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calhanx · 1 year

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Please let me make a fansession with these dumbasses. Do you have Dream moons or even classpects?

nothing official yet since im still in the process of adding more socials to the mix but for now my very rough draft is

tumblr — prospit (page of life)

4chan — prospit (prince of hope)

twitter — derse (thief of heart)

tiktok — derse (bard of time)

reddit — prospit (seer of rage)

instagram — prospit (maid of space)

deviantart — derse (heir of void)

youtube — derse (knight of light)

as for my reasoning, pages tend to suffer from their aspect being taken from them or suffering from other people's manifestation of the PAGE's aspect. tavros's agency was always taken away by vriska. jake was everyones crush in the alpha kids group (one of hopes domain is sexuality and crushes. so its like they had hopes for jake) and it ended horribly. and horuss was often told off by meulin to keep a facade of smiles and politeness (voiding him even FURTHER). or whatever i dont remember much.

and yknow tumblr is like. why the hell does everyone think this site is dead? its cause twitter got most of the userbase when the porn ban happened. then BAM suddenly folks wanna get a piece of tumblr cause theyre all suffering under annoying billionaires (luxury is a domain of life, but can also be a source for doom).

as for 4chan. well ok im not familiar with 4chan but their vibes pretty similar to eridan so lets go with that.

twitter is a thief of heart because they always steal content from other sites (technically most sites do this) and its got a culture of being mean all the damn time even to earnest (heart) things. and i guess because of the short shelf life of tweets and trends, its impossible for most of its userbase to really make an identity? excpet for the influencers on there lol idk. so theres this lack of their aspect, which is a thing thieves go through and is something that causes them to always seek said aspect. still tentative!

tiktok is a bard of time because they invite destruction to time. they waste your time. they waste other peoples time. thats literally how its built. even its trends and culture make ME (personal opinion) go "why am i being subjected to this i dont care stop wasting my time". they dont last long either or at least dont stay relevant (to ME)

reddit. idk thats the place where smarty know it alls go. and yknow the challenge for seers is that they have to learn how to be wrong and EFFECTIVELY communicate with their teammates (kankri failed on both accounts. kept shitting on porrim. pre retcon rose failed on the latter because yknow alcoholism. retcon rose eeeeeh didnt really have a choice in improving herself on her own cause vriska did it for her but hey if it works it works i guess). if you make reddit into a person, seer feels like an appropriate class. also i picked rage for them because rage = truth. also lots of trolls on there, both in provoking rage through silly funnies, real life stories, real life but Insane stories, or legit fucked up stuff.

instagram is the maid of space because idk its vibes make me think porrim would like it. tentative idk much about it. all i know is that its very prospit-y because it requires the user to have a looot of grit to maintain their acc because of their shitty "post regularly" algorithm. at least from what i remember.

deviantart is heir of void because they are like equius. i think you get it. horses. sweat.

youtube is a knight of light because its culture revolves around its content creators! and yknow ccs gotta put up a front to entertain ya. its light because of its content! they literally need and breathe your attention. sometimes has educational stuff (knowledge) sometimes is just shitposts (attention) sometimes its really cool impressive stuff like speedrunning and gaming (victory/luck) sometimes its just funny challenges (success over goals). so putting all this together and makin a person out of it its like oh! theyre going to be sooooooo dysfunctional

anyway lots of this is still not finalized but feel free to do what ya want! socialstuck is free to share and im always glad to find folks makin stuff about it :]

#homestuck #calhanxtalks #socialstuck #tumblr #twitter #reddit #ok i dont think i wanna list down all the goddamn social sites fuck that #classpects

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epiphlyte · 1 year

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aaugh i never thought i would procrastinate so hard on posting here but whaddaya know this has been sitting in my drafts for days.. mostly because school has started up again for me and im too tired in the evenings to write out my thoughts on things SJKKHJ

anyways, ive been feeling extremely nostalgic recently, so as a bit of a warmup-gone-out-of-control here are the fake (well, backup) prophecy dragonets! remember this reveal absolutely shocking me reading the books as a kid. their dynamic is wacky.

an in depth explanation of their designs under the cut!

something i initially didnt like, but now think is a striking visual, is the fact that their designs really don’t go together - especially compared to the actual prophecy dragonets. was puzzling over this for ages, trying to figure out how to make them more cohesive, but eventually just decided to leave it. i think it fits since they really dont get along lol.

the problem with making starflight (check previous posts/tags) purplish is that now fatespeaker has to be a more saturated purple to distinguish the two - she additionally has faint teardrop scales by her eyes to add some spice to her design. i think canon should give nightwings more unique silver scale patterns as well, like fatespeaker's "bracelets" (sadly not included here)!

i want to eventually revisit flames scar, it didnt really come out how i wanted it to. other than that, i like his colours and his pose! you might notice that as i recall how to draw dragons again ive slowly been working on my poses and expressions, making them more dynamic.

seawings are one of my favourite tribes to draw so i really liked designing squid, although he hasn’t really made that much of an impression on me. i should eventually make a palette tracker of all the colours for the tribes, to make them more unified? or alternatively, focus more on the shapes and attributes of each one. i like making seawings squishy and frilly, like some sea animals!

viper is probably my favourite design out of this batch! i really like her colours, although they border more on the palette id use for ocs - eg. is she recognizable as a canon character? i do like her pose though!

and finally ochre - i seriously can’t remember any of this guys dialogue. with this though i did manage to nail down my mudwing designs, varying horns and tusks. maybe i’ll draw clay’s sibs next?? no one knows, not even i.. but i am currently in a character designing mood!

