHN WINCHESTER. This. Is. Child. Neglect.) (Sidenote: Dean tells Sam that Amanda wants him to meet her parents. He then says he doesn’t “do parents” and well, we know he met Cassie’s mom and he met Cas’s dad, so sometimes he’ll meet the parents. Just saying, and welcome to my world where I can make literally anything about Dean and Cas.)

Back in time, Mr. Wyatt pulls him aside to ask him about a “non-fiction” essay he turned in where he describes how he and his family killed a werewolf over the summer. Sam’s only somewhat abashed. He’s clearly taken on the mentality that whatever he does in class won’t matter since they’ll be moving on soon. But the teacher tells Sam that his work is good enough that he could be a writer someday. Sam shuts him down: he has to go into the “family business.” (Hey Sam, you can always write on the side, baby.) The teacher asks him if he wants to go into the family business. “No one’s ever asked me that before,” Sam says. SAMMY. While I weep over Sam’s childhood, the teacher encourages Sam to make his own choices in life.

For Pretty Patterns Science

In the present, Sam heads back to find the teacher who encouraged him when he was a child. Standing nervously outside the door, he’s interrupted by a girl who asks him for directions. “Thanks, Sam,” she tells him when he helps her and then she STABS HIM OH MY GOD. “You got tall.”

She starts beating him up, ectoplasm oozing. Sam shoves a handful of salt into her mouth and expels the ghost.

Back at the car, Dean mirrors the school scene from earlier. He feeds Sam alcohol while he rages about ripping out the ghost’s lungs. “Or, you know what I mean.” They realize that all three of the attacking kids rode the same school bus.

Cut to Dean stalking through the suspect school bus with his shotgun, as one does.

They’re looking for hair, for skin, for anything that might tie a ghost to the bus. Dean finds the bus driver’s recent certification; he started the route 2 weeks ago. He’s the dad of Dirk, Sam’s youthful tormentor.

In the past, Sam confronts Dirk for beating up Barry. When Dirk attacks him, Sam’s had enough. He pulls out his raised-from-birth fighting tactics and quickly beats Dirk to the ground. “You’re not tough. You’re just a jerk. Dirk the jerk.” The nickname spreads like wildfire.

Sam and Dean talk to Dirk’s dad. Dirk died when he was 18 of an overdose. Dirk Sr. tells them that Dirk was poor and bullied. When he was thirteen, his mom got cancer and Dirk took care of her while he dad worked three jobs. As a cloud of guilt descends on Sam, Dean asks for Dirk’s burial site. Unfortunately, Dirk Sr. had him cremated. “All of him?” Dean asks. Dean. Bean.

It gets the job done. Dirk Sr. keeps a lock of Dirk’s hair in the bible on his bus.

That evening, the bus ferries a load of (presumably) football players to a game. Ectoplasm oozes out of the bus driver’s nose. The bus rams over a set of road spikes. I’m asking the screen WHY there are road spikes when Sam Winchester approaches the bus driver. Yeah, motha fuckahs, it’s a Winchester trap. (Related: they keep ROAD SPIKES in Baby’s trunk? Ooookay.) Dean ties up the bus driver, aka Dirk, in salt-soaked rope and then heads into the bus to find Dirk’s remains. He gets recognized as the gym teacher but Dean deflects: He’s 21 Jump Street, man. This ain’t nothin’ but a drug bust.

Dean finds the bible, but there’s nothing in it. Dirk falls into his villain monologue. In his experience, Sam and the popular kids are the bullies - they’re evil. “I’m not evil,” Sam protests because he is CUT TO THE CORE by being called evil. (Me: remembers that this is Season 4 and nods knowingly.)

“We were scared and miserable and we took it out on each other...that’s high school. But you suffer through that and it gets better.” Sam’s words don’t convince Dirk, who bursts free of his bonds. He gets shot out of the bus driver’s body and possesses one of the students. While Sam’s getting the crap beaten out of him, Dean searches everywhere for the hair, eventually finding it in the bus driver’s shoe.

Dean fumbles with his lighter (MY GOD invest in better lighters, boys) and then lights the sheaf of hair on fire. Dirk bursts free from the student and dissolves into flame.

And...we’re in flashbacks again. Dean’s kissing a different girl in the supply closet. Amanda walks in and Dean very, very poorly tries to cover.

Amanda delivers a scathing analysis of Dean: “I thought maybe underneath your whole ‘I could give a crap,’ bad-boy thing, that there was something more going on. I mean, like the way you are with your brother. But I was wrong. And you spend so much time trying to convince people that you're cool...but it's just an act. We both know that you're just a sad, lonely little kid. And I feel sorry for you, Dean.” This devastates Dean, of course. We close the episode with Sam riding an absolute high, beloved by the school and Dean at his lowest. John Winchester shows up just in time, or way too soon, depending on your viewpoint. They climb into John’s car, Sam waves goodbye to Barry, and they leave town.

In the present, Sam finally heads in to talk to Mr. Wyatt. (Sam’s still bruised and cut from the fight so...awkward.) He thanks Mr. Wyatt for the advice he gave him years ago. Sam admits that he made his own choices for a little while but got pulled into the family business in the end. Oh, Sammy. <3 “You took an interest in me when no one else did,” Sam tells him. “That matters.”

“The only thing that really matters is that you’re happy,” Mr. Wyatt tells him. “Are you happy, Sam?”

And...fin.

Rollin’ with the Quotes:

You got your lunch? Books? Butterfly knife?

The whistle makes me their god.

I have to go into the family business.

There may be three or four big choices that shape someone's whole life, and you need to be the one that makes them, not anyone else.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn 4x13 #After School Special #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural season 4

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theamberfang · 3 years

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983

Apparently I’ll be going in for an eye exam and, ostensibly, new glasses. Honestly, it’s something I’ve been kind of worried about because—though the lenses have been fine for me—the frames are old and have a number of visible cracks. So yeah, I’m grateful for this, though I have no idea how my parents are paying for it. I mean, we’re not exactly poor, so I guess my father could just be paying for it outright. I don’t know; I just have this anxiety around money and anything medical or whatever, like an eye exam even, just immediately makes me think of the cost (in a way that I don’t quite think of as much with other things, like food).

Hmm, I’m actually reminded of a video essay I rewatched today. It was about Monsters University from the perspective of disability, and part of it brought up how people who are born talented—born “gifted”—can struggle mentally once they are challenged, because, due to their talents, they hadn’t grown up learning how to deal with adversity. (And the larger point was that this was a way for people with disabilities to find solidarity with those that can appear highly-abled, as Mike and Sully find in one another.) And yeah, I relate to that a lot: probably a big part of my struggle with perfectionism. But where I want to go with this for this post is that I grew up with the social support that’s provided to a military family: full medical, dental, and whatever. It’s stuff that I simply didn’t seriously grow up worrying about, so now I’m paralyzed when having to consider such things. I’m not saying that it wasn’t a privilege, because it was, but I also was left unprepared for losing that privilege as an adult. Like, I figure a lot people reach adulthood with relatively similar levels of medical security that they had as children, so they either never need to stress much over it or they learn how to manage and deal with it growing up.

