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rfamess · 4 years

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This cured my boredom for a little bit. Was making a few new music playlists and thought.. hmm. I wonder what kind of music the RFA listens to? So, I made this. For no reason at all.

What Kind of Music the RFA + V/Saeran Listen To:

Saeyoung/707:

- (I always see people writing that he’d listen to all star or other cringe meme songs because that’s what seems to be his entire personality, but I like to think he has more substance than that and listens to songs that don’t have to do with memes.)

- He definitely listens to rap/hip-hop.

- Can you not imagine him driving down the road in his cars, windows down, music blasting?

- He listens to his music uber loud in his headphones while working.

- His favorite artist is probably Tyler the creator, i mean, how could you not love him.

- Listens to Mac Miller when he’s sad :(

PLAYLIST:

Who Dat Boy - Tyler the Creator

Stutter - Freddie Dredd

Evil Fantasy - Freddie Dredd

Sweatpants - Childish Gambino

Bounce - Logic

Dead Wrong - Notorious B.I.G.

Movement - Oliver Tree

Stick to Your Guns - Watsky

Both - Gucci Mane

No Sleep Till Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

Can I Kick It - A Tribe Called Quest

No Limit - G Easy

Circles - Mac Miller

Broke Bitch - TMG (lol)

Bonfire - Childish Gambino

I THINK - Tyler the Creator

Good News - Mac Miller

I - Kendrick Lamar

FACE - Brockhampton

King Kunta - Kendrick Lamar

Lovely Things Suite: Knots - Watsky

Zen:

- (Similar to Saeyoung, I don’t believe Zens entire personality revolves around musicals, he probably doesn’t listen to them that often imo.)

- I like to think he’s a... well rounded individual when it comes to music

- Listens to anything and everything.

- I could see him listening to the same music as Seven, but is also very into 70s-90s rock like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the like.

- He runs listening to all of his music on shuffle and doesn’t have a specific playlist so there’s never a certain vibe to it— it really is all over the place.

- In addition to Seven’s playlist, here’s Zen’s

PLAYLIST:

Funny Face - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Santeria - Sublime

Badfish - Sublime

The Luck You Got - The High Strung

Dedicated to the One I Love - The Mamas and the Papas

Heart of Glass - Blondie

Come as You Are - Nirvana

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Machu Picchu - The Strokes

Dirty Harry - Gorillaz

Love of Your Life - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Bailee - The Licks

Where is my Mind - Pixies

Hurt Like Mine - The Black Keys

Gap - The Kooks

Give it Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Hoops - The Rubens

Conquest - The White Stripes

Ten Cent Pistol - The Black Keys

Yoosung:

- Yoosung likes more upbeat music, maybe more new age/alternative pop

- Listens to music every time he tries to study, but usually get distracted by it and starts to sing along instead of actually doing his work

- Is probably trying to branch out of his style, Seven and Zen try to convince him to listen to their favorite genres

- The three of them always argue about who has the best taste in music lol

- He’s constantly wondering if his music is “manly” enough (it’s okay yoosung it’s just music)

- If this dude gets drunk and hears any of this music he goes absolutely wild and dances all over the place

PLAYLIST:

Bambi - Hippocampus

Turn - the Wombats

Paris - Magic Man

Chronic Sunshine - Cosmo Pike

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

Silvertongue - Young the Giant

Brazil - Declan McKenna

Unbelievers - Vampire Weekend

Baseball - Hippocampus

Australia - The Shins

Prune, You Talk Funny - Gus Dapperton

Honeypie - JAWNY

Alien Boy - Oliver Tree

Satellite - Guster

So Young - Portugal. The Man

Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

Circles - Post Malone

Unbearably White - Vampire Weekend

Tiny Umbrella - Coast Modern

Way it Goes - Hippocampus

Electric Feel - MGMT

Jumin:

- this guy has 2 modes and that’s it: classical bitch or music that has words

- He appreciates the fine art of classical music and listens to it when he has work to get done or when he’s trying to relax.

- If he’s in a good mood he’ll put on a playlist that includes “music with actual lyrics!”

- It’s a dad playlist. Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Elton John, The Beatles, Billy Joel.

- He likes Billy Joel. Jumin has a dad personality you can’t convince me otherwise lol

- He tried to branch out but can get very picky in his interests. “I don’t like this guitar riff— change it”

- Either way his 2 modes are apparent in his playlists

PLAYLIST:

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

California Dreamin’ - The Mamas and the Papas

Don’t Ask Me Why - Billy Joel

Starman - David Bowie

Miss You - The Rolling Stones

Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvest

Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

It’s Too Late - Carole King

Movin’ Out - Billy Joel

A Horse With No Name - America

I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

Honky Cat - Elton John

Vienna - Billy Joel

The Stranger - Billy Joel

Waltz in A Minor - Chopin

Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G Minor - Brahms

Waltz No. 7 in C Sharp Minor, Op. 64, No. 2 - Chopin

Souvenir de Paganini - Chopin

Solfeggietto in C Minor - Bach

Prelude in B Minor, Op. 32, No. 10 - Rachmaninoff

IV. Allegro Molto From Quartet - Yo-Yo Ma

La Fille Aux Cheveux de Lin - Debussy

Porz Goret - Yann Tiersen

Carnival of the Animals: VII. Aquarium - Camille Saint-Saëns

Carnival of the Animals: XIII. The Swan - Camille Saint-Saëns

Jaehee:

- We all know her obsession with Musicals (specifically zens)

- Other than this she listens to...well honestly I don’t know

- Her music doubles as something she can get hyped up with and something she can listen to to relax.

- She loves to dance, so a lot of her songs and just songs that she’ll never be able to refuse to move her feet to!

- She likes the old classics and then she likes Doja Cat. Lizzo? Queen.

- She’s a barb let’s be real please. you can never convince me that she’s not

PLAYLIST:

Adore You - Harry Styles

She - Harry Styles

Call Me - Blondie

Starships - Nicki Minaj

Hey Mickey - Toni Basil

Juice - Lizzo

Say So - Doja Cat

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

Waterloo - ABBA

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Killing Me Softly With His Song - Roberta Flack (LOL the memories associated with this song after Killing Stalking..... hahahaha BUT ITS STILL A GREAT SONG!)

Only - Nicki Minaj

Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Beez in the Trap - Nicki Minaj

Woman - Harry Styles

9 to 5 - Dolly Parton

Blame it on the Boogie - Michael Jackson

One Way or Another - Blondie

Tia Tamera - Doja Cat

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

- indie boy indie boy indie boy indie boy

- Cmon just look at him he’s an indie boy

- If you’ve ever met a film student that gatekeeps music, they have the same exact taste but V won’t say shit to make you feel stupid. It’s just music bruv

- If you’ve ever been to an indie concert you know the fuckin dance you know what I’m talking about. he does that.

- Rolls a joint, pops the music off and he paints, does photography, whatever. Either way he straight vibes every single time the tunes come on.

- Low key thinks he has the best music taste. that’s just how dem indie kids roll let’s be real here.

