#I am. SO GLAD. I'm not into that shit anymore

[messyspacespades]

I forgot I used to be into H*talia, so having a H*talia fic show up in my "recently updated" Ao3 bookmarks was like the psychic equivalent of getting boiling slime full of ghost pepper extract poured right into my eyes.

#holy fuck #i feel like I just died and got resurrected incorrectly #I am. SO GLAD. I'm not into that shit anymore #I don't think the tag Canada/Prussia HELPED THINGS EITHER #here's to hoping that fandom never finds me #I still need to go thru and unfollow all the Hetalia blogs I followed way back then. I still haven't bc my following list is SO GODDAMN LON #not transformers #messy speaks

[halogalopaghost]

#IM SO STRESSED IM SO STRESSED #I feel like I'm not handling ANYTHING well rn #so many people have symptoms that are WAAAAAAY fucking worse and they're like. working full time jobs and being a parent and shit and #I'm like waaah oh no I have body aches and chronic fatigue looks like I'll have to be unemployed and never do anything ever 💀 #how am I gonna live?? like. my parents are taking care of me and I'm so fucking glad but #SOMEDAY THEY WONT BE AROUND and that stresses me out so bad #I'm 25 years old and I NEED my mom every day if not physically then emotionally because I'm a little bitch baby that can't do anything for #herself. im having a hard time feeding myself I'm having a hard time keeping my living space clean #I'm not taking care of anything except the dogs sometimes and my lizard and she's not getting as much attention as she used to #I need a job and I need to be able to suck it up and DO THINGS but I feel like I'm not the person u was anymore #I was strong and I could push thru things and make myself do things and now I can't???? I just lay on the fucking couch!! and feel bad abtit #is it the tism. is it the ADHD. what about the chronic depression. how bout the fibromyalgia? #and the thing is that ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MILD #I don't have severe pain (yet). #I just can't handle it I don't WANT to handle it #so. shoutout to my mom I guess because if it wasn't for her I simply wouldn't be alive #I feel like I've never been happy!! why can't I just be content and be happy!!!! #I have no fucking reason to be unhappy!!!!!!

[astrxealis]

i will return on tumblr soon bcs i'm graduating hs soon and acads r done so i have a Lot of time on my hands for now Anyway can i just say am very proud of myself. got into the Top 1 school in my country, top campus, and a vv competitive stem course. yay 😁💝💘❤️‍🔥✨

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #it's hilarious bcs i got waitlisted for compsci #which i'm actually rlly proud of bcs i didn't take the exams that seriously and most of jhs was online #compsci competitive af man #but i prove my worth both online & onsite ^_^ always straight As baby! even this gr 12 LOL <3 #i got into my 3rd choice (2nd choice was psych i am So glad i didn't get in i ended up not wanting it anymore. also competitive asf so i'm #ok w that) WHICH IS the best possible outcome actually bcs it Is my dream course. #i will reveal more another time tho ... >:)) Anyway am just super proud hehe. also of my twin (we both passed & all that <3) ^___^ #also my friends !! barely any passed actually and even then i know only like 10-15 of ppl in my whole school who Did pass #and less so for their first choice/dream course or their preferred campus #MWHAHAHAHAHA >:))) ok i'm not shitting on anyone tho i'm just so so so proud and happy #gbye i am busy tho relaxing LMFAO i've been getting 12 hours of sleep the last 3 days. god. school was tiring af #but i'm a weirdo so it's fun B) Amen. i like saying amen despite being this rlly agnostic/atheist person LMFAOOO #upcat i love u. ty for loving me LMFAOOAOAOAOAOAOAO #so proud idk ig. i knew i'd make it (i hope thsi doesn't come off as pretentious) but i didn't know exactly Where #but the universe did its thing and i got into my dream school dream campus dream course #unsure abt dream school really but it's upd or not up. and also def my dream course ^_^

[aeolianblues]

one last thing I will say on that topic. Americans getting upset about you calling out Zionism. When you're not talking about Judaism or in fact, about religion at all. When you're talking about a national military funded by a country that has been dropping bombs on the middle east since the 1980s. But then I suppose when people who are so so so comfortable with equating a whole religion, or further a whole entire group of multiple ethnicities, with simply 'terrorism', are criticised on any aspect of their wrongdoings of course they must think we're talking about their whole religion. Literally every word is a projection.