#wof #wings of fire #the false dragonets #fatespeaker #flame #squid #viper #ochre #my designs #long time no see!#can't promise that i'll post more frequently but here's to trying

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weebsinstash · 10 months

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Im not gonna say puerto ricans don't say tio to mean guy bc maybe they do (I've personally never heard it. Honestly even meaning uncle it's rare in PR usually I hear titi/tito for aunt/uncle) but tio (meaning guy) is specifically such a spaniard thing to say, honestly when we mock the spanish we do it saying tio.

Honestly the fact I even know that is because I read it secondhand on tumblr somewhere💀 or I mean, I've heard tio meaning uncle before (unless i was earblind lmao), but I had no idea it also meant dude until, you know. Recently.

bruh I bet Miles learned that in Spanish class at school, I think I remember seeing a post somewhere where they said "maybe miles wouldn't have a b in Spanish if he wasn't doing Spain Spanish in school and Puerto Rican Spanish at home" or something to that effect, idk, unless they're teaching Mexican Spanish at his school and Miles is just genuinely struggling so hard he pulled from a third form of Spanish he ain't even formally learning 😂

Gotta admit, Miles teaching Reader horrible Spanish/Spanglish would be a cute sorta thing to get under Miguel's skin, and I actually did, uh, write this a while back for funsies lol (although I keep forgetting to use those recommended translator sites so, using Google translate I know will set me on the wrong path lmao)

Reader be like "oh Miguel hates Spanglish? Let me tease the fuck out of this man 👏" but like this is one of those drafts that goes absolutely nowhere lmao, it's some dialogue and then Reader saying something to Jess that he actually wasn't supposed to hear and then done haha

I just. I like didn't even finish one Spanish class ok, I had a part of a Spanish class in middle school and obviously im, 26 now, aging 😩 Miguel could be speaking Spanish talking about leaving me in the bottom of a ravine to die of starvation and as long as he's saying it A Tone I'd be like "o-ok then, whatever you say 😳 i dont know what youre saying but you sound sexy saying it"

I'm just kind of. I'm weird because I can be extremely shy but once I'm comfortable or at least drunk or high or something I can be a huge teasing agitating shit disturber and I keep thinking of Reader just being INAPPROPRIATE with this man

Reader, after 3 glasses down at Spidey Margherita night, looking at Miguel from across the room: look at Miguel over there, just, being gorgeous. Fuck him. His tits are bigger than mine, his ass is fatter than mine, and his waist is smaller than mine. What the fuck. Who let him get away with that. He's lucky this isn't one of the universes where I can get HIM pregnant

Jess, the unfortunate soul who gets to make sure you get home: Girl, you know he can hear you right? Super hearing, genetically spliced, remember?

Reader: bulllllshit, it isn't THAT good, we're so far away, and it's loud in here. Look, I'll prove it. Hey Miguel, you want me to suck that dick?

VIOLENT CHOKING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, GLASS SHATTERING, DRINK DROPPED ON FLOOR. Miguel O'Hara found dead in Miami as he looks immediately at you with the most.... girl he doesn't even know how to react right now! He's embarrassed, he's shocked, he's... aroused??? Jess is giving you the most "oh my god you did not just say that" look as you're chugging the rest of your drink and exiting stage right because ohhhhhh my god you can never look him in the eyes ever again (but he'll remember this and seek you out later, don't worry 😉)

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tokyokookmin · 1 year

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MY FAVOURITE JIKOOK VOCALS

I'd like to grab a chance when my new love, Letter is out. This a post dedicated to all of my favourite jikook vocals be it on or off stage. This post will highlight their "two shades of tender in a tug of war". Please be prepared to reminisce about the old jikookery days. Don't say I didn't warn you! Let's get it~~

ALSO! I am not ranking the vocals. What song comes up to my mind first grabs the top spot.

LETTER FT. JUNGKOOK

There's no official MV for this lovely song and won't likely have one as it is meant to be a hidden track. Just putting this lovely cover by Elisssa here. Check it out!

youtube

MY UNIVERSE

Like the tweet says, their raw vocals are absolutely beautiful. Their voices hits different, you know? 😭❤️

RUN

Yes, you're hearing it right, it's not that run bts song, but the hyhh era song. My forever favourite song, run. A song that makes me so energetic whenever I feel down. It enlightens me so much. For jikook? Good lord save me! They are wild 😂.

1. Seoul Final 2019

Psst, you saw this coming, didn't you?

Yes yes, you're still hearing me rambling about my favourite moment of 2019 (I say this "favourite moment" thing for everything 😭 I just can't choose!!)

2. BTS HONG KONG 190321

This moment is so underrated. I'll be sure to create a post just for this day and song. Highlighting all the pictures.

STAY GOLD

A beautifully written song by bangtan. Soulful lyrics and heartwarming meaning.

