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carmenized-onions · 2 days

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I Want To. | Wellness Check

logline; Such is life, you go from not being needed at The Bear today to being more needed than you ever have been.

[!!!] series history, this is the fourth; First, Second, Third

portion; 4.7k+

possible allergies; a dash of Tony's former paramedic background (and just medical shit in general) in this one, so, a sprinkle of post-trauma stress (and her usual yikes psyche). Mikey comes up a bit, as usual! despite the ops, we ball.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (pretty unavoidably gendered episode, mb non-fem folks)

we'll talk after babe, have a good time w/ this one.

Falling asleep was easy— par for Carmen fighting to keep his 6:30 am alarm on. When he finds out you don’t have a plug on his side of the bed and he has to charge his phone on your side, he turns it off. Cute.

Well, there’s also the part where you had to ask if he was okay because it sounded like he wasn’t breathing and it turns out —He was not breathing— He then pointed out that it sounded like you weren’t breathing —You were not breathing— Both of you thought the sound of your lungs would bother the other, so you opted not to use them at all. Turns out, counterproductive; you notice each other’s absences pretty well.

But besides that, it's easy. Carmen isn’t an awful bedfellow. He’s not super shifty, he doesn’t tug the blanket, he doesn’t roll all the fucking way over to your side, or anything like that. He’s honestly concerningly still. Is he annoyed that you’ve gotta toss and turn a little to get comfortable? Probably. He's probably dreaming of you exploding right now, he’s so annoyed. He didn’t make fun of your ages old build-a-bear plush nor it’s Cubs jersey, so that was nice. Pity, probably.

...If Carmen wasn’t here, he knows he’d be stirring and kicking and probably sleep-walking to his oven to light it on fire. But he is here. Where kicking would hurt. Where stirring would wake you. Where a fire would cause more anxiety than relief because all your plants and projects would die. Where you washed his hair and told him that taking care of people doesn’t feel like a lot of work to you. Was it not a lot of work, to take care of his brother? Was it worth it, to you? Probably not. How could it be?

He wills his body to not fucking move because if he does it's going to ruin everything. He's going to ruin everything.

He wakes up at 6:30 on the dot, alarm or no. He’d be concerned if his body functioned any differently. But he can’t get to his phone while you’re sleeping in his way and you’re so comfortable. You’re clutching a bear that’s undeniably on a losing team and you’re at peace with it. He’s trying not to make a metaphor out of this in his mind; alas, it’s already there. The only thing he can do is go back to sleep and dream about killing the teenage boy in his head before he can escape again and call you pretty.

It's around ten when you wake up, you try not to wake him when you turn to grab your phone, but the split second of motion makes him flinch like he’s about to get jumped. “Relax!” You hiss, but like, soft, whispered. “I’m doin’ the fuckin’ Wordle, not smothering you with a pillow.”

“You do the Wordle?”

“Oh, fuck you—”

“The first fuckin’ thing you do in the morning is the Wordle?”

“And I do the Crossword too, bitch, what of it?”

“…I like Connections.”

“I fuckin' hate Connections.”

“Alright, damn!”

The Chicago accent in both of you is stronger in your rasping morning voices. As is the laughter. You roll onto your stomach to get closer to him and let him see your screen. Neither of you have entirely woken up yet and that means it’s the perfect time to do a puzzle. If you don't focus on this puzzle right now, you fear you will get too comfortable in this idea of domesticity.

“C’s in the right place. Nothin’ else though.”

He’s the one that figures out its Cumin. You pretend not to be mad about this. You’re furious. Of course, it’d be a spice on the day Mr Food Guy sleeps over. Bullshit.

When you finally sit up, stretch, and say, “I’m just gonna shower real quick ‘nd—”

He’s at a breakneck speed to reply, “I’ll make breakfast.”

“Oh, you cook all the fuckin’ time, you don’t have to—”

“I want to.”

You blink, then shrug, the man likes to cook, c’est la vie. “Who am I to refuse?”

He looks far too happy about this, as though he’s won a lottery. A lottery of manual labour. He rolls out of bed, grabbing his back pack stuffed with yesterday’s clothes before leaving you to your own devices. In a literal sense, too, since you get a text. Ugh.

‘Gigi called in, can you reach?’

You would prefer not to reach, but this is capitalism.

‘When's the shift?’

‘6:30 to 12:30’

Why couldn’t something else at The Bear be fuckin’ broken today?

‘yeah i can reach’

‘that’s my girl, red tops today, see u’

You have also won the lottery of manual labour today. Look at you and Carm, luckiest people alive. Something like that. Alright, go shower and be normal about the fact that there’s a Michelin Star Chef making you breakfast in your kitchen. And he’s prett—

“You make your own bread.”

“I do.” You sit at your own little breakfast nook, waiting to be served. Towel hung around your neck post shower. You’d offer to help, but based on his urgency to cook for you, it’s gonna be a no. Plus, the gift on the table you’ve got for him is going to piss him off enough, can't poke this bear too much. He's already given you a mile. Too many idioms.

“I like to think in another universe I am a homesteader who makes her own soaps and renders tallow n’ shit. But I settle for growing basil and making sourdough in my shitty little Chicago apartment for now.”

“I like your apartment.” He hums, though amused. He turns and sets your plate—the one black plate— in front of you with a small smile. This smile immediately falls when he pushes the plate towards you and you push a travel bag of toiletries towards him.

“Fuck is this?”

“I don’t want to hear any complaints, Irish Spring.”

“How d’you know I use Irish Spring?”

“It’s all five of your routine, it’s going to be pungent— Now listen.” You pick up the bag; you’d dug through your sink cabinet and found a dollar store pack of plastic travel bottles, unused from cancelled trips of yesteryear. You've decanted your own products for him. It's fine, you buy jumbo sizes anyways...

“Shampoo, conditioner, face wash—They’ve even got labels.”

He takes the bag from you, setting it down on his side of the counter, begrudgingly. Though he hasn’t particularly paid it much mind, tunnelled on something else entirely, “Do you not like Irish Spring?”

"I didn't give you a body wash, you can still use it for that one purpose."

"Yeah, but do you not like Irish Spring?"

"...I think it's fine."

“Fine?”

“I’m more of an Old Spice fan.”

“You don’t deserve breakfast—” He pulls your plate, you pull it back.

“All I said—” “Thinkin’ I smell like shit—” “Did not say that—!” “Just cause you use the fruity stuff—” “I smell good! Deny that I smell good!” “You smell fine.” “Wowww—Whatever, do the thing.”

“Bruschetta with a breakfast twist.” Ah, that makes him give you the plate back. His kink is explaining food. “Sourdough toasted, topped with fresh basil—”

“Courtesy of me.”

“Courtesy of you, yes. Tomatoes, bacon glazed in balsamic, and you didn’t have parm so I used feta. And then, y’know, over medium egg on top.”

“You’re very good, Carmen.”

“Oh, I—Uh—” You haven’t even tried it yet. You’re telling him he’s good for the sake of the effort he’s given alone. He needs an antacid. “Thank you.”

It’s redundant to say his food is good. But what else can you say? It’s a fucking perfect open face sandwich. But he’s eating it with you, and half of it’s your own handiwork, and all of your pantry, so you leave your praises purely reaction based, unsaid.

You're honestly a little distracted, reading too hard into the act of him giving you the black plate and taking one of your shitty plastic ones for himself. Time to talk.

“Itinerary for today?”

“Gotta talk chaos menu with Syd before opening, then, well, running the restaurant all night… And then I’ll—I’ll go home.”

“Yeah? You can come back here, if you want to.” Thank God you took a bite in time to hide your selfish disappointment. It’s good for him to go home, but then he’s not here. Real Catch-22.

He shakes his head, “I think I’m good now. Thanks, though. What’s—What’s uh, your plans for today?”

“I’m gonna drop you off wherever you’re going, n’ then I’m gonna go shopping for Syd’s gift—”

“It’s her fuckin’ birthday or somethin?” It’s a delight how immediately panicked he is by this. You're also thankful because he's so distracted it means you won't have to tell him the rest of your plans for today. You'd like to keep that life separate. For as long as possible, at least.