Speaking of stress, I think “my darkness” was in my dreams last night, except they weren’t present as a bunch of shadows and dark. Instead they had the form of, like, a rapidly shifting animated cartoon-style character. Like, their proportions drastically changed from moment to moment. The context of them showing up was me trying to board up a room/building, as if I were barricading the place for, like, a zombie attack or something—except there weren’t zombies as far as I was aware; I was just doing it against some vague danger. And I guess I had the lucidity to question it, and that’s when this other part of myself became angry at me, and I was lucid enough to figure out who they were.

And I think this dream does have to do with my recent attempts to recognize my paranoia for what it is: and to understand and manage it. Something I didn’t mention from a couple of days ago is that I stepped out into out backyard for a bit: to get some air and sunlight. The thing is that we don’t have any fences or anything; I could just walk over into the neighbor’s backyard, and over to the street out front, without any obstruction. And while I was out there a neighbor kid saw me from, like, their front yard I guess, next to their drive way, and I ended up panicking my way back inside.

I guess maybe “paranoia” really might not be the right word to be honest, because it’s not like I have some delusion that the kid was going to try to, like, get me. It could just be an intense anxiety that would be associated with some sort of personality disorder. Yet, recalling what happened after, I do recall hearing people outside, and my assumption was that the kid told their family, so they were looking around for whoever was “sneaking around”. So yes, I did believe they were out looking for me without any sort of justification other than “a kid saw me.” I didn’t think they were coming to, like, hurt me or something, but the thing is that such an encounter, if they were to find me somehow, would be bound to be greatly embarassing and stressful; I could see it triggering an anxiety attack. And like, it’s probably overly reductive to think that paranoia is only when you think people are coming to do you physical harm. Being unduly fearful of mental and emotional trauma—even if it would probably be unintentional from those inflicted it—could possibly qualify as paranoia.

But mostly my insistence on the word “paranoia” for my symptoms now is to more accurately describe the intensity of what I feel, because “anxiety” doesn’t cut it no matter how I modify it with adjectives. I guess a “phobia” can possibly describe my experience, but I don’t feel like I’m scared of anything specific enough for that.

#daily journal #personal #mental health

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blackgirltalksback · 6 years

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Loud Mouth: Deria Matthews

Photos by Alex Revina

"Black women will always be too loud for a world that never intended on listening to us."

Growing up I quickly learned that it was dangerous for a Black girl to speak up for herself. My voice was policed from the jump and if I had a response I was seen as talking back or acting grown or ghetto. These labels made me fearful of using my voice to provoke change and making noise about things I felt were unjust. However, as I've grown older I've recognized the ways that asserting your ideas as a Black woman is imperative in dismantling and transforming an oppressive society that has always expected silence from us. Thus, the Loud Mouth hashtag is for me is a reclaiming of a label that is often given to Black women who are too loud, too angry, and too ready. Black women who speak up and out against oppressive systems are my biggest inspiration and I coined the term in celebration of their writing and of the mounds of brilliant knowledge they have shared with us. For this series, I will be profiling one of those #LoudMouth writers of nonfiction once a month. I often feel that there is not a space for solely Black nonfiction writers of women/femme/gnc identity, and I wanted to create that hub for myself and other upcoming writers.

The first person is me :) I thought this would be a great way for you all to get to know me and learn more about my journey to writing nonfiction. Get into it!

Did you ever get in trouble for talking back?

“Who do you think you’re talking to?!” That was my mother’s favorite line when I said something “smart” to her or responded (often with wit) when silence was expected of me. Growing up, I knew good and well that I wasn’t supposed to talk back to adults but in the heat of things that didn’t stop me. If I felt that I needed to explain myself or if something didn’t make sense to me, then I expressed that. It got me in trouble often, with that death stare Black mamas have perfected, with a verbal whipping, or with a simple pop in the mouth. The pop was always the worst and I got it a couple of times, and I remember the red of embarrassment and shame that came over me. I also remember later in life just not speaking or trying to fight back to get what I want. It felt futile to me so I would start to just do as I please without conversation, that got me in more trouble but at that point, I stopped caring.

When did you first learn that your voice held power?

I think I was in 10th or 11th grade and it was a day or two after Kanye had hopped onstage to defend Beyonce when she lost Video of the Year Award to Taylor Swift. I was in Sociology and our teacher asked what we thought. There was a lot of conversation but most of my classmates were saying “Yes, Beyonce should have won, but the way that Kanye went about it was wrong. I was kind of annoyed so I started to speak up about it and referenced Kanye doing a similar thing for New Orleans and people being fine with his speaking out then. I think what really annoyed me was that in my household Kanye was praised, he did what was right because he said what we all knew to be true. How he did it was not really a concern, but that he did it, that he stood up for the work and art of a Black woman was enough to defend him. But I remember after I spoke up, the conversation shifted and my teacher making note of that. He was a Black man and he was really respected in my school so for him to acknowledge how I articulated my thinking provoked a shifted the thinking of others really stuck with me. I later went on to argue for the legalizing Marijuana in a debate and he said I should consider being a lawyer. For a long time I wanted to be a lawyer because of that class, but I’m a long way from that now.

Have you ever been told your voice was not welcomed or there wasn’t a space for your voice? How did you deal with that?

My first year at NYU I was so insecure about my voice. I was often the only Black girl in the room and I was experiencing all of these microaggressions, that I was really questioning myself and what I cared about. At one point I was considering transferring and going to an HBCU. I felt that no one understood my point of view, and honestly, that’s how I was going to deal with it. I was going to leave. But I had to take these creative writing classes my first year and those courses really saved me. I was putting my thinking on the page and on the page I had the room to pull from my own experiences and histories that I didn’t feel were taken seriously elsewhere. And my professor really saw me and saw what I was trying to do. She was one of the first people who encouraged me to pursue writing as a career. I remember calling my mother up and being really excited about this new direction.

What are some of your earliest encounters with another #LoudMouth?

My earliest memory of #LoudMouth women were of the women in my family. My mother was always about pushing back against systems especially for the wellness of her daughters. Although she often punished me for talking back to her, she is the one who taught me to talk back. I grew up listening to her “cuss someone out” get what she knew she deserved.

Also, my late grandmother is the biggest shit talker I know. I still think about her cracking on my dad when he tried to shut her down about something. They would always be carrying on about this and that, but I remember my grandmother really standing her ground about the labor women take on to care for children and not letting up on men holding their weight either financially or by doing more.

And lastly, bell hooks. The same professor who encouraged me to write was the first person to introduce me to hooks. We read an essay from Real to Reel and I just remember being blown away at how direct she was, but also how she was pulling from her own personal experiences. bell really taught me that our personal lives are a source of information that can support theory, and by our, I mean Black folks’.

Why do you write, and why nonfiction?

I write because I think. I write because I feel. Writing for me is an extension of my thinking and feelings. It is a way for me to move through and process both of those things. I write nonfiction because it is for me the most direct way to engage in the public sphere, in a public conversation that I find deeply personal. Public conversations about Beyoncé or Nola Darling or Cardi B are important to me because I share an identity with these women and how people think about them not only impacts how they perceive me and other Black women but also how they make political decisions about our bodies. If you don’t believe that Black women have the fundamental right to their bodies and that comes up in how we talk about Beyoncé’s body suit or Nola’s sexual partners or Cardi’s decision to have a baby then how you feel about laws and policies around street harassment, access to family planning, sexual assault prevention, etc. That’s why it’s really important for me to write on pop culture because I think it is a way to get at the fundamental beliefs we have about society in a way that is interesting and not so philosophical and distant. It gives some grounding, a shared language if you will.

