#I don’t even mean this necessarily romantically autistism just draws him in

[qtubbo]

Fit and Tubbo attract Pac with their autistic swag

#Qsmp #morning crew #I don’t even mean this necessarily romantically autistism just draws him in

[queenofthefaces]

kyle for the character thing!!!!

Buckle up bc I’m extra af and love talking abt characters. Be aware this is like, entirely personal opinion and personal interpretation and also it’s almost 2am so LETS GO

1) sexuality hc: I’ve always really liked bi Kyle ahsjdkfk and tbh I’ve always found the idea of his attraction to other ppl really interesting

The way I characterize him is that he’s someone who’s like, typically very passive with his attraction. He’ll kind of glance at someone and think they’re attractive but he doesn’t necessarily have any strong feelings towards them or desire/drive to want to pursue anything with them. If he does want to pursue them it’s usually out of a sense of obligation or expectation—like a “well I might as well” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” kinda thing

Except Kyle DOES have exceptions—when he finds someone he feels passionately about, someone he’s emotionally and mentally invested in, it’s like 0-100 in terms of difference, bc suddenly he can’t stop thinking abt that person, how much he wants to be with them, etc. and a lot of that characterization, for me, falls in line w the specific ship I have for Kyle (which is obvious if you’ve followed me for a few but I’ll get Into That in the next section)

2) OTP: KYMAN by far my fave Kyle ship and one of my all time fave sp ships overall. I’ve always LOVED rivals/enemies to lovers ships that specifically have 1) characters who are equals 2) characters who are incredibly intimate and close w one another even if (or because of) it’s in the context of the rivalry 3) the characters have either some level of co-dependence or a need for the dynamic or one another in some way bc the relationship is fulfilling to them and bonus if 4) they’re the only ones that really understand each other

And I jus. Love that. Esp w kyman it’s so much fun taking that dynamic, the codependency and obsession, and just. Playing with it, on a storytelling/character analysis level. And then making it healthy, having them work through issues, bc the idea that “we’re both in way too deep with each other, we can either destroy each other or learn to get along” is jus 👌👌👌

And w kyman I love having Eric be Kyle’s exception. Kyle feels basically nothing towards his other s/o’s in contrast to how deeply he feels about Eric, and for Eric to have just as much depth of emotion in return. It’s fascinating and really fun esp when written from a kind of duo-redemptive story—they both start out toxic towards each other, and their relationship is toxic to other people, but they can’t bring themselves to put an end to it so they finally make it to that middle ground and come out as better peoole, together

This applies to a lot of my rivals/enemies to lovers ships but w kyman in particular there’s the added Funkiness of the childhood friends dynamic which is TASTEY like some nice sprinkles to jus add that extra Flavour. I love the concept of Kyle and Eric forming parts of their entire identities around each other from the time they were in diapers and everyone accepts that they’re always gonna he crazy for each other bc no one has the bond they do it’s so much fun

4) brotp: I should think more abt Kyle friendships tbh I don’t give those as much attention ahsjdkfkfk—tho I definitely have a soft spot for the super best friends kyle + Stan, I just have to work some development into it.

I love exploring their friendship as smth that deteriorates bc they grow apart as people, but then they realize they don’t WANT to grow apart and have to work to stay friends bc being friends isn’t as easy as it was when you were 8. It brings this really cool development that confronts Stan’s passivity towards his friends/his nihilism and Kyle’s entitlement and lack of emotional sensitivity and how they both need to make some compromises (but esp Kyle, bc I can see Stan as someone who tries very hard to not get much feedback).

In terms of Kyle being friends w other people I’m thinking it would be pretty situational. I can see Kyle getting some really eye opening perspectives from other ppl if he opens himself up to their views but that requires knocking Kyle down a few pegs lol, it’s fun to have him learn to recognize his own assumptions abt ppl and learning to value them as individuals yanno?

