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ladyreapermc · 4 years

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Fic: Catching Feelings 7/? (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget her ex. Neither of them are expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. (Previous parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6)

Author’s Notes: Well, this took me a while. Don’t you just hate when real life gets in the way? Anyway, here it is. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Wordcount: 3463

Warnings: smut (powerplay; choking); mentions of alcohol.

Steph licked her lips as she watched Keanu standing before her completely naked with the exception of the black collar around his neck, the dark color making such a nice contrast with his tanned skin. Especially with the way he kept his head ducked, eyes downcast like a naughty boy waiting to be punished. The thought of it gave it a thrill.

She never thought of herself as particularly dominant. And definitely not in bed. Sure, she made sure to let everyone know what she thought and wanted; and not only in the bedroom. Steph actually lost a few jobs due to her unwillingness to compromise to certain things for sake of a director’s vision.

And in the bedroom more often than not the boyfriends she had had over the years would only half-listen when she asked for something, giving specific instructions. Kevin used to hate it and once again Steph wondered how she dated him for so long when now she could see they were terrible for each other.

Such a contrast to what she felt with Keanu. It was like they just clicked together. Two pieces of a puzzle. Their needs complimented each other so well. His eagerness to please being perfect for her assertive behavior.

Even their fantasies seemed to match because even though Steph never really thought about having someone on a collar and leash for her, having Keanu like this; seeing the trust he had on her made Steph aroused by the prospect.

To be fair, after a month with only her memories and her hands to bring her release, just having Keanu there, being able to smell that beloved combination of leather and metal scent that seemed to be ingrained in his skin from working in that bike shop, was enough to kindle that fire deep inside her.

To feel his touch, taste his lips made every nerve-end burn with need and all Steph wanted was to have Keanu fuck her senseless so she could relearn his body, recommit to her memory the feel of him inside her completing her so perfectly.

She tugged gently on the leash making Keanu moan, his lids fluttering, his hands fisting next to his body and she smirked, turning to the bed and leading the way towards it. Steph could practically feel his hungry gaze on her ass and the temptation of just getting on all fours and let him fuck her senseless nearly won over, but she wanted to enjoy her present.

Pushing him on the bed, Steph got on top of him, kissing him softly, tasting the cigarette he must had had earlier. She brought his hands to her thighs, wordless telling he could touch all he wanted as she trailed kissed down his jaw and neck, making her way to the top of his scar and nipping it gently. Keanu groaned and ached up, his cock sliding against her soaked folds, making a shot of pleasure ran through her.

“Please ma’am…” his voice trembled with need and she sat back up. “I need you.”

Steph took a moment to look at Keanu as he laid there beneath her, waiting for her next command, his brown eyes hooded and hazed as he watched her. She had never been looked at a man like that before.

She was used to guys staring at her, his eyes screaming all the dirty things they wanted to do to her. She was used to older men sometimes looking at her like she was beneath them; a ditzy pretty girl that could be featured in a movie or a magazine and make them millions.

Keanu was the first to look at her like this. There was adoration in his eyes, but a deeper understanding too. Steph felt it in every inch of her being that whenever he looked at her, he really saw her. Not Stephanie the actress; not the public façade she had to put on to deal with people. He actually saw her. Her flaws and quirks and insecurities and he embraced all of it. Because Keanu loved her.

Her breath hitched at the realization, her hands pausing on their exploration of the plains of his strong chest.

“Everything ok?” he asked because of course, he picked up on it. Keanu always noticed every little thing. Every little hesitation.

Steph smiled, brushing some of the strands of hair from his forehead before she tugged on the leash wrapped around her hand and Keanu followed, sitting up. His eyes clouding with pleasure as she kissed his lips.

It wasn’t like the desperate kisses they’ve shared earlier tonight. This one was slow and soft; recognition of all the mutual affection existed between them. Because even though Steph felt it and was still too scared to say it, she could still show him.

Without breaking the contact between their lips, she raised herself and Keanu held himself steady so she could sink on his cock, connect themselves in the most primal way.

Steph gasped against his mouth at the way of Keanu fit her so perfectly; made her feel every inch of him against her walls, which pulsed in need as she rested her forehead against his, adjusting to the intrusion.

His hands caressed her back gently; coaxing her into relaxation. Calloused fingers exploring her vertebrae, kneading and massaging the muscles and pulling her closer until their chests were flushed together as if not having yet another point of contact between them was unthinkable.

Their gaze locked together; a wordless understanding they seem share washing over them as Keanu brought a hand behind himself, planting it firmly on the bed so he had a point of leverage to start thrusting up, slow and steady. Steph ground her hips to meet him, letting go of the leash so she could cross her arms around his neck, giving herself more support for her movements.

Their breaths mingled together along with their soft moans; sweat coating their skin as their chests slid against one another. She threw her head back in pleasure and his lips found her neck and jaw, kissing and licking; finding every spot that made Steph moan and squeeze around him. Keanu’s other hand fitting itself somehow between them and rubbing her clit helping her steady climb to her climax.

Steph kissed him as she came; afraid of letting the words fall from her lips in this moment of vulnerability. She felt him speeding up his thrusts; losing his rhythm, keening little sounds coming from his throat.

She watched him for a moment, still panting from her own high. Catching the leash again, Steph pulled it back behind him, making the collar tighten around his throat. Keanu arched his head back, his lips parting slightly into a breathless groan.

“Gonna come, babe?” she asked; and he just nodded as best as he could; too lost in his own pleasure. “Do it. I wanna feel you.”

She eased up her hold, letting air rush back into his lungs and he cried out her name as he stilled, spilling inside her. His face shifting into the most gorgeous, blissed-out expression as he panted desperately and rested his forehead against her shoulder, his body shaking.

Steph hugged him and petted his hair, letting him recover from his orgasm, mumbling words of praise and affection against his temple as he caught his breath; realizing this might have been the best sex of her life and she didn’t want to share this with anyone else.

Keanu was hers and hers alone. She just needed to find a way to tell him that.

---

They spent the rest of the night together in Keanu’s room. They ordered room service and watched crappy movies on the tv, laughing and cuddling together and getting lost in one another until they fell asleep in each other’s arms and Steph didn’t even notice how much she missed sleeping with Keanu or how they could fit perfectly in each other’s arms until she had him again.

She stared at his relaxed face under the pale morning light, tracing the sharp features, his stubble scratching her fingertips, his long lashes fanning over his cheeks, drawing attention to the faint freckles that peppered the area and his nose.

Maybe he felt her gaze or maybe it was just his time to wake up, but Keanu’s eyes fluttered open, his lips tilting into a smile when they landed on her.