Who is one of your favorite contemporary #LoudMouths right now?

This is such a hard question, there are so many, and that’s why I create a weekly list of them! But someone I always enjoy reading and being challenged by is Doreen St. Felix. I would love to see some long-form stuff from her but I’m also just super impressed with how quickly she gets a take on paper. It takes me weeks to put my thoughts together on something. (That’s most likely my Taurus Sun and Sagittarius Rising working against each other.)

But yeah, I also really love Kimberly Drew as a writer and thinker. Whenever I see her speak or when I read her work I’m always just like YES!! and not in an agreement kind of yes, but like yes this bitch is shaking the table yes!! I love when people push the conversation and or just my own thinking deeper (that’s my Scorpio moon speaking). I think that’s the mark of a really great writer and what I aspire to do in my own work.

Oh and my absolute favorite is Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah, she makes me want to write and just be a better nonfiction writer in general. She has been quiet recently, I think maybe because she’s working on her book, but if you have a chance read her profile of THE GOAT, Toni Morrison. Its a gem.

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willemsadventures · 7 years

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2015.

Preface

Many years ago, in a country of cold and craziness, a fire started to burn. And when a fire starts to burn, right, and it starts to spread, well, things spread I guess. I like to think of it as a bright burning flame of adventure. Adventure, with ambition as its fuel. And through adventure and ambition, the decisions in the past years have all accumulated to how I think, where I am, what I do, and where I want to go. However, I have noticed that at times, I measure my adventures against those of my peers, rather than pursuing adventures for the sake of my own happiness. Perhaps for the wrong reasons, I have been pushing myself to find my limits, while withholding me from enjoying the less adventurous moments. I could barely enjoy a slow summer in Denmark, when comparing myself to the lives of the people around me on Facebook, leaving for exotic internships and what not.

The latter is beyond the point of this summary though, and should only function as a starting point for perhaps another essay. Now considering that you’ve already made it to my page, and hopefully will take the effort to read through the stories that I have put together, I would still like to state the obvious; these stories are cherry picked over the last year(s). Not all days were adventures, and like everyone else, even I love to spend a night or two on the couch, curled up in a blanket, eating pizza and watching shows.

A final clarification, before we get into the good stuff. 2015 will be the fourth consecutive year of which I will have made a summary. The thought behind this self-imposed obligation is the hopeful thought that years from now, when the flame of adventure has found its calm without flares or flickering, I will be able to look back upon one of the most exciting parts of my life, and smile. And the more vividly I capture my stories, the better I will be able to recollect them, relive them, and even retell them to whomever cares to listen, allowing my adventures to shine far beyond their momentum.

With this preface in place, I believe I am ready to shed some more light on the last year. A year in which I moved abroad yet again, put myself to the test, and was reminded that persistence is an invaluable part of success. All of this, and more, started in January and February.

January & February

To fully capture the beginning of the year, I have to go back a number of hours before the actual start of the year. At the time, I was five days away from the first official deadlines of my masters at KU. My days both started and ended in darkness, and the thought of a NYE party with some of my friends and fellow students was one of the few things that kept my spirit up. As I clear my desk hours before the moment suprème, I find out that the original plans had been cancelled, and for a moment, I panic, until my dear roommate takes me under her wing. Now before you continue reading, put your judgment aside. No, seriously. Don’t be so judgmental. Good. She invites me to a party at her Scientology church. In all fairness, the ‘party’ was lovely, the food was delicious, and the people were delightful. A little strange, but delightful. My January 1st starts with 4 distinct messages, sent to me approximately an hour after I fell asleep. Oh boy, how unfortunate was I for not being awake at the time. The rest of the first is spent in bed, watching Disney movies and eating Thai food.

The following days become a blur and are completely spent in the library, where I complete 2 twenty page papers approximately half an hour before their deadline. Now where the typical Dane would now have three weeks off, I thought an intensive Danish course would be an excellent remedy for a brain sore from studying. Luckily, I was right, and with new friends and a forsmukke Danish teacher, the next three weeks go by fast. During those days, my roommate invites me to be a part of her next videoclip. After spending 6 hours parading my cape in the fierce Copenhagen wind, the video is done. The month ends with a visit from two of the warmest people I know, Pablo and Rachael. I show my first official visitors the city, and they show me that there is more to the city than my unfulfilling university.

With February knocking, I organize the first mentor dinner for ‘my’ group of international students. Back in my role as organizer rather than participant, I feel right at home. Or maybe it were the endearing individuals from around the world that did this. For Carnaval I escape the city to explore Odense with my dear Elena and Martin. Odense exists because of H.C., is cold, yet has better parties. February ends with what I refer to as the highlight of my year. Now I hope no one stops reading after this, because there’s good stuff later on too, but this just takes the crown.

Around Oktober 2014, when my situation finally improves a little, I can’t shake the feeling of missing the Dutch student traditions. With a wild thought in my head, I approach the QA Programme, Studenterhuset, and whomever likes to hear what I have to say. I wanted to organize a Copenhagen Cantus. Danish society being what it is, this idea takes months to take flight, but when it does, I huff, and I puff, and manage to blow air right under its wings. All parties involved ‘consent’, for lack of a better word, and together with my first cantus committee, we bring together an approximate 90 students. As singers, my amazing fellow former board members from I*ESN Tilburg visit from the Netherlands. As I wash away the stress, and burgers too, with Schrobbeler, I make yet another inspection round. Visitors were meant to be on the guestlist, which had been updated nearly every day before the event, and I wanted to stick with fire regulations. Through the door that I had been guarding, Elisa, Yvonne, Sven and Maria walk in, and while the world is running around, I stop. You want to know if you have incredible friends? This is how you know: They drove all the way from the Netherlands to Denmark, bribed one of my committee members, and joined the cantus under fake names. I lost my words, my control of the situation, and by nothing more than their hugs, I start again, and so does the best cantus of my entire life. The crowd needs a little more than three songs, but with my international guests, Jordy in charge of the punishments, and all of us slowly getting drunk, we wrote history. People spitting in each others’ faces, drinking from shoes, and all for the love of beer. Once more, to all of you who came that night, thank you, for you made me the happiest man in Copenhagen. Until I was soaked in beer, rushed to the toilet to throw up, and came back to find the crowd chanting ‘Philip’ instead of ‘Willem’. Ready for the next months?

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March & April

Writing the following months, I must admit not everything might have come back to me as vividly as I once hoped, considering that I am writing this in August instead of January. Long story short, my laptop was unavailable and I had lost my previous paragraphs.

Around March, I figured I really wanted to see a little more of the Danish country, and joined a wide variety of people on a bussy adventure. In retrospect, we did a ton of things. We dipped our feet in the clashing seas at Skagen, scuffled through the moving Dunes, spent the night in the longest bar street in Aalborg, and then wandered around some more in the AROS museum (rainbow famous) & shot past Odense. Highlight of the trip was definitely the lack of people in our hostel bunk and the hotel balcony!

