#I feel like I'll never be whole again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imogenkol · 6 months

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Old Scars and New

word count: 3.3k warnings: blood, injury tending, disaster bisexual werewolf being cringe af tags: bandaging/stitching up wounds prompt

this is a slightly altered/updated version of my most popular piece of writing for this verse and thought I'd share it in my continued journey of rebuilding my relationship with my og works!

“Alright, who’s up first?” Nadya announced once everyone filed into the motel room.

Skye flashed a sly grin at the sight of Nadya putting her glasses on. “Ooh, are we gonna play doctor?”

Jayde rolled her eyes and dumped her bag onto the floor, barely holding back a wince. The scent of her own blood invaded her lungs and she already felt bruises forming, but the aches and pains were far from uncommon occurrences. She dismissed any concern. “I’m fine.”

Nadya ignored their comments and pointed at both of the siblings. “You two. Sit.”

“Are you going to tell me to roll over too?” Skye remarked.

At the same time, Jayde reiterated grumpily “I said I’m fine.”

The human threw them a stern glare. Nadya may appear soft and approachable most of the time – even meek to those who underestimated her – but the wolves quickly discovered that she had a hidden talent for intimidation when she wanted to. Jayde and Skye simultaneously took their seats at the edge of one of the beds without further protest.

Satisfied with their obedience, Nadya turned to Toby. “How are you feeling?”

“Right as rain,” he replied.

She made a spin motion with her hand. “Twirl.” He held up his arms and turned in one slow circle, showing her that he was unscathed. “Nothing’s hurting?”

“Nope.”

She concluded her thorough scan with a pat on his shoulder. “Okay, you’re good.”

Toby gave the sisters a childish smirk like he won a game and said “Ha.” Then sauntered over to a chair.

Well, if the game went to whoever got hurt the least, then Jayde would never win. She almost scoffed at herself because the competitive side of her that came out around Toby hated the fact that she’d lose anything to him. She even made a mental note to be more careful the next time they encountered hunters just so that she could rub her success in his face. Maybe that was his real motive – to try a tactic that would work on a toddler simply to get the reckless blonde to take better care of herself. Jayde wouldn’t put it past him.

Nadya addressed Skye next. “You got hit on the head pretty hard. How are you feeling?”

The young wolf widened her eyes. “I can see new colors now.”

Nadya laughed and fished out a small flashlight from her bag. “How about dizziness or nausea?”

Jayde watched on as Nadya carefully combed her fingers through Skye’s hair in search of any damage hidden in the light blonde waves. Skye kicked her feet like a little kid getting a check-up, but Jayde noted how her crooked smile evened out to something more… genuine.

Skye was rarely ever anything but mischievous, as if life were just one big joke to her. Of course, there were precious few moments when her serious self would shine through, where there were no jokes to be made and she acted fairly mellow, much to her older sister’s relief. Jayde was shocked to see that happen more often when she interacted with Nadya.

“I feel fine,” Skye answered, then flinched when Nadya touched the sore spot on her head. “Ow! But that hurts.”

“Sorry.” Nadya winced apologetically. “I don’t see any blood, at least.”

The tip of her finger tapped under Skye’s chin to get her to look up. It was then that Jayde noticed she had been chewing on the inside of her cheek. Skye went still as Nadya shined the light in her eyes. It felt like an eternity to Jayde. To see Nadya be so close to her sister, touching her in ways that Jayde longed for. The older wolf realized – with a hot flush to her cheeks – that she was jealous of Skye. That made her bite her cheek even harder as she forced herself to look down.

Nadya stepped away, allowing Jayde to finally breathe normally again. “You don’t have a concussion, but I suggest you ice that for tonight.”

“Sounds good, doc,” she replied with a wink.

Just when Jayde thought she might get over the momentary lapse in her emotions, Nadya blushed. It was subtle enough that she might have been able to convince herself that she imagined it, but her thoughts took what she saw regardless of rationality and ran.

The possibility had never occurred to her until that moment, but Jayde started to wonder if maybe Skye had feelings for the human, too. Jayde certainly couldn’t blame her if she did. It was Nadya, after all. This girl practically had Jayde wrapped around her finger the first day they met. The thing that ate at Jayde more than that were Nadya’s reactions to Skye. She wouldn’t have that hard of a time believing she also felt something for her. Her sister – in all of her annoying glory – was just as much of a catch.

