#I fell asleep while writing starlight - I altered it a bit.

[fearlesslyenchantedinwonderland]

RED REVIEW

I don’t know I’m just in the mood. I’ve listened to all of Taylor’s song’s endlessly but what do I think of them now in comparison to when I first heard them. It’s also good bc I haven’t properly listened to this one all the way through for a while. I deleted a bunch of music from my phone to have space for pictures when I went to a concert back in May. And I’ve been listening to recent stuff recently (not just Taylor). But this also makes it better…bc I feel like you can appreciate music even more sometimes when you haven’t heard it in a while

Anyways longest intro ever, I am pressing shuffle and to the music we go

Maybe one of the reasons this is the first album I feel like doing this with is because it’s fall and its gorgeous outside and ofc RED is the autumn album.

1st Song Holy Ground: 

I have to pause this immediately because I find this ironic - the rumored person that this song is about is everywhere on social media right now (congrats on your engagement). This song grew on me (to have background on me I LOVE slow songs so certain fast songs can take a while to grow on me…this was one of them). This one has a good beat to it.

I think I like the song best starting at the second verse, and the line “Spinning like a girl in a brand new dress” FAVORITE PART. You know this song got me dancing in my bed right now.This is the song when you have a bad day and you just need to let it go - this is that song to go to.

I apologize in advance for the messiness of this all

Song 2 Everything Has Changed:

My heart - It has melted and the song hasn’t even started. I remember when we saw the photos of them working together and I freaked out. Their voices sound so good together. The lines about the walls always stick out and I don’t know why and now it’s also making me think about cold as you. *Bridge starts* *Rolls eyes back* there’s no much to say about this one. It’s just beautiful. Well written, beautiful music, simple, a wonderful feeling. (Which I can not relate to lol I haven’t liked someone in like 4/5 years what) but still amazing

Song 3 - Sad, Beautiful, Tragic:

Wow soo beautiful. FUn fact senior year of high school I auditioned with this song to sing as a solo during our choir concert. I didn’t get a solo, which was fine with me but I was proud I went up and auditioned (I was so sick during this time too so I don’t know how on point my vocals were - they were probs fine but nothing spectacular) afterwards one girl was talking to me about Taylor and it made both of us happy.

Another one of my favs. I feel like this one is underappreciated. I don’t know how to describe any of my favs atm wow I suck at this. I love the feel of the train at the beginning. The feeling of coming and going. 

Distance, timing, break down, fighting… silence - wow. When it was there the lyrics really were a masterpiece on this album. Her voice is so soft on this song. When I think of this song I think of a letter, antique video playing of the amazing times, but also the emptiness in the goodbye. 

Song 4 - IKYWT: 

A BOP. I remember in high school, hating when people would laugh at the goat version. Now I can appreciate it. But I was just like don’t go at my girl. This music video - the talking part - important. One of my favorite lines is “A new notch in your belt is all I’ll ever be.” Also wow thinking about the intro of this 

----- My cat decided to lie on my chest so I'm switching to my phone so I can give him attention. -------

Anyways I was talking about the into of this on the 1989 tour. THe bridge is my fav part to sing 

5th -RED: 

a good song I sometimes forget about. "Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes... when I see it all in my head BURNING RED LOVING HIM WAS RED OH LOSING HIM WAS BLUE LIKE I NEVER KNOWN..." THE BEST PART 

6th - State of Grace: 

an amazing song to start the album with. (Why am I blanking did she open with this during RED - my mind blanks the most on the RED tour). The LYRICS. The build-up. (How do I describe what I see in my head) it's almost like an Ariel shoot?? Surprisingly the second verse is my favorite part of this song - the lyrics. "Mosaic broken hearts". The bringer was still amazing tho. 

7th The Last Time:

 I'm listening to this. I've always liked the last time, it has a good rhythm to it and I always enjoy singing it. But it's very different than her other songs which I've seemed to forget. This song is SOFT but it also has a build to it which if your heart broken you can scream along to this. THIS IS THE LAT TOME IM ASKING YOU THIS. Girl move on he doesn't deserve you. You should always be there if he cares. RIP. That's when you know you're losing someone. I'm realizing right now that this album has the most collabs too I never thought of that before. I think bc I always think of ed first but even so, I feel like her collabs on her albums are different than when other ppl have collabs on their albums. 