3) notp: honestly? Any other kyle ship. I can personally only see Kyle w Eric ahsjdkfk kyman endgame all the way. For me, a lot of other Kyle ships like, don’t make any sense, a lot in part bc I see Kyle as someone who has a lot of issues w socialization, entitlement, and selfishness along with his UNENDING OBSESSION w Eric Cartman (which also somewhat stems from those issues bc of Kyle’s sense of self identity vis a vis the rivalry)

Like, I can’t see Kyle sitting down and forming a meaningful romantic relationship w anyone else bc like, no one can provide the fulfillment, engagement, drive, and push/pull of Kyle’s relationship w Eric. Kyle would leave at the drop of a hat to confront smth Eric was doing and I don’t think he’d ever compromise with that. And someone who does compromise on that probably isn’t someone Kyle would want to be with in the long run.

I think the only ship I can see would be like, poly m4 bc that draws on pre-existing dynamics and doesn’t break or try to divy up Kyle’s attention. (Even tho like I said I don’t like Kyle w anyone else romantically)

5) 1st hc that pops in my head: my Kyle is autistic as fuck. Characterizing him as autistic gives a lot of insight into how his mind works and why he acts the way he does—a lot of his thought processes are just. What makes the most logical sense to him. It’s just that those trains of thought are on KYLES logic and that’s when he struggles to realize when he’s crossed a line or overstepped a boundary. Or how his brain is usually always “self-centered”—not in a morally negative way, just in that it’s not a natural reflect for him to remember other people.

And a ton of other things as well( including a fun hc of Kyle trying to use his autism as an excuse for being a dick, until Also Autistic Craig steps up like, no dude you’re just an asshole bc you’re not trying to do better). And bc as an autistic person, I really relate hard to Kyle to the point where if he were real I’d probably hate him bc we’d be too similar lmao; I think esp when I was a kid I acted a lot like Kyle—the self righteousness, the bossiness, the belief that my way was the only way that made sense and everyone else was just Wrong, the anger issues, etc.

It’s why I’m tough on Kyle a lot of the time, but it’s also why I love thinking abt his development, bc I know firsthand that he can mellow out, change, become a better, more wellrounded and emotionally aware person, and how he can make an effort into doing so

6) oh shit I didn’t even mean for this but obviously one way I relate to Kyle is the Above autistic hc and how I characterize him. Like I said, I acted a LOT like Kyle when I was a kid, so I know he’s an irritating little shit, but also brilliant and too thoughtful for his own good sometimes.

But another thing: I characterize Kyle as someone who is a natural leader, but hates being in official leadership positions. And this is also smth I’ve kinda written due to personal experience. But also from the way kyles often portrayed in canon—in the games, he’s always a support role, always a healer, ranged fighter, or someone who boosts and buffs allies

I see Kyle as the type of person who can easily take control in, for example, a group project situation, or when he’s hanging out with Stan and they’re only doing what Kyle wants to do bc Kyle comes up with all the ideas and Stan just goes along with them

But I can’t see Kyle as someone who’d want to be, like, student counsel president. (That’s more Wendy’s wheelhouse) Mostly bc there’s too much responsibility that it’s just exhausting, and more than that, those official positions are STIFLING. They run on someone else’s schedule and they’re creatively constructive. You can’t fully do your own thing bc you have to be constantly aware of how the group works and what the group wants. I can’t see Kyle as being happy in that position bc he’d get sick of having to conform his ideas to what other ppl want—he just wants to do his own thing.

So instead, Kyle would be more comfortable in a supporting role. Bc in a position like, for example, secretary or VP, he can still have a lot of influence, power, and knowledge, but he’s free from those restrictions that come from being the face of a group. And he’s also free from the social obligations of being a leader, esp in having to deal w other groups in like a business sort of way. AND if the group falls, Kyle won’t take as much of the blame, bc it’s probably not his fault anyways so why should everyone point fingers at him. It’s much less pressure.

(And it’s also kinda inspired by his role in the CBAA??—Cartman’s perfect in the CEO/face of the company position bc Cartman is comfortable with and relishes in the attention and social aspect of being the face/leader of a company, and Kyle can reap all the benefits of being a part of that company, including being an integral pillar of the company, w/o the deficits. If Eric and Kyle ran a company they’d work together, sure, but Eric would crumble without Kyle’s support, and Kyle would hate the stifling pressure of the head position, which makes them a perfect pair.)

