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#I don't know if this will be relevant to any of you but just in case
nohoperadio · 3 days
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That cool bee book I was talking about a while ago mostly refrains from philosophical digressions (which I think is a strength, I appreciated how the author had total confidence that just clearly presenting the facts about his subject would be enough to make a fascinating book without the need for any "...and here's why that should blow your mind" editorializing, and he's totally right), but there was one towards the end I've found myself thinking about a lot, which is: he wants people to stop using "self-consciousness" (i.e. the concept exemplified by the mirror test but used implicitly or explicitly in tons of other contexts) as a criterion for which animals can be considered sentient/morally relevant/having significant inner lives/however you want to describe it. Not, as you might expect, because he thinks it's an unreasonably high bar to meet, but because it's such a low bar that it produces no distinctions: he argues that basically any animal with any kind of developed central nervous system has to have some kind of self-consciousness almost by definition.
The example I remember best is: imagine you can see an object in your visual field getting closer to you. No matter the specifics, it's obviously always going to make a huge difference to how you evaluate this situation whether the cause of the object getting closer is a] the object is moving towards you, or b] you are moving towards the object. If a, then something might be pursuing you or falling on you or a thousand other things that are just not even worth considering in the case of b. But visually the two cases are indistinguishable; if you're going to be able to track the difference, your brain has to be putting at least some work into keeping tabs on what your own intentions are and what choices you're making as you move through the world, predicting the expected consequences of those choices, and maintaining a fairly tidy mental separation between stuff in the world that you're making happen and stuff in the world that's just happening of its own volition. Otherwise, every time you walk towards a rock you'll freak out and think the rock is rolling into you, or vice versa.
And it's not hard to see how this applies to your entire sensory world right, it applies to sounds and tactile sensations and even feelings internal to your body to some extent, if you're going to both perceive the world and take actions in the world then it's mandatory to mentally separate yourself and the world before that's going to yield even an ounce of helpful information, you just can't function successfully on the most basic level if you're processing stuff that you're doing on the same level as stuff that's happening, if you're in that state then you simply don't have a usable model of the world at all, you just have chaos.
So you can very easily eliminate a certain seductive narrative about the evolution of consciousness, which starts with very primitive animals who are mentally processing nothing but basic sensory inputs, then as you rise up the chain more complex animals are forming concepts of objects and building up a more nuanced understanding of the world, until finally you approach humans and the mind becomes so subtle and sophisticated that it gains access to this special advanced meta-level of thought where it can even understand itself! No, the self is precisely the one idea that has to be in place from the very beginning, before any of it has even the most rudimentary practical value. Self-consciousness isn't the pinnacle of the mind's evolution, it's one of the lowest, most basic foundations that everything else builds off of.
I think this is really cool stuff! I don't know enough about the relevant academic philosophy of mind debates to say how far all this does or doesn't speak to that, maybe someone will tell me the "self-consciousness" concept being attacked here is a strawman somehow, I don't know. But it's definitely impacted the way I (just a dumb guy who likes creatures) think about our small small cousins and what their lives might be like and I think it's super interesting. If you think it's interesting too then maybe you wanna buy The Mind of a Bee by Lars Chittka and read it. It's mostly not about this stuff, as I say it's light on philosophy and heavy on bee-life immersion, but if you actually read this whole post then you're probably in the market for that I feel like.
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WIBTA for agreeing that my friend may need to work on their confidence for the sake of keeping a job?
(🕴️👔📚 <--- just so I can find this)
Genders are irrelevant, I'm 19 and my friend "Sam" is 20. Idk if this may be relevant but for for a bit of context we finished school in the same year as each other after our A Levels (so at 17 and 18 respectively), and neither of us are/have plans to go to uni/college.
After school, I had managed to get a part time job that was fixed term up until the end of that Christmas period, and about a month or two afterwards I'd been lucky enough to land a full time job (though I've since left that and moved to my current job). During this time, one of Sam's family members had some health issues come up so they put off any job searching to be a carer for this family member and signed up to claim a carer's allowance so they could still be getting some income. After a little while, the family member's health began to improve and Sam said they were going to be looking for jobs again, though they were still a carer for the family member, and so I started offering help with things like sorting their CV/interview prep/etc, and Sam had then gotten a job similar to my first one, part time retail, though their job had been listed as a permanent position while mine had been fixed term.
However, after a couple of months (I think it was two or three months off the top of my head) Sam came to me and said that their workplace had let them go, citing that they lacked the confidence for the job. Okay, no massive biggie, Sam took it in their stride and still had the caring for their family member to fall back on while they looked for other work, so we'd each silently chalked it up to teething problems (hell, I know I had issues with my confidence when I started any of my jobs). They did get another job not too long after that, this time as a carer in a nursing home, great! Whenever we caught up on how things were going, Sam always said they enjoyed it but did occasionally mention that their line manager had commented that they seemed to need to build their confidence a bit in their role. Again, could easily have been teething problems, so I had offered a few tips that I'd picked up on from my experiences to help build their confidence.
As of writing this, Sam texted me yesterday saying that they'd been let go from this job/hadn't passed the probationary period because their confidence was still lacking in their role (may be worth noting for a bit of context here that when I then asked about it, Sam said to me that they hadn't had any 'actual' feedback about this being an issue, not sure if it's exactly relevant as that might be a separate issue though).
Given that this is the second job that Sam has lost due to not having enough confidence, I want to say something to them about working on their confidence in work, even if they go down the "fake it till you make it" route just to help them out with securing a job in future, and I don't want them to have to be stuck with references from their now-previous employers that boil down to "we had to fire them because they were unconfident" which could potentially cause quite a few issues for them when applying for new jobs.
I haven't said anything yet, as I don't want to overstep anything with Sam and come across as a pretentious ass because I just want to be able to help my friend out but I don't know if I'd be the asshole for agreeing/pointing out that they'll need to work on their confidence for the sake of future jobs, so any feedback would be much appreciated!
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valictini · 11 hours
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I don't think people truly realise how Qstudio's response to the revelations has been and still is extremely unprofessional. Ghosting people you exploited for a year because you're what, scared of leaks? Is unacceptable behaviour.
(Angry rant below)
Like, to be clear, it is obvious to me that they haven't recruited any Human Ressources yet because this shit wouldn't fly in a normal workplace.
You have a lot of exploited ex employees left on read, asking for a private DISCUSSION for 2 months now.
All the somewhat relevant announcements were made thru public streams, in a language they know not all their ex employees understand.
They relied on volunteer labor (the fans') to translate their official annoucement instead of, you know, doing it themselves (and not just in english but all the language they prided themselves to have included in the project)
And even then, the announcements are so vague and unhelpful that we might as well not have them.
Let's be real. They don't consider these ex employees as such. They consider them formerly privileged fans that are now ruining it for everyone. People they think are a pain in the ass and would rather not deal with for now. At least, that's the message their behaviour is sending.
