#HE GOES IN THERE TOO SOMETIMES WHEN HE NEEDS SPACE 2 CHILL OUT WITH BUDDIES...<3 <3 <3

[eebie]

if u think about it eeber and skenpa could live INSIDE the spot like inside the place when he kicked himself into himself And they could stick their heads out like in your drawing when its time to eat or just chat or keep him company Kind of like his two weird little pets or maybe silly sidekicks. if u think about it that could probably happen

OMG YESSSSSSS FUCK I LOVE U GIRL

^ME WHENEVER I GET REMINDED MY WIFE IS NOT ONLY A HOTTIE MEGABABE BUT ALSO A GENIUS WITH A MEGAMIND AND HEART........

#HE GOES IN THERE TOO SOMETIMES WHEN HE NEEDS SPACE 2 CHILL OUT WITH BUDDIES...<3 <3 <3 #they could be like #projectiles LAUNCH out of 1 of his spots and maul the hsit out of whatever we hit Like chaincomp mario Or the plants #ravenous BEASTS #he needs an eeber and skenpa.. theyre the Mr president to his davesprite.... #my asks #my beautiful wife #i soooo have 2 draw htis Like in my sketchbok or something BLUSHES HARD #the spot

[dangan-meme-palace]

Do you find Saihara's characterization weird in chapter 6? Because I do :( He's become super confident, optimistic, and leader-like too fast, especially if you compare to ch5 and before...I understand that in the last chapter all protags get pumped up to end the killing game but...he's quoting Momota and he also developed a 'hunch' like him...even Harukawa says 'sometimes you're so much like Kaito' pls no I like Saihara the way he is, meaning, not like Momota :( but that's just my opinion! ^^

Shuichi's characterization is all over the place. It's not even like... "he's inconsistent because humans are inconsistent" or whatever, it's literally just that his personality changes whenever the narrative needs it to without anything but loose, barely-there excuses to try and justify why it happens.

Chapter 1:

No problems with believing in his detective work, he's actually quite shockingly confident in them for how much he downplays them.

His actual problem is not thinking his skills are where they should be according to professional standards, which is an accurate assessment if the rest of the game is anything to go by actually.

Calls Kaito a reckless idiot for doing something reckless and idiotic. This is the only time he does this.

Learns a lesson?? I guess?? The lesson was apparently supposed to be "don't be afraid to reach for the truth" but it came off more like "you shouldn't let everyone die just because you liked Kaede the most, picking favorites and having bias is bad because you have a duty to remain unbiased so everyone doesnt die"

Then everyone conveniently forgets that he was willing to let them die.

Chapter 1 was the best for his characterization except for the trial. I wish he had acted like this throughout the entire game.

Let him investigate. Dear god why doesn't the detective investigate, or even cast doubt?

Chapter 2:

Kaito is starting to become his Bro now. He's not super biased like in later chapters, but you can start to see it happening.

This is the chapter where he tells everyone not to let their biases get in the way of logic, which is funny considering what he's like in other chapters.

Big sad about Kaede, but a few of the characters (Ryoma, Tenko) comfort him so he's choosing to turn this tragedy into a growth moment. I guess it's kinda like what Chihiro did, except a girl had to die for it and he didn't get brained with a dumbbell at the end.

He's the nicest to everyone in this chapter. Don't worry, it won't last long :)

If he had kept the weird sort of optimism he had during this chapter plus the logical thinking instead of leaning into the angst he might've actually developed and Kaede's death might've been worth a damn.

Chapter 3

Maki gets the spotlight so there's not much to say except for the fact that he's gotten super awkward and is getting progressively dumber.

Honestly Maki is kind of right when she keeps calling him a dumbass for asking questions with very obvious answers.

Literally how the fuck did he ever solve infidelity cases when he can't even figure out shit that's this basic.

Smh.

Oh yeah, the odd hopefulness is gone now. It's buried next to my hope of him turning out to be an interesting character.

Put your hat back on if you're gonna angst again emo boy.

Investigation? Dont know her. I only know the Grind 💯 and hanging out with the Bros 😤👊

Chapter 4:

One of his worst chapters. I fucking hate this chapter.

Everyone patted him on the back before the trial and it felt shoehorned in. I'm not even sure why they did it honestly?

Kokichi = Evil

Kaito & Maki = Good

But dont worry guys, he's totally not biased or anything! (/s)

He's mega biased.

During the trial he has a lot of confidence, like the good kind he had back in Chapter 2. Especially when he lied and when he stood his ground against Kaito. He'll be punished by the narrative for going against Kaito, but for now I'll enjoy his limp-dicked rebellion.

Apparently he cares for Gonta except he never once talked to him during the main story and even insulted Gonta in his head during their FTEs. When did he start to care about Gonta? He didn't, but now he does I guess.

Chapter 5:

Another bad chapter. Hate this too

Officially graduated from Kaito's Bro to Kaito's Simp.

Also his confidence is entirely dependent on Kaito. When Kaito wants him to do something, he's sure Kaito's plan will work and gives him all of his support. If Kaito expresses displeasure, he's ashamed of himself and has no confidence. I-... y'know sometimes I genuinely worry about their dynamic.

Kokichi = Evil ×2 combo

No detective work or reasoning. Why would the gofer project want a cosplayer to go to space and preserve humanity? Or an ex murderer? Or an assassin? Or a detective? Are they going to be solving space crimes? Shuichi should have been so god damn suspicious- the MOST suspicious, even- but he's practically braindead at this point in the story.

Investigation skills, when will you return from the war?

Goes from suicidal to "uwu I'm a hopeful student of Hope's Peak Academy" way too quickly for someone with supposed confidence issues.

Seriously, how did he go from "the world has been destroyed and I cant fix it so I might as well die" to "yeah! we will definitely fix it! we dont know how yet, but we'll totally do it because we're Ultimates even though in Chapter 1 I didnt even think I deserved to be an Ultimate but shhhh" so quickly?

Kiibo and Shuichi kinda sounded like Kaede when they saw the Hope's Peak Flashback and it's so fucking weird because there's no justification for it

Chapter 6:

Literally what was this chapter

Why did it take Kiibo threatening to blow up the school to get him to investigate the mastermind again? 9 people have died since Chapter 1, but he acted as though he couldn't do anything about it. He even says he "can only help after people die", but Chapter 1 disproved that because he literally almost caught the mastermind without anyone dying so-

At least he investigated, I guess. It's sad that a detective investigating is considered a miracle, but here we are.

During the trial he's rapidly switching from hopeful to suicidal to hopeful again and it gives me so much whiplash, like god damn. Chill out a bit, buddy.

Much like the now-late Kaito, Shuichi tries to convince everyone to die with him to make some sort of stand against TDR. Somehow this worked and they also somehow didn't die and we aren't given justification for either.

The confidence came from the fact that the narrative needed him to be confident. That's it. There's literally no justification for this. There's no justification for anything, honestly.

What even was that ending, like what the fuck was that? None of their arcs got wrapped up at all...

So basically

Shuichi is confident but he's not but only when Kaito believes in him but he can stand against Kaito when he needs to and also he's not actually confident and Kaito needs to baby him. Shuichi is also not biased because he learned a lesson about that, unless your name is Kaito, Maki, or Kokichi, in which case he is incredibly biased to the point of putting the lives of other people on the line, but he wants everyone to survive because he learned a lesson about that. He's also incredibly dismissive of most of the cast in his head, to the point of being cold, but it should be noted that Shuichi really cares about his friends and is really nice and supportive of others. He's a big doormat except for when he doesn't want to be, unless it involves Kaito, because then he is always a sidekick except for when he isn't.

Hope that cleared things up! As you can see Shuichi is a very consistent character :) (/s)

-tech

#asks #defective detective #ive probably missed a lot but im going off my bad memory #i gotta rewatch the whole game again sooner or later #its been a while #but this is what i can remember anyway

[floorbed]

pen playlist tiem. brain full of thoughts i think this is my longest playlist ever . lyrics and annotation and sections under the cut for funsies heh

home

me and my husband - mitski

and i am the idiot with a painted face / in the corner taking up space / but when he walks in i am loved / i am loved / me and my husband we’re doing better / it’s always been just him and me together / so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow / and at least in this lifetime we’re sticking together

turf war - momma

the kings and queens are on the court / they’re sitting pretty on the floor

this charming man - the smiths

a jumped up pantry boy / who never knew his place / he said return the ring / he knows so much about these things / he knows so much about these things

utopia - cowgirl clue

living in a great utopia is quite nice is quite nice / living in a great utopia you pay the price you pay the price / living in a great utopia roll the dice kiss goodbye / living the dream living the dream living the dream

bubblegum bitch - marina and the diamonds

got a figure like a pin up got a figure like a doll / don’t care if you think i’m dumb i don’t care at all / candy bear sweetie pie wanna be adored / i’m the girl you’d die for / i’ll chew you up and spit you out / cus that’s what young love is all about

…

oh dear diary, i met a boy

(do the) act like you never met me - tv girl

the hidden kisses / the clumsy conspiratory glance / but i don’t really mind it no / i always liked the way you danced

it will come back - hozier

don’t give it a hand / offer it a soul / honey make this easy / leave it to the land / this is what it knows / honey that’s how it sleeps / don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ don’t be kind to it / honey don’t feed it it will come back

real men - mitski

little boys cry and look around for comfort and / always get what they want

song against sex - neutral milk hotel

and he said oh boy you are so pretty / enough to wrap tight in rice paper string / and when i finally kissed him / the whole world began to ring / lost like a bell that’s tipping over / with two cracks along both sides / and i knew the world was over / so i took a look outside

(running away before the trial and seeing the world for the first time vibes!)

exile, early party

april and the phantom - animal collective

i’m sorry april / but you’ll be fine till then / i’m the phantom / i’m the phantom / i’m the phantom

(Pens First Summoning Dot Mp3)

insects are all around us - money mark

(from pens very first introduction in session 1 when he was walking in the woods and was described like looking like a lil insect)

bug - alex g

and when you go there / you stay there / bug in the crosshair / you stay there

king of carrot flowers pt 2 & 3 - neutral milk hotel

i love you jesus christ / jesus christ i love you yes i do

you’ll miss me when i’m not around - grimes

if you don’t bleed then you don’t die / cross my heart and hope to fly / if you like it then you’ll make it out alive / if they could see me now / smiling six feet underground / i’ll tie my feet to rocks and drown / you’ll miss me when i’m not around

rich bitch juice (HANA remix) - alice longyu gao

don’t you dare talk to me / bitch

fool - moonbounce

you could’ve let me think im right / i could’ve tried to keep my cool / i could’ve followed my own rules / i could’ve used you like a tool / i could’ve played a fucking fool

isle

hooped earrings - the front bottoms 

and you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again / yeah you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again / and there are not so many options / there’s not so many ways that this could possibly end / so you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again

wicked boy - alex g 

real men walk / on the outside / on the outside / on the outside / and they take it for the team

black hair - alex g

it’s not what you are / it’s just what you did / don’t hang up the phone / i love you to death / eternal return / eternal return / eternal return / eternal return 

rabbit heart - florence & the machine

this is a gift it comes with a price / who is the lamb and who is the knife / when minas is king and he holds me so tight / and turns me to gold in the sunlight

oh ana - mother mother

i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god today / hop up on a cloud and watch the world decay

i am my own hell - teen suicide

i’m learning all kinds of tricks / how to drain the blood from my face

brick - alex g

i know that you’re lying / you think i don’t but i always fucking do

come back - alex g

made my promise and i’m keeping it for kicks / yeah i really didn’t think that it would stain like this / yeah i really didn’t think that it would stain like this

river of the night 

trick - alex g

(this is what his Contract Signing Dream sounded like that’s all)

call this # now - the garden

call this number now / if you wanna check it out / well just do yourself a favor and just call this number now / call this number now 

long way down - teen suicide

you’re a spoiled kid who’s never gonna get / anything that you deserve / i know this life’s gonna be just fine / but with any luck you know the next one’s gonna hurt

business man - mother mother

talkin bout the business man / devil with a sunday plan / buddy with a stupid laugh / just talkin bout the business man / pretty little baby / pretty little monster / went to the good school / left with honors

king rat - modest mouse

deep water / deep water / senseless denial / i went down like a rag doll rat of a child

oh lucky lucky lucky lucky me again / i said it looks like i’ve got to use my feet again / well i just spent my last one hundred dollars / god i’ll pay my bill again 

after dying and being saved

new gods - grimes

hands reaching out to new gods / you can’t give me what i want / but what do i know? / i wanna i wanna i wanna let go / i wear black eyeliner / black attire yeah / so take me higher and higher and higher

…

only brand new gods can save me

home again - carole king

sometimes i wonder if i’m ever gonna make it home again / it’s so far and out of sight / i really need someone to talk to and nobody else / knows how to comfort me tonight / snow is cold rain is wet / chills my soul through the marrow / i won’t be happy till i see you alone again / till i’m home again and feeling right

miracle - paramore

and have i told you / i’m not going / cuz i’ve been waiting for a miracle / and i’m not leaving / i won’t let you / let you give up on a miracle / when it might save you

(Pen And Ori. Pen Telling Ori He’s Not Going To Stay At The Castle [Bc He Couldnt Imagine Not Seeing Her Everyday.] Pens Naive Optimism + His Want T.o Make Her Feel Better Abt The Future and The World And Everything)

dinner and diatribes - hozier

i knew it from the first look of / the look of mischief in your eyes / friends are a fate that befell me / head is the talking type / i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me / what you’d do to me tonight

(Pen And Juni Anthem)

funny - the scary jokes

and i laughed and i laughed and i gasped and i cried / and i tried not to think of my love as a punchline / but i knew the truth would catch up with me sometime / and oh what a funny joke am i

(pen crying on the bed in castle ravenloft dot mp3)

pretty funny - dogfight (lindsay mendez)

isn’t it funny?  isn’t it funny?  aren’t you funny? / pathetically naive and desperate to believe you could always find some good / well you misunderstood or you’ve been dreaming / cus people are just cruel

(pen crying on the bed in castle ravenloft dot mp3 Part 2)

until it goes - john congleton

oh my vengeance i swear will be biblical

…

my bride my bride how do i silence / this restlessness inside me / inside i see it kneeling through keyholes / my bride i need no absolution / on this day of my execution / just stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me until the horror goes

(abandonment issues pen be like *stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me noises*. also one day i want pen to hurt everyone who has severely fucked with him and thats all [m****** and d******])

beautiful - carole king

you’ve got to get up every morning / with a smile on your face / and show the world all the love in your heart / then people gonna treat you better / youre gonna find yes you will / that you’re beautiful as you feel

don’t ask me to explain - of montreal

i’d like to marry all of my close friends / live in a big house together by an angry sea / am i the devil’s marbles don’t move on without me / who will be watching my body when i sleep / who will i believe in

(Pen Be Like I Love Ori And Juni And Alba And That Is My Disease. )

100 years - florence welch

i believe in you /and in our hearts we know the truth / and i believe in love / even the darker it gets the more i do / you try and fill us with your hate and we will shine a light / and the days will become endless / and never turn to night

...

a hundred arms / a hundred years / you can always find me here / and lord don’t let me break this / let me hold it lightly / give me arms to pray with / instead of ones that hold too tightly 

#mel talks #penance the jester #dnd tag

[ayediosmila-blog]

hi everyone i’m mini, i’m excited to play my new muse with everyone! as always, i wrote way to much, welp. if you get through this you’re a champ! 

(FEMALE. SHE/HER ) you know MILAGROS VENTURI, right? they’re TWENTY ONE and majoring in SCULPTURE/ARCHITECTURE? still nothing? well, they look exactly like BECKY G, so you can’t miss them. i’ve heard they’re really DEDICATED, but super MESSY too… it makes perfect sense that they’re a AQUARIUS. anyways, if you see them, tell them they left their PHONE in class and that i have it. ( mini, est, she/her, 23 )

Like this and i’ll im you to plot <3

⇢ STATS 

FULL NAME: Milagros Antonia Rivera De Costa Venturi

PRONOUNCIATION: MEEEE-LAH-GROSS

NICKNAMES: millie, meels, mil, mila, shorty,

AGE: 21

D.O.B : January 25th 1998

HEIGHT: 5′0

OCCUPATION: barista

ZODIAC SIGN : Aquarius

SEXUALITY: bisexual 

NATIONALITY: American

ETHNICITY: Mexican

BIRTHPLACE: oaxaca, mexico

CURRENT LOCATION: new york city, new york / seattle washington

LANGUAGE SPOKER: english, italian, portuguese, and spanish

⇢ ORIGINS

So milagros was actually born in oaxaca, mexico, but she was given up to her aunt who eventually gave her up to the officials.

mila was moved to different adoption agencies, and at two years old she ended up in one in mexico city where she met her parents. 

It wasn’t long after until mila moved to the USA, ending up in new york with her new family. 

Marco and Claudia Venturi were already parents to 6 boys - who were closer to being men at the point milagros showed up. One thing they didn’t have was a girl, and since they couldn’t get it the old fashioned way, they decided to just adopt instead. They had the means to do it anyway.

Marco Venturi is a retired politician, he’s had a very reputable career, and now since his retirement he works a lot with habitat for humanity and his ultimate goal is for inclusive spaces. 

Claudia De Costa Venturi is a fashion designer with a known reputation in europe, her brand DCVenturi became popular in the american market as well

The family lived in New York, New York City most of the time, but both Marco and Claudia wanted their kids to see the world, so they travelled often, and it became easier since a lot of their kids were older, so the only ones that would go where the younger ones.

If you were to ask Milagros what she remembered from Mexico, it wouldn’t be much. Growing up she didn’t feel different from her siblings, and her parents never made her feel like she ever was either. her parents didnt even want milagros to forget where she was really from, so often they would go on trips with her to mexico, and decided to keep her original name. 

⇢ BACKGROUND

to this day, milagros hates her long name, it’s super difficult to fill in on documents and it’s annoying when it comes to having fill out forms. She often goes by Mila, but Millie would be the second most nickname for her

she went to the best schools, often private where they had the uniforms, it was sort of a gossip girl situation with her growing up, except she was captain of the cheer team, and she was on other things like track team, prom committee, drama club, art club, music club. she was involved a lot because her parents put her in a lot of extracurriculars out of school too.

because her parents are influential, millie’s been on a couple papers, she loves to get dressed for night outs. fashion week is exciting for her, and she definitely sometimes got caught not in her best by random strangers. 

Besides her parents, she’s had to deal with the lives of her brothers, and they’ve all come out successful whether it’s owning a restaurant, being some kind of YouTuber, or even an everyday teacher. not to mention it sucked being the youngest and a girl with so many older brothers.

the Venturi kids had everything at their disposal, and as you can see, millie’s only problem was figuring out what she wanted.

you’d think millie knew what she wanted, right? not at all. honestly for her a lot of what she was doing was bc her parents made her.

when millie turned 18, she decided she wanted to reconnect with her biological parents alone, and as much as it made her parents uncomfortable, they agree to let her go alone. So for a few months, she lived in Mexico, with her cousin because alone didnt meant alone alone lol 

millie met her real parents, and that in itself was emotional. for the rest of her time in mexico she learned about the culture, the people, it was a big game changer for her.

she knew that she was different than her family, she saw it growing up, and there ofc were people who would tell her, in a way she went into a bit of an identity crisis.

