#I get it Martin

[kahpao]

Some ramblings about myself and The Lonely.

I think I’d be Lonely aligned/an avatar for many reasons. And I hate it. I don’t WANT to be lonely. I don’t want to feel like my friends secretly hate me and don’t want to hang out with me. I don’t want my brain to spiral whenever days go by without hearing from my friends. I don’t want to feel like if I don’t reach out to them they won’t reach out to me because they don’t actually care about me.

But that’s how The Lonely is, right? It’s the fear of being alone, unwanted, unimportant. Being left behind or replaced. I’ve always had that fear, but it wasn’t until TMA that I really, realized that.

God do I relate to Martin. The always trying to be helpful and put others first, be cheerful and put on a smile, never ask for help but always offer help. Because if I’m not being useful, why would people want me around?

I’m a deeply lonely person. Not to say I hate being alone - I do like being alone. I like having time to myself, without the watchful eyes or prying questions of others. I don’t have to explain myself, I can let my walls come down. But, I also don’t want to be alone - not all the time.

I want to be able to be myself around others, without feeling like I have to hide parts of who I am. I want to feel like I’m, well, wanted. I do want to be known, I swear I do… but I don’t want to feel like I’m a burden. Sharing these parts of me feels like I’m giving my friends unwanted information. What if they don’t like what I show them, what if what they see makes them realize they don’t want to be my friend?

So when I feel sad and down and lonely, I don’t reach out to my friends. If they really cared they’d reach out to me, right? Why should I always be the one to be there for them, when they’re not there for me?

I’m lonely. I don’t want to be. And yet, this loneliness is familiar. There is a comfort in the lonely.

I get it, Martin, I do.

#tma #the magnus archives #the lonely #I get it Martin #Tma ramblings #martin blackwood #Martin Blackwood why are you so relatable to me

[the-zenith-calls]

sorry about your boyfriend. yeah he’s trapped in windows 95. you are also trapped in windows 95

#the magnus protocol #yes i know it’s windows nt being wrong is the point #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol spoilers #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #you’ve heard of superhell super heaven and super time #now get ready for super internet #i guess

[elena-illustration]

“all the deaths could have been prevented if andrey and goncharov just had gay sex” well what if they had gay sex and then still did the killings. i think they deserve to have some killings as a treat

#like seriously i don't know how anyone could watch the train scene and then be like 'oh yeah some gay sex would be enough to fix these guys #OR THE BRIDGE SCENE?!?!? #come on now #goncharov #goncharov (1973) #martin scorsese #robert de niro #film #cinema #gonrey #my art #i'm really glad goncharov is getting popular on here so i have a chance to post some gonrey 🥲 #unreality

[area51-narutorun]

My favourite moments from Goncharov (1973).

#i just can't get over the aesthetic of this film #the symbolism of katya always wearing white except in the final scene #the lighting ahhh #that scene of andrey in the church Did Things to me as a young repressed queer person #don't even get me started on andrey and goncharov dancing together as katya watches #gonchey ftw #goncharov #goncharov 1973 #goncharov 50th anniversary #unreality #katya goncharov #goncharov andrey #martin scorsese #film

[gravizentrum]

they put my bois in the puter...

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #rusty quill #jonathan sims #magpod #martin blackwood #jonmartin #sam khalid #alice dyer #the magnus archives #tma podcast #the magnus pod #tmagp spoilers #tmagp speculation #tmagp sam #Guys please I get tha it's NT and not Windows 95 but this is just a funny meme #there's no reason to get so mad about it 😭

[barbiediamondcastleofficial]

I love jmart. What do you mean the tragic hero is a hopeless romantic and the poet is a realist. Incredible im on the floor

#Boy when I get time to write that Martin Blackwood trope subversion paper #tma #jmart #the magnus archives

[kaijukebox]

Ah yes, returning to my Jmart roots.