This is an extreme caricature of bad management, except it's in real life.
Their only saving grace is that Quackity, his friends, and the project are beloved by fans. If it were any other company, i can guarantee you that there would be zero support because they objectively don't deserve it after this much shit.
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I'm trying to improve my writing and feel confused and worry over my punctation. Especially when it comes to dialogue tags and the use of semi-colons. They've always confused me. Is it alright to use a simile after a diagloue tag? So for example: "Of course I like ice-cream," he replies, like the answer was obvious.
Worried About Punctuation
Don't stress too much about punctuation. The whole reason we edit, polish, and have proof readers and editors is because being a writer doesn't necessarily mean you have a flawless grasp on punctuation.
Things you can do to improve your punctuation as you write:
-- use built-in punctuation checker in your writing program -- stop and Google the rule you're not sure about -- highlight/note the rule you're not sure about and check later -- ask someone who might know
Things you can do to improve your punctuation after writing:
-- Google things you're not sure about as you self-edit -- Use Strunk & White's or other punctuation book for help -- Use program like Grammarly or Pro-Writing Aid to edit -- Ask an eagle-eyed/educated friend to proofread for you -- Hire a proofreader or editor
Things you can do to learn better punctuation:
-- Google rules you're not sure about and fix yourself -- Read a punctuation guide like the one at Grammarly -- Purchase a punctuation book or workbook -- Watch punctuation explanation videos on YouTube
One last thing... just so you know, "like the answer was obvious" is not a simile. A simile is not any sentence containing "like" but rather a sentence comparing two seemingly unalike things using the words "like" or "as."
In the sentence "like the answer was obvious," nothing is being compared to something else. Rather, the sentence is saying "as though the answer was obvious."
Examples of a simile:
-- Her cheeks were like red tomatoes. -- His gaze was cold as ice. -- He was like a king peering out at his waiting subjects. -- The tension was thick as Aunt Betty's day-old brownies.
Having said that, yes, you can absolutely follow a dialogue tag with a simile:
-- "Of course I like ice-cream," he replies, his gaze cold as the scoop of mint chocolate chip on his cone.
And, you can also follow a dialogue tag with anything relevant to the dialogue:
-- "Of course I like ice-cream," he replies, like the answer was obvious.
I hope that helps!
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sage-nebula · 3 days
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Watcher Update Debrief
I am several days late on posting my full thoughts on Watcher's update regarding their streamer, because each day when I come home from work I feel too tired to do so (and I can't post while I'm at work because my work computer prohibits access to tumblr due to it being a "video streaming website" -- yes, you may laugh). Truth be told, I'm still too tired to do so, but each day that goes by this gets less and less relevant, and after posting so much about the situation over the weekend I don't want to just not post anything about the update video, because I feel I have to give some closure on this. So without further ado, here is that closure. This is going to be pretty long as well (hence not wanting to post it on my cell phone at work), so once again I'm going to put this under a cut to spare everyone's dashboards.
First, I want to address the actions they've announced they're taking regarding the backlash they've received in regards to the streamer, setting aside the actual content of the video itself. (Because there is a lot to dissect in the video itself, both in what they say and how they present what they say, and I want to give full attention to that.)
When Watcher announced the streamer last Friday, they said that they would be virtually quitting YouTube altogether. All they would post on YouTube in the future would be the premiers of each new show, while the seasons themselves would only be released on the streamer, which would require a subscription for the annual price of $60, or the monthly price of $6 (which would total $72 for the year). This of course was only factoring rates for United States residents; the prices would be higher for those internationally. It's also not getting into how the original plan was also to pull all older seasons off YouTube, as evidenced by what the company told Variety, before Ryan backtracked it in response to the initial backlash.
However, in the update, the Watcher team reveals that they are backtracking as much as they can with regards to the streamer. While they are still going to have the streamer for the prices listed, they are going to still upload new seasons of their shows to YouTube, albeit one month later than the shows premier on the streamer. For people who have already subscribed who wouldn't have had they known this was going to happen, they can ask for a refund and they will receive it. Additionally, patrons of the Watcher Patreon will now receive access to the streamer for free, and can also reach out to Watcher for a refund if they've already subscribed to the streamer.
In my opinion, this is the best case scenario. I know there are some people out there who are upset that they haven't canceled the streamer entirely, but for reasons I've spoken about in other posts / comments, I really don't think it's possible. When I wrote my initial debrief post, I thought that they had built their streamer from the ground up, because that was how they made it sound in their initial announcement video. It has since come to light that they're using Vimeo's OTT service. But here is the thing about Vimeo's OTT service: it is not free. And while there is a standard plan that allows a customer to pay $1 per subscriber, the much more likely plan that a company like Watcher is going to use is the Enterprise plan, which would require a contract.
Here are the details of the Enterprise plan:
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The expanded bandwidth, upload hours, and 1080p HD streaming are reason enough for Watcher to go with the Enterprise plan over the Standard plan, but any company with half a brain cell would want a dedicated support team in case something happens to go wrong with the streamer at any point. The Standard plan is for individuals who want to get into hosting streaming websites for the first time; the Enterprise plan (as the name suggests) is for companies who want to do so, and Watcher is company.
You'll notice, though, that the Enterprise plan works by a monthly or yearly subscription, and that there is no flat rate available. This means that Watcher would have already negotiated a price, and likely has already paid at least some, if not all money up front (assuming they went yearly instead of monthly, and as Watcher's own plan shows, you normally get discounts for annual plans over monthly ones). What this means is that Watcher has absolutely already put money into the streamer, and that they are in a contract they likely cannot break without incurring more fees / losing money they have spent. So at least for the time being, the streamer has to exist. They can't simply walk away from it completely like some people still want them to.
So with that in mind, deciding to release the new seasons for free a month later on YouTube is the best possible outcome. They're still keeping the streamer for those who have and want to be subscribed to it. Releasing content early on a paid platform (such as, and I am just spitballing wildly here, Patreon) is a practice that many YouTubers have engaged in for a long while now. And I would guess the month delay is because they still really, really want to lure people to the streamer. Depending on how much money they put into that Vimeo OTT contract (and I really have no way of knowing how much money that was), I can understand why. Even so, it is a surprise to me that they are willing to compromise with the fans at all. I really was not expecting them to walk back any part of the decision. So this really is the best possible outcome any of us could have hoped for, in regards to specific actions regarding the decision they made before. The future of Watcher doesn't look as bleak now as it did on Friday.
With that said, let's address the content of the video itself.
Setting aside the "three ex-Buzzfeed employees on a couch" meme quality of the video (especially since the Try Guys on the couch hadn't done anything wrong themselves, whereas the Watcher guys did), here are the specific things I want to address:
1.) They centered Shane in the update video. I believe this was deliberate.