⇢ POST-SECONDARY/PERSONALITY/NOW

She didn’t want to live in New York much anymore, kinda tired of a super busy city so she decided to go to somerset in seattle washington for sculpture and architecture.

her parents were surprised since millie could have gone to any school in the state, ivy league even.

even if she got into somerset a, she actually deferred for a year, so she’s only been at somerset for 2 years. 

millie decided on sculpture and architecture because she lives the idea of designing buildings and homes. after uni she wants to go abroad and help construct homes for those who can barely afford it, or somehow work together with Habitat for Humanity.

in her free time she really likes doing pottery, often you can catch her at uni after hours in the labs doing something. 

besides there, you can find her in a coffee shop nearby the university called Second Cup. it’s not like she needs money since her parents fought her to pay everything for her - mila just wanted to work, so she does as a barista and it’s really the only time she’s the most social. catch her doing some cute latte art with your drinks cos she’s bored. 

mila fortunately lives alone but she’s barely there, so the living room is spotless but her work room, cos ofc she lives in a two bedroom but she lives alone, sdfkjsadk her work room is what she calls ‘an organized mess’ and it’s where she’ll have her supplies and models. 

millie is very much go with the flow and down with everything when she’s not busy working or doing school stuff

she was very much involved in high school, and in uni she’s.. half involved? she’s a part of some clubs but not rlly, most of her time is spent in art labs or sketching in the library

she had a bit of a wild youth, and now she’s kind of chill but if you were to get her drunk, she’s a fun dumb, says really stupid stuff and laughs at everything. she kinda just wants to hug everyone. 

ppl call her perfect cos she has money, knows how to do a lot of things and millie hates it bc she has her own insecurities too

sometimes she can get snarky, especially if you’re on her bad side. she loves to argue, and even when she knows she’s wrong, she’s right. no questions. 

don’t hate her but she’s forgetful asf if it’s about everyday things. 

her favourite holiday is winter, she loves ice skating, snow, hot chocolate, peppermint. catch her apartment already have a christmas tree up while some christmas lifetime movie is on tv lol

she’s pretty much a sweetheart unless you piss her off lolol she’d love to pick someone’s brain over a cup of coffee.

if you give her a reason to dress up she loves it, if she has no reason you can catch her in sweats, especially if it’s cold outside.

when it comes to relationships, they were always hard for her since she wasn’t sure if they liked her for her money, her status or to gain some connection to her family. she’s dated people who are both rich or poor, and so far she’s unimpressed with everyone lol

her friends are.. a lot bc she’s rlly not picky with who she’s friends with when she probably should. 

⇢PLOT IDEAS/CONNECTIONS

neighbours!

met at a drunk and turn out to be in the same class

cousin!

childhood friend

exes good and bad

coworkers

could have met in the library, 

study group/study buddy

maybe they met at some club 

a connection where one is using the other

crush

fwb?

just

evERYTHING

but honestly i want all the plots!!

#ill be back after walking my dog #but here have this #im sorry it's long dfkjghdjgdf #somerintro

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Waver 1 - 13 (FINAL) | Prisma Illya 1 - 10 (FINAL) | Prisma Illya 2wei! 1 - 3

Another (and to be honest, the last) batch of impressions from the Fate/ project.

Waver 1

Well, this’ll be interesting. I’ve been hyping this show up for a while for myself, so let’s see how it goes.

Geez, this intro is like a dang movie! I’d love to see a proper Troyca movie! (<-Says the fan of Troyca.)

Wait, if it’s Kayneth Archibald, then is Archibald relatd to Archisorte? Or am I just making thing up here…? Also note Reines refers to Kayneth as “Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald”, possibly meaning Archibald is the middle name, since El-Melloi is a shared surname (or is that a title…?). That probably means Archibald =/= Archisorte and both are similar-sounding middle names. The fact Reines is Kayneth’s niece also explains things quite a bit.

Why is Waver upside down…? Won’t the blood rush to his head soon? (Sure, it allows me to ogle his hair more, but…logic rules more than my stupid whims, y’know?)

Interesting. You can see that although Waver grew out his hair, there’s two layers to it – the longer one in the front and the shorter one in the back. (I’m just curious because I like the hime cut – which is pretty similar - and long hair on dudes in general, in part because both are fairly rare.)

Okay, that explained my gripe with upside-down Waver. Thanks, Reines. (<-genuine)

Aw, Waver buddy, even at this stage, you’re plenty cute. Don’t ever change! (<- As you can see, I am an easily pleased person in most cases.)

Melvin who now???

Troyca’s comic animation rules! It’s too bad Idolish7 Second Beat is using chibis instead of this…

Professor Kayneth. I forgot he had a formal title. I wonder, does Waver - I mean, El-Melloi II – have that title as well?

I guess I should’ve known Saber had the capability to look scary, but…I never knew Saber could look so scary…

*cut to eyecatch* - *points at eyecatch* Okay, someone tried to save budget here, didn’t they???

Aw, friendship between fiction boys is cute…until it involves the puking up on blood on one end.

Waver is the OG underdog here…don’tcha think?

“…with several demands.” – Uh-oh…this is gonna be bad, isn’t it?

You need a Tuner for Magic Crests? (…Like a tuning fork, but a person?) *brow raised in suspicion*

…is it appropriate for me to say “Oh, good lord!” now? (Okay, I did that rather deliberately, but normally in these notes I’d self-censor it to be “oh, goodness” or something like that.)

Seriously, the black-haired dude in the Ionian Hetairoi is my favourite, even if only because he looks like Waver (and he’s really easy to spot, to boot).

Why is this in first person??? I’ve dropped entire shows based on their usage of 1st person cam! Room Mate and Makura no Danshi basically scarred me for life on that front…and both of those are TV shorts!

Hey, wait a second. This “use a quote on the titlecard” thing is clearly an Ei Aoki sort of thing to do. I mean, it’s in ID: Invaded as well…

Waver 2

*new blonde girl appears* - So this is the rumoured Animusphere girl (Mary), huh?

Bounded field, huh? I’m glad I chose to watch F/Z before this, then. Now I actually understand the (rough) mechanics of how that works.

There’s assassins and then there’s Assassins…*thinks about the Holy Grail War*

As it turns out, astromancy is basically astrology.

The one thing that bugs me about “Modern Magecraft” (there’s a similar concept of New Magic in Mairimashita! Iruma-kun) is…how is the magic “modern”…? Especially in a work like this, where the magic is based in arcane rituals and bloodlines…you really need to establish how the “modern” bit works.

Gray is facing away from the Animusphere girl (Mary), I noticed.

“When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” – Sherlock Holmes – Basically, the fact I’ve memorised this quote is one of the lingering impacts of my time in the Detective Conan fandom, as it can be used on things like quizzes, not just mysteries.

Can we please use proper English, Waver??? (Says me to a character whose name I still find nonsensical enough to not be proper English.) As I said previously, “whydunit” is modus operandi or motive…the new bit is “howdunit”, which would be the method.

I do believe the geocentric model was overthrown by people like Kepler.

Gray kind of looks like Saber with that hairstyle, come to think of it.

With the way Gray hides herself under that hood, it’s no mystery as to why guys love her…at least, I know ThatRandomEditor does. Of course, I’m heavily neutral on the whole affair because I don’t swing that way, but…you know…

LEMPC seems to stand for “Lord El-Melloi Production Committee”, if I’m guessing right.

I seem to remember there was a quote somewhere that said the only constant in this world was change…hmm.

Waver 3

They seem to keep calling Japan “the Far East” (or at least, Japan is part of the Far East). That’s a pretty antiquated term for a supposedly “modern” magic anime. I get vaguely peeved by the term “the Far East” because it causes people to take an oriental viewpoint on things and thus it’s kind of like people from the Anglosphere looking down on Asians. (I also get vaguely peeved by the term “Westerners” for much the same reason and “Caucasians” because it implies all people of the Anglosphere come from the Caucasus, which is false…then again, these niggles are specific to international studies, so I have a vested interest in explaining them.)

…Wow, that star-eyepatch girl is…really something, to be thirsty specifically for Waver’s Iron Claw. (Then again, with my weird tastes in things, who am I to critique her?)

Flitz von Erich. I was surprised to learn this guy actually exists…on Wikipedia, at the very least.

“Any lady should know about wrestling.” – I disagree, Luvia.

Blue furry electrical creature…I dunno how the zoology in this show works, but the fantasy series I’m reading as of the time I was typing this comment has a blue creature called a Raiju (literally “thunder beast” in Japanese, so it would suit the “Thunder” in the episode title). If it’s anything like that, I’d laugh myself silly.

This girl on the poster seems to be called Flan Noir (or something similar).

“…yellow, round, fluffy-smelling…” – What? Svin, you have no right to call a girl those words!

When is this series set if people don’t have phones as a standard? *Googles* Okay, if F/SN is set in 2004, then F/Z is 1994. That would make sense, actually. The internet as we know it was first used in 1995 and didn’t become widespread for home use until a few years later, as I remember having computers in 2004 (albeit the blocky ones with the dial-up).

I was looking at images for the source material and I think I know why I like Waver (aside from the fact he has long hair). Normally I like the boys whose appearances are hard to get right, such as En…Waver in the novels and manga for this series sometimes looks grumpy, sometimes he looks constipated and worst of all, sometimes he looks like Snape with a hook nose.

Okay, so I googled Caules to figure out who his sister was…and I got Apocrypha spoilers. See, his sister is Fiore, who is apparently in that series.

The videos got encoded funny again…

There seems to be a mystery around why Svin and Gray can’t be together…well, one deeper than just “Svin is gaga for Gray [for reasons we don’t know at this point in time]”.

Ha, the El-Melloi Class is basically just the Misfit Class from Mairimashita! Iruma-kun.

“Only the flesh was bitten off.”  

This Jupiter gibberish, I assume, is drawing upon the mythology of Jupiter – that is, Zeus – as the god of thunder and king of the gods (thus presiding over living beings).

The English is good on the bill, bar a space between “Mystics of magecraft”.

Norwich is apparently a “faculty” which the Modern Magecraft Theories guys – i.e. Waver – rule over.

Can you imagine Waver swearing? Since I had the volume off, I basically made him say “…if Sir Gueldoa had resorted to brute force, we would’ve been f***ed” in my head…and that was hilarious.

Aw, thanks 7Mononoke. “A cowardly thief sneaks away in the night. If you stride away, bursting with song, you are a conquering king.” That’s a quote from Rider himself.

So the Association has set positions for Masters in the War? Geesh…that must be hard on Waver to find out they’re closed, considering how much Waver pines for Rider.

Waver 4

I finally got the chance to listen to the ED last ep and now it’s the OP I can hear properly. This OP isn’t particularly impressive, considering it’s an instrumental (instrumentals always seem to have less impact for me unless I’m looking for something to chill to), but it does capture the London-esque spirit of the setting very well.

What’s up with this metal (?) maid off to the side, anyway?

“Good thinking to leave the door open…” – For some reason, even though it’s a completely different and much more benign context, this made me think of KyoAni and my heart sunk.  

Atrum Galliasta…I hate that man. He may look hot, but he was nothing but a b*stard to Medea.

Bolo ties…nrgh…Basically, ever since Arima wore a bolo tie, I’ve become fairly bugged by them. That’s why Bram’s bugs me.

Aw, Waver, buddy, plase don’t sacrifice yourself again. I read on the wiki you become a Servant’s vessel (specifically for Zhu Ge Liang), so keep your hopes up.

I’m seriously feeling ID: Invaded vibes from this episode, what with the lightning.

I suspect a locked room murder is going to happen soon, knowing the genre. Either that or some other crime.

Considering Fate/ was an eroge-based thing initially, these sex jokes…there’s probably plenty of them out there.

Well, it seems this series only makes sense in that non-Detective Conan way, i.e. you want to know how it all comes together and can’t necessarily figure it out for yourself until you know how the magic works. I’m randomly going to guess this is more Jupiter-based stuff and call it a day on that front.

Seriously, I never got what was up with nightgowns (or just pyjamas in general) having hats. You don’t need protection for your head at night…that’s what pillows are for, yeah? (The only reason I see a hat-like thing working with nightwear is a onesie and that’s meant to be part of the inherent appeal of the thing.)

Waver 5

I feel like Adashino is meant to be an Irene Adler-type figure…

“Peaceful Fairys” (sic)

Where did Kairi’s scar come from…?

The Black Dog was in Mahoutsukai no Yome as well, but this one looks a lot less inviting, huh?

It seems, like the name Rail Zeppelin implies (as “Demon Eyes Collection Train”), most of the people involved in this case have Magic Eyes (or whatever they’re actually called). I wouldn’t be surprised if Kairi had them as well, considering he’s wearing dark glasses in the middle of a thunderstorm.

“King Arthur is a dude, right?” - *laughs madly* They finally managed to parody their own bulls***! (Well, I’m not counting Carnival Phantasm or whatever else because this is the first time they threw a meta joke in there in the whole of this project, as far as I can remember.)  

Trimmau seems to be the maid’s name…huh. They never mentioned that earlier, I don’t think.

So what’s the difference between Fairy Eyes and Mystic Eyes?

Wait, does that even work…? The entire house is the murder weapon? That’s basically breaking the “secret passageway” thing on a larger scale.

So what’s Trevor’s motive…?

The dogs running towards the Workshop reminded me of the Hunger Games for some reason…must be the climax.

That fairy isn’t emoting much…

Oh cra-Wills is going to sacrifice himself, like Adashino was going to do! That’s the second time I’ve seen that in 2 days (the first was in the Hypnosis Mic manga about the Dirty Dawg).

Uh…Waver’s not particularly fit or fast, is he…?

Can you be paid for your case if your client is essentially dead…?

Adra? I read around and Adra seems to be a way to spell the location (or whatever it is) in the first case…which got adapted into a stage play, but not an anime. That’s probably what he’s (Waver) referring to.

Notably, the title is translated to “lance” but yari means spear…

Waver 6

I seriously wanna slap that pink-haired girl…Update: Her name is Yvette.

This is basically Gray fanservice…

If Gray = Saber and Saber =King Arthur…hmm…does it count as a girl’s party?

Homeland? Since Britain is Saber’s (aka Gray’s) home country, I think they meant “hometown”…I’d hav to listen to the Japanese to make sure, though.

I still think Waver is a stupid, or at the very least false, name for a boy, especially if he did come from Britain. That’s basically my one limitation on him as a husbando.

The red bit of the eyecatch was shapd like an eye…it did catch eyes in a sense, after all.

So Trimmau is sustained by magic.

Locked-room…or rather, bounded field…mystery time!

Luvia did mention wrestling in another episode…

I had to google that, but the Separation Castle is from the Adra case mentioned in episode 5. No wonder I don’t remember it…

“Are you suggesting there were faults…” (from Luvia) - Ooh, I was thinking the perpetrator was caught inside their own bounded field or maybe it was an outsider, but that works too, Reines.

Add calld Luvia out for her extravagance, LOL.

Catch-as-catch-can appears to be “no-holds-barred fighting”, particularly wrestling.

That case was both informative and possibly solveable by the audience. Both good qualities for a mystery.

If you summon the spirit again, is it the same Rider with the same memories? Or can you summon a different version of the same Rider with amnesia, much like Rin did with Archer? Update: Oh yeah, I did read this on the wiki at one point but then forgot about it. The next episode (7) confirms that Rider wouldn’t remember Waver if he were summoned again.

Waver 7

…C’mon, admit it, show. The glasses are not only there for plot reasons but to up Waver’s status as megane boy for the rest of this case. Not that I mind – I actually really like megane boys, but I’m nowhere near the love of Meganebu – but in the case of plausibility, I wanna poke holes into it.

Auction for which Mystic Eyes now…?

There’s a guy…with an elephant head…I know I shouldn’t be bugged by it, but I need the MST3K mantra right now.

This is gonna be a Murder on the Orient Express thing, isn’t it? All cases set on trains seem to take cues or make homage to it. (I may not be that proficient on Christie in comparison to Holmes, since Holmes was Conan’s inspiration, but Murder on the Orient Express I have read and I did secure an anthology of 4 Christie novels at one point specifically so that I could improve in this area.)

The main series never explained the bad blood between the Church and the Tower, did they…?

*sweatdrop* Let me guess…when Yvette mentions “multiplay”, she means a threesome, right?

How do anime people see out of those blindfold thing, anyway??? (Or is it that Leandra has Mystic Eyes that were sold off or otherwise tampered with?)

I believe the word is “palate”, Kairi (or subbers).

Anime characters being bagworms with their blankets is always appealing, no matter the gender. It’s funny and/or relatable, after all.

Does Gray get motion sickness…? Update: Seems I spoke about a minute too soon. She does.

Waver 8

How does Waver know that Adashino got the documents about the train? Is it because she was in all those places at all those times and he connected the dots?

This lady has heterochromia. Specifically, one is brown and the other is blue or green.

Hmm? I thought the character design was familiar for this. As it turns out, Jun Nakai (who did the character design for this) also did Gate’s, which explains it.

Dionysus is the Greek god of wine, IIRC. Hephaestion is, as (s)he explained, the confidante of Alexander the Great (had to google this one).

It’s hard to see before the brightly-lit scene where Olga reappears, but as shown, Waver seems to have cut off part of his forelocks on the left side.

What’s an Odo???...ooh, fanservice…*ogles*

The summoning of Hephaestion and Trisha’s murder may or may not be related…we just don’t know how, yet.

I think a Detective Conan Murder on the Orient Express-style mystery would be a good video ga-*googles* There’s at least one of them out there already (albeit only in Japan)...namely, this one. Spoke too soon.

Oh yeah…this is Olga’s new room, isn’t it? I almost forgot about that.

Update: I think this look at the Adra Separation Castle case is interesting. It’s similar to posts I would write, but done by a professional – namely Richard Eisenbeis of Kotaku and Anime News Network.

Waver 9

So if there’s a Servant…you have to find the Master.

Olga reminds me of Reines…kind of.

LOL, whoever thought of a zombie cooking show…?

This series really goes all-in on the zombies and the fake-outs thereof, huh? Dangit, Melvin, don’t scare us.

Melvin has a really odd relationship with Waver, huh? If you’re really insisting you’re “the only person to ever be able to hurt Waver”, I don’t quite see how you guys can be friends in the normal sense of the word.

Why would someone have a violin at a time like this…?

Interestingly, they don’t bother to do any fanservice of Caules. That scene with Gray and Yvette was fanservice for those who like them, but the only guy who’s getting to do any fanservice in this series is Waver himself…(what with him being naked and knocked out right now.)

“Sibyl” seems to be a synonym for “virgin”…(*whispers “Awkward…”*)

Update: After reading some of Marth’s posts on this series, I’m inclined to call this “Murders on a Train (with an Exploding Helicopter for Good Measure)”.

Waver 10

For some reason, there’s episode 0 – 9, then 11 – 13 on the service I’m using. Where’s 10?