The concept felt nearly unbearable to consider, but Jayde knew that she would never stand in the way of her sister’s happiness or Nadya’s. Especially if it meant Nadya would get to be with someone far more worthy of her affections. Deep down, Jayde has been looking for a good, rock solid excuse to let her go. This possible outcome might be the easiest to accept. That didn’t mean it wasn’t exceptionally painful.

Wallowing in a pit of her own creation caused Jayde to tune the rest of the world out until Nadya’s voice brought her back down to earth.

“Crap, I grabbed the wrong kit,” she grumbled as she sifted through her bag.

Skye gasped dramatically. “Language.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Nadya said with an amused scoff and backed up towards the door. “I’m gonna go back to the car. I’ll pick up some ice for your head on the way back, too.”

“Toby,” Jayde commanded with a purposeful glance. Despite being clear of immediate danger, she didn’t want anyone going anywhere by themselves. Not even to the parking lot.

He nodded in understanding and got up. “Yeah, I’ll go with her.”

Before they left, Nadya locked eyes with Jayde. For that single second, all of her worries were utterly nonexistent. “We’ll be back in a few minutes. Try not to get into any more trouble.”

“No promises,” Skye replied. Jayde looked to see that the devious smirk had returned to her face.

The siblings remained seated on the musty motel bed once Toby and Nadya disappeared. The comforter felt scratchy, but Jayde still balled her fists into the fabric and stared at the worn carpet underneath her blood splattered boots. Something metallic tickled the edge of her tongue and she sighed at the sting that shortly followed, releasing her flesh from her own vengeful teeth.

“So, what crawled up your ass?” Skye asked to break the awkward silence.

Jayde gave her a brief side-glance. “Nothing.”

“Right.” Her words already dripped with sarcasm. “You’re just acting like you have to take Old Yeller out back for no reason.”

Jayde felt a brief spark boil in her chest, but it died out as quickly as it came. She didn’t have the will to be angry or defensive. She only sighed again and forced her question out. “Do you like her?”

There was no hesitation in Skye’s answer. “Yeah, of course I like her.”

“No, I mean… Do you like her?"

Confusion twisted the younger wolf’s features as she blinked at Jayde for several moments. Jayde wordlessly begged not to make her spell it out. The question alone was already mortifying enough. As soon as her meaning fully sank in, Skye’s expression promptly turned incredulous.

“Forget it,” Jayde said curtly.

But Skye already jumped on it. “No, you know what? I do like her. I really, really like her. Yeah, I want her to have my babies.”

Jayde had to fight the urge to growl. “It was a genuine question, Skye.”

“And you’re a genuine idiot,” she fired back with no remorse. “I don’t want your girlfriend, Jayde.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She could be.”

“She shouldn’t.”

Skye raised an eyebrow. “That’s not very progressive of you. You’re sounding like Miranda with that old world bullshit. Who cares if Nadya is a human? Just be careful not to break or bite her. That simple.”

Jayde shook her head. “It’s not that…”

The slow nod she saw out of the corner of her eye turned into a shrug as Skye leaned into her. “What if you’re wrong about yourself?” she whispered like a kid telling a secret.

They fell back into another prolonged silence as Jayde rocked back and forth anxiously. She wasn’t wrong about herself, but Jayde somehow still had the smallest bit of hope that she could become someone Nadya deserves. That if she tried to be better, she wouldn’t fight this so hard or put herself through all of this pain. She had it in her. Somewhere. Buried underneath dirt and dust. The best version would peek through the cracks of everything broken about her whenever that girl was near. Jayde just had to figure out a way to widen the fractures and reach through.

But she worried she would break herself even more by doing that.

After a minute, her lungs deflated once more in utter hopelessness. “I am an idiot.”

Familiar footsteps approached the room and Skye nudged her older sister with her elbow. “Chin up, sport.”

Jayde managed to give her a grateful look just as the others returned. Nadya held a small bag of ice in one hand and a different first aid kit in the other. She went to Skye first and handed her the ice for her head.

Guilt immediately flooded Jayde’s system for feeling so jealous. Nadya put in so much effort to take care of them all and Jayde had been worried that she wanted her sister over her. She needed to get over herself.

“Okay, you’re good to go. Just take it easy,” Nadya ordered.