- For some reason knows everything about every type of music. will spew facts about artists and songs at random

PLAYLIST:

Shuggie - Foxygen

Necessary Evil - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Homage - Mild High Club

Another One - Mac DeMarco

Plants - Crumb

What Once Was - Her’s

Heart and My Car - Summer Salt

Cottage Roads - The Walters

Moonlight on the River - Mac DeMarco

Work This Time - King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Like Yesterday - Paul Cherry

Call it Fate, Call it Karma - The Strokes

Knowhere - Nick DeLaurentis

Escargot Blues - Guantánamo Bay Surf Club

A Side / B Side - Tipling Rock

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

That I Miss You - Vansire

Top Tier Love - Lonely Benson

Driving to Hawaii - Summer Salt

Taking Up Space - Mustard Service

She’s the Only One - King Guru

Saeran:

- emo boy emo boy emo boy

- We all know it

- As much as I’d love to say he listens to heavy death metal, there’s a part of my mind saying NO he’s not like that.

- Well he is, but he’s got more than a few single interest

- Probably listens to Nirvana, Cage the Elephant, anything similar

- Is always trying to listen to new music

- Kind of sick of Seven blasting his music all the time and listens to the opposite of hip hop whenever possible

- Honestly enjoys all types of music, but sticks to his favorites

PLAYLIST:

- All Apologies - Nirvana

- Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

- Soma - The Strokes

- Black Madonna - Cage the Elephant

- Hysteria - Muse

- Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkeys

- I Got Mine - The Black Keys

- Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

- Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

- Back Against the Wall - Cage the Elephant

- Creep - Radiohead

- Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

- Demon Days - Gorillaz

- Bulls on Parade - Rage Against The Machine

- Matador - The Buttertones

- Holiday - Green Day

- RIP - The Licks

- London Calling - The Clash

- Loser - Beck

- What I Got - Sublime

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l-egionaire · 4 years

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A Gocup Christmas

I posted this over a year ago to my AO3 and Fanfiction accounts and wanted to post it here.

It was Christmas time in the city of San Fransokyo. People were stringing up lights, putting up their trees, and working to make everything just feel festive. And nowhere was that felt more than the San Fransokyo Institute of technology. The walls of the buildings were lined with blinking high tech environmentally friendly Christmas bulbs, and inside the middle of the quad a massive Christmas tree had been put up and covered in almost every kind of decoration the students could find. The small spray of snow falling from the sky decorated its branches with layers of white, further adding to its holiday display.

Inside the robotics lab, two students in particular where hard at work. One was a young woman with black hair with a purple streak in it and the other was a young man with scruffy wind whipped brown hair and a large nose. They were currently examining a bright yellow bike frame hanging from the ceiling.

"I think it's looking pretty good Gogo." Said the man as he admired the bike.

The woman examined the bike frame with extreme scrutiny. "Yeah, but so far all the practical tests I've done have been in the lab. I haven't managed to try it out on the open road, so I don't know how it'll perform." She looked over at the man. "Besides Hiccup, there is a big difference between something looking good and it actually working the way it should."

"I know, but what can you do? You'd need permission from the university to test out something like this outside of school, you know with their whole "Not letting students test their dangerous experiments outside campus" Policy." Hiccup shrugged. "Not much you can do."

Gogo sighed. "Yeah, guess I'll just have to figure it out after the holidays." Then she cleared her throat and nervously looked off to the side. "So um, Christmas is just two days away."

Hiccup smirked. "I gathered that from the twinkling lights and people wearing Santa hats."

"Yeah, and I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to do something tomorrow."

Hiccup frowned. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Go to dinner or see a flick or something" Gogo suggested, doing her best to look away from him.

Hiccup thought for a few seconds before regretfully saying. "I can't. I've got some Christmas shopping to do tomorrow." He turned away so she wouldn't notice the conflicted look on his face. In truth he'd be using the time to complete a special gift for her. He'd been working on it for weeks and it was almost done.

"Oh." Gogo said sullenly.

Hiccup frowned in concern. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just figured since that since this is our first Christmas together as a couple, we'd spend it, you know, together."

"Sorry, but I really put this off to the last minute." Hiccup said. "Besides, it's just Christmas Eve. As in, the day before. We can still go out and do something Christmas day."

"Yeah, yeah sure." She said, not quite managing to hide her disappointment.

Hiccup noticed her downtrodden expression. "What's the matter?"

Before she could answer, the door to the lab opened. They looked behind them and saw Fred, Wasabi, and Honey all wearing thick Christmas sweaters. Fred's was red, Honeys was pink, and Wasabi's was light green.

"Feliz navidad you two!" Honey said cheerfully. She ran over and pulled them into a tight hug.

"Merry Christmas Honey." Hiccup croaked out.

"Ribs….being…..crushed." Gogo groaned.

Honey let go and pulled on the sides of her sweater to better display the glittering periodic table on the front. "What do you think? I made them for everyone!"

Fred walked over and lovingly rubbed the front of his sweater,which bore the image of a giant blue and orange kaiju breathing flames onto a city. "Honey you are amazing. I have never wanted a piece of fabric to touch my body as much as this one."

Wasabi simply hid his face in his hands and mumbled something about "being roped into this", his other hand trying to cover the red atom on his sweater.

Hiccup stared at them, dumbfounded, while Gogo stood there with an eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Wow, those are really…..something Honey." Hiccup said, feigning enthusiasm.

"I'm so glad you think so, because I made some for you guys too!" Honey whipped out two more sweaters from her purse. One was bright yellow with the picture of a speeding bike and the other was black with the image of a red jet.

The two of them looked at each other before begrudgingly pulling on the sweaters.

"Great. You really shouldn't have." Hiccup said, pulling his head through the neck hole on his.

"Yeah. Really." Gogo grumbled while putting on hers.

Fred reached behind his back and withdrew a thermos and five small paper cups. He unscrewed the top of the thermos and poured a thick white liquid into each.

"My special recipe eggnog." He shoved a full cup into each of their hands and then raised his in the air. "A toast! To this awesome Christmas and all the ones that come after it."

"Merry Christmas!" They all met their cups in the middle and then took a swig of the Eggnog. Unfortunately, Fred was the only one to do so without spitting it out two seconds later.

"Ugh!"

"Yuck!"

"Oh god!"

"Umm, Freddie?" Honey asked politely while trying not to be sick. "What exactly is in this Eggnog?"

"Just a few eggs, some milk, a little bit of scotch, some cinnamon, some nutmeg, ground up Christmas cookies, powdered cocoa mix, mint toothpaste, some holly, and a leaf of mistletoe." He took another sip and gave a satisfied sigh, licking the nog mustache off his upper lip. "I call it Christmas joy."

After hearing the exact list of ingredients, Wasabi covered his mouth and bolted out to the nearest bathroom.

The others grimaced and poured the concoction into a nearby trashcan.

"So." Honey said, hoping to distract from the horrific beverage they'd just consumed. "Hiccup, Gogo, your first Christmas together as a couple. You must have some exciting plans for tomorrow."

"Not really." Gogo said abruptly. "Hiccups going to be too busy."

"Seriously, why are you so upset?" Hiccup pressed.