I think Waver’s relationship with Rider is interesting because of the way I think of relationships myself. Waver has made it clear that he wants to see Rider again so he can basically prostrate at his feet all over again (and maybe win a wish and/or see Oceanus while they’re at it), but – hey, hear this! - I used to believe, when I was still an impressionable kid, all relationships, whether they be between friends, family or even lovers, lasted roughly in the same state basically forever (as in, friends stay friends forever, they’ll never be so far apart that they can’t kep their relationship alive etc. etc.)…Obviously, I was wrong and arguably, this change in thinking, plus the related changes in technology, are where my ability to fleetingly but passionate love both 2D boys and the series they come from comes from.

Wait, so the Child of Einasshe (sp?) is the forest, yeah? I don’t think I got that 100% straight.

I never thought the shield form of a Mystic Code could be used for snowboarding down a mountain/hill…whatever Gray just went down. I didn’t even know Add had a shield form, for that matter.

“[U]sual individual” – LOL. What a way to refer to Waver.

“Wait a minute!” – I’m just imagining Phoenix Wright all of a sudden. A Waver legal mystery series would be boring as all get out – I’m far less interested in the courtroom versions of mysteries and more interested in how the pieces fit together. (Update: Then again, I am a person who likes the action genre and courtroom mysteries don’t have much of that, which might also explain my choice.)

“…lacking the element of motive to begin with.” – Well, Waver’s not wrong…

I’m observing this apple and noticing someone skimped on the detail around the stem. Does anyone still remember Art Academy for the DS? After looking at some promo material for it, I basically learnt how to draw a proper apple (and nothing else, really). If an apple is just drawn as a circle, it doesn’t quite look like an apple up close. (Two of the main things I screw up on when drawing are perception and the colour of highlights, both of which are covered in something like an apple stem and the related indent.)

Oh goodness…I was hoping Karabo would keep his vision (or actual eyeballs)…but that’s gruesome.

I’m guessing, based on the wheelchair, that Waver’s still paralysed or otherwise not able to move around like normal. Update: Spoke too soon.

Someone encoded the video funny again…

Waver 11

What was that crossword thing…? A warding spell of some sort?

Is that an owl in the back?!

Stealth fighter…Rider wanted on, didn’t he?

Every time he appears on screen now, I basically curse Melvin. He’s entertaining to watch, sure, but he’s annoyingly prodigal (= wasteful). He’s basically Dice from HypMic at this stage (aka he’s the sort of person who’d bet away his own clothes, given the chance and incentive).

Look at the way Waver’s hair drags behind him as he walks…it’s gorgeous…

“Residual Image” (as translated in the title) is literally “the left-over image” (zanzou). Not surprising, but I find the exact combo of characters used interesting since it could be short for “nokoru eizou” (where the nokoru’s character is read as zan in the combo, as you can guess).    

Waver 12

Wow…this series really pulled something out of its butt this time, huh? “The guy without a heart”…no viewer would’ve known that actually referred to a character called Dr Heartless unless they knew of his existence somehow (the closest they would’ve been was having an inkling that this pointed to a name of the culprit).

There is an owl in the back of the auction room!

Ay? So what the heck is Pandemonium in this case?

“dotard” – Turns out this means “an old person, especially one who has become physically weak or whose mental faculties have declined.” You can’t say I don’t enrich my vocbulary through watching anime, huh?

I’m still wondering…why adapt case 7 of this series (Rail Zeppelin)? Why not case 1 (Adra)? Update: I don’t know where I pulled the number 7 from, since this is volume 4 – 5 of the series. Apparently some of the cases were anime-original though.

Waver 13 (FINAL)

Oh, Flat, you stupid…

Waver’s exasperated faces are great. No wonder Reines likes to toy with him…

I can assume Rail Zeppelin is a Ghost Liner, yes?

Can I guess that Adashino ~likes~ Waver…? Update: Turns out that’s not quite the case.

Ooh, Waver without his shirt is se-okay, I’m getting distracted. Seriously though, Waver never showed his Crest in F/Z. I never even knew what it looked like until now! The fact it’s such a simple design in comparison to his Command Seals is…kinda underwhelming, really.

I think there’s a bit of a pattern between Jakurai (from HypMic) and Waver…namely, they suck when it comes to drinking. (Also, of course, the long hair. Don’t forget it, never forget it.)

Shut up, Add!

For some reason, I felt like a lot of that last part, while getting closure for Waver, it almost had connotations of “I’ll meet you on the other side, Rider”…so it felt kind of sad, to be honest. That talk between Reines and Olga I don’t think I’d understand without Apocrypha and Grand Order, but I guess that’s to be expected in such a huge franchise. Anyways, moving right along!

Illya 1

I’ve been a bit worried about what I’ll have to subject myself to for the sake of Magical Girls…

Was that…Taiga?

Who’s Liz…?

Okusama, huh? (Okusama = someone’s wife, although it seems to be used in the plural here since I don’t think Kiritsugu and/or Iri are dead in this timeline.)

The subs I’ve got say Shiro is adopted here too (when it’s not in the Japanese), although I wonder exactly how much of UBW is going to be true in this anime…

Hmm…a bit of digging reveals Luvia’s not a Master. So throwing out Lancer is really just a joke on how Lancer gets roasted early on in Grail Wars, right?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…squick, much…(Thank goodness the source I was using edited out the loli fanservice, so I can tolerate this series a lot more…but still, suggesting you have a romance with your step-brother, even if it’s known you’re not related from the beginning, is…you already know my feelings on that, based on my reaction. Shiro is, what, 15? About twice Illya’s age!) Update: Okay, so he has no confirmed age in Prisma Illya, but he’s 17 in F/SN so I’d assum the same or similar, seeing as he attends the same school. It’s fine if it’s platonic, but this is clearly an Onii-chan, daisuki! thing the likes of which Oreimo throws down! Thank you for calling it out though, Ruby.

Oh my gosh, this looks like the Rhongomynaid (Detective Waver) and Excalibur (or whatever Saber’s Noble Phantasm is called) summoning beam! LOL!

Ruby, you lech! Don’t go praising the angles! *shakes fist* (Seriously, what if magical girl mascots were paedophiles…? *blank face* Welp, considering what’s out there on the internet, I wouldn’t be surprised if a hentai or something had such a concept.)

Hmm? Turns out the word for Servant means something like “celestial hero”. Makes sense.

Nice callback to Saber and Shiro!

Illya 2

I thought Illya would say that her parents are dead…turns out the show’s not that grimdark (to the point where it wouldn’t set the show after Kiritsugu and Iri’s deaths), huh?

Do the sticks have a gender? The subs said “she” for Ruby…

LOL, it’s Rider. I thought Lancer was gonna get his butt kicked all over again (thinking more along the lines of CCS).

It’s Gay Bul-I mean, Gae Bolg! (I’ve been reading TV Tropes again…can you tell?)

This episode was pretty pedestrian. I like it more than the first one.

What’s up with the CGI…?

Oh! Bunbun, who does Yuki Yuna! Update: They only did the illustrations for some of the series. They also did SAO illustrations, although that’s of less significance to me.

Illya 3

The sticks do have genders!!! That’s like claiming Jesus for kakera with Mudae! (Yes, that’s possible. I got him in one server.)

The power of fujoshi…is amazing! How did it get to a girl who’s so young?!

These angles are a bit disturbing…

“Casao”, LOL.

Magical girl nakama, huh?

Illya 4

MST3K mantra!

Whose quote is that again…? “Don’t think, imagine”? Update: It turns out to not be anyone’s quote at all, if Google results are to be believed.

Uh-oh! Saber Alter!

Illya 5

Padding the episode already…?

The mist is a quality of a Berserker, right?

Geez the angles piss me off…

These sticks have brains???

Can you call it teamwork if they’re always complaining about each other?

Illya 6

More padding…

Illya’s UBW!

Geesh, that last-minute shot of Rin and Luvia popping out of the ground scared me for a bit…

Illya 7

*sigh* It’s the sick episode…

I recognise the vacuum cleaner. I have the same one at home.

*sigh* Random fanservice of elementary school girls. This is what gives anime a bad name.

*Sapphire pulls out a USB port* - Ohhkay, is that stick fanservice, in a sense…? Because that’s awkward too.

Maids went out of fashion years ago…

“Lyrical Radical Genocide” - I think this Lyrical Radical things is parodying Nanoha.

Based on the cloak, it’s an Assassin.

“Listen, if you aren’t careful, you’ll die!” – Yep, because people die when they are killed. I almost missed that meme for a bit.

Illya 8

Illya’s still reeling from Miyu’s talk, huh?

I noticed it said tomoda(chi) in the background at one point.

Does Miyu exist in any of the alternate universes?

Ah, there’s yuujou (friendship) in the background as calligraphy.

I think the video got encoded funny again…

Geez, complaining about boobs? The series got worse…oh, I forgot Shiro was around in this series.

…who’s left? There’s been Saber, Archer, Lancer, Assassin, Rider, Caster and…who? Berserker, that’s who.

Illya 9

Ohhhhhhhh brother, not more bath scenes…

Iri looks almost exactly like she does in the Eiznbern Consultation Rooms! (I found those around and watched them today.)

Thank goodness the fanservice is censored…

I never realised Berseker had heterochromia until now…

One thing that I assume makes Saber’s outfit look nice to thos that like girls is the window in the top…but it goes to waste on Miyu, LOL.

I find it interesting Illya has all these concerns – the ones (or similar ones) Iri harbourd in F/Z.

Hey, the bridge! This is the bridge where Rider dies inn F/Z, yeah?

The ED looks different this time…  

Illya 10 (FINAL)

E-Eep…loli fanservice…

Now Miyu is basically what Waver is to Rider, no doubt about it.

Bulls***! Speak of the devil! I was wondering what Waver looked like in the Illya style, because I read on the wiki he makes a cameo in season 2, and…here he is. Didn’t expect him in season 1, though.

Another new ED animation. I find it interesting they’ve never once had to recast any VAs throughout the entire existence of Fate/ anime…not that I know of, anyway.

Hiroyama Hiroshi is the original Illya creator.

Okay, that’s the end of one season. I feel kind of fatigued since I finished the Eiznbern Consultation Rooms today as well, so I’m going to take a break from watching more Illya until it’s necessary to watch again in a few posts’ time.

Now that they’ve collected the cards, I’m wondering what the series intends to do next…

Illya s2 Pt 1 Ep 1

They clearly skimped on the budget when Shiro was leaving the house…

I keep forgetting Illya is meant to be German…

That bad English…is actually there in the ep. title…

Oh great…schoolgirls talking about erotic swimsuits…

This s*** is what you call “Class-S”! I have no interest in it, because I don’t swing that way! (Sorry, yuri fans…)

The problem with series that aren’t 100% made with you in mind is that your favourite characters might look ugly…that’s especially the case with En, Jakurai and Waver.

Ryudou Temple, eh? Let’s hope Assassin still looks good.

I don’t think I’ve seen that before…namely, being able to hear what’s going on outside the transformation while it’s happening.

Now this 2 Illyas thing…this is new, alright.

Illya s2 Pt 1 Ep 2

LOL, what a horoscope.

Truck-kun! I don’t think Illya would make a good isekai protag, come to think of it.

Who is this nurse? I feel like she’s from some other part of the Nasuverse… Update: My guess was right. That’s Caren Hortensia, protagonist of Fate/hollow ataraxia and Kirei’s…uh, daughter. I know he had a wife. We never met said wife, but seeing the daughter really drove that fact home.  

Uhhhhhhhh…okay, now the lesbian loli scene just made things go off a cliff for me. I’m not against lesbians or yuri – to each their own – but that scene was clearly meant to be pleasing to a certain audience.

How does anyone kill anything gently…?

Ohhhhhhkay, strike 2 for loli fanservice.

I seem to remember…that’s right, Alice from the [something] no Kuni no Alice series was evaluated on her coffee-making skills (by Julius, I think it was). That’s why I’m thinking of Alice when I see Luvia praising Miyu on something similar.

Wa-hey! It’s Rin’s Azoth dagger!

Well, the mechanics of the transformation are also something you have to think about. I’ll give the show kudos for that.  

Illya s2 Pt 1 Ep 3

Can we not with the whole “Onii-chan, daisuki!” thing?! That’s it! That’s the last straw! I’m finishing this episode and aborting early so that I can preserve my dignity…and get some proper sleep for once.

The fact Miyu thinks Shiro resembles her brother must not be a coincidence…(I’ve become far too Fate/ savvy, haven’t I?) Update: It seems I was right. Apparently, Miyu was taken in by Kiritsugu in a certain universe, but apparently this is a bunch of spoilers.

Genki na aisatsu was in the back.

This is just getting worse and worse…

So now Kuro’s name is Kuroe (Chloe), huh? Anyways, good riddance, loli fanservice! So long! I won’t miss you one bit!

#lord el-melloi ii-sei no jikenbo #Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files #fate/kaleid liner prisma illya #Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya 2wei!

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 110: Onion Gang

“No more weirdo friends.”

There have been a handful of Steven Universe episodes that I only watched once, didn’t like, and didn’t watch again until reviewing them for this project. Time has been kind to many of them: I’ve come to appreciate Ronaldo (especially in Rising Tides, Crashing Skies, which I was super down on) as well as Say Uncle and The New Lars. I don’t necessarily love all these episodes now, but they’re a lot better than I once thought.

But yeah sometimes my first impression is right on the money.

Onion Gang is the most boring episode of the series by a country mile. The show has meandered before in the likes of Cat Fingers, Steven’s Lion, and Open Book, but these stories at least resolve in interesting ways. Looking forward, Escapism has even fewer words than Onion Gang, but it’s designed to simultaneously add to Steven’s many ordeals and act as the calm before the storm (and it’s also, y’know, watchable; silence can be a good thing, ask any episode of Samurai Jack). But Onion Gang is relentlessly uninteresting throughout.

The glacial pace isn’t helped by comedy bits falling flat at a rate that’s almost impressive. I try pretty hard to find things I like in episodes I don’t, but there’s literally nothing here for me. That is not easy. Especially considering how much of a sucker I am for Onion, slapstick, and weird goofy side adventures. This should be right up my alley, but hoo boy is it not.

Still, I’ll give it a try: the most generous reading of Onion Gang is that it focuses on Steven misunderstanding Onion, and if you squint, you can draw a parallel between his assumptions about Onion and his assumptions about Rose (both silent, mysterious figures in his life) being proven wrong. False narratives are a recurring theme in Steven’s arc, and another one pops up here. But even if that broadest of strokes is an intended connection, it doesn’t stop Onion Gang from being a catastrophe.

The only Onion Pal that leaves any impression is Garbanzo, and the impression is that Garbanzo is the worst character the show has ever produced. Villains like Kevin and Aquamarine are horrible, but that’s the point. Irritating secondary characters like Ronaldo and Lars have actual depth, and otherwise further the plot and are reliable for decent humor at times (it’s a shame that only one of them grows, but still). Garbanzo is a kid who shouts the word “Garbanzo” as if this is inherently amusing, and uh that’s it. The joke isn’t funny the first time, and doesn’t become funny through brute force repetition. It’s just annoying.

Squash, Soup, and Pinto are...there? They mostly exist for the gag of Steven naming all of them, a continuation of his unusually domineering presence in Onion Gang. Because oh yeah, on top of everything else this is a dreadful Steven episode. It’s not Sadie’s Song, because his presumptuous attitude doesn’t cause actual harm, but this is a bad look on a hero whose powers are supposed to be based on empathy. His narration of Onion’s actions mostly acts as another gag, and like Garbanzo, it’s not a funny one, but that doesn’t stop the episode from repeating it ad nauseam.

Steven’s weird behavior doesn’t stop there. The overlong go-kart scene ends with Steven seeing Garbanzo spray ketchup on himself, then instantly forgetting he saw this and openly wondering if Garbanzo is hurt. Which makes this the dumbest Steven has ever been. It makes zero sense that he would be bamboozled by something he saw faked with his own eyes, to the point where the gag itself becomes confusing: this would be like if he saw Amethyst eat his dinner then asked where his dinner went, it requires Steven’s intelligence to plummet so perilously that it confounds what we’re supposed to find funny about the joke in the first place.

But the most bizarre misfire by far is Steven declaring that he’s “the lonely boy with no friends his age” when Connie Maheswaran exists. She’s busy (as is the underused Peedee), but our hero makes the flying leap that this means he’s utterly friendless. This is a kid defined by his ability to make friends. He saves the ocean once and the planet twice by making friends. The entire show hinges on his fundamental friendliness. This plot point is ludicrous, even when we take into account that Steven is being annoyingly melodramatic.

A nitpick, but one that fuels the Ronaldo-level conspiracy theorist in me, is that Connie was prepping for school in Buddy’s Book and is attending school in Mindful Education, so if she’s shopping for school supplies in Onion Gang then either she’s doing it super late (which doesn’t sound like something she or her mother would ever allow) or this episode, which mind you is stated to take place as summer ends, should've aired between the two Connie episodes. The conspiracy theory is that Onion Gang would’ve looked even weaker when shoved between two episodes about what good friends Steven and Connie are, so it got moved to settle between two Crystal Gem stories.

I think that it’s theoretically possible to make a good episode that evokes unambiguous pathos from Onion. But considering the character works because he’s this strange, menacing force of nature in an otherwise pretty normal population of humans, I’m not sure he’s a character that needs the depth. Onion Friend hit a sweet spot of making him grow a little, but maintain his creepy charm. Onion Gang goes further, but in doing so removes everything interesting about Beach City’s resident weirdo. Gone is the kid who two episodes ago was robbing the arcade with a crowbar and a bandit mask. Here instead is an odd but sensitive kid whose mischievous friends somehow render him less mischievous than usual. It’s bad enough to have a boring episode, but a boring episode with Onion as the focus? Again, it’s almost impressive.

There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of any other Onion-centric episode if Onion is your jam. There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of any other Steven-centric episode barring Sadie’s Song if Steven is your jam. There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of rewatching Last One Out of Beach City if being charmed by friendship is your jam. There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of Buddy’s Book if thematic resonance in regards to false narratives is your jam. There’s no reason to watch this episode instead of any episode of Craig of the Creek if kids playing outside is your jam. Only watch Onion Gang if you’re a glutton for punishment.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Part of me wants to rank this higher than Fusion Cuisine and House Guest, where I find more insulting mischaracterizations. But both of those episodes have enjoyable elements that are weighed down by lousy depictions of Connie and Greg; Garnet’s a riot in the former, and there’s a sweet song in the latter despite being muddled by context. Whereas there are no real bright spots in Onion Gang. It’s an unbearable eleven minutes that I’m never going to watch again.

Sadie’s Song is worse because it’s the worst Steven episode in the series and it misses the mark so much, and it’s important to Sadie’s arc so it’s harder to skip, which makes me resent it more. Island Adventure is worse because its moral is that abuse is a reasonable method of communication. But that’s all that’s stopping Onion Gang from reaching the very bottom.

The good news is that this is it for my No Thanks list, and while I might’ve had a bit of fun dissecting why I dislike Onion Gang so much, it bears saying that 6 stinkers in 180 episodes and a movie ain’t shabby.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

#onion gang #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

[cygnahime]

FFX Relivebloggening Part 3

Meanwhile, back in Kilika...

