#General Zedrao
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Essential Avengers: Avengers #260: Assault on Sanctuary II
October, 1985
ASSAULT ON SANCTUARY! Featuring the stunning secret of NEBULA!
Is her stunning secret that she’s a face floating in space?
That reminds me of another space face. He used to own a spaceship... Thanos, that's it!
Yeah, being a space face is pretty popular. You don’t need to keep it a secret, Nebula. People will understand.
Anyway, Secret Wars II.
It just feels like recently that I was killing myself trying to summarize Secret Wars I. And West Coast Avengers is starting up this same month and doing a crossover with the new Vision and Scarlet Witch limited series.
I can’t do it. I can’t cover Secret Wars II. Its just too much happening right at this moment in comics. I have to cut corners somewhere and somewhere is Secret Wars II.
I’ll explain what needs to be explained as it becomes relevant and hope that's not too often.
The intention was good, the execution was evil.
Much like the Beyonder himself, ZING.
Anyway. Avengers.
Last time on Avengers: Vision sent Captain Marvel out to check on Sanctuary II so she wouldn’t get in the way of his world takeover plan but its fine because the Avengers managed to talk him out of it. Except the very same time Monica is checking the Sanctuary II, some mercenaries working for Nebula come to steal the ship and steal Monica too. Through shenanigans, Monica ended up teaming up with a Skrull armada and trying to stop Nebula from inserting herself in the massive ongoing Skrull civil war that resulted from Galactus eating their homeworld and the entire ruling class.
Funny thing I just remembered, the Skrull queen actually survived that. But she just sat back and let the empire collapse into infighting rather than do anything. Ah, retcons.
Anyway, the Avengers come looking for Monica and decide to help General Zedrao stop Nebula. Even though neither Skrulls nor Avengers like each other. Nebula sure brings people together.
Another fun trivia, General Zerao is maybe the least asshole Skrull. He’s the Skrull who came to Captain Mar-Vell’s death bed and presented him the Skrull Royal Medal of Valor because dammit they were enemies but he respected him.
Its a shame he doesn’t get much use outside of the Death of Captain Marvel GN and this arc.
The issue starts in earnest with Firelord ditching the Avengers because he refuses to team up with the Skrulls.
Firelord: “No longer will I aid Earth’s Avengers! What they asked of me was unspeakable!”
Dude, you’re the one who insisted on tagging along in the first place.
Cap(tain America) even points out that fate gives you strange allies, pointing out that Firelord once worked as Galactus’ herald, a guy defined by serving up entire populations to the slaughter.
Firelord: “I served Galactus because I had sworn to do so! I’ll swear no such oath to help a Skrull!”
Granted, he has a reason to distrust the Skrull military. They’ve ravaged thousands of worlds and kept trying to conquer Firelord’s home planet of Xandar.
Huh, Xandar! That’s where the Nova Corp is from, right?
I wonder how they’re doing lately.
So about the same as usual, huh?
I looked up Xandar on Marvel wiki and almost its entire page is various times it got destroyed. And when I read Annihilation I thought the Nova Corp getting wiped out was unprecedented but nope this happens to them all the time.
You see how Xandar is a goofy bunch of domes connected by tubes?
That’s because of a previous time they were destroyed!
Zorr the Conqueror almost completely destroyed the planet but Uatu the Watcher saved it. Despite Xandar not only not being the planet he’s assigned to but in a completely different galaxy. He’s the worst at not interfering.
He also helped them make the domed tubed thing out of chunks of the planet.
Anyway, Nebula destroyed Xandar this time because it was in the way. Its not like space is mostly empty and she could have gone around, geez.
And as a last thought on this matter: Queen Adora looks like a She-Ra character, even putting aside that her name is Adora.
Anyway, back over at the Skrull armada, featuring General Zedrao.
Thanks to sci-fi sensors, the aramda has found “Nebula’s ship” although Starfox interjects that its not her ship dammit, she stole it!
Buddy, possession is 9/10s of the law and I don’t think Thanos’ possessions fall under probate.
To his crew’s alarm, General Zedrao is going to take the Avengers’ suggestion and give Nebula a chance to surrender.
But as he says, a full battle between the Skrull armada and Nebula’s mercenary army could mean a lot of lost Skrull lives. Not that he expects her to surrender but you gotta try.
Geez, Zedrao really is the best Skrull! I can’t believe he just disappears after this arc!
Where was he during Empyre?
Although if I’m honest. He likely died by the time of the Annihilation Wave. Either in the civil warring among the disintegrating Skrull empire or when Annihilus rolled over what remained of the Skrull empire.
Alas.
Meanwhile, over at the Sanctuary II and the motley armada that Nebula has assembled, Skunge the Troll is manning the sci-fi sensors to make sure the “prune-skinned pervos” don’t sneak up on them.
What he gets instead is a small capsule.
Over in the Sanctuary II, Nebula is sifting through the data in the computer systems marveling at Thanos’ wicked genius and hoping to finally grow to know him better.
She’s interrupted by Levan and Skung regarding that small capsule which pops open by itself to display a recorded message from General Zedrao and Captain Marvel calling for Nebula’s surrender.
A request she’s not keen on.
Nebula launches her fleet but the Skrull armada was ready for her not to surrender. The armada and Starfox’s dad’s ship come out of subspace and immediately start attacking Nebula’s ships.
And the Avengers are helping too.
Wasp: “Never thought I’d wind up as a tail-gunner on a Skrull saucer, but least with these blasters -- I can get better results than I could with my Wasp’s sting!”
As she blows up some enemy ships.
So add that to the grand do superheroes kill argument. In war, the Wasp certainly will.
Hercules drops out of one of the Skrull saucers onto one of the enemy ships and starts to tear it apart.
Hercules: “Now shall the son of Zeus test these mercenaries’ mettle... aye, and their metal, as well!”
Har har.
Hercules is also another in the long proud tradition of superpowered characters who go out into space with just their normal clothes and a glass bowl over their heads.
While the Skrull armada and Starfox’s dad’s ship and the Avengers keep Nebula’s forces busy, Captain Marvel goes to do her job of cutting through Sanctuary II’s defense.
Except she bounces right off the shields.
She figures that the defenses were on stand-by back in issue #255 and so easier to slip through. She’ll just try harder then.
In the same battle, Black Knight is scooting around on his atomic steed.
I can’t believe that he brought it with him on the Quinjet and then on Starfox’s dad’s ship but I’m glad he did.
This is what I expect from someone with a knight aesthetic. Leaning into the aesthetic against all reason.
Even though he could easily man some guns like Wasp, he’s flying around on a mechanical steed he found in the backroom and decided to restore and then brought to space with him. He’s flying around with it hitting things with his super cursed super sharp sword.
Dane, you nerd.
Also, apparently his armor IS AIRTIGHT ENOUGH TO FUNCTION AS A SPACESUIT because all he has is the glass bowl over his head!
Absurd.
On the topic of superheroes killing, Black Knight slices open the belly of a ship like its an AT-AT and he’s Luke and the rupture sucks dozens of the crew out into space.
They’re said to be wearing spacesuits but still.
Did Dane know that ahead of time? Probably not.
War situation.
The battle is going pretty okay for the Skrulls+Avengers but theres still hundreds of Nebula’s ships left and the armada is suffering heavy damage.
And the battle won’t truly end until the Sanctuary II is captured.
There’s some good and bad news on that front.
Bad news, at peak power Captain Marvel can’t easily get through the shields and Nebula is keeping them at peak power because she’s aware now how powerful Monica is.
Good news, Sanctuary II’s heavy offensive weapons can’t be used when the shields are up.
Further news, Firelord has just rageunquit the plot and came screaming back into relevance, blasting the shields with the power cosmic of a small star.
At risk of the shields failing under that, Levan orders for the small hot spot that is Firelord to be hit with all the “trans-shield power” that can be spared.
Which apparently makes the energy shields into reactive energy shields. The shield blasts back at Firelord, sending him into a nearby moon.
Moons always manage to be there to catch you when you’re sent hurtling through space.
Hercules joins Black Knight on his Scooty Puff Jr Atomic Steed and they discuss how Firelord entered and then exited the battle in a big hurry. Hercules concludes that dude can take care of himself.
Back over in the approximate location where the Sanctuary II is, Captain Marvel has turned into a MASSIVE electromagnetic storm miles in diameter to attack the entire shield at once.
If you’ve ever wondered how powerful Captain Monica Marvel is, the answer is very.
And also yes.
She manages to overload the defense shields by basically brute forcing them and the shields blow in a massive burst of energy.
Even given how very and yes powerful Monica is, she has to take a breather after that and speculates that the feat used up a few pounds of mass.
Uh. Since she turns into energy and I guess expended some energy?
Eesh, I didn’t know that her powers had that kind of drawback. But its still pretty impressive considering what a few pounds of meat mass equates to in terms of pyrotechnics.
They are in no way equal amounts of energy!
Monica pops over to the Skrull saucer Wasp is in to inform her about the shields down/needing a breather thing and Wasp spreads it to the rest of the armada on a hilarious giant headset.
2021 is laughing at your advanced technology, Skrulls of 1985.
Anyway, Monica taking down the shields also blew out all the main guns on the Sanctuary II. Again: very impressive. So Levan and some mooks are trying to get the auxillary blasters set up when the wall blows in and...
Holy shit is that Thanos?
Teaming up with the Avengers?
Usually to get such an unlikely team-up, you’d need to read Infinity Gauntlet but only the last bit.
Anyway, no, of course not.
Why the hell would Thanos suddenly show up in this book without any setup and then join the Avengers?
But if for a second you forgot that there were hundreds of Skrulls in this book, you might have fallen for it.
Also, why would Hercules use a sci-fi gun instead of just punching things? This isn’t the era where he uses a big gun! You had me going for a second, this comic, but I’m too wily and too have read the next couple pages for you!
Anyway, some of the mooks surrender and “Thanos” is going to do them a die anyway but Captain America talks him down saying that the Avengers promised mercy to all who surrendered. When “Thanos” says he’s not an Avenger, Cap switches gears to ‘yeah but these men aren’t worth the effort how about that?’
And “Thanos” relents.
Relents and drops the disguise. He and the rest of the non-Cap “Avengers.”
They were alllllll Skrulls. Using shapeshifting for psychological warfare. Because if you have a Skrull story and don’t use their shapeshifting at least once, are you telling a Skrull story?
That’s a question to hold onto, for reasons.