“‘Morning,” he greeted, voice still rough with sleep and Steph smiled, kissing him softly.

The kiss quickly turned heated with the way Keanu pulled her closer, his mouth and tongue seeking more of her just as his hands roamed her naked body, bringing Steph on top of him for another round of sex that left her aching and sated more relaxed than she felt in months. It was well over eleven a.m. when they finally got up and showered to come down to the hotel’s restaurant for some brunch, taking a table in a secluded corner so as not to be disturbed.

Steph never ate much in the morning. She was cereal and coffee kind of girl, but Keanu could barely contain his excitement at the assortment of options at the buffet. She chuckled to herself, sipping her coffee and checking her emails while he got himself something to eat.

Steph only looked up when around ten minutes had passed and there was no sign of Keanu. Her eyes darted around the restaurant, catching him engrossed in a conversation with a pretty blonde that seemed a little too friendly.

As if feeling her stare, Keanu looked over at her direction, his smile turning into a wince as he quickly said his farewells to the disappointed looking lady and hurried to join Steph, his expression could only be described as of a kicked puppy.

“Making friends already,” Steph commented, trying to reign in her temper.

“She was just being polite. I had no idea what most of that food was,” Keanu replied with a shrug, his expression shifting into a sly grin. “But you’re cute when you’re jealous.” He kissed the tip of her nose, making Steph glare indignantly while Keanu chuckled, his attention shifting back to his full plate.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to Steph that Keanu attracted so much attention. He was a gorgeous man and so thoughtful and polite. It was no wonder that everywhere they went, as they took her day off to sightsee Paris, women and more than a few guys were not so inconspicuously checking him out.

A teenage girl in the train openly stared at him with something that Steph could only describe as heart-eyes when Keanu offered her his seat. A woman, old enough to be his mom, gushed over him as Keanu held the door open for her when they were leaving a bookstore. And a couple of girls actually catcalled him as they walked by, making Keanu blush and laugh.

Steph did her best to ignore it. She had plenty of experience with this kind of thing from when she dated Kevin. However, it bothered her a lot more with Keanu. In part, it was the fact that he was completely oblivious to it and dismissed her observations whenever she pointed it out.

“They’re just being nice, babe,” he said with a shrug, going back to ignoring the wanton looks he attracted.

It should be a comfort to Steph that he was so down to Earth that he was immune to it, but it was just driving her crazy and she couldn’t help but glare whenever one of those people caught her gaze, making them painfully aware that Keanu was spoken for.

Steph had never felt this possessive of someone before and she wasn’t exactly sure why this was happening. Well, that wasn’t quite true, was it? She knew why she was jealous. Because she couldn’t help but remember that those people could have a night with Keanu if they wished. All they needed was to make a request on Mars and Venus and it was up to Keanu to accept it or not.

“You’re quiet.” His voice startled Steph from her musings as they walked back to the hotel so they could get ready for dinner with Vincent and his boyfriend Jean.

She looked over Keanu’s way, noticing the small frown of concern in his features and forced a smile into her face. This was not the time to have this conversation. Not when they were about to head out with her friends.

“Just tired, I guess.”

“Do you wanna cancel?” Keanu asked, pulling her closer to his body, one arm wrapped around her shoulders. “We can stay in, order room service again. I’m pretty sure there are one or two surfaces of that suite we haven’t fucked yet.”

Steph let out a chuckle at his cheeky grin and wiggling eyebrows and did something she would never consider doing in a million years if she was in Los Angeles: she turned in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck and meeting his lips in a kiss.

“I’ve never met someone this horny before,” she said against his lips and this time it was Keanu who chuckled.

“You said that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Never!” She grinned taking a step back. “But we have dinner reservations and Vincent is dying to meet you.”

“Right. Vincent.” It was faint but it was there, the way his brow furrowed a little; the twist in his lips and Steph smirked, just knowing Keanu was jealous.

“His boyfriend is also looking forward to meeting you,” she added.

“Oh!” Was Keanu’s reply, his eyes widening a little; a pink flush making its way to his cheeks.

Steph chuckled and nodded in confirmation as she raised herself on the tip of her toes so she could kiss his nose exactly like the way he had done at brunch.

“But you’re cute when you were jealous,” she commented, making him ducked his head, blush spreading.

She pulled back and huddled close to him, letting Keanu once again wrap his arm around her shoulders, while she led the way back to the hotel. He looked around, seemingly in awe of how gorgeous Paris looked. She couldn’t wait to take him out again tomorrow, enjoy even more of the city of love with him.

---

They showered together, which proved to be an endeavor that took more time than it saved since Keanu couldn’t keep his hands to himself and Steph ended up on her knees, sucking him off before they finally managed to actually get out and get dressed a lot later than expected.

They met Vincent and Jean on the lobby where Steph introduced Keanu to them, sharing a quick look with Vincent behind his back. She could tell he approved of him but gave Vincent a warning look when she caught him checking Keanu’s ass. She couldn’t fault him entirely. It was a gorgeous ass.

Dinner went amazingly well. Keanu and Jean hit it off over a shared love for motorcycles and spent the night talking after giving up on trying to include Steph and Vincent in the conversation and getting blank stares from both. She didn’t mind. As a matter of fact, Steph was glad he was so comfortable around her two friends.

He seemed perfectly relaxed and at ease with them and at the restaurant, a distant cry from how he behaved that night she took him to have dinner to celebrate getting the part for the Fincher movie. It had only been a couple of months ago, but that night she could tell he felt awkward with his clothes, with the place and the way he was being treated.

Steph had to wonder if the change was due to the fact that Keanu grew used to the ambiance. That his clients just kept bringing him to fancy restaurants and he had to adapt to make them happy and it just became natural to him. She took a gulp of her wine, trying to swallow down the lump of jealousy in her throat.

As soon as she sat her glass down, the waiter reappeared, refilling it for her and Steph nodded in thanks. She ignored Vincent’s small frown of worry in favor of looking at Keanu talking so smoothly with Jean. His smile polite, his voice completely controlled, so different from the excited puppy demeanor he usually showed when it was just the two of them. Steph realized then, much to her dismay, this wasn’t her Keanu. this was Charles and she hated it.

Once again she reached for her drink, downing in one go, the alcohol making her head cloudy and her movements unsteady as she settled the glass back down again, clinking it loudly again her plate, attracting Keanu’s attention. Steph had always been a lightweight when it came to drinking so it wasn’t surprising she was tipsy with only two glasses.

Steph met his gaze, noticing his frown, the silent question in his eyes. She just plastered a smile on her face, but before she could actually say something, someone called out his name, making Keanu look over.