"I'm not upset okay!?" Gogo snapped. "I just- I gotta go." She grabbed her coat, and her bag, and bolted from the room, slamming the door as she left.

Honey stared worriedly at the lab door. "What was that about?"

"I don't know. All I said was that I wouldn't be able to do something with her tomorrow because I was going Christmas shopping."

"Ah, Hiccup how much do you know about how Asian countries celebrate Christmas?" Honey asked.

"Besides the fact that they eat different foods and do different things? Not much." He admitted.

"Well, in places like Korea and Japan, Christmas eve is usually celebrated more than Christmas day. And it's seen as more of a romantic holiday. Sort of like Valentine's day."

Hiccup eyes popped. "What!?"

"It's just that from what I know, most couples in San Fransokyo spend Christmas Eve together doing something special, so I think the reason Gogo got so upset was because she figured you'd spend that time together."

Hiccups brain was almost overloaded by this new information. "Why wouldn't she just tell me that?"

Honey snorted. "Hiccup, it's Gogo. She's like a brick wall when it comes to expressing her emotions. I doubt she'd admit she wanted to do something romantic with her boyfriend on Christmas Eve."

Hiccup sighed wearily and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Ugh, what am I going to do?"

"Don't worry Hiccup, I'm sure you'll think of something." She left.

Hiccup simply stood there for a few minutes before Fred walked over and slung an arm around his shoulder.

"I feel you buddy. Love can be tough. I bet another cup of Christmas joy would-."

"Not going to happen."

As he walked back home, Hiccup tried to figure out what to do about Gogo. He had no idea Christmas eve was such a big deal around here. God, if this was really as big as Valentine's Day, he definitely didn't know what to do.

He kept going until he reached the Lucky cat Café. The outside was completely covered in lines of Christmas lights. In front of the door was a red bowl set up for charity.

Walking in, he found that the inside was no less festive. The number of lights inside were double the amount outside. The place was packed full of people who had come in to get away from the snow and have a nice warm drink. The air wreaked of cinnamon, gingerbread, and eggnog. In the corner was a Christmas tree that was slightly too big to fit, the tip of the star on top poking into the ceiling. The menu had been rewritten in festive green and red and several holiday exclusive items were circled on it.

Cass came from out of the back wearing a bright red Santa hat on her head and holding a tray of hot chocolates in red mugs. Once she saw Hiccup she immediately ran over to him.

"Hey Hiccup. Glad you're here, there's a huge crowed." She glared up at the stares and yelled. "AND IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE HELP DOWN HERE HIRO!"

"I'M NOT COMING DOWN LIKE THIS!" Hiro yelled down.

"THAN I GUESS A CERTAIN SOMEONE ISN"T GOING TO GET THOSE NEW SERVOS HE ASKED FOR!"

There was a pause before Hiro groaned loudly and came down the stairs wearing a green elf suit with a green elf hat, green pointed belled elf shoes, fake pointy ears, and green and red striped stockings on his legs. His happy outfit was marred by the very unhappy look on his face.

Behind him, Baymax waddled down wearing a Santa suit, Santa hat, and a beard duct taped to his face.

Hiccup put his hand over his mouth trying futilely to hide his laughter.

Hiro glared at him. "Not. One. Word." He growled.

Hiccup snorted into his palm. "Of course not." He pulled out his phone and quickly snapped a picture of Hiro. Before he could stop him, he immediately sent it to Gogo with the caption MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Cass beckoned Hiro down. "Come on. You look adorable."

"I look like a total loser." Hiccup moaned as he came down the last step.

"No, you look great, really. I bet Santa's all ready for you to help out with making toys" Hiccup snickered.

Hiro gave him the evil eye. "Well, I'll have to do that after asking about where you got that nice sweater."

Hiccup looked down, having forgotten he was wearing it. "Yeah, I got it from Honey. She made one for everyone in the lab. She might have one for you too."

"I'm good." Hiro said testily. He went to take the tray from Cass.

Baymax walked over to Hiccup. "Hello Hiccup. And merry Christmas. I have been told that this is a customary greeting at this time of year, despite it not yet being Christmas day."

Hiccup smiled. "Thanks Baymax."

"My scanners indicate that you have lower than average neurotransmitter activity and a slight increase in melatonin. Diagnosis: You are sad."

Hearing that, Cass looked at him worriedly. "What's the matter?"

Hiccup was about to answer but then heard a number of people call out for service. He told her. "I'll tell you later." And they went to go serve the customers.

The work was good. It kept him distracted and took his mind off of his problems. He even managed to crack a grin after a customer asked Hiro to pose with her child for a photo. Seeing him stand stonily in an elf costume with that kid felt like an early Christmas present. Unfortunately, Cass remembered and made sure to question him during dinner.

"So what had you upset earlier?" She asked.

Hiccup, having nearly forgotten about the conversation and with a mouthful of katsu don, simply blinked in confusion.

"Baymax scanned you and said you were sad. How come?" She explained.

Now realizing what she was talking about, Hiccup regretfully swallowed his mouthful of chicken, rice, and sauce, and replied. "Eh, me and Gogo got into an argument and now she's upset."

"Argument about what?" Hiro asked.

"Well, I was going to use tomorrow to finish off Gogo's gift so I told her I was going Christmas shopping. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that Christmas eve was considered a romantic holiday in the city and she got angry and baled on me."

Hiro snorted, his face covered in rice." Sounds like you screwed u-OWWW!" He rubbed the spot where Cass had smacked him on the head.

She glared sternly at him and said. "Don't use that kind of language." Then she turned to Hiccup. "And you! How could you tell her you couldn't be with her on Christmas Eve?"

"I didn't realize it was such a big deal!" Hiccup argued. "Most people usually use Christmas Day as an excuse to go out and do romantic stuff!"

Cass looked at him doubtfully. "Really? You told you had a girlfriend before Gogo, didn't she ever want to do something on Christmas Eve?"

"No" Hiccup said, absentmindedly stirring his katsudon. "Honestly, Astrid was more into preparing for holidays. Setting up Christmas lights, decorating the tree, wrapping presents. By the time we we're done all that, we had spent more than enough time together."

"Well you still should've thought of Gogo wanting to do something." Cass pointed out. "Look, this is your first holiday together as a couple. Are you really telling me you don't want to spend as much time with her as possible?"

"Of course I do, I just…..I just wanted to make something special for her. To show her how much she means to me." He sank sadly back into his chair. "I wanted what I gave her to be really special."

"Oh Hiccup, that's so sweet. But don't just focus on what you can give her. Think about what you can do with her too. After all, she knows you love her."

Hiccup knew she was right. Finishing his gift for her might have been important, but he knew he would still miss the time they could have together. Even with his minimal relationship experience, he knew how important Christmas could be.

And he was going to spend it with the woman he loved.

Gogo awoke the next morning still feeling disgruntled from last night. She tried to focus on her usual morning routine of making a cup of coffee with her busted up coffee maker and getting dressed for her morning run and not on the cold feeling of waking up alone instead of with Hiccup next to her or sucking down a mug of brown coffee sludge instead of going out to breakfast with her boyfriend.