1. BTS STAY GOLD CDTV LIVE

Stay gold outro has got to be one of my favs. Just jikook staring at each other while ending the song. Pure comfort.

2. BTS STAY GOLD LIVE

BAD DECISIONS

A super cool and hip song. Dedicated to the fans. JM's and JK's voice blend in so nicely!

FOR YOUTH

A song which never fails to capture the feelings in my heart. Forever fav. An intimate song released before the hiatus, it depicted our journey together of both army and BTS.

1. BTS FOR YOUTH LIVE COMEBACK

2. BTS FOR YOUTH KBS LIVE COMEBACK

youtube

3. BTS FOR YOUTH TMA MUSIC AWARDS

WHO

(LAUV, FT JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK FROM BTS)

"Feeling hypnotized by the words that you say"🎶

A collaboration between Lauv and JIKOOK.

THE TRUTH UNTOLD

TTU is a song that carries a lot of emotions and it's very well executed by BTS. The vocal line surely knows how to change their mood during songs and I applaud them for their professionalism. Ok okay, but I'm still not gonna deny that jk cracked up when Jin didn't hit his note well 😭💜 (my JINKOOK heart)

Do you remember the time where they changed the lyrics from "and I still want you" to "But I still want you" while facing eachother, still not breaking their locked gazes when the lights went out?

SEOUL FINAL 2019

I lost track of the source, if anyone of you knows where it's from, please let me know! For now, enjoy their harmonious vocals!

WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT.2

Nothing to say. Just embrace their vocals.

LIGHTS

Something about this song makes me feel it's meant for jikook. I'm not saying the lyrics but their body language here is......

RUN BTS

A MASTERPIECE.

HONNE'S "YOU COME TO ME"

Jikook's cover, ya know?

Happy 7 years to this cover~

FILM OUT

I briefly started blogging on this platform around this era. Film out contains a lot of emotions. I love the beat.

BTS SOWOZOO

2. BTS CDTV LIVE

This post was long due and it took me a long time to get all the materials. My drafts got deleted and I got upset. That's why it took a while to be redone, lol. Anyways, please enjoy and support this post since it took a really long time to get it back on track. ENJOYYY~

Sincerely, tokyokookmin.

#Youtube #jikook #koomin #kookminers #kookmin #jkkrs #jkk #mingguk #minkook #jimin bts #jungkook bts #JJK #PJM #JM #JK #jungkook jimin #bts park jimin #bts jeon jungkook

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hamelinsnightmare · 1 year

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hello! i'd like to start a stimboard blog, but i have not a clue where to find resources/how to format/etc. do you have any tips/resources on how to start a stimboard blog? itd be appreciated, thank you in advance <3

how to make stim blog & stims: informal guide by hammy

1- its best to use desktop instead of mobile tumblr. while you can technically do it on mobile, i wouldnt recommend it because mobile tumblr breaks format often.

2- when making your own gifs, it is recommended to make your gifs in a 1:1 ratio format, so basically a square (100x100 ratio).

3- if you are using other peoples gifs, always remember to keep track of whose gifs you are using and properly credit to the best of your ability. i usually start my posts in my drafts and then use my likes to keep track of what gifs i use, but you can also save drafts with them and stuff to not lose them. link to the direct post, do not just @ the blog, thats the best way to credit but as long as you make a conscious effort to credit its not a big deal

4- format wise its up to you man its your blog and you get to do what you want, but i will say that when crediting the way i do with emojis or Xs or whatnot, it is better to have a space between each item so that on tumblr mobile it doesnt merge the links or break the credits

(good: x x x / x x x , bad: xxx / xxx)

5- tags, how you handle requests, dni, etc are all up to you, whatever works best for you. but please keep in mind that you should probably tag triggers if making any sensitive content or marking it with tumblr's new mature content labels and stuff, though trigger tagging might be better bc the content labels tumblr has might hide your post from people who unknowingly have the "do not show posts" enabled

6- ezgif dot com is your friend. i dont have photoshop or anything so i basically live off of it lol. btw, might want to have an adblocker for it though since some of the ads can take up too much space

7- ?????? i think thats it, im pretty tired ngl

I do appreciate you coming to me and asking about it, it means I must be doing something right /lh

EDIT: I almost forgot! tumblr does weird shit to gifs on here so if you are using someone elses gifs, how to download them properly: right click + open image in new tab, the end of the url will be ".gifv", get rid of the v in the url (".gif") and then press enter to refresh the page. THEN you save that image. otherwise it will be in garbage webp unusable shit

#robotmaggot #asks

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nijigay · 9 months

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hiiii :3 I noticed ur one (of a few) ppl who ships boniji on tumblr, and I wanna know if you know any accounts/artists who ships them so I could follow them to satiate my boniji fixation >.< Also, some bocchi x nijika questions I wanna personally ask: what songs do you recommend that reminds you of them? Also, what are some boniji fanfics you recommend/like? I probably already read most of their fics but I wanna know what others like. Lastly, ur personal boniji headcanons if you don't mind sharing... 👉👈

I only ask blogs rarely cuz I'm shy so no need to answer immediately...