“Nono, it’s just, I didn’t get her anything for her opening night and I wanna change that. I’ll get you something too.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to.” The very idea of waiting for his response is freaking you the fuck out, so you’re quick to clear your voice and add. “I’ll give you my number, in case you end up needing to crash.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. Ey, text me your invoice too.”

You take both your cleared plates to the sink, and the lie is swift. You've gotten a lot better at that, in the past year.

“Oh no worries, your sister already covered it.”

It is 6:30 and your life is over. Kidding. Unless? You dropped off Carmen at the train station hours ago and, to use his words, ‘it’s hit’. He’s at The Bear and there’s nothing for you to fix there— So you’re not.

You’ve only been there like three times and yet it started to feel… Like your thing!

Like, like you’d just come in everyday and… Dunno, fix something... But it’s not like they’re gonna have a crisis everyday. Especially not ones that Fak can't handle himself if needed— There's no way he's gonna last at hosting, anyways. You’re now realizing the unrealistic dream— Possibly more unrealistic than homestead you.

Speaking of, Homestead You would probably throw up, if she saw the you you’re looking at in the mirror right now. You look good. Objectively, you know you look good. The mug is stamped. Your pants are black, high-waisted, and give you an ass. The bright red leather corset top is… Chafing, but it looks good! It's a sweetheart neckline so you have to take off your long rope chain necklace from Mikey and shove it in your pocket— Which is fine and doesn't feel bad at all. And listen, listen, being an on-call bottle girl is good money!

And you might get put on bar tonight! You don’t know for sure if you’re gonna have to juggle around lit up bottles for a bunch of fucking geezers!

...

God, fuck, it’s 10:20 and your life is over.

This group of geezers have been fucking annoying and fucking Cherry wouldn’t get off fucking bar even though you literally covered for her last week and these stupid grandpas asked if gratuity is included— No fucking shit! Did you take their card and put a 40% tip? Yeah, maybe. Fuck them! They’re too fucking rich to notice! And they took three hours to leave! Gonna bash this champagne bottle over his bald fucking—

“Ey! That’s a face I remember.”

You hear your name— Not Tony, not Chip, not Cousin. Your name.

You turn to see, oh fucking hell, let God kill you—

“Uncle J!~ Good to see you!~ What a surprise! It’s Jack, here.” Jack of all Trades. It was cute at the time of sign up. Your smile is bright, fake, strained, and beautiful.

“Been too long, really.” Cicero isn’t a bad guy—Correction: Cicero isn’t a bad guy, to you, but as Mikey once put it, he’s a fuckin’ ball buster and in your case, you’re one of the few people beneath him that he asks favours from. Always wants free labour and your expertise. And he always has a habit of asking for favours the second you need one back. But you don’t need one right now! So it’s fine! Everything’s fine!

“Do your Uncle a favour,”—Fully not your Uncle—“Could you pair me and my friends here with a good red?”

You let it go that they’re having fish and asking for a red. Stupid thing to get hung up over right now. You make a commission of it anyways; you just pick the most expensive bottle. He won’t know the difference. The Bear would know the difference. Carmen would notice the difference... Alright, relax.

While pouring glasses, Jimmy whispers to his compatriots and one by one they all peel off. It is almost alarming how quickly this group of men turn and leave without a second thought, taking their glasses with them.

You raise your brows and look at Cicero. “Ah. This is the moment where I sit?”

He nods, gesturing to the booth. “This is the moment where you sit.”

You slip into the booth, sitting across from him. “What do you need?”

“Right to the point with you.”

“I hate suspense.” You shrug.

“You liked Mikey.”

What the fuck?

You bite your inner cheek, hard. “Don’t say that shit.”

“I liked him too,” He says it solemnly, like your mutual grief is a proper apology. He takes a long sip of his stupid red wine. “Did you hear? Cousin Vinnie and Mira are gettin’ hitched, finally.”

“I have no fucking idea who Vinnie and Mira are.” You take the glass when he hands it to you, taking a sip. Small. You gotta drive home, after all.

“Really? It’s a big wedding—Destination too, in New York—”

“I hate to remind you, but I was friends with Mikey, not his family.” Not his biological one, at least. The Beef, sure. But you literally only met his siblings two days ago. “What’s a wedding gotta do with me?”

He bristles, and finally cuts it short. “Around three hundred guests, seven-hour shift, open bar—” “Oh, for fuckssake—” “Listen—”

“It’s an easy gig, I’ll fly you out for it, it’s a month and a half away, you’ll get to attend a big fuckin’ Italian wedding— Which will be a shitshow, certainly, so free entertainment; and Michelin Star level catering, kind of.”

You squint. Kind of? “You got Carmy in on this shit?”

“You know ‘em?”

You nod, pressing your elbows on the table, “We’ve recently become acquainted. What d’you got on him for him to cater a wedding?”

“He’s eight-hundred grand in the hole.” “Fuck!” “He gets thirty off for catering. Smart boy, said yes.”

Christ, you massage the bridge of your brow with one hand and pull out your phone with another to check your calendar, you might as well see if you can even entertain the idea. You don’t need a favour right now, maybe you can bargain and get him to actually pay you for it, this time.

“I dunno, Uncle J…”

Oh.

28 unread texts from Syd.

3 unread texts from an unknown number— Probably Carmen.

9 missed calls from Syd.

Uncle Jimmy, always, always, has a fucking way, of asking for a favour when you need one…

You slam your phone, screen down on the table, straightening your posture in your seat. “I have demands.”

He motions for you to continue, taking his wine glass back. “You always do.”

“You and your friends are gonna tip a hundred percent tonight.”

“That why you give me a 2016 Fisher?”

“I like to think ahead.”

“Smart girl.” He shrugs, palms of his hands out. Which means yes.

“If Uncle Lee comes up to the bar I’m throwing a fork at him and leaping over the counter.”

He chuckles, “Thought you 'didn’t know family'.”

“I remember what I'm told.”

His amusement fades quickly, remembering first hand. He nods. “…You’re allowed to jump him if I’m watching first.”

“And you’re friends with my boss, right?”

“We’re acquainted.”

“I’m gonna punch out now and you’re gonna smooth that out for me.”

He perks up, amused, glancing at your phone, “Somethin’ come up, Chip?”

“Don’t call me Chip.” He wants to poke at you, just a little bit more, but there’s a rattled look in your eyes that he’s so rarely seen that he lets it go.

He waves his hand, shrugging, “Be safe. I'll send you the details. December wedding, remember.”

At the end of the day, Cicero isn’t a bad guy to you, someone who loved his nephew as much as he did.

You’re running to your car while you dial back Syd. You don’t have time to read the texts, all you need to know is that it’s an emergency. She picks up just after the first ring.

“Syd what the—” “Code blue!”

You almost fall on your face and eat asphalt. For a flash, you’re in the back of an ambulance being handed a defibrillator at the age of 22, surrounded by faces just as scared and young as you. Then you’re back in the parking lot, slotting the key into your car door because the fob doesn’t work. It’s never worked.

“S-Someone’s having a fucking heart attack!?”

“What?!”

“That’s what fucking code blue means!”

“Oh my god! Sorry! No, I was just saying the thing that scares doctors the most!”

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ scared Syd!” You slide into the driver’s seat and slam your car door shut. You take a deep breath, white knuckling the steering wheel. “…I’m-I'm sorry for yelling! Where are you, what’s going on?”

“The—The Bear, the restaurant.” The second you have a location you’re revving off.

“Nat locked herself in the office—” “Like trapped?” This shit again?

“No, no— Like she locked herself in— She did this like two hours ago and I thought she was just taking a breather— But we’ve closed and, and like almost everyone left and she’s still not coming out— And she blocked the door inside— and— And I think she’s trying to hide that she’s basically shrieking in pain every five minutes.”

You take a long time to register anything she’s just said. Her tone is as panicked as you feel on the inside. You’re only now registering the ambient yelling of Richie and Carmen in the background.

“…Did—Can you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah Syd, I’m just thinking.” You don’t step on the gas on purpose, it just happens. “A pregnant woman is screaming in pain— in intervals— behind a blockaded door?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Have you called an ambulance?”

There’s a much more distinct yell in the background from Richie, “No cops!”

Then from Carmen, “No coverage!”