Meanwhile, over on that moon Firelord crashed into, the Beyonder.
Yes, the Beyonder.
The one from Secret Wars. The god-like being who was an entire universe who visited the Marvel universe to make the action fighters bonk off of each other. And then had his power stolen by Doom. But got it back and vanished.
Because this is part of Secret Wars II, Beyonder Boogaloo.
The short synopsis of which is that the Beyonder comes to Earth and just hangs around, learning different life lessons and interacting with different parts of the Marvel universe.
For some reason, he’s looking for the Avengers right now. And Firelord tells him that they’re over trying to capture Nebula’s ship.
(Faint sound of offended Starfox in the distance, I imagine)
The Beyonder asks if capturing the ship is important and Firelord says whats important is taking care of Nebula.
Firelord: “Were it... in my power... I would hurl her from this very galaxy!”
And then he passes out.
The thing about the Beyonder, and what makes Secret Wars II have a faint shimmer of a good idea at its core, is that the Beyonder has basically zero life experience aside from Secret Wars I and whatever he’s managed to absorb in the Secret Wars II issues and tie-ins up until this point. Which may or may not include how to poop.
Like the cave under that tree in Dabogah, all you get out of the Beyonder is what you put in.
So the Beyonder takes what Firelord says extremely literally.
Beyonder: “If the Avengers are so involved in eliminating this ‘Nebula’ person, perhaps I can help. From what I’ve observed of such humans -- they seem to effect a special form of garb for their battles. I suppose if I’m going to assist them, I should do the same.”
Oh my god.
That is.
A look.
He looks like if Stryfe realized spikes were a workplace hazard but still wanted massive shoulders.
Samus Aran would blush.
Anyway, aboard the Sanctuary II, the Avengers and Skrulls beat up just hordes of mooks. Dozens. Scores. Maybe even a gross.
Hercules even gets to do that classic thing where he punches one guy and knocks down a column of guys because they were standing in line.
Nebula decides that when you reach the point where a bunch of superheroes are punching people aboard your ship, you should get out while the getting out is good.
She has a keen understanding that her troops are the mookiest mooks to ever goon. They’re just fodder to make the superheroes look cool as they plow through them. Once her ship was boarded, its abandon ship time.
So she gets the big not-Ben Grimm orange guy Kehl to help her load some essential canisters aboard an escape ship but he suddenly starts laughing at nothing in particular.
Gasp!
The calling card of Starfox!
The man himself swoops down and disarms Nebula and then claims the ship, the whole entire ship.
Starfox: “You’re finished Nebula! I claim Sanctuary II by right of blood... it was built by my brother!”
Yeah but he was a criminal who did all kinds of war crimes. What the hell is space law like that you can just go ‘my weapon of mass destruction now!’
And if you could, why did you leave it adrift for so long? That’s just asking for squatters.
But Nebula has a perfect counter to Starfox’s ridiculous claim.
Nebula: “Imbecile! I have as much right to this ship as you! It was built by my grandfather!”
DUN DUN DUN!
Or a soap opera sting. You know the one.
Starfox is left stunned by this sudden claim of kinship and is even more stunned when Gunthar mindcrushes Starfox.
Nebula calls Starfox an uncle but. He’d be a great uncle, right?
Anyway, before Nebula can get Kehl to finish off Starfox, the Beyonder shows up.
And Nebula’s response kills me.
She’s had a very aggravating, confusing day.
When Gunthar says Nebula’s name, the Beyonder is like ah cool and blasts her whole group. And the canisters. And the escape ship.
Starfox: “Who the *#%$ are you? And what have you done with Nebula?!?”
Wow, I thinks this is the most non-composed we’ve ever seen this space dude.
Beyonder: “I am from Beyond! As for Nebula and the others... why, they’ve been removed from this galaxy! Isn’t that what you wanted?”
Starfox: “NO!! Are you insane?!?”
Beyonder: “I don’t believe so... but I am confused. The flaming man said -- !”
Starfox: “Flaming... Firelord? Did he put you up to this? Of all the -- I don’t know which one of you is the bigger idiot!”
Hahahahah!
Secret Wars II may be a mess. May be. I certainly don’t have the energy to try to read the whole thing any time soon. But something like this is great.
The Beyonder is like ‘Beyonder do good?’ and Starfox is like ‘NO, NO YOU DID NOT.’
Priceless.
Like I said. All you get out of him is what you put in. Firelord said he wanted to hurl her from the galaxy so the Beyonder went and did that for him.
Does it matter that he helped Nebula escape when the Avengers were about to show up and capture her?
Look, he was given a simple directive and he did that.
Beyonder: “I came here to help. I thought you wanted to be rid of Nebula!”
Captain Marvel: “We wanted to capture her! We wanted to make her pay for what she’s done! For someone who came to help, you’ve sure made a mess of things!”
Beyonder: “I - I didn’t know. There are so many people... so many ways of speaking... so much to decode before there can be understanding. It is clear that I must experience much more before I can totally understand.”
Then the Beyonder teleports away.
That’s probably fine. How much trouble can he get into? Like. On a scale of breaking mom’s fine china to destroying the universe.
-looks ahead- Really? On the destroying the universe side of the scale? Welp.
Notably, nobody present has any idea that was the Beyonder.
Cap(tain America) begins to wonder after being told the guy said he was from beyond. But when the Beyonder showed up in Secret Wars II #1, he took on a form that was a composite of people that were in Secret Wars 1.
Also, that thing about an airline wanting money from Cap? That was from an event that happened in Secret Wars II #1. He used his Avengers priority card to divert a plane from England to LA.
Anyway, Starfox is more concerned with Nebula and whether her claim to be Thanos’ granddaughter is true.
Because that would change... something? Would he stop trying to bring her to justice? Explain yourself, Starfox!
Hopefully he will in Avengers Annual #14 because this is one of those story arcs that continues into an annual. But hopefully not two of them like the Celestial Madonna Saga.
Follow @essential-avengers because you want to know the truth about Nebula and think that she’ll be in the annual. She doesn’t. Like and reblog because you respect my honesty.
#avengers#essential avengers#Nebula#and her crafty crew#the Wasp#Captain America#Captain Marvel#Monica Rambeau#Black Knight#Hercules#Firelord#Starfox#a bunch of Skrulls#General Zedrao#the coolest Skrull who isn't super#essential marvel liveblogging#the Beyonder#Secret Wars II#sigh
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This is a really oddly touching scene, a high ranking Skrull general comes to Mar-Vell’s deathbed to present him with a Skrull medal of valor for having been their greatest foe they have ever had to face. I didn’t realize that the Skrulls had any kind of honor like that. Also, Rick Jones is a very interesting character throughout this whole book. He is supposed to be our everyman who is witnessing the death of one of their closest friends to a horrible disease, and just can’t accept it, but sadly he never seems to make it past the ager stange in the Kübler-Ross greif cycle and as such he can get a little grating at times...
#Marvel#Marvel Graphic Novel#Death of Captain Marvel#Rick Jones#General Zedrao#Ben Grimm ~ Thing#Hercules#Heather Douglas ~ Moondragon#Mar Vell ~ Captain Marvel#Arthur Douglas ~ Drax the Destroyer
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General Zedrao gives Captain Marvel the Royal Skrull Medal of Valor! Pardon me one second, I have something in my eye.… #marvel #graphicnovel #captainmarvel #deathofcaptainmarvel https://ift.tt/2HZqi2g
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Earth and Beyond!
The Avengers #261
Very strong in several different ways.
This arc has redefined the Skrulls in a big way, and given them a new complexity. This is demonstrated again here with the General Zedrao character. Who, sadly, we never see again.
Starfox takes his leave of the team here. His reason for leaving make a lot of sense, but it’s a shame. For the next few years he will be making sporadic guest appearances in different titles.
Back on Earth, the remaining Avengers find a practical way of finding the Beyonder. Always great to see MARVEL characters going about things in real-world way. Plus, it’s always cool to see Project Pegasus pop up.
Finally, the Beyond appears and the ‘battle’ with the Avengers that follows is one of the best appearances he’s had. The character consistently improves the quality of each title he appears in, and (except for the FANTASTIC FOUR appearance) there’s a remarkably consistent development arc for the character. The growth here is particularly exciting.
Roger Stern (37 of 61).
10/10
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Essential Avengers: Avengers #259: DUTY OVER ALL!
September, 1985
On the side of... THE SKRULLS!
That cover text is accurate but its more like ‘on the side of some Skrulls against other Skrulls and also Nebula is a jerk.’
I do like that power squat from that boss looking Skrull though.
Is it the most comfortable thing to do? No. Will he topple over immediately if there’s any space turbulence? Definitely. But is it presenting a powerful statement to the Avengers? Also definitely.
Hm. The Gruenwald Squadron Supreme series starts this month of September, 1985. In another world, maybe I’m a Squadron Supreme liveblogger. I’d be done by this point if I were.
Anyway.
Last times on Avengers: when Vision tried to take over the world, he got Captain Marvel out of the way by sending her to check on Thanos’ abandoned ship, Sanctuary II. A harmless errand that would take her several hours and keep her out of communication in transit.
Obviously, the one day Captain Marvel is sent on a wild goose chase to Sanctuary II is when some mercenaries working for Nebula come to retrieve the ship for her and Monica Marvel winds up kidnapped to another galaxy and forced to pretend she wants to work for Nebula.
Nebula sends her on a suicide mission to reconnoiter a Skrull space base and to make sure its a suicide mission, Nebula shoots an anti-matter torpedo at the base while Monica is in it. Rude.
This time on Avengers:
I guess Monica is completely, really dead forever.
Except Nebula isn’t some fool who goes ‘we never found the bodies so they’re totally dead forever.’ This character who I’ve only just met in context of the Avengers but know from the movies is a smart cookie.
One anti-matter torpedo wasn’t enough to totally obliterate the armada here so some of them probably escaped.
Levan suggested that maybe Captain Marvel escaped too and Nebula tells him ‘if your horniness gets in my way so help me i’ll do you a murder you sad sack’ with a little ‘but what have you done for me lately’ by asking him if he’s of further use to her now that he and Gunthar have helped retrieve Sanctuary II as former Thanos minions.
Levan: “Nebula, let me assure you that you have all my support... my undying support... in this galaxy or any other!”
Gunthar: “I concur, Commander. Only a fool would do otherwise.”
Nebula: “Indeed.”