(And again this is based on personal experience—I’m a natural leader. People listen to me, I can organize groups, and I’m a good mediator, but I hate when it becomes Official bc I can’t just. Do my own thing as I want to and it’s far too much to keep track of and most of it doesn’t interest me. It always irritated me when my parents tried to push me into like running for student president bc I just kept thinking abt all the work I’d have to do that I wouldn’t care abt)

7) what gives me secondhand embarrassment about Kyle? Well. Just......how much he reminds me of when I was a stupid kid. He’s such a little shit oh my god Kyle shut the fuck up YOURE NOT GHANDI. When Kyle’s being entitled and stuck up, when he thinks he’s better than other ppl, and when his own big mouth and pride are what fucks him over I’m just oh my god. Oh my GODDDDDD SHUT UPPPPP.

Mostly it’s secondhand embarrassment bc I’m jus oh my god ur an idiot—but again bc I know he has the ability to grow out of that and look back on himself with a grimace at how dumb he was ahsjdkfkfk

8) cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Definitely the latter, I love Kyle and I love when he’s happy and contented but him as a cinnamon roll kinda character feels so flat to me. I love him as a problematic fave he’s so much fun as a disaster. He’s complex—he’s tough and caring and angry and compassionate and an absolute fireball of EMOTIONS but he tries to act like he’s a logical rational person and I jus? He’s so much more fun and dynamic when he’s allowed to be messy

(Of course this is long why wouldn’t it be AHSJDKDKKFKGLGLH)

#long post #kyman #south park #kyle broflovski #fl5k #creo talks

[compassionatereminders]

Sorry about this I just really need to rant, Im gonna put a tw on this just in case bc idk what Im gonna say but Im so fucking angery >:( i have like 4 or 5 undiagnosed, completely untreated mental health things Including psychosis/schizospec, like am out here no meds no therapy bc services have been refusing to see me since i was like 13 (now 18) my mother refuses to believe me that im psychotic/schizospec and blames it on my vitamins/hormones/whatever, doesnt understand anything (1/?) - 🌟

“outside of her little narrow wellbeing "depression/anxiety" boxes, like those things suck and theyre super difficult, im just saying she doesnt understand there are other things. My dad is a fucking asshole, he makes me fun of me all the time for not being able to do simple things like get out of bed or taking forever to complete simple tasks like laundry (adhd/exec dysfunction), and he's even worse to my sister (autistic/adhd) and it just makes me so fucking angry like leave us alone!!”

“my now ex-boyfriend recently broke up w me for like the 3rd or 4th time which is a major struggle bc i also have boderline pd and we were together for p much like 2 years on and off and he said he never really liked me romantically this whole time, and I love him as a person but i also just wanna snap him like a glowstick because What The Fuck??? Took you two fucking years to figure that shit out????? Yeah whatever, but also he's my best friend so Im splitting on Him really badly

im just so frustrated because all the bad shit keeps happening to me like nothing remotely good that happens to me ever lasts and all the shitty things like the trauma and the abuse and the mental illness seems to Stick im just so tired, im so tired of screaming into the void that i want to be loved im so tired of begging to be treated like a real person by the people I love, is it too much to ask that something good Just Happens like it seems to Just Happen to everybody else?? 

is that selfish??? Is that unrealistic??? I dont know, I dont know anymore. Im so sorry for dumping all of this on you, I know you have ur own problems too so you can ignore all this if u want I just needed to Rant about it somewhere instead of just screaming into the void i needed someone to listen but u dont have to respond thats okay. I hope ur doing okay!! Ur drawings are very cute btw, keep practicing ur doing so well!!”  

It’s not selfish and unrealistic to want good things to happen - and while you may not see how or when right now, I am sure that good things WILL start happening at some point if you keep doing your best to cope and move forward. Your current situation is not your final destination and change is one of the only guarantees in life - so even if everything sucks right now, most of the things you’re struggling with at the moment is temporary. Try to hold onto that. 

According the lack of mental health care, have you looked into your options for seeking out mental health care on your own without involving your parents now where you’re a legal adult? As far as I’m aware, in most places child mental health services and adult mental health services are separate, meaning that even if child mental health services rejected you for years, that doesn’t necessarily equal that the adult mental health services will do the same thing. I definitely recommend looking into this if you haven’t already!