Skye enthusiastically jumped to her feet while balancing the ice pack on top of her head. “Great, I’m gonna go get tacos across the street.”

“Don’t go alone,” Jayde called as she skipped towards the door.

She waved dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, buddy system.”

“You guys want anything?” Toby asked before he trailed after her.

“Just get me whatever you get,” Jayde said.

“Okay. Nadya?”

Nadya sounded slightly distracted as she prepared the kit. “Uh, what kinds are there?”

“Asada, pollo, carnitas.” When she took too long to ponder the options, he translated in a patronizing tone “Beef, chicken, pork.”

She looked up and fixed him with an exasperated stare. “I know what they mean, I was just thinking.”

Toby chuckled. “Any day now.”

“Get me chicken.”

He gave a casual thumbs up. “You got it.”

The motel room grew quiet again once it became only the two young women. The wolf took time to let the human’s presence calm the restless being within. She focused on how her air of crisp autumn spices encompassed her senses, even over the scents of the others. What fascinated Jayde was how her existence always broke through the most powerful things. Werewolves had an incredibly distinct and potent scent, so being around her pack should have masked the humanness of Nadya’s scent. But it didn’t. In fact, Jayde often sensed her before she sensed anything or anyone else. It was always her first.

“Your turn?” Nadya suggested softly, immediately drawing Jayde’s full attention.

Up to that point, she had completely forgotten about her injuries. “Oh, right.”

Nadya came directly to her, standing just inches away. Jayde stared up at her and waited, totally transfixed. “Let’s get a look at that arm.”

Jayde realized she needed to remove her jacket. She snapped herself out of her trance and carefully slipped out of it, grimacing as the fabric tugged at the graze on her bicep. Blood had mostly soaked into the jacket itself, but streaks of crimson still smeared across her skin and reached as low as her wrist.

Nadya bent down and adjusted her glasses to get a better look, but that furrow in her brow looked like it took too much effort. “Do you think we could move to the bathroom? The lighting sucks out here and I gotta get you cleaned up.”

“Yeah.”

Nadya followed closely behind as they entered the bathroom, but lingered over Jayde’s shoulder after turning the light on. “Hey, did you take a hit to the back?”

Jayde craned her neck to see why she looked so concerned, but couldn’t see much of anything. The strain of twisting only made her injured shoulder spike with pain. “Um, I’m not sure. Maybe? I remember getting punched or something.”

“There’s blood, Jay,” Nadya informed her, still inspecting the wound. “Take this off.”

Jayde felt her entire body flare with intense heat as Nadya tugged at her shirt. She hesitated for a few beats to let the embarrassment pass. It wasn’t like Nadya hadn't seen her without a shirt on before. Hell, she’s seen her naked. She’s seen her turn into a goddamn werewolf, for fuck’s sake. Jayde wanted to curse at herself for being so stupid.

She struggled to get out of the shirt on her own. It was enough that her shoulder felt as sore as it did, but now that she had been made aware of it, the wound on Jayde’s back stung like a bitch. As much as she wanted to hide her pain, she wasn’t able to stop herself from flinching when she tried to work one of her arms out of the ruined clothing.

“Here, let me –” Nadya reached to help, but then her pulse spiked in the wolf’s ears like a drum had been struck and she stopped short. “Can I..?”

“Sure, yeah,” Jayde stammered and braced herself as the human stepped into her space.

Nadya’s hands carefully gripped the bottom of the bloodied shirt and slowly pushed it up her torso. Jayde could tell that she tried not to, but there were still a couple of times where her fingers brushed up against bare skin. Jayde clenched her jaw tightly. Just those small, brief touches caused intense tingling to spread outwards from the places of contact. She shut her eyes and held her breath as her wolf fought to rise to the surface. A shiver raced along Jayde’s spine as she quickly dampened it. After a tense half-second, she felt the restless animal reluctantly retreat.

Despite nearly losing control, Jayde didn’t feel afraid. Maybe because she knew Nadya wasn’t in any danger. The wolf only wanted a glimpse of her, but the last thing Jayde wanted was to cause any potential fear. She certainly didn’t want to think up some shitty excuse to explain why her eyes started to glow.

The two of them successfully got the shirt over Jayde’s head with minimal pain and discarded it on the floor. Meeting Nadya’s gaze after that felt far braver than facing any hunter. She had this look in her warm brown eyes that Jayde couldn’t quite decipher. However, the physical effect in Nadya’s body was more obvious. Being so close, Jayde sensed it all.