Over the weekend, huge swaths of the fandom blamed Ryan and especially Steven while exonerating Shane. At best, they just ignored Shane. At worst, they insisted that he was secretly against the idea all along and that the other two (especially Steven) had forced him into it / outvoted him. Setting aside the implicit racism in all of this (because although the fandom has had a very hard time admitting it, you don't find the men of color inherently untrustworthy / unlikable / unrelatable and the white man inherently relatable / trustworthy / likable without implicit biases, you just don't), it's unreasonable to think they didn't notice with the flood of hateful comments flooding Steven's and Ryan's socials while Shane got less heat. Not no heat, mind, but considerably less when compared with the other two.
So upon noticing that, they centered Shane -- who was still the most liked by the fandom, the one still seen as a "comrade" by a huge number of the fandom -- in the middle of the couch, to draw the eye, to play to the audience subconscious. The sight of Steven (and to a lesser extent Ryan) makes you angry? Put them to the side, put Shane in the middle. Let his white face calm you down. It absolutely sucks ass that this was needed, but again, there were both explicit racist comments and implicit racism at play all over the place this past weekend. It was disgusting, I'm sure they noticed, and they staged themselves on that couch accordingly.
(And it was staged, as well, because on the podcast they've talked about how Ryan often likes sitting in the center and Shane (and Steven) prefer sitting off to the sides. And in the first video we see this; Ryan is in the middle, with Steven and Shane are on either side of him. But in this one, it's switched. Wonder why? This is why.)
2.) They acknowledge that they messed up, and they apologize.
Now, their bad business decision is their bad business decision. If they wanted to tank their company by moving completely to a paywalled streamer that doesn't have nearly enough content to appease less than the most diehard of fans, much less appeal to potential new customers, that's on them. But in their announcement video, they were obtuse about the financial situations of many of their fans; they were patronizing, they were arrogant . . . they messed up. They messed up, and they say it plainly, and they apologize.
This is the most basic, the lowest of bars to clear. But many YouTubers fail to clear it. It's refreshing to see that they haven't. Personally, I have respect for people who can own their mistakes, apologize, and then resolve to do better in the future. We are all human; we are all going to fuck up at some time or another. The important thing is to acknowledge when we do, apologize for it, and then try not to do it again in the future. The fact that these three acknowledged that they fucked up, apologized for it, and then outlined the actions they're taking to fix the wrong actions they took above are all good things in my eyes.
(On that note, I also appreciate that they specifically address what hurtful things they said, and explain why those things are hurtful. They acknowledge that they blew off all the fans that couldn't afford the streamer, as well as the fans who have supported them via merch sales, Patreon subscriptions, live shows, et cetera for all these years. They acknowledge the comment about "a price anyone and everyone can afford" was insensitive and wrong. Anyone can say "I'm sorry" and have it be meaningless if they don't know why they should be sorry. The Watcher team clearly did listen to the feedback and understands what they did wrong. I appreciate that.)
3.) The one thing in the video I did not appreciate and that I think was a misstep was the part where Ryan tried to once again explain why they thought the streamer was a good idea.
We heard them explain in the announcement video that they need money from the streamer, and that they have a hard time reconciling their content with ads. The problem they face is this: if the audience didn't buy that then, they are not going to buy that now when they've had an entire weekend to be upset. And not only have they had an entire weekend to be upset, but we've also had at least one YouTuber who owns a company that connects YouTubers to advertisers lay out exactly how much money Watcher should be making from their channel and how friendly their channel is to advertisers, so the claims make even less sense now than they did before. Attempting to insist that, "we really do need the streamer money though" is doing little to convince those of us who didn't already believe that. You can say, "we would lose the company if we didn't do it" until you're blue in the face, but you really are wasting that breath.
More importantly, though . . . an apology is not the time for justifications. This video was meant to apologize for your wrongs to your community and announce the actions you are taking moving forward to right those wrongs. Which, to be fair, is what Watcher did. What the video was not for was to say, "But we were right to introduce the streamer because . . ." No one in your audience wants to hear that. Even if it made financial sense (which it did not), this is not the time or place for that, especially when what you are saying now is what you already said in the announcement video. It feels defensive at best. It's simply not the best move. It's not the time or place.
Which is not to say that nothing else should have been addressed here beyond an apology. Had they read a chunk of the fandom the riot act for the racism and other out of pocket comments (e.g. apparently people were posting on Ryan's wedding photos on IG that Mari would leave him when she realized how selfish and greedy he was), I would have supported them in that. Alas, twas not to be.
All in all, my final judgment on the whole situation is this: the response video is the best possible outcome any fans could have hoped for. I will remain subscribed to their YouTube channel, because I am an adult with a full time job and a life and so I don't mind watching the videos a month later if it means watching them for free. I accept the apology that the Watcher team has given, and I appreciate the fact that they got someone with actual public relations experience to assist them in writing and presentation (because they very clearly have a PR person assisting them now -- that was not a Watcher original production).
But just because I accept the apology doesn't mean that I have forgotten, or will forget, what has transpired. I have known for awhile now that Watcher Entertainment is not the tiny underdog they pretend to be. After all, they got DISNEY to sponsor them for an episode of Ghost Files. (The Haunted Mansion episode, to be specific.) When you have Mickelous Fucking Mouse himself opening his checkbook to cut you some cheddar for advertising, you have hit the big time. You can no longer claim to be a small, pitiable underdog at that point. Previously, I was happy for them that they were hitting the big time. I remember messaging a good friend of mine so excited that they were getting paid by The Mouse. After this debacle, though? Seeing them pretend to be starving to death while still getting cut checks by huge corporations for ad revenue? That sweet taste has turned rather bitter, especially when their merch -- multiple items of which I have purchased -- is so overpriced as well. (I paid over $80 for that Mystery Files jacket. It's just a regular denim jacket with the logos stenciled on . . . I was glad to support them and to have a jacket featured on the show, but now . . . smh.)
All of this is to say: I will still watch their shows for free on YouTube. I'll listen to their podcast when I need background noise. But I'll never again buy a piece of merch. And I'll regard them as I do the owners of any other company: businessmen who are, at the end of the day, there to make money. They are company owners, they are actors, and they are nothing more than that. And that's fine. They don't have to be.
That's where I stand, anyway. Everyone else is free to reach their own conclusions on the matter.
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destielfanfic · 6 hours
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Group Ask #212
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And even bigger thanks to all folks who help us to find lost fics! You guys are the real MVPs!!!
Ask #1 (Anon 1 ): there’s this fic…# 1
It's canon divergent and I think Dean and Cas get together in the middle of it. But it's a case fic where demons are gathering all over and Sam calls a bunch of hunters to the bunker. They split into teams and go to the areas where the demons are gathering. Dean and Cas are a team and they go to this office building and the boss is this lady who is possessed. I really really don't remember much else but there's one part that I recall vividly. Dean and Cas are caught by the demons in the office and tied up. The boss lady tells them that they actually want Sam. Dean asks her if she really expects him to give up his own brother. She says no, but Cas might. Cas says "he's my brother too." And that's basically all I remember. Also, I think Jody ends up rescuing them from the demons. And there's an asshole hunter that one of them punches. Sorry I know this is vague but I've been looking for this fic for months now.