And then since there’s no kill like overkill, Nebula decides to blow up the planetoid so if there were any survivors that managed to flee, they have nothing to return to.
Yeah, Sanctuary II can blow up planetoids.
All it needs to do is carve a tunnel from the surface to the core with a big ol’ coherent energy beam, drop another anti-matter torpedo, and BAM no more Skrull base.
Its hard to tell how much time passes in comic panels but I’d estimate that took less than five minutes.
Eat shit, Freeza.
While asking for trouble from dragon ball fans is all well and good, over on Earth and one week later, Firelord has trouble of his own.
Firelord: “To think that my cosmic flame would be put to so mundane a task -- as waste disposal!”
When Hercules castigated Firelord for tantruming around, he castigated him all the way into community service.
Damn, I already thought Hercules was awesome, Marvel. You spoil me.
Burning toxic waste isn’t an easy fix because then you just get noxious fumes and noxious byproducts but Firelord’s fire is from the power cosmic so he burned it hot enough to break down any noxious substances.
All that’s left is some slag that Hercules crushes into a ball to dispose of.
A very impressed guy: “Mr. Firelord, that was utterly fantastic! Why, you’ve saved the state millions of dollars in toxic waste clean-up!”
Hercules: “You see, Firelord? You are well on your way -- to making restitution for all the damages you caused in the city! Just a few more such tasks, and your debt shall be repaid in full! In the future, you must take more care in your behavior amongst mortals! I know ‘tis not easy. Why, in my youth, I myself was known to act a bit rashly on occasion!”
To repeat myself, Hercules rocks.
Also, I’m just going to assume that something like this happens off-panel every time heroes cause property damage. Either Tony Stark sighs and pays it off or heroes work off the damages using their powers.
Meanwhile, over at Avengers Mansion, Captain America finds She-Hulk and Wyatt Wingfoot leaving to go on a double date with the Mr. and Mrs. Fantastic.
Apparently the Fantastic Four moved into Avengers Mansion because the Baxter Building was destroyed in Fantastic Four #279 byyy -wiki- Kristoff Vernard launching it into space and blowing it up. Rude kid.
Nice of the Avengers to put them up. Although, they do have plenty of room.
In a funny bit, Wyatt Wingfoot eyes Cap, figures him to be roughly the same size as himself, and wonders where he buys shirts.
Inside the mansion, Cap gets his mail from Jarvis which includes “the usual requests for autographs, some charity solicitations, and a half-dozen pleas for you to endorse certain political parties.”
Cap is a popular guy.
He also receives a bill for some airfare he charged to his Avengers’ card because the airline became aware that the government is reconsidering the Avengers’ privileges and they’d rather the money now before it gets tied up in that whole thing.
Cap also asks Jarvis about Captain Marvel since she’s been missing two weeks now. There’s no news and its not good news because the Sanctuary II that she was checking on has gone missing too.
Captain Steve America heads to find Wasp and finds that in her spare time, she’s been making Black Knight cooler.
ATOMIC STEED.
What a deep cut. I can’t believe Beast just shoved that into storage and forgot about it.
Black Knight could go and ask for his horse back from Valkyrie but she needs the iconography more than he does. Plus, an atomic steed requires less shoveling.
Now, an atomic steed is all well and good because Black Knight has that sort of mix between super advanced technology and weirdo throwback traditions and magic.
I just don’t know if I’ll be as into it when he trades his super cursed sword for a lightsaber and stops shaving. Sure, he’ll be wearing a jacket over armor and that’s good fun but part of Black Knight’s charm, like Hawkeye, is kicking people’s butts with medieval weaponry.
Its apparently also what made Hawkman and Hawkgirl so popular when they were first introduced. That they’d just grab random weapons off a museum wall and go hit people with them.
Unfortunately, Black Knight can’t just tool around on an atomic steed all day.
The message Monica was trying to send from the Skrull base finally gets through the jamming delay and sets off a priority alarm. Or Starfox does when he gets the message. Six of one...
Captain Monica barely manages any message beyond telling the Avengers the Sanctuary II was stolen by alien mercenaries and that she’s at a Skrull base in the Andromeda Galaxy when an anti-matter torpedo rudely cuts off the message.
Wasp: “Starfox, do you have enough to locate that carrier wave’s point of origin?”
Starfox: “Yes... does this mean what I hope it does?”
Wasp: “I should say so! There’s an Avenger to be accounted for!”
Captain America: “One way or another we’re going to find her!”
Yeah! Bring back Captain Marvel!
She’s needed on the set of Marvels!
Anyway.
The Avengers take their special space capable Quinjet out into space with special guest Firelord because even though he’s paid off all the damages, he wants to pay back Hercules by helping him out on this adventure. Pluuuus, the Andromeda Galaxy is where Firelord is from and he hasn’t seen his home since he became a herald.
I can’t believe Firelord is asking the Avengers to swing by on their way back.
I assume. Galaxies are big. What are the odds they’ll just happen to pass by his homeworld?
The special space capable Avengers Quinjet may be able to go out into space but that doesn’t mean it can go to another galaxy. In a timely fashion anyway.
But it really just needs to get them to their actual intergalactic ride.
Starfox: “Behold... the swiftest starship produced by the science of my homeworld of Titan -- sent Earthward by my doting father Mentor.”
Wonder how that conversation went, considering Mentor’s annoyance when Starfox borrowed the computer to look for the best places to hang out.
I sincerely doubt that doting.
“Meanwhile, on one of the many Skrull colony worlds in the Andromeda Galaxy...”
Governor Gorth!
He’s the Skrull governor of planet A Skrull Colony World.
Name your locations if its going to be important, geez.
Anyway, Governor Gorth is informed that Commander Nebula is here to see him so Gorth gets his business face on. And his business bod.
Because Skrulls are shapeshifters he can just shapeshift himself to look more imposing and buff.
Which probably makes a super mushroom noise.
Nebula isn’t impressed by his buff bod or buff attitude. When he insists that she call him Emperor Gorth, she has Levan shoot the buff out of his sails.
Gorth: “See here, you promised to make me emperor! It’s only fair that I look imperial!”
Nebula: “Save the shape-shifting for your underlings, Skrull -- it doesn’t impress me! You’re nothing without my backing!”
Gorth: “A-all right! It’s true!”
Skrulls tend to get more consistently drawn with human proportions these days. Which is weird scrawny bobblehead goblin Skrull erasure maybe. I dunno. They just used to look more alien, in a way.
Although, the way comics be, its very likely that they were leaning into racist imagery. I know the shapeshifting reptilian alien thing does.
Anyway, now that Nebula has shown her employer who is boss, she takes him out onto the balcony to show him the Sanctuary II, a weapon to surpass Metal Gear that will make this backwater colony world the new Skrull throneworld.
Hundreds of parsecs away, which are after all a unit of distance and not time, the ship Starfox borrowed from daddy arrives through subspace to the system where that Skrull base was.
Black Knight: “I still can hardly believe this... until now, I’d thought of sub-space as nothing more than an abstract concept!”
Starfox: “I’d always considered it a convenient intergalactic shortcut, myself!”
Starfox: ‘oh you and your primitive earth science’
They don’t find the base (because Nebula blew it up) but they do find an angry Skrull armada that demands they shut down their engines and surrender.
Starfox gets nettled by this suggestion and wants to tell the Skrulls where they can stick it but Cap(tain America) suggests that they play along since its apparently rare for Skrulls to make requests without shooting first.
Really?
Huh. Not great, the Skrulls.
Starfox space radios that he’ll comply and Captain Marvel pops out of the space radio, jubilant that they got her message.
Out-of-touch Black Knight strikes again, this time with the thought “They sure make Captains a darned sight prettier than they used to!”
Wait, I don’t even know if he knew Captain Marvel. Oh well.
Monica tells them that she has a lot to tell them but it’d be better to hear it from the Skrulls, over in the armada.
So Starfox’s dad’s ship docks with the Skrull command saucer and Captain Monica Marvel takes the Avengers and their plus one Firelord to meet General Zedrao, leader of the Skrull armada.
His officers are uneasy about this because: 1) Avengers on board, 2) a former herald of Galactus!
But he tells them to hush.
General Zedrao: “Your presence has caused great controversy among my staff, Avengers. They wanted me to destroy your ship outright... and they had good reason. You and all who ally themselves with you have been branded enemies of the Skrull Empire. But we must now put old animosities aside... a great threat looms before us!”
Assuming correctly that the Avengers aren’t up to date on space politics, General Zedrao decides to summarize the whole situation to them.
Very kind of him.
So, the problems all started when Galactus at the Skrull homeworld several months ago.
With the head basically chopped off the empire, the whole thing descends into chaos and rebellion. Apparently every single planetary governor stood up and declared themselves the obvious new leader and raised armies to attack any other fool who said the same thing.
General Zedrao: “The weaker worlds fell immediately. Alliances were forged and broken on an hourly basis. In a few days, more Skrulls died at Skrull hands than had perished in the death-throes of Throneworld.”
I’d say this goes to show that a clear line of succession is necessary but having the entire capital of the empire get destroyed in one day is kind of an unprecedented situation.
Rome wouldn’t have fared well if Rome blew up. Not that Rome had a clear line of succession a lot of the time either.
Funny thing is that there actually is a Skrull princess who survived the disaster. But its Veranke and she’s both stupid and a religious zealot and nobody was gonna come running to her as their first choice.
She had some wild ideas about Earth being the promised new homeworld of the Skrulls and her tilting at windmills wiped out a significant fraction of the very little power the Skrulls had left after the Galactus incident and several other disasters.
So, yeah, Veranke doesn’t exist yet and even if she did nobody would rally behind her until things got desperate.
Anyway, during this chaos, a mercenary army made of outcasts from a thousand worlds was organized by Nebula.
Her army conquered every world it set its sights on uuuuuntil it ran into Zedrao’s base.
Zedrao is a pretty cool dude, actually. Even though he has a whole ass armada and an impregnable base, he refused to participate in all of this civil warring. He just holed up in his base, presumably to wait until it blew over and there was a new government.
Try as she might, Nebula couldn’t best the base’s defenses and left, presumably shaking her fist and saying NEXT TIME GADGET NEXT TIIIIME.
But she did come back to throw Monica to her death against the base but whooops Monica broke a hole in the defenses and fried most of the armada’s communications gear and overall just made a mess.
Which was when Nebula lobbed an anti-matter torpedo at the base.