An erratic heartbeat. A clipped breath caught in her throat. A blooming scent that tempted Jayde nearer.

Those were not things she noticed in Nadya with anyone else, Jayde realized.

“I’m going to, uh…” Nadya motioned awkwardly, finally just shuffling behind her again.

Jayde cleared her throat to banish her own nerves and brushed her tangled hair over her shoulder. “How’s it looking back there?”

“This is pretty deep,” she murmured and began to clean it. “You really didn’t feel this?”

Jayde tensed at the incredibly cold sensation of a disinfectant wipe against her hot skin, but she still gave a half shrug. “I remember being hit, but that’s all.”

“Well, you got lucky. It could have punctured your lung.”

Jayde set her hands on the edge of the sink and watched Nadya’s reflection carefully through the mirror. “Yeah, I feel lucky.”

“That better not be sarcasm. Not when I’m looking at all these scars.” Nadya scolded as she got the stitches ready. “It looks like you should be dead ten times over.”

“It’s because I should be.”

They briefly shared a look. Nadya’s expression remained unreadable. Not that Jayde had the time to properly study it before she went back to work.

She didn’t say anything while she made a few sutures — being too focused on her task of mending a werewolf — but then Jayde saw her brown eyes peek over her shoulder again. “I’m really glad you aren’t, by the way.”

Jayde exhaled an almost whispered response. “Me too.”

A bandage was carefully placed over the newly stitched wound, but Nadya lingered behind her. Jayde wondered if maybe she had spotted another wound that hadn’t quite traveled through her nerves and up to her brain yet, but then felt an incredibly delicate sensation tickle her lower back. It took a moment for her to realize that it was the tip of Nadya’s finger trailing over what had to be one of her scars. Jayde froze in place, not having a single clue how to react.

“How many are there?” Nadya’s voice sounded distant.

Jayde gripped the edges of the sink so that she wouldn’t fall over as the girl traced another sensitive mark. She was afraid that the slightest movement would cause her to stop. “I’ve never counted.”

A soft hum echoed in the bathroom. “I guess you’ve got a couple more now. Which reminds me…” Nadya pulled her hand away, but before disappointment twisted an invisible knife in the werewolf’s chest, her palm rested on her hip and turned her around.

The human’s sudden willingness to touch her in ways that could be considered intimate left Jayde’s mind in a utter stupor, stirring her inner self once more. She didn’t know what to make of it. Or what to do. She knew what she wanted to do, though that remained a line Jayde felt she shouldn’t cross.

Nadya went to work on the laceration that cut through her upper arm and Jayde found herself thoroughly fascinated with the process. The human’s eyes were so focused, making sure each and every stitch was up to her standard. The way her brows knitted in concentration — the thin frame of her glasses resting on the bridge of her nose — replaced Jayde’s heart with a pair of fluttering wings. She could stare at her for hours.

Nadya finally glanced up while she wrapped her arm. This time, her blush was entirely noticeable. “What?”

The question made Jayde realize she had been smiling. She quickly looked away, though she couldn’t fully wipe the expression from her face. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” Nadya said slowly, confused amusement written on her face. “Well, I’m all done.”

Jayde nodded as she cleaned the mess up. As soon as the kit was packed, Nadya gave the wolf an unsure look and turned to leave the bathroom. On impulse, Jayde caught her wrist to stop her. A small gasp escaped Nadya’s lips at the unexpected touch, but she still waited expectantly.

“Thank you.” Jayde caressed the smooth curve of her wrist with her thumb. For the first time, she didn’t try to hide it. She wanted Nadya to feel her gratitude. “For taking care of us.”

Nadya’s features softened into an absolutely stunning smile. “I like taking care of you.”