Wow, Treacherous came on and for a second I thought it was state of grace again... 😧. This was my og FAV. ALSO, HER OUTFIT EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BEING PERFORMED WAS BEAUTIFUL. Tell me why I'm a sucker for slow songs. But there was something different about this song. It's sooo stripped back. The backing male vocals on this is SO IMPORTANT. A great song to show off her vocal ability. This is like the build-up to IKYWT but it went wrong. (Just realized I listened to the demo instead of the og song 

Girl at home: if I'm being honest this is one of my least favorite. Lyrically I'm like 🙃. Musically it's fine. I think it's just not as deep as I would like. Would group with speak now bonus tracks which aren't my fav either. But it's also something about the word stupid. Idk there are certain words in songs. Then again the moment I knew says birthday and I enjoy that song. Idk. Lesson learned ofc is my fav part. 

9th Come Back…Be Here: 

MY FAVORITE SONG OFF THE ALBUM. I don't know what about this song it's so pretty. This is falling in love in the cruelest way ughhh. I think it's a combo of probs the guy I liked in high school. Harry. The music in general. Her voice. Idk all of it. But it tends to fall behind enchanted when I think of my all time fav tay songs. Idk I just REALLY REALLY RWALLY EEALLY LIKE this song 

The Moment I Knew: 

This song is raw. You get a very clear picture of what may have happened. And you're just sad for Taylor. This is one of those moments when you don't want it to take over you but you feel like everything has shattered. I imagine her spinning around, everything is spinning and everything is crashing because she can't find him. This album really is all over the place. With the styles. The things you forget when you listen to it all together for the first time in a while. I tend to shuffle all of her songs. Or the albums I was listening to during the summer were 1989 and fearless on shuffle. 

11 - The Lucky One:

I need to watch the RED tour footage of this bc I can only partially remember it and I feel like it needs to be appreciated. This has always been a mid-tier song 

Begin Again: 

always one of my fav. Slow, but this one is happy. AlsoCAN WE TALKABOUT THE PURPLE DRESS BECAUSE THAT WAS GORGEOUS. This song is also growth in Taylor like she's able to start moving on and there's this beautiful new hope. Regardless if she dated this guy anymore. 

22: 

aka the song of the year from aug 2017-Sep 2018. Been sending this to everyone on their special day. "Whose Taylor swift anyways" I love her. If you're just looking for a good time - look no further. 

14th- We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: 

probs my least fav music video BUT I LOVE how it was filmed. Weeee---ee the best part. "Like ever" "with some indie record that's much cooler than mine" and ofc the talking part during the bridge all good lines. This was one of those songs. Love it or hate it it's stuck in your head and you low key like it. I like how raspy and deep the end gets. 

All too well: 

I need a moment of silence. And the FULL version of the song. The B asEST song off the album. Beautiful. Grammy performance SPECTACULAR BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HEARTWARMING. AND HER DRESS GORGEOUS. WOWOWOWOWOWW The most autumn song on the album. 

I Almost Do: 

I think when this first came out that I struggle between which I liked more I almost do and all too well. Now it's no question. But again. A. Goood. Song. Just not as complex.,, I like the line never ever occurred to you bc wanegbt. 

Starlight: 

For whatever reason, I always group this song along with stay stay stay and The Lucky One and out of the three this one is my favorite. Good beat. Happy.

Stay Stay Stay:

Not my favorite. I like that it has a country vibe. I feel like similar to girl at home, it’s not as complex as I would like it. With that said we have “self-indulgent takers.” The grocery line always sticks out to me. If I’m in the mood its happy bop. The bridge - again is my favorite part

#red album #taylor swift #I added stay stay stay #I fell asleep while writing starlight - I altered it a bit. #all the grammar and punctuation is out the door #ok now its updated and a bit cleaned up

[daimonic-clown]

Project Starlight

Day one of experimentation

 That is, experimentation after the surprisingly underwhelming first incarnation. Starlight rose tincture was my first endeavor, and it was horrible in most categories. The taste was bland, the effects were lackluster at best, and generally it looked like glowing dye; so it was horribly suspicious off the get-go.