“Yeah…” Syd shakily continues for them, “The insurance is a problem, and Richie said— Motherfucker—” You hear a muffled scrap over the phone before Richie continues on for Syd.

“Er, yeah, Cousin, Sugar keeps yelling that she’s fine ‘n blocked the door, if we call the cops they’re gonna ram that shit down and take her to the loony bin.”

“That’s not— That’s not what paramedics do.”

“That’s what they all do.”

“Richie, y’know, I was a paramedic, right?”

“…You a fuckin’ fed, Chip?”

“Richie, if I was a fuckin' narc you would be in prison by now. I, I— I'll be there in like, like eight minutes, everyone stop fucking yelling at Sugar!”

You’re there in four. You almost rear end someone and you run every yellow you get but you’re there in four. You don’t park properly in the back, you just drive your car in and turn it off in the middle of the lot. You don’t bother to be let in, you just punch the code in as you remember it. As Natalie told you.

“Oh good you—Oh my, God?” Syd is no better than a man in this moment, going from grateful for your presence to being one intrusive thought away from whistling.

You did not have time to change out of your ...outfit and someone has been hogging your Carhartt. You pass Syd quickly, waving a hand in front of her face. Goddammit, why do your boot heels have to have that incredibly satisfying femme fatale click right now?

“Alright— Relax—”

“Holy shit, Chippy!” Richie was yelling at Sugar through the door along with Carm, but once alerted to your presence is now snapping his fingers. You'd describe him more as impressed than actually attracted to you. “You clean up!”

“Cousin, are you—” He grabs Carmen’s face, turning it to you— Carmen does of course, immediately slap Richie’s hand away which of course, means they just start smacking each other's hands. Like preteen girls. “Ey, get the fuck off—” “I just want you to look at a pretty girl, Cousin—!” “Stop fuckin’ touchin’ me!” “Are you looking!?” “I—”

“Everyone shut the fuck up!”

You silence the room. You’re thankful most of the staff has left by now since it’s well after close. It's just Carmen, Syd, Richie, Tina, and Fak for some goddamn reason...You can't be mean you're handymen, you have to stick together.

“I look different from the usual jumpsuit, yes, we get it, can we move on? Pregnant woman?”

Syd is the first to speak, “…Were you on a date, though?”

You blink and roll your eyes all at once, twisting your head to her, “Syd—”

“It’s good to see you getting out there, baby.” Tina, deeply unhelpful in this moment, puts a hand around your shoulder. Oh to have a mother’s judgment when she’s not even your mother.

“O-kay!” You drag on the ‘kay’, clapping your hands together, “Everyone, just get your thoughts out in the next five seconds and then we’re moving on.”

“Chippy, I cannot believe you’ve held this out on me—” “—I meant it like-like a concerned, did we interrupt your date—” “—The red is unbelievable on you, Cousin!” “I need you to teach me how you do your makeup—” “Can you— can you yell again—?” “Fak!” “Oh, so that’s too much?”

A cacophony, it continues on. Your eyes glaze over, and you’re waiting for Sugar to let out a scream so everyone remembers the fucking point of being here. But then you look at Carmen. Everyone’s pivoted from staring at you to yelling at each other. But Carmen; Carmen is still looking at you. Stupid soft scary eye contact. And his voice is so much quieter than the yelling but it’s the thing that you hear anyways.

“It looks tight.”

There’s a possibility that when you killed the teenage girl inside you that you also killed the feminist. Because there’s a small sub-sect of you that’s upset that he’s not objectifying you right now. That his vision is focused on you. Not the changes. He doesn’t seem to look at you any differently than when you’re wearing a jumpsuit and utility belt, covered in toilet water. This should not be annoying and yet it is.

“It is.”

He nods, eye contact unshifting, unblinking, “You wanna change?”

“Maybe after we find out whether or not your sister is in labour.”

He nods. He takes a second but he nods.

You approach him, rather, the door, knocking gently. Everyone quiets down.

You clear your throat, and once more, the persona is put on, you’re a paramedic, putting on that soft but firm reassuring authoritative tone. “E-M Rescue, I got a call for a wellness check on Natalie Berzatto?”

“Tony—” A groan of pain behind the door, “I am perfectly well! Everyone go home!”

You grimace, you motion with your hand for Fak to hand you a screwdriver— He keeps one in his breast-pocket, even when wearing a suit. Hey, you should start doing that.

“Nat, I’m a paramedic— Or I was—will you please let me in?”

“I don’t— Fuck! —Need a paramedic!”

“Never hurts to do a check-up, Nat.” You speak calmly, like you always did. “Listen, lover, if you don’t open the door, I’m gonna have to take it off its hinges, and we're gonna lose medic patient confidentiality.”

When she doesn’t reply after a good beat, you start to unscrew the top hinge; she can hear it, “Wait, wait, wait— Fuck-Fuck— I’m opening it!”

There’s another series of pained groans as she exerts herself to open the door, and once she does, it’s only by a crack, to look at you and you alone. She’s absolutely been crying. She speaks in a whispered tone. “Just you.”

You nod, handing the screwdriver back to Fak without breaking eye contact with her. “Just me.”

She cracks it open just enough for you to come in. And so, you do. Everyone is, for the first time, too worried about her shutting down to interrupt or yell a complaint.

You close the door behind you, pressing your back to it. You note the toppled over chair by your feet that she must’ve blocked it with. Plus the puddle of amniotic fluid beneath her. Oh fuck.

...

“You wanna talk or do you just want me to check your contractions?”

“I’m—” She shakes her head, covering her face. She half sits on the desk. “I’m fucking— I am not ready for this.”

“Yeah.” You nod. You’re not here to convince anyone they’re ready to be a fucking mother. But you’re here to listen, certainly.

“She’s gonna hate me.”

“Who?”

“Her—!” Her voice is choked, another contraction. You’re silently taking the time in your head. She points to her stomach.

“And— And we just opened, and— And I’m gonna have to go on maternity leave, which is the last fucking thing we need and— and— If I could just fucking keep her in!”

“Natalie.” You put a hand on her shoulder, she finally looks at you. “This is happening.”

“Not help—fu—ll.”

“I know it’s not. This is scary and there are no take backs—” “Very unhelp—”

“Nat, your daughter wants to meet you.”

You squeeze her shoulder; she looks like she’s gonna cry all over again for a completely different reason. “She probably won’t hate you. Who’s to say. But I know you’ll love her. And that’s enough, isn’t it?”

She nods, emphatically, but something is still bothering her. You squeeze her shoulder again. You whisper, so even if everyone’s ear is pressed to the door— Which you doubt, she’s screaming after all, they won’t hear.

“Carmen will still know you love him, even when you're not here.”

She immediately goes for a hug, you reciprocate with a shuddered ease. She sniffs, head on your shoulder. She stays there for a while before letting you go, nodding. “Okay.”

You hand her the tissue box next to her on the table, she takes it thankfully, crushing it in her hand. Another contraction. Oh, that couldn't have been more than 2 minutes. Oh fuck.

You kneel down in front of her, and you’re simply no longer in your body as a person but just the paramedic. You could not be more thankful that she’s wearing a dress today. Awkward requests of spreading legs and pulling off underwear aside, Natalie’s daughter does in fact really want to meet her. Oh fuck.

You look up at Natalie, between her knees, you speak cool, professional. “You’re crowning. This is gonna have to happen here. I'll have someone call your husband.”

You’re so calm that it doesn’t give Natalie the feeling or need to freak out, she just breathes. “Okay. Okay.”

You stand upright. “Do you prefer this office or somewhere else?”

“I can’t— Move.”

“Makes sense. Makes total sense. Okay. I’ll go get everything we need, I’ll be right back. I might send some people in, okay, love?”

She just grunts in reply, nodding, now that she’s not in as much emotional pain, she can entirely focus on her brutalizing physical pain.

“Oh, hey, I know—” You grab her purse, pulling out her phone and ear buds, handing them to her with haste, your calm demeanour is faltering just a bit. “Listen to some music, loud, y’know, chill…” You put the pods in her ear for her. She’s again, in too much pain to tell you to fuck off, and just plays her music loud.