It took everything Jayde had not to pull her in. She yearned to feel Nadya against her. Longed to brush their lips together. To hold her close and swallow every breath. Feel all the ways she could get her heart to race. Instead, Jayde’s fingers went slack and Nadya slipped out of her grasp, leaving her alone in the bathroom with the ghost of her contact still prickling across the surface of her skin.

tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @marivenah @simonxriley @shegetsburned @voidika @kyber-infinitygems @statichvm @inafieldofdaisies @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @jillvalentinesday @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch

#oc insp: jayde thatcher #oc insp: nadya bishop #oc insp: toby cortez #oc insp: skye thatcher #ship insp: woven and thatched #insp: the lodge #oh look the gang's all here #this is the whole pack btw #well... the whole pack up to a certain Event and then a couple more join the picture #i love how i sift through my older writing being like 'ugh god this is unreadable garbage' and it's never as bad as i expect it to be #but the perfectionist in me feels a lot better when i fix certain parts that bugged me #i mean nothing will ever be perfect in my eyes but i sure do like feeling proud of my work #and i feel like i've really improved since then #anyway jayde is cringefail at the beginning and slightly less as the story goes on because self awareness only gets you so far #I actually got a commission of this scene that is like INCREDIBLE #the artist wanted to animate it and I was like FUCK YEAH #anyway maybe I'll whip it back out again now that I've posted this if ya'll wanna see

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keeps-ache · 28 days

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HEY

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #oc #pink space #i really like the subtract glitch i've been doing recently - so here's some of that again lol :3 #the way it interacts with their palettes is so fun i like it a lot ehegh :33 #//anyway do you ever consider just tossing out any part the human body you've learned to draw and just drawing dumb little guys with arms #like pipecleaners forever or what hfhs #//oh this is was doobled in traditional originally #i need to digitize more of these. Because #though aura's hair was more extreme in the second panel in that version - i'm tired though and 3 days ago it was the same so no feelings to #change that lol :)#also i didn't shrink the noise enough so it didn't look right - and i was not going to reimport it so Bon Voyage my dude hfhs #was Supposed to fit on a 900x900 canvas but i made the panels a liiiiitle bit too big so it's 950x950 #which is Fine it's a round number but it's not a Round-Round number so [gesturing]#1000x1000 was way too big for this little thing so she sits at a pleasant halfway point :>#//anyway i was also up til 3 a.m. last night doing ?? something ?? i genuinely don't even know what lmfhsbvh #nice though maybe my brain'll get a reset lol :3 #stay up really late some random nights and jumpstart your brain!! it's foolproof!! never fails!! [<- these statements have not been reviewe #by the FDA or the Center for Sleep Control]#//ANywho now i'm going to be on my way #/oh i also forgot to post the oath n aura refs i made for artfight lol-#i'll prolly put those up w/ the kira and hid ones though :>>#i like to have the whole ensemble :D i Do feel bad when one of them gets left out hghsfh - like forgetting a stuffed animal somewhere #even though they're all together for small portion of the story it still feels off lol #i should prolly introduce the rest of the cast at some point. .... ......... ..........hm yea prolly. maybe one day hfhs #//anyway NOW i'm going i've run out of tag space i think hfhs - toodles !! :>

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ask-the-bone-boys · 1 month

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[[ok gang i am genuinely so sorry to be doing this literally RIGHT before the end of the event but i've got a whole buncha stuff lining up irl that i am starting to reeeaaally need to address/prioritize and there are a couple things that i still want to do for the "finale" here that i haven't had the time to set up, so all of this is to say iiii need to take at least a day or two to Slow Down And Chill for a bit

I haven't entirely decided if this means I'll take a full break like i have been for the weekends or if I'll just post a little less than I have been, it depends on how I end up feeling really. I will absolutely try my best to make up for the days I've missed tho! I have something pretty cool planned that I think has the potential to be pretty fun, just like i said I gotta set things in place first haha]]

#ooc #i was gonna work on a whole buncha things today but i. UGH. ended up hanging with my roommates instead 🙄#and ive actually been uh. yeah maybe a little Unwise with all this & working on it real late into the night and i am feeling it Catch Up #i'm really really hopeful that the stuff i need to set up shouldn't take more than like a day or two #and then maybe i'll still post a lil extra just to make up for it lol #but with about a million final projects (if i never have to write another fucking essay again i will ascend to the heavens) coming up-#- i am being forced to think maybe i will prioritize sleep a bit. for like a day at least #again i am sooo sorry and tbh im apologizing more to myself than anybody else so dont actually worry. but AUGH WE;RE SO CLOSE COME ONNNN #ahem. yeah you get it lmao ty for being such a cool audience so far <333333 i will return SOON!!!!!!!!!!

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daddyplasmius · 8 months

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hand on my stupid heart flashbacks

this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsーwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ーcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortーPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)

When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldn’t breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.