What was Dona intending by coming back to the Cloister? She was apparently looking for Yuna, and it's not like she knew Tidus wasn't an official guardian. Did she finally think of a comeback and actually have the guts we all wish we had to actually go back and say it? The Kilika Cloister of Trials is always the hardest for me. Every time, I forget a step or get one out of order. This time I forgot which type of sphere needed to go into the pedestal for the Destruction loot. Tidus, as usual, is the only one who finds the fayth creepy. Also, "willingly" may be a stretch - or an outright lie. It's not like there are release forms on file. They seem relatively chill with it now, but then again, they are also asking for help with dying. I'm not talking to Lulu as much as usual, because I want to keep my affection with her low. It's odd, coming off playing Tales of Symphonia where Colette gets a massive affection boost at the start, that it's so easy for the canonical romance to not be the person you get the optional dialogue with. At least for me, it's usually Lulu. (It's because she has so much interesting dialogue in the early game. I often go straight to her to chat, and up goes that affection value.) It's not that Tidus craves being the center of attention, exactly, but he's used to it, it's part of the world-as-he-knew-it, and seeing everyone focused on Yuna reminds him of how that's not the way anymore. I always save like crazy on this boat ride, because I will get the Jecht Shot. Tidus is learning to take the easy route of saying he's toxin-brained, but Yuna has never taken the easy route in her life and doesn't mean to start now. She's also...the only person in the world who actively says she believes in Tidus and his Zanarkand. (Also, flirting again. That's how people flirt, right? Say they'd like to see your home and stuff?) (Tidus definitely wants to flirt back, but unfortunately, well, "As if I had a place to show her.") It's possible to miss that conversation with Yuna entirely, or not go up the stairs to listen to Wakka and Lulu. I did the former last time I played, so I made sure to do it now. Lulu wants someone to complain with, but Wakka's too easygoing to get a good kvetch session going with. I don't entirely blame her; a lot is happening, and she's under a lot of stress what with Yuna's impending death and all. "Be discreet." Lulu, this is Wakka you're talking to. No, that's not fair, Wakka can be discreet...ish...sometimes. "Sin just takes everything away from us." And of course he's not just talking about their parents, but about Chappu, and Yuna, and everyone else they've lost or are expecting to lose. An NPC says "Sin's attacked Besaid so many times I lost count"; they've probably lost friends then too. And back to Jecht, as I flex my proto-QTE fingers. This is a straight-up memory, and he does not come off well, even though I think he's...trying, or upset that he doesn't know how to try. I think Jecht is the kind of father who thinks he must be doing okay because he's not hitting his kid the way he was hit. He doesn't realize that emotional damage also fucks people up. One reset later: meanwhile, Tidus has recognized more fully that the way he was treated was wrong, and his response is to avoid it in how he treats others. In contrast to Jecht saying no one else could do the Jecht Shot, Tidus says, "Anyone can do it if they try." Even though in blitzball, only Tidus can in fact ever learn the Jecht Shot. I checked. Yuna remembers a lot about Jecht for someone who was seven - but then, she was probably trying as hard as she could to remember the last time she would ever have with her father. All this time, and so few people have ever known that guarding a High Summoner is a death sentence. Yuna still assumes gossip would have told her if Jecht were dead - and Auron, even though neither of them have been seen in Spira since Braska died. Tidus feels like something bad's going to happen. Buddy, this is Spira. Something bad is always going to happen. Tidus is so happy to finally be in a place with a lot of people. He's a city boy at heart. I really love the announcers; they make the world feel so lived-in and "normal". I love patter like that. I mean, I also want to glare at them for badmouthing my Aurochs, but you know. Different parts of the brain like different things. Introducing: the Zombie Space Pope! And not one of your modern popes, either. One of your serious kingmaker popes. Although, I guess he's just fully king, since the maesters appear to be the holders of all temporal power in Spira as well. (Except for the Al Bhed.) Nothing will ever make Seymour's clothing make sense. Nothing. Somehow, Seymour could tell that Yuna's a summoner in the midst of the crowd. At least, he seemed to zero in on her very intently. Creep. When I was a kid, I thought he was creepy, but I didn't have a sense of the age difference. As a 30-year-old, someone who's around 27 professing interest in a 17-year-old is double creepy bad. I mean also he's planning to use her death to destroy the world, but. You know. There is only one Auron, Tidus. No one has double names in fiction. It's against the rules. The Psyches Tidus talks to definitely understand him, but pretending not to means they don't have to respond to people, especially if they're rude. Yuna is clearly angling to hold hands here, and Tidus just does not notice. "Hey what if you whistled for me like a taxicab?" "...Not what I had in mind but okay." (Of course they manage to make this heartrending later.) To Tidus, this is "a pretty big town"; to Yuna, this is a city, the second-largest in the world. Cultural context is everything. Yep, Tidus, you thought you were famous before. Back there, there were still plenty of people who didn't care about blitzball. Here, it's this or studying scriptures. Forever amused by how the building they walk into is clearly labeled, "Bar", while the building next door is labeled "Cafe". Maybe there's a reason you didn't find Auron there... I assume Yuna got "kidnapped" by someone overhearing her asking about Auron, saying they knew where he was, and leading her off. I assume she was too polite and didn't want to kill anyone, or she could definitely have Valefor'd them to smithereens. (Maybe a Silence Attack was involved. Does Silence cut off summoning?) Don't ask about blitzball physics. Or biology. Or...anything, really. Just destroy your opponents. Was claiming to be holding Yuna hostage for the game a cover to avoid admitting that they were really kidnapping the summoner for her own good? Seems weird. I have to assume the "Psyches" in this game are ringers relying on "all Al Bhed look alike", because there's no way the Aurochs got that many goals on Nimrook at level one without their best forward. Lulu just fucking. teleports onto the boat. She has no feet and therefore cannot jump. Among my favorite exchanges in this game: "I hope you hurt them." "A little." There's definitely something to be said about Yuna being mixed-race with the complicated way actual mixed-race people are treated in Japan (and the US, for that matter). Buttttt I am not the person to say it. I'll just gently whisper that Yuna is matrilineally Space Jewish. One of Lulu's flaws that she has to get over during the game is that she's dealing with her grief over Chappu by comparing everyone, especially Wakka, to him. Maybe Chappu was a better blitzer than Wakka, or would have been fine after having what I assume are several cracked ribs from illegal tackles, but the fact that Lulu says it in no way means that it's true. #WakkaDefenseSquad2k19 That said, what Wakka has to get over is his racism. Which is obviously a much bigger issue. It seems almost benign here, since it was in fact Al Bhed who just attacked Yuna, but...it gets worse. I'm probably going to have to see this cutscene several times. But I will be victorious. I am, however, impressed that Lulu can catch Wakka when he collapses (Yuna plz heal his ribs) without going down with him. He's a big guy and most of it is muscle. And the inscription actually says, "To the memories of childhood - farewell," which is particularly touching and, of course, sad. If this were fencing, a decent referee would give Bickson a black card for unsportsmanlike conduct. (For those of you who are unaware, a black card means you have to leave not merely the event but the venue. Non-participants such as coaches can also be black-carded.) First try: kept the score tied 2-2 in the first half, got Tidus the requisite level so he can use Jecht Shot. Got off a Jecht Shot early in the second half and kept the Goers from scoring until Wakka came in. Aaaaand I got Wakka the ball at the four-minute mark for our fourth goal and victory! I AM SUPREME! I'm not saying I would have realized I was gayce a lot sooner if not for that FMV of Auron slipping his arm out of his coat, but I'm also not not saying that. So cool! Auron is not cool. This is an important fact to know about him. He seems cool, but internally he is panicking 50% of the time and sad and gay the other 50%. But I was a teenager and didn't know that competence is fake actually. Spiran ecology count: another dog, happily observing the Aurochs' farewells. Speaking of said farewells, they're kind of unnecessary as I will be getting Wakka back on my team the very second I have an opportunity. Tidus is...not entirely wrong about this all being Auron's fault. I mean, on a macro level it's not since he's just doing the best he can with this shitty situation, he didn't create the situation, but on a micro level he definitely did toss Tidus into Sin's magic traveling sphincter. Like, this was definitely in the plan, although it goes much better than he has any right to expect - he was probably expecting to pick up Tidus and Yuna separately, not find them already buddy-buddy. I really respect Auron for telling the protagonist some facts at least earlier than your average protag gets to know what their father has become. Which is a chronic protag problem. He's also gently patting Tidus on the back, which is about the limits of his emotional support skills. He tries, but... Auron, when he's done being a cagey bastard, correctly identifies Lulu as the One To Talk To if he wants to receive information. She has the map, the color-coded notes, and the safety pins stuck to the inside of her purse. She's the big sister I wish I could be. "I understand. I think." Tidus does not understand, because Yuna is deliberately not telling him the important part: she needs to practice smiling when she's sad about how she's going to die soon and people are so encouraging and happy to see her do it. And now, the scene that everyone loves to make fun of. Look, people, it's not bad. If the ha-ha-ha were supposed to sound like normal laughter, that would be comically bad, but it's not. It's a couple dumb trauma babies fake-laughing badly until they give themselves the giggles while their friends watch in confusion! "I want my journey...to be full of laughter." She may not have much time, but Yuna wants to pack in as many good things as she can, while she can.

#Final Fantasy X #FFX #Cygna Fantasy X

[lifeinahole27]

CS ff: “Wait for the Moonrise” (3/10) (au)

Summary:  Emma doesn’t remember who she was before she was found in the woods, but she knows that she has a few close friends, a good job, and a loyal cat that greets her every day when she gets home from work. What she doesn’t know, however, is that her past is about to catch up to her in the strangest of ways. She learns quickly that not everything is as it seems, not even her cat.

Rating: E

Content warnings: smutty smut, brief mentions of the loss of a hand

Chapter specific content warnings: Mentions of EmmaxOther characters and Red Swan, but only in passing.

A/N: My thanks are the only notes I have: to my beta, @captainstudmuffin, I owe my first born; to my artist, @clockadile, I owe at least ten fruit baskets; to the two lovely mods who had to put up with my weird brain, @phiralovesloki and @sambethe, I probably owe gold bars or something. Sorry guys, I ran out of stuff, and don’t actually have any of the above-mentioned stuff. Back to Storybrooke we go!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

Catch it on Ao3 or FFN! And catch @clockadile‘s artwork HERE!

Over the years, Emma does her best to move on with her life. The first year is the hardest, what with trying to relearn her own life and all. But the development of a stronger friendship with Regina goes a long way in making the transition easier.

She spends her twenty-sixth birthday with Graham and Regina at a local dive-bar. Graham Humbert is not only a stand-up boss and sheriff, but also a fantastic man to call a friend. And Regina, while not her bestie when she came home from the hospital, soon took that position in her life.

“Make a wish,” Graham says, trying to pretend his hand isn’t curling over Regina’s knee under the table, but Emma knows better. The fact that her two best friends are banging on the sly is weird but manageable. The amount of times she’s caught them sneaking around at this point is ridiculous, and the fact that they keep hiding the fact that they’re sleeping together is even more absurd.

Oh right, wish, Emma remembers, staring at the cupcake they’ve placed in front of her. There’s a single candle in it, a yellow star that makes her smile even though there’s a pit of loneliness eating up her stomach.

I wish I didn’t have to be alone, she thinks, holding onto the words tightly for a minute before blowing out the candle.

“What’d you wish for?” he asks.

“I wished that you two would just go home already and bang it out,” she says flippantly, eyeing the lack of space between their bodies on the bench across from her.

“Emma!” Regina exclaims, scandalized as ever, but Graham just throws his head back and laughs.

“That is a wish I can grant, if this one will allow it,” he replies, a twinkle in his eye as he looks over at Regina. He must do something under the table because there’s a blush lighting across her cheekbones and she clears her throat before turning back towards Emma.

“On that note, I believe it’s time for us to leave. Do you want Graham to drop you off on our way to his place?”

She nods, too weary to contest the need for a ride. She keeps that hollow to herself, picking up her cupcake and cradling it close on the way home. She stashes the candle in her cutlery drawer and forgets about it until the following year.

If pressed, Emma can barely even remember that she was found wandering around in the woods the day after her twenty-fifth. After a year and a half of appointments with Dr. Hopper, she’s able to finish her time in therapy with at least most of her memories intact.

Most of, Emma thinks, is good enough. She still struggles to remember some of the milestones, not really remembering things like aging out of the system or learning how to drive.

But she remembers Graham handing her a badge and a uniform a couple years ago, and she remembers hauling a box of her clothes into the bedroom, wiping her brow as she looked around at the sparse, pre-furnished apartment she had just leased as her own.

There's something Emma doesn't remember, though, and it is companionship. In all the memories she's regained, she never remembers having someone. She knows she's not a virgin, knows that she knows what sex is, and that's less from any tangible memory she has and more of an intuition thing.

Emma has dreams of passion. She's woken with sweat on her brow from something just out of her grasp. She sits up in bed after those nights, with her eyes closed, trying her best to hold onto just one thread of the dream before it vanishes again. There's no actual evidence that this is a memory of hers, but there's nothing to say that it isn't. Besides, when she wakes from these dreams, it's almost as if she can still feel her partner between her thighs, and she aches with want to feel it again.

On her twenty-seventh birthday, Graham and Regina once again duck out early on their own conquests to find relief from their self-made sexual tension. Emma is left with the few co-workers she's happy to spend her time with, a couple spare friends, and swaps a time and day for a possible date with August, who admits that he's had a thing for her since Emma came into the woodshop he works in with his grandfather.

Maybe I need to be dating more, Emma thinks on her quiet walk back to the apartments. For the past two years, she’s only had herself for company in the bedroom, and that’s been okay. It’s okay. But it’s not great.

At the end of the evening, when she’s settled in, she lights the red star candle that’s stuck into the top of the cupcake and considers it, staring at the flame and thinking as loud as she can before closing her eyes and settling on her wish.

I wish I didn’t have to be alone, she thinks again. When she opens her eyes, the candle’s flame catches her focus but the rest of the apartment is so empty and lonely. She blows out the candle, plucks it out of the frosting, and throws it into the drawer with the one from last year.

Even when Regina and Graham decide two months later that they’ve explored what they wanted to in their sexual relationship and decide to move on to other options, everything is statically normal. And that’s a good thing, right?

Halfway through the winter, Emma can’t help but prop up her head on her elbow at her desk, working her shift in the office while the others are out patrolling. Her dates with August were okay. He’s a good guy, and he’s pretty hot, but there’s no remarkable spark which is the one thing Regina always mentioned about why she and Graham started sleeping together in the first place. She made out with August a little bit, fooled around once, but on Emma’s end, there was nothing more compelling to keep her interest.

She and Regina start a routine of going out every couple of weeks, going between the two very small bars that Storybrooke houses so they can drink and make questionable life choices. It’s on these nights that they both explore their options, employing a buddy system so they always know the other one is safe, but otherwise going home with other people as often as they can.

Emma is surprised, one night, to be hit on by a woman named Ruby, the granddaughter of the owner of the diner she loves so much. When Ruby eases her hand along Emma’s thigh and explains that she doesn’t date, she’s just looking for a little fun, Emma closes out her tab. Ruby is a lot of fun, it turns out. So much so that Emma stays for breakfast and lunch the next day, leaving the encounter sated and smiling.

On Emma’s way out, Ruby grabs Emma’s phone and plugs her number in. “In case you want a repeat performance sometime,” she tells Emma, pulling her close for one more kiss with just the right amount of tongue before sending her on her way.

The one night stands help. They ease up some of the loneliness Emma feels, but inevitably, she either goes home or closes the door behind the latest conquest, and she’s left by herself again. The days and weeks and months drag on and she has a healthy number of encounters with people, making sure to take Ruby up on that repeat more than once when they both have the time and the desire.

Just before her twenty-eighth birthday, work suddenly picks up, so much so that where she normally would’ve gone out with Regina and Graham and any other combination of her friends, she instead swings past Granny’s on her way home and accepts the cupcake that Ruby tells her is on the house.

There’s a blue star candle stuck in the top of it, and she grins at the trinket that matches the ones she has at home. Flicking the lighter from her apron once, Ruby gives it a flame and tells her to make a wish.

Much like the last two years, there’s only one thing Emma can think of to ask for. I wish I didn’t have to be alone, she repeats in her mind before blowing out the candle, and she knows that it’s a different context than what Ruby offers next.

“You wanna stick around for a couple beers? Come back to my place for some good, old-fashioned birthday sex?” Her tongue peeks out and runs along her namesake red lips, which at least makes Emma smile.

“I’d be no good to you if we did that,” she says, and when Ruby opens her mouth to protest, Emma holds up her hand. “I know you would happily give me a birthday gift to remember, but you know it would drive me nuts to not reciprocate.”

Something about her own words nudges the back of her memories, but there’s no icy chill down her back, there’s no tingling to represent an incoming memory. It’s something buried far too deep for her to pull out, but she looks down at the ring on her middle finger and stares at it for a moment. It calms her anxious thoughts, at the very least, and leaves her slightly more peaceful than she’s felt in days.

She forgets where she is for a moment until Ruby sighs, shaking her head and leaning across the counter to give Emma a kiss on the cheek. “Happy birthday, sweets. Go home and get some rest.”

“Thanks, Ruby.” She gives her friend a more genuine smile before she takes the proffered treat box and heads back out into the unreasonably cold weather they’re getting for late October.

She’s dragging herself up the walk when she spots a dark blur on the landing of the apartment building. She thinks it’s a forgotten scarf or something, but just when she’s about to pass by, it shivers hard and she almost trips over her own feet. She crouches down to check the animal and discovers that it’s a cat. He’s shivering steadily now, obviously not impervious to the cold temperatures or the wind that’s beginning to gust harder.

Emma doesn’t even know if animals are allowed in the building, but she’s starting to wonder if this thing will live if she doesn’t get it warm. How long has it been since he’s eaten? What if he’s injured? Oh, what if he’s diseased? Maybe she should go back to Ruby and see if she can help it or take it to the vet’s office; she is one of the vets there, after all.

Another shiver seems to work its way through the cat. She has to do something. Setting down the cupcake box, she’s careful when she picks him up, in case he is injured, and cradles him against her chest. She zips her coat up around it to warm it up faster – and potentially hide him – as she snatches up the cardboard again and makes her way inside the building.

Once they’re tucked back in the apartment, Emma haphazardly leaves her treat on the entryway table and tries to figure out what to do next. She can’t do anything while she’s still holding the cat, so she grabs the nearest kitchen towel and wraps it around him, placing him on the couch and waiting for a second to see if he’ll try to move. When he doesn’t, she immediately jumps into action, placing a small bowl of water on a tray.

She’s incredibly grateful she happened to buy a can of tuna at the store the week prior, and she thanks her weird craving for tuna salad as she peels open the can and puts some in a second bowl before stashing the rest in the fridge for later. She sets the whole thing on the coffee table and sprints off to her bedroom, digging one of her lesser used plush blankets from her closet and taking that back in with her.

The tea towel gets discarded in favor of the warmer blanket, but Emma takes a second to look for any traces of blood on it before leaving in next to the couch. His dark fur makes it hard to see any details, but it seems as if he’s just a little wet from the weather and without injury. While the cat huffs at being prodded at, he doesn’t fuss back, and only trills out a question as he’s swaddled into the blanket before going quiet again.

On closer inspection, she discovers that the poor thing is missing a paw. The wound looks healed over, but Emma is just thankful she found him before he could freeze to death outside.