Having seen everyone else in the Fall semester, and a number of my friends in the Spring semester, heading to Lapland, I knew that for the rest of my life I would regret. Lonesome me spent the first days and a half in a frozen tomb called Helsinki, and from then on the trip was basically a succession of incredible events. On the night bus I met two of my favorite people on this planet, and together we ran into the arctic ocean across the Norwegian border, rode reindeer and fell while leading a pack of huskies (in a bright pink flurry), and alternated between vodka shots in our bare butts in the Finnish sauna and dips in the snow under a magnetic sky whirling with the Northern Lights. In all, the trip was filed under ‘best trip ever’.

With March sliding into April, I did a ton of other things too, always having this blog in mind. Luckily that went by eventually. Together with a number of fellow students, we organized the KUA Cognition Conference, which in the end was a surprising success. That evening I roamed the campus to recruit volunteers for the Copenhagen Summer Cantus, because the Faculty Director decided that he would not give his green light just yet. Next day, I fly to the Netherlands for Tilburg Zingt & Kingsday and I wonder if all the money was worth it, especially since I just missed the biggest I*ESN cantus. Ending April, I visit Berlin, which is much different from what I expected in terms of the entire experience. My clepto-co traveler booked a bus instead of a train, which we missed. The city was much larger (and more modern) than I expected, and despite it all I did manage to see my ESN friends, and explore the deeply rooted culture that makes Berlin (Brandenburg Tor, the wall, checkpoint Charly). And all to end with a giant gamble in order to venture home, and into the next two months.

May & June

May, the month I am writing approximately a year and a half post-factum, starts with the official news that the van Wickle gates would open for many, including me. Brown was in the pocket, but other matters were more pressing at the time.

I remember how most of my time was allotted to the organization of the Copenhagen Summer Cantus. After the remarkable success that was the Copenhagen Cantus, I felt that a second cantus was long overdue, and together with my ragtag team of students we started the organization of an event that went well beyond the previous cantus. Together with my roommates efforts an actual band was secured, under the watchful eye of my committee I was able to persuade the Faculty Director that the ultimate celebration of brotherhood was meant to take place at the Festsalen, and with a mere 2 weeks of promotion, we pulled off a gathering with almost a 150 visitors from 27 countries! The Wilhelmus was sang, punishments were given, and in the end the cantus ended in a blissful drunken haze of red, white and blue (partially due to the university misplacing an entire keg of beer after the cantus).

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The following days both Julia and Koen make their arrival in Copenhagen, and are part of vastly different experiences. Julia and I dance the night away at an impromptu silent disco, whereas Koen experiences the hard rains of the city after our bike ride to Dyrehaven. Not to mention the escalated rum pre-drink, leading up to the Gatsby party.

Yet all suns set and soon I found myself at the desks of the KUA library till the break of dawn once again. However, surprisingly, I was not alone this time. On occasion I worked sided by friends, but always near my companion Rene, who had the same deadlines due as me. I remember how one night the clock passed 5 and I still had to find my way home, and another, when we threw the skippy balls off the second floor. Despite the discouraging hours, the papers came with relative ease.

June ended on unexpectedly happy notes. Maria joins me in Copenhagen on a Erasmus ending adventure including a visit to Tivoli and a surprise from the window cleaners. Numerous goodbyes pass from my fantastic mentor group. Then, Sofie invites ‘the gang’ on a visit to their parental home in Thy. The train is delayed, while Evie fights to contain her excitement to meet Sofie’s brother. During that weekend, our mother of dragons takes on through their estate, drives us to the beach, and makes room for her parents to torture us with traditional Danish schnaps for breakfast and dinner. Concluding, the month ends with Distortion in the streets of Norrebro and Vesterbro. The streets are flooded with people, sunshine, and the deep drums of techno music. The second night, I even lose my friends, join a Spanish speaking community, and have trouble finding my way home. A month with ups and downs.

July & August

As the weather (FINALLY) starts to improve, Roskilde Festival makes its appearance in the grand scheme of things. Last minute peer pressure provides me with a ticket. Together with ‘the Danish Squad’ as I have come to call them, we challenged our livers in a 10 day drinking frenzy. The first four days are spent tent drinking and beer bowling (you actually sit in a chair, throw either a ball or a Converse shoe, and aim for the beer can on the other side of the pitch). A game without a competitor. As the heat strikes, mornings are spent floating out of the sun struck tents, while spending the afternoons eating, drinking, and seeing key performances. Personally, Kygo (literally) stole the show. Months of pre-Roskilde preparation made this moment a lasting memory. The festival ends with Sir Paul McCartney, while the squad stands arm in arm. An ending that was worthy of the festival.

The day after, I fly to the Netherlands to surprise my younger brother at his graduation ceremony and spend the week with family and friends. Back in Denmark the stress for the collection of the right documents for the US gets to me. Acceptance letters, Embassy visits, visa requests… but all for a greater good. Also, Marina and I finally travel to Monsklint, Louise drives me to Tisvilleje beach, and I organize a goodbye barbecue to which I invite most of my remaining Danish friends. An unexpected fellowship, but one of which I hold fond memories. The day pre-departure, I take my friend Eline on an inaugural night of partying, during which I snap the most stunning picture of the final sunrise over Nyhavn.

My favorite roommate escorts me to the departure area on the 17th of August, and yet another adventure begins.

During my first minutes in Iceland, I happen to stumble upon Karolina at the airport. Soon after, Lilja picks me up with her little silver car, barely able to carry all my luggage. For the next 3 days, she is my personal tour guide, and Reykjavik our unexplored destination. From the Golden circle, to whale watching, Reykjavik proved to be fantastic, but nothing could top the final day spent entirely in the Blue Lagoon.

On my birthday, I receive delightful snaps, a business class seat, and my first small iced cappuccino from TIM HORTONS. Sebastian picks me up from Pearson International Airport and his family’s basement is mine for the next few days. However brief, during my Canadian visit I have so many love filled reconnections. Sebastian’s family takes care of my in every way, Michelle and I have a chickenwing frenzy, Janine takes me to a beach near her hometown, with Anna we dance the night away one last time at Phils, and Deepiga shows me the endearing details of her Toronto. My only regret is reunion of La Bastille, but perhaps the future holds this card.

After an exhausting NINETEEN hour bus ride, I finally find a pause in my journey in Providence, where I take the wrong bus… twice. Eventually I find my way to Amy street, where the front door key is left under a broken vase. Jess hooked me up with a couch in her house for my days of homelessness, and Phil, Jess and Walter Shrimp (the cat) give me a warm welcome for the first days. August ends sunny.