However, it is a good idea. I can sense it. This will be the base of the end result: it may make up the bulk of the resulting liquid, but the effects of it may end up overshadowed by other concoctions.

Let me take a moment to list out basic traits of alchemy that act as the greatest struggles here. Firstly, a mixture of unlike benefits can create disastrous side-effects. Heart attacks, strokes, perhaps even a horrible rush that could foster a psychological reliance. The goal is to act as a support to an inevitable cure.

Secondly: it must curb cravings and sate internal addiction without, at the same time, making a larger threshold in which sating occurs. In other words: addiction works in a sense of a threshold. If you give someone, say, a small amount, then a small amount will continue to sate them. However, if you were to give them a medium amount, then a small amount will no longer do. The same happens to a large amount and the ever so horrible overdose amount. A seasoned addict could potentially skim by on overdose quantities, though it is rare. Some among the shal'dorei are not so horribly bound by the magic of the Nightwell, and so they must be taken into account above all. The concoction, otherwise, would act as a detriment to them. The struggle lay in – what of the seasoned addicts? Those at high or overdose quantities? They will receive few effects from a simple curb strategy to support towards a cure. It is like throwing a wet napkin at a forest fire. Therefore, alternatives must exist in the formula: it must be for everyone.

Third: it must be presentable and taste moderately well. These bastards are used to extravagant taste. I could care less if they were drinking something akin to the taste of a kodo’s ass, but alas, that taste threshold is essential. Otherwise, they will vomit it before it can even have effects. The presentation is equally essential: it may very well be illegal. I sense whatever the cure may be to this plight will come slowly, and therefore  if the chance of my concoction being frowned upon happens, it must look pretty as much as taste nice. The high society sorts must be willing to overlook the nature of it, and find the prohibited possibility of it to be a thrill over burden. The poor will not give a shit, why would they? However taste and presentation is also important to the most disturbing reality: children. It must be candy to them, but not too wonderful so that they indulge.

And finally, the most elusive and difficult to define trait: effectiveness overall. A lesser man would say: ‘it must work throughout or not at all!’ Not me, thankfully. It must work just enough to stop withering and halt cravings of intense design. If it works any better – for example, creates a jolt, or sense of high too enjoyable – then an addiction to my substance becomes a reality. I will then be their maker and unmaker, a power far too great for even me. A profit to make here, yes, but I do not seek to undo a society of people.

The rebellion moves swiftly. I already hear whisperings of assaults inside of the city walls. Deceit, disguises – the heroes of Azeroth are bearing the banner of the Dusk Lily. I must work fast if I hope to capitalize on my opportunity.

Day three of experimentation

Finding willing participants is a goddamn nightmare. I can’t tell them it will work or will not work, furthermore, the rebels cannot know. An outlander experimenting on their citizens? Already they look at me with squinted gazes and distrust in their eyes. I have no footing to prove anything, no evidence. I need participants with active withdrawal, and yet are not on the verge or already driven over the edge of being incapable of salvation.

I have a less than savory source. My loyal informant was too nosy, and I considered having his blasted head for it, but he gave me an opportunity of questionable morality. Some parents are willing to do anything to ensure the safety of their children. I considered offering it to them for free, I had no heart to just up and manipulate – have I weakened in strength? No, it was the look in their eyes. Desperation. Horror. And hate that an outlander could provide conventional methods to sate their addiction, and an unconventional solution to the withering. I presented the opportunity, and logistically, eighty-percent of them accepted. My most armored ship, near the coast of Stormheim and Suramar, will become a temporary refuge. My men have been removed save a fair amount of guards and a camp will be established on the shorelines. The local vrykul and I have an understanding (thanks to Wyrmsbane of all people) and will also keep eyes secured.

Testing begins tomorrow on an alpha variant. A couple of alpha variants, actually. The tincture with varying additives, 'flavors’ if you will. A red colored one will focus on body aches, a blue colored one on mental ability, and a green colored one on cravings specifically. This is in the aftermath of a survey to determine the most prominent effects.