When the torpedo was spotted, the Skrulls tried to evacuate but there Just Wasn’t Enough Time.
So Captain Marvel flew out into space, turned human so she could go pew pew with her energy blasts to redirect the torpedo into one of the orbital generators, and managed to turn back to light in time to nyoom from the explosion.
Afterward, she and General Zedrao talked and decided the best thing to do was to sacrifice the base to convince Nebula the attack worked.
Even though it hadn’t hit on target, the matter/anti-matter explosion still released a bunch of radiation which damaged the armada and it wouldn’t have been a good idea to tangle with the Sanctuary II.
So the armada blew up its own base and then escaped into sub-space.
Its been regrouping and repairing over the week it took the Avengers to get Monica’s message and now its in fighting shape again.
And thaaaaats the story.
Firelord is the first to react, saying that ain’t no way he joining forces with “vermin” like the Skrulls. And also saying that Monica Marvel must be addled by her week among them to suggest it.
Hercules: “Choose your words with care when you speak to an Avenger, Firelord!”
Hercules didn’t ask to be this guy’s babysitter but that’s how things shook out.
Monica agrees that that Skrulls might be unappealing (right in the same room with a bunch of Skrulls, wow rude) but that Nebula must be stopped.
Which Starfox with goofy face agrees because Nebula has the Sanctuary II which Thanos built to rival an entire armada.
Where was he getting his resources? Oh. Right. Pillaging.
But Black Knight tries to ask the real question here.
Black Knight: “Excuse me, but there’s an important question that needs to be answered! Should we really get involved in this? After all, we’re supposed to be the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes... we can’t start policing the whole blasted universe!”
I mean, he’s got a point.
Interfering in space politics is a thorny prospect.
Although nobody here knows about the Illuminati because it hasn’t been written yet, the Illuminati going up to space and trying to intimidate the Skrulls into not attacking again really bit Earth in the ass several several years down the line.
But if the Avengers interfere in this Skrull civil war, are they going to get involved in every big space political mess?
Yes. Yes they will. Or the X-Men. Or the Guardians of the Galaxy, generally featuring several people from Earth or derived from people from Earth.
So this is very much a bad precedent.
On the other hand as Captain Marvel suggests, Nebula is likely to come after the Milky Way after she conquers Andromeda. Zedrao even points out that a big chunk of her mercenary army are from planets in the Milky Way so Nebula is going to look that way sooner or later.
Black Knight: “The old domino theory... if we don’t stop the first one from falling, they all will, huh?”
Captain America: “That’s not always true, Dane, but this time it may be!”
Hahah, I mean. That’s how that line of thought gets you.
It’s funny that Dane, who has been missing for several years, still manages to be disdainful of domino theory.
Anyway, Cap points out that ultimately, its Wasp’s decision since she is the chairwoman.
And she decides that yes, they need to stop Nebula.
Meanwhile, over on the Sanctuary II, Nebula is giving Governor Emperor-Aspirant Gorth the grand tour.
But the grand tour is interrupted by Levan calling on the tv phone to tell Nebula that deep probes have detected the Skrull armada.
In a surprisingly governor-like move, Gorth insists that Nebula lure the armada away from Planet Untitled to spare it the ravages of war but Nebula still has no patience for Gorth acting like just because he’s her employer, he’s her boss and this time shoots him dead, not just deflated.
Nebula: “Prepare a propaganda statement, Levan, saying that Emperor Gorth died in battle with the enemy. Then have all stations made battle-ready! And make certain that everyone knows... we will take no prisoners!”
You are a mean one, Miss Nebula.
And you’re missing out on some shenanigans!
You’re above a planet of the Skrulls! Grab one that you can bully into line and have them pretend to be Gorth! Shapeshifting! Use it!
Follow @essential-avengers because I said pretty please. And like and reblog but only if you choose to.
#essential avengers#avengers#Nebula#a bunch of Skrulls#General Zedrao#Governor Gorth#the Wasp#Starfox#Hercules#Firelord#Captain Marvel#Monica Rambeau#Captain America#Black Knight#the Avengers get involved in a civil war IN SPACE#Firelord is a bad tagalong friend#Nebula is a hostile employee#essential marvel liveblogging
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Essential Avengers: Avengers Annual #14: FIFTH COLUMN
November, 1985
THE WAR TO END ALL SKRULLS!
Guest starring the Fantastic Four
The Avengers reluctantly helping the Skrulls in their massive civil war has gone sour and I guess now they’re going to kill all the Skrulls.
Not really where I thought the book was headed. Not really where I wanted the team to go. Buuuuuut uhhhh at least the Fantastic Four are helping wipe out the Skrulls?
So last time on Avengers: Vision sent Captain Marvel to check on Thanos’ Sanctuary II battleship to get her out of the way when he tried to take over the world. Long story brief, he did not in fact take over the world. But Captain Marvel got kidnapped by space pirates while in space and taken to another galaxy.
She was forced to join Nebula’s crew and attack a Skrull space base. She tried to use the Skrull’s space phone to call the Avengers and then Nebula blew up everything.
The Avengers and Firelord eventually headed into space to rescue Captain Marvel and joined up with a Skrull armada to stop Nebula’s plan to take over the fragmented Skrull empire chunks.
They manage to storm the Sanctuary II but before they can capture Nebula, the Beyonder teleports her out of the entire galaxy because Firelord suggested it and Beyonder wants to be a helpful boy.
So now, forty pages of the Avengers being in space having Skrull-adjacent adventures!
The continuing Avengers adventures in Skrull-adjacent topics starts with a group of Skrulls doing a jailbreak on the planet Klarr.
A space jail so formidable that no prisoner has ever escaped in 10,000 years.
But the whole empire is falling apart so keeping the streak going is maybe not a priority.
The designated demolitions expert of the trio gets shot during the break-in and then a second Skrull blows himself up trying to do the demolition Skrull’s job.
Attrition rate on this jailbreak is pretty high.
Third member of the trio, Raksor, is left alone to finish the job of breaking Prince Dezan out of super Klarr jail.
Prince Dezan is apparently the Skrull in the Iron Mask.
Kind of his captives to make a mask that perfectly hugs his chin.
Since there’s no current ruler for him to be a perfect twin of, we’re not doing the obvious riff.
Dezan wonders that any Skrull would bust him out of jail considering his CRIMES.
Whatever Dezan’s crimes (which we do learn by the end of the story), Raksor isn’t thrilled at having to turn to Dezan but desperate times and measures.
Meanwhile, over at the other half of the Andromeda Galaxy, the Avengers decompress from the recent battle of Nebula and talk about what a big ship Thanos’ big ship is.
Hercules asks what became of Firelord after he stormed off, stormed right back in, and then got exploded.
Actually cool General Zedrao explains that Firelord was blasted away by the Sanctuary II’s weapons and hit a moon but the Skrulls have rescued him and have put him in a tube of healing juice to heal him up.
Which General Zedrao is only doing because Firelord was standing near the Avengers when the Avengers and Skrulls formed an alliance. Despite Firelord being a hated herald of Galactus when Galactus eating the Skrull throneworld is what caused the empire to implode in a series of power grabs and vacuums.
That’s how civil the Skrulls can be, under General Zedrao. For his part, Firelord refused to work with the Skrulls at all and flew off in a huff. He only flew back in a huff because Nebula destroyed Xandar just cause.
Captain Marvel apologizes that Nebula got away but Starfox vows that he will bring Nebula to justice.
Wasp: “Starfox! Don’t make promises we can’t keep!”
Hah.
As Black Knight says, they have no idea where in the entire universe Nebula was sent. And at some point the Avengers have to go home. They’re Earth’s Mightiest Heroes so they have to spend a majority of their time actually on Earth. Union rules.
Starfox persists that surely there’s some way to track her down and General Zedrao actually has an idea along those lines.
General Zedrao: “A sensor grid of intergalactic range was housed on the old Imperial power asteroid. Perhaps it could be used to home in on the wild energies used to transport Nebula and her aides!”
Plus, General Zedrao could arrange safe passage to the asteroid.
Starfox insists that the Avengers check out this potential lead but Captain America goes ‘well jan you’re in charge’
Wasp: “Well... I guess it’s worth a try. After all, if we’ve come this far -- !”
So Starfox’s dad’s ship and a Skrull escort saucer take off towards the power asteroid. And while Starfox grumpily stares at the controls, still angry that he let Nebula get away just because she got him flatfooted by claiming to be Thanos’ granddaughter, Black Knight gushes about the power asteroid.
Because he was a pretty good physicist before he took up being man in armor hitting things with sword in the past times for a pastime. So based on the schematics he’s pretty sure that the power asteroid has a transdimensional energy siphon going on.
Which is neat.
Although it makes me wonder if people from other dimensions are ever going to show up mad that someone is siphoning all their power.
Back in the day, the power asteroid was used to charge high-energy capacitor crystals and to broadcast power to the Skrull Throneworld, before Galactus went and made a snack of it.
The pilot of the Skrull escort saucer pulls away to get ready to warp through subspace and Starfox asks what he’s doing.
And this is a random Skrull who is not happy to be on this assignment at all.
Random Skrull not happy to be on this assignment: @#%$@# Earthers! If I weren’t under orders, I’d lead you into a black hole! You might’ve helped the armada today, but I haven’t forgotten who your kind cost us a decisive victory over the Kree!
He’s lucky he thought that instead of saying it.
Not that the Avengers would get punchy for it. Well, Hercules might but the others would have gotten him to refrain.
But General Zedrao seems the sort to frown on that kind of unprofessionalism.
Also, get some context, my dude. The Avengers only got involved in the war because the Skrulls and the Kree decided to start shit on Earth.
The Skrulls themselves tried to get the Avengers arrested before the Avengers even knew there was a space war in space.
Stop poking the hornet nest, everyone in space.
Anyway, Starfox’s dad’s ship follows the Skrull saucer through subspace hyperdrive and arrive to quite a weird sight.
BIPLANES AND BLIMPS
IN SPAAAACE!
It turns out that Skrulls have their subcultures the same way that humans do. Although... I’m not sure what the closest comparison to this particular thing would be?
There’s a Skrull colony Kral who decided that they would LARP Earth America 1930s society 24/7. That would be The Thing that they base their entire culture on.
(Until a run of Black Panther where the subculture got a counter culture in a group of Skrulls that decided they’d rather LARP Earth America Civil Rights movement)
So basically you have a Gangster Planet of aliens pretending to be gangsters. Its very original series Star Trek, or my vague idea of Star Trek.