September & Oktober

Whether it was August or September, around that time my Game of Thrones inspired post catches the attention of the inhabitants of Wickenden 230. Days after I moved in I knew the extended Dickenden family and I were a match made in heaven. My walking distance campus is perfect, my street is buzzing, for as far as that was a thing in wicked Wickenden, and my roommates sing, swear and sit around. Life is good. On September 8th, convocation day arrives. Now if you have done any research on Brown’s traditions, convocation is when the van Wickle gate opes for the ceremonial procession of new students into the academic world, followed by a commencement speech. And this is where my memory is really clear again, two years later, because after the commencement Sandra took a fantastic photo of me, and together with her and Juhi we went for the best tasting milkshake (at Johnny Rockets) that I have had in my life so far. Strawberry. While at Brown I figured I should take up some sports to acquaint myself with the local students. Now I figured that in general knowing some ballroom dancing would be pretty advantageous for my future, and occasionally I go to classes. On the first Friday of lectures I happen to get lost on my way to my lecture, and while strolling back I see some students playing Quidditch on the main green. One game in and I am sold. Running, throwing… all great if it weren’t for that damned broom between your legs! For the rest of the first months, while the readings are not piling up, Jess and I feel the Bern in Boston for an evening, we spend a morning watching the Brown – Yale football game, and Mathieu drives all the way down from Montréal to share some whiskey shots! Tabarnaque, what a slitchy time! Oh, and the final highlight is a weekend away to Cape Cod with Dickenden. The trip there, what a high, video games, gazing at the stars, watching seals at the beach, what more could you ask for in roommates?

November and December

With the days growing shorter, academic responsibilities steadily grow larger. Most of my days are spent reading and writing articles, and various locations for study are explored. In the midst of all these academics, I luckily do manage to find other ways to occupy myself. One of them is by winning the regional Quidditch championship with the Providence Ashwinders. This leads me to one of the highlights of 2015, namely the Ivy Leadership Conference at Harvard University. Now, as a kid with any ambition, you hope to set foot in Harvard at least once in your life, regardless of your purpose there. But being invited to participate in a conference is a whole other game. In all, the most important learning to take from Harvard is that they know how to throw a party, and that you should avoid rubbing ‘lucky’ objects. Not to mention visiting its bathrooms. In other words, John Harvard, please forgive me. Furthermore, the month of November ends with a super sunny spectacle in North Carolina. At the airport I get my shoes brushed, which is a god given delight. Everything goes well during my first domestic flight experience, until I am stopped at the door of my airplane. Guess what, I was booted off my flight. Semi-stressed I wait for assistance from the airline, and a little less than an hour later they offer me a significant compensation for my missed flight and book me onto a new one. Later that day I arrive in Raleigh, and together with almost-Danish darling Evie, I spent the next few days exploring a new state. Sunny beach? Check! Traditional thanksgiving dinner? Check! A full American tailgate? Check! One more it is confirmed that having friends from all over the world is a blessing.

Back in Providence after a 19 hour bus ride, deadlines present themselves, leaving me to seek refuge in the SciLi long after the sun had risen again. All-nighters almost become a regular occurrence, and mutual support is found in Mariana, who was always there for a midnight adventure. In the meanwhile I continue to apply for embassies, with marginal amounts of success. Yet, once again, persistence proves to be the crucial ingredient for success. Out of an approximately 20 applications, I end up with 3 interviews. Some go well, others less so. One morning at 10h00 AM, I notice I have an email in my inbox, and as I upload one of my last remaining papers, I allow myself to open up the email. I mumble a short hail Mary before I start reading, and the further I read the more my heart starts to pound. Finally, redemption. Oslo wants me as an intern! -now I will exclude the South-African side story here- and focus on my blissful morning. With only a single paper left, and starting preparation for Oslo, my beloved roommate Aaron invites me to Boston for New Years. I happily accept, and live with his family for the next few days in the suburbs of Boston. Time to find peace after a tumultuous number of weeks, in the snow surrounded house. The year officially ends at the Boston Common, after searching for the fireworks of that night. The actual celebration is not so eventful, but the tranquil environment certainly did me well.

Now it would be unfair not to note that the final commentary to this post is written only 19 months after the described events. All I can give now is a perspective from the future. A perspective that evaluates the year from a distance. With this in mind, I would like to say that persistence once again proved paramount. Without it I would not have made my way into the Ivy League, nor would I have had the opportunity to set foot into the world of diplomacy, and everything else on my path. What this really all comes down to is two clichés; ‘Keep your head up’ and ‘Nothing worth having ever comes easy’. I remember how I felt when writing the preface of this post. I felt like everyone else’s life was measured against mine, and getting ahead was impossible. I had to compete, live abroad, be adventurous. And in retrospect, I am happy to see that I lost that urge. My rush for adventure is no longer fueled by a sense of competition, but instead relies on my ambitions. I do what I want. I go where I want to. And no one can stop me.

Don’t believe me? Just watch!

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douglassmiith · 4 years

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Heres How Business Leaders Are Responding to the George Floyd Protests

June 1, 2020 7 min read

As protests roiled the country in response to the death of George Floyd, many Americans spent the weekend in a state of deep sadness and self-reflection. In the midst of a pandemic that has had an outsized effect on black Americans, the graphic video of a black man dying under the knee of a white policeman was simply too much. While it’s too soon to say what exactly will come from this moment, it does feel like a tipping point, and many of the country’s most high-profile business leaders – often averse to weighing in on social issues – seem to sense this. A number have made public statements of solidarity with the black community and pledged to take their roles in the fight for equality more seriously. Here is a sampling of who’s been speaking out, and we will continue to update this story accordingly.

Merck CEO Kenneth Frazier

“What the African American community sees in that videotape is that this African American man, who could be me or any other African American man, is being treated as less than human,” Frazier told CNBC. “What the community saw was, until they went out into the streets, this officer — much less even the other officers — was not even going to be arrested for what was clearly inhumane treatment of a citizen.”

He added, “Even though we don’t have laws that separate people on the basis of race anymore, we still have customs, we still have beliefs, we still have policies and practices that lead to inequities…. I know for sure that what put my life on a different trajectory was that someone intervened to give me an opportunity, to close that opportunity gap, and that opportunity gap is still there.”

Watch Frazier’s full comments here.

Apple CEO Tim Cook

“Right now, there is a pain deeply etched in the soul of our nation and in the hearts of millions. To stand together, we must stand up for one another, and recognize the fear, hurt and outrage rightly provoked by the senseless killing of George Floyd and a much longer history of racism.

That painful past is still present today — not only in the form of violence, but in the everyday experience of deeply rooted discrimination. We see it in our criminal justice system, in the disproportionate toll of disease on Black and Brown communities, in the inequalities in neighborhood services and the educations our children receive. While our laws have changed, the reality is that their protections are still not universally applied.”

Read the whole memo here.

Disney CEO Bob Chapek, Chairman Bob Iger and Chief Diversity Officer Latondra Newton

“The recent killing of George Floyd as well as other instances of lethal attacks and harassment of unarmed black citizens in our nation continue to drive outrage and calls for action by people of all cultural backgrounds, including many of our employees. Feelings of grief and anger cause us to confront the inscrutable idea that the lives of some are deemed less valuable — and less worthy of dignity, care and protection — than the lives of others.

While these devastating incidents are not new, there’s something unique about what’s happening in this moment. The pandemic coupled with these recent injustices have pushed the issues of racial disparity into the open.”

Read the whole memo here.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg

“The pain of the last week reminds us how far our country has to go to give every person the freedom to live with dignity and peace. It reminds us yet again that the violence Black people in America live with today is part of a long history of racism and injustice. We all have the responsibility to create change.