Ask #2 ( ): there’s this fic…# 2
Hi! I’m looking for a fic, and I swear I’ve found it before and now I’ve lost it again, BUT. It’s an AU, that starts in like Roman/grecian times where Dean is captured and Cas (I think Cassius??) is the son of the lord and likes to taunt all the slaves his father’s got. Anyway one day Dean leads a revolt and ends up getting caught and killed for his efforts, and he vows as he’s dying to find cas in the next life. And then! They find each other in the next life!! But this time they’re falling in love! And I cannot for the life of me remember what it’s called or any relevant tags. I know I read it on AO3! Thanks!
Ask #3 ( @forthosethatwonder ): there’s this fic…# 3
Hi! I've been thinking about this fic for a while and I can't seem to find it. It's a very angsty story. I think it takes place in California. Dean and Cas are former foster kids who grew up next to each other. Dean, in a more normal house with Ellen or Missouri, as his parent. Cas was in a house with many other kids and had an abusive foster parent (Azazel/Allistar?) that he eventually has to kill to stop him from hurting the younger children. Cas eventually just disappears from Dean's life, but returns to the home when he finds out that Dean's foster mother is sick or recently died? The fic bounces between past and present. I hope those are the details, it's been a while since I've read it. Hopefully someone can remember what it is. Thank you!
Ask #4 ( @loveagoodstory2 ): there’s this fic…# 4
4.1 Hello I’m looking for a fic I read some time ago. In this story Dean takes a job as Cas companion. He saves Cas at a party by bringing him a phone call. Dean has a bad panic attack in the shower and Gabe helps him. I think Cas owes a security company.
4.2 There is also another one where Dean catches Cas in bed with Meg and it’s so heartbreaking. (He was able to catch them because he was driving a different car) Gabe and Sam are at the divorce proceedings with them because Dean had to go through therapy. Gabe feels bad because he introduced them.
Ask #5 ( @heynow-urarockstar ): there’s this fic…# 5
Hello! Really hoping you can help me find a destiel fic set around season 7. Sam and Dean find Cas from the lake all wounded and take him back to patch him up. Leviathans are after them, Sam keeps seeing Lucifer, and lots of Cas-whump as they move around a bunch. Cas is blind for a majority of the fic. Been looking for it for weeks! I think word count is around 60-100k words.
Ask #6 ( @trueastoast): there’s this fic…# 6
A while back I read a longer kinda slow burn fic where destiel were childhood or highschool friends later turned lovers. They get married later in life and foster to adopt a little girl then when she’s older they foster a troubled preteen boy the Cas thinks might be a lost cause but Dean puts in the work and they bond over past parental trauma and fishing. Wish I could remember the name I just know it was an AU with a sprinkle of internalized homophobia in the beginning of their relationship and disagreements over adoption later. Any tips appreciated!
Other requests
Ask #7 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic, “Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester” by asexualclassicist on AO3.
Ask #8 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic, “I’ve got a Bad Case of Lovin’ you” by HigherMagic.
Ask #9 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic "Castiel's Scars" by Martypom.
It takes a village to find a lost fic, every reblog is appreciated!
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careless whisper
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♡ STEVE HARRINGTON'S MASTERLIST ♡
❁ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❁
﹆ Summary : you loved him with all your heart but he became unfaithful and there's nothing that he can do to mend it, is it really your last dance together?
﹆ Word Count : and again hoping it's not that too long for y'all
﹆ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️KingSteve! x FEM!reader, cursing, Steve and reader are both (18), unprotected sex, p in v penetration, both oral receiving, SMUT‼️, slight public sex I guess?, Steve will be so oblivious with readers feelings, cheating, unrequited love, friends to lovers, emotional abuse, tolerating, no use of y/n, not going to give any spoilers in here but beware that this will be ANGSTY!
﹆ What to Expect : SMUT‼️, FLUFF‼️, ANGST‼️, Steve and reader are the IT couple on Hawkins High, of course- by the term "King Steve" you know what that means, sorry ✌🏻
﹆ Note To Reader : Y'ALL BABY'S FIRST EVER STEVE HARRINGTON FIC!!!! AHHHHH <3 I'm so excited to spill all of my ideas about my first ever fave character from the show! and yeah I also apologize that I chose to do angst first 😔🤚🏻
﹆ Author Note : this is literally one of my favorite songs from George Michael and don't come at me, okay?!? I was just listening to this song and I was like why is this so Steve coded?!? AND YUP IT CLICKED AN IDEA!!!! ;))
Present : Prom 1984
"How are you holding up?" He asks as he tries to look at your eyes but you're avoiding it
"Been alright" you say as you look at him very briefly, your touches with him as you both swayed in the dance floor it felt different
His heart sunk when you couldn't even look into his eyes in the same way again
The eyes that are once so dreamy when you both locked in
He can tell that you're still moving on from him
He can tell that your eyes speaks louder than words
He can tell that you're still hurting because of him
Past : He shouldn't had an affair with someone else
"Diana, she isn't-"
"I know"
Steve is staggered as he swallows nervously in front of you, he wishes to be sucked down deeply on the floor and never to be seen again
He's ashamed for himself
He doesn't understand the meaning and the idea of love until it hits him like a block of bricks
And it hit really hard to the point that right after he slept with the other woman that night after the party that you both went out
He realized he made a mistake
A huge mistake that "sorry" can never undo the damage to what he has been done
Once the trust is broken it can never be fixed
You know he had a choice not to choose to cheat on you
But you laugh in disbelief as you think about it
Oh, right, he's King Steve
He doesn't know feelings and wants to keep his title to stay relevant
"W-Wait, you knew?"
"Everybody at school knows about it, Steve" you tried your very best to mask your pained expression but he can see it
The look on your face pierces right through his chest as he gulps
You have every right to be mad at him
You have every chance to shout and yell at him
But you didn't....
You talk so cold like it doesn't even matter to you
He darts his eyes everywhere in the room as he spoke again "After all this time?"
You sigh tiredly "Yeah"
He shook his head at you as he couldn't believe what you just said
"How? H-How you look-"
"What- I look what?!"
"You look...fine"
You incredulously laugh "Of course, I've had to Steve, we both got a title to keep it stable, right?" You reply to him in a mockery way as he averts his eyes somewhere else
"If you knew then why are you still with me?"
You frown at his words as you take all the courage to not breakdown at him, to not show him that you're weak but you failed since....
You love him too much that it's okay if you break apart from him
"Because I love you, Steve! Why don't you get that?!?"