I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles with your parents and your ex boyfriend! It’s not easy to cope with mental illness, and facing judgment and ignorance from your loved ones definitely doesn’t make it any easier. Your ex honestly sounds like an asshole, and while you may still love him, this doesn’t automatically mean that he deserves anymore of your time. If you’ve been on and off for years and he hasn’t been willing or able to commit or even genuinely care, I think the best thing you can do is work towards moving on.

All in all this sounds like a real shitty and toxic situation and I am so sorry that you have to struggle through all this bullshit. It really isn’t fair. But please don’t let your current struggles convince you that it’s selfish or wrong to want to feel better, or that getting better is a hopeless project cause it isn’t. It may be hard and it may take time, but you deserve better and I promise you that if you keep pushing through and working on yourself, things will eventually improve.

#anon #chat with kat

[hotbugbot]

Overwatch HCs

Ana: straight. the otp with reinhardt. pretty shameless with her affection and probably embarrasses pharah with it sometimes. not vulgar, just old and open. somewhat motherly toward mccree, and is team advice grandma. voted most likely to share an embarrassing story about anyone giving her too much sass.

Bastion: beeps boops. sexuality and gender are not a thing. has made friends with nearly the entire crew of overwatch, including the anti-omnics, save for maybe anyone on team talon. voted most likely to have a collection of decorative flower pots.

D.va: pansexual trans girl. way more interested in vidya games than people. became quick bffs with lúcio, who is her transitioning buddy. her and genji are casual friends, who share a passion for classic arcade games. quietly thinks hanzo is hot but is Not About That stuffy personality. also likes the junkers, partly in an ironic way but also genuinely. voted most likely to make a meme out of stupid shit her teammates say.

Genji: bisexual. the otp with mccree, established before recall. after he overcomes his body dysphoria thanks to zenyatta’s guidance, genji regains confidence in his sexuality and becomes a giant flirt 2.0. polyamorous cyborg is much more respectful and less flighty in relationships than his younger self was. had a dragon tattoo mirroring hanzo’s own but in green down his right arm, before it got torn the fuck off. all that remains of his old body is bits of his face, his left arm, and a few vital organs. death by ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau. voted most likely to spew absolute filth in japanese around those he knows cannot speak it for kicks.

Hanzo: either bisexual with a slight female preference, or demi. thinks the team cowboy is hot hot hot, but has a much harder time coming to terms with his (gay) feelings than his brother does. has a friendship with satya based on their mutual appreciation for order and company in silence. his legs are prosthetic. voted most obnoxiously tidy room.

Junkrat: ?? gray asexual, probably. too preoccupied with blowing shit up to care much. when he isn’t blowing shit up, he actually puts in quite an effort to befriend his teammates, but to the point it is overbearing and invasive. voted most likely to lose more limbs by the end of the year.

Lúcio: bisexual, slight male preference. trans guy. became quick bffs with hana, who is his transitioning buddy. his lower half is partially prosthetic, with enhancements; unlike hanzo, synthetic pieces are built around his fleshy legs that allow him to not only walk but skate like a pro. also hangs around reinhardt a lot, but everyone loves reinhardt. voted most likely to disappear at night to satisfy a sweet tooth craving.

Mccree: bisexual. the otp with genji, established before recall. big on pet names and 100% shameless when it comes to using them in public. has a tattoo on his upper back from his deadlock days, which he now regrets. his relationship with reyes is complicated at best, largely thanks to gabriel having treated him much like a father would a son in his early recruit days. to say negative feelings have completely replaced any of appreciation and love would be a lie. still close to pharah and ana. voted most likely to whistle loudly in the shower.

Mei: bisexual or gay. probably gay. suffers from ptsd due to losing her friends in the cryostasis incident, just is, to her detriment, very good at hiding it behind a smile. has coping rituals to get by and generally gets along well with the recall team, but occasionally has to force herself to socialize. tracer, lúcio, and zarya have been particularly good at making this easier for her. voted most likely to describe memories in vivid detail like no one else can.

Mercy: bisexual. low on the angela hcs, but her hands are DIRTY, the pure angel persona is a lie. might’ve had a minor interest in ana romantically in her younger days, but never did anything about it. voted most likely to overwork herself.

