#I CAN'T BELIEVE HE CALLED HIMSELF UGLY ON THE PODCAST | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dandymaximilian · 1 year

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Tbh, I genuinely love Warren as a character. Like, I enjoy the shitposts about him a lot, but I also want to wrap him up in a blanket and feed him a restaurant style meal, you know?

Imo, Warren is the puppet embodiment of a very specific type of autistic insecurity. He represents what many autistic people are terrified of being seen as.

He's the freak. The loser. The "insane person". Literally "the worm in your brain."

Proof:

He has no friends.

He has no job.

He has freaky eyes (rat eyes).

He is conventionally ugly, but calls himself handsome, despite clearly not believing it.

Has an "annoying" voice.

He acts tough (eagle persona) but is is noticably insecure.

He cries and whimpers when people make fun of him.

He's greasy, covered in ache and smells bad.

He can't read social cues or subtle hints whatsoever.

He can't read facial expressions, body language, or mood whatsoever.

He has no boundaries whatsoever.

He clings to people when they show him the slightest bit of approval.

He clings onto potential friends to the point of desperation.

He has no volume control.

He takes over social situations (podcast).

Has no cognitive or emotional empathy.

He sees people as pawns for his business schemes.

He is overly fixated on rules (OK STOP).

He thinks in black and white in terms of friendship (bad friends vs good friends).

He infodumps at people until they are uncomfortable and want to leave (podcast).

He has a strong sense of justice that he imposes on people. (standing up for Yellow).

He makes people uneasy with his very presence for "reasons that can't be pinpointed."

These personality traits and flaws make him an authentic portrayal of an outcast in society, imo. These aren't inherently even "bad" per say, but are considered to be by society.

These aren't universal nor are these all autistic traits, mind you. Regardless, he is more likely to face bullying/ableism because of them. Even from other autistic people who are considered to be outcasts too.

So as an autistic person, I can completely understand why Warren is hated by so many, especially if he reminds people of their worse selves, or of a toxic person they know/knew irl.

Yet I can understand why so many other people adore and love him, as well. After all, if someone has "a worm in their brain," then who's to say that they can't love it for what it is?

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #dhmis warren #warren the worm #warren the eagle #dhmis analysis #autistic headcanons #actually autistic #ramblings

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jimmymcgools · 2 years

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Thoughts on 6x12 ?? 😭😓

absolutely! i was blown away, and my chest *still* aches.

one quote i keep thinking about a lot after that episode is from an older podcast, i think one from s4. bob talks a bit about how kim and jimmy are a good couple because they really *see* themselves and each other.

he says something like, if you asked jimmy/kim what about themselves the other one was having an issue with, they could tell you, and they'd be right. they see when the other is hurt, even if they (maybe often?) don't act on it in the best/right way.

and it shows me how they're honouring the relationship that we can still see that here. like, kim sees through jimmy's awful front in that office. she's seen it before -- he's fidgeting like he fidgeted when he read chuck's letter, he's not letting her finish a sentence. he can barely look at her. he's trying so hard to act like he's not hurting in there and all it does is make the hurt even more obvious.

but what else can she do? lingering there, head out of frame, fingers fidgeting. she needs to save herself, she's gotta get out, no half measures, and what would happen if she tried to break the game and speak to jimmy? i can't imagine that'd be less ugly than letting him pretend he's winning.

i think she sees through the phone call facade, too -- this one shattering more, slipping more with his "i thought you might wanna... know i'm still alive..." and his gradually increasing "kim"s. i always feel like them each saying the other's name has a kind of power, so the amount of "kim"s on that call got me bad.

and then guess what? she does speak to jimmy at the end there. he hears it. she's breaking the game and his mask and it IS ugly, and it's what he wanted ("she asked about me?" look at this hopeful brokenhearted man) but it's not what he wanted, because it's just made him feel SO much utterly worse.

easier to tell himself that nobody out there care about him -- but this??

and after it all, they're still changing each other. they're both trapped until that phone call. kim won't even let herself pick an ice cream flavour or whether to use miracle whip or what tacky scene to do as a jigsaw. she'll blandly agree that it looks like rain or that the day was fun.

until jimmy asks her to say something, and she *does*. and that much more.

but to return to that poorly remembered bob quote -- what i love most is how this show makes it hard. the love is hidden in these masks on masks, buried beneath these people who are trying to pretend they don't hurt as much as they do.

but they both always see it, and they see through each other, and they see through themselves when it comes to each other, too. i believe so, anyway.