Since they all shapeshift humans all the time, the rest of the Skrull empire doesn’t really like them.
Random Skrull not happy to be on this assignment: “They tend to be a bit eccentric.”
Anyway, hence space biplanes and space zeppelins.
These Skrulls are super committed to the bit.
Except insofar as it pertains to not using advanced technology.
Despite being Earth LARPers, when they see the Avengers disembark from Starfox’s dad’s ship, they’re like ‘holy crap earthers, ice ‘em!’ and they try to ice ‘em.
Captain Marvel just zaps past them as electricity to make their guns too zappy to hold.
A Skrull cosplaying a gangster decides he doesn’t like “wise-mouth dames” and tries to sap her in the back of the head but Monica is cautious so she was standing around in her hologram form so the idiot falls right through her.
And then Wasp shoots him so hard his cosplay slips.
Y’know, these Kral Skrulls are some self-hating Skrulls.
Earlier, one of the space biplane pilots called the Skrull who was unhappy to be escorting the Avengers a frog-face, and boss of this casino blimp Floyd Donahue here tells the Skrull Wasp zapped that he looks stupid in green.
Not to mention that whole ‘stay in human form 24/7′ thing.
I guess that’s just a thing you can do when you’re a shapeshifter.
Anyway, Wasp is less than pleased with the welcoming committee and so is unhappy Skrull, formally known as Major Syrro, who grouses that this all could have been avoided if the Donahue’s men had just let him display his status code.
He further grouses that he’s on a mission to escort the Avengers to the power asteroid and this is all an annoying delay.
When Donahue hears that the Avengers helped beat Nebula, he decides that maybe he and the Avengers could help each other.
While Donahue goes to check on a special guest, the Avengers take in the casino blimp because it really is a space casino blimp.
Which Hercules is thrilled by.
Black Knight is amused that it looks like every gangster film he’s seen, making it more of an anachronism than himself. And Cap is like ‘yeah this reminds me of my childhood’ because he’s actually from the era of Earth America that the Skrulls are copying.
And Starfox is annoyed with the Avengers for not being 100% focused on the mission even though they’re having to sit on their thumbs for a second and there’s not really a point to being grim.
Oh, Starfox. You used to want to be the party guy.
Donahue lets the Avengers in to meet his special guest and its that masked Skrull from the opening bit, Prince Dezan.
Hi again, Prince Dezan.
Prince Dezan is the late Emperor Dorrek’s younger brother.
Major Syrro is aghast that Donahue is harboring a traitor to his own kind who he describes as the most dangerous Skrull in all the galaxy, sent to forever jail when his un-Skrull activities were uncovered.
Prince Dezan: “I won’t deny that much of what your escort says is true. But there is another Skrull at large who is far more dangerous than I. And he has in his grasp a weapon which could destroy all that remains of the empire!”
Well.
I’m not too attached to the Skrull empire as a political and military organization. I guess I don’t want huge swathes of the Skrull population to die. They’re going to be doing enough of that during the Annihilation War.
Prince Dezan Explains It All.
Back in his younger days, pre-forever jail and mask, he and two other Skrulls Zabyk and Myrn formed one of those disaffected youth groups talking all about how the old people just don’t understand and we’re going to fix all the problems with society, man.
Dezan and Zabyk had a falling out. And then Dezan got thrown in forever jail when his radical proclivities were discovered.
Zabyk fled to the fringes of the Skrull Empire and formed a new even more radical organization than three youths talking over drinks. And Myrn’s part in the drinking club for disaffected youth was never discovered and he became both disillusioned and one of the empire’s greatest scientists.
Myrn was put in charge of the power asteroid and unfortunately got a front row seat to Galactus eating the Skrull throneworld.
As one does, he went a little insane.
There was chaos after the Skrull capital vanished overnight and Zabyk’s group took advantage of that to seize the power asteroid and there discovered his ol’ pal Myrn, being a little insane.
Zabyk: “It’s only the old order that’s dead, Myrn. The empire will live on, but it will be an empire to my liking! Capturing this power station was just a start!”
Myrn: “No, Zabyk, this station is the key! My research here has yielded remarkable discoveries! I have begun to harness the energy of this complex into the creation of the ultimate weapon! My weapon could bring universal change... overnight! Yes!”
When a scientist that has gone a little insane due to watching the end of the world starts talking about an ultimate weapon, that’s usually a red flag. But Zabyk is intrigued.
Raksor (who is apparently an Established Skrull with prior appearances) from the prison break opening was also on the power asteroid and overheard this conversation.
He heard the Ultimate Weapon proposal and it shocked him enough that he resorted to freeing the traitorous Prince Dezan from forever jail.
Major Syrro complains that Raksor should have brought the news to the armada instead of breaking out Prince Dezan but Raksor couldn’t contact the armada because General Zedrao had sealed off the planetoid base to wait for the civil warring to blow over.
Huh. I guess not playing politics can have downsides.
Also, this sure is a lot of Skrulls talking to each other.
Where do the Avengers come in?
Here’s where the Avengers come in.
Raksor mentions that the power asteroid is fortified enough to hold off the armada. Makes sense. It supplied the power to the Skrull throneworld. You wouldn’t want it to be easy to subvert.
So the best solution is for a small commando force to gain entry into the power asteroid station.
‘Hey,’ says Starfox. ‘The Avengers are like a small commando force!’ and volunteers the Avengers for the mission.
Captain America: “Hold it, Starfox! We need a little planning before we rush into anything -- and there is a chain of command!”
Wasp: “Yes, I don’t recall appointing you group spokesman!”
Starfox apologizes but now that he’s been told to simmer down, Wasp and Cap admit that the idea has merit.
After all, they need to use the power asteroid too, to try to find Nebula, so why not deal with this if they’re going there anyway?
So an hour later, the Avengers transfer over from the Big Casino space blimp in a space biplane Spirit of Coolidge to the space power asteroid.
I dig that giant transmission dish.
That’s how you know its a classy power asteroid.
The Spirit of Coolidge identifies itself and says its here with a crate full of power stones that need to be charged.
Since Zabyk and his gang are putting on a business-as-usual facade until the Ultimate Weapon is ready, the Spirit of Coolidge is permitted to land.
But when the Zabyk’s crew is scanning the crate the Spirit of Coolidge brought, Black Knight OH YEAHs right out of it.
And the crew from the Spirit of Coolidge also throw fists and reveal themselves as the Avengers dressed up 30s style.
Awfully convenient that there’s a known group of human cosplaying Skrulls out in the Empire so that Zabyk’s crew didn’t blink when a bunch of humans showed up.
While unboxed Black Knight and Wasp and de-30s’d the rest of the Avengers beat up the Skrulls in the docking bay, Captain Marvel fried the monitor systems for this part of the power asteroid with a dose of infrared.
So the Skrulls in the rest of the asteroid won’t see the Avengers coming, but they’ll bound to send some people to investigate why the monitors aren’t working.
Wasp tells Monica that that’s okay beating up Skrulls is well within the Avengers’ skillset and sends her ahead to find the Ultimate Weapon.
We get another logical limitation to Monica’s way past cool powers. She could zip around at lightspeed and traverse the base in a flash. But she can’t search very well at that speed in close quarters because everything turns into a blur.
If it were outside, it’d be a different story. Or the vastness of space, that’d be good too.
But since she is putting around at sub-sonic speeds, she takes the time to blow out the defense systems along her path, in case the Avengers have to come down the corridor.
Several kilometers across the power asteroid, Zabyk is having a really bad day.
A bunch of Earther superbeings are storming his facility and punching people, there’s a weird electromagnetic energy frying all his systems, a star cruiser just docked without giving identity codes and it wasn’t detected until it had docked because of all the damage to the monitors.
Myrn tells Zabyk not to worry though because the hyperwave bomb’s powering sequence has already been started and all that needs to be done is to trigger the bombardment switch.
Oh boy I hate this.
Okay. So.
The hyperwave bomb activation switch is next to the dimensional power core. And has tons of radiation leakage.
Instead of building the activation switch anywhere else, Myrn just builds a special insulated armor that you have to. OOZE into.
And then solidfy around a bunch of components. And then just exist like that for a while.
Has Skrull shapeshifting gone too far? Yes. Yes it has.
How do their organs work?
Anyway, now that Zabyk has the armor and told that the on switch for the hyperwave bomb is incredibly user friendly, Zabyk kills his old chum Myrn.
What a bad friend.
Elsewhere, the Avengers run along yet more corridors when a heavy door bursts open with a THOOM
HEY ITS OUR GOOD PAL THOR!
Now its a party!
And he’s here with... the Colonizers of Rigel. Now that’s a name that’s not aged well.
Thor says he’s also here to help fight Zabyk.
Not sure what he was doing over in his solo book that led him into this plot. Thor’s in the Simonson run at this time and I don’t remember any Skrull related adventures. Apparently around this same time, he was handling post Surtur related business, like rescuing a bunch of wrongfully claimed mortal souls from Hela.
This must be before that though. His face gets heavily scarred during that story and he wears a piece of his cape over his face until he can grow a nice beard.
Meanwhile, Captain Marvel still sub-sonic nyooming around the power asteroid. She finds the most heavily secured area on the asteroid and immediately decides that if the Skrulls want to keep everyone out, she should go in.
Proving once again how amazingly overpowered Captain Marvel is if written with a little imagination, she easily bypasses the triple-thick blast doors by using the fiber optics in the walls. And even when there’s a frequency barrier on the fiber optics, she bypasses that as well since she can turn into the entire electromagnetic spectrum.
If I convey nothing else, Monica Rambeau’s powerset is rad.
Back over at the Avengers running through corridors, Captain America indulges in a little running small talk.
Captain America: “Too bad that Goliath is stuck back at Avengers Mansion on monitor duty -- eh, Thor?”
Thor: “‘Tis just as well. With his great height, he would be hard pressed to travel these corridors.”
Wrong answer.
I do love that the Skrulls at least tried to lead the Avengers into a trap by imitating the one Avenger who wasn’t on the team but was likely to just be out in space.
If you have the Skrulls in something and they’re not doing a shapeshift, then why not use the Badoon?
Anyway, despite losing the element of surprise, the Skrulls try to attack the Avengers anyway.
Captain America, while jump kicking two Skrulls in the face at the same time: “Sorry, boys -- but an ambush that’s expected rarely works!”