#I lost all respect for that person honestly. I used to think they were quite cool. I put up with a lot of blatantly horrendous shit thinking #'surely it's only a defensive thing. Surely they're only talking about the sadness within their community rather than actively supporting #the mass killings of thousands of people. Surely they're a teacher they've got to have that empathy with kids being murdered' #No! The fucking full clownshow. And now I've been feeling like an idiot all day— like why did I go 'let it slide' x 100 #why should *they* walk away feeling like they've got some sort of moral superiority here and why should I feel like I've been struck down? #Why am I the idiot that didn't block them four months ago #Anyway sorry to everyone who's had to watch me spam about one (1) negative interaction *all day long* it will subside soon #I'm just stinging from the fucking. Utter blindness. #We've always said someone's comfort doesn't override someone else's right to survival #as a literal genderqueer person they KNEW that. They'd uttered the same fucking sentence #but alas the pinkwashing that makes me so frustrated with Americans sometimes. It magically doesn't apply where racism is concerned ✨😃 #The US really is bombs dropped by rainbow-painted aircrafts; that meme should not be this accurate #anyway I'm glad that person is not in my life anymore. I'm glad my dash has one less abomination to repeatedly show up on it #and I have every right to be angry and I will be. I just won't bother you lovely folks with it

[moregraceful]

Heavenly father, can I call you daddy?

#behaving normally abt arkells coming to san francisco!!!!! #i was gonna fly to VANCOUVER last year to see them at rogers arena and then my passport got fucked due to the name change #so i just gave away my ticket for free on twitter lol. they should play ''all roads'' for me specifically for being nice #big conversation in the leafs gc about what to wear. ''i have a hyman leafs jersey and dermott leafs shirsey. which do i wear?'' #''does he even like the leafs anymore? max was a traitor at the asg. dermott shirsey'' #''HYMAN JERSEY!!'' #''too bad i don't have a raptors his jersey'' ''I MEAN THEY FIRED HIS BOYFRIEND THERE TOO'' #''mlse hates max'' #''the fact that his boyfriends were fired in the offseason ;('' #are you normal or do you and your friends have an intricate au in which max from arkells is dating kyle dubas and nick nurse #''intricate au'' it's not an au it's just a fact #the running joke is that is bc nick nurse ended up with the 76ers and kyle is in pitt bro is just moving to pennslyvania #is it a joke....we don't know.... #the amount of kyle dubas/max arkells twt fic i've written should get me put in a home i think. there was more than one #dark days...i think my friends are glad i am off twitter frankly #i'm missing the cuda homeopener which sucks but i see the cuda 500 times a year. this is the first time the arkells have come to sf #in like. SEVERAL years. they never come to the usa west coast they only ever go to new york when they come to the us #biggest band in canada that no one has ever heard of in the usa lol. i'm not missing this shit #posting too much bc i. do not want to edit my fic #beryl gave me their beta edit notes and i melted into a puddle and rolled into the sewer drain and floated out to sea #me: ''this fic SUCKS i need HELP'' beryl: ''here are my beta notes so you can edit'' me: 😨😨😨😨 #fuck around (write a bad fic and send it to your trusted beta for help) find out (receive beta notes and now i have to edit) #(in two days)(help)(it needs so much editing) #they said i could go up tot 12-15k if i needed. small mercies. ''10k limit was so you don't write 30k again'' ok fair!!!! #fresno oilers.txt

[boxwinebaddie]

nina do you ever plan on posting the remainder of pep?