He almost went back.

Almost.

He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.

He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.

Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting… strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.

Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneーmom and dad called it that, he rememberedーfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orー

The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.

While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos™ off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didn’t stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the “what happened to you?” and the “where have you been?” and the “we’ve missed you”.

Dad scrambled to shoot at him.

Danny fled.

His parents didn’t recognize him.

The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.

He’d waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldn’t get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeーor existence. Whatever.

The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, “Who changed the menu?”

Everyone pointed at Sam.

Danny hadn’t known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.

This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.

The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadn’t been in the crossfire.

Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerーboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightーall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.

Surely they would know him on sight.

“Wh-what are you?” Sam gasped at him finally.

Danny flinched as if she had struck him. “J-just… your friendly neighbourhood phantom.”

Danny didn’t know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.

He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldn’t help himself. What on Earth were they doing?

They were going to Vlad Master’s mansion for their college reunion.

It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80’s.

Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldn’t see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladーthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ーtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.

VladーPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manーghostーwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingーpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vlad’s obsession was overwhelming.

Danny couldn’t believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.

#danny phantom #danny phantom au #danny phantom fanfiction #you know that gif of the wailing emoji dissolving? :Why:?#yeah that's what i do every time i remember i never finished HOMSH while i still had the style in my brain #feel free to steal this idea. please steal this idea. please write it i wanna see this idea so bad but im already writing another 100k+ fic #if y'all want me to post the full fic i can but. it is not finished & most likely never will be. sorry again #i won't lie. the haze i was in was a depressed one. i was. not in a good place At All when i wrote HOMSH #like the only part i remember actually writing was the panic attack scene & that's just barely #i reread the whole fic in the middle of the night months later while listening to Implode Alright by Built by Snow on repeat #yeah i cried. this one is funny but mostly it's just. mourning. grief. the works. it's a vent fic & also a. kind of. wishful fic #like. don't you just wish death wasn't so permanent. don't you wish you could tell them everything you wish you could #don't you wish you could just see them again #i'm actually writing this into a bigger ventier series currently called Let Grief Do Its Work #cuz i rewatched LUCIDS again recently & remembered what HOMSH was originally about. why i was writing it #i'm not calling it HOMSH cuz. HOMSHie is my baby. it's its own thing & i don't wanna ruin the vibes #reluctantly admitting i call an unfinished fanfic i don't remember writing... HOMSHie baby... in my head #yeah i have a cute nickname for my fic. what of it #it's 5am & i think i'll throw up if i think any more about posting unfinished unedited pieces of a fic so i'm going for it. cowabunga #go into the world. get your 2 notes you beautiful animal #*passes out*

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sysig · 2 months

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That’s not- y’know what, that’s probably an easier explanation actually (Patreon)

#Doodles #DQIX #Kuzu #Lol #For the record Kuzu is a cis guy - those are his wing scars haha #Been way too long since I've drawn them!! Needed to again #Now that I think of it tho hmm I wonder if they would be more vertical than horizontal....I'll have to do another anatomy study haha oh nooo #Mostly I just thought it'd be funny for certain individuals in his human team to not know about the whole Celestrian thing and Shenanigans #Kuzu's not shy about his body and since the scars are on his back he generally doesn't think about them #Past y'know - missing his wings :(#They're hard to touch and hard to see so he's able to forget about them for stretches at a time! For better and worse #Sometimes he doesn't notice them because he's too busy - sometimes because he's doing well #And sometimes it's almost like an avoidant thought because the reality of it is still painful poor lad #His priest buddy probably knows - she was probably the one who told him not to just Announce that he's an angel to everyone lol #Social mores? :D What are those? Some kind of fish? :D #But that leaves a bit of gap in the rest of the team's understanding of their leader's condition! Why does Kuzu act so weird sometimes?#I mean other than the fact that he's Kuzu lol there was a little bit of that up in the Observatory as well haha #Anyhow this teammate specifically! He's from Gleeba and his husband crossdresses so he's fairly familiar with the concept #Not the same but enough carryover to have picked up an understanding or two!#I feel like there's a lot of queerness in Gleeba to be picked through - the lesbian queen being the obvious watermark there lol #I've never actually played a male character in Gleeba so that will be an interesting first-time-through for me with Kuzu :D #Always getting up to something! Can't stop! Haha

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not-poignant · 1 year

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Woof, that Constellations reveal!! How come Gwyn knows which psychologist Ef saw at Hillview but not what happened with Henton?