Starfox finds to his surprise that Skrulls have enough of a pleasure center in their brains for him to do his Starfox thing and tickle their fancy from inside their brains.
Why would you be surprised by that?
Anyway, the Skrull that he mind zaps doesn’t know where Zabyk is so Prince Dezan tries with another of the failed ambushers. But he doesn’t get further than shocking the guy that Prince Dezan is out and about before the wall KRUNGs open and out pops a She-Hulk.
Reasonably, Starfox assumes that this is another Skrull trick and tries to punch She-Hulk.
But he bounces off an invisible force field.
I never get tired of watching Starfox bounce off invisible force fields.
The other three Fantastic Four emerge just after She-Hulk and reasonably enough they assume that the Avengers are a Skrull trick.
Although Sue notes that Hercules is exerting a lot of pressure on the invisible force field for an ordinary Skrull.
Traditionally, this would be the time for a misunderstanding fight.
But this is a slightly smarter Avengers team. Wasp is willing to entertain the notion that maybe these really are the Fantastic Four.
Captain America takes that ball and runs with it.
Captain America: “If you’re really Reed Richards, how are things at the Baxter Building?”
Mr. Fantastic: “The real Captain America knows that the Baxter Building was destroyed.”
Captain America: “Right... Blown up in orbit! You’ve been staying at Avengers Mansion since then.”
Now, the misunderstanding fight has its place in the comics book but we’re most of the way through the issue. There’s other stuff to handle. The Fantastic Four and Avengers can fight some other time when cooler heads don’t prevail.
So what are the Fantastic Four doing here?
Well, over in Fantastic Four Annual #19, one of the civil warring planetary governors decides that what will really prove that she deserves to be Empress is if she destroys the Fantastic Four.
Unfortunately for her and fortunately for Fantastic fans, Reed basically deduces the entire political climate just from knowing that Galactus ate the throneworld and that Skrulls are dicks, and figures out that this is a scheme.
After Reed plays along with the governor long enough to capture her, he learns from her that this wasn’t JUST a grasp for power, the governor hoped to get the Skrulls to unite behind her before Zabyk pulled off his own, much more dangerous scheme.
So the Fantastic Four head off to the power asteroid and they were that second ship that docked with the asteroid.
Slightly fun fact: from the point where the Avengers and Fantastic Four meet up, the lines are almost identical between the two annuals because John Byrne drew both. Inking and coloring is different and the Avengers Annual has a page or two that the Fantastic Four Annual doesn’t.
Mr. Fantastic is about to tell Cap the exposition he heard from Myrn when Zabyk pops up on the big screen to yell at the Avengers and Fantastic Four.
Zabyk: “I, Zabyk, shall soon unleash upon an unsuspecting galaxy the power of my hyperwave bomb! The power that will make me master of the universe!!”
You don’t look like any He-Man I’ve ever seen, dude.
Prince Dezan protests how Zabyk has betrayed their super best friend sedition group by becoming such a dick about it and Zabyk only belatedly realizes that Dezan is Dezan.
In fairness, Dezan has been human cosplaying this whole time like a Kralian.
While Zabyk boasts about how he killed Myrn so he couldn’t turn on him and now Myrn’s invention will make sure anyone that tries to oppose him will be eliminated.
I notice that nobody was actually revealed what the hyperwave bomb actually does.
It seems like maybe a bunch of the cast knows from discussions off-panel but the audience is in the dark. I have thoughts on why it was written this way but I’ll share them later on.
Anyway, Captain Marvel has found her way into the main control room. Captain America spots her on the video screen and orders her to burn out the machine.
She zaps into the machine just as Mr. Fantastic tries to protest the order.
Inside the machine Captain Marvel has a trippy experience because the hyperwave bomb is tied into the power asteroid’s main power core which draws power from another dimension.
Which makes it similar to a super-advanced version of the energy disruptor that gave her her powers.
There’s so much power building in the dimensional interface that she feels like she’s being pulled apart and realizes that if the hyperwave bomb isn’t able to release all this energy build-up, it could doom the universe.
Dammit, Myrn!
So a micro-second later, before Mr. Fantastic even finishes his warning, Captain Marvel zaps back out of the machine and then zaps to where the Avengers and Fantastic Four are to tell them that she didn’t stop the machine.
Zabyk doesn’t really know what to make of all this and decides that it was a weird distraction and just goes ahead and hits the on switch.
And things get trippy again.
The entire power asteroid starts rumbling and shaking as the massive broadcast dish sends out an energy pulse through space and subspace, sweeping across the entire galaxy.
Every Skrull in existence (sans the Super Skrull because he’s stuck as radiation in the Oort Cloud at the time) starts glowing with black light as the hyperwave bomb affects them.
And I have to say, I’m impressed by that Skrull spy who was assigned to pretend to be furniture or an art piece indefinitely. Now they’re stuck like that forever.
The story held off on what the hyperwave bomb did until it had already happened.
And here’s what it does: it stabilizes the genetic code of all Skrulls so they can’t shapeshift anymore.
And I think that’s why the story played coy with it. Because there’s more tension if the reader assumes that the bomb is going to blow up the universe or something. If it just stops the Skrulls from shapeshifting, eh it doesn’t really matter if the heroes fail to stop it.
AND THEY DO!
The Avengers and Fantastic Four may as well have not shown up for all it mattered! They beat up some of Zabyk’s goon minions but Myrn screwed over Zabyk from the start. The hyperwave bomb affected Zabyk even in the “insulated” armor.
And what a weird narrative decision for the Skrulls to have their shapeshifting removed. That’s their iconic thing!
They’ve lost their throneworld, their emperor, the unity of their empire and now their species gimmick? Geez, the Skrulls are getting kicked while they’re down.
Not what my first thought would be as a path forward for the Skrull as a concept but Englehart’s Silver Surfer run gets some good material out of it.
It only lasts a couple years before it starts getting undone though.
A Skrull character named S’Byll is introduced in 1988 and for reasons, she can give Skrulls back their shapeshifting by touching them.
Eventually off-panel all Skrulls can shapeshift again despite the logistical hurdles against her touching every Skrull in such a short time period.
Maybe she. Rubbed her hands on a bunch of napkins and sent them out throughout the galaxy?
Whatever.
Anyway, Prince Dezan reflexively turned back into his true form of The Most Handsome (And Thus Ugliest Skrull) right when the hyperwave bomb went off
Seriously look at this dork.
He actually sort of predicts the more modern Skrull designs which lose the gonk and look more like Star Trek budget version of Skrulls.
Like Dezan doesn’t look too far off from Veranke and nobody mentioned that she was also repulsive when they were exiling her for being a religious extremist asshole.
Despite being the Ugliest Skrull, Dezan lucked out compared to Zabyk who is now fused with the armor since he had to shapeshift and solidify around a bunch of the internal mechanisms.
According to Marvel wiki, he doesn’t have any further appearances beyond these two annuals so for all we know, he’s stuck in there forever.
Sucks to be him.
Was this entire hyperwave bomb something Myrn made up to punk specifically Zabyk?
Probably not.
Prince Dezan: “So, poor mad Myrn accomplished what we never could -- he has permanently changed Skrull society! Before, if the true-faces of our birthlings were unappealing, we could change them... or be coerced into changing them. Our faces, our forms could be changed at will. Now, that choice is gone. All Skrulls are trapped forever in the form they were in when the bomb went off. What chaos will befall us... now that we will all be so different?”
Captain America: “Being different is not a weakness, prince. My people have an ideal.. a belief in equality of the mind, of the soul... equality, not sameness. Our nation has embraced all different sizes, shapes, and colors of people -- and because of that, I think, we’ve grown ever stronger in our pursuit of liberty... and of peace!”
Prince Dezan, looking manic: “Peace and liberty, eh? Those are lofty goals. I would hope that my race could one day achieve such goals. Perhaps, there is yet hope.”
Compare the panel from the Avengers Annual
To the one from the Fantastic Four Annual
Not sure why Avengers Annual Prince Dezan looks like he’s a secret villain.
And the weird thing is that he’s not.
His crime that he was sent to forever jail for?
“He wanted to reverse millennia of warfare and subjugation. He was the greatest Skrull outcast of all... he wanted peace.”
Anyway, as the Avengers blast off from the power asteroid, one of them point out that Zabyk’s plan was completely stupid from the word go.
“Even if he had retained his shape-changing abilities, he’d be the most hated Skrull in the empire for what he’d done -- not the best candidate for emperor!”
Weird flex for the comic to point out that the plot is even dumber than it first appears.
Really, this plot would make more sense if nobody knew what the hyperwave bomb did except Myrn until it went off.
Major Syrro apparently reported on everything that happened to General Zedrao and the general was surprisingly calm at the news that all shape-shifting is gone forever, probably contemplating the discord thats going to hit all the soldiers under his command as the lack of shape-shifting sinks in.
And the excuse for all of this plot - to try to find a lead on Nebula (did you forget? I did too) has been rendered moot. The hyperwave bomb energy wave obliterated any traces the Avengers could have tried to follow.
So I guess the Avengers won’t be finding Nebula anytime soon. But I vaguely remember that she comes up again in an Avengers issue guest-starring Spider-Man so she’ll be back with an even wilder scheme.
Nothing for the Avengers but to return to Earth and to... Secret Wars II.
Maybe they should look for Nebula longer??
Follow @essential-avengers even though I’m not covering Secret Wars II in depth. Like and reblog because I’m not covering Secret Wars II in depth.
#avengers#avengers annual#essential avengers#essential marvel liveblogging#a lot of Skrulls#the Wasp#Black Knight#Captain America#Captain Marvel#Monica Rambeau#Hercules#Starfox#Thor?#Fantastic Four#Mr Fantastic#Invisible Woman#She Hulk#human torch#skrulls who larp as humans
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Essential Avengers: Avengers #261: EARTH and BEYOND!
November, 1985
Oh god, Secret Wars II continues in this issue...
And it looks like Beyonder and his silly Stryfe-putting-to-shame armor is going to feature prominently in this issue? Being on the cover? Looming over the background?
I’ll try to keep an open mind. I’ve argued that Secret Wars II had at its very core some interesting ideas so now I’ll put my money in my mouth. And just hope that not a lot of other issues are integral to this issue. I only want to handle one issue at a time for a while.
SO.
Last times on Avengers: Vision sent Captain Monica Marvel into space to distract her from his world-takeover attempt (which the Avengers talked him out of later) and despite it being a several hours long snipe hunt, Monica still manages to get kidnapped to another galaxy by (Thanos’ granddaughter?) Nebula.