I’ll have to bathe him, she thinks, laying back and getting them both comfortable. But first he has to make it through the night. As she snuggles the cat closer, he opens his eyes at her, and she’s surprised by the intensity of blue that looks back at her. He blinks twice, heaving a sigh of comfort or safety – she can’t be sure which – before he falls asleep again. To say she knows the feeling would be a bit of an understatement.

She’s knows what it’s like to be alone and scared. If anything, that thought makes her hold the cat a little closer, now willing him to live through the night, and hoping he doesn’t wake up as scared as she would be. Somewhere in her hopeful mantra, she nods off, slumping back into the cushions further and not noticing the cat beginning to purr.

Emma’s woken up a short bit later by the sound of the saucer she put the tuna on hitting the floor. She struggles to open up her eyes, but has no choice when there’s suddenly a weight on her stomach, followed by a lengthy meow.

She mumbles a response to the cat, which is pretty ridiculous, but the cat only meows again and louder. Finally, Emma peels open her eyes to see that bright, bright blue staring back at her. “So, you’re awake and you’re hungry,” she says to him. “Did you drink some water?” They look together at the empty bowl still on the table, and she nods. “Okay, fine. Let me get you a little more of both and then you’ll have to wait until morning for more.”

She sets the cat back on the coffee table, removing the blanket from where he’d wiggled out of his cocoon earlier and gathers the two dishes before heading off to the kitchen to refill them. She barely makes it two steps before she hears the cat following her, and she turns to watch him as she walks, further impressed by the way he doesn’t let the missing paw hinder his movements.

After the dishes are filled again, she carries them back to the table. As the cat digs in, she lightly strokes along his spine, noting that he’s really not overly dirty or malnourished. He tries to purr as he eats, instead making a weird, rattling happy sound as he chews.

It looks like she might have a new pet. She’s not sure if she’s allowed to have pets here, but there’s nothing that will convince her to give up on the poor little guy that’s loudly scarfing down the rest of the tuna she gave him.

“I’m not really good at coming up with names,” she admits out loud. “How about I call you Cat until we think up a better name?” He’s doing his best to drain the water dish, paying her no mind. Instead, he’s trying to dip his paw into as if to lift the water to his mouth, and Emma just barely manages to catch it as he pushes it off the table in his haste to get the last drops. “It’s either that or Clumsy, like the forgotten dwarf or something.”

He looks up at her at that, in a look that so eerily resembles a glare before meowing once and jumping off the table in order to stalk around her apartment to inspect it. Emma realizes she doesn’t have a litter box for the little guy. With a cringe, she grabs a plastic bin from her bathroom closet and empties the contents onto the counter. She tears up newspapers to line the bottom of it and nods at her handiwork when she’s done.

“If you have to go, you go in there. It’ll have to do until I can go out tomorrow and get you a real cat box. Okay?” The cat looks at her and she could swear that it nods in response to her directions. “I’m going to get ready for bed. I’ll uh, leave you to it,” she says with a gesture towards the makeshift box. He looks at it, then back at her, and she just somehow knows that he gets it. He understands what she’s indicating. She’s never had a cat, so maybe that’s normal, or maybe he’s just already litter trained and someone did the dirty work for her.

After she changes and gets ready for bed, she wanders back to find the cat sitting outside the bathroom.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed. Not until you’ve had a bath and I’ve gotten you to the vet, okay? I’ll see if they can fit me in tomorrow.”

At the very least, she figures she can make him comfortable, so she gathers the blanket that she initially wrapped him in and puts that around a pillow she doesn’t normally use. He inspects her work when she’s done, sniffing around it once before tentatively crawling on top and curling up. Emma crouches down to scratch behind his ears and smiles at the soft purring that starts rumbling through his body. She wasn’t even sure he’d live through the night, but it looks like she just adopted a new cat.

-x-

Ruby clears him the next day. She’s thankful that Storybrooke is as small as it is, and that the one and only vet office has a spot in the afternoon to fit them in.

“I don’t know how he got this injury, but it looks like it was well treated. He’s a lucky guy, Emma.” Ruby scratches under the cat’s chin, much to the happiness of the feline. “Do you have a name for him yet?”

“Not yet. I’ve just taken to calling him Cat for the time being.”

She chuckles, nodding her head. “It takes time to pick one that fits. We’ll run a couple more tests on him, to be sure, but he looks perfectly healthy to me. Not often you find that in a stray. Just give us a couple minutes and we’ll be back.”

Emma relaxes in the hard plastic chair the best she can while she waits. There’s an organizer hanging on the wall with magazines of various pet-natures. She picks up one with a Scottish Fold on the front, its eyes large and pleading, and starts flipping through the contents. She catches random tidbits as she scans each page: there are reviews for food brands, adverts for litter and automatic cleaning boxes, she looks at the benefits of growing her own catnip, but remembers the flowers from the hospital that were dead within a week. Beyond the door that leads to the work area behind the scenes, Emma hears a series of yowling noises and Ruby’s voice trying to soothe him.

By the time Cat is deposited back on the table a couple minutes, he looks scandalized and practically clings to her as soon as he can.

Ruby reassures her this is a normal reaction. “But he’s all good. Very healthy. Caught up on his boosters for now. He’s uh, quite the little gentleman, that one.” The sarcasm in Ruby’s tone is clear, and Emma looks down at him curiously. “Here’s a list of all the best products I tend to recommend. Some of them are better because they’re made around here, like the natural scratching posts from Geppetto’s WoodShop, or the very obviously locally canned tuna. Others will be better for your living space since you’ll be in close quarters with his litter box.”

“Oh! Thank you so much. I was going to ask. The magazine I looked at said the same exact thing for five different brands.”

“You’re welcome. And of course, if you ever need anything, you have my number,” Ruby tells her, and her tone could go either way for salacious or innocent, but she doesn’t linger on it. Instead, she turns to Cat to bid him farewell, but he’s having none of it.

Cat practically glares at her in response, and backs away from the good veterinarian’s touch before she gives up and rolls her eyes.

Emma thinks about loading him back into the improvised carrier she grabbed (little more than a laundry basket with a blanket over top) but he’s so attached to her that she doesn’t bother. She throws her purse and the blanket in the basket, propping it on her hip as they stop to pay the bill before heading out to her car.

The amount makes her groan, and she hopes she made the aggravated sound internally, because a few hundred bucks for something that would fit in her purse is certainly nothing to sneeze at. With one more mental grimace, she hands over her bank card and prays they don’t need to make another of these visits any time soon.

Emma’s amazed at the fact that Cat sits in the passenger seat and doesn’t budge the whole way back to her apartment. She wonders if he’s one of those cats she could fix a leash to and take him for walks, but she wouldn’t want to stress him out if the distance would be too much on three legs.

“It’s good to know you aren’t a runner,” Emma comments to him as she puts the car in park. Cat helpfully jumps into the basket, waiting for her to pick it up and carry them inside.

She lifts him out and leaves him in the living room for the time being, instead reassuring him that she’ll be right back as she heads out again and across the small town to the only pet store. She wheels a buggy through the aisles, loading up on absolutely everything she can find. In goes the fancy litter box with a dome lid, along with a stupidly heavy box of litter that tells her, in bright lettering, that she won’t even know the cat box exists with its odor-eating capabilities!

Yeah, right, she muses after she hefts it into the cart, rolling onward to the next section. It’s on Ruby’s list, though, so she’ll try to hold back her skepticism.

There’s a line of various bowls for her to peruse, and she takes her time selecting a set of black ceramic ones with little fish on the sides. She goes for the dry food that’s on the list, and chooses some flavors of the canned food at random. She has no idea what he’ll like, but trial and error is her only friend in this adventure.

Treats and toys and a brand-new carrier are loaded in as well, and Emma just stops herself from buying a costume off the rack, this close to Halloween. She sighs, hanging one back up as she walks to the check out. The clerk eyes her with humor, remarking that she must have the luckiest cat ever as she rings up each item.

“Well, I just found him yesterday, and he might’ve frozen to death if I hadn’t. I just want to make sure he’s comfortable and happy. Everyone deserves a home,” she says, the words panging inside her chest as they leave her own mouth. She’s not sure why the statement suddenly makes her sad. She has a home, and now she has a cat, and he’ll be waiting for her when she returns. Surely, that makes the whole missing-memories thing just a little better, right?

“Oh! Shampoo,” Emma mutters, remembering that she wants to give Cat a bath so she knows he’s not tracking dirt into her bed. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.” The cashier barely has a chance to speak before Emma is darting over to grab whatever brand of soap has a cat on the bottle and tossing that and some flea treatments onto the belt with the rest of her purchases.

All said and done, she spends a lot of money at the pet store. Just like with the vet’s office, she prays she doesn’t have to do this again anytime soon. She figures it’s a little like that time she restocked her food supplies at the apartment. The first one was painful because she had next to nothing, but every trip after has been reasonable because she has all the basics now. The same thing goes for Cat’s supplies, which she loads into the passenger seat for easy access. It’s not as if she can’t afford all of this. Thanks to her job, and the savings account she didn’t remember for the first five months she was in therapy, she’s definitely not hurting for cash at the moment.

She shakes that thought from her head as she parks the car in her designated spot. She walks around to the other side, looping all the bags from her arm and grunting as she lifts the litter from the floor. All she has to do is make the trip up to her apartment without dropping any of it, which seems a lot easier in theory rather than practice.

Opening the door, she finds Cat still sitting patiently where she left him. “Did you move at all while I was gone?” she inquires, hefting the bags and balancing the litter box at the same time. Of course, he doesn’t respond, just stares inquisitively at her as she kicks the door closed and dumps everything on the couch. Cat follows her from room to room as she disperses the new items, inspecting the new litter box and wandering into it as she takes the plastic bin that was there out to the garbage chute at the end of the hall.

Every new item she pulls from the bags gets subjected to similar scrutiny. He almost nods approvingly at the food and water bowls, even more so when she fills the one with fresh, cool water and he goes to lap that up while she tries to decide which food to give him. She settles on the dry food, for now. Placing a scoop in the bowl and setting it down for him to investigate while she finds a spot in her pantry for all the new supplies. He doesn’t look too impressed by it, but eats a healthy portion of it before following her back into the living room when she starts digging through the remaining bag with all the toys.

The toys – oh, the toys… Cat, for only having three paws, is incredibly nimble. The first jingly mouse to land on the ground is almost immediately pounced on. He can’t seem to make up his mind whether to go for that or the crinkle balls she flings out into the room. She makes a mental note to hide the catnip toys until later, seeing as he’s already having way too much fun without any help at the moment, and she chuckles to herself as she goes to store the bags and the extra toys. Even from the kitchen, she can hear the rustling thumps and chattering noises he makes.

Part of Emma wonders if this is normal, to be carrying on with her new houseguest as if she had actual company stop by. She’s never had a pet before, but at least if she’s mumbling to him, she’s mumbling to someone, rather than wandering from room to room talking to herself. So, she keeps a running dialogue, answering his questioning meows with what she deems the appropriate responses.

Bathing Cat is easier than she anticipated. Maybe it’s the thousands of bad accounts she’s read online, but she figured he would balk at the water, and do everything in his power to get away from it. Instead, when she deposits him in the warm water she runs in the bathtub, Cat purrs and rubs his face against her hands as she cleans him. He waits until she’s pulled a towel from the closet and allows himself to be coddled into it. He patiently moves from one stance to another as she brushes him after he’s dry, until his coat is soft and shiny, and she has enough hair built up from what’s shed off him to build a whole other cat.

He stays out of her way for the rest of the day as Emma tries to get some housework accomplished on her day off. It’s only when she’s buried under a pile of paperwork that she’s brought home from the station that he jumps onto the desk and bumps her hand with his head. Looking at the clock, she realizes it’s way past dinner time for both of them, and she smiles as she thanks him for reminding her.

Cat becomes her faithful companion, making her feel a little less alone. When she’s sitting down to watch television, he settles on the arm of the couch to nap. When she’s working at her desk, Cat tries to play quietly, but more often than not, he ends up scaling the curtains on the windows behind her, and chattering at her as if he needs to be rescued. She’s glad she doesn’t have expensive sheers on the windows or anything.

One night, she decides to tell Cat about her incident in the woods, and he sits with rapt attention as he listens. She tells him about the ring on her finger that she doesn’t know where it came from. And she tells him something she’s never spent a lot of time dwelling on, because it doesn’t make any sense to her.

“I don’t feel like I belong here,” she admits quietly. “I have my friends and my job, and they’re great. But I always feel like there’s something in the memories I’m missing that would tell me I’m not supposed to be here. Who knows, maybe someone is out there looking for me and they can’t find me because this place is still stuck in the golden ages of technology. I’m lucky to even have a smartphone.”

From his position on the other cushion, Cat reaches out with his stunted leg and appears as if he’s comforting her. But all he really probably wants is food, so she gets up to fill his empty bowl. “You’re a good listener, even if you’re a never-ending pit of hunger.”

As the sun breaks through the clouds one day, she observes his dark fur glinting in the natural lighting, catching hints of red in the dark brown of his fur.

“Maybe I could call you Ginger,” she remarks, sprawled out on her couch as he lounges in the sun. To her surprise, the cat turns his head towards her and if there’s a cat version of lifting an eyebrow, that’s precisely what he does. “Okay, not Ginger.”

She forgets that, pre-birthday, she and Regina had set up their next night out, until Regina is knocking on her door on their scheduled night.

“Why aren’t you ready?” Regina asks when Emma swings open the door, still in yoga pants and a sweatshirt.

“Well, I forgot? And also, I got a cat so I’ve been a little preoccupied.” As if talking about him summons him, Cat strolls through from his water bowl on his way back to the living room, but he stops when he sees the newcomer. They’re both surprised when, upon seeing Regina, he trots up to her and starts meowing, trilling out a question or two while he’s at it. “Aw, it seems like he likes you!”

“Yes, well,” Regina says, still eyeballing the cat like she’s not sure of him. “Do you want to still go out or not?”

"Okay," Emma says. "Let's do it. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable and I’ll try to make myself look fuckable.”

Regina snorts when she says it, but Cat makes a small choking sound at the same time. He sneezes right after, so Emma gives him a face to tell him how adorable he is before she heads off to find what she can in her closet to make it a night. She has her friends, and now she has her cat, but she’s pretty sure she needs a little physical release to make it all better.

“Be good tonight, buddy,” Emma tells Cat when she walks out of her bedroom. His whole demeanor deflates when he looks at her, and suddenly she feels awful. This poor thing has just established a routine with her after nearly dying. She can’t leave him alone for the whole night. She picks him up to hug him close. “Okay, I’ll tell you what. If I find someone, I’ll bring them back here so you don’t have to be alone tonight, deal?”

He squirms out of her arms, giving her one decisive noise before sulking off to the bedroom she just vacated. Emma sighs, letting it go and instead getting her winter gear on for the short walk they’re about to make.

She and Regina situate themselves at the bar, and Regina orders for them. It’s apparently a fruity night, and Emma grimaces when she takes a sip.

"Is there enough sugar in this, you think?"

"It's a sour apple martini," Regina explains, as if that answers her question. They definitely got the sour part right.

They have their first drink, and then they have another. Regina takes to flirting relentlessly with the bartender, a man who calls himself Robin, with an elaborate tattoo of a lion on his forearm. Robin seems just as keen on Regina as she seems on him, and Emma smirks to herself as she twirls the little plastic sword that had an actual apple slice attached to it through the tart red liquid.

Her insides feel warm, and her shoulders relax. Maybe she's been taking on too much work. Maybe she really has been too hard on herself lately. This is the first time she's gone out with Regina in weeks, and longer than they usually go between bar crawls.

Regina seems to remember that she's not there alone right as Robin goes off to tend to another patron.

"Sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me,” Regina says, as if Emma hasn’t watched her stake out and take down a conquest or two since they started these outings.

"Two apple martinis and hearts in your eyes," Emma responds pointedly. She grins while Regina scoffs and tries to play it off, but it's too late. Emma can already see her blushing and the stammering is not doing her any favors, either.

Regina has a crush on the bartender.

It’s cute, really, but it leaves Emma feeling a little behind her game. They came here so she could get out, see if there were any connections to be made. Or at least someone to make out with and touch inappropriately. She glances around the bar, seeing if there’s an easy mark for her to take home, and focuses in on the man sitting at the end of the bar by himself. She stares at him until he looks up, which is when she smiles and glances back down at her drink; it’s almost sad that she knows this is a surefire way to get him to come to her.

Which he does. She glances back in his direction to see him abandoning his other stool to walk over to the one next to her, and he offers to buy her a round of her choice.

“Two tequila shots,” Emma tells Robin when he stops in front of her. If she’s going to make a night of it, she’s at least going to enjoy herself. She turns back to the man, who introduces himself as Keith, and straightens her shoulders to push out her breasts more.

He probably reminds her of someone she's met, but she can't place the name or the face. Instead, she bites on her straw and smiles seductively, batting her eyelashes just the right amount while What's-His-Name draws his fingers up her knee, to hell with subtlety, apparently. They do another round of shots before Emma feels like she might have the confidence to take him home with her.

Regina bumps her shoulder, and when Emma turns her head to look at the other woman, she's making small "shoo" motions with her hands, encouraging the slightly dumb path that Emma's decided to walk down for the night.

"So," Emma says, pulling out enough money to cover her half of the drinks, along with a nice tip for Robin. "You wanna walk me home?”

The man nods, a leering smile spreading across his face as he holds his hand out to help her from her bar stool. It's a short walk, but they're quickly delayed when he spins Emma towards him when they're barely out the door, their lips meeting in a clumsy kiss that doesn't seem to get any better no matter how long it goes on.

They follow the path back to her place, stopping every few feet to enact another sloppy kiss, to grope a little without being indecent, to stumble and laugh and move forward again. Emma unlocks the door with slightly unsure fingers, the keys almost slipping from her grasp as she snorts a laugh into the back of her hand.

The man with her makes some disparaging remark about getting them inside, but Emma is discovering that she's turned quite uncoordinated at this very moment. Finally, the door swings open, and they both tumble inside as he pulls her close to kiss her again. She forgets for a minute that she has a routine when she gets home - forgets that she already has someone to come home to.

She forgets she has a cat until Keith trips over him, extracting a hiss from her small companion as Cat glares the man down.

"Oh no! Cat, I'm sorry, buddy! Are you hurt?" Without thinking, Emma scoops Cat off the floor and cuddles him close, kissing the top of his head a couple times without realizing that the quality of kiss is much better than those she shared all the way back to the apartment with the man she’s supposed to be focusing on.

Said man is still sulking by the door from where he’s bracing himself for balance. "Always incredible how cats manage to find their way underfoot at every possible moment.”

"Not Cat, he's one of the good ones," Emma says, still oblivious to the staredown happening between the two males in the room.

"Tell you what, why don't you lock away this precious darling in the bathroom so I might show you a night you'll never forget."

The fog of alcohol clears a bit from Emma's brain, allowing her to really focus on the man standing in her entryway. He's not even that attractive, she realizes, and she gives Cat one more solid squeeze before putting him back down on the floor.

Looks like it's time to take out the trash.

"So, let me get this straight. You want me to lock my loyal, loving cat in the bathroom so you can give me what I'm sure will be mediocre sex? Nah, no thanks. You can go now."