this is nonsensical but this is how i feel ig

#i'll edit this later idk i just wanted to get this out #but idk pep like triggers the shit out of me if im real #i loved peppermint but i got very sick writing it #i was not treated kindly all the time it was v stressful #the formatting is hideous #i want to private it but i wont #im also an adult lady i dont want to write about my high school style anymore like i just really dont #like its not totally finished its mostly just dialogue and id have to fill in the gaps and think a lot idk #thinking about peppermint gives me hives #im sorry i know we loved that fanfic #and ill think about just spoiling it in one go at some point MAYBE but i just want to move on #like i seriously just want to be free of peppermint like thank you for getting me here but i have so much more i wanna do #theres so much au style i wanna flesh out ( which tbh my tfbw s+k are the most similar to pep style just Super and Villian ) #new stuff i want to explore i just...i can talk about pep every once and a while but i dont really like doing it all the time #its just very overwhelming for me and i really have just moved past it so idk its ok if u dont want to stay for #my rm stuff or my other ncu stuff like if u are only here for peppermint i will not be hurt if u dont wanna stay #but im not really in the headspace to talk about it and dont really want to rip that wound open anymore im trying to heal #im glad that that fanfic brought me all of you #you were the best part of writing peppermint #thank you and i'm sorry #edit: oof u can tell where i started to have a panic attack #but feel free to ask me about tkak or the tfbw style #i can link you the references and the pinterest boards are fire i promise i am cooking a lot i feel a lot abt those

[verothexeno]

Me: *writing a fic I am actually really enjoying and I don't put too much thought into it*

-barely gets past 5-10 notes-

Me: TIME TO WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT GETTING ALMOST NO LIKES. I'M ENJOYING THAT SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

#for real tho; I am INSANELY amused by how unpopular that small fic I'm writing is #but I am just so happy writing it that I'm just ... glad? #Glad that no ones gives a shit and I'm just being a silly bean that enjoys her brainrot #My stuff could even get 0 notes and I would still don't mind #whoever stumbles upon it and likes it is good enough #I'm just sharing 'cause I'm so used to it #but frankly interactivity with people is something I just don't count on anymore #random ramble of the night #JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE #DO AND CREATE WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!

[lonicera-edulis]

I block people here and on deviantart but they still can interact with my works.

#this is not news but like #oof #no justice here #finding more awful things from proshippers #so I am glad that I am not in older fandoms of mine #although current one has a lot of them #previous one got me so tired with mutuals turning out proshippers I actually left the fandom #it upsets #they put no warnings no filters #scuze me for pointless venting #once again this is not a serious problem to focus on #actually funny because I put big warnings below my works and many proshippers still visit my gallery and ignore the warnings #btw I don't see tumblr feature where you could make post unreblogabble #is it not working anymore? #hmm now I'm thinking of deleting many stuffo nDA #I will free myself from that shit

[toffeecoffeee]

holy shit

I have NEVER had a character resonate with me this strongly before

everything about this character echos my own personal life experiences and I don't know how I should feel about it

#nimona #some of those scenes HURT to watch because I would just go like #“oh shit that's exactly how I felt” #or “oh shit something like this has happened to me” and it just #I know I already said this but it hurts (but in the good way??) #because I'm watching this and I realize #“finally people can see how I feel” #“finally somebody took the biggest problems of my life and put it into words that others can understand” #“finally I won't be alone anymore" #but then I'm also technically reliving that stuff?? so my feelings get kinda mixed and jumbled (I still think it's good tho) #but man that movie is just amazing in every way #It just takes everything the graphic novel was and cranks it up to 11 and I am HERE FOR IT #and tbh? I'm glad Disney wasn't the one to release the movie #because SO MUCH of those amazing scenes would be censored and it wouldn't be NEARLY as good #I mean I love Blue Sky to death (...literally) but we all know how Disney is

[electricfied-wolf]

One thing about me is that when it comes to like. Fanon names. You cannot fucking stop me ‼️‼️ Like if I find a name I like better and decide I want to use it instead of the super popular one then good fuckin' luck trying to change my mind on it, there are very few things that will make me change my mind. I am stubborn as a mule I will not let myself be controlled by a mass. I use every name for a character. I made up 27 new ones. I am an unstoppable force!!