“Of all the places in the world to meet,” a brunette woman, maybe in her late forties, early fifties, said, moving closer to the table as Keanu rose. She was beautiful. Sharp blue eyes, full red lips, sculpted body wrapped in a tight black dress.

“Cassandra. It’s been a while,” he replied with that same polite smile, letting her kiss his cheek and leave a bright lipstick print that had Steph seething. “It’s definitely a surprise. I hope you’re doing well.”

“Just perfect! Celebrating my divorce!” she announced with a wide grin, wiggling her ringless fingers in front of his eyes. “And all thanks to you.”

“Nonsense,” he said, waving her words off shyly. “All I did was listen. I’m glad I could help, though.”

“You were fantastic, darling!” Once again she kissed his cheek and Steph saw the way he flushed, unable to hold the woman’s gaze. “Anyway, enjoy your night.”

She waved them off, walking away as Keanu sat down again, an embarrassed smile on his lips as he set the napkin back on his lap and looked around the table.

“I just realized I’ve never asked you what you do for a living, Keanu,” Jean said, but before Keanu could answer, Steph spoke.

“He’s a hooker,” she blurted venomously, swallowing yet another glass of wine and ignoring the bewildered look on Vincent’s face in favor of looking at Keanu. “A very good one if Cassandra’s reaction was anything to go by. How much is the night with you again, babe? Seven thousand?”

Steph knew she was being mean. That she was hurting Keanu’s feelings and humiliating him, but there was just something in her, something ugly and twisted that was rearing its head and she couldn’t make it go away. The alcohol enabling these dark thoughts, letting them spill from her lips.

“Eight,” he replied through gritted teeth as he got up again, reaching for his wallet and throwing a couple of bills on the table. “I upped it again so I could comfortably afford to come to Paris to see you on a whim.”

His words hit her like a slap, leaving only the sour taste of guilt on her mouth as she met his icy stare. Steph never knew Keanu could be that cruel, but then again, she didn’t think she could be it either.

“Vincent, Jean, it was great meeting you. Have a good night.” Keanu left without a word to Steph and she got up to follow him, but Vincent caught her arm, making her stop.

“Darling, no,” he said in a low voice, his gaze full of pity. “You’re drunk and he needs time to cool off.”

She sighed and dropped back on her chair, fighting off the tears threatening to spill as she reached for her glass again. For her water this time.

“Besides, you have a more important call to make right now,” Jean declared, his face stormy as he looked at Steph. “You just announced very loudly in a crowded restaurant that your date is a hooker. Call your agent. This is gonna be a shit show.”

And as if to give Jean’s words even more weigh, Steph’s phone started to vibrate, twitter notifications popping up on the screen, the numbers increasing at an exponentially fast speed.

She looked around, noticing the not so inconspicuous glances from people at tables around them. Some of them trying to be discreet in the way they were typing on their phones. A few didn’t seem to care and were just texting openly.

Panic filled her chest. What did she just do?

xxx(tbc)xxx

go to chapter 08

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netraptor · 5 years

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Blessing of Light, Curse of Darkness

A new fanfic is going up! This follows my warlock Jayesh. Still somewhat battered after the events of Forsaken as detailed in Fireteam Vengeance, he’s assigned to visit the Dreaming City and try to redeem a Taken with the Light. This means teaming up with his ex-friend Madrid, a powerful Hunter who succumbed to the whispers of Riven and tried to feed Jayesh to the Chimera. But Madrid is sane again, and lives each time loop cycle in deep regret. Jayesh is the last person he ever wanted to work with again.

As they unwillingly work together to track down their target, they run across a newly-resurrected Guardian. Prince Uldren, who retains only old memories, has no idea that Madrid killed him, or why all Guardians hate him so much. Jayesh and Madrid, barely allies, are now faced with another hard question: to shelter Uldren, or let him become prey for the other Guardians, who still crave revenge for the death of Cayde-6.

Jayesh was blissfully, deeply grateful.

He lay in bed, his arms around his sleeping wife, Kari. His nose was buried in her hair, and his heart felt ready to burst with happiness and contentment. He'd just returned from a month-long assignment on Venus, where he'd missed his little family with a powerful ache.

Kari couldn't go with him on missions anymore, since she had to stay home to raise their son, Connor. This was hard on them both, especially since Kari was the better fighter. But Jayesh sucked it up and worked with other Guardians, improving his skills, and told nobody but his ghost how much he missed his wife.

But he was home in the Tower, and all was well. Jayesh's gratitude overflowed, and before he knew it, he was thanking the Traveler - for choosing him, for making him a Guardian, for making beautiful Kari a Guardian, for granting them a child of the Light, for everything it did for them. The bliss poured out of him, lying there in silence, yet singing in his heart.

When Jayesh had been a brand new Guardian, he had climbed up into the Traveler and been locked inside when the Red Legion caged it. He'd talked to the Traveler - or rather, he had argued and yelled at it. But by the time the war ended, he had forged a friendly connection with the paracausal entity that few others dared try. Indeed, many Guardians looked at him askance and whispered that he was a fanatic.

Jayesh never denied this. How to explain his relationship with a god?

So as he lay there, pouring out his gratitude to the Traveler, he felt its Light touch him. It acknowledged the praise, and it was pleased.

"I'm not kissing up," he told it inside his head. "I really am thankful. I don't say thank you enough, so - thank you."

While they often communicated, the Traveler didn't always use words. Mostly it touched his Light, strengthening him. Sometimes it gave him mental images or visions. But tonight, he heard it laugh with the voices of many Guardians. "Guardian Jayesh. My faithful servant."

It portrayed itself as male to Jayesh because that was how he best communicated with it. The voice that spoke to him was like a loving father's. "I am sending you to the Reef. There is a task you must do there."

Jayesh lifted his head, gazing at the ceiling. "The Reef, Traveler? But ... last time I was there ..." Fear flashed through him, leaving cold sweat in its wake. He showed the Traveler his nightmare memories of Taken, and the horrifying chimera, the Voice of Riven, its jaws open.

The Traveler's Light embraced him. "Yes, my Guardian. You suffered greatly for my sake. But this time I have a different task for you - a task that only great Light can accomplish."

Jayesh lay there, silent, unwilling to ask more. He didn't want to go to the Reef again. He'd freeze in the cold wind that ripped through the barely-habitable asteroid field and the derelict spaceships that linked them. And the awful chimera had haunted his nightmares for months. Sometimes he dreamed he was back in its jaws, screaming in agony as the teeth pierced him.

And the Traveler wanted him to go back.

"I don't want to," he told it. "I'm afraid of what might happen."