I'm just brainrotting over boniji so much! im so normal about them (◔‿◔)

AWAWAWA i love boniji like so much like too much like its become my main personality trait!

but youre right!!! it feels like boniji fans are mostly japan natives and there dont seem to be many english speaking boniji fans! ohhh i wish there was more of a following! imagine a boniji zine in the west! i would pay money to get involved with that

im kind of embarrassed about shoving my ships in ppls faces all the time and this might get long and its just me like rambling about my OTP so like .. gona put it under a read more lol. seriously this post is like almost 2k words long thats longer than my average fanfic chapter

i hate to be a shill but im going to be a shill for my fic recommendations:

ive been working on a lowkey corny boniji hanahaki fic on AO3 and some other oneshots, so maybe you would be willing to check my own stuff out?? (if u want .-. im really amateur with this stuff despite being an art student lol) its been on hiatus for like half a year but im just adhd af and keep restarting. im still working on it frequently tho and im secretly hoping to start updating on a consistent basis soon. but i also liked fics like "Midnight and Daydreams" and "Bubblegum Detergent" and "A Sellout Night" and "Just Enough to be Enough" and "A Kiss is Not A Cure". MANNN i remember that last one fucked me up bad when it was posted. it was only the second ever dedicated boniji fic and like I LOVE angst but with how small the sample size of fics was at the time it was like AUFHAUIJKADGF. all those fics are super super good though! i also love the third one, i love the trans bocchi HC personally

umm as far songs songs tho, i guess the ones i associate with boniji most are:

"veil" by keina suda, i remember drafting some animatic for an angsty AU of Hitori living on post-Kessoku

"STEP&CLAP" by yoshino aoyama (aka yoppi aka bocchis VA <3), i think yoppi making the song speaks for itself but its a rly cute song and i love thinking of Hitori and Nijika like tap dancing to it?? check out the rest of yoppi's debut album too!! her voice is so pretty and i was so happy finding out that there are 11 songs with her voice, instead of the 1 from the anime

idk why but i also think of them a lot when listening to PMMM's ost by yuki kaijuri, like "desiderium" and "not yet" and "mada dame yo"? these r kinda a stretch though but idk!!

i also like compiling music that reminds me of them into spotify playlists, if youd like some inspiration for your own! this one and also this angstier one

i have a lot of boniji headcanons but i feel like its hard for me to like list them all in one spot because they usually come to me with context during relevant conversations?? but ill list whatever i can think of!:

this ones not necessarily boniji but i was thinking about it like an hour ago, but i really like the idea of Seika being a huge boniji supporter. like in the source material she already finds Bocchi really cute, so I get the impression she would really like to be an older sister figure for Bocchi (and probably gets jealous of Kikuri for holding that spot in Bocchi's life lol), and so Nijika being a potential love interest for Bocchi would make Seika double down hard on supporting boniji. she'd probably be the one who brings Bocchi up to Nijika more than Nijika would bring her up to Seika?? i also like to imagine that for Seika she has a similar complex to Yoyoko. but instead of "Bocchi is stealing my spot as Hiroi's younger sister figure," it would be "Kikuri is stealing my spot as Bocchi's older sister figure" LOL . if that makes any sense at all

this ones actually taken from a japanese twitter user, but they moved on from boniji after the anime ended. but they had some headcanons that REALLY stuck with me. my favorite was the idea that Bocchi and Nijika both have inferiority complexes with one another. iirc their (translated) words were along the lines of "Bocchi thinks of Nijika as a pure, comforting light in her life, one that could be muddied if Bocchi got involved with her. On the other hand, Nijika thinks of Bocchi as a reliable hero who outshines an ordinary girl like her." i just REALLY like it. it also reminds me of this conversation that Yoppi and Suzushiro had on the BTR podcast, about Bocchi and Nijika's first meeting! like nijika literally brought light into Bocchi's life awdsfsgdhgfjh

actually that same user above also made a tweet that is the reason why i associate Keina Suda's "veil" with boniji! they made a tweet about an AU idea, where, in the event that Nijika would ever pass away, Seika would give Bocchi her ribbon, which Hitori would wear from that point onwards as she continues to play music to honor Nijika's memory. they also suggested that in the opposite event of Hitori passing away, Nijika would possibly do something very rash out of despair but thats dark hahaha!!!!

i kinda think this goes without saying and i think its actually a fairly common HC for BTR characters in general, but I can definitely see Bocchi being trans

I like to imagine that shortly after Volume 2, Bocchi and Nijika would probably have another conversation

eventually, i'm sure if Bocchi and Nijika pursued a relationship that they'd eventually move in together (or like into the same room? if Kessoku Band had a sharehouse?), and since both Bocchi and Nijika tend to be minimalistic with their room decor, their shared room would again become filled with a ton of Ryo's clothes and items and instruments, like how Nijika's room at Seika's apartment is

i think they'd both end up being really touchy with each other, especially when nervous? Bocchi kind of already does this when she's in new places (eg bringing Kita to Shimokitazawa, or going to FOLT for the first time and being dragged by Nijika), but I think it would grow to them finding comfort with each other?