Oooo this is an awesome question.

So there's a few layers to this, thank you for enabling my rambling, this won't be a short answer.

The main reason is simply that Efnisien didn't want him to know. And given that Efnisien's privacy had been violated unconscionably repeatedly at Hillview, Dr Gary wasn't in a rush to tell Gwyn ap Nudd, especially because (in this particular world I'm writing lol) he had no legal obligation to. Efnisien was a legal adult at the time the recorded assaults took place, and his choices actually matter.

Like, it wasn't like Gwyn was getting regular progress reports or anything once Efnisien was in Hillview, and he certainly got a lot less as soon as Efnisien became a legal adult. Gwyn was notified of some bare bones stuff in the hospital because Efnisien's life was in danger and frankly doctors and psychologists tend to be a bit more open while someone's life is in danger in a hospital (and Efnisien wasn't formally enrolled at Hillview yet or living there).

But after that, most of what Gwyn knew about Hillview he learned directly from Efnisien. Efnisien would have told him that he was seeing Dr Henton while he was still verbal / talking.

Once the sexual abuse and assault started, Efnisien went fully nonverbal for some months afterwards. Not just with Dr Gary, but also with Gwyn. All Gwyn knows is that, all of a sudden, Efnisien has gone nonverbal and changed psychologists.

Gwyn assumed this was because Efnisien relapsed and started hurting other people, and his attitude actually changed around Efnisien after that, and Efnisien never corrected him because he never saw the point.

Not only that, but it's in Efnisien's records that Gwyn has been abusive to Efnisien. They allow his visitations, but Efnisien has also disclosed that Gwyn has broken bones in his face, beaten him, and been violent towards him, and while Efnisien didn't know this was being written in his general file - the staff certainly knew of Gwyn in context of 'actual abuser visiting Efnisien on occasion.'

So they don't exactly have incentive to say 'heyyyyy...abuser of Efnisien that we allow him to see because his mental health dives without you, we're just going to share that he was abused by another guy in case you want to like...abuse him over that too.' It's not like Gwyn is 'just a concerned cousin' - he's not an immediate family member, he's a point of contact, but he's a point of contact with caveats, like 'we know Efnisien has stated clearly he needs to see Gwyn, but we don't like him' caveats. They're not going to rush to give Gwyn tools to harm Efnisien.

And he would have.

And Efnisien knew he would have.

This is really vital. All along, Efnisien has always assumed Gwyn would say 'well that's what you deserve' re: Henton's actions (or 'now you know what it's like I guess') and we know Gwyn would have said something like that, based on how he reacts to Efnisien being harmed during Falling Falling Stars.

Like, Gwyn's attitude changes over time, but Efnisien and the staff are right to think that Gwyn would hurt Efnisien with the knowledge that he'd been abused by staff at Hillview.

So yeah, and also like... Dr Gary tried to get Efnisien to press charges, he even brought lawyers in, and Efnisien just...didn't talk. Refused to talk to anyone. While he couldn't verbally consent to literally anything, they erred on the side of caution. Probably the only thing he insisted on was staying at Hillview, because he knew Gwyn would only keep seeing him if he went to Hillview.

And that is why Efnisien stayed at Hillview, after Henton assaulted him. :(

Because Gwyn blackmailed him into staying there.

Idk if Gwyn would ever find that out, because it'll break his heart in Constellations if he realises. But like, Efnisien didn't want to go stay at a place where he was regularly abused and assaulted, but he did, because he was so desperate to keep the one lifeline he had.

Anyway yeah, there's a few reasons basically why Gwyn knew the name of the psychologist only, and then nothing else!

And a lot of it was purely that Efnisien never wanted him to know, and the folks around him respected that.

#asks and answers #gwyn ap nudd #efnisien ap wledig #falling falling stars #rambling about stuff #so much rambling so much stuff #i have a lot of feelings about gwyn pulling the whole #'if you go to hillview i'll keep seeing you'#(because i know you're in love with me)#'and if you don't i'll never see you again'#'and you have to *try*'#i like to imagine efnisien frantically shaking his head #when dr gary suggests compassionately and with great sympathy #that he can transfer efnisien to any centre at all #so he never has to see the place at all #and it makes me sad

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