He'd learned that the Traveler wanted him to be brutally honest with it. It more or less knew everything he was thinking, anyway. Not being human, it overlooked many nuances that would have offended a lesser being.

Its Light touched him like a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "You are my Guardian. I will empower you for this task. And the task is this."

It showed him a clear vision of an Awoken woman, with pale blue skin like starlight, long white hair, and glittering silver eyes.

"She has been Taken," the Traveler said.

The woman changed to a black shadow outlined in burning white. A blob of white on her forehead nearly obscured her features, but her jaw hung slack, her eyes gone dead and black, her fingers curled into claws.

Jayesh cringed. Taken were his particular terror.

"What do you expect me to do?" he thought. "You told me once that you didn't know if Taken people could ever be saved."

"That's what I want you to discover," the Traveler replied. "She was a servant of the Light, although not a Guardian. I will equip you with a transcendent blessing. Use it to free her from the power that indwells her."

Jayesh thought about this, tense and unwilling. He wanted to serve the Traveler, but it was asking him to face his greatest fear and attempt what, until now, had been considered impossible.

"Why now?" he asked. "Why do I have to do this now? Couldn't you try to save Taken people before this?"

"Consider the timeline," the Traveler replied. "Taken are a relatively recent invention by the Hive god Oryx. I have only lately awakened from my dormant state. It has taken time for me to study the Taken through my Guardians and ghosts. I have developed possible solutions to the problem. But my Guardians are my hands and feet in this matter. You are a healer. I am asking you to attempt to heal the gravest wound of all."

Put this way, Jayesh understood. A warm glow pervaded his being - the Traveler valued him enough to share its plans. He had always looked down on himself for preferring to heal. The Vanguard valued warriors, granting rewards and status according to who killed how much of what. The guy who stayed behind his fireteam, shielding, healing wounds that occurred faster than their ghosts could mend, or energizing his team - that sort of work didn't receive as much recognition. Of course, his fireteam praised him, but they were the only ones.

But restoring a person who had been Taken ...

His thoughts crawled back to one of his biggest failures - when a woman he had been trying to save had torn free of his grasp and thrown herself into a Maw. She had been Taken of her own free will. It still haunted him, usually late at night, when his treacherous mind called up all his failings and paraded them through his mind's eye.

Maybe Natasha could be saved, too.

Slowly he gathered his resolve. "I'll try, Traveler."

In response, extra Light trickled into him. But this was like another Seed of Light - a mote like the sun that he held in his heart. With it came words - a benediction - that would bestow the Light upon someone.

Imagining speaking a benediction over a Taken who was trying to rip his face off made him turn cold all over.

"My Light will be with you," the Traveler assured him. "Fear not."

Jayesh tried to respond that he wasn't afraid, that he'd be the first Guardian ever to pull a Taken back from the jaws of Darkness. But it would have been a lie. So he cuddled closer to Kari and tried not to shiver too much.

A week later, Jayesh received his next assignment from Ikora.

"Surprise," he told Kari, reading the message from his tablet. "She's sending me to the Reef. I get to mess around in the Dreaming City time loop. Go me."

"Oh, Jay." Kari put an arm around him. "It'll be all right. Guardians can get in and out of the time loop with minimal distortion. And hey, Madrid is there. Maybe he can help you out."

Jayesh gave her a sharp look.

Kari winced. "Or not."

Madrid had been the third member of their fire team, an expert Awoken Hunter, and a steadfast friend to them both. But witnessing the death of Cayde-6 had changed him. He had listened to the whispers of the Ahamkara, Riven, and had tried to feed Jayesh to a foul monster from the Ascendant Realm. He had also murdered the Awoken Prince, Uldren, in cold blood. He was serving a sentence of forced labor in the Dreaming City, a Guardian made to fight the same enemies every time the time loop reset. Nobody knew how long it would last.

Jayesh hoped he never laid eyes on Madrid again.

"I don't know how long I'll be gone," Jayesh said, closing his tablet and looking glum. "I'll be hunting for one particular Taken out of hordes of Taken. I have no guarantee the Darkness will even drop her into our reality. And then I have to identify her long enough to not kill her in self-defense. I don't know if I can do this. The Traveler's asking the impossible."

"Maybe for anyone else," Kari said, rubbing his back. "But I believe you can do it. Why else would the Traveler ask you?"

He leaned his head against hers and sighed deeply. "Kari ... I'm scared out of my mind."

She kept stroking him and said nothing.

Connor toddled up to them, holding up a toy car. "Da!" he exclaimed.

Jayesh picked him up. "Daddy's going on another trip, Con. Be good for your mama."

Connor sucked his thumb and regarded his father soberly. His ghost floated nearby, wearing a waterproof shell smeared with baby food, her expression one of constant longsuffering.

Jayesh hugged his son and his wife. "When I get back, I'm taking a month off. I miss you both too much." He didn't voice the tiny, nagging fear that maybe this time, he wouldn't come back - that somewhere out in the savage, lawless Reef, his Light would finally be quenched. That was one of the risks of being a Guardian and didn't bear mentioning.

"You'll do great, Jay," Kari told him. "Keep in touch while you're out there."

"I'll write you every day." He let Connor slide to the floor. Then he wrapped his arms around Kari and kissed her slowly and deeply. "I married you so we wouldn't have to be separated," he whispered. "And here we are, separated. It's not fair."

"I know," she whispered back. "I wish I could go. But Connor ..."

"I know." He held her for another moment, then released her with a sigh. "I'd better get going."

"Hey." Kari held out her hands. Her ghost transmatted her graviton lance into them. She held it out. "Take this. It'll remind you of me when you use it."

It was her favorite rifle, and it fired black holes. Jayesh was fond of it, too. He accepted it reverently. "I'll take perfect care of it, lovelight."

"I guess it's just you and me, Phoenix," he said to his ghost as he walked to the hanger.

"Just like the good old days," Phoenix replied, twirling his red and yellow shell. "Alone. Scared. People trying to kill us."

"Playing with Taken," Jayesh said. "Listening to the Traveler. The more things change, the more they stay the same."

Jayesh entered his ship, stashed his gear, then waited for takeoff clearance from Tower Control.

As he did, he thought about his conversation with Ikora, the Warlock Vanguard.

"I've had word from the Traveler," she had told him quietly. They had been alone in her office. Other Guardians still tended to treat Jayesh like a pariah for his claims about meeting the Traveler - and the following media campaign against him. But it spoke to Ikora, too, and she understood.

"It's sending you to the Reef to study Taken," Ikora went on, watching his face. "But I see that you already know."