Emma yanks open the door, shoving Keith unceremoniously outside as he splutters indignantly. She closes the door without another word, locking the deadbolt as loudly as she can and walking away before Keith can try to say anything to her.

She lifts Cat up again, making sure to give him extra affection after the slight altercation.

"Any man who doesn't like you is clearly not good enough for me," she tells the feline, a sullen expression on her face. Cat nuzzles her chin, nipping so she doesn't get lost in her own sad thoughts. Not even the attempt to get laid this time worked out, but she’s happy enough with her cat in her arms.

It's a fight to get ready for bed that night, especially with the last dregs of alcohol robbing her of her coordination. She snorts as Cat turns his head as she peels out of her dress, standing there in next to nothing as she flings the dress towards the general direction of her closet. She pauses for a moment to text Regina, letting the other woman know that she’s home, alone, and safe. Regina texts back a thumbs down to the alone part, but lets her know that she’s going home with Robin and that she’ll text or call when she gets home.

Within a couple minutes, Emma has her face scrubbed of makeup, and she takes her time applying lotion to make up for the rough exfoliation. She hears Cat make a noise as she walks back in, unhooking her bra with one hand as she goes toward the drawer she keeps her pajamas in. If she were just a little more inebriated, she would probably sleep as is, but it's still too cold to be sleeping nude, even with the heat pumping out of the vents.

Once she's dressed for sleep, she flips off all the lights and collapses onto her bed. Once the blankets are pulled up to her chin, she feels the soft weight of Cat jumping onto the bed, and she mumbles softly to him as he curls up beside her pillow. He lets out one soft chattering noise when her hand contacts his tail, and she smiles as she falls asleep.

Outside, the full moon grows nearer.

Chapter 4

#cs ff #cs ff au #captain swan ff #csbb 2017 #csbb #wait for the moonrise #sarah writes ff #enchanted forest/modern au

[gyeommine]

GOT7 As Roommates

So I was reminded of the one I did for BTS (which you could find here) and I thought this would be a cute thing to do <3

(gif credits to the original owners)

JB:

(hot ass)

he strikes me as a dad type

like he’ll be kinda protective of you, making sure you don’t stay out too late and come home at the right time.

he’ll say that it’s to keep a watch on you but he lowkey misses you.

typical dad always ends up falling asleep on the sofa.

so you always have to shake him to get him to actually go to bed.

you’ll feel really awkward when you accidentally call him dad bc he basically is

“is this a new fetish or something?” “shut up im jaebum”

also just another gross male that you have to deal with.

“leader of got7 or president of the US i don’t care, just wash the dishes”

people often mistake him for your boyfriend bc you guys are weirdly comfortable around him.

he’ll probably just walk around half naked with no shame

you’ll just throw his dirty laundry to get him to put clothes on.

does get a lil’ awkward if you’re ever upset.

will shyly admit he ordered take out to cheer you up and you chill for the rest of the evening.

he’ll get quite angry if someone has upset you or work is giving you a hard time but won’t show it.

since he’s a dad for thot7 as well, just expect the guys to often be over.

reliable dad friend roommate beom ™

you always make him cringe or make fun (in a friendly way okay)

you’ll be over sitting in a weird position on the sofa you’ll just be like “the a teaser, amirite” and poor boy would die of cringe.

with that weird dinosaur laugh he has

Mark:

(oh wow i am blind from staring at the sun)

he’s so quiet you’ll honestly forget he’s home.

he’ll just be coming out the bathroom and you’ll jump out of your skin bc when the heck did this boy get back from tour ??

it’d be a strangely quiet house.

he’s more often than not tucked away in his room on his phone.

ngl, he’d probably text you instead of shout out.

but when you guys do stuff together, there’s so much giggling than can be heard from 2 flats above and below.

you guys are organized and on it.

you got that chores and housework rota down and you both know who cooks on what days for the two of you.

you’ll be best buddies with jackson

sleepovers with the three of you !!!

he’s quiet, but boy’s trustworthy and reliable (aka the perfect roommate)

no milk ?? mark’s probably already spotted and bought 3 more cartons.

you’ll be film and music buddies.

you’ll just both be in the kitchen and you’ll hear.:

“hey (y/n) listen to this!”

and you’ll be jamming around for a few hours

you guys will also have a list of movies you wanna watch together.

and when he comes back from tour: a movie night ensues. 

overall you guys would have such a chill vibe.

if you had had a hard day at work, even just entering into your apartment would relax you completely.

if you were ever stress, he’d probably suggest going on a drive.

so at like 3 am, you’d get your guys’ chill playlist up and just drive for a while.

Jackson:

(the purest)

such a caring roommate and best friend.

he’s always checking on you and asking whether you need anything.

he’s always the first guy there to give you a friendly ear or a shoulder.

he sometimes just goes on for 30 minutes with random life advice.

it’d be super endearing.

the flat would be super loud.

it’s bc he’s so excitable about everything which makes him the cutest friend to have around.

everyone knows you guys have the liveliest flat.

and you’d always wonder how this idol that works all the time has SO much energy ??!

but such charisma wow - can charm his way out of anything.

if he breaks something, he knows exactly what to do.

fills the fridge with random organic shit.

you literally pull 3 new organic smoothies out of the fridge each day.

“where the hell are you buying all this?”

he won’t even need to label it bc you know it will always be his.

he’s also kinda protective of you.

he’ll send you like a million texts bc he’s super worried that you’re not home yet and you need to be safe

it’d be a stern side that you’d rarely see from jackson, but he cares about you a lot.

he sort of feels like it’s his duty to take care of you, bc you live under the same roof an’ all that.

“jackson you’re more strict than my real dad sometimes.”

but he’d prefer it if you saw him more as your big brother or something greasy like that.

Jinyoung:

(should i be offended by this ??)

he acts like a stressed middle aged mum with 5 small kids 24/7

but it’s just you along with the 5 kids he has with jb

the flat will always be perfection, spotless, 10/10, flawless.

he’ll live passive aggressive / sassy sticky notes to remind you to close the cupboard door or something like that.

sometimes you’ll wonder why he’d ever wanna share a flat with anyone bc he could easily thrive alone.

but he lowkey loves the company you give him.

y’all could be sitting in a room together for hours and not speak and he’d love it.

idk i could also see you guys going on walks together.

but if you ever ask him anything he’s just give you a sassy response - as if it’s a chore to live with you.

dw doods, he’s lying. that’s the middle aged mum sass.

he’ll tssk, roll his eyes a lot. 

but he’s a v good listener, and would happily let you rant about your days’ work @ him and he’ll have no complaints.

you guys will have deep convos all the time.

you’ll wake up bc the kitchen light’s on at 3 am and there’s jinyoung, sitting with a glass of water.

“what are you doing jinyoung?” “i can’t sleep.” “lol neither. so what’s the meaning of life?”

and you’ll be talking until like 6 am, by which point the glass of water has magically turned into a strong mug of coffee.

Youngjae:

(NATIONAL TREASURE. 10/10 AT EVERYTHING. CUTEST // PUREST)

this is another loud apartment when it comes to the thot7 bois.

he honestly just needs protecting, someone to keep an eye on him.

he laughs a lot and it literally lightens the flat, it’s such a good vibe.

but sometimes you don’t see him for days.

he’s either writing some sweet ass music or playing video games.

but he always appreciates you checking on him, even if he gets too shy and bumbly to admit it.

he always knows how to make you feel better even if that means just smiling and curing the world of its sins

probably wants to include you with got7 outings

he doesn’t want to make you feel left out or leave you at the flat by yourself.

and if you lightly scold him for something once, he’ll be careful to always do it and he’d be such a sweetheart.

you probably do the most work within the flat but he tries every once in a while.

he’ll get super nervous if he breaks or loses something and you’ll receive an odd text from him.

so you call him to make sure he’s okay, and he’s like “oh no, i just lost your headphones” and the relief you’ll feel.

you’re always there to reassure him if he ever feels insecure about his career or anything in life.

and it’s chill bc you know he’d do the exact same for you, it’s all around a pleasant and healthy environment.

you’ll also sneak in coco even if the apartment block doesn’t allow it.

Bambam:

(he looks so soft here. i highkey loved this hair on him)

do i even need to say that this flat is gon’ be loud as fricking heck

he’d just make random loud noises most of the time and you’d have to give him a “??? wtf” look.

don’t even get me started when yugyeom comes over.

ear muffs come free with the roommate.

i joke, but its’ actually always a hella good mood boost.

our resident meme cannot stand the thought of you ever being down in the dumps so is running around the flat doing dumb shit.

you can’t go anywhere with him bc he spends 3 hours getting ready.

“bam pls we’re only going to the grocery store just wear-” “NO”

then you contemplating going to the grocery store by yourself because bam “flawless model” bam needs to like 10/10.

but you always tell him you’ve seen him without makeup or high brow clothing and he still looks great.

pranks, pranks and more pranks.

did i mention inside jokes? plenty of those.

you guys will be like kids with your own secret handshake and a password you yell before entering the apartment.

“bam why’s the door locked?” “password.” / “but bam i-” “passWORd”

and you’d sigh, and yell “I like to dab with moose” and you’re in.

let’s just imagine the mortified look mum and dad (jjp) have when they come over for the first time and you yelling that.

Yugyeom:

(omg it’s me @ kim yugyeom aka the loml)

just accept the fact you’re going to be hearing music all the time.

you guys will have like a playlist of your fave songs and you end up just stupidly dancing and singing around the house.

sometimes he’ll clear the space in the living room and just dance.

he’ll get hella blushy and shy when you walk on him though.

that’s basically how the hit the stage dance got spoiled for you.

he’s so loud as well.

he’ll probably just yell “PABO” really loud from the other side ot the apartment to get your attention.

and you run over asking yourself why you moved in with such a child.

he’ll smile wickedly as you ask him “what’s wrong”

“nothing!!” he’ll say cutely. “KIM YUGYEOM I SWEAR TO-”

oho you guys will do a lot of childish shit, prank each other.

one of those roommate situations that everyone questions why you ever moved in together bc you’re both a bad influence on the other.

but you guys are obvs like the best of friends for sure.

it’s not fun for mum and dad (jjp) when you call them dumb names and get your ass beat.

you guys are partners in crime and it’s the cutest sHUT UP NOBODY TOUCH OR TALK TO ME.

you better believe you’ll be sitting right next to each other and still be screenshotting memes, giggling your asses off.

but you’ll be so proud and gushing over his performing and how far he’s come and awwww.

but you guys will be having the 10th pillow fight before you could admit to such mushy feelings.

HONESTLY GUYS ! i got so warm and fuzzy bc i wanna be best friends with bambam and yugyeom like you have no idea. also, i am also jinyoung. i write passive aggressive sassy notes to my brother all the time bc he does dumb shit. hope you guys enjoyed ! <3

SIDE NOTE: one of my closest friends and are I are sort of like bambam / yugyeom cross friendship. but i am so done with his shit, and he’s so done with mine  - it’s chill.

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 reactions #got7 aus #jb #jaebum #im jaebum #mark #mark tuan #jackson #jackson wang #jinyoung #park jinyoung #youngjae #choi youngjae #bambam #kunpimook #kunpimook bhuwakul #yugyeom #kim yugyeom #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop aus

[designforsocialimpact]

18 - now we are serious because we have a tea kettle, citizen participation, ethics and other design lessons

This week Master of Design for Social Impact students explore power relations in urban planning, run prototype workshops, develop future speculation analysis, and start questioning ethics in design. Oh yea, and we finally got an electric tea kettle.

Thanks to Amy we finally have a kettle in our classroom. It was such a sweet communal gesture that it inspired a little sprucing up. Painted a corner shelf, got a lamp, folded some paper cubbies, cleaned with tea tree oil and voila! Come on in to our classroom in room 102 of the Paris College of Art. The space looks warm, friendly and downright hygge. Just in time too - no sooner said than bam! We're in Week 3 of the spring semester and thick into our studies.

We have this brilliant class Mondays and Fridays called Social and Urban Governance. In class we talking about power relations in urban actions and discuss Shelly Arnstein's A Ladder of Citizen Participation. I think back on a college internship on Capitol Hill with Congressman Serrano (NY-D, Bronx). I remember the work I did as a diplomat abroad. I think about governance theory and the fragmented ways in which government systems actually work. In all, I find myself thinking cynically (because I'm old enough to know better) but hoping fervently (because I'm also young enough to believe in change). I hope this class helps me dream about what design can impact in the urban/government sector.

Research and Methodology class in the afternoon turns into another writing workshops so we can develop our thesis outline. This week my research buddy Rica and I scribble all over our outlines. We are trying to make everything clean and easily understood. Our session dissolves into back-o-the-class laughter. Inevitable. I'm lucky to have Rica as my partner because he cracks up all the time. And for someone like me who takes things WAY too seriously it's one of the best reminders to chill out and enjoy the littles of life. 

I bustle home in the metro rush hour to skype John Shneider,  the cofounder of a company called 3DFuel. They make biodegradable filament for 3d printing from all kinds of bio-waste including beer, coffee, trash and hemp. https://www.3dfuel.com He's classic hipster in a Fargo warehouse. Kind, quick, eager. I'm nervous and I ask too many questions. He links me to a project where the brown coffee filament they make is actually helping to create prosthetic limbs in matching skin tones for kids. I check out the website. There's a lot of good in this world, eh? http://enablingthefuture.org/lend-a-hand/

Tuesday morning I wake up early with my partner's alarm clock. He's off to work. I'm off to the gym. I pump on the stationary bike, catch up on political comedy skits and see all the hype about the upcoming State of the Union speech back in the U.S.A. Political positions fascinate me as a beautiful and inevitable part of identity and culture. I cannot help wanting to know more - especially since I have so many colleagues and friends who continue to work the political/diplomatic ring.

Home again I set up a series of recipes that I'm testing for my edible packaging concept. I'm extrapolating lessons from raw food cuisine dehydrating to design sealable edible food packaging concepts. Some of my designs are downright wacky (check out this lattice weave of a banana peel plate). But that's part of the experimentation phase. I'm hoping to develop a catalogue of my different designs. But I'm certainly no chemist! Let's just see what happens. 

By Tuesday afternoon I am back in 3D Lab class practicing new tricks on Rhino. This semester we have three new classmates from the interior design degree and they are wizard-fast with the software. I feel silly with my rudimentary skills in comparison (last semester I barely worked out how to make a box print properly, see Week 14) but the goal is to just keep learning. Alessandro, who teaches the class (and just agreed to be my thesis advisor!) is hella patient. He reminds me that I can only get better.

Tuesday evening I create a photo shoot in my office/spare room and hang paper craft bits for a scene promoting my prototype creations. I spend a happy couple of hours cutting, glueing, arranging and testing the scene ready for the prototype. (It's still baking in the dehydrator.) I need to make a presentation that appeals to both adults and to children, so I decided that paper craft images could be an easy way to entice people into a whole new colorful and playful world. Plus, I can't help myself. It's so cute! Here’s how it turned out in post-edit. Ooh, and check out the facebook event for my upcoming artist residency at Living Lab: http://bit.ly/2DZhjxW

Wednesday morning I open up the dehydrator and pull out the newest prototypes that have been setting and dehydrating for 24 hours. They look good and I pack them into a box carefully and cross the city of Paris via metro to MakeSense headquarters. Once there Solene gives us an update presentation on the ways in which MakeSense is changing due in part from our class experience with their massive open online course (MOOC). They have fortified their programs for each volunteer level of participation. 

More interestingly they are trying to reconcile their blursing (blessing/curse) of being a vague international entity. "MakeSense is....tools? a playground? a social thing? a movement?" They've been able to survive on a whole range of descriptions precisely because MakeSense can be different things for different people. But now they are heading into a rebranding to simplify how they present themselves. Good luck, and go make sense of those things.

"Have you eaten yet?.....Would you like to have lunch with me?"    Its time for my mid-week, mid-day workshop testing my prototypes in the PCA gallery (aka student union space.) My workshops do triple duty: 1 - test how the packaging holds food  2 - test how the package gets handled by users 3 - compensate my workshop participants (students love free food) And since very few people know what I'm up to - it's a wonderfully confirming moment to watch their shock and surprise when they open the bag and pull out my packaging. Ta-da! It's confirming for me that there is a place for edible, compostable, biodegradable takeaway packaging in lieu of plastic.

Hanna reminds me later that food waste is also a problem that I exacerbate with my designs. And maybe my design is not circular at all since it doesn't become renewable material. She's absolutely right - I'll have to acknowledge that my packaging wastes food. I'll also have to figure out how to explain that it's not circular design, but it does have a circular mentality. I have to be smarter about my designs and keep trying to do better. Maybe there’s a way to use more food scraps in the design of my prototypes? Hmm...back to the drawing board. In the afternoon I head to the pool at Neuilly-Sur-Seine for a lengthy swim to clear my head. The water is heated and laps in the pool feel effortless. I find in France no matter the pool I go to and no matter the lanes I pick (and they have plaques reading from slow to fast), the entire pool is filled with leisure swimmers paddling around. Fascinating but frustrating. I try to leave a gap for the swimmer ahead of me, forget the workout and just enjoy the swim.

In our second SPROUT workshop session with Maurizio and Laureano Thursday afternoon we test our observant eye for signals. "Look at the next image for 10 seconds, no writing and then tell me what you see." And we learn to pay attention to visual information and to categorize and title each with a concept. We’re not trend-hunting here. We’re future forecasting. It goes beyond the "cool" and into future realities with a subjective point of view. One of the 20 slides shows a 3d printed ear floating in a glass cup of pink liquid. Another shows metallic medical tattoos printed on wrists. Yet another features cars that drive you according to your mental state and not your destination. Each slide makes me wonder what I know about the future. Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.

In Professional Practices later that night we meet Mathieu Merlet Briand, an artist who frames his work around the digital and technological perception of reality. He shows us his portfolio with marbelized glass created by algorithms of digital material [iceberg] to integrated iron sculptures on the loom [Google Dark Matter]. His generic advice "You will find a solution" sounds vague yet true. Sometimes all those questions we have cannot be answered, you just have to trust yourself to overcome that difficulty when it arises. At home again I watch a documentary called Urbanized (2011) as homework while munching dinner. It showcases the plight of urban planners, politicians, residents, city-dwellers, etc. The documentary highlights 12 different cities and the social impact created or ignored based on planning. I think about all the places I've lived in city-wide project launches. Luanda's marginal construction, London's empty olympic city, Buenos Aires 9 de Julio bus. Design is integral to social impact in city planning. It feels more grounded to finally study practical applications that affect people’s day to day lives in an architectural way.  Friday afternoon we skype Thomas Watkin for Social and Urban governance class - this time about "What is public?" We compare our insights on the readings/documentaries and then talk about how to make a project public. How do you design a public space that allows people access? Allows them to be an audience? Allows an environment that fosters sharing? Its part of understanding the conditions laid out by Kevin Lynch in building Image of the City. We look at fun graphs showing walking spaces, architectural spaces, and public transportation studies. I leave just a little bit early for a private meeting in the gallery hallway of PCA's entrance. Her name is Emilie Prattico and she clips her words with a slight British accent but has a very down-to-earth conversational speech style. She's our professor for Designer's Social and Ethical Responsibilities. I pose a question to her about how to design without using necessarily Human Centered Design (HCD). To me, HCD doesn't seem to be proactively supporting environmental needs. She pivots my question and asks why not include environment when considering an optimal human experience? I'm intrigued but not convinced I understand. I see so much displacement of nature in pursuit of human interests that I struggle to make sense of what is ok and what is not. And how do we know that we are doing ok when only hindsight is 20/20? More questions, less answers....sigh.