-

No refs today

#sorry hugs are a damb mess I’m just tryna get back to where I need to be!!!! #IVE MISSED THEM #TMA #the magnus archives #Jonathan sims #Jon sims #martin blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #100hugs2023 #hug 84/100

[misclotus]

wherever you go, I go.

#tma #tma podcast #tma jmart #tma fanart #tma jon #tma martin #the magnus archives #the magnus archive fanart #the magnus pod #the magnus institute #jonathan sims #jon sims #martin blackwood #i really hope someone gets where the house image is from 😭 #eye imagery and symbolism my beloved #jmart #digital art #procreate #fanart

[artlefty]

finding a flower meadow in the apocalypse and making the best of it with your antichrist bf

#this is absolutely based on that one midsommar press poster #the art with the eyes and the flowers it's so good #also very watcher #one day i may clean this up but that day is not today #today you get a sketch #jonmartin #jonmart #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #jon sims #tma #tmaposting #the magnus archives

[occudo]

'We need you... I need you.' 'No, you don't.'

#occudo's art #tma fanart #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #still on my lonely blues #just how many lonely fanart can I make with these colors #before i get sick of it #we'll find out #right down to the monochrome

[andreycoded]

Cybill Shepherd as KATYA GONCHAROVA and Robert De Niro as GONCHAROV in GONCHAROV (1973) dir. Matteo JWHJ0715 produced by Martin Scorsese

#goncharov #unreality #martin scorsese #cybill shepherd #goncharov 1973 #robert de niro #i want to say this was quick but took me way too long. I was gonna add the shots of him getting out of the car but not tonight #personally I loveeeee how the shot lingers on Katya's face after the door is shut #she's a woman LOOKING #v gifs #my edit #gifs #katya goncharov #katya goncharova #katya #cinema #clarification: the shots are from The Godfather (2?) and #cybill shepherd shots from at long last love

[bigweenie]

saw a post and had to pop this out real quick

#jonathan sims #martin blackwood #elias bouchard #the magnus archives #myart #jonmartin #it took me ten billions years to get elias' stupid face right #worth it tho i thinl

[somethingcorenotsure]

I think it's so adorable that early humans took wild gourds - a tiny fruit that hollows out as it dries, making it float - and decided to make something out of it

they thought the tiny fruit was so good that they bred it for thousands of years, making it larger to form into bowls and cups, and different shapes to become bottles and spoons

and musical instruments

And then, people took the hollow gourds they farmed, and they turned them into houses for birds. We adapted them into the perfect houses for birds, and now there are specific breeds of birdhouse gourd just for making into birdhouses

And humans dedicated gardening space and time and thousands of years of breeding to make the gourds so absolutely perfect for birds, that there is a species of bird that lives almost exclusively in them

#yes I KNOW i posted about this the other day but *crying* i just love plant domestication and the history of agriculture #and humanity's positive affect on the ecosystems we live in #mine #image IDs in alt text #hmm. I'm gonna tag this #permaculture #just to pspsps @ that community to look at how cool gourds are please everyone grow birdhouse gourds and give cavity nesters places to live #i don't think mine will become fully ripe before i get my first frost :( next year i need to start gourds indoors #i didn't want to grow them before because i didn't have much garden space but now i do and i need to grow all of them #i might be. a little obsessed with gourds. but also i saw a pair of purple martins flying by the road last year #and i had never seen one before then! and i need to see more of them #i have a few hundred barn swallows but i need more birds flying around my house. more!! #and also i have a ton of invasive cavity nesting species around here. house sparrows and starlings. #gotta make up for those things competing with native birds for nest dites #*sites #the invasive birds very often win :/ #that's why they're invasive #i really do need to start trapping them....

[potato-lord-but-not]

wugh wugh wugh I can’t stop drawing them

#need to draw melanie !!! and I want to get to Oliver (?) right now I need to draw him #artists on tumblr #traditional art #the magnus archives #the magnus archive fanart #tma #tma fanart #jon sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #gerard keay #gerry keay #basira hussain #alice tonner #daisy tonner #georgie barker #tma s2 #tma s3

[orchidbreezefc]

ok. years have passed and we've had some distance, so i'm finally gonna take the leap of faith that tma fandom is finally ready to hear me on this. let's talk about tannins.