"It told me," Jayesh replied. "I was just waiting for you to send me, officially."

Ikora had smiled. "This won't be an easy task, but I'm not throwing you to the wolves just yet. Rendezvous at the Dasa compound in Reefedge City. It's our only Guardian foothold in the Reef. The Dasas have years of experience with Taken and will help you. If you need a fireteam, they'll assign you one. But this may be a solo mission."

His dread must have shown on his face, because Ikora looked compassionate. "Don't underestimate yourself, Guardian. You've faced far worse things than a single Taken."

"There's no such thing as a single Taken," Jayesh had replied. "They run in packs."

"I know. And I still think you can handle it. I'm prepared to award triple the usual bounty for this mission. If we Guardians can steal the Taken from the Darkness, itself? That is a devastating weapon against our enemies."

While he was grateful for her confidence in him, and the extra bounty, Jayesh sat in his ship's cockpit, waiting for permission to take off, and didn't feel like he could handle this mission. Why was it that no matter how much he accomplished, or how much success he had, inside, he was still the same frightened young Guardian?

Phoenix floated beside him, ready to operate the ghost controls. Without a word being spoken, he turned and examined Jayesh's face. Then he flew up and leaned his shell against Jayesh's cheek in a silent expression of companionship. Jayesh cupped a hand around him and held him for a moment.

"I'm here, Jay," the ghost whispered to his mind through their bond.

"Thanks," Jayesh thought.

It was all that needed to be said. Ghost and Guardian trusted each other implicitly.

fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13237621/1/Blessing-of-Light-Curse-of-Darkness

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18155048/chapters/42931655

#fanfiction #destiny2

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firjii · 6 years

Note

A5, C1, F1, G4, J5, L3, N2, R4, U4, Y2, and Z4! Any OC you like, mix and match, up to you.

A fine list. I had to think about these overnight.

~For Bae Lavellan~

A5. what is their most impressive talent?

She actually excels at many things, but her most uniqueskill is that she can speak backwards. She’ll do it when she’s bored, she’ll doit when she’s upset, she’ll do it to unsettle someone she dislikes. She cansustain it for quite awhile if she’s feeling talkative. Leliana thought that itwas a secret code or cipher at first. When pressed, Bae didn’t have a goodanswer for why or how she’d learned to do it. It’s especially surprising whenyou consider that she’s not fluently multilingual – she was a hopeless studentwhen it came to elven, so she mostly gets by in Common.

J5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Interesting question. Her skills aren’t necessarily what shetakes pleasure in – they’re just things that she happens to be good at. Sheenjoys problem solving and looking for things that other people miss (it’s anuncontrollable reflex anyway), so she enjoys climbing, especially if the goalis a quiet and private spot with a good view. When she was still living withher clan, it was one of the only ways that she could really clear her head. Shecan be a bit clumsy with other kinds of movement and doesn’t have big muscles,but she’s very flexible and climbing just…makes sense somehow. She could alwaysreach heights that others didn’t dare to go to or couldn’t see a way to get to,although she rarely did it for competition’s sake and not everyone realize howgood at it she was.

~For Gelya Tabris:~

G4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

She always wanted more muscle. Life in the alienage meant alot of crime, and not just involving humans. There were few depths thatpickpockets and muggers wouldn’t stoop to. As befits a rogue, Gelya always hadfair reflexes, but no matter how much she tried to build muscle mass, she couldnever make real progress (partly because she was never exactly well-fed andpartly because she was born very prematurely and was never going to have alarge frame anyway). A man of even middling strength could have easilyoverpowered her, though luckily many elves pitied her instead and sometimesshunned her a little or even regarded her as mentally ill (which isn’tcompletely incorrect, though most of her psychological issues are directly dueto alienage life, not genetic predisposition).

She is, however, a very fast learner, and she knows it. Shecan improve greatly after making just one mistake, and once she’s learned howto do something, she never forgets it. She’s not especially skilled inanything, but it’s always been obvious – even to her – that her chances ofsurvival are ultimately better than many others’ because she understands how toadapt and adjust (even if it kills her a little inside sometimes). It’s a small comfort, but it’s enough to get her through the day.

~For Mervyn Lavellan~ [y’all haven’t seen him yet since he’strapped in the PS3, but he was my first Inquisitor and first DA build]

F1. what do they do for fun?

Though he didn’t grow up playing it, he ADORES chess and anyother games that even vaguely resemble it. He’s not always the absolute bestplayer, but his strategizing skills are a perfect foundation for learning it.He frequently hounds his advisors for a chance to hone his skills and learn newmoves. He can be quite cynical about non-elves sometimes, but he greatly admiresthe other races’ board games and sees the value in applying the skills neededfor them to real life and vice versa.

~For Radi Lavellan~

C1. how do they sit in a chair?

At a formal dinner table? Tidily and carefully. Her sitting posturein front of others is so polished that you’d think she’d grown up in Orlesianhigh society.

But in an armchair by a roaring hearth? All bets are off.She usually just ragdolls and passes out because she’s very prone to worrying andlong days and basically never gets enough sleep.

L3. are there any foods they hate?

Bread pudding, rosemary, and most pickled foods. She’s alsonot crazy about most liquor unless it’s cider, beer, or wine.

N2. what have they never done that they want to do?

While she’s socially confident and isn’t particularlyinhibited, she was never in a relationship pre-Inquisition. Growing up, she sawteenaged friends and family gradually marry off or at least get involved inmatchmaking, but she never even spent private time for a picnic with someone,never mind a kiss or something more. Cullen is her first everything.

It’s not that she didn’t want anyone prior to that (she’s not ace or aro), butshe saw enough families get separated by war, feuds, etc. that she couldn’tquite commit to the idea herself. She also always focused on protecting othersin the clan, so tbh she was honestly too busy keeping track of the clan’ssafety most of the time to really step back from worrying long enough to thinkabout it.

R4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

I think she regrets that she doesn’t regret breaking rules. She’s usually done so for thegreater good and she only defies authority when its logic no longer serves agood purpose, but it’s happened often enough over the years that she waspainted as a cocky youngster early on. Some in the clan praised this and otherscalled her a traitor for it.

Now and then, she has a quiet moment of reflectionand wonders if things would have been better if she’d let others share some ofthe load. She’s not assertive by default and didn’t quite choose to be theguardian type – it sort of just happened in some moments when others didn’thave the same willpower. By the time she’d realized what she’d become, it wastoo late to change course…especially considering there was nothing actually wrongwith who she was.

U4. have they ever been doubted?