#wow this is such a narrow answer but it got so long #but i wanted to talk about the mcwexler of it!#asks #anon #better call saul #bcs spoilers #s6b spoilers

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golbrocklovely · 8 months

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idk if you’ve seen but kong pham just uploaded a podcast with snc

it was filmed months ago though i’m pretty sure because it seems like it was before colby did chemo?

anyway around 37 minutes in colby talks about how he had a break down and just cried about everything last year and it shocked me i can’t lie… i hope it made him feel better though

yeah it was filmed back in april right before colby went thru chemo. i was a bit confused as to why sam never mentioned kat and him breaking up, and now it makes sense since they didn't announce they broke up until may (even tho they had broken up back in march) lol

and yes, it was really shocking to hear about colby breaking down, but also at the same time…. it makes total sense. a lot of us on here have been saying for a long time that last year was a really rough time for colby. the later half of the year was just a shit storm for so many reasons towards him, he himself even said he wasn't feeling his best at the time, and it makes so much sense that he would have had a break down finally after years of holding everything in.

i might be making a controversial opinion here, but everyone hear me out before you jump down my throat: while snc both get hate for extremely dumb things, colby is the one that takes it the hardest, and also gets it the worse. sam, at the very least, seems like he doesn't let it bother him. i think bc so many ppl give him love and support, he's able to push the negativity away. but colby, whether he'll ever admit to it or not, can't do that - even with all the love he gets. he doesn't let things go as much as sam does.

and it makes total sense to me. colby wants everyone to like him. and i get that. i was the same way for a very long time. it's hard when someone starts to hate you for whatever reason. you want to prove them wrong, and you'll do anything to be in their good graces again, only to realize… did you ever even care that much in the first place. opinions affect colby on a deeper level bc he wants to be seen as a good person. and he is. but when you have other ppl shitting on you, for example, for tweeting out about international women's day or that your facial hair is ugly or literally judging you for every girl you put yourself near, and it's CONSTANT…. you're eventually gonna snap. tbh, i'm surprised colby hasn't completely removed himself from twitter and insta altogether just bc of the hate those sites have given him for the past couple years.

2020-21 were the worst times to be a fan, so i can ONLY IMAGINE how terrible it was for colby, who was getting the brute force of it. i remember the disgusting death threat he got. he left twitter for like over a week, and then never returned to that site the same. that's why the balcony tweets stopped. and then when he lost his journal, one of the only ways he's ever been able to express himself deeply, ppl cheered about it in the replies. and some of those ppl were fans of ppl he was friends with.

sam gets hate, sure. i won't deny that ever. but colby… it is truly unlike anything i've ever seen in all my years of being online. and i swear the ppl that send him mean shit, it's like they know it hurts him and revel in it. he gets called out for every fuck up, even if sam has done the same, bc ppl know he'll actually feel guilty and apologize for it. they want to see him break, i truly believe that.

#ask #personal #colby brock

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noszkass · 3 years

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garrison "grady" oliver knox jr.

thirty two. podcast host. amateur sleuth. casey deidrick.

grady: [looks deeply into your eyes; pats your knee, sympathetically.] grady: “i don’t care.”

content warnings: mentions child neglect, parental abandonment, missing parent, (suspected) death of a parent, alcoholism.

dominant traits. opinionated, surface level arrogant, judgmental, creative, sarcastic, invasive, blunt/crass, antisocial, stubborn, self-aware, unyielding, grudge-holding, mouthy (read as: "brutally honest"), insensitive, protective, intuitive, reactive, self-reliant, observant, adaptable, impulsive.

fictional parallels. connor welsh (htgawm); jess mariano (gilmore girls); jughead jones (riverdale); stiles stilinski (teen wolf); nancy drew (cw nd); veronica mars (vm).

○ his name is grady. no one calls him garrison, not anymore. not since his mother was around. i say around, and not alive, because she isn't dead. just missing. a town native who moved away when she was pregnant with him, but brought a lot of the darker parts of miriam's well with her. he was raised on unfinished stories and embellished half truths about the place his mother grew up in─the place he eventually called home at fourteen─and, ultimately, is probably responsible for his interest in all things unexplained. and his father, well... his father is around georgia, somewhere, he supposes. they haven't spoken for a while. believe it of not, a relationship with your son doesn't cure at the bottom of a bottle.

○ his life pretty much always baseline sucks and his attitude and demeanor mirrors that. which is fine since grads is the type of guy who makes more acquaintances than he does friends. and even more enemies than that. he will casually put his nose in your business because "that’s my job" and he makes no apologies for who he is.

○ when he was younger he wanted to be a journalist, a photographer, and novelist and you can tell. too curious for his own good and heavily believes in not only checking his sources, but questioning everything. he's not afraid to stand up for the things he believes in or for the people he finds deserving of it, and has very little issue or care to what what consequences these actions might breed. he also may or may not be a coffee addict.

the corner booth at the local diner; twilight zone background noise; the smell of coffee seeping from moist skin; sweeping honesty; not only is the truth out there, but it also probably sucks; ring around the rosie was about the black plague; anti-social social club; dry sarcasm over milkshakes; swear jar that has his name on it; the company misery loves; mean nerd aesthetic; late nights in the studio with great music and a constant opinion.

plot hooks.