Your chest heaves heavily as you try to control your breath as you cried angrily but also filled with sadness and frustration
Steve gasps, the moment you snap at him and saw you for the first time like this
You've never showed your side of vulnerability, yes, you've told him a couple of glimpses of your life but never this
Now, his eyes burned with forming tears as he tries to close his mouth in shock
You loved him? No one has ever loved him truly before
"I loved you so much that I play pretend so I can keep you!" You hiccupped into your own tears
"I loved you too" he said it out loud before he can stop himself, you saw how his eyes widens when he realizes what he just said
It's like a record scratch, you stare at him with your tear-stained cheeks as you studied his face
You blink, "What?!?"
"I've been drawn to you ever since we we're friends"
"S-Steve" you shift on your stance
"You're the only friend that I've ever had, who knows me better than I do"
You throw your palms on your face as you continue to sob
You're both dating for almost 2 years but why does he have to betray you to make him realize that he is in love just like you?
"Is this true?" You quietly say as you wipe away your tears
"Yes, it is" he walks closer to you but you moved away giving him the signal that you don't want him to hold you
"I-I tried to ignore the signs before that I thought maybe you- you just wanted this for to gain something"
What the fuck?
"Is that all really matters to you? Steve? don't you even think about how much I've suffered to maintain my sweet-like personality whenever we walked in the hallways?!?"
He thought maybe if he confessed his true feelings to you, everything will go back to normal
But it doesn't....
Not even the truth will bring the both of you comfort
Pain is all there ever is
"I've wanted to scream and I'm so tired to act like everything is okay, I really really wanted us to last, Steve"
"Turns out it was just only me who wanted to have a future with you"
The words just rolls out of your bitter tongue and it's a punch to his gut
"N-No, that isn't true" he begs
"You lost me, Steve, you had your chance and you blew it" you sniffle
Before he can say anything, you left him alone in his house as his eyes are still glued at the closed door hoping that you'll come back
But you never ever did
Future : if only he's loyal to you this wouldn't happen
You endured every single thing that his friends talked about you
Talked about, you're not fit into their world
Saying that "she doesn't belong here" but you didn't care because why?
You loved him
You love Steve Harrington despite what everyone else says
You don't care about titles
You don't care about these social cliques
You just wanted to have good friends and well, maybe love
Everybody adored you at school saying that you're the sweetest and kindest popular girl, it's actually rare for them to have those qualities because most of them are fucking assholes
You even overheard some other people like how did you even get into this situation?
Back in 1982, you're a new kid at school and you somehow manage to get into King Steve's heart without any hassle
You wished you've only stayed as friends
So, this wouldn't have hurt this much
"Steve!"
"What?"
"You know I'm ticklish!"
"I don't know" he feigns innocence and he still continues torturing you into your side as he towers over you as you lay at the grass with a blanket on his backyard
"Stop!" You say with a breathy laugh
He chuckles when you pout at him holding the both of his wrists "Okay, okay"
There's a moment that both of you halted over your silliness at each other
He never felt anything like this before
His heart is beating so loud that he could hear it throbbing on his ear
Your eyes went everywhere to his face
He is absolutely so beautiful up close like this
You're the first one to break the whatever that was
He nods as he runs his fingers through his hair as he watches you
He is so thankful that he has someone like you
You've never judged him, you let him know that emotions are valid that he can always count on you
You comforted him on his darkest days, you're the sunshine that help him to forget his absent parents
You feel so sorry for him when he told you he's alone most of the time in his enormous house
Yeah, maybe he's wealthy but he did not once felt happy until you came along
You're like an angel, he knows that he made the right decision to sit next to you at English Class, that's where it all began your newfound friendship
A part of him is afraid at that time you might back out if you found out that he's King Steve and his reputation at school
He is surprised that you didn't knew anything about him and that gives him a relief
After everything crashed down, now, you wished you knew all about him that's how he thinks about love
It's all just fun and games to him
You cursed at yourself for being so lovesick
A smile grows on his lips as watches you ate cherries on the vanilla milkshake that he make for you, it's your favorite
The whipped cream went on the sides of lips as you take a sip from the straw
He swiped it using his thumb and you blushed at his sudden action
He licked it off clean as you watch him
He catches you staring, there's a unreadable gleam on your eyes that he didn't not quite understood yet
Steve can't even register that he's moving closer to you and you froze as you hold your milkshake tightly as he cradles your cheek
He runs his tongue over his lips as his eyes stare at your rosy lips
He moves inches closer and your breath hitches, your mouth is slightly open as you look at him
He gave you one last look before he dive in
Your lips are now connected to his as he pulled you closer to him, he snatches your milkshake away as he puts it down as you start squirming and shut your eyes as you throw your arms around him
He smiles through the kiss as he deepens making you moan and his heart flutters at the sound of it, your hand crawls through his perfectly styled hair and he made a guttural groan at your move as you tug it slightly
His hands went at your waist as he squeezes it, the touch is overwhelming and your skin feels on fire everytime he grabs and graze his fingertips under over your clothed body
He slowly made you lay down beneath the blanket as you spread your legs to position himself on top of you
Your heart had never been this so fast, he tilts his head over the side as you yelp when his hands went under your skirt he starts toying with the garter of your panties, he smirks through the kiss
He cuts off your heated make out session as he removes his shirt and his eyes widens when you chase his lips as he pecks on it, you blink at his bared chest as you became flustered yet again, your fumbled panicky with the buttons of your blouse but he halted you as you let him undress you
It reveals a red lacy bra as he wolfishly whistles and you playfully slapped his chest as you duck your head down in a shy manner
God, why you gotta be so adorable?