We climb the stairs and enter the classroom. A quick shuffle of papers (we have about 5 minutes between one class and the next in the evenings.) We spend the first rounds of conversation talking about our program, what we're doing and what were are studying. Emilie works full time and she teaches on the side. She confirms that she is passionate - Friday night/Saturday all-day classes means that all of us will have to be committed too. Considering my question earlier, I feel grateful that we’re finally talking about the ethical issues. When class lets out early Rica invites everyone out to eat at a tiny Italian place around the corner from his place. Pizza? Yes. The music bips in the background, sourdough bread wafting, and we wait impatiently for our orders. We scarf down dinner while talking about Palermo, Italy (Hanna has a new job there potentially), New Zealand (Vaila is considering doing some back-packing), and Berlin, Germany (Rica is intending on going straight back to his company who he desperately misses.) I'll be in Paris for the foreseeable future. But you never know where a project might take you, eh? Saturday morning I head to the gym with my partner. I love lifting weights and he's a great gym partner. Doesn't yell, doesn't compete. Just does his bit and helps me when I ask for it. I love working out together. I shower at the gym and then head right back to PCA where we have a second lecture in Designer's Social and Ethical Responsibility. We go through a slide deck, watch a documentary, talk about theory, watch conference lectures on Youtube, talk some more, and of course, have some tea. Here's the quotes I pulled from our conversation in our ethic class: "theory can be a bummer" "your experience of your values is NOT the same thing as your values" "if you blindly accept then you give up your rights" "now you have tools to analyze very complex problems that arrive" "what you do with the lenses is to focus on different parts of the situation" "we generate reason from rational discourse with each other. Doesn't come from on high, doesn't come from a book. Everyone generates it through dialogue that is honest, equal, respectful..."

Afterwards, I walk into drizzles of rain towards the canals of St. Martin. I'm meeting my partner for noodles at Tien Hiangs. This place is always hopping, but class ended early and we're able to make it before the rush comes through at 20h. A vegan bowl of pho, a gorgeous basket of dumplings and my darling partner to share it with! What more can a girl ask for? 

Sunday is studying, reading, writing, etc. I jump through 17 new articles related to composting, recycling, packaging, plastic, etc. I'm drowning in sources but I still cannot get enough to capture all the information I'll need. I'm sending in today my first draft of the thesis. I know it will go through many revisions, but I want it to be as close to finished as possible. This whole month of February is going to squeeze us like a sausage factory. Both Social and Urban Governance and Designer's Social and Ethical Responsibility are front-loaded so that we finish the course requirements March-ish. This would give us time to create our thesis and individual projects afterwards, except that due dates are also front-loaded so that our thesis are due in early April. So right now it feels rushed and hectic, but it will slow down as the weather gets better and as the semester winds down.    Just gotta keep on track...which reminds me I feel like going for a run. It would be a nice way to rinse out my mind this Sunday afternoon.  A long run always feels good. So I head to the neighborhood athletic track with my partner. We bounce on the rubber path and fall into rhythm of step. Just gotta keep on track and moving forward. 

SMarti out.

#smartigraphicdesign #designforsocialimpact #design #socialimpact #paris #pca #graduate student #master

[datingadviceonreddit]

DEAR GOD GET READY FOR THIS LONG ASS SHIT STORM OF A STORY. TLDR. Does this go in r/Relationship? If you find yourself reading this, I am a girl who is in desperate need of help so I can fucking stop thinking about this crap and move on -_- Please give me your thoughts on the fucking situation that is driving me and my friends insane.DISCLAIMER: I curse a lot, and I am up to HERE raises hand up to neptune with the stress this shit has caused me. So disregard me as I release some pent up rage.OKAY. I believe both of us are in the same looks league so I won't even comment on that.Player 1: Guy, 29, caucasian, raised in southern GA. Let's call him Bill (no his name is not Bill). A musician. Omnivert, into videogames. Pisces. Bill has been single for 3 years and basically abstinent lol. NOT RELIGIOUS AT ALL. He has also been EVER SO SLOWLY healing and coming out of a depression of sorts. He also has minor anxiety issues. He has VERY high standards for almost everything, and loves 80's things.Player 2: Me, Girl, 24, caucasian hispanic, raised in Miami, FL. We'll call me Bitch becau- no... We'll call me Bear, because why the fuck not. A filmmaker/photographer. Omnivert, into videogames. Libra. I have always hung out with people older than me because I don't get along with the millenials my age -_- the're all focusing on partying while I'm trying to move forward with my career. Also I have been abused by several men (which scars to bear [get it]) so I'm very verbally forward with dudes about how I feel, but I also have mega anxiety for physical proximity.Setting: Atlanta, GAISSUE: Does my best friend like me? It's not issue if he does, BUT I just NEED to know. We have minor history and he has said no when I've asked but THE FUCKING WORLD tells me otherwise. Also, my gut tells me otherwise (sometimes), and I have no idea if I should be trying to get my flirt on or just leaving the poor kid alone because he hates me or something.Late 2015: We meet for a film project and I have this innate magnetic feeling towards him to be his friend. JUST FRIEND. Nothing more. We work on the film project and you know, it's cool. We good. We chill. Nothing interesting, nothing to see. Player 1: Single Player 2: Married in on/off state (private)Early 2016: We start hanging out WAY more. Like WAY more. And we become besties and work together on every project ever. Its' the best female/male bromance I ever did saw. Both gamers, both omniverts, both into adventures, both low self esteem, both idiots. IT'S WONDERFUL I TELL YOU. This time period bleeds into summer time too. Player 1: Single Player 2: My marriage finally collapses and we finally have the balls to separate publicly. Bill helps me a lot through this whole process.late Spring/Summer 2016: BEST. OF. FUCKING. FRIENDS. We hang out all the time and at this point everyone asks us if we're together. We get told what a cute couple we are (we deny all claims though). He calls me after work everyday and we sometimes fall asleep talking to each other. Equal conversation. His family tells me that "he's the happiest I've seen him in a long time". His sister calls me his "girlfriend not girlfriend". And I am totally okay with that because... I'm starting to like the guy. And I have slept in this dudes bed like 3-5 times at this point and we have not cuddles once. I have major anxiety for sleeping his bed because I have no idea what I'm supposed to do if he wants me to make any moves. Also, we promise each other to be honesty buddies for life. Also also, He goes to daytona for a weekend and then says he has no one to hang out with so... I got flight benefits, you want me to come? "Sure, why not". SO I fly there and we have a blasty blast. There's also this moment that we're out drinking and we go for a walk and this homeless guy approaches him for money, Bill tells him nah, then the homeless guy starts walking towards me and Bill steps inbetween me and the homeless guy (who is not even close) and he says "No, you don't need to talk to her, you talk to me" (fucking fell so hard deeper than I already was, right then and there) Player 1: Single Player 2: SingleDRAGON CON 2016: He goes out of his way to go buy my eyelash glue, literally OUT OF HIS WAY. Then at the con he eats a tootsie roll drug thing (I am a newb when it comes to that shit) and he's tripping. We hold hands the entire time (relationship hold, not "let's cross the street" hold). At one point he jumps in bed and opens his arms out to me to invite me to cuddle, and god damnit I fucking accept. So we cuddle in front of the majority of his friends. We take an uber to a far away restaurant and just lay on each other the whole time. Then we go to my place and go to bed and don't cuddle sadness. That was saturday night into sunday morning.SEPTEMBER 2016: The week after Dragon Con we barely talked. Then I fly somewhere for something and when I'm flying back he texts me that he doesn't want to ruin our friendship because of his feelings of loneliness. And I'm like WOAH BRO, YOU WON'T RUIN ANYTHING. WANNA TALK IN PERSON? NEED HUGS? And he's like Come over and jump in bed, lets cuddle (or w.e. the fuck he said, the jump into bed part is accurate though). SO. My plane lands and I fucking take a FORTY FUCKING FUCK FACE DOLLAR uber to his house. I go to his room and jump in bed and we had the most AWKWARD cuddle in the fucking world. Why? Because part of me did not want to cuddle him because I was so fucking confused. And then because he was no longer drunk -_- (fuck you Bill... fuck. you.) Later that day he is very angry. And I mean, VERY. ANGRY. We got out and eat food, his friend ends up being our waiter and asks if I'm his girlfriend and he very aggressively says "no". And then after that day he stopped talking to me. HE JUST STOPS. Motherfucking Bill does not talk to me at all. I then get him to respond to me and he says he doesn't want to be friends anymore and he needs a break from "all this" (WHAT THE FUCKFACE IS "ALL THIS?!?!"). So I try to give him space but HOLY SHIT WE WERE JUST BEST FRIENDS AND NOW I AM SO FUCK NUGGET CONFUSED WHAT THE BITCH MADE FUCK?????? So I ask for a solid reason as to why it's happening and I could not get a solid answer. At all. To this day, I'm still not sure what the fuck that was. But anywho, he says he doesn't know if he'll ever want to be my friend BUT if there's an emergency and I ever need him, that he'd be there for me.FAST THE FUCK FORWARD to the week before my Birthday party (oct 1). It's friday, it's late, like 11pm late. I go outside for a phonecall and my phone starts dying. I walk back to my apartment door and it's locked. I call my roommates, no answer. (I later find out that my roommates had left and locked me out). So I have no keys, no wallet, a dying phone, and it's late on a friday night. WHADOIDO?!?! I start calling people to see if they can pick me up so I can crash with them. LITERALLY NO ONE CAN. I get to the point of using tinder and asking my ex. But before I go that route I'm like... you know what, Bill said he would be there for me if I really needed, I'm calling him (i knew he would not want me to have resorted to my ex so I thought this was logical). I call his beautiful ass up (and I mean beautiful) and his friend answers (oh so it IS just me that you needed a break from you dick twat). I explain the situation to his friend (lets call him Matt). Matt: "Oh yeah, we'll come get you!" "Check with Bill first, I don't think he'll be cool with it" Matt: "What? Ofcourse he'll be cool with it" "Wanna bet?" Matt: "Two dollars says he says yes" "Done. Now ask him" Matt asks Bill Bill: "Yeah, no. Not in the mood" (or w.e. his bitch ass said) Matt: "Bear, I am so sorry. I'm surprised. Good luck with your situation" "Yeah... thanks" And so I resort to tinder and ex -_- then end up sleeping at my community pool until the next day when my roommates get back. NEXT WEEK: I tell this mother fucker Bill that we need to talk. He calls me and says he doesn't want to talk to me and hes angry about it. And I tell him in the nicest way possible "fuck you". And I explain to him what an asshat he is and that I didn't do anything to deserve this treatment from him and that HOW DARE he tell me he'd be there for me and then he's just not. Fuck. You. Bill. And he fuckign apologized 0_0 and said I'm right. And then I told him he could come to my birthday party if he wanted to, and that I would like him to and he said that he didn't know but he'd try. BIRTHDAY PARTY: He showed up with his brother and sister and friends. All in one car. It was so nice seeing him again and knowing we were okay. God. what a fucking relief he was done being a dumb ass.Have you made it this far? Take a break, pat yourself on the back, go grab some hydration. Thank you and I fucking love you you stranger. Player 1: Single Player 2: SingleLATE 2016: We start hanging out slowly, I take piano lessons with him because I want to and because it's a good way to reintroduce hanging out. I then meet someone that I actually have an interest for. Cool regular dude but the fact that I kinda like this guy is like "oh, I might pursue this". SO before making any moves, I ask Bill: Bear: "Hey, do you like me?" Bill: "What! Like romantically?" Bear: Yeah Bill: laughs uh NO. Bear: Yeah I was just checking, because, people have told me you do. Bill: Yeah no. Who? ----- I felt so fucking humiliated because of how he handled saying no. It was like he thought it was embarrassing to even think that he could like someone like me :( SO lower self esteem and now a fucking challenge to get over my feelings for Bill, I get into a relationship with random guy who we'll call... Homer. Homer and I end up dating for a while, Bill is ALL FOR IT. Says I need someone Homer him right now. So i fucking go for it dude. Like, full commitment dawg. I'm talking real intimate planning homie. And BOY DID THAT BACKFIRE. Player 1: Single Player 2: Single -> begins datingEARLY 2017: I eat furbies. Just kidding, making sure that you're still awake :D So me and Homer are living together per his request (SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT). And I cannot be myself around him because I'm high energy and he's like "you're too much" (fuck your dick ass face you bitch haired mother fucker). So I go crying to Bill who is now my freindtherapist and tell him that I cannot be myself with Homer and it's fucking killing me. Now Bill is like, oh nah, that dude right here brah? He's garbage brah. Get rid of him brah. You can't be with dat brah. (more or less) But I can't break up with Homer because if I do then I have to face my feelings of wanting to be with Bill and that is just WAY TOO MUCH FOR ME TO DEAL WITH AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relationshipSUMMER 2017: Homer and I are not doing too hot, at all. It's become apparent to many folks. But anywho. SO there's this event yeah. Where I'm presenting an award yeah. And I put on an amazingly sexy gorgeous dress yeah. And I invite Bill and my newest friend Keaton to attend the event with me since Homer will be out of town. Keaton is Homer's bestest friend (key info for the test at the end guys)(...just kidding)(this wont be on the test)(...just kidding, there is no test). So I look fucking fabulous. I mean... fucking. fabulous. Like, even my low self esteem was like DAY-UM BITCH. I asked Bill and Keaton if I looked good and Keaton responds with "Yeah you look great" and Bill just nods and he's like "yeah" (YOU SON OF A BITCH). So we go on our way to the event. At the event I get Kanye'd because why not hire a drunk host :D so I'm ultra bummed out and the 3 of us go downstairs to drank my sorrows away. Then I find out that the film I produced one an award and I wasn't there. FUCK.MY.LIFE. so then i'm like LETS GO TO THE BAR BOYS. But before that I have a "cry on shoulder moment" with Bill. SO, we call uber to go to bars and WELL YOU SEE... I WAS WEARING A BEAUTIFUL WHITE DRESS... SO... THE UBER DRIVER THOUGHT I HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED. To who? To Bill -_- (FFUUUUUUHHHH) And what does Keaton do when the driver starts asking questions? Driver: Woah, did ya'll just get married? Keaton: YES! MY TWO BEST BUDS, BILL AND BEAR, MADE THE LEAP! At this point, Bill and I look at each other and are like N-NNO-N-N-NO-NO-NO-NO, but Keaton is SO FUCKING LOUD, he overpowers us and eventually we just go with it. SO we start giving made up details and calling each other "babe" and "sweetie" and gay ass shit like that. We get to the bars and low and behold, we find out you can drink free by having just been married... so naturally WE MILK THIS SHIT OUT OF IT. We move our rings to the married side and he has his hand on my waist, holds my hand at one point. Gives me a back massage. My god, it's fucking great. And eventually we go home. Keaton loses his phone in the uber home and so when Bill and I go back to my place, we're trying to get n contact with the uber driver. So we're just chatting and Bill is about to leave so we hug good bye. As we hug... I have no idea why... but... I grow the biggest pair of balls... and say... Bear: Want to know something weird? Bill: Suuuure Bear: I have feelings for you Bill: silent I pull away from hug Bear: But you probably already knew that Bill smiles and he nods and he's like "yeah" and so we talk about it all. And here are the key take aways from everything he said: "I'm not going to lie, I've wanted to make out with you several times" "Tonight felt... natural. It was just so easy for us to be that way. It was comfortable" "Well you have a boyfriend so...." And eventually he goes home and we decide to talk about it sober.SOBER TALK #1 He tells me he has no feelings for me, that he cares about me as a friend and nothing more. He also tells me that everytime he was interested in me is because he was lonely. (oh Bill... YOU SACK OF SHEEP SHIT) And so I take all that in and let it process over the weekend. I then write him an email. Yes. A fucking email. Because I suck at communicating on the spot. And in this email I tell him MANY THINGS, one being "fuck you for using me" and the other being "I don't believe that you don't have any ounce of feelings for me, because you could have picked any girl but you chose me. (SIDENOTE, BILL IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND CONSTANTLY HAS GIRLS WANTING HIM). So I email his ass and he reads it and we decide to have a second talk.SOBER TALK #2 He apologizes for using me and having led me on and that he'll be more careful with our friendship. And we completely skipped over the topic of him having any slight possible feelings for me or if he might ever. What evs. I'm so done with it all at that point (or was I?) Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relationshipDRAGON CON 2017: SO Homer gets obliteratingly drunk and violently pushes me (not the first time he got aggressive). But check this out. He pushed me, in front of the crew, including Bill. According to witnesses, both my feet went in the air. There was like a 3 second pause of silence and Bill fucking pushes Homer's ass out the hotel room and slams the door in his face. He then asks me if I'm okay and he is fucking LIVID BRO. I have never seen him in such a rage before O_O Player 1: Single Player 2: In a relatonshipFALL 2017: So dragon con drama dies down and I can no longer talk to Bill about my issues with Homer (yes I stayed with him) because Bill is fucking annoyed at me for staying with him. He thinks I'm dumb for staying (he's not wrong). So I find a new friendtherapist. Anywho, we continue our vague friendship where I feel like I have to hold back because what if I flirt with him, it'll make him uncomfortable and I don't want that. So now I feel like I can't be my full self around Billy Boy. Eventually I have my business trip to California with Homer BUT I break up with him the week before -_- so I'm not stuck on a trip with my ex. WONDERFUL. But when I told Bill, he was very happy for me and was proud I hadn't done anything stupid. Eventually Homer invites me to go to a Legend of Zelda Symphony of the Goddesses tour and I'm like FUCK.YES.DAWG. and he has two extra tickets so I invite Bill and his brother. When stranger Things 2 came out, we binge watched it friday night and saturday night. And that weekend was just so great. We just netflix and actually chilled And later when we talked about the weekend he told me "that is one of the nicest weekends I've had in a long time." CUZ WE'RE GOOD TOGETHER YOU TURD DICKZELDA SMYPHONY 2017: So Homer and I get there (I still live at his place with Keaton, I just sleep on the couch) and Bill is DRUNK. He invites me to his hair cut appointment the next day (we have the same hair dresser) and He starts talking to me about his weekend plans (which include a funeral and us watching Justice league together on Monday) and then how Monday me and him have our date. My face is like huwah? And he repeats it "yeah, we have our date!" buwuh? and I'm just like OO OH-KAY, YES. YES WE DO SIR. Concert starts, we watch the show, he keeps drinking. At this point I've never seen him this drunk before (it was quite amazing). After the show, I have to use the bathroom like the basic bitch I am. Bill says he's going to go look for his brother and homer who have disappeared. When I walk out I see him waiting for me in a corner and I'm like "what are you doing??" ANd he's like " I've been waiting for you this whole time. All these dudes were waiting for their girlfriends, one at a time they start leaving, and here I am waitng for you, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG" and all I did was laugh because he's fucking hilarious drunk. I end up going home with Bill and his bro because I don't want to sleep on the couch and now that I'm single, I can sleep in Bill's bed again. SO, we're in the car and here's the conversation. Bill: Wow, I'm surprised at how well that went. Homer was very pleasant towards me. Brother: Why wouldn't he be pleasant towards you? Bear: Well- Bill: Oh, he's jealous of me and hers relationship. Bear: O_O HOMER WAS NEVER AT ANY POINT JEALOUS OF ME AND BILL. In fact, Homer LOVED Bill and always wanted me to invite him to places and he wanted to hang out from him and learn music from him. So that was just a lie .. Anywho, we go home and I sleep in this dudes bed and LET ME TELL YOU THE ANXIETY WAS SO FUCKING REAL. He has NEVER slept that close to me EVER. I could feel his arm and knee on my shoulder and leg (no boners guys, sorry :/ ). And I had no idea if I should try cuddling him or not because what if he's just drunk and doesn't realize it OR he's sober and just DOES NOT want that weird comfortableness of cuddling someone you're not into. So I do nothing except stay awake in anxiety till he wakes up the next day. And the only thing he says about the night before is "Man, I felt like I could take over the world last night, like nothing was in my way" and that was that.Monday: He invites his brother -_-THANKSGIVING 2017 (one week later): So I'm kind of sort of co-hosting with him but not really but I promised him I'd help with cleaning up and I'd bring mega food. By this point, we have a trip to NY planned (Mid January) and paid for...for... THE FUCKING FINAL FANTASY DISTANT WORLDS SYMPHONY AT CARNEGIE HALL, OH MY FUCK. We're talking about our plans (he invited his friend [guy, we'll call him Ron] so it was no longer going to be a potentially romantic trip sadness) and Bill says "Hey, let me know if you two want to go matching!" Ron is like "uhhh... no" as any normal guy would respond to that weird ass request. And then I say "uhm... Yeah sure." BECAUSE WHY NOT BEAR! WHY THE FUCK NUGGETS NOT. Bill and I go to his room later to look at his suit and see what I'm working with. And he says "If you find something else then I can try to find a different color shirt or tie". So we're fucking matching dude. Also, he play flirted with me for the FIRST TIME ever. Like Keaton noticed it too. Bill looked me directly in the eye.And now I'm here, visiting family in Miami, writing this fucking post because I'm so gay for this dude it's stupid. And I have been dress shopping and sending him the options and he is still going with us matching. ANYWHO here's where you the reader comes in...Answer these questions please and thankses: 1) DO YOU THINK HE'S INTO ME? 2) Should I ask him if he wants to kiss... 30 seconds before new years eve? 3) Should I try anything in NY? 4) Should I shut the fuck up, calm down and just fucking stop? 5) Should I just give up in him and I? If so, HOOOOWWWW??I REALLY don't want to make him uncomfortable but damn I can't keep holding back with this mystery. It's horrible. But he also seems like he's making sure we're not alone at any point in time... which I have no idea how to interpret.KEY FACTS: - Yes I feel that he is into me, SOMETIMES. Not always. But I get that urgle gurgle feeling from him sometimes. - He still does cute things like buy me my favorite junk food at the gas station. - We have NEVER kissed - We get each other on some surreal ass level, it's weird. - Yes we are idiots - Yes this is a TLDRIf you actually read everything... YOU'RE AMAZING AND THANK YOU!! If you didn't... Then good for you for not wasting your time! via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