She knew her scene last night was stupid. Hiccup had made other arrangements and if he couldn't go, he couldn't go. It wasn't like he was missing out on spending Christmas eve together by choice.

And she hated how sappy she was being. All down in the dumps just because she couldn't spend the day before Christmas with him.

"Get a grip." She whispered to herself. "Plenty of couples can't spend Christmas eve together. It's not the end of the world."

But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help but think of the Christmas's of her youth she'd spend with her family. Couples snuggled all warmly on the couches holding mugs of hot chocolate. Tender kisses shared under the mistletoe. Heartfelt gifts that were thoughtfully picked out traded between lovers. In her childhood she'd considered it all too mushy and figured she'd never want to do any of that romantic junk with someone. Now the fact that she couldn't do any of those things with Hiccup was making her feel like someone was squeezing her heart.

"Auugghhh!" Gogo roared, clenching her fists and her cheeks burning red. "What is wrong with me!?"

"I'm guessing you're still upset about hiccup?"

Gogo turned around and saw Honey, still in her pajamas, looking at her worriedly.

"No." Gogo lied, her face still flush.

Honey Lemon stepped closer to her and give her an encouraging smile. "It's okay to be upset that you can't be together today. I know I'd be upset if I couldn't do something with Fred."

Gogo raised her eyebrow bemusedly. "Let me guess, you two going superhero Christmas Caroling?"

"And baking big hero cookies for the little ones!" Honey squealed. "You're welcome to join us."

Gogo cringed. The only thing more depressing than spending Christmas alone was acting as a third wheel to Honey and Fred. Especially if Fred brought more of that nightmare concoction he called eggnog.

"I'll pass." Gogo said. She slipped on her boots and went to the door. She turned back and said. "I'm going for a jog."

"Why do you still do that during the winter?" Honey asked.

Gogo shrugged. "Keeps me warm." And went out.

Trudging through the layers of snow that had accumulated over the night, Gogo headed for the stop sign at the end of the street, the combination of her jacket and the friction she was creating keeping her warm.

She was so focused on her run, she just barely heard the sound of her voice being called.

"GOGO!"

She turned around just in time to see Hiccup coming towards her until he tripped and feel face first first into the snow.

She ran back to him and helped pull him up, brushing snow off his jacket sleeves. "What are you doing here!"

Hiccup huffed, his breaths showing up in the cold air. "I lied." He blurted out.

"W-what?"

"I lied. I don't really have to go shopping, That was just something I said because I wanted to finish making a present for you and I didn't want you to find out but I realized how stupid it was to focus so much on that when all I really wanted was to be with you." He said, all in one breath.

Gogo stared at him, not sure how to respond to that, before asking. "Why do you look so tired?"

Hiccup smiled and started digging through his satchel. "Because, I stayed up all night and downed enough caffeine to kill a small house in to make you...this!" From his satchel, Hiccup withdrew a slim black box.

Gogo took it and pulled the top off. Inside, sitting on a bed of crushed velvet was a locket on a small chain. She took it out and opened the locket. Two pictures were set inside the locket, one was of Hiccup bent down next to her bike, examining it closely. The other was one of her in a a white and red sleeveless shirt with a red 6 on the chest and red and white shorts. She was dowsed in sweat and raising her fist triumphantly in the air after winning the San Fransokyo marathon. Hiccup always said it was his favorite picture of her.

She looked up at Hiccup who was rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I know it's not as good as it could be. I wanted the chain to be longer so you could wear it around your neck and for it to play a little tune when you opened the locket-." He was cut off by her giving him a nice warm hug he quickly leaned into.

She let him go and said. "It's perfect dork." She slid the chain around her wrist. "See? Now it's a kickass bracelet."

Hiccup smiled and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Thanks. So, Since it's the day before Christmas I couldn't really arrange something fancy, so I was thinking maybe we could go for breakfast at Cass's hang out for most of the day, get some lunch at noodle burger, go see the tree light up and then go back to your place?"

Gogo grinned. "That sounds great." Then her smile fell. "But, um..."

"What?"

"I'm not so fond of noodle burger ever since I was almost murdered by it's mascot."

"Oh, right." They stood in awkward silence before he said. "Yakl-taco?"

"Better." The two started walking down the street towards the Lucky Cat. They took a second to look at each other with adoration.

"Merry Christmas Gogo."

"Merry Christmas Hiccup."

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junker-town · 4 years

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6 winners from Week 13 of the NFL season

Joe Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports

Andy Dalton set a Bengals record. Derrius Guice showed he might just be the guy after all. The Texans? Also good.

Week 13 of the NFL season started with a Thanksgiving lineup of mostly drama-free contests. David Blough exceeded expectations but fulfilled his destiny as a Lions quarterback by losing a one-possession game to the Bears. The Cowboys continued a rich 2019 tradition of getting beaten by teams with winning records by eating a double-digit loss to the Bills. The Falcons, uh, tried.

That was a lead-in to all the action on the final day of the long weekend. The nation’s collective turkey (and alcohol) hangovers were soothed by a handful of big games. The early slate featured a possible Super Bowl preview between the 49ers and Ravens and a rivalry showdown between the Steelers and Browns. The late games were highlighted by games like Patriots-Texans and Chiefs-Raiders that had major postseason implications.

That left us with a wide slate of winners and losers, both on the scoreboard and in the locker room. Who stood out the most?

It wasn’t: the Jets, Panthers, or Eagles, who deserve nothing nice

The Jets handed the Bengals their first win of the season. That’s notable because it’s December. Carolina recovered an onside kick to take a stab at an unlikely 15-point comeback against Washington, then turned a first-and-goal situation with 40 seconds to play into zero points and a 29-21 loss. That’s notable because the Panthers held a 94 percent win probability in the first quarter.

The Eagles wasted a 28-14 lead in Miami to lose to a team that gave Patrick Laird (six career carries before Week 13) the majority of its rushes Sunday. That game was made even more gloriously weird and entertaining thanks to one of the greatest fake field goals our fragile world has ever known.

THE GOAT FAKE FIELD GOAL#PHIvsMIA #FinsUp pic.twitter.com/dAZJuTxUmQ

— Miami Dolphins (@MiamiDolphins) December 1, 2019

That, at least partially, was enough to convince Eagles head coach Doug Pederson the Dolphins are, in fact, good. The data doesn’t bear that out, but sure, Doug. That’s just as likely as my working theory that a bad team uprising took place to push the Giants to the top spot in the draft. That way, they can force New York into passing up Joe Burrow because the team’s already got Daniel Jones.

Now, on to ...

This week’s actual winners:

6. Jarvis Landry, who has gotten even better despite the presence of Odell Beckham Jr.

The Browns lost to the Steelers, relinquishing their edge in one of the AFC North’s oldest rivalries and losing the battle of sassy t-shirts along the way. Their offense regressed to Hue Jackson levels and their defense allowed Devlin Hodges to throw for 10.1 yards per pass.