The odd, less common plights were queer: angina, suicidal thoughts, aggressive tendencies, sleep deprivation, and erectile dysfunction. What they expect me to do about the last one, I have no idea: it is my sincere hope the important issues will be covered by one of the flavors.

I will have to test and gauge the length of effectiveness (if any) and gauge their general reaction.

On another note, keep this as a reminder to let the other twenty-percent who denied the opportunity in. I’ll offer them alternative work… I’m getting low on starlight roses and leypetal as it is. Can barely reach the top shelf in this shithole anyways, and they have an additional couple of feet on my height.

Day seven

Bloody farce. The green one caused vomiting, but the subjects reported a brief rush followed by a sudden lessening of desire for magic. Likely either a placebo (the belief that their regurgitation was a sort of 'removal’ of addiction) or the result of disgust realizing their situation.

Red, while reducing the pain in my 'aching’ test group, also caused a most humorous side effect. Their damned limbs turned to metaphoric gelatin. They fell to the ground in a fit of giggles. Alas, they also inquired me to the nearest location of arcwine storage. A damn farce.

Blue, however, was an oddity. The intent of blue was to quell how the mind might be affected during magical addiction. After all, the most important thing that goes during withering is the mind. Some were horribly sleepy, requesting a mat to lay on. They often were asleep in a matter of seconds. When they woke up, to a ninety-five percentile, they simply asked if the testing was over. The five-percent was a request for arcwine. One among them with a horrifying bout of morbid self-harm and intent to end their life had seemed entirely mellowed. She hugged me in a ridiculous display, a bit of weakness to her limbs, and evident trembling in pain. She thanked me, and when I offered arcwine, she, too, asked for a mat to sleep on, instead.

Conclusion: it is important to note, I should not shout 'I’VE DONE IT!’ just yet. Reversal of withering effects is impossible, and with green, as of writing this, after a bit of mouth-washing from their canteens, they too sneakingly asked for arcwine stores. I had told them beforehand to ask me for arcwine if they sought it – no fear, no punishment. And, I did not lie. Theft of it isn’t easy, so rations are given, as generously as I can manage.

Blue is my salvation – their salvation. In all subjects, pain was still a factor. Only red held a reduction in pain, but I cannot simply create a purple. Or can I?

Alcohol is a miraculous thing. It numbs, it alters minds. A common issue with my train of thought here is that the alcohol the shal'dorei have been consuming is far more potent than anything I could produce. With the perfect potency, and right magical additives, I could bypass that golden alchemical rule: the mixing of multiple effects.

At least, I hope.

Day eleven

The purple mixture is near completion, but I have a dire circumstance to look into. He grows restless, and I made the dire mistake of hiding his child here with all the others. The subjects started to question, even going as far as explicitly asking me, Is that his child… what are you doing here, Outlander?

I convinced them of a lie, but I can tell they did not fully buy it. I know his servants are everywhere. I moved his child to one of my others ships along with his wife. I sense that Marcus is getting cold feet, standing about on idle ships waiting for action. I’ll have to send him on operations in the city, scout and rough up a couple of defiant informants.

Xae on the other hand… she is patient. She will have to leave and engage in her personal contracts soon. Good, the subjects are nervous in seeing her. The scars, the face… Light have mercy, what have I seen in her?

The alcohol I’ve discovered, I must thank Deldaroo. It was vile, putrid, and the taste factor is more of an issue than before. But even a waft of the stuff makes me get hazy. I offered it up to the less picky elves, and they were laughing like idiots and socializing with even a scruffy outlander like me. I never thought I had a use for this sort of damned thing, I figured it would rot my guts.

I deem it 'Elven Grog.’ As if by chance, it was purple. A deep violet, rather. The one with the troubled mind watched me as I brewed – I know she was not memorizing the formula, even so, it does not matter.

I should be in high hopes, but…

The sky was cloudy today. I don’t often believe in omens, but anything can happen, right? I mean, the fucking demons invaded in my lifetime.

My hand is trembling. I’ll barely be able to sleep, I know. Xae decided to bunk with me this night before she leaves for good. I highly doubt I’ll see her for a long, long time. She always suspected her own death. Perhaps on the Shores?

Adellyna has not responded to my letters. Neither Cantor.