You softly open the door, smiling just a bit too much as you leave, and very softly close the door behind you. Looking at the motley crew before you, your persona immediately falls apart. You really only wanted her to play music so you could scream. “Oh, my fucking God.”

“What’s happening, she good?” What a sweet, stupid brother, Sugar has.

You purse your lips together, eyes wide, shaking your head. “She’s going to give birth in like— Maybe six minutes. Max ten.” Everyone goes to speak in an uproar of panic, and then you slap yourself in the face. Hard. That stuns them silent.

“Alright!” You press your hands over your eyes, “Tina!”

She’s been around this block before, “What do you need?”

“Can you go sit in there with her? Tell her all the breathing exercises and shit? Keep her calm? Coming from you it won’t seem so—”

“Condescending as fuck?”

“Yes, exactly, can you?”

“Gotchu, baby.” She claps your shoulder when she walks past and into the office.

You clap hers in tandem, “Thank you, Mama—Okay, Richie!”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna need you to call Nat’s husband—”

“Why do I—”

“Because you’re a fuckin’ dad, Rich, and he will need you!” You’re yelling all pissed, snapping your fingers at him, but he does light up when you say it like that. “I don’t care if he wets his fuckin’ bed, tell him to get here!”

He salutes, walking off, “Aye aye, Cap’n Chip.”

You shake off the sting in your hand, God, you really did slap yourself too hard. You turn to the next targets. “Syd, Fak.”

Syd responds hesitantly for the both of them, since Fak is silently enjoying your colonel persona a little too much. “…Yes, C-Captain?”

“I need towels, a lot of clean towels— cloth ones, like sanitized clean— Warm half in water— And then I need a clean sheet— A table cloth or something, I don’t fucking care, something clean and big that you’re fine destroying. I need sterile sheaths, Syd you get those— Other than that, however they get to me, I don’t give a shit— Just scrub in before you touch anything!”

They almost knock into each other the way they run so fast. You yell after them. “Get the big sheet first, she needs to lay down!”

“Yes, Chef!”

You take a deep breath before moving your gaze onto Carmy. The screaming lead EM in you melts off your shoulders, just for the second.

He asks before you can even say anything, “Yes, Chef?”

“I need you to scrub in and get me gloves and an apron—” “On it, Chef—” “And you’re gonna sit in with me for the birth of your niece.”

He cringes, not to refuse, but just the mounting reality of the situation is dawning on him. His sister is going to give birth to his niece in their shared office of his high-class restaurant within it's first week of open.

But you then tag on, “Carmy, she needs you— Frankly, I’m not the one giving birth but fuckin' I need you. T-There.”

He softens instantly, like tranquilizing— Well, a bear.

“Yes, Chef.”

I know the opening probably feels so far away by now, but i do want to note that Breakfast Bruschetta is my own recipe that I used to make like every fuckin' day pre-employment. It's so goddamn good. I highly recommend it, babes. It's balsamic with brown sugar dissolved, btw, Carmy's just a quick explainer.

I wrote like a solid 75% of the labour sequence before deciding it just needed to have the breathing room of it's own chapter, so until next time for that one bbs. But I'm excited for it! And also dreading it! A lot of hard conversations combined with giving birth = nightmare to write, but well worth it, i think. Speaking of: I don't believe at the end of Season 2 that Sugar is at the end of her term of 36 weeks, but in our case here, she is. I'm very much so not interested in a very scary premature birth for our girl!! She's okay!! Dw!! I just wonked with time a little, hope that's okay.

And hey, look at that reveal! Bartender/Sommelier was code for bottle service-- Which is a very respectable career, btw, don't get it twisted-- I was critiquing it only in the way I would critique literally any other job: Misery Under Capitalism. And now we've got that fuckin' wedding in the future midst! Ah!!

Anyways please send me your thoughts ad nauseam, I reload my activity feed every 3 seconds to see what you guys are thinking. If you reblog, tell me what you think in the tags!! Yell at me in the replies!! Send an anon in!! I don't bite, I swear <3

#carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy x reader #the bear fanfiction #the bear x reader #carmy the bear #the bear fx

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bots-and-cons · 23 hours

Note

Ok ok, remaking order

I asked for a headcanon about the prime time reacting to the reader (preferably a woman), who is between 18 and 20 years old and works in a bar, as a bartender, and who sometimes needs to deal with some drunks causing problems (some slightly aggressive)

I forgot there is a character limit for headcanons and that's why I didn't specify which

I would like Optimus and Ratchet.. and if possible, a small exception, Ultra Magnus 🥺

Well that's it, I just didn't specify which characters, sorry about that, thanks for listening, have a nice day/night ❤️

A/N: I didn’t do Magnus since it’s a two character limit per HC request, but I hope this is otherwise okay

~Ratchet~

•There were bars on Cybertron too of course, such as Maccadam’s Old Oil house, so he does know what bartenders do

•He picked you up one night after your shift, and you got to talking about how it had gone

•There are quite a few regulars that visit the bar very often, and they make sure no random people bother you

•Of course there are sometimes people who like to pick a fight when they’re drunk, but you’re quite good at talking them down

•Ratchet is a bit worried about your safety, because at least on Cybertron the bars were pretty freaking rowdy and chaotic

•It can sometimes be like that for you too, but it’s pretty rare for there to be any customers that are aggressive towards you, they mostly just fight amongst themselves, if they even do

•Because of your profession, you’re a very good listener and people love opening up to you and just talking your ear off

•Ratchet notices himself doing this sometimes too, you’re just very easy to talk to

•Your job isn’t exactly glamorous, but you enjoy it

•You’re often confiscating car keys from your customers, because they’re too drunk to drive so you have to put them in a cab

•Ratchet is well aware that you have to make a living, and he’s not going to tell you what work you can or can’t do, but it doesn’t stop him from worrying about you

•He sometimes comes to the bar in his holoform, just to keep you company, but that’s a rare treat since his time is very limited

•Ratchet doesn’t drink much if at all, and he doesn’t want to distract you from actual customers, so he just sits at the end of the bar and nurses a glass of whiskey or something

•He’s just there to keep an eye on things and to make sure you’re fine

~Optimus Prime~

•Optimus thinks your profession is quite interesting, especially the people side of it

•He isn’t the most talkative sort, but once he drinks some high grade, he does get a bit more talkative

•He can only imagine how many odd things you might hear from all those drunken people you serve on a daily basis

•Some people just need to vent their troubles, even if they don’t really get drunk, they just need someone to talk to

•Of course you get hit on a lot too, being an attractive, young lady, but that kind of comes with the territory

•You get harassed every now and then, which you tell Optimus about, but there’s not really anything he can do about it, he just listens if you need to vent

•Optimus comes to visit you at the bar every now and then, and he sometimes calls you when he knows you have a break, just to ask how you’re doing

•When Optimus does end up at the bar, he does have a couple of drinks but the whole holoform thing has lifted his tolerance to high heavens so he doesn’t really get drunk at all

•But it does still make him more talkative, and he ends up sounding like an army veteran at the bar, because of all the battles he’s talking about and stuff like that

•You have to sometimes stop him from talking because he starts sounding a bit unhinged to people who aren’t privy to who he really is

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #autobots #ratchet #optimus prime #tfp headcanons #reader insert #platonic transformers x reader #tfp x reader #transformers x reader

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ageingfangirl2 · 3 days

Text

Let Me Help You Idiot! Hajime Kokonoi (Tokyo Revengers)

You met Koko when you were younger, and he took you under his wing. As an inspiring designer, you loved to make him nice clothes. As you get older, you want to be more independent, but Koko will always look out for you. Kokonoi x Reader (Bonten Timeline)

From the moment you were born, you had to fight tooth and claw to survive. Your dad left when you were three, leaving you and your mum with nothing. Your mum went back to being a hostess, meaning you were left alone in the single-room apartment you had. She was good at her job, earning lots of money and expensive gifts from suitors. But she had addictions and spent the money on drugs. From a young age, you had to fend for yourself and learn to survive, from clothing and making meals to keeping the apartment clean and ensuring mum put enough money aside for bills. Luckily, the neighbours took pity on you and helped pay for your school things, and one lady taught you how to sew, saying it would help you in the future to have a skill to pay the bills. You kept up your sewing throughout school, getting better and managing to sell some of your wares at a local market on the weekend.