We stand with the Black community, and all those working towards justice in honor of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and far too many others whose names will not be forgotten.

To help in this fight, I know Facebook needs to do more to support equality and safety for the Black community through our platforms. As hard as it was to watch, I’m grateful that Darnella Frazier posted on Facebook her video of George Floyd’s murder because we all needed to see that. We need to know George Floyd’s name. But it’s clear Facebook also has more work to do to keep people safe and ensure our systems don’t amplify bias.”

Read the whole statement here.

Google CEO Sundar Pachai

Today on US Google & YouTube homepages we share our support for racial equality in solidarity with the Black community and in memory of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery & others who don’t have a voice. For those feeling grief, anger, sadness & fear, you are not alone. pic.twitter.com/JbPCG3wfQW

— Sundar Pichai (@sundarpichai) May 31, 2020

Target CEO Brian Cornell

“We are a community in pain. That pain is not unique to the Twin Cities — it extends across America. The murder of George Floyd has unleashed the pent-up pain of years, as have the killings of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor. We say their names and hold a too-long list of others in our hearts. As a Target team, we’ve huddled, we’ve consoled, we’ve witnessed horrific scenes similar to what’s playing out now and wept that not enough is changing. And as a team we’ve vowed to face pain with purpose.”

Slack CEO Stewart Butterfield

It needs to be *possible* to prosecute police for the acts they commit in the line of duty.

Misusing the solemn/sacred power of the office to unnecessarily harm people should be a federal offense and count like a hate crime, increasing the severity of the underlying assault.

— Stewart Butterfield (@stewart) May 31, 2020

PayPal CEO Dan Schulman

“As a company whose core value is inclusion, the PayPal community is committed to equality and justice, and these commitments have never been more important than they are today. Hatred, discrimination and injustice are unacceptable and have no place in our societies. We have seen a rise of xenophobic actions around the world, as the economic and psychological impacts of COVID-19 spread. We cannot stay silent in the face of racial injustice, whether it is within our own communities or outside of them. No one should feel threatened or afraid because of the color of their skin, or who they are, or who they choose to be. We all have a responsibility to end discrimination and intolerance — and to seek justice, reconciliation and healing. We stand with the family of George Floyd and the countless other families and communities who have suffered discrimination, hatred or racial violence. We must stay vigilant and do our part to build toward justice and equality for all people. Our actions, both individually and collectively, can make a difference, especially now.”

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

While Bezos hasn’t made a public statement about the protests to date, he did post an essay by writer Shenequa Golding. Golding explained how difficult it can be for employees of color to carry on in their day to day professional lives after witnessing something like George Floyd’s murder.

Bezos quoted one passage in particular:

“We’re biting our tongues, swallowing our rage and fighting back tears to remain professional because expressing that hurt caused by witnessing black death is considered more unprofessional, than black men and women actually being killed. So if you can, please, be mindful. Your black employees are dealing with a lot.”⁣⁣⁣

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Via http://www.scpie.org/heres-how-business-leaders-are-responding-to-the-george-floyd-protests/

source https://scpie.weebly.com/blog/heres-how-business-leaders-are-responding-to-the-george-floyd-protests

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riichardwilson · 4 years

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Here’s How Business Leaders Are Responding to the George Floyd Protests

June 1, 2020 7 min read

Merck CEO Kenneth Frazier

Watch Frazier’s full comments here.

Apple CEO Tim Cook

Read the whole memo here.

Disney CEO Bob Chapek, Chairman Bob Iger and Chief Diversity Officer Latondra Newton

Read the whole memo here.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg

We stand with the Black community, and all those working towards justice in honor of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and far too many others whose names will not be forgotten.

Read the whole statement here.

Google CEO Sundar Pachai

— Sundar Pichai (@sundarpichai) May 31, 2020

Target CEO Brian Cornell

Slack CEO Stewart Butterfield

It needs to be *possible* to prosecute police for the acts they commit in the line of duty.

Misusing the solemn/sacred power of the office to unnecessarily harm people should be a federal offense and count like a hate crime, increasing the severity of the underlying assault.

— Stewart Butterfield (@stewart) May 31, 2020

PayPal CEO Dan Schulman

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

Bezos quoted one passage in particular:

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source http://www.scpie.org/heres-how-business-leaders-are-responding-to-the-george-floyd-protests/ source https://scpie.tumblr.com/post/619771988238630912

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scpie · 4 years

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Here’s How Business Leaders Are Responding to the George Floyd Protests

June 1, 2020 7 min read

Merck CEO Kenneth Frazier

Watch Frazier’s full comments here.

Apple CEO Tim Cook

Read the whole memo here.

Disney CEO Bob Chapek, Chairman Bob Iger and Chief Diversity Officer Latondra Newton

Read the whole memo here.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg

We stand with the Black community, and all those working towards justice in honor of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and far too many others whose names will not be forgotten.

Read the whole statement here.

Google CEO Sundar Pachai

— Sundar Pichai (@sundarpichai) May 31, 2020

Target CEO Brian Cornell

Slack CEO Stewart Butterfield

It needs to be *possible* to prosecute police for the acts they commit in the line of duty.

Misusing the solemn/sacred power of the office to unnecessarily harm people should be a federal offense and count like a hate crime, increasing the severity of the underlying assault.

— Stewart Butterfield (@stewart) May 31, 2020

PayPal CEO Dan Schulman

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

Bezos quoted one passage in particular:

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source http://www.scpie.org/heres-how-business-leaders-are-responding-to-the-george-floyd-protests/

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laurelkrugerr · 4 years

Text

Here’s How Business Leaders Are Responding to the George Floyd Protests

June 1, 2020 7 min read

Merck CEO Kenneth Frazier

Watch Frazier’s full comments here.

Apple CEO Tim Cook

Read the whole memo here.

Disney CEO Bob Chapek, Chairman Bob Iger and Chief Diversity Officer Latondra Newton

Read the whole memo here.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg

We stand with the Black community, and all those working towards justice in honor of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and far too many others whose names will not be forgotten.

Read the whole statement here.

Google CEO Sundar Pachai

— Sundar Pichai (@sundarpichai) May 31, 2020

Target CEO Brian Cornell

Slack CEO Stewart Butterfield

It needs to be *possible* to prosecute police for the acts they commit in the line of duty.

Misusing the solemn/sacred power of the office to unnecessarily harm people should be a federal offense and count like a hate crime, increasing the severity of the underlying assault.