idk if this is necessarily a HC but i really like how Bocchi and Nijika emotionally support each other, even in source. Nijika is shown to have a really good read on Bocchi (to the point of Bocchi worrying that Nijika is actually a psychic), knowing Bocchi's common thought processes, and picking up from Bocchi's mother during her first visit to Kanazawa that karaage chicken can bring Bocchi out of her anxiety attacks, and seems to be the only character who actually comments on Bocchi's growth as an individual and actively tries to facilitate it; but she also doesn't lovebomb Bocchi with praise, striking what seems to be a good balance for pushing Bocchi but also being a reliable confidant for her too.

one of my favorite details from the anime that i really feel doesnt get talked about as often as it should is when Nijika finally notices that Bocchi is guitarhero! she definitely wasn't the first to notice (Seika noticed first, but it seemed like Seika only knew about guitarhero via Nijika. When she notices that Bocchi's playing sounds familiar, her thought process immediately goes towards wondering why Nijika isn't noticing, and then she just tells them to get back to work) but she was the first one that Bocchi admits it too. but my favorite part is how Bocchi says that she wanted to change and grow as a person before telling them the truth, and she says that she especially wanted to grow before Nijika in particular found out! its just really cute, i love how Bocchi was worried about disappointing Nijika. and i like how, after some growth, Bocchi's dream turns from "becoming popular" to "making Kessoku Band the best band it can be" which is like almost basically the same as Nijika's dream! and so it's really nice when Bocchi doubles down on that goal by not remotely entertaining the idea of leaving Kessoku Band, even when goaded by promises of popularity.

last headcanon! because i ran out of thoughts and just came up with this on the spot. but i also like the idea that as the years go on, Bocchi and Nijika in particular may kind of become more similar in personality. i mean, they'd definitely still be distinctly them, but i like to think that Bocchi would eventually start picking up more optimistic habits and stop grimacing all the time, while Nijika would eventually become a little more lax and not reflexively try to dismiss her own negative feelings via looking at the silver lining. i thought of that when Nijika kinda dismisses her family dynamics with her mother's passing and her father's neglect after Kessoku's first real performance, as well as Nijika seeming to admit after inhaling Bocchi Dust(?) during her and Kita's Kanazawa visit that some of her optimism is performative

ok another one Nijika seems to have her art skills commented on sometimes so i like to imagine she has doodles of Bocchi in her sketchbook (alongside everyone else but mostly Bocchi). like think of like Miles Morales drawing a ton of Gwen Stacy like that kinda deal but with Nijika drawing Bocchi. and like Bocchi finds the sketchbook and Nijika freaks out and Bocchi actually doesnt look bc she doesnt want to do something wrong. but then Ryo or Kita take it and look instead and then show Bocchi and Bocchi melts into a flustered puddle

wowwow this got long! sorry! i really mean it when im like OBSESSED with these two like i think ive thought about them on a daily basis ever since the episode aired where Nijika bought Bocchi a cola. isnt that cute, too!? she picked up on Bocchi's favorite soda so quickly! and her buying a box of energy drinks for Bocchi despite not understanding why at all! girlfriend behavior

i really really want to make more boniji content, i'd like to be more active in posting my fics and drabbles and drawings, someday soon. right now most of my boniji content is just illegible sketches in my sketchbook lol

also thank u so much for like sending this ask im like BEGGING internally all the time to be given the chance to talk about them! i dont think theyre like a rarepair or anything, especially with them seeming to be like the second most popular BTR ship in japan, but i do think that not many people talk to them in the english side of the fandom! theyre super super cute and have really good chemistry.

this entire post is probably like a total carwreck i hope its even readable

ill also use this post as an excuse to post my own HCs for a Kessoku Band's relations chart. it's a bonus for reading this far. i'm sorry for draining 22 HP from you with this brain dump

#can i tag this #IM TAGGING THIS #boniji #bocchi the rock!#headcanons #hitori gotoh #nijika ijichi #hitori gotou #uhh what else would i tag. ...#my fanfic is in this #i really. really really REAAAAALLY like boniji #bocchi wants a cosplayer gf and the next day nijika starts fuckign cosplaying #what a coincidence #crazy right #long post #under the read more

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brybryby · 1 year

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VERY LONG POST IM SORRY. DONT FEEL OBLIGED TO READ

HI. Alrighty, this has been on my mind for a while (ever since promotional content for Trials started being released).

I have a TON of analyses in the drafts, but I want to make this post before I release them for public viewing.

I know that I like to make goofy, light-hearted little fan animations and fan art of Outlast, but I think I need to start changing how I navigate through the content. After spending so much of my time deep diving and writing up these analyses, my eyes have been opened to just how much the franchise revolves around fucked up historical events. I feel that some of the stuff I've posted is tone deaf, or at least the way I posted about it is. And I think—for the most part—there's an understanding that I don't intend to be harmful, but I fear that the way I go about it **is**. (And obviously, action takes precedence over intent.)

For contextualization, when I initially got into Outlast at the age of 12, I was enthralled by the horror aesthetics and found a lot of the angsty gore to be cathartic. I felt so “taboo” and “scandalous” lol (especially as a developing child trying to understand myself amidst my puberty stage). I was young and—for lack of a better word—braindead in how I navigated the media. I was naive, mindless, ignorant, etc etc… Now that I have a deeper understanding of the narratives and historical implications/influences, I need to do better in how I interact with the franchise.