That cold front froze out Beckham (three catches, 29 yards), but it failed to cool off Landry (6 catches, 76 yards). Though 12 games, the versatile wideout is on pace for an 87-catch, 1,225-yard, seven-touchdown season. The second number would be a career high, as would his 14.1 yards per catch.

Landry isn’t just putting up big numbers — he’s showcasing some of the game’s strongest hands and field awareness in the process:

holy crap, Jarvis Landry pic.twitter.com/StyWIFHAR7

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) December 1, 2019

That catch was originally ruled an incompletion, but a Freddie Kitchens challenge overturned it to give Cleveland new life in the Pittsburgh red zone. In true Browns fashion, the team lost yards and was forced to settle for a field goal. Even so, it was a statement proving Landry’s one of the league’s top wideouts, despite languishing on mediocre teams.

Beckham’s trade to Ohio seemed likely to cut into Landry’s production. Instead, he’s coming up with more catches on only slightly fewer targets per game (from 9.3 in 2018 down to 9.0). The Browns may be facing a lost season after falling to 5-7, but Landry has emerged as the kind of player who can change this franchise’s fortunes when he and Baker Mayfield — who played the second half with a badly bruised throwing hand and made Landry his security blanket — find their rhythm.

5. Aaron Rodgers, free play god

Green Bay faced third-and-goal back at the New York 17-yard line when Rodgers saw a disheveled Giants defense struggle to sub out its personnel. He used that opportunity to hurry the Packers to the line of scrimmage, induce a 12 men on the field penalty with a quick snap, and then delivered an absolute dart to Davante Adams on the free play.

Second TD of the day for #One7 ❄️ RETWEET to #ProBowlVote for @tae15adams! ❄️#GBvsNYG | #GoPackGo pic.twitter.com/G1WZ0Mrn5O

— Green Bay Packers (@packers) December 1, 2019

Suddenly, a dicey 17-13 lead was a two-possession game in the fourth quarter, effectively stomping out the Giants’ comeback hopes. The touchdown catch was Adams’ second of the day and 38th since 2016 — most in the NFL over that span despite missing seven games due to injury. He wasn’t the only Packers wideout to feast after Thanksgiving. Allen Lazard, undrafted in 2018, had his first career 100-yard game, needing just three catches to get to 103 yards Sunday.

Rodgers finished his day with four touchdowns — the 23rd time he’s hit or exceeded that number. That ties Brett Favre for fourth all-time when it comes to four-plus TD games in NFL history, behind only Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, and Tom Brady.

4. Ryan Fitzpatrick, who keeps quietly messing up the Dolphins’ tanking plan

Fitzpatrick started the day with an interception on his first pass of the afternoon and a quick 7-0 deficit. His next two drives centered around sacks and punts.

Then he woke up, and here’s what he did over the Dolphins’ final eight drives:

26 of 36 passing

358 passing yards

3 touchdowns

0 interceptions

a 131.5 passer rating

Miami scored five touchdowns and a field goal over its next seven possessions, stopped only by a kneeldown with six seconds left in the second quarter.

Fitzpatrick’s big day was a boon for DeVante Parker, who faces an uncertain 2020 since he has no guaranteed money remaining on his contract. Parker’s 159 receiving yards and two touchdowns were both career highs. More importantly, four of his targets created first downs or touchdowns in third- or fourth-down situations, including one brilliant scoring play:

.@DeVanteParker11, OH MY! #FinsUp : #PHIvsMIA on FOX : NFL app // Yahoo Sports app Watch free on mobile: https://t.co/uPnyeJSIAR pic.twitter.com/6eFfYXlP7G

— NFL (@NFL) December 1, 2019

The Dolphins are still bad. Fitzpatrick isn’t their quarterback of the future. But if you squint hard enough, you can see how they could be good again.

3. Derrius Guice, very much back (for the first time)

Guice has been effectively cursed over the course of his brief NFL career. The 2018 second-round pick missed his entire rookie season after tearing his ACL in his preseason debut. His 2019 started with a 10-carry, 18-yard performance in Week 1 that saw him land on injured reserve shortly afterward with a torn meniscus.

The former LSU star kept working. He returned in Week 11 and showed off a glimpse of his potential with a 45-yard touchdown catch in garbage time of a loss to the Jets. He outgained backfield-mate Adrian Peterson in a Week 12 win over the Lions.

And then, facing the Panthers and their 30th-ranked rushing defense, Guice finally got the breakout game for which he’d waited 19 months. One week after gaining 32 yards on 10 carries, he smashed through the Carolina defensive line for a career-high 129 yards on 10 more. That included a pair of touchdowns and a brutal stiff-arm that should have Shaq Thompson reconsidering his future in the league.

Great run from Derrius Guice here. Nice patience initially to allow the blocks to develop. Found the hole and then burst through it. Nasty stiff arm to run through the tackle and turn the run into a big gain #Redskins pic.twitter.com/VQltGkZZMT

— Mark Bullock (@MarkBullockNFL) December 1, 2019

The second-year tailback was instrumental in Washington’s third win of the season. He accounted for two-thirds of his team’s touchdowns and 38 percent of its total yards. Guice may have done it against a bad Panthers rushing defense, but he planted his flag as a playmaker who can be a major part of Washington’s rebuild.

2. Bradley Roby, who led a defensive effort that made Tom Brady look like crap

Brady’s 2019 has been a tale of decline, but he hasn’t been as bad as he was Sunday night in a long, long time. Midway through the third quarter, he looked like he’d been replaced with Brock Osweiler:

Brady’s final numbers — 326 yards and three touchdowns — failed to convey the absolute frustration he wore on his sleeve on the sideline:

'why don't YOU take out the trash, DAD' pic.twitter.com/H2zdc2BplW

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) December 2, 2019

How did the Texans make Brady act like a surly teenager on their home field? While the Patriots averaged more than three seconds of dropback time per pass, the six-time NFL champion struggled to find open targets downfield. That started with Roby, who picked off Brady twice (though one was called back due to a pretty blatant hold from Roby), sacked him once, and knocked down another pass in his return from a hamstring injury.

Roby signed with Houston on a one-year, $10 million deal aimed at restoring the value that made him a first-round draft pick in 2014. His big night against Brady — one whiffed tackle on a third-and-14 conversion for the Pats aside — was the latest turn in a solid 2019. He’s recorded as many interceptions as he’s had touchdowns allowed (one each) and has limited opposing QBs to a 71.5 passer rating and 50 percent completion rate in coverage.

That helped the Texans earn their first win over New England since 2010. Come 2020, it could be the key piece of evidence that lands him a multi-year contract.

His primetime performance was about more than making a statement about his place in the league, however:

Bradley Roby dedicated this game to his grandfather who passed away 'this is special to me. I take pride in being a game-changer'

— Aaron Wilson (@AaronWilson_NFL) December 2, 2019

1. Andy Dalton, Cincinnati savior

Dalton was benched midway through the Cincinnati season in favor of fourth-round rookie Ryan Finley. It happened on his birthday. It happened just hours before the trade deadline, effectively marooning him with the Bengals. It happened while he was tied for the franchise lead in touchdown passes.