○ his family. well, his mother's family. the people she left behind, whatever's left of them. possibly an aunt (preferably his mother's twin, who he had no idea existed, so imagine that shock) who took him in when she went missing at fourteen and any potential children she might have? because cousin relationships are great and no one has your back or will kick your ass quite like family. can't imagine them being well off, more like town trash and maybe this aunt was the best of them. ○ veronica mars needs clients. ACAB indeed, but sometimes people need solutions to problems that a corrupted small-town government isn't capable (or willing) to get them. what does that mean? for the low price of [insert negotiation here] this knox boy will go out of his way to find the answers you need. husband fucking the secretary? photos will hold up nicely in divorce court─not to mention i'm a ~fantastic photographer. you get the idea. sure, it's not the prettiest (or cleanest) job, but it's easier to make money off liars, thieves, and cheating spouses than you might realize. especially in a small town with such an ugly history. ○ the unlucky barista/cashier/counter girl. it'd be nice to have a little back-and-forth relationship with someone who might work for his aunt? i imagined [his aunt] owns a coffee shop or cafe (or something of the sort) and he's always in there helping himself to free coffee and snacks and likes to poke and prod this person when he's bored via asking a million intrusive questions or just being his curious, obnoxious self. taken by noor ♡ ○ co-hosts of the night shift. well, it's not the doomsday podcast, certainly not with their following, but like a lot of people who find their way to miriam's well, they share the same basic general interest (unsolved mysteries, serial killers/true crime, paranormal/ghost hunting, lore, extraterrestrial, etc.) except, grady also likes to use his platform to bitch and moan about other things that happen in town. some topics more pointed than others, and often about public officials he has no business putting on the air and his fellow casters probably hate him doing. no one likes a target on their back. ○ pizza buddy + longtime friend. someone (preferably someone he considers close/from when he first moved to mw) who will go with him to flying saucers at two am for "out of stock" garlic knots (and/or an employee he bribes with🍃for said knots 👀) because he's an actual human garbage disposal and he hates himself just enough to like the aesthetic and that entire plot sounds fucking awesome?? bonus points if they both used to work there when they were younger, and now this shit is habit/a bastard tradition at this point. ○ doomsday descendants. characters who are part of the families who have abduction histories that he can interview and broadcast on his podcast─also pick their brain about every little detail and absolutely get on their nerves in some way or another.

#halfmoonrp #ch: garrison knox #type: blurb #this is a mess

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zinthelost · 4 years

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Today had been a good day.

These days that means a day I feel like myself, like I'm human. I tell myself stories and I can think without ruminating on how wrong my life has become, all the mistakes I've made, everything I've lost.

I had that for most of the day. It was wonderful. I told myself stories and slid into my characters and felt real... peace. Not my peace really, a character's peace but I was able to live in it for a little while. Bliss.

But I've gotten ahead of things. I'm not explaining myself to the zero people that will read this.

Hello, my name is Zin, and in the last 2 years I have lost nearly everything, including myself.

A little more than 2 years ago, I admitted to myself that the absolutely wonderful girl I had been best friends with for 15+ years was everything I wanted. I started to plot a way to ask her out and later move to her state. Jobs, towns, I started looking at everything.

...Then my grandma started acting strangely. Her worries became intense fear and then paranoia. A woman in another state was plotting to steal my grandfather, had cursed her, could listen into her phone calls, and then she started to believe my cousin was trying to kill her.

When I went to my parents to discuss the ugly fact that grandma was experiencing dementia, I was told that they'd back whatever I decided needed done. They weren't concerned and found her belief that her niece was plotting her death funny. Everything was 100% on me.

So... I set aside my plans for love. Grandma needed me. I hunkered in for the long haul.

...Then a few months later my dad had a serious stroke. And I had to help with his therapy, missing massive amounts of work. But that was convenient, because the business was failing, and my hours were cut, and cut again, and cut more.

For 2 years I fought this nightmare of caring for my grandmother, my dad, my chronically ill mom, while adding Lyft to my work to try to keep eating. When the stress allowed me to eat at all.

I fell into a massive, crippling depression and sought out a therapist I knew. And all through it, my wonderful friend was always there. She was my lifeline. One of the only good things left in my life.

In September, I was feeling good. Dad was working on his therapy himself, my uncle was helping with my grandma, I was actually losing weight! I decided to go for it! You only live once.

I'd find a way, I'd save up, fly out, tell her everything and figure it out! I started on a Tuesday doing extra Lyft to make the money. Nothing would stop me!

That Friday, she died.

She died alone, of an illness that was never diagnosed, in a hotel, while I played Sims.

And now I'm lost.

But today was a good day. While usually my stories hurt cus they remind me of her (we wrote together) today they were heaven. I had so much to do, but it was okay. I was good. I had my stories back.

Depression is evil shit. It can grab you so fast. The slope is very very slippery.

I mentioned a crappy podcast to my (otherwise) great roommate. He took it as a mission to find me one. He loves true crime, but I can't do dark things anymore. I can't. But he loves it and no matter how many times I said, I didn't want dark he kept telling me about serial killer podcasts, and this one recorded in prison, and this other about cults, and it just kept going.

By the time he ran out of steam I was fighting not to shake. And then I broke down crying when he left for bed cus I saw her comics laying there.

So here I am. I got Tumbler. My baby is dead. I can't talk to her. So I'll talk to this void and maybe I'll feel better. Beating that Kleenex box didn't help afterall. Why not?

#depression

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