What am I getting at?

Pretty much, I'm working on being more careful with how I interact with the media. At the same time, I want the analyses that I post to be educational. And most importantly, please message me if I ever say some bullshit. Seriously. All I ever want to do with my life is to be a positive impact. I genuinely get upset if I cause harm to someone else. (One time I literally cried at a high school football game as a freshman because I thought I hurt someone else's feelings. It turned out they were faking it lmao. Then they started feeling bad and then that made me feel bad for crying and yea yea).

Seriously though. I know that my posts can get public outreach, and anything that has public outreach can be influential and have a good or bad impact. So please let me know if I do or say anything harmful or ignorant. I won't be offended. I don’t want to spread harmful stuff. There are many instances in my life where people sit me down to have meaningful conversations about shit I've said or done and how I can improve myself.

That said, I'll be posting more analyses and making my own syntheses of historical events. My next analysis post will be about Waylon's Asian-coding (specifically Korean-coding), how Trials actually supports this (using themes of US immigration), and why it is apparent to many Asian fans (including me, hehe).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's pretty much it. But if you wanna stick around a bit further, I'll tell you my (excruciatingly long) story about how I got into Outlast :) along with how much it has invaded my brain and life :') and maybe get a little ~personal~ hehe

STORYTIME:

So, the game came out in 2013. Nearly 10 years ago. I was 12 at the time of its release. Let me tell you…this game was a HUGE impact in the horror community. HOLY. SHIT. It changed the way I looked at lockers and beds. I remember it being critically acclaimed (and rightfully so). It may have not been the most technical video game, but it certainly was a piece of art.

I remember commercials being shown everywhere. The trailer of beta Miles Upshur running and parkouring through Mount Massive while being chased by the tiny beta model of Chris Walker will forever be canonized as part my childhood. I remember specifically heading to the bathroom from my living room and my dad interrupting me to say “Hey! Check this out!” and then proceeding to play the trailer for my 12-year-old eyes. I was scared shitless.

Couple weeks later, Conan O'Brien featured Outlast in one of his segments of “Clueless Gamer” (yeah, my family and I used to watch Conan lol). I was very familiar with Slender and Amnesia, which were the 2 other games featured in this Halloween special, but this was the first time I REALLY got to check out Outlast.

Now, let me preface that during this time, internet culture was very interesting and even less safe than it is today. I had a ton of bad experiences on the internet during my childhood. But oddly (and embarrassingly), the emo/scene/horror/creepypasta culture was what brought me comfort amongst a sea of awful things you could find on the internet. It was probably unhealthy for my developing brain, but I indulged in a lot of angst that was presented with heavy gore and violence. And to be honest, looking at this kind of stuff at a young age helped me process a lot of my own personal shit that I experienced outside of the internet realm. (To be clear, I don't endorse this type of violence, and I don't endorse exploring the internet in the same way I did as a child—it was probably very unhealthy and I think it caused some early development issues.)

But nothing—and I mean NOTHING—scratched that itch more than the way Outlast did. I watched the finger cutting scene in Conan's “Clueless Gamer” and was fucking mortified. I was scared of the dark for weeks. But I remember spending that night in my bedroom looking at more Outlast content to get that cathartic fix to fill my emotional hole of…I don't know…morbid curiosity? I definitely felt shame at the time. I don't know. In recent years, I've been on this journey to process stuff I experienced during my childhood and I struggle to go about my middle-school/junior-high stage because…I don't know…puberty? Access to the internet? I once got bullied by a forum of adult men for posting fan art LMAO. I was 12 years old—I forgot what the fan art even was. ANYWAYS, yea. That was only one instance of my conglomeration of internet experiences. (Like many other peeps, I had to hide my gender & racial identity to preserve my sanity). Indulging in gore art was therapeutic and helped me release negative emotions in a non-harmful way. Horror-genre communities online have been mostly friendly and welcoming towards me. That's probably why I fell in love with Outlast as an art rather than a video game.

I wasn't in the fandom straight off the bat. I had other hyper fixations at times but I navigated through these other fixations with this personal “Outlast standard” where the art and fiction I consumed needed to be horror-themed, gorey, or angsty. And Outlast isn't solely to blame. I was into gore and angst before the game came out. It just so happened that it came out at such a perfect time in my life. (Horror made my queer self feel accepted)

This whole “Outlast standard” stuck with me throughout high school. Uh… this next bit of information may get a little personal. During my sophomore year, someone really important in my life passed away. Then I had this life-impacting thing happen during my junior year that changed how I perceived things forever (lol, this sounds so dramatic). I turned to art to help me process and yada yada… but y'know what really helped? You know what I turned to when I needed to “scratch the itch”? (I bet you'll never guess)

I finally considered myself a part of the Outlast fandom in 2018-2019. I was a high school junior/senior and I posted the Outlast-Outkast animation that got retweeted by Red Barrels. Had a lot of fun in the fandom during that time and it helped get my mind off of things. Also, I loved the fact that Waylon graduated from Berkeley. I was applying to colleges during this time and it made me romanticize Berkeley, lol. I ended up getting accepted. Had an awesome time. I recently graduated and got my Bachelor's. I'm very privileged and gracious for my experience. I spent a lot of grueling time and energy dedicated towards my education.