He uses his index finger and his thumb to lift your chin to make you look at his gaze as you finally take him in
His cheeks are flushed, his hair is a mess and both of you are matching the same looks
The look that he's giving you, it's enough to make your mouth run dry and the wetness is pooling between your red lacy underwear
It doesn't take him too long to kiss your lips once again as he rises up slowly to undo his belt and his pants along with his boxers
He unclasps your bra as he throws on the side doesn't really matter where it lands as your hands when back onto your skirt to unzip it as you shimmy down and put it away
He reaches at your red lacy underwear but the moment he struggles to get it off, he starts to get impatient he snaps it just right about where your knees making you squeal
"I'll get you a new one, don't worry, baby" he growls as his hot kisses went everywhere on your chest and you can tell that he is hesitant to touch you
He doesn't even know if you wanted this but as if you can read his mind, the second thoughts were erased as you told him
"Steve, it's okay, you can touch me"
You breath heavily with his kneading your breasts as he plants smearing marks on your neck hitting that sweet spot making you mewl
He pats your thigh as a signal to wrap it on his hips
He holds your waist aggressively you know it will be bruised and it turns you on even more
You gasp as you can felt his tip intruding your tight hole as you can feel him entering smoothly along with your juices and arousal
It doesn't even needed a lubrication, he is drenched because of you
"Jesus Christ, y-you're dripping wet" he grunts as he watches your cunt devouring him as he can see your eyes fighting to stay open
He smirks as he fills you all the way up, you throw your head onto the side as you bit down your bottom lip
"S-Steve, please move"
He is so big to make you scream as you finally adjusted to his size and felt comfortable with pain and pleasure
He puts the other leg down as he lifts the other one as he puts over his shoulder and pulls you down closer to him that earned a whimper from you
He starts rutting in and out slowly, he hasn't even done anything and yet, it's driving you crazy
The squelching noises, the slamming back and forth with his slow pace as you start clenching around him
"Goddamn it, baby, you gotta stop doing that" his mouth is hanging open and already knows what heaven feels like
This is heaven
He doesn't ever want to leave
"M-Move f-faster" you stuttered between soft moans as you pawing at his hairy covered chest as he begins to go rough on you
Your hand flew over as you slapped and covered your mouth as your breasts start to jiggle from his movement, he tear off your hand as he pins it down
"Don't be shy on me, I wanna hear you loud and clear"
You whine and arched your back as he start to held both of your arms to go along with his neck as he pulls you even more further making him go deeper inside of you as you throw your head back and you gave him his wishes
You moaned beautifully as he devilishly smirks as he kisses you again but this time is filled with lust and teeth began to clash
Your whole body feels lumpy as both of you went back down as he raises both of your arms over the top of your head as he pounds at you placing kisses all over your face
You watch him down below as he fucks you ramming his way so easily
Your eyes rolls back as your high pitched moans went "ah-ah-ah" he feels so fucking great to hear those coming out of you because he's the one that made you feel like this
"So tight, baby, you're killing me"
"S-Steve, don't sto-p"
You wrap your legs around him as you tangle at him along with his body to push him down
"Oh shit!" he exclaims as his eyes darkens
You giggle but the time when he fingers touched your clit and you shudder
"Not so funny are we now, baby?" He bullys your clit earning a lewd noises falls from your lips
You nod at him pathetically as you matched his movements making him chuckle darkly
He lets go of your hands as he hooks his hand under your knees as he sheathes himself inside of you
You started babbling at him saying "S-Steve- fuck! That's it right there!" You shouted out loud but not without a moan
Yes, this is what he wanted
Let the neighbors hear you that he's the one who giving you this sweet pleasure
He thrusts as you shake your head begging for a release
"Yes, baby, I know, just let it go, I got you"
"ah-Steve!-oh"
You moan wildly as you chant his name as you came undone
He spills his load painting your flesh walls white
Your legs are trembling and you're shaking badly as he lazily smile as his spent body went boneless on top of you
You embrace him with your warmth along with your tangled legs as you kept him in place
His eyes go big when he realizes he had done something, you felt him became tense as you hold him softly by his shoulder blades
Despite, the fiery sex that you just both had, you're still in that haze but you remembered that both of you just did that on his backyard is making you feel fuzzy
He carefully rips himself off of you as he start scrambling to get on with his boxers
You immediately missed his scent on you
You furrow your brows as you watch him run off with that worried look on his eyes
You didn't have the time to wear your discarded clothes as you chose to grab his towel that is hanging around the lounge chair that he uses when he wants to take a dip from his swimming pool, you covered it with your naked body
"Steve! Wait- what is it?" You asked him with concern his heart feels booming inside of his chest by the tone of your voice
You really did care about him
This is all too good to be true
You followed him as he moves the sliding the door as he went outside he stopped once he's in there
You stare at behind his back and insecurities are now lurking in the shadows
Did he regret it?
Just run off and never look back save yourself from rejection
But you didn't instead, you touched his shoulder softly as he melts with it, you call out to his name again, you swore you heard him crying
He slowly turns his body around facing you and now you met Steve's eyes with threatening tears that are about to fall
"O-Oh my god, Steve? Are you okay?- Tell m-"
"W-We didn't use protection- and I-" he croaked up in his own tears
"I came inside of you and I didn't even asked you first that if you wanted this to happen" he motions at the two of you and you can see the guilty look from his eyes as he rests his forehead against with yours
Your eyes softens as it starts become glossy
Did he ruin your friendship?
Did he broke the last precious thing that meant a lot from him?
"Steve, it's fine, I've wanted you to"
His blinked the tears away just to see your face clearly
"Y-You wanted it?" He says as he holds your hands raising it closer to his face as he kisses it
You take a deep breath through your nose as you brave enough to confess your feelings
"I wanted you more than as a friend, Steve"
The swallows the lump on his throat as his chest eases out from tension
"The truth is that I love you, Steve" a fallen tear as you smile at him
Your eyes are shining with so much affection that he doesn't have before and it scares him
He shakes his head in disbelief as he watches you hug him
"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know that I do, I am really in love with you"
He squeezes his eyes shut to your words as he hugs you tightly as he rests on the crook of your shoulder
He finally got what he wanted all of his life
Until, he realizes it was too late
He was too late for him to figure it all out, when you finally made up your mind that you want him in the first place
You loved him too early, he loved you too late
Aftermath : you can't ever lie to yourself that you still want him after how he treated you harshly
As much as you wanted to cling on to him and keep things the way they were
You know what's best for you
You know it's the right thing to do
You know deep down to your soul that you don't want this to end
But this is all too much for you, too much for you to bear
The agony, pain, sorrow, disappointment, heartache, if you continue this, you will be miserable
You want it keep it going, hell, if he asked you to marry him, you would, fuck, he might not even finished saying the lines, you will say "yes" to everything
But his heart is elsewhere, his mind is remains afloat
You got your heart and your soul devoted to him, you gave your most sacred value, your body
Only to be wasted to be washed away down the drain
But still, you've never regret doing it to him,
But no matter what you do, no matter how many times he apologizes to you, sure, you can see it that he despised his fault for your failed relationship
It isn't feel right and it isn't working
You can't see and look at him in the same way before, all you can see is....
It's deceitful, it's making you so angry but you will never show how hot-headed you are
Because, yet again, you loved him, no matter how you wanted to scratch his face out of madness
He is intimidated by your whole sense of nonchalant micro expressions but he knows behind that mask
You're upset
You know it yourself that you've done everything that you could ever give to him
You conclude in your own thoughts alone that you aren't enough for him
There might be sprinkle of insecurity that you wanted to brush it off but that's what you feel
You supported him, take care of him, you've been a good listener, you've been a loving girlfriend of his that in other people lenses
You're just an eye candy
Now, you understand what you've gotten those sympathetic eyes on you at school
Because this is all what comes down to....