— Stewart Butterfield (@stewart) May 31, 2020

PayPal CEO Dan Schulman

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos

Bezos quoted one passage in particular:

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source http://www.scpie.org/heres-how-business-leaders-are-responding-to-the-george-floyd-protests/ source https://scpie1.blogspot.com/2020/06/heres-how-business-leaders-are.html

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diehardbullsfan-blog1 · 5 years

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Nonfiction Essay

Kendall Calbert

Due: 2-25-19 Final Nonfiction Essay

Growing up on the South Side of Chicago was never easy, I was raised by a single mother who had myself, my brother, and my sister to take care of. Yeah, our grandmother lived with us and took care of us, but in the end it wouldn't have done much to help me or my brother grow up and become men, we needed more guidance. Our father wasn't around much at the time so our mother would put me and my brother in a bunch of different after school programs to keep us out of the streets and out of trouble. She first started with putting me and my siblings in art class, a football summer camp, after school programs, and a basketball camp just to keep us preoccupied. Our mom moved us out of the city and to the subw-bs outside of Chicago to raise us in a better environment and while we were on the move, the middle school we attended, Ariel Community Academy, had sent all of their students from around 5th to 8th grade to watch a squash match. Being from my area a lot of us had no idea what the sport was, so when we were taken to an outside match it was basically a fish out of water. The game is Tennis and Racquetball mixed together with one wall as the two opponents hitting the ball back and forth to each other against that wall until the other misses. When we were watching the two play their friendly demonstration game of squash, the entire thing looked as clean as if it were choreographed, executed to the finest extent. Both men were getting to every shot all around the com1 in only a few steps or less, hitting the ball extremely hard to each other. For the most part all you heard were the sounds of the athlete's shoes scraping the floor, the pounding of the glass wall, and the grunts on each men as they chased after the squash ball. We were astonished by the play of both athletes, and instantly became interested in the sport. They offered everyone to come and try out for the team offering a scholarship for college, tournaments out of town, and after school tutoring. Of course, the kids who either didn't care about squash, or were already committed to om basketball team didn't want to join, but it was a no brainer in our minds and a lot of other kids in om school thought so as well. This program would change our lives for the better if accepted, and it wasn't something we were going to let past. When we tried out for the team there was only a select few getting into the program, including me, my brother, and a couple of om other friends from school. The process for getting into the program was a bit challenging. First, we had to do work outs to test our athleticism, we then did drills for beginners at squash, and finally we had an interview with the head of Metro Squash to assess if we were good additions to the program. After we left tryouts, they would call you in a few hours to let you know that you had gotten into the program, and I found out when I was playing video games with my brother. Our mother walked into our room as we were on the floor playing the Play Station, and she told us, "You guys didn't get into the program". When those words came out of her mouth I was disappointed, but me and my brother showed no reaction and kept on playing the game as if she didn't say anything, after a while she then stated that she was just joking, and that we both and our cousin got accepted into the program. After that, I was relieved, and so was my brother, but we still kept our eyes on the TV focusing on the video game as if she did not say anything as she closed the door. Coming into the program me and my friends were just focused on the tournaments and going to different cities around the world, coming from our situation it would be kind of hard for a big family to take all their kids outside on the city to go out and see the world, but it took us a minute to get the hang of squash and once we did our competitive nature come out and we started taking squash seriously. I remember it was our first tournament in Detroit and a lot of us new kids could go to that tournament and compete for a real trophy against our rival programs in different cities, and this was something that we trained for weeks and wanted to win so badly, as we drove to Detroit with confidence. When we got there, I was expecting to see a bunch of other white kids around playing squash because the sport is typically known as a "white people sport". Considering all of our coaches were white, and the best athletes listed that had come to a few of our practices to come and play with us were white, it was just something I assumed. The shock on my face when we walked into that arena and saw that there was going to be a lot of black kids competing against us for the trophy. It was a good feeling that made me more comfortable, seeing the diversity in the room and on the court, knowing that there were other squash programs in different neighborhoods and in different cities with kids that looked like me, was a comforting thought. It made me want to go out there and perform, but some of the top kids in the opposite programs were white and we still had our eyes on the prize, wanting to go in and destroy everyone who got in our way. When the matches started there were nerves surrounding our either team and it took us a minute to get into our element, but we eventually found our footing and took over the entire tournament with my match depending on weather we would have won the tournament or not. Considering it has been a few years since it happened, I do not remember the just of the entire match, but I remember when I got on court for my first ever squash match, my heart was beating out of my chest. I stepped in to see my opponent already on the floor hitting the ball hard repeatedly against the wall, making shots that I could not, and instantly feeling intimidated. As I approached my side of the court, the guy tossed me the squash ball so I could worm up the ball as he would stretch in the corner. After getting a few shots in, I was still nervous about the game and was ready to start the match. In squash to decide who serves first, you pick between two signs on the bottom of a squash racket, "up or down", and whatever side the symbol landed on was who would get the ball first, basically like a coin flip in football. I won the toss and was able to serve first. As I went back to my squash positioning myself for the serve, my opponent moved to his side of the court looking as relaxed as possible. I served the ball to my opponent and the match begun. For the most part me and him were evenly matched, going back and fourth with shots. Nobody could really break away early and as the game starting wearing on, the more and more I got comfortable. I started playing my game, getting to every ball and making him run all around the court wearing him down. I ended up winning my match and not only did we just beat our biggest rivals in Detroit, but we beat every other team in the tournament and won the trophy to bring it back to Chicago with us. It was the best feeling in the world leaving Detroit in our first real tournament and coming home with the trophy, for the entire ride it never left my hands. Throughout the rest of my squash career we got better at the sport and started catching a lot of teams by surprise, there would be times where we would go to different colleges and tournaments and come out with wins. I was in the program from 6th grade to my senior year of high school and I am very appreciative. They helped me with my grades, took me around the country, and gave me a scholarship for my college. Metro Squash gives all of the students in their graduating class a scholarship that they can use on anything, mostly things school related, and that is very helpful to college students who don't have many resources. They keep you comfortable. Metro Squash has done a lot for me and without that program I'm not sure how I would have turned out and I came to that realization after I had just graduated from the squash program a few years ago, that I was very lucky to have this organization behind me throughout my life. When I was coming up, they kept me out of trouble, motivated me to do better both outside of school and in. They have introduced me to people I would have never seen in my life, making me some lifelong friends in the process, and also giving me connections with people to use for the future. They have taken me out of Chicago and to many different states around the U.S; I also went out to Canada where we won the silver medal in a national squash tournament. I'm still really upset about that one, but I've explored different states that I wouldn't have had the chance to ifl hadn't joined. Even to this day now that I am in college, they have still supported me and helped me with my grades or checking in on the process and sending me care packages just in case. A lot of kids don't get this opportunity and support that I had, and I am very grateful for the experience and will continue my relationship with the program.

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republicstandard · 6 years

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The Standard Conversation: YouTuber 'The Iconoclast'

The Iconoclast is a content creator and now hard copy magazine publisher from the north of England. His growth since beginning his channel a year ago has been nothing short of meteoric, having just passed 60,000 subscribers. His videos make insightful commentary on politics, demographics, Islam and Western culture.

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RS: What led you to start your YouTube Channel?

My friend and I, both avid viewers of other YouTube channels at the time, would sit in the pub and rant about politics every day. We'd talk about the latest content creator we'd discovered and recommend channels to each other. One day my friend told me I should start a channel of my own, considering I have a background in video production and an endless supply of obnoxious opinions on the world. I kept making excuses not to do it though as I was still pursuing various things in my “real life”, and I knew starting a channel of that nature could jeopardize those ambitions. Well, to make a long story short, those other plans fell flat on their arse, and suddenly I had nothing to lose. I started making videos slowly and enjoyed the feeling of finally being able to get so much off my chest, as there was nobody in my life (other than my mate) who aligned with me politically, and I always felt as though I needed to keep my head down and mouth shut for fear of social exclusion. Soon enough, an audience began to grow, and here we are.