During my college years, a lot of the unprocessed shit from my childhood started resurfacing and it was becoming hard to navigate through life. I became really disconnected with people who were close to me. Art started to fall out of my life. Stuff happened. Got in touch with psychiatrists thanks to my college's free health services. I don't mean to downplay or normalize what happened, but I'll bring up that many college students deal with mental illness and depression (and this could be attributed to many things: moving away from family, student-life, financial pressure, pressure to secure jobs/internships, living alone for the first time, maturing into an adult, etc. etc.).

But I remember sitting alone in my studio apartment one weekend and started surfing Tumblr. I came across new Outlast fan art and it sparked my hyper fixation all over again. I re-read the comics and—OKAY THIS IS GONNA SOUND FUCKING RIDICULOUS—but I started jogging because Miles went on jogs LMAOOAKJDGHJAHKGFL. I finally picked up the pencil and started drawing again (after like…months) and drew Miles and Waylon flipping off Murkoff. And THAT was when I realized what the narratives of Outlast were actually about—FUCKIN' CAPITALISM AAUGGGHHH. MY LITTLE POOPOO BRAIN AT AGE 12 NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT. AND NOW THAT I'M AN ADULT—NOW THAT I CAN BLATANTLY SEE MYSELF AND MY PEERS AS VICTIMS/PRODUCTS OF CAPITALISM—CAN FINALLY FIND SO MUCH VALUE AND MEANING IN THIS GAME HHHRHRJGHKSDKFGLAJKDG SAY W H A T IM GONNA *explodes*

Then a year later, I started drawing more and more again. Trials' promotional marketing was becoming more prominent. I started posting my fan art on Tumblr. Then I made the fanimation (thank you Mr. Baichoo, you're so awesome, I will forever be a fan of yours) and now here I am. Still fixated on this silly little game for nearly 10 years. WHEW.

I FEEL LIKE A SHRIMP CHIP. Anyways, thanks. I much needed to get this off my chest.

Also, hey! Just wanted to say thanks for the friendly and welcoming interactions in this space. It feels so much safer and more comforting than previous internet experiences I've had. Since 2013, the fandom has evolved a lot. In my opinion, it has evolved for the better. The resurgence of new fans bring such refreshing perspectives and fields of knowledge that haven't been influenced by some of the harmful internet culture that I grew up in. So truly, many thanks to y'all for making the fandom space a nicer place (especially for such a heavy game). Also, what the heck, everyone in the fandom is seriously so talented and artistic

Uh… fan art time? (old stuff/sketches I haven’t posted)

But seriously if you got this far, thank you

#outlast video essay #brybryby text

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gi-zxt · 2 years

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Hi hi, my college is killing me too, end of semester is always hard, stay strong!

Recently I triple crowned my Childe, he is my strongest along with Xiao, if you're up to it would you write his sagau reaction? I pampered him a little too much I think lol I dont regret it one bit he is strong jesus

Thanks! Take care, remember to take breaks from studying

I have yet to triple crown a character actually, haha!

(If you saw me post this prematurely no ya didnt I was tryna save it to drafts)

Xiao had always been strong. Always had to be, with how he was... raised? Yeah, raised.

But with you... you made his strength grow to heights he wouldn't have ever imagined.

One day, he felt a little pinch in his ear. He wined and touched the spot, only to find a bit of your blood--gold and silver and star-blessed--staining his fingers. It came with a small piercing, one of a crown, he later saw.

He felt it again soon thereafter, and wasn't shocked when he felt his power grow even more.

Being put on a team with the 11th Harbinger was not pleasant. The ginger constantly pestered him to spar, the Yaksha eventually snapping at him and showing him his superior strength.

Childe shut up for a few days.

When he felt that same prick, however, he asked Xiao what it was. Why was your blood on his fingers? You weren't even in Teyvat!

Xiao sighed very heavily and explained.

They were called crowns, and they happened when you decided to peak one of his three skills. Xiao, as far as any of the pulled ones knew, was the only one with two of the piercings, and even then he didn't make a show of them. Humble as ever, he was.

Oh how Childe wanted those damn crowns.

He worked his ass off to crit harder and harder, even beating out Xiao on occasion with his Vaporize 100k open-world hits. Xiao countered immediately by plunging 170k.

When they were both triple-crowned, however, they were at each other's throats, constantly trying to out-damage the other, but they actually helped each others damages without even noticing it.

They would definitely be competitive!

#zxt-p #sagau #sagau x reader #yet theyre self awarei was just lazy #zxt-ans-ask

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eomma-jpeg · 9 months

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thanks @veilder I really do like doing these lil games even though I have some unfinished ones in my drafts 💀

I have some extra thoughts if anyone cares if I ramble

I did write quite a bit on wattpad back in the day. My account is still up and kicking but my username there isn't the same anywhere else LOL so you might be able to find it ? I had a moderately successful fairy tail one-shot series and an unfinished doctor who self insert fic (i wrote these when I was 14 i want everyone to remember that lil fact.