You're just another girl that he got himself a jackpot to his prize
Just another trophy to his collection that he just....slept with you and he'll do it again after to the next girl that he got eyes targeted
Despite at how brutal that sounds
You will always love him
Back to Prom 1984
You can feel everyone's eyes on the both of you
You're dancing together at the center of the dance floor
They knew about you and Steve's relationship and the infidelity that he has done
They knew about the bond that is going to fall apart
Steve thought that the music is far from being too loud, he is getting overwhelmed by it, he wants to turn it off and leave the premises with you where he feels safe
Now, he is slipping off with your delicate fingers, the only sanctuary that he has ever given and he knows that he is fucking lucky to have you
He wished that the both of you could lose this crowd
"Let's go outside"
"N-No, S-Steve- No"
He ignores your protests and he tugs at your hand leading you out of the dance floor as he tries to scrape you off your feet and dragged you outside
The students starts whispering all around
He is surprised that you let him hold you
You let him intertwined your hands with his
He pushes you outside first slowly and he closes the door behind him, the music blurs out
You wrap your arms around yourself the night chilly air hits your delectable skin as the fairy lights from the streets makes you look glowy
He sadly sighs as he finally had the chance to look at you like this again
This is the only time that he saw what's in your eyes, god- is this what he trying to dodge? what is he thinking? all he wanted is to punch himself for cheating on you
All he can see the remnants of your undying love to him on your eyes but also mixed with a cloud of gloominess
He fucked up big time
He removes his coat as he tries to give it to you
"I don't want your coat" you step away as you sternly look at him
He ignores again, your remark as he places his coat around you
"What should I do to gain back your trust, please tell me" his hazel eyes pleads for you and your eyes burning from the tears forming
Your chest tightens, you don't want to have this conversation again
You know it'll ended up so raw and you feel exposed by your feelings and the worst case
The transparency of your emotions
The seconds as he awaits for your reply, the music from the gymnasium dies
You look at him that he doesn't ever wanted to see
It terrifies him horribly as he begins to cry in front of you as you did too
"Oh, god- please no" his voice starts breaking and your heart shattered at the sound of it
He knows exactly the meaning behind your melancholic eyes
It's all sad goodbyes
"Steve, maybe it's better this way" you say as you held his cheeks as he presses himself against it at the palm of your hands as he kisses it
"No, it's not-"
He knows that you aren't a fool to this any longer, he knows what's about to happen but he can't help but beg for you to not leave him
You rip your hand out of his cheeks as he already misses your touches
You hated how fast you feel powerless over him whenever you talked to him like this
You hated how easily that he can get to touch like nothing happened
But, not this time, not anymore
You're trusting your gut, you listen to your inner voice
"Steve! If we pick up where we left off, we'd just end up hurting ourselves and it will hurt a lot more of the things that we wanted to say to each other"
"Don't say it like that- I promise that'll be better, I'll prove it to you"
You slam your lips over his and he can't help but feel the same butterflies on his stomach that he once ignored, you kissed him like it was your last breath
There's a voice inside of his head that says he something is bad is about to happen
God, if he could only turn back the time and he'll make things right
"Don't let this get over with your head, I am giving you one last dance, one last touch and one last kiss"
"N-No, please- don't let go-"
"I'm saying that this is goodbye, Steve"
"W-We could've have been so good together, we could've have this dance forever"
You smile sadly, "I wish you thought about that before you crossed me" he watches you as you take off his coat from your shoulders
Your heels hits the pavement as it starts clicking as you walked away from him
He chases you as he hugged you from behind, you breakdown in tears again, he rests his head over your shoulder as he sniffled
"Please stay"
"You will always have my heart, you know it belongs to you ever since, Steve, and I'm always going to love you, but I have to go" you caressed his hand as you remove yourself from him as you take a look at him one last time
"I love you Steve Harrington, thank you for giving me how betrayal feels like" you humorlessly chuckle as he runs his hands over his face, he keeps shaking his head sideways
You kissed his cheek as he watches you with those tired eyes, of course, you can notice everything, the dark circles surrounding his eyes
He hasn't gotten any sleep like you do
He can't sleep properly because of you
His mind and his heart screams at you
He wants you back on his life, but now, he's alone again
He hates himself and he knows what he did is unforgivable and unforgettable
"I'll miss you, take care okay?" You choke in your own tears as you fixed his hair for the last time, the kind gesture that he always admired, he can't believe that this is the last time
He holds both of your shoulders "I can't never love again, I only want you"
Your heart cracks piece by piece to his words
The time is running out, you need to move
"If you really love me you have to let me go, Steve"
He begrudgingly loosens his hold on you as he watches you walking towards your car, his eyes are fixated on you and you know it
You badly wanted to look at him again, but you decided against it, you don't even wanna leave him like this but it had to be done
He cries standing all alone on that night
You cried while driving home as your knuckles turn white as you grip on the steering wheel
He knows for a fact that he will never gonna dance again
The way he danced with you
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diviningrodtv · 3 days
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Oh yeah, NSH Time.
I've been holding this post back for like a week😅
I absolutely love how NSH came out and I think he's currently my favourite rain world model that I've done! (Sorry Pebbles, I'm going to upgrade you later anyway :]
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I also made his scarf easily removable so you can see how the stripes aren't just on his head! The stripes and his irises also glow, but a bit brighter than the areas on Five Rotten Pebbles.
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His antennae are pretty similar to how I did Sliver's, especially considering I did his first! XD They're separated from his head a bit.
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Also if you've noticed in my art that his eyes are the exact same as in the model here, that's because they are! I tried finding a way to draw them how I usually might, but I just couldn't get the same vibe! So I said, "Fuck it!" and I've been drawing over his model ever since XD
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NSH is also who I used to make the "umbilical arm" model! So if you saw those posts, that's why the textures are all messed up!
And here it is in all it's glory!
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It's mostly made of ball joints with a flexible joint attached to the back. The last segment also twists just like your forearm bones!
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Also..... lore shit below cause I have, plans™ so-
If you don't want to know why NSH is acting strange on my blog yet, read no further!
(there's also some downpour spoilers, and some other disturbing things)
*slaps top of can* This bad boy can fit so much fucking insanity in him. (cw: self-harm yeah you heard me)
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If you haven't figured it out already (I did drop hints :) NSH's structure is damaged! His legs are giving out because a group of scavengers thought it would be funny to transport all of their explosives at once.
So he's in a bit of a pickle!
This is when Looks to the Moon and Five Pebbles' communication tower is repaired! During their first conversation in a very long time, NSH finds out about good ol' Hunter long legs, and is rightfully distraught! He feels like a total failure, that he wasn't experienced enough to properly create his messenger.
That's what this whole post was about!
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But, experience is something that can be gained.
NSH figured if Five Pebbles was able to leave his can, then he should be able to as well, but that requires solving the three problems I mentioned in the Five Rotten Pebbles post:
The self-genome modification barrier,
A general lack of puppet central brain matter, and
No material processing within the puppet.
I'll talk about my umbilical lore for this AU here since it's relevant.