This is where you met Hajime Kokonoi, and you took pride when he complimented the intricate details you embellished your clothes with. He decided you were going to be his personal designer in the future, and he was going to help you make a name for yourself.

PRESENT DAY

Koko kept his promise to help you, using his money and connections to get you into a good design school. All he asked in retum was you make all his clothes custom and free of charge, and of course you said yes because it was the least you could do. By now, he was on executive in Bonten, a criminal organisation and he liked to look nice because he had an image to maintain.

After working for a couple of designers, you saved enough to open your own shop in Tokyo, and it felt nice to pay with your our money instead of Koko's. Bonten kept Koko busy, so you didn't like bothering him unless he called you. You had one big problem, you had no real clue about money and expenses of running a business. And now you had to pay taxes on top of that, which went over your head. You chose to focus on commissions to make more money and filled in all the forms to the best of your abilities. Little did you know it would come back to bite you in the ass.

KOKO

I was busy dealing with the financial mess Sanzu had left for me after his last mission.

'I'm surrounded by idiots,' I groan, rubbing my temples.

'Err boss, I have the reports you asked for,' some lacky who's name I didn't deem important to lean stutters, standing in the doorway of my office. Even though y/n had paid for their shop and was getting quite a few comissions, I liked to keep an eye on them. They were a year younger than me and had become like a younger sibling I felt protective over. When we met up, we didn't talk about money, and I knew if they had a problem, they would come to me for help. However, my eyes widened, seeing the financial report in front of me.

'What the hell?' I gasp.

How could they be so careless when it came to finance? Firstly, they were paying way too much rent for the area, and secondly, the government wasn't happy with their taxes, which they had underpaid. They were close to losing their shop and facing a big penalty from the government who thought they were committing fraud.

I grabbed my jacket and car keys, needing to see them before the problem got out of hand. I run out of my office, ignoring Sanzu, having bigger fish to fry.

The light was still on in the shop when I pulled up outside. They liked to work late if they had a deadline. I enter the shop and the bell pings. I lock the door behind me and turn the open sign to closed.

'Hi, how can I help you - Koko, what are you doing here?' y/n stares at me, tilting their head to the side in confusion.

I walk over to the counter and put the file down in front of them, 'if you didn't understand, why didn't you ask me to explain?'

They open it, and the colour drains from their face, 'am I in big trouble? I thought I'd look dumb if I had to keep asking you to help me!'

I sigh loudly, 'yeah, well, you look pretty dumb right now, so that didn't work out for you.'

They look down at their feet and shuffle nervously, 'the last time we had coffee, you were stressed dealing with your colleagues' finances. I didn't want to give you any more stress, so I did what the internet told me to do filling out the forms. I'm sorry Koko. What do I do now?'

I walk and the counter and pull them into my arms. I didn't like to show emotion in front of the other executives, but y/n was the exception. I needed to protect them.

I kiss the top of their head, 'in the future don't take any extra comissions after you've submitted your taxes for the financial year until the new one starts or the govenment will think you're committing fraud. I'll get this sorted for you, and remember you can come to me whenever you need help.'

They squeeze me tightly, 'I'll never be able to pay you back, Koko. Sorry for being an idiot.'

I snort, you're the only idiot I can stand.'

Not wanting them to stress anymore, I'd also handle the rent problem for them, no one messed with the people close to me.

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thaisibir · 1 day

Text

SEES members react to getting anesthesia: headcanons from a real anesthetist

(Go here for post on Phantom Thieves react to getting anesthesia)

Makoto: the guy who secretly smokes weed, chews through roc every 15 minutes, needs over 1.5 MAC maintenance sevo. (Laymans terms translation: smokes weed so he burns through a ton of muscle paralytic agent (rocuronium) and anesthetic gas (sevoflurane) needed to keep him relaxed and deeply asleep)

Yukari: had her hair and nails done the day before surgery, wakes up from anesthesia asking if she said anything dumb and apologizing if she did. (Complimenting patients on their nice nails is part of my small talk to attempt calming nerves when they're rolled into the OR)

Junpei: would try to fight anesthesia and count past 10 seconds, tries to cheat by counting fast (he loses anyway) (It's so amusing when patients try to challenge anesthesia. Some put up a good fight, but in the end, anesthesia always wins.)

Mitsuru: takes 300 mg of propofol on anesthetic induction, scares the shit out of OR staff when she still reaches for the airway device as the anesthetist tries to insert it. (Redheads tend to need more anesthetic than average. For context, the induction/knock-you-out dose for propofol is about 2 mg/kg. For frail old people, I halve that dose. Most people don't need more than a single 20 ml syringe/200 mg of propofol. I push 200 mg for big tall football/basketball guys. I've seen redheads take at least 2, even 3 syringes. Mitsuru would be a tough one to knock out.)

Akihiko: the extremely athletic ASA 1 guy with baseline bradycardia bordering on need for anticholinergics. Will most definitely wake up swinging fists and knocking out teeth and trying to jump out of the bed if he didn't get enough sedative on board beforehand. (Healthy athletic young patients (HAY patients, I call them) tend to wake up violently and delirious from anesthetic gas. To mitigate this, there's a sedative called precedex that helps smooth out emergence from anesthesia. Good to give for little kids, teenage girls, and big strong-looking guys. As soon as I see I'll be getting an Akihiko/HAY type patient for an upcoming case, I already know to draw up and dilute precedex to have at the ready.)

Fuuka: actually a very pleasant and compliant patient, but has family history of malignant hyperthermia and allergies to practically everything, apologizes for all the trouble. (Malignant hyperthermia is a very rare, but very deadly anesthetic complication if not treated promptly. Many anesthesia providers go through their entire careers without ever seeing MH, but we're trained to know what to do if it ever happens. Anesthetic gases and a muscle paralytic agent called succinylcholine are MH triggers. The anesthesia machine must be completely removed of the gas canisters and flushed through with high flow oxygen for an hour or so, to really make sure none of that stuff is exposed to an MH patient. I like the idea of Fuuka turning out to be a patient requiring an extensive anesthetic plan when she totally wouldn't mean to)

Ken: the rare kid who's cool with getting an IV in preop. (Pediatric patients typically do not get an IV placed before being rolled back to the OR, as most kids are terrified of needles. Induction of anesthesia in the OR must instead be achieved by delivering high flow anesthetic gas through a mask. Once the kid is unconscious from the gas, then an IV can be placed to give medications throughout a case intravenously. Amada seems like the type to be fine with getting an IV placed when he's awake because that's what adults have to do.)

Aigis: is a robot, physically can't process anesthesia. (Probably goes without saying)

Koromaru: Mitsuru or Akihiko, as the oldest members of SEES, act as guardians to sign anesthesia consent forms. Holds out his front leg and rolls over to offer his chest so staff can put on the blood pressure cuff and EKG stickers. Adored by the vet and vet techs for being so smart and adorable.

Shinjiro: the guy you think would smoke weed and drink a lot but actually has a history of post-operative nausea and vomiting (PONV) and prolonged emergence from general anesthesia. (Somehow I like the idea of Shinjiro turning out to be a delicate flower when it comes to anesthetic requirements)

#persona 3 #persona 3 reload #persona 3 headcanon #makoto yuki #akihiko sanada #mitsuru kirijo #yukari takeba #junpei iori #koromaru #fuuka yamagishi #ken amada #aigis persona 3 #shinjiro aragaki #p3r has been my comfort game after work for 2ish months and i wanted to combine the two somehow #when i finish p4g i will try to make a post for the investigation team

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danieyells · 11 hours

Text

@mayoigotokurousagi also asked for Sho, so here are my favorite of Sho's voicelines! He's a lil more chill--most of the excitement for him is because Leo's causing him trouble, so maybe there won't be as many since it's just him? (Spoiler: i still put nearly all of them, or it feels that way. . . .)

Also sorry this one took way longer haha i had to do some irl stuff and i was pretty tired too lol. . .may not get to the next ones for a few days since i have to wake up early tomorrow and i work double shifts all weekend. But i'll try and find time for it.

No affinity required:

"Did you just see a creep in a black mask over there?