I currently beta read for @noaafishfieldguide so I get alllll the juicy sea foam drama >:) (its literally so fun i love doing it T-T. I don't have any beta readers except that squid does get to read 'in the meadow' early to help me make sure it actually is good LOLOL

Every fic i write is self indulgent, isn't that like.... the point of a fanfiction ???

So I am a multifandom writer, but as of late I've been stuck in trigun (the Fandom that got me to start writing again). But I technically started writing for royai just before then because Fullmetal is one of my all time favorites and royai is so special and perfect to meeeeee (I also wrote a kacchako fiction which is technically my most popular by kudos??? Which is wild?)

I cannot tell you how closely i watch my phone after a chapter of itm is posted. I just like, stare longingly and wait for comments to roll in T-T

YALL I NEVER IN 1000 YEARS WOULD HAVE EXPECTED PEOPLE TO DRAW ART FOR MY FICS. I NEVER FELT THAT ANYONE WOULD CARE THAT MUCH BUT @noaafishfieldguide and @mad-aims HAVE BOTH DONE ART AND I DO CRY STILL ABOUT IT

I have.... an entire kacchako fantasy bnha fic outline just like sitting in my drive. I've written some chunks of it, but it was mostly self indulgence and there's like a make-out scene in there... I also have a one bed royai thats just sitting, waiting to be published bc I dont know if its good LOLOL

Listen, I know its silly and its my current fic, but I really adore writing in the meadow and I'm so happy that the people reading it do read it, but I need more to join bc I am converting people to the millyons agenda.... thats just my whole goal so please get in on this

Ty for indulging me and here are the people I tag: @noaafishfieldguide, @firewoodfigs, @fullmetalscullyy, @fullcry, @eilwen

Here's the blank copy!

#ty again veil and i did read ur notes and i am excited for that thing 👀👀👀👀👀👀#asks #trigun #bnha #fma #fic #I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE RAMBLE ABOUT THE THOUGHTS IN THEIR HEAD

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christianbalelover · 10 months

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I'm back :)

(sorry if this is worded weirdly and doesnt make lots of sense, i'm kind of dizzy and nervous ) heyyy guys, so i literally left for like months and i dont know if anyone really noticed or something but i just wanna come here and give an update on my situation.

The reason i wasn't for all this time is cause i got kidnapped, it lasted for about a month and it was both me and my mom, i know this sounds fake and all but it like actually happen and even to this day i can't believe it happen.

The reason this even happen was cause i lived in a very very dangerous area and i even got warned to move out months prior but my parents decided to stay cause we had a really good house for a low price (i know it sounds like a lame excuse to stay, i thought so too but my mom insisted cause she said it was her dream home). It was thankfully only for ransom and even now i don't know how much said ransom was cause my dad never told me, i guess he didn't want me to worry but all that i know is that it was a lot.

It went better then i expected cause the kidnappers were surprisingly nice and gentle but that still doesn't excuse what they did but i'm happy i at least got lucky in that aspect, they fed us and gave us water but it was still a pretty small amount so we were really dehydrated and didn't feel well most of the time.

The day we got released was probably the best day of my life, i still feel like crying whenever i remember how it felt hugging my dad again after i thought i'd never see him again, or how everyone looked so happy to have us (me and my mom) back. I'm obviously not saying every single thing that happen as it was a very traumatic experience but also cause i don't want people i know to recognize me but what i'm saying is basically the summary of what happen, it was really rough and scary and there were so many times i though that this was the end for me but at the end i made it and i'm feeling better then ever, i haven't gotten therapy yet (still waiting for it, mom said she'll put me in therapy soon) so i still struggle with ptsd but over time its honestly gotten better and its way better then when i first got released cuz during that period it was so bad that every time i heard a slightly loud noise i panicked and thought i wanna get kidnapped again, yeah it was really rough but i always felt to scared to tell anyone cuz it felt embarrassing to tell people that, like i felt like they'd think i was weak yk?.

Its been a good amount of time since that happen now but i never came back to my account cause i wanted a break, but i finally felt ready to come out about it now. I honestly never thought i was important enough to even be a victim of something like this tbh so it was such a surprise for me, also something thats really crazy but like literally MINUTES before i got kidnapped i actually came here and i made a whole post saying i was scared cuz my parents werent safe (my grandma told me they were in trouble but i didn't get that she meant that my mom got taken and my stepdad was in trouble) but i never posted it cause my grandma interrupted me so i just saved it to drafts and like 5 minutes later while i was just sitting in my room waiting to get picked up, we heard someone coming up the stairs and then i got taken, i'm not gonna post it cause when i made that draft there was too much information on me and my family and where live and just allot of private stuff i can't post here but maybe I'll take a screenshot and like blur out something so you can see a little bit of it cause its just that crazy but just let me know if you want me to post it and don't be afraid to ask cause i really don't mind doing that and blurring the important stuff out.

Its crazy cuz if i had posted that, you guys wouldve probably known about my situation like days after it happen. This was super long and probably didn't make lots of sense lol sorry i'm just really nervous and don't really know what to say also i'm sorry if i said crazy to many times i js realized i like overused it.

I just wanna clarify that i'm doing better now and i also don't know if i'm gonna immediately gonna start posting again but i want abandon my account cuz i love this account so much so im gonna still stick with it. I love you guys so much and stay safe <333

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