Despite this amazing confluence of crappiness, Dalton remained a consummate professional. When Finley didn’t make his case as the team’s next franchise passer (zero wins, 47.1 completion rate, 62.1 passer rating in three games), the Bengals turned back to their long-tenured gunslinger in hopes of diverting their path from 0-16 and toward a much more respectable one- or two-win season.

Dalton was up for the challenge. The nine-year veteran brought the Jets’ three-game winning streak to a screeching halt, throwing for a cromulent 243 yards and one record-setting touchdown:

.@AndyDalton14 is now the @Bengals all-time leader in passing touchdowns! : #NYJvsCIN on CBS : NFL app // Yahoo Sports app Watch free on mobile: https://t.co/uPnyeJSIAR pic.twitter.com/tFJOFC28pq

— NFL (@NFL) December 1, 2019

While Dalton was completely acceptable in his return, Cincinnati’s first win of the season hinged on the swarming play of a charged-up defense. The Jets had scored 34 points in each of their last three games. They were held to six on Sunday as Sam Darnold needed 48 passes to throw for just 239 yards. New York’s running backs averaged just 3.5 yards per carry. Carlos Dunlap sacked Darnold three times and hit him six times total.

It was a lone triumph in a season marred by mistakes, but it was a big moment for what may be Dalton’s final victory wearing orange and black. Even better, it didn’t affect the Bengals’ place at the top of 2020’s prospective draft order. That’s a win/win.

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placetobenation · 6 years

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Hey-hey! It’s finally time to post up another PTB Power Rankings for the 2018 MLB Season. So, dust off those cleats, pull your bats out of storage, and find a glove that still fits because we are BACK and ready to, uh, well, rank 30 teams in opinionated order of performance.

Shit, well, it’s good to get back to it anyway.

Yes, Miggy, the first PTB MLB Power Rankings of the year are FINALLY out!

Editor’s note: Truly sorry about my lack of sports/baseball stuff, Nation. Grad school, unemployment, re-employment, and a lot of busy-ness at work have a way of sidetracking things. And once out of a habit, well, you know…

All records and stats are current as of Saturday, June 9, 2018.

1. New York Yankees (42-18) — The Bronx Bombers have won nine of their last 10, they’re playing .700 ball, and are the only team in MLB that has yet to lose 20 games. Ridiculous.

2. Boston Red Sox (44-21) — Personally, I find it quite boring when these two superpowers lead MLB. However, with the BoSox ripping up the league with 5.22 runs scored per game (second to the Yanks at 5.54), 600 team hits, 144 doubles, and 95 home runs, the offense is in *ahem* full swing. Solid support for Chris Sale (2.83 ERA), Rick Porcello (3.59), and David Price (4.00) and what has been a pretty good bullpen.

3. Houston Astros (41-25) — The defending champs are allowing the fewest runs in MLB (3.02 per game) while offensive core stalwarts Jose Altuve (142 OPS+), Carlos Correa (130 OPS+), Alex Bregman (136 OPS+), and George Springer 145 OPS+). Oh, and Justin Verlander (262 ERA+) and Gerrit Cole (176 OPS+) are posting best-ever seasons.

4. Seattle Mariners (40-24) — Listen, there are only four teams with 40+ wins to this point in the season (Milwaukee, see below, is at 39 as of this writing). The AL has all four them. The Mariners are probably the least likely to maintain, but, hey, those 40 are in the bank.

5. Milwaukee Brewers (39-25) — Raise your hand if you figured the Brewers posting the NL’s best record this far into the season. The offense has been alright (4.39 runs a game) as has the pitching overall (3.72 runs allowed), but that bullpen has been great (2.54 ERA). Josh Hader, in particular, is out-of-this-world. Getting ace Jimmy Nelson back soon could put the Brew Crew over the top.

6. Chicago Cubs (37-24) — Just half a game behind the Brewers, with six everyday batters posting OPS+ numbers over 100 (average). The bullpen features a whole bunch of sub-3 ERAs and Jon Lester (7-2, 2.22) has been great atop the rotation. While all those arms could regress, the solid showing at the plate from the Cubbies should keep them in the midst of October talk.

7. Washington Nationals (36-26) — The injuries have mounted for the Nats, but Max Scherzer has been healthy and continues his march towards Cooperstown. Teen phenom Juan Soto has been awesome in his 19-game introduction (.328/.435/.552) with a very promising 11-10 BB-to-K ratio.

8. Atlanta Braves (37-27) — The Bravos seem to have arrived a year ahead of schedule, but this team looks real good for a dynastic run, with Freddie Freeman (28), Ozzie Albies (21), Dansby Swanson (24), Ronald Acuna (20), and top hurlers Mike Foltynewicz (26) and Sean Newcomb (25) all well ahead of the curve.

9. Los Angeles Angels (37-28) — Mike Trout. We need to appreciate him more. Here’s his current line: .306/.439/.646, 1.085 OPS, 198 OPS+, 52 runs, 70 hits, 15 doubles, 19 homers, 13 steals (no caught stealings), 53-53 K-BB rate. And the dude is still only 26. Insane. Now, how the Halos hang around with Shohei Ohtani’s elbow woes remains in doubt, but the dominance of the Millville Meteor is of no question.

10. St. Louis Cardinals (35-27) — Only Jose Martinez (145 OPS+) and Tommy Pham (118) are really raking for the Redbirds, but strong starts from Miles Mikolas (2.27 ERA), Michael Wacha (2.47), and Carlos Martinez (1.83) are keeping the Cards alive in the Central and in the thick of things for a postseason spot.

This guy is really, really, really, amazingly good at baseball.

11. Philadelphia Phillies (32-30) — A week or so ago, these guys would rate much better, but the Phils have got 1-7 in June. The talent is there, but the next big test for rookie manager Gabe Kapler will be righting the ship.

12. Arizona Diamondbacks (34-29) — Remember back in April when Arizona was the toast of baseball with a 28-8 record? Yeah, well, going 14-21 since has certainly put that in the distant past. Of note, though, Paul Goldschmidt seems to waking up (13-for-20 with four homers over his last four games). It’s a thoroughly mediocre division to this point, so the winner of the NL West may well wind up being the team that takes best advantage of when its best players produce.

13. Cleveland Indians (33-29) — The lowest-rated division leaders here, the Tribe has played well at home (20-11) but been the pits away (13-18). While they’re still pretty odds-on to win the Central, that vaunted bullpen (worst in MLB with a 5.82 ERA) has a chance to torpedo anything beyond that. Of note, Cleveland could be the first team since 1920 to lead MLB in bullpen ERA one year (2.89 in 2017) and then finish dead-last the next.

14, 15, 16 (tie). Colorado Rockies, Los Angeles Dodgers, San Francisco Giants (32-32) — The Rockies’ regression was expected from last year, while the Dodgers have been hit by more injuries than a clown car at a demolition derby, and the Giants have managed to hang around via a great home record (19-11). With a little luck and health, any of these three could challenge for the division crown, or a wildcard berth.