Considering she’s fairly atheist for an elf? You betcha.Plenty of people in her clan always resented her input/advice/opinions onimportant matters. Even the Keeper only let her be Second – Radi doesn’t try tostep on others’ toes and she doesn’t openly try to tell other people how tothink, but her lack of firm belief in the gods definitely meant that she waslooked down on, held back, and not always taken seriously.

Y2. what inspired you to create them?

It’s like this: my last DA OC was pretty nondescript on theoutside but basically scarred beyond recognition on the inside. I thought I’dtry the opposite with Radi: someone with a lot of literal scars but a bit lessof the “acute psychological trauma” side of things (not that there isn’t any,but it’s not the outright paralyzing sort like Bae has). She’s alsoneurotypical, so the scores of things that bother/confuse/upset Bae don’tnecessarily stand out to Radi.

I also have a bit of a hangup about making my OC’s look “tooperfect.” Granted, none of mine have horrible deformities and I’m thrilledevery time someone calls one of them cute, but mine don’t have fancy hair, alot of makeup, large eyes, flawless skin, etc. I’m not complaining becausethat’s 10000% deliberate. I spend much moretime making them look the way they do, not less.

While I definitely wouldn’t call Radi ugly, she does have some verydistinctive features which may or may not be attractive according tostereotypical beauty standards (a very angular jaw, noticeable cheek hollowsthat point to her scarily underweight tendencies rather than nice bonestructure, a cleft and sort of puffy chin, recessed eye sockets and puffy eyes that make her look a lot more squinty/suspicious than she actually is, etc.).

Furthermore, although she’s cis female, I wanted her to bean example of a woman who doesn’t necessarily get positively recognized for heroutward appearances since her features aren’t widely praised (or even widely acknowledged) for women. In fact, a fewpeople have already misgendered her. That actually makes me happy because it shows that Idid my job right.

And, of course, I loved the idea of having a character whohas very visible, very striking scars but actually isn’t that bothered by themcosmetically because they’re proof of just how tough someone can be – even ascrawny mage.

Z4. what’s their dream pet?

She’ll take every opportunity she gets to have a new pet, regardless of species, but she’s fascinated by turtles and tortoises. She’s goodaround most domesticated animals but appreciates the ones that have a quietsteadiness.

#dragon age oc chatter #radi lavellan #bae lavellan #mervyn lavellan #gelya tabris

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wrestlewriting · 7 years

Text

#19 [Alex Shelley]

Requested, #19: “I’m good enough, right?” (Prompt from here.) - @thedeboniardevistation

Word Count: 1,284

Author note: This is just all the fluff, ALL OF IT. Semi-based on true events because Alex did in fact adopt a deaf dalmatian and the thing is so freaking cute!!

@superkixbaybay @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @valeonmars @pjanina13 @spot-of-bother @bolieve-that @m-a-t-91 @not-that-kinda-gurl08 @running-ropes @heelturn-timesten @wrestlingnoob @alexahood21 @theelitevillian @bitchesgonnabemad @castielscamander @heeltothequeen @crookedmoonsaultpunk @chasingeverybreakingwave @thegenericluchadora @thedeboniardevistation @cosmicswimming @spine-buster

One of the biggest reasons you had fallen in love with Alex was because he had such a big heart. He was always willing to help, support, show care towards those that mattered to him. He had certain causes and passions that meant a lot to him, and he was known to sneak in some charity work when home.

Alex never bragged about what he did, never felt it was a big deal. He just did. And if someone ever called him out on his behaviors, praised him excessively, he did everything he could to brush it off and move away from it. He didn’t do good things for the recognition. He did good things because he wanted to and wanted to make others happy.

It was no secret that animals were his biggest weakness.

The first time you’d come home to a surprise animal was a dog. An older dog at that, maybe pushing ten years old if not past it, who looked like some type of German Shepherd mix.

“Um, Alex?” You’d called out from the front hallway, where you were stroking the back of the dog gently. The dog was just standing next to you, letting you do what you did, seeming pleased with the situation.

To say Alex had looked sheepish when he came around the corner was an understatement.

“Hey babe!” His greeting was overenthusiastic and much too saccharine. You just raised your eyebrows, glancing down at the dog, and then back to your boyfriend. Whatever façade he was putting on immediately deflated. “Listen, I know, OK? But Jen’s neighbors moved and just left him. How fucked up is that?”

“So, that’s why there are shelters.” You weren’t trying to be cruel, you loved animals as much as Alex did. But you were also practical. And adding a dog into the mix of your busy lives wasn’t the most sensible move.

“He’s old though. Old dogs don’t last in shelters. They’re usually put down. And that’s not fair. He’s a good dog, he deserves to live the rest of his life with a family.”

“…and we’re that family?”

Alex just smiled gently, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. When you looked down at the actual dog, he was doing the same.

Great. They’re already best buds.

With a sigh and an eye roll, you crouched down to the dog’s face. He tentatively pushed his face towards yours, his cold nose rubbing your cheek.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” you informed the animal. From the corner of your eye, you saw Alex close his eyes and squeeze his fists in a victory motion.

Major, as you learned was the dog’s name, somehow became an integral part of your family over the ensuing months. Despite his age, he was still quite active and adventurous. There were plenty of hikes in the woods, swims in lakes, and visits to local dog-friendly breweries.

It was just under two years since he’d joined your household that you had to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep. You hadn’t been ready to do so. It seemed to come out of nowhere, the way his breathing got shorter and ragged when he did things. Soon enough he was struggling just to make it around the house.

Your local vet, bless them, came to the house to do the procedure. It allowed you to sit with Major on the couch, Alex on his other side, just as he always loved to be.

Five days later, you’d finally stopped crying constantly at the loss.

The second time you’d come home to a surprise animal, you’d been less startled but still not ready.

Alex was on the couch when you’d walked in, the TV on, so you hadn’t at first noticed anything different. He was leaned back against the armrest, so it wasn’t until you came around to the front that you saw what you saw.

“Hey hon,” you greeted. But your attention was immediately drawn to a blanket bundle cradled against his chest. You instantly became suspicious.

“Hello, love of my life,” was his response, looking up at you with that smile.

“Oh for fuck's sake,” you’d groaned. “What’s in there?”

“I didn’t go looking for this, I swear,” Alex defended. “It was just…on the back deck. And looking so…it’s not good.”

And that was when the tiniest kitten head decided to pop out from the blanket nest, followed by a miniature little body. The kitten was short haired, orange and white, scraggly looking all the same. You watched as the kitten climbed up Alex’s chest, latching onto his shirt, suckling. It was clear Alex had attempted to bathe the creature because it didn’t look atrocious, but it still had a sickly look to it.