RS: What's the purpose of 'The Iconoclast' as a name? Why not go public?

I knew I'd be discussing controversial topics on my channel, so I felt having an internet moniker was the safest way to go. Also, just from a production standpoint, having my face on screen wouldn't really add anything to the content. I know a lot of people enjoy getting to know the personalities behind the YouTube channel, and there will be a day where I appear as myself, but I didn't want to make my channel about me. Plus, The Iconoclast is just a cool name in general.

RS: White genocide is real. How do you see the next 30 years or so playing out? Is there a way back for The West?

Despite the depressing nature of the topics I cover in my videos, deep down I am an optimist. Hard to believe, but it's true. Sometimes my optimism gets severely tested (most days) but I truly think the European people have the will to survive. I don't think this survival process is going to be pretty though- I think we're in for some really rough times, but that was always going to be the case when you have a political class who routinely ignore and talk down to the people they're supposed to represent. Eventually, the populations of Europe will have no choice but to take matters into their own hands, and in some respects, they're already starting to do so. The dramatic rise of populist movements across the continent, as well as street protest groups, signals a Europe-wide mentality shift. If our leaders don't take this seriously, they will be replaced.

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RS: Your channel has exploded in popularity. Any ideas why that is?

Authenticity. I think people can see that I'm just a normal person trying to make sense of what's going on and they identify with that. I don't try to put on a performance with my videos, I just present the information and give my opinion. Pretty simple. Of course, I try to keep my production standards high, which is part of the reason why I'm not an every day uploader, but I believe in quality over quantity. I'll never make a video where I talk down to my audience, and I'll freely admit when I'm unsure on something. Some YouTubers go out of their way to let you know how many books they're currently reading, or which online course they're taking in an attempt to paint themselves as some sort of expert – I'm not interested in that. I also stay away from YouTube “drama”, and I know my audience appreciates it.

Or subscribe to me instead. https://t.co/CenDlM5ARe

— The Iconoclast (@IconoclastPig) February 14, 2018

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RS: Brexit is going ahead -slowly. Do you think the British political elite are capable of delivering on their obligations?

I think they're capable but it's clear they don't want to. Like I said earlier, our political class regularly ignores the concerns of the public, and even when we had a majority of the country vote to leave the EU, they're still trying to derail the process. It's quite amazing actually, these people constantly blow hot air when they talk about “British values”, but here they are blatantly trying to reverse democracy. Not all of our politicians are bad, however, I'm a big fan of Jacob Rees-Mogg, and I hope he takes some inspiration from House Of Cards and positions himself as the new Prime Minister pretty soon. But the fact remains, the majority of our elected officials hold the British people in contempt. Brexit is up in the air right now. I think we'll end up completely crumbling and getting some bullshit half-in half-out sort of deal with the EU, which would mean we'd effectively still be inside it. But you never know, we may be pleasantly surprised (although I doubt it).

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RS: Is there a peaceful way to resolve the problems (rape gangs, jihad, Islamisation) posed by large Muslim communities in the United Kingdom?

Unfortunately, I don't think so. Ten years ago, maybe. Now we've allowed things to go too far. Our immigration system is broken, our police are cowards, and our left-wing press tries desperately to cover up crimes committed by certain demographics. After every terror attack the narrative is “Don't be Islamophobic!”, after every new rape gang that's discovered it's “White people rape girls too!”, instead of tackling the problem of jihad we should really be concerned with “far-right terrorism” etc. To be honest I'm shocked things haven't kicked off already! After the Rotherham scandal was made public, I thought for sure people were going to lose their cool. Maybe it's the typical British attitude of rolling with the punches, or that stupid slogan “Keep calm and carry on”, but there's only so much people can take. If the government are really so concerned about revenge attacks against UK Muslims, they need to sort out the core problems associated with it - end Islamic immigration, deport those who don't have legal rights to be here, end foreign funding of mosques, and police Muslim neighbourhoods properly. But like I said, as of now things are looking grim. Purely from a demographics standpoint, many cities across the UK will be majority Muslim in the near future. Most of the school kids in Birmingham are Islamic. Even my small town in the north is starting to experience Muslim immigration. My local city recently had a rape gang scandal hit the news. Things are bad. Of course we'd all like to avoid blood running through the streets, but the way successive British governments have continuously brushed this problem under the rug, a boiling point is simply unavoidable.

RS: America is seeing a growth of motivated and often violent leftist groups in response to Donald Trump. Have you noticed anything similar in the UK post-Brexit vote?

They exist but they're nowhere near the level of ANTIFA in the US. Our leftists spend more time crying on the floor than punching people. Although recently we had a small group of them crash a Jacob Rees-Mogg speaking event at a university, but the only thing that happened there was a bit of shoving and pushing. If you're asking me whether the potential is there for these groups to grow and get violent, I'd say definitely, but as of now, they're relatively tame.

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RS: You've made the decision to publish a magazine to accompany your YouTube Channel- what led to that?

To put it simply, The Iconoclast magazine is a platform for regular people to express themselves politically. It's an open-submission format where I encourage people to come out of their shell and talk about what's on their mind. I don't agree with all the opinions I decide to publish, but I think that's important. There were a few reasons why I started it.

As amazing as the internet is, I've always sort of resented it for damaging physical media. One of my favorite things to do when I was younger was to spend my Friday nights at the video rental store picking a selection of films to watch, then I'd go next door to order a pizza, and my night was all set. I know these days you can fire up Netflix at the touch of a button, but to me, that only means you can discard media just as quickly as you can acquire it. Back in the day you had to commit to your choices because you had to invest so much more time and effort. I wanted to bring a sense of that back. Having something “real” you can hold in your hands creates a sense of legitimacy. I also didn't want to get trapped in a small little corner of YouTube, because in the grand scheme of things it's actually not that influential. There are so many people out there who are just as politically frustrated as the rest of us, but they have no connection to the YouTube sphere at all. We need to reach these people, and I've found one of the best ways to do so is by putting physical media out into the world. So The Iconoclast magazine aims to bring a wide range of political and cultural essays to people in a different format. I get a lot of messages from readers who tell me they've let older family members borrow the magazine and they now watch my content (and others) on YouTube. The writers and contributors to the mag are normal people from all over the world who desperately want to express themselves, but aren't comfortable with video production, or prefer the pure anonymity and freedom writing can provide. If a magazine like The Iconoclast was around before I started my own channel, I think I would have contributed to it myself.

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Sometimes I look at other YouTubers who have 10 times my audience, and I imagine to myself “God if I had that many subscribers I'd have done this, this and this”. I don't think people are taking enough risks. YouTube provides a false sense of comfort and security for a lot of creators and they stop pushing themselves. I wanted to try new things, get into different mediums, and actually try to influence things and people in the “real world”. Whether my magazine does that effectively in the future, I'll have to wait and see, but it's a start. The enthusiasm from my audience for the first edition was off the charts, and I only hope the project continues to grow and I can build something really impressive and exciting.

RS: Best of luck with your career- keep fighting the good fight. Thanks for your time.

The next issue of Iconoclast Magazine will be released in early March and will be available to buy in physical form as well as digital. You can subscribe to The Iconoclast YouTube channel here.

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