Pharah: gay. thought she had a small crush on mccree when she was young, but came to realize she simply admired his confidence and companionship. has since formed a brother-sister relationship with him that’s lasted to present day. has complicated feelings toward mercy, namely, is Hella In Love with her while mercy felt more companionship with her mother in the older days, and sees fareeha like a sister. she wants to return the familial sentiment but just ends up sweating a lot and acting like a clumsy, lovesick fool. voted most likely to follow an insanely strict meal plan for health benefits.

Reaper: gay. gay and his relationship with morrison is so, so deliciously complicated. a great number of things fanned the fire that led to the incident at swiss HQ, and their personal (gaaay) relationship certainly didn’t help douse any flames. whatever happened, reyes was screwed just as much as jack, if not more. practically canon supported. voted most likely to have skull crushing thighs.

Reinhardt: straight. the otp with ana. the most affectionate partner out of all the heroes, hands down. will let you swing from his flexing biceps whether you are 4 or 40 and boisterously proclaim how he is loving every second of it. has a garden he tends to and harvests on base. fareeha’s adoptive father, but also kind of everyone’s adoptive grandfather. voted most likely to wake others with his snoring.

Roadhog: bisexual. has a natural talent for detail work, and can pick up just about any handicraft in a few attempts. if he isn’t blasting holes into things, he’s probably somewhere off in his own space sewing or baking. is polynesian, and can play a mean ukulele. vegetarian. voted most likely to liberate a herd of animals from the pound.

Soldier 76: bisexual. see: reaper. not a dad, but definitely team dad, likely against his will. i basically subscribe to the popular headcanon that jack was an overambitious golden poster boy in his younger years, and worked his ass off to get the respect and praise he thinks he deserves. things started to sour in overwatch before he was necessarily ready to deal with them or the position thrust upon him. voted most likely to say he won’t lift a finger for anyone who acts like a suicidal asshole in a skirmish, but ends up going above and beyond to save them if there’s trouble.

Sombra: gay. gets an absolute kick out of teasing/pissing everyone off. not even widowmaker is safe from her playful pestering, and honestly talon operatives must think she has a death wish because someone has ‘accidentally’ pointed a sniper rifle at her more than once. voted most likely to blackmail anyone’s ass into oblivion.

Symmetra: either gray asexual or aromantic. either way has an appreciative eye for the female form/femmes but is not interested in pursuing an actual relationship. has a friendship with hanzo based on their mutual appreciation for order and company in silence. she’s ocd and autistic, and likes winged things, such as birds and butterflies, but as something to be admired from afar rather than up close. voted best natural balance.

Torbjörn: straight. i don’t have a single torb headcanon that diverts from canon tbh. voted unexpectedly best dick game.

Tracer: CANON LESBIAN fully accepted into headcanon space, bless. also canonly fam with winston my tracer hc prayers have been answered. i don’t have much to add. voted most likely to be found napping randomly in strange places.

Widowmaker: doesn’t really have the emotional capacity for romance or sexuality since brainwashing, but thought she was straight pre-talon. ‘thought’ because she is actually bisexual, just never had a chance to explore that. still working on how her humanity eventually comes back to her. voted most likely to win a breath holding competition.

Winston: i draw the line at monkey shipping but him and tracer are great pals. voted most likely to binge watch future!netflix after a hard day and unintentionally empty out the entire kitchen by the second movie.

Zarya: gay as hell. the most she will ever admire about a man is his workout routine, and even then we know hers is more intense. has at some point arm wrestled everyone in overwatch and won. voted most likely to get hit by a truck and survive, with minimal injuries.

Zenyatta: asexual. i can’t seem to fit in any relationship that isn’t platonic for zen in my head space; he respects his brother mondatta deeply and genji as a friend and student. has an unexpectedly dry sense of humor and will deliver jokes in the flattest tone when it’s least expected. as a result, no one knows if he’s kidding or not and his punchlines are almost always followed by uncomfortable silence. voted most likely to be writing an epic in his spare time.

#hcs #tp #ovw #ive had this in drafts for months holy shit #old and unfinished but i might as well post it