17. Detroit Tigers (31-35) — They are not a good team, but also not as bad as once thought. While they should still look to trade guys like Shane Greene, Michael Fulmer, and a few others, this is a very fun team to watch when they are playing well. Ron Gardenhire deserves a lot of credit here. He won’t get many (any?) votes, but this is what a Manager of the Year looks like, folks.

18. Oakland Athletics (33-32) — Trevor Cahill. Blake Treinen. Matt Chapman. Matt Olson. Mark Canha. Raise your hand if you knew these were five members of the 2018 Oakland A’s and not the roster of some non-descript mid-90s boy band. Personally, I prefer Matty C. over Matt O. And that Trevor. He’s so good to his mother.

19. Minnesota Twins (27-34) — Injuries, starting with Ervin Santana in February, have not stopped dogging this team. It’d be a real shame if we don’t get to appreciate Byron Buxton fully because of his health. However, Eddie Rosario (.318/.355/.566) with 14 home runs has been a real breakout star for these erstwhile preseason darlings.

20. Pittsburgh Pirates (31-33) — The Pirates have a talent core of players. They have a gorgeous ballpark. They have a devoted fanbase. But they also have a shitty ownership group that refuses to give said fans what they want — a winner. The hard part should be developing your supporting cast, not paying for the top-tier talent.

21. Toronto Blue Jays (29-35) — Oh, well. That window sure closed in a hurry. A selloff could bring some much-needed youth ot the Jays, as well as adding intrigue to the wild-card races around the league.

22. San Diego Padres (30-36) — I can’t believe I’ve got them this high, either. Clearly, Eric Hosmer’s will-to-win-veteran-presence even affects mid-season rankings. In truth, the Friars have a great bullpen, which, if they wish to sell off, could bring in some depth to an already-well-liked farm system.

Hey Eddie! Yeah, you. Sorry about your team. But hey, great season so far, mate!

23. Tampa Bay Rays (29-34) — The “opener” trend seems like grasping at straws to be innovative, like Kevin Cash wants Michael Lewis to write a book about him or something. That said, despite a horrid start to the year, and a veritable Who’s That? roster, these guys are not all that bad. They are not good either. They are the bologna and cheese on white bread of the American League. Mustard optional.

24. New York Mets (27-34) — Well, they did the right thing by dumping C— Harvey, but this team is still just Mets-ing all over the place. Losers of eight straight, with whispers they might deal deGrom or Thor. I’m sure if those trades happen, this organization will find a way to Mets those up too.

25. Texas Rangers (27-40) — It’s nice to see National Treasure Bartolo Colon pitching well. He’s old and fat, so we should adore him. I guess. I’m actually a bit lost on his precise appeal.

26. Cincinnati Reds (22-43) — The mere fact that C— Harvey shares a team with Joey “The Last Angry Canadian” Votto, and Tucker “What A Great Last Name” Barnhart, boils my blood and causes me night sweats. Also, the pitching stinks.

27. Chicago White Sox (21-41) — Lucas Giolito lead the Pale Hose with four wins, but has a 7.08 ERA. Meanwhile, Jose Abreu (139 OPS+, team-high 24 doubles) is an island unto himself.

28. Kansas City Royals (22-43) — The Royals are giving up 5.52 runs per game. The Yankees have scored 5.54 runs per game. That’s right, folks! When the Royals are in town, it’s just like watching the Yankees!

29. Baltimore Orioles (19-44) — It’s pretty clear Buck Showalter doesn’t care anymore, does it? While we all know Manny Machado is great at baseball (166 OPS+) and will be traded, just gander at the awfulness of Chris Davis’s season (.152/.232/.232, four home runs, a 30 OPS+). It’s soooooooo gross!

30. Miami Marlins (23-41) — No, the Marlins are not last because of my spite over how they have been a joke forever, constantly screw over fans, and make a mockery of competition. No, it’s not because their current and former owners are emblematic of the excessive awfulness of capitalism . No, it’s not because they plead “process” over “results” whenever someone rightly gives them a second look. It’s because they suck. Last in runs scored per game (3.48) and tied for fifth-worst in runs allowed (5.14) should do.

And with that, we are back in the pink with our Power Rankings. I hope to bring you guys more MLB goodness throughout the rest of the year when time allows. Until then, it’s batter up and play ball!

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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junker-town · 5 years

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6 winners and 5 losers from the Odell Beckham Jr. trade

Congrats, Baker Mayfield. Take a bow, Jay Glazer. Free Saquon Barkley.

The Giants and Browns shocked the NFL world by agreeing to a trade of superstar receiver Odell Beckham Jr. The Browns sent back their 2019 first-round pick (No. 17 overall), one of their 2019 third-round picks, and safety Jabrill Peppers to the Giants.

Like any deal, there are parties involved that go beyond the individual pieces in the trade itself. Here are the winners and losers from the mega deal between the Giants and the Browns.

Winner: Baker Mayfield

Baker Mayfield has to be the biggest winner from this trade. The Browns quarterback was sensational as a rookie, throwing for 27 touchdowns to 14 interceptions in 14 games last season. He went from uneven first-year signal caller to legitimate offensive rookie of the year candidate after putting up massive numbers following Hue Jackson’s firing and Freddie Kitchens’ promotion to interim offensive coordinator.

Now, Kitchens is the club’s full-time head coach, and Mayfield gets one of the top receivers in the game to play with — and he already had Jarvis Landry, David Njoku, Antonio Callaway, Rashard Higgins, Duke Johnson, and Nick Chubb. There is a ton of playmaking talent and from the looks of it, they’ll have the right guy throwing him the ball.

Judging by his reaction to the trade, Mayfield is understandably pumped too:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Baker Mayfield (@bakermayfield) on Mar 12, 2019 at 5:08pm PDT

Winner: Odell Beckham Jr.

Beckham doesn’t have to play with an aging Eli Manning anymore. To remind you how bad it’s gotten, just watch this throw from their Monday night game against the 49ers last season.

This was atrocious pic.twitter.com/jirrDrjtSD

— dean (@DeanlsReal) March 12, 2019

Beckham finished his 2018 season with a perfect passer rating after completing both of his gadget play passes for touchdowns. Manning had a rebound season that stands as his statistical best since 2015 — and he still had only the league’s 21st-best passer rating. That was enough for Beckham to publicly (and tamely) call out his quarterback last October in an ESPN interview with Josina Anderson.

Manning just turned 38 years old. Unless he gets on the TB12 plan, this situation isn’t going to get much better for him.

Loser: Saquon Barkley

Poor Saquon Barkley. Now that Beckham is headed to Cleveland, Barkley becomes the clear-cut No. 1 weapon for the Giants’ offense. There won’t be any big-time receiving threat to scare defenses from loading up the box, unless Sterling Shepard has an extreme breakout season in 2019.

Barkley had 352 total touches on offense in his rookie season. He did turn that into 2,028 total yards, 15 touchdowns, and the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year Award, but that was when he has sharing the field with Beckham for 12 games.

Now Barkley will be dealing with a depleted passing game while becoming a bigger piece of the offense. There’s no reason to think why he wont approach 400 total touches next season.

In the words of the great Steve Smith: “Ice up, son.”