#wolf howling #had some thoughts tonite #I am kind of tired #filled with spite sometimes maybe #fuck yeah 🤞 #the only reason I won't use a name I'm stuck to is mainly like. If I feel afraid to. #Posting publicly I give no shits. But if I'm in a discord server and every single member religiously commits to a specific name #I feel scared. Mainly bc 99% of the people are adults and I like a lot of them! I fear what may happen if I upset them! Like- #-what if they don't want to be my friend anymore or. attack me for disagreeing with them? #I'm so glad to be in a few servers that don't care what name you use because thats so refreshing. Much love to the Gang specifically. #You guys are stars <3

[mystic-mikey]

Send adks if you want 💕 concussed answers 😘

#rottmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rise of the tmnt #mikey rise #mikey rottmnt #rise mikey #unpause rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #I'm having a mental breakdown I'm fucking terrified how are we supposed to help raph in this state I'm fucking concussed and haven't left #bed in a day now. ive been sleeping so much while raph is ffucking suffering. my head still hurts so much and my body aches and i cant open #one of my eyes at this point. literally what the fuck am i supposed to do anymore? im so tired and scared and I can't even do anything #about it and now im fucking venting in the back of the tabs as a pathetic cry for help. god i hope nobody presses read kore for the tags #and sees this shit. im just glad leo is resting for the time being. im so scared and tired and everything hurts.

[lindwurmkai]

Dancing around my room thinking about my many talents and how talent is useless if you never get the chance to work on acquiring actual skills 😔✌️

#so glad i was able to trick my brain into learning a language at least #i miss USING my brain. i miss a whole lot of things #lately i have been thinking about learning to handwrite chinese characters with a brush like I'm doing fancy calligraphy or some shit #simply because i can't write with a pen anymore but a brush should work #i use a stylus for my phone because of reasons and frequently notice i am holding it like a brush. hmm #need more hobbies. especially the kind that involves a learning curve #weirdo chronicles

[seventhfolder]

#seventh talks shit #what the fuck is going on with the jets rn #i'm like 13 twitter tabs open trying to figure this out #'that means I know what I'm gonna do and I'm not ready to share it with you' LOL FUCK OFF BOWNESS #i am so glad that man is not the stars coach anymore

[alexhasalotofthoughts]

So glad little me was friends with the tallest person in the year group because they used to threaten to beat my bullies up for me.

#they moved to france a few years ago and we don't speak anymore :( #i am very glad we were friends though #they used to threaten to beat up anyone who intentionally deadnamed/misgendered me #considering that there were kids who would call me “it” because they saw me as less than human i found this girl to be a genuine lifesaver. #also i think they were a communist?? #idk. #they were nice though. #12 year old me had so much shit going on so I'm glad that they were there when they were. #they probably don't even remember me anymore lol 😭

[backpackingspace]

Anyway I decided to learn more about intrusive thoughts and I have since learned and remembered all sort of things about myself. An hour ago my biggest problem was that I wanted to talk about doctor who

#Intrusive thoughts #Over Sharing with the internet times #In the same vein as my other posts tonight: wow so glad I don't struggle with intrusive thoughts anymore #That shit sucked ass #The articles I read: actually here are the most common intrusive thoughts #Here are the ones we associate with ptsd #Me: ....ANYWAY #typing this I think what I am feeling is grief #For myself and the terrified child I was #I know ptsd is something that you deal with your whole life #It's scar tissue in the brain it doesn't go away #And yet everything I find I'm still struggling with things I'm surprised #The thoughts or method changes but under its all the same reason #Just disguised as something else #I think I need to come to terms with the fact that I am both in a really really good place and that I am still having these thoughts #And that I am still having these thoughts and behaviors that I will always have these thoughts #Two things can be true at once #Ptsd

[coco-loco-nut]

Hii!

Can I please ask for an angsty fic with Max, where the reader defends him from Jos after not finishing his race in Melbourne...idk if you remember when Max kept his helmet for four hours after a race because he was afraid of what Jos would have done to him after not winning...and the reader basically tells Jos to get lost even if she's like 5'4 and definitely not as intimidating as them both lol.