161 was the first tma episode i heard on early release, and i felt the bit where martin declines wine and cites tannins was pretty obvious in its implications. cool, got it, say no more.

imagine my surprise when i was one of maybe three people i saw read between the lines there, in a fandom famous for red stringing--a fandom that immediately caught the much less obvious thread of ignition sources in the same episode. i'll spell it out: alcohol is an issue for martin.

maybe it just felt obvious because addiction is a pet issue for me--as it is for jonny, who has said everything he writes is filtered through a lens of addiction. i don't know if that's due to his own experience or a loved one's, and i won't speculate; i also don't know if martin personally struggled with drinking or just avoids it for fear he would, but alcohol would fit what we know of his family. his dad walking out and his mum spiralling into bitter wallowing and verbal abuse? i'd bet one or both of them drank, yeah.

on a basic level martin tries to decline alcohol, and that alone should have raised eyebrows given what we know of martin and, again, a fandom that dissects everything. we already knew martin "K" blackwood lied about his personal life and his family in particular, especially pre-canon, which is when this flashback took place. i was shocked that everyone took his flimsy excuse at face value with no further questions.

and the excuse is flimsy. martin turns down wine by--nervously--exclaiming tannins are "a proven headache trigger!" which sounds like trivia from a magazine cover and not the words of someone who actually has headaches--and it hasn't come up before or since. jon, confused, points out that tea, a drink martin consumes to a degree that is memetic both in- and out-of-universe, also contains tannins, and martin squawks a panicked, "what?!"

if tannins are enough of a concern for martin that he knew they're in wine and so avoids it, why didn't he know they're in his drink of choice? why does he still drink tea at the time of canon, and why doesn't he struggle with constant headaches from consuming 'a proven headache trigger' day in and day out? why, indeed, would someone avoid wine and not tea?

when sasha insists martin drink he caves and agrees to 'just a drop'. i imagine him pouring it in a plant, which admittedly he could have done if tannins really were the issue. i will say that i, for one, would be less likely to falsely agree to something that makes me physically ill than to a private issue that i'd rather not be pressed on any further. this scene also establishes martin's birthday was an ice cream party instead of the more traditional visit to a pub.

also, this scene was in the first episode of the final season, as one of three flashbacks that could have been to any pre-canon event in the archives. prime narrative real estate. not really time one would waste on establishing the important character context that martin has... headaches. which never comes up before or after, even regarding the week he spent in spiral town. but you know what is pretty crucial character background...?

it felt like a no-brainer, and yet all i saw was h/c fluff about jon attending to martin's headaches. and i hate feeling bitter about disability representation. i want folks with chronic headaches to feel seen and have fluffy escapist fantasies. i don't want to be mad about people portraying a character with a disability. but, guys? you got the wrong disability. jonny sent a clear message, and it went over fandom's head.

#martin blackwood #tma #the magnus archives #tma meta #the magnus archives meta #tma 161 #mag161 #sage speaks #sage original post #meta #im sure others caught it that i didnt see but listen. i was DEEP in the fandom. people getting it made up maybe 1% of the response i saw #and i had people fighting me for saying it #alcohol cw #alcoholism cw #addiction cw #greatest hits #wonderful news: tma fandom WAS ready to hear me say this!

[theallegedbird]

get ushankaed losers

#id in alt #cheil my new otp #trying so hard not to get my hopes up that is actually them or some alt version of them #failing miserably #when i tell you i screamed when i heard their voices.. #drew this all just with the lasso tool so i could feel something #tmagp #the magnus protocol #tmagp spoilers #tmagp fanart #tma #the magnus archives #tma fanart #the magnus protocol fanart #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #fanart #avery draws #cw eyestrain #cw bright colours #1k #2k