Either the "cord" or the "arm" can be disconnected, but not both. This is for ease of repair by administrators. Disconnecting them both would leave the unfortunate Iterator fully functional. Although, they would be blind in the visible spectrum (apart from overseers), unable to speak directly to someone in their chamber, and would otherwise have their workflow be severely impaired. They would effectively be trapped in their own head.
NSH realised that even if the barriers existed, they could still have the intentions, to break them. So what would happen, if he broke one? Not by writing it out of his system, Five Pebbles already proved how risky that method was, but instead by setting his actions in motion faster than any barrier could stop them? This was something to test, and wasn't that what Iterators were built to do anyway?
Umbilicals can only be disconnected by administrators, but what if he were to do it anyway? He needed to leave his can after all, it wouldn't be much of a loss if he was stuck on the floor of his chamber or floating aimlessly in zero gravity for a while.....
So what if he just ran fast enough to rip himself off?
What if he moved his arm back at the last second, could he gain enough inertia to pull it out of his back? Even if it took a few tries?
What other choices does he have? Perfect Five Pebbles' method until he collapses and continue even then? He had time, but not enough for that, and The Hunter certainly did not have any time for waiting around. NSH had to fix his mistake, he had to.
So this bastard goes and does exactly that, and short-circuits his entire system.
Not just breaking the umbilical maintenance barrier, but every other one in the process.
And it all hurts like hell.
But that's the first problem solved, and now he can help keep himself afloat longer. So that now, he can figure out how to solve the other two problems with precision.
Of course, the others won't like any of these plans, but, after what Five Pebbles did, they wouldn't dare disturb him if he stopped responding, right?
And maybe, he could even hijack their communications array, to look for help.
>:]
yeah so NSH is not sane
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griffinkid · 1 month
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I've seen "I don't know how to play with toys anymore" a few times lately and just wanted to point out-
Playing with toys looks different for everyone, even actual children!
Playing with toys can look like: 🧸🪁🚂
Taking pictures of your toys and writing captions for them
Brushing or grooming soft toys or toys with rooted hair
Ordering or sorting your toys by colour/species etc
Making up stories, poems or comics about your toys
Dressing or accessorising your toys
Imagining your toys talking to you or each other, forming opinions of their own, etc
Drawing your toys
Taking your toys for a walk outside, even in a backpack or pocket if you don't want to carry them openly
Making lists of the toys you have and where you got them etc
Feel free to add your own ideas
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risingsouls · 6 months
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[This is what I do with GOKU IS A BAD DAD AND HIS CHOICE TO STAY DEAD AFTER CELL DOESN'T MAKE SENSE bad takes:]
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kneworder · 3 months
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angry at the oscars barbie nominations but in an annoyinger way (i think nominating ryan reynolds makes sense but the best picture and best supporting actress noms are ridiculous)
#sorry but the more i think about it the more i really dislike the movie#ken was funny! he was silly and campy! i really did not care for the rest of the movie!#i just think the more you examine its take on feminism the more it falls apart!#it's inherently about a product! it's inherently personifying a product and making you feel sympathy for and relate to a product!#they are generating hype and engendering sympathy for something they are trying to sell you!#regurgitating second wave feminism without nuance doesn't make it groundbreaking it makes it like. fine i guess?#verilybitchie has a great video that put a lot of my feelings about it into words#idk it did not resonate with me at all and also made me kind of annoyed with how it contributed to the ongoing trend#of gendering things that aren't gendered and focusing on a segregation of gendered perspectives#tired of i'm just a girl! tired of girl dinner! tired of men are always thinking about the roman empire!#sure there are experiences more common to and relevant to women but i get so uncomfy with those kinds of generalizations#even when they're just jokes because after they get repeated enough they stop sounding like ones#just like. when you try to examine it in terms of any kind of intersectionality it falls apart#and i know it's not that serious but like come on. they literally do not once touch on any kind of intersectionality.#you can't be like 'it's a groundbreaking feminist movie!' because they said 'women struggle with misogyny' in 2023#like i know it's barbie but i don't understand why there's this impulse to say that that's something that's never been said before#just because the president is black doesn't mean you've acknowledged like. racism at all.#just because you have two fat barbies with like four lines doesn't mean you've said anything meaningful about body image#and when you take an openly lesbian actress and give her short hair and make her strange and then have all the other characters#essentially socially exile her and still think she's weird after the resolution!!!#i would say that's like!! implicitly a pretty weird way to write gay people!#i don't want to rain on anyone's parade! it's silly! it's not that serious! i just also think it's not that good!#it's fine! it's fun! but i DO think ken is the best part of the barbie movie and for that i apologize
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v-arbellanaris · 9 months
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under the cut in case tags are broken but spoilers for the game & fandom crit
i rly think some of you are just rancid for no reason btw. like i just think if u look at a queer man LI who is a canonical victim of abuse - inc sexual abuse, and the story does not shy away from it & the ramifications of that - and a deep, rich, layered story about regaining autonomy and healing and personal liberty and trying to forgive yourself for all the horrible things that you did & were while you were abused (that you were a Real monster for) and all you have to say about it is "ugh another fucking white LI ofc you're all into him" like... idk. i dont think the problem is the fact that he's white. i think there's something wrong with YOU.
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giantchasm · 5 months
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Btw, uhm... I did make a Kirby voiceclaims compilation the other day. 😳Ya'll should check it out. I'm pretty happy with some of the ideas I came up with!
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#delete later#in typical birthday fashion i am now exhausted snd overwhelmed and battling a meltdown#i stubbed my toe and now cant put any fucking weight on it#im exhausted from performing appropriate birthday excitement. i dont think i understand birthdays correctly#to me the only relevance of ppls birthday is that i can show that i care about them and give gifts that make them happy or#spend time with them. other than that its just a day. in my head my birthday is just a day but it's a day rhat im expected to be#ecstatic over. i dont understand that. i spend the day worried im not feeling the correct feelings or displaying them right#and worried bc the normal day routine is broken and im anxious bc i don't know what will happen#too much uncertainty. abd rhat anxiety makes me feel guilty. but at the same time bc to me birthdays are avout showing the#person that you care. if everyone ignored it i would start to assume they dont care. idk how to fix my brain on this#at least its only once a year. plus the whole still being alive at 24 thing freaks me out. so when i inevitably have my#meltdown or shutdown it comes with not fun things#i get the same way at christmas except its slightly more socially acceptable for me to hide at christmas.#meltdowns make me angry abd emotional so i know im being a bitch in my head but logic is hard so im just upset and angry#and confused on how im supposed to feel and act. i fucking hate my brain.#i have ordered good comfort food abd have weighted blanket abd new piercing. life is okay#i dont want to see mu parents this weekend but it will be what it will be. im so fucking tired
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rotisseries · 6 months
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how I've been feeling lately to be real🤪
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moonscape · 3 months
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bro i hate doctors so fucking much i'm gonna need every single one to kill themselves right now
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