“I’m not a big cat fan,” you stated, watching as the little paws kneaded against your boyfriend’s body, it’s eyes closed and content.

“That’s cool. I am,” he replied.

The kitten ended up named Ziggy, and you were constantly battling it for Alex’s attention.

The third time an animal unexpectedly joined your family, you were in the kitchen making lunch for yourself. Ziggy, now much bigger than the day he was found, was laid out on top of the refrigerator, watching you as you moved about. You weren’t entirely positive how the cat managed to get up so high all the time, but that was neither here nor there.

What you did know was when the front door opened and the clicking of nails was audible heard, Ziggy was at attention. And when a little Dalmatian puppy came scampering into the kitchen, the cat took off like a shot out of the room.

“Hey there, easy little one,” you spoke to the dog, who was swirling all around your legs, jumping up at your, trying to get every bit of itself on every bit of you. “Settle down, dude!”

“Uh, yea…that’s not gonna work,” Alex stated as he walked into the kitchen.

“What?” Your eyes cut up to your fiancé’s.

“Sooo…yea. He’s deaf.” Looking from Alex down to the dog, and then back up to Alex, you waited for further explanation. “He’s from a breeder, and they were going to have him put down just because he’s deaf. I don’t get why because he’s perfectly great otherwise. So what he can’t hear? Dogs can learn sign language.”

“They can?” You knew hand signs were sometimes used with training dogs, but the idea of a dog learning legitimate sign language seemed farfetched for some reason to you.

“Totally. Watch.” Alex came around the counter to where the puppy was sniffing enthusiastically around the under-trim of the cabinets. As soon as the dog saw Alex, he turned and went towards him. You watched as Alex pressed his first two fingers together on each of his hands, and then laid one set over top the other. The puppy immediately sat down and looked up at Alex expectantly.

“Well then,” you mumbled, as Alex got down on the floor, rubbing all over the puppy happily, who was eating up the attention, his butt wiggling along with his tail.

“Sooo….?” Alex looked up at you with his inquiry, as the puppy climbed all over him, eventually being able to lick his face repeatedly.

“So what?” you questioned.

“Come on baby,” he replied, picking up the dog in his arms and standing back up. The puppy wiggled for a moment, but then looked towards you appraisingly. “Look at him! It’s like he’s saying ‘I’m good enough, right? I can join this family?’”

Alex, you decided, was going to be sleeping downstairs on the couch alone for the foreseeable future in order to take care of the puppy.

#alex shelley fan fiction #alex shelley imagine #alex shelley fan fic #alex shelley fanfic #alex shelley fanfiction #roh fanfic #roh imagine #roh fan fiction #wrestling fanfic #wrestling fan fiction #wrestling imagine #wrestling drabble #wrestling fan fic #alex shelley #june requests #fluff #alex shelley x reader

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idolizerp · 5 years

Photo

LOADING INFORMATION ON HEAVEN’S MAIN DANCE RYU EUNBI...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Evie CURRENT AGE: 26 DEBUT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 15 COMPANY: 99 SECONDARY SKILL: Fashion design

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): lemonie (due to her alleged lemon obsession), eve (due to the close proximity of her stage and group name with religious themes), peitho (in english, name of the goddess that personified persuasion and seduction, much like herown image). INSPIRATION: claims to be inspired by company seniors, as well as her parents’ work ethic. SPECIAL TALENTS:

speed dancing: has good choreographic memory, can accurately perform a variety of routines in different styles and at increased levels of speed.

physical flexibility: resulting from dedicated practice (especially in acro dance), she likes to impress with gymnastic manoeuvres such as front/side splits, and backbends.

NOTABLE FACTS:

has a reported IQ of 145

sang in a youth choir at a local church before joining 99 entertainment

has an eye for fashion, designed much of her own streetwear during heaven’s debut era

avid lemonade lover; fans often bring her lemonade beverages and lemon-themed accessories.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

within the next six to twelve months, while continuing to solidify her place in the fashion industry through various program and brand appearances, eunbi would like to focus on branding herself as a serious and well-seasoned dancer, despite being from a group whose choreography routines aren’t the most complex. if possible, and in attempt to generate additional buzz, she’d like to assist with heaven’s choreography, revert the public’s attention from the fact that her solo did poorly. she’s especially interested in having people see multiple sides of her through dance, rather than just 99′s fabricated version of her. in this way, not only would she continue to hone her dancing skills, but she’d effectively prove that such capabilities make her something more than just the member of heaven who flopped.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

in the long run, eunbi wishes to revel in levels of fame only graced by some of the legendary seniors before her. despite previous setbacks, she still wishes to have a successful solo career somehow, and avoid being forgotten during the eventual fall of third generation girl groups. however, bearing in mind the reality of the situation, eunbi also hopes to achieve a prominent position in the fashion world. well into the future, she’d like to manage her own multi-national luxury fashion conglomerate and have it see success in both domestic and international territory. the ability to showcase and model her own designs would be ideal, as to not resort to faceless background work. in addition, due to eunbi’s unwavering passion for dance, she’d like to continue honing and utilizing her skills. this could potentially be as a choreographer for the company, but as with other aspects of her career, eunbi wishes for her work to be highly publicized. she enjoys recognition.

IDOL IMAGE

following heaven’s formation, eunbi was presented to the public as the rosy-cheeked babe of heaven, the timid girl next door. evie, they’d called her. and evie was a riveting combination, a sultry mix of soft and sexy, and a poster girl when it came to tried-and-true summer styles. as a result, 99 marketed her in a manner meant to be appealing, but never to the extremes. she was to be balanced instead– innocence and cuteness, desire and allure.

as the years progressed and evie blossomed further into womanhood, however, she became the owner of a figure well-praised. her long legs and slender frame steadily rose to attention on forums, and netizens commented over again and again about the silhouette of her curves beneath loose clothing, her suggestive acts and how she was teasingly aware of them.

with more exposure and attention came more confidence and pride, more insight towards the power of her sexuality. evie eventually developed a tempting gaze, a perpetual desire to test the waters and perform brazen movements for the stage. she made it a point to leave people wanting more, more, more. she was the girl next door, after all, forever and always ideal and desirable. but older now. wiser, too. more sure of herself. she’d transformed into the summer IT girl, a coquettish beach doll that could fascinate a room with even the most banal of activities.

the general public loved to ogle at evie, loved to watch as she took a sip of water or climbed immaculately out of a pool. something about her was classically beautiful, captivating.

and she was theirs for the viewing, entirely; their sensual and soft toy; their gratifying object, available for consumption at the press of the button. she belonged to them, and for the sake of her career, eunbi adhered to the position. she yielded without complaint to the image her company had crafted for her, surrendered bits and pieces of herself until she was nothing but a shell of her former self.

the new version of her was perfect and polished, eyes dull, but spirit keen. she worked like a robot, making each decision through a strictly calculative mindset. she was always thinking, planning, plotting. life was about maintaining connections, to her. seeking opportunities.

if i move like this, will it encourage views? if i smile a little wider, would merch sales improve? if i was honest about my thoughts, how would people react?

as far as eunbi knew, there were always systematically correct choices to make, always the smartest decisions to propel her forward in the industry.

she’d thought it to be a curse, disguised as a blessing, but 99 continued to eat it up anyway. they regarded her ambition, her desirability, as something to generate profit from. and though she sometimes hated it, she allowed it, because the truth was like this: somewhere within the mental chaos and the management of her porcelain perfection, she’d achieved something.

she’d mastered the art of being ryu eunbi, and she held onto that dearly.