...Nah, never mind. I'm hallucinating."

……今、あそこに黒マスクした胡散臭ぇやつ歩いてなかったか？

……いや、なんでもねぇ。幻覚だわ

Hey Sho? What the fuck does that mean??? What do you mean a creep in a black mask no no don't fuckin brush that off get back here motherfucker????

Affinity 1:

"Too early... What's Leo doing today?

Guess I'll text him."

ねっみ……玲音のやつ、今日はどうすんだ？

一応Ｄチャしとくか……

Keeps in touch with his boyfriend lol

Affinity 2:

"Freakin' sasquatch... Would it kill him to approve an R&R permit every once in a while?"

ったく、あのデカブツ……外出許可くらい出せっつの

Affinity 3:

"Class? What's the point? It's all written in the textbooks—all you gotta do is memorize it."

授業？　あんなん出なくても全部教科書に書いてんだからよ。そのまま覚えりゃいいだけだろ？

Doesn't go to class because he's smart enough to memorize the contents of the textbook I guess! Plus he doesn't care about Real Missions so knowing how to do the hard stuff doesn't matter to him haha

Affinity 5(8pm-10pm, 12am-5am):

"(yawn)

What time is it?

Seriously? Damn, overslept."

ふぁあ…… 今何時だ……？マジかよ、寝すぎたわ

Neither he nor Leo sleep at night lmao

Affinity 6:

"Huh, haven't ridden a skateboard since middle school but I guess I still have the muscle memory.

Watch this, I'm gonna do a trick."

中坊ぶりにスケボー乗ったけど、意外と体が覚えてんだな。トリック決めてやるよ、見ててみ？

Affinity 7:

"Nice, got an order. More demand than I thought.

Getting Leo to make this app was a good call."

お、出前の予約が入ったわ……思ったより需要あってよ。

玲音に予約アプリ作らせたの正解だったな

Leo has a line that references this one!

Affinity 8:

"What's Mido texting me for? come tot hr epuit...

Pfft. What the hell is this, some kinda secret code?"

あ？　御堂センパイからＤチャ？『血か二個い』って…… ぷっ……なんだこれ、暗号かよ

Ksvdhdisn Alan is adorable. . .i love technologically incompetent characters. Poor bby can't even text. . . . .

Affinity 9:

"Shit, my whole body's killing me...

Sparring five sets of fifteen rounds, are you kidding me? Mido's insane..."

クソ、筋肉痛がやべぇ…… 御堂センパイ、スパー１５ラウンド５セットとか正気じゃねぇよ……

Affinity 10:

"What am I gonna do tomorrow... Got nothing on, guess I could go to class...

That asshole's on the schedule. Pass."

明日どうすっかな……暇だし、たまには授業出とくか？ ……あいつのコマあるわ。やめとこ

Lmao "i guess i could go to class--wait my brother's teaching one of them tomorrow? Fuck that then."

Affinity 12:

"This? It's a fishing rod. Sometimes I catch and filet the fish myself.

It's pretty easy, and it saves cash."

あ？　これか？　釣り竿だよ。たまに自分で魚釣ってさばくわけ。

簡単だし、コスパ良いだろ？

Fishing with Sho. . .sounds nice and chill. Also did the pc not recognize a fuckin fishing rod. . . .

Affinity 14:

"You think I look grumpy?

The stream for the finals started at 3 AM, what do you want me to do about that?

(yawn)"

……あ？　機嫌が悪ぃって？

しょうがねぇだろ……決勝の中継、夜中の３時開始だぜ？　

ふぁあ……

Staying up late to watch a basketball game, much like Leo he does not go to bed until the sun's up ordinarily lmao

Affinity 15:

"Hey... Pfft. What are you panicking for?

You need to be somewhere? Hop on—I'll give you a ride."

お、センパイじゃん。ぷっ……なんだよその余裕ねぇ顔。

急いでんなら、乗っけてってやろうか？

Affinity 16:

"You hungry, {PC}?

I made lunch, but Leo bailed on me, so I was just gonna eat it myself."

センパイ、腹減ってねぇ？

昼飯作ったんだけどよ。玲音のやつ来ねぇし、食っちまおうと思って

Sho: hey our boyfriend ditched me wanna have lunch with me

Affinity 17:

"Last year I would've been in a club around this time. Leo was always getting in fights though, so we got banned from almost every joint in Shibuya."

昔はこの時間、毎日��ラブいてよ。玲音がすぐ喧嘩すっから、渋谷の箱ほとんど出禁になっちまったけどな

Menace boyfriend Leo lmao

Affinity 20:

"Seriously, it's way too early for this...

What? I'm going to class. You're the one who wouldn't shut up about it."

はぁ……マジねみぃ…… あ？　今から授業行くんだよ。あんたが行けってうるせぇからだろ

Ordinarily doesn't go to class(a lot of them don't tbh, and Luca says the classes are elective so the ghouls probably don't have to) but will go if you want him to I guess! Leo's gonna call him whipped but Leo already knows he's whipped because he's the one who's been whipping him--

Affinity 21:

"I've finally got the hang of running this food truck. I want to thank you for helping me out—think of something you want."

キッチンカーも大分慣れてきたわ。手伝ってもらった礼もしてぇし、何か欲しいもの、考えといて

Affinity 22:

"Huh? No, I don't really need any help today...

You don't have to make excuses to hang out with me, you know. Just ask."

手伝い？　今日は特にねぇけど……

センパイ、俺と一緒にいたいって、素直に言えば？

"senpai, why don't you just tell me honestly if you wanna be with me?" Is the Japanese here I think and. idk i love that. He's catching on and teasing you a little.

Affinity 23:

"What time you planning on heading home, {PC}?

Anytime's fine for me. You can stay over if you want."

センパイ、今日何時に帰る予定？俺は別に、何時でも…… なんなら、泊まってってもいいぜ？

Affinity 24:

"Can't sleep? Come over here—I'll warm you up.

Pfft... I was kidding, don't get mad."

なんだよ……寝れねぇのか？あっためてやるから、こっち来い。ぷっ……冗談だって。怒んなよ

WERE YOU KIDDING THO. WERE YOU?

Spring:

"Pretty warm out lately, huh? Bet it's already snorkeling season in Okinawa. I used to go pretty often."

もう大分あったかくなってきたな。沖縄じゃ、シュノーケリングできる時期だぜ？　昔はよく行ってたわ

He plays basketball, he skateboards, he fishes, he snorkels, this bitch loves sports lol

"If I can get an R&R permit granted, I want to go for a solo ride. Haven't been for ages, and riding through the cherry blossoms this time of year feels awesome."

外出許可出たらよ、久々にひとりで走りてぇわ。この時期の桜坂辺り、最高に気持ちいんだよな……

Summer:

"Damn, I'm melting here... I need a haircut.

Nah I don't need a barber, I just do it myself. 'Course I'm serious."

クソ暑ぃ……そろそろ髪切んねぇとな…… 美容院？　めんどくせぇから自分で切ってっけど。マジだぜ？

"Sweating my ass off over here... It's been like a year since I last played basketball. Mido's core's gotta be made of steel...

Oh, is that water for me? Thanks."

暑ぃ！　バスケしたの１年ぶりか？御堂センパイ、体幹強すぎだろ…… お、水くれんの？　サンキュ

"Summer homework? Nah, haven't done it yet. Only takes a day, right?

Pfft... You want me to help you?"

夏の課題？　まだやってねぇけど。あんなもん一日で終わるだろ？ぷっ……センパイ手伝ってやろうか

"Leo won't shut up about wanting to let off fireworks, but no way am I doing that shit with him again. I'm sure you can guess why."

玲音が花火してぇってうるせぇんだけどよ、俺は二度とあいつとはやんねぇって決めてんの。わかんだろ？

Autumn:

"Yesterday when I was fishing in the river I saw this guy who looked like one of the Frostheim ghouls out there. Can't have been though, right?"

昨日川釣り行ってきたんだけどよ、フロストハイムの奴に似てんのがいた気がすんだよな……人違いか？

"Geez, don't pipe up outta the blue like that.

...What? You gotta a problem with me reading a book?"