[jsnorcross]

How To Deal With The 5 Types Of Men Who Shamelessly Hit On You At Work

This is a cut/paste of an article I found interesting - After all, ladies, men can be jerks….

How To Deal With The 5 Types Of Men Who Shamelessly Hit On You At Work



by Rochelle Amour

Feb 23, 12:00pm

Like many people, I worked in the fancy corporate office world for a long time. I had large HR departments at my disposal, with clear rules against sexual harassment and simple reporting procedures. I had no idea how #blessed I was.

That was, until I got uppity and decided to freelance on my own. Month after month and meeting after meeting, I slowly began to realize how sheltered I’d been for most of my working life. Out here in these streets, men are crazy thirsty. There is no HR officer standing between my fine ass and their lecherous gazes.

I have been hit on in business pitches, team meetings and contract negotiations. I have been hit on by male colleagues from all around the world in person, over the phone and via email.

I am overwhelmed by how hard these men have been coming at me lately. It’s not like I’m all that and a bag of chips. (No, wait. I am.) But when you take HR out of the equation, things get especially wild.

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It was up to me to set my professional boundaries and dodge a hail of clumsy advances. Not only did I struggle to earn a living on my own, but I also had to learn how to simply take the professional respect I deserve. Instead of being constantly offended, I decided to get proactive in managing the male egos I work with.

(Please note: I’m not equipped to address the extreme offenders who require restraining orders. I’m talking about the basic types that most women will run into at one point or another in their careers.)

Instead of belaboring the fact, I advocate that  you — as with everything else — rise up and handle your business, ladies. Define your terms. Taking charge of the situation instead of becoming a victim to it is a major step toward achieving equality in the workplace.

On that note, I’ve developed a guide to help identify and navigate the different kind of men who will most likely hit on you. I’ve also made some suggestions on how to manage their advances. I have a feeling I’ll be managing them for a long time to come.

1. The Fake Mentor                       

I once met a much older, well-respected editor who offered to help me get my foot in the door of his publication. We exchanged a few professional emails. He gave me some good advice.

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Then, he started texting me at night and on the weekends. Then he took the liberty of calling me, and the call was not work-related.

He chose his words carefully, but it was fairly easy to read between the lines. While he was somewhat helpful work-wise, it was not worth entertaining his attempted manipulations. I emailed him and quite respectfully asked him to back off. I never heard from him again.

This type uses his perceived maturity and experience in the business to lure you into professional dependence. He might make you feel like a young, stupid woman on purpose by speaking down to you and pointing out your mistakes.

He wants you to believe you need him. Eventually, he will proposition you in exchange for help with your career. This move is designed to seem helpful and selfless. But trust me, this type is much more interested in helping himself to a young piece of ass than he is in your career.

How To Handle It:

Some women see this move as a simple business exchange. I once met a woman who boasted of sleeping her way to the top in a large marketing company. I’m not here to judge people who believe their sexuality is a valid career tool.

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On the other hand, if you prefer to depend on, oh I don’t know, your worth as a professional, then prepare to sacrifice a potentially valuable career move for your self-respect. At least your self-respect is guaranteed to stay with you. No new job, promotion or opportunity is necessarily guaranteed to be worth it.

2. The Genuinely Interested

This type is probably someone you’ve been working with for a few months or years now. You have a good rapport, you work well together and you may even consider yourselves friends.

But then one day, it gets weird. Your trusted work buddy makes a pass at you. Not in a gross power play kind of way, but in a genuine I-have-a-crush-on-you kind of way.

You may appreciate his honesty because it’s always better to be aware of the situation you’re in. However, you are under no obligation to return his interest, especially if it’s just not there. You might also simply prefer to keep it professional.

You have a good working relationship, so why risk throwing that away? Attraction comes and goes, but finding someone you work well with is likely to be a long-term perk for both of you.

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How To Handle It:

While it is no fault of your own that homeboy caught feelings, this is someone you still care for. Be considerate of the fact that he’s dealing with more than you are right now, as well as your rejection.

Give him some space if you sense he might need it. Find someone else to eat lunch with for a while.

He’ll get over it, and things may very well go back to normal. However, if he decides to let his ego destroy a perfectly good working relationship, let him. No business associate is worth feeling pressured into something you just don’t want.

3. The Desperado

This hopeless chap just wants to get laid. He will hit on you at your office, in a meeting and at lunch, and he takes every opportunity he gets. He often confuses professional politeness for personal interest, and his life is just one long blur of mixing up the two.

Now, he may not be disrespectful, just desperate. He sees nothing wrong with inter-office relations and refuses to hide the fact that he finds you incredibly attractive.

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How To Handle It:

Now for the frisky one among us, this might be the right guy to have after work drinks with. I’m just saying, if you also happen to want to get laid too, this is your guy.

In an ideal world, women would be able to sleep with whoever we want and go about our business. But for the sake of your real-world professional reputation, try to ensure that the sexy affair stays between just the two of you.

If this seems too risky, or you’re just not into it, simply point the Desperado toward the exit. If he refuses to take the hint, be assertive about how little patience you have for his childish nagging.

His ego will be so bruised that he will stay clear of you until it’s healed. Fortunately, he’s used to rejection and will bounce back in no time. Hopefully, he’ll do so with a much more humble approach to your professional relationship.

4. The Shameless Flirt

This is the laid-back charmer, the funny guy, the completely non-threatening flirt who somehow manages to hit on you on a daily basis and get away with it. This guy has no real intentions of pursuing you, and he just enjoys making the ladies smile.

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It doesn’t matter if you’re middle-aged and married or 20-something and single, the Shameless Flirt will comment on the brightness of your blouse or your lunch. (“Girl, you don’t need salad. You’re fine as hell.”)

By and large, this guy is harmless, and who are we kidding? Women have egos, too.

This guy gives it a nice boost, without the added pressure of threatening sexual harassment. This guy knows your boundaries, and he fully respects them.

He also respects your work and has no hang-ups over admitting that you’re excellent at your job. In fact, he’d probably be the first to say so.

How To Handle It:

Ironically, the Shameless Flirt is one guy you can trust in the workplace. There are no feelings, ulterior motives or bruised egos involved.

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He just enjoys being the flirt about town. When needed, he is the professional you can depend on and bounce ideas off of because he’s likely to be honest, humble and helpful about it.

Don’t let your experiences of gross men hitting on you cause you to lash out unnecessarily at the Shameless Flirt. If he makes you uncomfortable, just say so and move on.

But, it might be good for your sense of humor to let him make you laugh every now and then. It’s easy to forget that not all men who flirt with us are creeps who don’t value us as professionals. Sometimes, he’s just a super chill guy who happens to be charming.

5. The One You Might Genuinely Like Back

Oh snap. That sexy, sweet guy you’ve been secretly dreaming of asked you out.

Last week, he went the extra mile to give you more detailed feedback on your report than anyone else on your team. He always offers you coffee, and he worked late to finish his chunk of the project ahead of the deadline, like you asked.

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But, you’re a professional, this is a work environment and you prefer to be respected rather than injected. But you are really, really into this guy. Now what?

History (and by history, I mean television show plots) is filled with love stories that started in the workplace. There are Jim and Pam in “The Office,” Mindy and Danny in “The Mindy Project,” Jane and Rafael in “Jane The Virgin.” There’s no telling where real love may strike.

How To Handle It:

It is paramount that women clearly define themselves professionally and demand the respect and treatment we deserve from the men we work with. It is also important that we take control of both our personal and professional lives.

Once well-informed, we are all perfectly capable of making good decisions about the personal side of business. At the end of the day, do what is best for you.

While this guide is based on my personal experience, I find it helpful to articulate what I’m up against and decide how to proceed. It is in no way meant to diminish other women’s experiences or the well-meaning men who may have unintentionally insulted their professionalism.

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Of course, it’s not fair that women must resort to actively managing male egos in order to get on with their business. But, it makes life a bit easier when we take the lead and set the tone upfront for interacting with the various kinds of men who may hit on us at work. At the end of the day, you are a smart, ambitious, talented person.

Trust your own judgment when working with men who try to blur the line between professional and personal. Whether it’s turning them down, taking legal action, refusing to work with them again or returning their interest, just make sure the ball is in your court.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 55*: Shirt Club

“This sounds like a very abstract problem.”

For fear of echoing Buck Dewey’s condescending assessment of Steven’s drawing, there’s just something endearing about a cartoon about making art. Animation as a medium is remarkable for how many types of artists are involved: for instance, Steven Universe exists as a collaboration between visual artists, writers, songwriters, actors, singers, composers, and instrumental musicians. It’s a crew that by necessity has a passion for art in many forms, and episodes like Shirt Club let this passion shine. (See also: James Baxter the Horse from Steven Universe’s big brother Adventure Time.)

Many of the artists behind Steven Universe have multiple roles: most famously, its storyboarders are also its scriptwriters. Some boarders even pull triple duty, like guitarist Jeff Liu and voice actor Lamar Abrams, who brings Buck to life. It’s fitting, then, that Shirt Club revolves around guitars and Buck as Steven navigates his way through the perils of publishing his art.

As sincere as this episode is, it’s also ridiculous. The final sequence of Steven as a faux assassin straight up shooting Mayor Dewey in the chest is absurd both as a situation within the show and as something that was allowed to be on the show itself, but sure enough, Steven Universe manages to give a lone gunman sniping spree an emotionally fulfilling resolution.

This scene proves a core lesson of the episode: just because something’s silly doesn’t mean it’s not art. Buck hits the nail on the head when praising Steven’s drawing for its sincerity and naïveté, even if he’s being a wad about it: the Guitar Dad shirt is awesome because it’s a pure expression of a kid looking up to a parent, even if that expression won’t win any medals for aesthetics (and because it won’t). Steven Universe doesn’t need to prove its artistic merits, and the episode is wise to avoid this path and devolving into meta defensiveness, but I appreciate how its structure demonstrates its message. 

That Buck recognizes Guitar Dad’s merits but sees its meaning in a negative light speaks volumes about his own relationship with his father, as well as the general adolescent obsession with irony. And let’s face it, Buck is mean in this episode. The other teenagers laugh at the shirt, but don’t necessarily laugh at the subject: Sour Cream is a bit of a jerk to Greg, but Jenny seems to honestly appreciate him even if she thinks he’s funny. Lars is easily swayed, having no opinion on the shirt but seeing the value in at least pretending to appreciate it (which certainly lumps him in with real-life folks who feign an appreciation for art for impress people, if you’ll allow me an overanalysis). But Buck is cruel in a way that’s uncomfortable, but not totally out of character.

In Lars and the Cool Kids, Buck is the most enigmatic of the Cool Kids, as per his mirroring of Garnet. As he repeatedly pulls the rug out from under Lars with a straight face, it’s hard to tell how much he’s intentionally messing with the guy. The same goes for his ordering salad at the Big Donut after examining its salad-free displays. He plays it so cool in both situations (and in general) that some of it has to be an act, and he’s perceptive enough that he has to notice Lars’s barefaced need to please, but he’s such a closed book that we can’t get a read on what’s in his head.

We see more of him in Shirt Club than ever before, and while he’s always been friendly to Steven, we really don’t know him all that well. His father’s an obvious sore spot, and seems to be the only thing that can make him completely crack, whether from embarrassment or being genuinely touched (or feeling remorse or feeling more embarrassed, a tear from this guy could mean anything). It makes for a fascinating “villain” when compared to our emotionally open hero, and he’s really the only kind of antagonist an episode like Shirt Club can have.

Regardless, the fact that Buck is still somewhat out of character (he’s utterly kind to Steven everywhere else in the series) is worth noting, because this is one of the last collaborations between storyboarders Lamar Abrams and Hellen Jo before the latter left Steven Universe. While this team is responsible for some terrific episodes and my all-time favorite scene of the series (the ending of Winter Forecast), they’re also behind House Guest and Fusion Cuisine, which are essentially about evil twins pretending to be Greg and Connie. 

For whatever reason, the Abrams/Jo team seems to enjoy bringing out the worst in beloved characters (or inventing negative traits out of nowhere) in ways that wildly diverge from their typical depictions. It allows for drama within a contained story, but in a way that clashes with the consistency of the series; with the exception of Island Adventure and its lesson that emotional and physical abuse is okay sometimes, these kinds of character-nuke episodes are my least favorite. Shirt Club is the best of these divergences by far, in that I can actually deduce Buck’s rationale and because he’s a mysterious character by design, but it’s still an unfortunate trend that happily gets ironed out as the show continues.

(Bear in mind that beyond letting us watch the snow fall, Abrams co-boarded The Answer and Chille Tid and When It Rains, and while it may be a coincidence that each contains a breathtaking scene of a character coming to grips with a scary new environment, I tend to think that he’s really good at framing them. He’s also the only boarder to work on every Onion episode; even if Onion Gang is a dud, Onion as a character certainly isn’t, and I get the feeling we mostly have Abrams to thank for that. I want to give no impressions that this isn’t a brilliant animator.)

Mayor Dewey and the Crystal Gems are here for comic relief, and oh boy do they deliver. Jo and Abrams are brilliant at giving the Gems incongruous background tasks: in Watermelon Steven it’s reading the paper, and here it seems to be assembling IKEA furniture. Their criticisms of Steven’s art and unwillingness to help his strange problem highlight Shirt Club’s casual tone, and they get little moments of self-parody without dipping too deep into meta humor: Garnet’s twinkling shades during a pregnant pause certainly counts, but Amethyst and Pearl’s escalating concerns about Steven’s shirt problem takes the cake.

Mayor Dewey is incredibly, but not unbelievably, lame. Between his outdated slang and his blatant desire to connect with youths (without putting in any actual effort) it’s easy to see Buck’s disdain. Bill’s speech about losing his speech is overshadowed by Steven setting up his sniping position, but is worth paying attention to for Joel Hodgson’s masterful meandering.

And despite his selfish and thoughtless intentions, actually seeing Buck and Steven making shirts is a bunch of fun. It evokes Steven and Greg’s adventures in rocket science from Space Race, but with the wrinkle of Buck demonstrating actual knowledge of the craft to contrast with Steven’s silliness. While the distribution and interpretation of art once it’s complete makes up the episode’s conflict, the creation process itself is joyful and pure, as it should be for a kid making art.

Buck comes around at the end, of course, apologizing to Steven and offering to take guitar lessons. But honestly, the nicer he is to Steven, the weirder his behavior here seems, whether or not he’s a mysterious guy. The best thing I can say about Abrams/Jo character-nuke episodes is that there’s only three of them, and finishing Shirt Club, from that lens, is a huge sigh of relief. 

Future Vision!

The Good Lars not only shows Buck wearing the Guitar Dad shirt, but showing off what he’s learned! And he’ll continue to play guitar as one of Sadie Killer’s Suspects, a band that will eventually be managed by Greg himself.

I guess you could read it that way…

On the one hand, watching this after Joy Ride makes Buck’s cruelty even stranger. But on the other, getting to know him better there, and Bill better in Political Power, makes an examination of their relationship a nice coda.

Tonally, Shirt Club simply doesn’t fit where it’s intended to go. Open Book and Story for Steven at least have their dramatic moments that fit the simmering tension of post-Marble Madness Season 1, but Shirt Club’s lightness thoroughly deflates the momentum. The Gems casually building furniture makes no sense in this time period, and Pearl and Amethyst’s list of fears don’t even hint at them worrying about Homeworld.

Still, the reordering leaves us with pre-Jailbreak Garnet, which is a little confusing without context. (I certainly prioritize this minor continuity error lower than harming dramatic tension.)

Regardless of your opinions about the order shift, I’m happy to say that Shirt Club is the last of it! No more asterisks!

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Buck’s strange meanness doesn’t tank Shirt Club down to the bottom, but it does make me less inclined to rewatch what’s an otherwise wonderful episode about art. It’s a shame, but there’s still a lot to love when you get shirt!

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

On the Run

Warp Tour

Maximum Capacity

The Test

Ocean Gem

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Future Vision

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

     4. Horror Club      3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure

#shirt club #steven universe #su #steven universally #review