IDOL HISTORY

from a young age, her parents had demonstrated their strong drives, their unwavering ability to work hard. she watched, day by day, as they lost themselves to untouchable dreams, she listened and learned as they prioritized work over family. and it was okay, then. “you work so hard!,” friends and family would comment to her mother. strong work ethic, everyone thought. their behavior was inspiring, they were chasing their dreams. and perhaps that really was the case. her parents had been passionate about their respective careers, and through frequent absences, they’d instilled their daughter with the same excessive values. by five, she already knew work to be the number one focus in her life. her mother kept busy as a neurosurgeon, her father slept nights in his recording studio. as a result, eunbi was usually tossed off to the hands of a church, their choir program becoming an integral part of her after-school routine.

✦✦✦

eunbi was fourteen when her parents announced their divorce.

her response came in the form of a wayward tongue, bouts of rebellious behavior with a cold glare to match. though she insisted that she didn’t care, that she’d seen it coming, the school counselor suggested otherwise. “it’s not uncommon for children to display behavioral issues after divorce,” he’d said in a meeting with her mother once. her father, as usual, hadn’t been able to make it. he’d made up some lie, concocted a story about the recording studio and an unfinished track. as it’d been revealed later, however, in the later years, it wasn’t music that so often distracted him from the family he had at home. his interest gradually faded with the dawning realization that his career could never be helped, and instead, he sought comfort in other places. other women, other homes, as if the original hadn’t been sufficient enough for him. and eunbi’s backwards response to the truth of it left her mother with no choice but to give her an ultimatum.

focus on her studies (read: keep out of trouble), or face being exiled to a school abroad.

exasperated, but never allowing anger to cloud her logic, eunbi easily chose the former. in a questionable amount of time, she’d left behind the underage parties and drinking, switched it out for after-school study rooms and dance studios instead. when her head wasn’t dipped far into a book, brain crammed with formulas and facts, eunbi would dance; it’d become her way to distress, and she was a natural, indeed; her body a mere instrument in its ability to project movement so clearly and efficiently.

after a year of discovering her new hobby, it’d been announced through fliers on walls that 99 entertainment was in search of new trainees. more than fear of missing out, eunbi’s desire to participate was born out of a love, a thirst, for competition. of course, she enjoyed the idea of celebrity life too, the riches and fame and attention and gifts. but competition, it motivated her even more, always fueling her drive to be the best. and when the time arrived, when rumors of an upcoming girl group began swirling around company buildings, eunbi knew she needed to prove herself. she knew just how to do it, too; set herself apart from the remaining group of aspirants; excel in the areas that they simply could not. for her? that was dance. she focused consistently on perfecting her technique, working herself to exhaustion, day and night, on far too frequent of a basis. but it all paid off in the long run, those arduous routines, immoderate perseverance.

upper officials thought her to be a perfect addition to the group they had envisioned, and just like that, she was added to the lineup of their new girlgroup: HEAVEN.

✦✦✦

when heaven made their official debut in 2010, eunbi was far too young then to know better. eighteen, naive as possible, idol life never seemed like something that could constitute as a problem. instead all she saw was the cameras, the flashing lights, the television screens that were responsible for the pretentious display of her group. and it’d been fascinating, initially. distracting, a breath of fresh air from her toxic home life, her mother’s growing alcohol habit. it was a rush to film the music videos, a rush to perform on stages and be pampered with the likes of stylists or makeup artists. as time went on though, eunbi’s happiness slowly diminished. she grew unhappy with heaven as a group, the image 99 had curated for them. she’d never been a fan in the first place, but now she was tired, disturbed even, by the recycled concepts and corny songs that failed to represent her. she wanted more, felt desire burning in the pit of her stomach, this need to demonstrate that she was more than just a background member in the group. she had the potential to be a grand soloist; the ambitious drive and creative mind; the sharp singing skills, even sharper dancing skills.

when the company allowed her to try her hand at solo music, eunbi thought, genuinely, that it would all work out in her favor. she’d taken advice from company executives, went with what they considered “safely sexy” but public friendly. it didn’t matter that, as usual, the sound and style didn’t align with her personal tastes. she cared about having the song be well-received, having a catchy hit to blow up the airwaves. what she’d gotten though, turned out to be quite the opposite. 99 had failed in its venture to properly promote her, and the public had been no better either, failing her as well when they refused to react the way she had hoped for. rather than praising or hyping her up, the song became the subject of minor controversy, with many people criticizing it for its provocative choreography and “cheap, lazy” feel. in turn, it suffered from mediocre sales and lowly-placed positions on music charts.

evie the soloist simply wasn’t profitable enough.

✦✦✦

there were many intolerable aspects about working as an entertainer; taxing work schedules, outré speculation. the strict image constraints and lackluster concepts that’d been played out one, two, three times too many. despite everything though, heaven remained at the center of eunbi’s universe, forever and always her treasure. the fact that her solo career hadn’t worked out only solidified the idea – she was nothing without the group, nothing if she couldn’t stand tall and proud as heaven’s evie. since the release of the debut track, and all of its glorious aftermath, longevity became one of her main goals and continues to be so in present day. aside from personal endeavors in both fashion and dance, eunbi found it necessary to maintain the group’s relevancy, often working with her parent’s zeal to ensure their good standing. she feared the impending waves of new groups, the threat they posed to her position, to her group’s. and it was true, perhaps, that she needed to let go. heaven was going to disband eventually, she couldn’t cling onto them forever. but she wasn’t ready yet. heaven had become too big of a thing in her life, the life vest that’d kept her from drowning. until she successfully found an alternative, a path as equally as fulfilling, she refused to stop.

#id.bio #id.99 #id.heaven #id.lee sunmi

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