And then maybe after the win in Suzuka, they "reconcile" but she still reminds him to act right around her boyfriend, who's now a man and not a little boy he could pressure like he once did.

Sorry if it's too long!! Thanks for taking your time and reading my request!

Guard Dog

Pairing: Max x Reader

Summary: You are sick and tired of watching Max take Jos' shit

TW: verbal abuse

A/n: thank you soooo much for the rec, I love writing these out so much <3

requests open masterlist

----------------

"Maxie... are you okay?" you wait patiently by the door to his driver's room, careful not to barge in like Jos would, as you have for the past year since you first witnessed Jos' beratement of his son. He is sitting on the couch with his helmet between his hands. The fire causing an unpleasant start to the race, and you are just glad you got here first.

"I'm okay," his voice cracks and you step into the room, closing the door behind you. "I know it wasn't my fault, but I can't help but feel like it was my fault," Max looks in your eyes, the fire brewing behind them. You were genuinely the sweetest girl he's ever met, and to get you mad took a lot. God help you if Jos shows up, you are tired of Max feeling bad even when he podiums.

"You're right, you didn't do anything wrong, the car failed you today," you stay calm, sitting beside him and cuddling into him. Max stays quiet, enjoying your warmth, and decompressing from the start. He can understand why the fans were so happy to see him lose, in fact, if he wasn't himself, he would join them. No, the fear of his father is what has him on edge. Rightfully so, because a few seconds later the door is slammed open again.

"Max, what the hell did you-" Jos starts and you launch yourself off the couch. Jos and Max were big guys, and you were average height for a woman, 5'6 or so, but you didn't seem like it in that moment.

"Shut the hell up and leave. You have nothing useful to say and you are going to shift blame to Max who had NO fault in the DNF," you snarl, setting yourself up as a barrier between the two, Jos still in the doorway and Max on the couch.

"Girl, I don't know who you think you are, but I am Max's father, and I can-," You cut Jos off before he can continue.

"No, you aren't his father. A father doesn't talk to his son like that, you are simply a man who shares the same last name as Max. A father is someone like Carlos Sainz Sr or Lawrence Stroll. No, you are a man- sorry a boy in a man's body- who can't cope with the fact that he doesn't race anymore and wants the man who shares the same last name with him to be impossibly perfect and win every single race, even when the car breaks down." You sneer at the man. "You need to leave, before I call security and make them remove you," you don't back down, instead you step closer. Max watches in both awe and fear.

"I-"

"Leave, Jos, now. Don't make me repeat myself," you say, practically slamming the door behind him. You turn around and look at Max, seemingly calm and normal. He looks at you bewildered.

"That was the sexiest thing ever. Thank you, Schatje, you didn't have to do that," Max hugs you, a large weight off of his shoulders.

"Of course I did, who else will be your guard dog?" You smile at him, squeezing him tighter. "Now, get changed and get back to the garage," you tell Max, stepping out to the room. You let out a deep breath, surprised with how you treated Jos and stood up for Max. A couple minutes later, Max rejoins you, quickly stopping inside hospitality for a snack.

The two of you avoid Jos, going extremely low contact, not that he was trying to. Jos would never admit it, but he was embarrassed at how you spoke to him, and his retreat allowed him to ignore it. Instead, you and Max enjoyed your time together in Japan. The both of you were aware Jos was there, but chose to ignore it. After Max won, Jos warily approached the two of you.

"I wanted to congratulate you on winning. You drove well," Jos says stiffly, silently calling for a truce. You let Max take the lead on the conversation.

"Thank you," he says, feeling like a little boy again, but accepting the temporary truce.

"It was good seeing you Jos, but we need to go," you interject, sensing the still tense atmosphere. The older man, still a little scared of you despite your sweet demeanor, lets you go, not quite willing to cross you again.

"Love you, Maxie"

"Love you too, Schatje,"

#f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagines #max verstappen #i hate jos verstappen