ビビった。いきなり声かけんなよ。 ……なんだよ、その顔。俺が本読んでちゃ悪ぃのか？　あ？

"Pfft... Hey, {PC}. Come over here.

Geez, what're you doing walking around with a leaf in your hair?"

ぷっ……【名★前】センパイ、ちょっとこっち来い。ったく、なんで髪に葉っぱ付けてんだよ……

Winter:

"Damn, I really wanna go snowboarding. I used to go every year before I ended up here...

Think they got a good slope in Frostheim?"

マジでスノボ行きてぇ……ここ来る前は、毎年必ず行ってたのによぉ。フロストハイムで滑れねぇの？

"I'm freezing my ass off... I just saw Mido walk past in a T-shirt. Are his nerve endings dead?"

クソ寒ぃ……さっき御堂センパイ、Ｔシャツ１枚で出てったんだけど。自律神経狂ってんじゃねぇ？

Apparently I'm Alan lmao i too experience less cold than other people

Sho's birthday:

"What, you're gonna celebrate my birthday? What do I want for a present? Hmm...

I'll take you.

Just kidding."

へぇ、俺の誕生日祝ってくれんの？プレゼント……

じゃあさ、あんたのことくれよ。

なんてな

New Years:

"What'd I wish for at midnight? For this year to be peaceful...

Not that any gods are listening out for us."

新年の願い事ねぇ……今年こそ、平穏無事に過ごせますように…… って、神様叶える気ねぇだろな

Well when you've been chosen by demons. . .yeah, you're probably not on the good side of many gods.

Valentine's Day:

"Yeah, these are all the chocolates I got. No idea how I'm gonna get through them all...

So? You didn't get me anything?"

ああ、これ全部もらったチョコ。これ食いきんのきちぃんだよな…… で、センパイは俺にくれねぇの？

I'm surprised Leo's wasn't similar to this tbh. Like, Leo's an influencer, why didn't he mention getting a metric fuckton of valentine's day chocolate? I'm happy Sho's loved by the students tho haha.

White Day:

"Baking sweets and cooking are totally different. It's not really in my wheelhouse, but...

here. My firsts. Thanks for the chocolates."

菓子作りと料理は別もんだからよ、普段はやんねぇんだけど…… はい。俺の初焼き菓子、お返しにどうぞ

THE FIRST TIME HE EVER BAKED AND IT'S FOR YOU what a sweetheart.

Halloween:

"You really need an explanation? Leo made me wear it! Shit, why am I always the girl..." ああ？　言わなくてもわかんだろ。玲音に着せられたんだっつの！クソ、なんで毎年女装なんだよ……

Your boyfriend best friend makes you crossdress for him on Halloween on a yearly basis. . .and you do it!!!

Christmas:

"Sorry for making you help me prep all these roast chicken orders...

Wanna do something Christmassy together once we're done?"

センパイ、チキンの注文さばくの手伝わせて悪ぃ…… 今日の分片付いたら、俺らもクリスマス楽しもうぜ

1+ day without logging in(?):

"What took you so long? Your food's cold.

Go wash up."

遅ぇよ……あんたの飯、冷めちまっただろ。

さっさと手ぇ洗ってこい

Alright, mom.

I STILL FEEL LIKE I CHOSE A BUNCH. . .Sho is pretty lowkey.

#tokyo debunker #shohei haizono #sho haizono #danie yells at tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker spoilers #datamining cw #sho is also just a guy. but he perorms the character of 'just a guy' well

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 1 day

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HALOOO IT'S ME, 🦀 ANON YAYYYY <3 I come here with a simpler request yippeeee, RoR characters finding out that their fem!S/O actually has very curly hair, but she tended to straighten it when they met. So, one time, they come home to her fixing her curls because it was a lazy afternoon and there was no time to style it too much, heheh

Characters for this one: Poseidon, Hades, QSH, Aphrodite, Loki and Anubis <3

-You groaned softly, hearing the knocking on your front door, as you had been dealing with a killer headache since you woke up.

-Being delirious you headed for the door, forgetting that you hadn’t straightened your hair for the day, as that would have required more effort than your headache was allowing you to do.

-You opened the front door, looking a little crabby, “What?” and instantly your eyes went wide, seeing (Love) there who instantly had wide eyes, seeing you there, looking like you had just crawled out of bed.

-Your eyes went wide, internally panicking but before you could close the door, to run and hide, (Love) quickly had you in their arms.

-You pouted, sitting on his lap as he snuggled you, running his hands through your hair, “I had no idea you had such curly hair! Why don’t you wear it natural?” you turned to him, trying to fight off a smile, seeing him looking so happy, “Because it’s a pain to get untangled, and it frizzes badly in certain weather. It’s easier to maintain when it’s straightened.” He pulled you back into his arms, rubbing his cheek against the top of your hair, feeling how soft it was. You couldn’t help but smile, silently agreeing to keep your hair natural occasionally.

-Anubis, Loki, and Qin Shi Huang

-She was completely obsessed with how your hair looked naturally, running her fingers through it, wanting to play with it. When you told her that you straighten your hair usually, she wanted to see what products you were using before scolding you for constantly straightening your hair, as it could be damaging it. You couldn’t help but smile at her, seeing her caring so much about your hair as she immediately had you in her arms, showing you different products that could help with your curls, to make them not so frizzy and to help strengthen your hair. It was a good thing you knew such a beauty trend guru.

-Aphrodite

-Was going to lord your shyness over you for who knows how long, after he easily pushed the door back open when you tried to keep him out. Found it amusing, as he was patting your head, like you were a pet of some sort, feeling the texture of your curls, “It’s so soft.” You were pouting lightly, being held hostage in his arms. You did have to admit that it felt nice, as his nails against your scalp felt soothing, helping with your headache as you slowly dozed off. When you woke back up, he was impressed with the hard work that went into straightening your hair, showing him what you did each day, to prevent frizzing- he had no idea it was so much work.

-Poseidon and Hades

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader #ror anubis #ror loki #ror qin shi huang #ror aphrodite #ror poseidon #ror hades

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hereliesbou · 3 days

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twomp viddy game au???

i have so many stupid au/twomp ideas that never see the light of day... some for good reason!

But for quite a while over the past summer, i fixated on the idea of this twomp arena fighter style game just for fun cause i like the idea of my fav characters beating the shit out of each other. filled the roster with side characters and oc's.

i never had the intention of doing anything with that past daydreaming about it tho.

i do not have the ability to make gam or write fic orz

but anyway, thought about themes for characters, fighting styles, weapon choices, if the character's had weapons, etc. etc.

my favorite idea that came of this was that the game has this rudimentary story mode where Argos is a shop keeper NPC. You know he's nearby when you see clusters of eyes graffiti'd on nearby walls and stuff. Aside from buying and selling, you can interact with him and decide if you want to be a dick to him or be nice to him.

This has consequences!

Aside from Argos NPC, there's a Mr. Plant NPC you can find hanging out in the wild- often nearby wherever Argos sets up shop.

For the most part, he leaves you alone, but his actions towards you change depending on your interactions with Argos.

If you're nice to Argos, this can make prices fluctuate in your favor and maybe you'll find neat little bonus items out in the wild before boss fights and stuff. Argos helps you basically. And so does Mr. Plant from time to time, jumping in during particularly hard fights and then leaving when he's done his job. This is random though.

If you're rude to Argos, Mr. Plant will start stalking you throughout various levels, seeking you out and attacking you. The more you're rude to Argos, the more these aggressive interactions ramp up until it gets to the point where Mr. Plant could just one shot you out of nowhere if he catches you off gaurd.

Eventually Argos gets tired of you being a dick and you unlock the ability to fight him. It's a hard mode type of battle with high(ish) stakes depending on the outcome.

If you lose of course you lose access to Argos' shop which i always imagined was a special shop you gotta seek out versus common shops you'll come across.

Keep an eye out for the eye graffiti if you want the good stuff!!! You know... so as long Argos still likes you.

Not only that, but I feel like Argos would be spiteful enough to make it so that other shop keepers jack up prices for you. Definitely if Mark is one, which i imagine he is a common one to come across lol.

Not to mention Mr. Plant will continue to harass you.

If you win however

This kills the Argos.

And you unlock another fight!