Monica winds up joining up with the Skrull armada against Nebula and manage to send the Avengers a message. The Avengers show up and also join the Skrulls in fighting Nebula although the Beyonder teleports her to ??? before the Avengers can capture her.
Then, they had a side adventure while they were IN SPACE to a Skrull power asteroid where a Skrull mad scientist and a power mad Skrull extremist set off a bomb that mode-locks all Skrulls so they can’t shapeshift anymore.
Bummer for them.
The Avengers have to return from their adventure to the power asteroid to tell cool guy General Zedrao the bad news.
The Skrull armada soldiers actually take it pretty well, all told.
I guess because they’re soldiers and not spies or miscellaneous, they didn’t get as much use out of the shapeshifting. Even though you’d think there’d be combat applications for anyone the least bit creative.
One of the soldiers says hey everyone here still has their true Skrull face and also are the heroes that helped stop Nebula. Plus, they get the Sanctuary II as a cool addition to the Skrull armada.
‘Um, no,’ says Starfox.
The same soldier is like yeah how you going to stop us from taking it, while his Skrull buddy is like ‘stfu man!’ but Starfox has a very simple fix to what to do with Thanos’ flagship warship.
He just implodes it the fuck... uh not up. In? Implodes it the fuck in?
Point being, nobody gets it.
The Skrull soldier complains to General Zedrao like complaining to mom that somebody broke a toy but Zedra tells him to suck it up. It was Starfox’s because Skrulls respect blood-right when it comes to salvage. Thanos built it, Thanos dead, Starfox gets it. And he can blow it up if he wants to.
Zedrao does suggest maybe the Avengers gtfo because there’s liable to be a mutiny if they keep hanging around.
Firelord still doesn’t trust the Skrulls and is sure that this is a Skrull trick to blow up the Avengers as soon as they’re all off any Skrull ships but Wasp tells him to stfu.
Wasp: “Firelord, shut up! Zedrao has earned the Avengers’ trust -- which is more than I can say for you!”
Captain Monica points out too that Zedrao is the one who sent out the rescue party that found Firelord passed out on some moon and brought him back for healing.
Firelord: “That I should be indebted to a Skrull -- ! Astounding!”
Hercules: “‘Tis a debt you can repay by leaving with us in peace!”
I have a feeling that Firelord is definitely a contender for Avengers’ least favorite guest star. Although, looking at the cover, I wonder if that’s going to change.
While the Avengers go to leave, General Zedrao stops them for one last word.
General Zedrao: “One moment, Avengers. My race has waged war across the stars for millions of years -- we have made few allies. Our races have been hated enemies, yet you fought alongside us against Nebula as though we were your own kind! I do not fully understand such selflessness, but I feel strangely honored by it. May your courage endure!”
Captain America, doing a salute because of course he is: “Goodbye, general. if we meet again, may it be as allies once more!”
Seriously. Zedrao seems rad. It doesn’t seem like he has more appearances and that’s a shame. Boo and hiss.
So the Avengers take off in Starfox’s dad’s ship and warps through sub-space Earthways.
While Firelord is still bewildered that Skrulls were not complete dicks at him and Hercules angles that into an excuse to tell the story of the Argo, as Wasp watches space TV apparently, while Black Knight is still more awed by FTL travel than anything he’s seen traveling time and dimensions, Captain Steve worries that the weirdo they saw in space was the Beyonder which can only mean trouble.
But that gets put to the wayside because Starfox announces he’s leaving the Avengers.
He claims that its just wanderlust but Captain Marvel sees right through him that he’s been acting out of sorts since Nebula got away and guesses correctly that Starfox is going after her.
Starfox admits this and that it may be a family matter since Nebula claims to be Thanos’ grand-daughter.
Captain America: “Good lord!”
I don’t know if Cap is thinking ‘good lord, another Thanos??’ or ‘good lord, Thanos fucks??’ because he’s going to be very disappointed if its the latter reaction. Thanos fucks so, so much.
I think Thanos might fuck more than his brother Eros, ironically.
Wasp: “Why didn’t you tell us before?”
Starfox: “Because Nebula is my personal responsibility. Had I acted less recklessly, she might have been captured. And if she is Thanos’ grand-daughter, I have a familial duty to stop her. The rest of you Avengers are of the Earth -- you are needed here! BUt I have no roots, no bonds... not even to my birth-world of Titan. I’ve wandered the cosmos for most of my life. I stand the best chance of finding Nebula and bringing her to justice.”
Firelord offers to come help since he is also a wanderer and also has a justice duty since Nebula destroyed his homeworld of Xandar.
Starfox’s response, hilariously, is a sour expression and a “Very well, if you must.”
Hahaha, yeah, Firelord is DEFINITELY the Avengers’ least favorite guest star.
For some reason and despite knowing Starfox only a few weeks, Black Knight apparently takes it hardest of all, feeling like he’s losing a brother.
I wonder if that’s one of those Black Knight Plot Hooks, like later on where he’ll keep staring at Exodus and going ‘I swear I know this guy from somewhere.’
Starfox says he’ll miss being an Avenger but Cap says that they’ll just put him on the inactive roster. Its not like if you leave you can never join again.
Instead of swinging by Earth, Starfox just launches the Avengers’ Quinjet out of his ship while they’re still in sub-space but pointed largely in the direction of Earth.
The Quinjet, not being designed for sub-space gets buffeted around a lot but Starfox was pretty positive that the ship could take it. And all they have to do is follow a navigation course he entered into the Quinjet navigation computer, which it definitely has, to a natural warp nexus that’ll pop them out near Earth.
Very near Earth. Like right in its orbit.
As they go, Firelord comments:
Firelord: “How is it that so insignificant a race could produce such heroes?”
Starfox: “You underestimate them. An old friend once told me that Earth’s humanity has a glorious destiny... and I never knew him to be wrong.”
Was that Mar-Vell? I’m not getting the reference. Editorial captions, why have you failed me?
Also, the funny thing is that Earth’s glorious destiny is to take over all of space with the power of Rick Jones’ bullshit reality warping. Thankfully, that future did not refuse to change.
So. That’s it for Starfox on the Avengers.
I don’t believe he’ll be a constant member of the roster again but he’ll appear in the Avengers book again.
As a member of the Avengers... he was fine. Aside from his ‘pleasure power’ he’s kind of just a boring flying brick. Even considering the wrinkle they tried to give him with light gravity powers.
It was fun that he just wanted to be the party Avenger but kept having to be the science Avenger or serious Avenger but not as much as could have been done with it was.
I feel more could have been done with him joining the Avengers for adventure and finding that it also involved a lot of training and, I dunno, paperwork? I assume the Avengers do paperwork sometimes.
In a lot of ways Starfox was mainly around to facilitate Vision’s arc and found something else to do once Vision’s arc was over.
He seemed like he would have had more to do with She-Hulk if She-Hulk weren’t suddenly shuffled over to the Fantastic Four book instead.
But: he wasn’t as bad as I was fearing so there’s that. Just a solid member of the team even if not the most interesting person present.
Anyway.
The Avengers arrive back on Earth and Captain Marvel takes off immediately lightspeed nyoom because she’s been lost in space for weeks and needs to let her family know she’s okay.
She arrives in New Orleans a fraction of a second after nyooming and appears in her parent’s home in a literal flash.
It’s nice to have some family as a supporting cast on the book.
Monica’s parents were clearly worried about her when they weren’t able to reach her for days but accept her explanation because she’s an adult and just get to feeding her.
Which Monica is totally down for. Since she lost a couple pounds when she overwhelmed the Sanctuary II’s shields.
I dunno, it just feels like any family that shows up in Avengers are Huge Drama Bombs like Magneto or. Y’know. Literally everything that just happened with Vision and Wonder Man and Grim Reaper.
Does Black Knight have any living family? Not yet he doesn’t! Wasp doesn’t seem to either, neither does Cap. Hercules Avenges to get some time AWAY from his family.
So I like that Monica just has a normal family situation.
Also, a very nice touch that Frank Rambeau goes from picking at his cold cereal to offering to cook up a huge breakfast for everyone once Monica shows up.
Meanwhile, in New York, the Avengers finally return to Avengers’ Mansion after their space adventures in space. And boy is Jarvis glad to see them.
While they were gone, a weird man showed up to see the Avengers and Jarvis felt compelled to let him in. Jarvis told the man that the Avengers were up IN SPACE so the guy goes oh ok i’ll go find them and teleports away.
Then reappeared an hour later muttering about how he’d made a mess of things.
We remember that. He teleported Nebula away because he very literally interpreted things that Firelord said and then everyone yelled at him.
Cap remembers that too and deduce guesses from context that the visitor to the Mansion was in fact the very same weirdo they met in space.
Captain America: “And given the kind of power he’s throwing around, I’m sure that he’s the Beyonder! One thing is certain though -- we must give the highest priority to tracking him down!”
Jarvis then has to politely cough and say actually there may be a higher priority and hands Wasp a letter delivered by government courier some hours ago. The letter is from the Federal Aviation Administration and it says the Avengers only have 30 days to move their Quinjets out of the city!
That wacky government is up to their ol’ shenanigans again!
Something like that was bound to happen since Henry Peter Gyrich is all up in the Avengers’ business again and the Avengers are losing their special government privileges due to that whole Vision trying to take over the world thing.
They lost their Quinjet launch rights back in the Korvac Saga too and had to take a bus to the battle against the all-powerful doofus. That was fun.
And now there’s another all-powerful doofus in the mix.
History really does repeat.
So the real highest priority is for Cap and Wasp to go to Washington, D.C. the next morning to talk to Mr. Fenton of the FAA.
Wasp: “But, Mr. Fenton, we need easy access to our Quinjets! We often have to respond to trouble around the world in a matter of minutes!”
Mr. Fenton: “I see your problem, but I can’t allow the continuance of a private jetport for supersonic aircraft in the heart of Manhattan. Especially considering the highly volatile aviation fuel you store there! You were originally allowed an exemption for your ‘Quinjet facility’ only because of your special government clearance. And what with the Security Council restructuring their clearance -- the FAA has decided to cancel that exemption. You really should move your base of operations to a safer location!”
Captain America: “At least grant us an extension on that 30-day limit, man! Right now, the world faces a menace of unspeakable power who could strike anywhere, at anytime!”