I must bury my concerns – tomorrow is a big day. Who will receive the first dosage?

Day fourteen

I couldn’t fucking finish it. She’s fucking dead, his wife. The subjects all screamed out for me to send them back to begin serving in the rebellion further, distrusting me horribly in the word getting out of my failure to keep a ship in line. The only silver lining is that his boy made it out alive, by some miracle.

No subject was harmed, nor their children, but of all people – across the fucking land – my ship sank. The fel-twisted elves! Furthermore, who the hell betrayed me? Who sold me out? Who gave out my ship’s location and told the subjects of this? Dammit, I should not have sent Marcus away, he would have weeded the bastards out! The spineless pirate bastards, I will have each of their bloody heads and find the source of this corruption.

I thought it was over. Dammit, I thought I could trust people considering the circumstance: the world is at stake, am I the only one who isn’t losing their fucking mind? No, no, I am, too, in my own way. Get it together, dammit, you can’t let this go, not now.

I could not deny them. How could I have? I must, must finish this concoction – it must be tested. I am so damn close. The rebels want me to send back everyone, I’ve been gifted with an aggressive missive. What I built to gain their trust now becomes another example – yet another of how most see me. A damned scoundrel. The girl with troubling thoughts stayed behind, she said she would test the final result with a waning smile on her face. I will delay her transport. I must be certain. Entirely. She can’t suffer any more.

For her my sake.

Day fifteen

I sent her away with a bubbling purple set of slop. It smelled odd and seemed promising. Alas, I could not test her – I anticipate the effects will linger, will take a bit of time to work, and may very well need multiple dosing. Of which, I managed two more vials that I held onto – if she needs more, we’ll know.

I was given an ultimatem to 'free’ her or be punished. I chose the aforementioned. She told me she would inform me of the effects.

The storms rage so close to the shores of Stormheim. I had not planned on resting anyways. Maybe I overlooked something in the formula.

Day seventeen

No word from her. Marcus needs my aid, for he has had a few run ins. I have a… overwhelming sense of nerves. There is a tremble to my hands – anxiety? I have a little mixture for that, but it dulls my emotions. I speak as if being in this most distressed place, that is a bad thing.

Is it the demons, or the lack of hope in the eyes of even the most devoted loyalist to their tyrannical leader? Pathetic. Surely my allies would lose all motivation to see me slumping my shoulders like a child that’s lost their toy. I’ll drink the mixture and keep my composure, smile and grin, and charm the locals.

Failure will be weighing my lips, though. I must force it.

Wyrmsbane is missing right now. Where is that damn fool? I sent him off because it was the last thing the vrykul requested of me – to see the masterful slayer of storm dragons.

A letter arrived. Another contract. Demonic sympathizers rooted in the Stormwind, and no one can discover the source. It will have to wait, I will make a trip soon.

Rok discovered a lead in the traitor. I gave him freedom to act as he needed.

Dammit, where is she?

Day eighteen

Me and Marcus have met some interesting shal'dorei. Allies, potentially, those that understand the inner-workings of this city. I respect them, but… I cannot trust them. I am not sure I could. Then again, can I truly ever trust anyone?

Maybe that is the mixture talking. Paranoia, even? I am not the subject here – dammit, I am getting side-tracked in these logs far too often. I must stay on point: relevant to the mixture.

They clearly are so casual with their addictions. Noble, perhaps. They are kind, but to a degree I think they think of me as lesser. An effect of the addiction, or their culture? If anything, this is a wonderful motivator to continue.

Damn elves.

Still no word from her.

Day nineteen

Warm day today. What a Winter’s Veil Eve it was. I received my annual gift on time, even when I was loitering in Dalaran. Reading through those logs, it reminds me why I’m doing all this.

All twenty-six of them, alive and well. I still can’t believe it.

Funny thing is, I didn’t feel a thing. Fuck it, to hell with the mixture: I’ll control the tremble without it.

Right, the subject.

No word. She’s M.I.A.

Day twenty

[A large X was drawn over the page, no words behind it even, besides the marker of what day it was]

#wow #rp #oc #writing #yeah its kinda fuckin obscure and ridiculous #dissatisfaction intensifies #Snoop