With Mr. Plant.

If Argos' fight is hard, Mr. Plant's is nightmare mode.

I've only really given thought about what happens to the player if you lose and that's that when Mr. Plant kills your character, he deletes your save file and shuts down the game. You lose everything but this makes it so that Argos is alive again.

I like to think everything automatically starts up in hard mode when you start over after this.

If you manage to beat Mr. Plant he also dies, but you're ultimately stuck with only getting bad endings for the rest of that run. The story also takes a shift cause Mr. Plant and Argos are no longer there to fill certain roles.

---

Bonus: i made a playlist of songs that I thought caught the vibes well.

#twomp #playing dolls with the blorbos #twomp aus #me on my silly au shit #divulging my ancient secrets #the world of mr plant #vbou sillies #i have so many of these #and i'll fckn make more too!!!#watch me!!#watch me as i yell at the clouds!!!#senile old man waves stick at the sky #more at 11 #argos twomp #mr plant twomp

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shinjisdone · 3 days

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Hello, if i'm not too late, could i request a Thorfinn x fem!Reader where Reader disguise herself as a boy, kinda like in Mulan, and fights along side Thorfinn and after months of being together Thorfinn finds out Reader it's a woman by accident when she was off guard? I hope I'm not bothering you with this request, have a nice day, or night(?

👆👆👆👆 ooohh this!!! This is a thought I had very often but did not explore that much after all. My own brainrot focuses on a young woman that couldn't hide and instead made it clear that she'd kill any of the bandmates would they try something and Askeladd was like 'aight for every man you kill you gotta replace them with your skills and wit lol'

But someone pretending to be a man like Mulan makes most sense! Anyone would try to go the safest route like that first before risking anything!

This will be like a lot of thoughts in random order of all the possible things that could happen.

@luopenis , @jinsecho , @mitsureigen , @theknightssecrets

S1!Thorfinn with an female/afab!Reader who masks herself as a man!

First and foremost

Askeladd knows.

His men may be fools, tools, real bafoons but he's got a brain. He probably had seen many women pretending to be someone else to avoid idiots like his men.

The leader will never outright spill your secret and will pretend he isn't aware of it either. He understands your situation but will not actively go out of his way to keep you safe. Perhaps shoo a few men away and giving them orders away from your work or turn a blind eye when he is about this close to 'finding' your secret out.

He wouldn't let anyone else, including Thorfinn, find out who you are. Always finds an excuse to keep them away from you when things get dangerously close. But, once the secret's out, he can't do anything to keep you safe.

You think Askeladd's got your back? Hah! This problem is all yours, lassie. Askeladd's not a good man.

Okay, there are many ways for Thorfinn to find out.

It can happen during the very beginning - where the two of you aren't close and he finds out by accident. A splatter of blood on the crotch, your body growing differently than his, a sight he was never supposed to see. Stupid as he is it will definitely leave him stumped.

What will be a bit different however is that Thorfinn is uncharacteristacily calm. You could cry and beg for him to not say and do anything or you could threaten to kill him if he tells the others. There will still be a glare on his face and his tone is as stern as ever but he does not raise his voice nor ball his fists. After dragging you to a safe space and getting your look back on...he will calmly ask you how stupid you must be. You should know how dangerous it is and he'd lowkey be disappointed. You aren't an idiot and yet still you go out of your way to be here.

You shouldn't be. What's he going to do now knowing this? Now he must protect you while acting like nothing is out of place. No odd one out here.

Thorfinn feels frustrated and honestly can't get this realisation out of his head. He will definitely act like nothing happened. Will call you by the name you chose around the others and that you are the same as always.

Once it is the two of you, however? He might think back on the moment where he saw you and it just...frustrates him more. Why does it have to be like this.

Expect to be looked after and chastised like a child. Thorfinn is on the constant lookout. Will keep certain people away from you, will point out if your costume is not convincing enough, if any features could be seen or if you need help. It will leave you frustrated and annoyed for sure.

One day he might even ask you for the name given to you by your parents. Would you always prefer to be called by the name you chose?

In a way, Thorfinn is so stubborn and so certain of his beliefs that he decides to protect you no matter if you agree to it or not. You two could be mere bandmates but the moment he finds out you are born a woman he becomes your weirdly distant but steadfast bodyguard.

If you two are close as described in the request, Thorfinn gets...worse.

As dumb as he is, there may be an...inkling that he has regarding your identity. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew, but would not be aware of it even after he'd find out.

When you two are close, of course Thorfinn is more comfortable and tends to touch you a lot. Never inappropriately no matter who you are but he never really thinks of his actions as inappropriate anyway. So if you sometimes scoot away from his touch or ask to be not touched at certain areas (where you lie and say there's a wound that still needs healing) he might be confused.

If you ask to be alone while you go into the bushes or lakes to wash yourself, he will be confused.

If you don't want anyone taking your robes and clothes away, let alone touch them, he will be confused.

If you insist on wearing everything you got under the scorching summer sun, he will be confused.

Nevertheless, Thorfinn will always respect your wishes.

This inkling he has in the back of his mind of knowing who you are will also grow with instances like the ones mentioned above.

To anyone else he might blur out how stupid your choices are. If you don't undress and let someone look at that wound, you'll never heal! And not taking any clothes off during summer will leave you unconscious!

But...you aren't anyone. He seems to be aware of what's going and never says anything even as the other bandmates do (Askeladd doesn't either).

It all comes crashing down once he sees it himself for the first time and nothing can be denied then.

You most likely believed yourself to be alone and let your guard down. Foolish that you were, you should have expected Thorfinn to come look for you because of course would he come and check up on you. After all that you have been through and the bond you have established, he cannot just be dismissive nor indifferent towards you.

His intentions were innocent. All he wanted to do was to check up on you since you were absent for a long while but it seemed that the young man did more harm than good.

Quickly you covered yourself. With an panicked expression you wished to hide away but knew that you couldn't, not from Thorfinn. The man in question caught his breath and let it out in a long and calm sigh.

He needed to calm himself. This subconcious suspicion he had was now confirmed true and a part of him did not want that to happen solely because it meant you are now...far more endangered than he believed it to be.

The first thing he does is avoid his gaze and apologize. He did not mean to scare you and definitely not make you believe that you now have to be frightened. But he will ask about the wound you have and how long you have endured it.

Thorfinn will understand your hesitation, even your fear and anxiety if you have it, but you have to understand that your well-being comes first and that he just can't leave and pretend that he saw nothing - especially since you are obviously not able to tend the wound on your own.

Never will he force you but he is definitely waiting for you to make the right decision and that is letting him help. You aren't an idiot, are you just going to let yourself die like this?

He will be fine with any compromise for this situation, he is just glad that you let him help. The blonde will be quiet and gentle as he tends to your injury, not sparing a single glance at anything else. After he is finished, his back will be turned to you and he will have to be honest: Thorfinn cannot just pretend like nothing happened.

If you beg for him to not tell anyone, he will lowkey be offended. You really thing so lowly of him that he'd be up and at 'em, running to these bastards, to Askeladd, and tell them that his friend is a woman? You really think he doesn't care for you?

He might tell you so too (while keeping the bigger insults to himself) and that no matter what, he won't spill your secret. In fact, he swears an oath to keep you safe. He has done so up until now, hasn't he?

Right then and there he makes the oath. Might take an object familiar to the both of you and uses it to etch his honesty and willingness to protect you forever from anyone meaning you harm, into it. It could be another weapon, ring, or armor. (perhaps something akin to Heitstrenging)

It might tear you up but it shows his complete honesty and loyalty towards you.

After that, Thorfinn is much more aware of what he does and says. He won't change much not to raise any suspicion but he'll be more careful and gentle. Like mentioned above, he will also be much clingier which can be a blessing and an annoying curse at the same time.

Whenever you could need assitance he will ask first. If you refuse, he stays away but put and on an lookout for anyone else,

If you comply, he will do as you say and avoid his gaze whenever possible. The last thing you need is believe you cannot be safe around him.

It's one of the many things he wants you to have.

#request #vinland saga #thorfinn karlsefni #thorfinn imagine #thorfinn x reader #vinland saga thorfinn #fem!reader #thorfinn x you

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