Mr. Fenton: “Oh, really? And just what might this menace be?”
Hah!
Beyonder: “It is allowable to call you ‘Cap’, isn’t it? The Wasp calls you that... and I heard Iron Man and Hawkeye call you that when we were in California!”
Very polite of the Beyonder to ask first.
Cap(tain America) tells Beyonder he just wants to talk and Beyonder goes “You do prefer to settle conflict with words, don’t you? Well, if you want to talk, you have to catch me first!”
And then takes off running.
I see Beyonder has decided to be one of those fun cosmic entities.
Mr. Felton asks if he should call the police but Cap says that if they can’t reason with him, all the armies in the world couldn’t help.
So, I guess its good he wants to be silly.
Wasp notes that the Beyonder moves and looks a bit like Cap which Cap has also noticed. Unbeknownst to either of them, the Beyonder decided to base his body on Cap’s because of him being peak human. But then gave himself a different haircut.
Since Wasp can navigate the crowd faster than Cap can, she zips around until she can zap him in the cheek.
The Beyonder stands stunned that she caught up to him which gives Cap the chance to catch up and hurl his mighty shield.
And whenever Captain America throws his mighty shield/all who oppose his shield must yield!
To gravity if nothing else.
Looking bemused at how quickly the two Avengers caught him and knocked him down, he comments he’ll have to try again and teleports away.
All very confusing and worrying to the Avengers.
When a cosmic entity decides to play tag on Earth, it just causes anxiety.
If nothing else, Cap’s worried that the Beyonder might start some kind of Secret War II on Earth.
Twenty-four hours later, Black Knight and Hercules are visiting Project Pegasus in the Catskill Mountains.
Since the Avengers have helped out Project Pegasus multiple times, the Avengers are hoping that Project Pegasus will build them some sort of... Beyonder tracker.
And Dr. Clark of the cosmic ray research unit is just the man for the job.
Based on the recorded emission of high-level cosmic radiation the Avengers got off of the Beyonder, Dr. Clark believes they can create a triangulation network to find him.
Black Knight: “Whatever it takes, let’s do it! We must find our man!”
Dr. Clark: “All right, then. I’ll contact... eh?”
The Beyonder, appearing right behind them: “What a marvelous collection of devices! How do they work? What do they do? May I flip some switches?”
Maybe they should have let him flip some switches.
Instead of what they actually do.
Hercules tries to bear hug the Beyonder into submission but makes the mistake of telling him that its impossible to break his grip.
So Beyonder tries, by blowing Project Pegasus a new one.
And credit where its due! He does break Hercules’ grip!
Hercules: “Hounds of Hades... ne’er have I felt such bludgeoning power... Not from the fists of the Hulk, not from the hammer of Thor, not even -- father forgive me -- from the thunderbolts of Zeus! What manner of power does this Beyonder possess?!?”
It’s weird that he says bludgeoning power. You don’t typically think of an explosion as bludgeoning despite it having a lot of kinetic force.
Maybe he headbutted Hercules?
Since Hercules has been blown away, it leaves Black Knight to try to fight the Beyonder now.
Despite Black Knight really not wanting to. Because of that aforementioned bit where he blew Hercules away and tore Project Pegasus a new one.
Black Knight just has a sword. It doesn’t even angst nuke yet.
But the Beyonder is only intrigued by Black Knight waving a sword at him.
Beyonder: “I am not overly familiar with swordplay. Show me how it’s done!”
And then he grows a bunch of hands wielding swords from the ground for Black Knight to fight.
Uh, eat shit EMIYA I guess.
Black Knight easily cuts through the arms because his Ebony Blade can’t do angst nuke yet but it is a super sharp magical sword.
Can it cut through adamantium? I’m sure that has been answered in some comic somewhere.
So the Beyonder just summons up a sword for himself so he can one-on-one with Black Knight.
And this puts things enough on Black Knight’s level that he starts shit-talking Beyonder. Guy may be an overpowered cosmic being but his swordmanship is shit and his sword is easily broken by the Ebony Blade. Black Knight even suggests that this fight is just a waste of time.
Beyonder: “Experience is no waste of time! And I must experience this to the fullest!”
Then he lunges forward and accidentally impales himself on the Ebony Blade.
Uh. Problem solved?
But no.
He’s not really hurt by getting impaled but he is... sheepish maybe? That he got overeager and forgot that pain hurts.
The Beyonder just kind of nopes out to go think about things.
Another time skip forward, this one a couple hours.
Black Knight and Hercules have returned to the Mansion and are reporting on what happened and how the Beyonder just left after downplaying getting stabbed.
Thankfully nobody at Project Pegasus was hurt by the massive explosion.
Not clear whether that was luck or whether the Beyonder was being very careful in his fun.
But the weirdo alien himself showing up and breaking shit convinced Project Pegasus higher-ups to fast-track the Beyonder detection system. So it should be ready by the end of the day.
Which only leaves the issue for the Avengers of what they’ll even do once they can track down the Beyonder, a question that Wasp is pondering carefully.
Hercules: “I know what I would do, if I found the Beyonder!”
The Beyonder: -appearing suddenly- “Oh? What would you do?”
WHAM
Good answer, Herc!
Hercules uppercuts the Beyonder so hard that he in fact flies through the three above floors, igniting the Quinjet fuel stored on the third floor and turning that part of the mansion into an inferno. But thankfully not an Inferno. That’s for later.
The FAA somewhere possibly getting the weirdest urge to shout YA SEE??
Thankfully, the fire safety systems throughout the rest of the mansion halt the spread but still, Hercules, c’mon, have some awareness. Don’t trash your own home.
Captain Marvel zips up to the third floor and finds the Beyonder perfectly okay.
Hercules arrives not long after, punching his way through a fire safety door, which again, c’mon Herc, that door prevents the spread of fire ya goof, ready to smite the Beyonder EVEN HARDER but Cap(tain America) tells him to chill.
Black Knight finally thinks to just ask the Beyonder what the fuck he’s up to.
Black Knight: “Beyonder, you’ve played cat-and-mouse with us for the past two days... just what is it that you want?”
Beyonder: “I want to understand you... your world... everything! You are all so fascinating yet confusing at the same time. I sought to help you in that other galaxy -- to earn and experience your gratitude. But my attempt failed because I misunderstood your goals. It was all very confusing and... discomforting. I thought that perhaps I could make amends by giving you the challenge of pursuing me. Ah... that is your form of sport, isn’t it?”
Oh my god.
So going back to where the entire first Secret Wars was basically the Beyonder banging some action figures together, well, that’s his mindset. He lacks context for most everything so he figures that banging action figures together is just what the Avengers do for fun.
He messed up them chasing Nebula around so he let them chase him around.
It’s all very...... hilarious. It’s all very hilarious. To me.
Wasp figures hey Beyonder wants to understand what the Avengers do, she’s gonna offer him a spot on the team.
Hercules is outraged but the Avengers talk themselves around to the idea.
Because, look, they can’t beat him. So why not have him join them? If the Beyonder is hanging around, they’ve got a way to keep an eye on him and maybe they can teach him responsibility.
Uh, maybe. As Captain Marvel points out the damage to the mansion is from Hercules, not the Beyonder.
Captain Marvel: “We may be superhuman, but we still make mistakes! How do we set an example for a being who for all practical purposes is omnipotent?”
Captain America: “I don’t know, Marvel. Admittedly, I can’t imagine a task more difficult than coaching the Beyonder... but I’m afraid it’s the best solution we have. After all, if the Avengers can’t do it... who can?”
Maybe the Fantastic Four.
This is superficially similar to when they had the Impossible Man living with them. But the Avengers are living at the Mansion currently too so it’d be about the same thing really.
Also, a funny little bit, Captain America points out that the Beyonder hasn’t committed any “major crimes”, just caused obscene amounts of property damage and trespassed places. I think it explains a lot about the Avengers that they don’t consider exploding a chunk out of Project Pegasus a major crime.
Anyway, while the Avengers were taking a sidebar about this idea, the Wasp has been explaining the concept of the Avengers to the Beyonder.
She doesn’t say it in as many words but its the Earth’s mightiest heroes banded together to fight threats they couldn’t handle individually spiel. With some responsibility talk thrown in.
After she finishes her explanation, she asks if the Beyonder is interested in joining.
He is interested since the Avengers are some of the most interesting of the people he’s encountered but decides that he doesn’t want to get tied down to one place when there’s still a whole fascinating world out there to experience.
But to not be a dick he uses his EXTREME POWERS to fix everything that got broke as a result of his visit. And then he teleports away.
Leaving the Avengers a bit concerned about the whole thing.
Hercules: “He is well named. His power is as far beyond that of the gods, as the gods are beyond the ant. What are we to do now?”
Captain Marvel: “I guess the only thing we can do is keep as close a tab on the Beyonder as possible... and try to keep him on the side of the angels!”
Captain America: “I hope that will be enough, C.M., because if the Beyonder’s power should become corrupted -- it could well mean the end of everything!”
Stop reading ahead in the script, Cap.
Okay, so. As an individual issue, as a single story, that wasn’t only not bad, it was enjoyable. Having the Avengers inadvertently trolled by an omnipotent being who thinks he’s being helpful is great fun.
I’m sure that there were some clunkers in the massive pile of Secret Wars II tie-ins and even if every issue were solidly okay, I bet it’d be frustrating to not be able to escape the event.
Kind of like modern events actually.
But its what I mean when I said that at its core, Secret Wars II had some solid ideas. An omnipotent being farting around Earth and slowly developing from what he learns is a solid idea. And as in this issue, a fun idea.
And I will continue to interact with Secret Wars II only as much as it concerns the main Avengers book.
Follow @essential-avengers for all your Avengers content. I think there’s a Secret Wars II podcast so if you’re curious in the rest of Secret Wars II maybe look for that. Like and reblog because I gave a helpful, vague suggestion.
#Avengers#essential avengers#essential marvel liveblogging#Secret Wars II#the Beyonder#the Wasp#Captain America#Captain Marvel#Monica Rambeau#Hercules#Black Knight#Starfox#they need a new member to replace Starfox so why not Beyonder?
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Captain Marvel is visited by General Zedrao of the Imperial Skrull Empire! (Isn’t that redundant!?) And because Captain Marvel has always been their greatest enemy, Zedrao has arrived to honor him. #marvel #graphicnovel #captainmarvel #deathofcaptainmarvel https://ift.tt/2Q011eB
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