Winner: Jarvis Landry

Jarvis Landry and Beckham have been friends for years, dating back to before they took the field together at LSU from 2011-13.

In high school, Odell Beckham Jr. told Jarvis Landry: “I want to be on the same team as you, I want to do some legendary things.” Now they’re teammates on the Browns! ( : @God_Son80) pic.twitter.com/KCdvZgadW8

— SB Nation (@SBNation) March 13, 2019

Beckham and Landry are reunited again now in Cleveland, where they’ll hope to pick up where they left off from their time in Baton Rouge — a reunion Landry’s been publicly hoping for for nearly a year.

Come to the @Browns reunite me with my brother @OBJ_3 #13 #80 https://t.co/EW4oJEkqgF

— Jarvis Juice Landry (@God_Son80) March 26, 2018

The move also reunites the playmaking, do-it-all duo with wide receivers coach Adam Henry, who served in that role with LSU from 2012 to 2014 and has been the Browns’ positional coach since 2018.

This will be the best situation that Landry has played in since he joined the NFL. He has bonafide No. 1 receiving option across from him for the first time and saw the upside that Mayfield can bring during the back half of last season.

Loser: Eli Manning

The good news for Manning: He’s got the starting job with the Giants and $23.2 million coming in 2019.

The bad news:

Giants wide receivers: 1. Sterling Shepard 2. Corey Coleman 3. Quadree Henderson 4. Jawill Davis 5. Alonzo Russell 6. Brittan Golden

— Mike Clay (@MikeClayNFL) March 13, 2019

The Giants are probably going to add some more weapons before the season starts. But it’s gonna be bad.

Loser: Whatever poor quarterback comes after Eli Manning

It’ll be interesting to see how the Giants handle having two first-round picks in the upcoming NFL Draft. Will they draft their future quarterback this year, or add two players that secure a foundation for a quarterback in the 2020 draft?

Either way, the Giants will have to add a successor at quarterback to eventually replace Manning. Playing with Beckham and Barkley would’ve made life easier for any young quarterback, but now Beckham is gone.

New York does have some pieces outside of Barkley in receiver Sterling Shepard, tight end Evan Engram, left guard Will Hernandez, and the recently acquired right guard Kevin Zeitler. But they don’t quite pack the same punch that Beckham did.

Winner: John Dorsey

In his time as general manager, John Dorsey has turned the Browns into a legitimate AFC contender. He’s ferociously attacking the window that Cleveland has with its rookie quarterback by trading for guys like Beckham and Olivier Vernon.

Now, the Browns arguably have the best roster in the AFC North and are poised to make a deep run into the playoffs. That’s not a bad turnaround for a team that was 0-16 in 2017 and 1-15 in 2016.

Browns safety Damarious Randall might’ve called it all along. A couple weeks ago, he tweeted:

John Dorsey lowkey a genius...

— Damarious Randall (@RandallTime) March 5, 2019

After the Beckham trade, he followed it up with:

John Dorsey is officially a genius...

— Damarious Randall (@RandallTime) March 13, 2019

Have to throw some love to Sashi Brown, too. He kind of set up the assets for all of this talent infusion to be possible.

Hats off to Dorsey. But Sashi deserves credit for originally acquiring assets Dorsey deployed to get OBJ, Denzel Ward, Nick Chubb and Demarious Randall. Also left him with Garrett, Ogunjobi, Njoku and Tretter https://t.co/MtYx6eNr6R

— Kevin Cole (@Cole_Kev) March 13, 2019

Loser: David Gettleman

When Gettleman was fired by the Panthers in July 2017, it was abrupt, surprising, and probably not undeserved. He’d already run Steve Smith, DeAngelo Williams, and Josh Norman out of town, and the Panthers fired him before he could screw up contract negotiations with Thomas Davis and Greg Olsen.

Sound familiar, Giants?

Just a couple months ago, he promised Beckham wasn’t going anywhere.

Gettleman: We didn’t sign Odell to trade him.

— New York Giants (@Giants) January 2, 2019

Before trading away Beckham, he shipped off Vernon to the Browns too. Meanwhile, New York is still going to be on the hook for a significant amount of both players’ paychecks.

As of now, Odell Beckham Jr. and Olivier Vernon are scheduled to count $32.5 million against the #Browns' salary cap in 2019, and $24 million against the #Giants' salary cap.

— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) March 13, 2019

On top of those two trades, the Giants allowed Landon Collins — their best defensive player — to walk in free agency.

And just like that, Gettleman scrubbed three of the best players from the roster for reasons that are hard to explain. Do the Giants actually have a plan? Because it sure doesn’t look like it.

If only the Giants had listened ...

I tried to tell u @Giants fans Dave was your problem but u laughed and called me bitter! Well welcome to the salt wagon jump on and let’s ride together lol

— DeAngelo Williams (@DeAngeloRB) March 13, 2019

Mean while dg in Gotham right Now.. pic.twitter.com/ROYhW8QA5G

— *Joshua R. Norman (@J_No24) March 13, 2019

Winner: the goddang Browns

Here are the Cliffs Notes for Cleveland’s offseason so far:

traded for Olivier Vernon

signed Sheldon Richardson

signed Kareem Hunt, which in a vacuum is a good, soulless move they absolutely did not need to make.

traded for Odell Beckham Jr.

Sure, Jabrill Peppers might turn into something special and losing a first-round pick hurts, but the Browns are cashing in their assets for veteran contributors and now, on paper, look like a real threat to win the AFC North. Mayfield is surrounded by weapons. The pass rush is going to be powerful inside and out. Every other team in the division is having issues:

The New AFC North@Browns - Added Odell Beckham, Olivier Vernon, Kareem Hunt & Sheldon Richardson@Ravens - Lost C.J. Mosley, Za’Darius Smith, John Brown, Terrell Suggs & Eric Weddle@Steelers - Lost Antonio Brown & Le’Veon Bell@Bengals - Re-signed Bobby Hart & C.J Uzomah

— NFL Research (@NFLResearch) March 13, 2019

Ever since the beer fridges unlocked in Cleveland last fall, it’s better getting better and better to be a Browns fan.

Loser: Breshad Perriman

Breshad Perriman verbally agreed to a one-year, $4 million deal with the Browns on Tuesday before the Beckham trade broke. That didn’t last long:

After trade for Odell Beckham Jr., Browns’ GM John Dorsey and agent Drew Rosenhaus mutually agreed to not to follow through on verbal agreement with WR Breshad Perriman, per @mortreport and me. Perriman now will sign a one-year, $4 million deal with Tampa Bay, per source.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) March 13, 2019

Beckham’s presence blocked Perriman’s potential ascension to a starting role — though he only started two of his 10 games with the club. Rather than take on a supporting role, the fifth-year pro — who has career totals of 59 catches on 126 targets for 916 yards — will try to fulfill his potential with the Bucs.

He’ll get the chance to fill DeSean Jackson’s vacated role in Tampa, but will that really be better than seeing absolutely zero double teams as the Browns’ third wideout option behind Landry and Beckham? Perriman could have shined in limited snaps and put together the kind of season that makes Washington throw a four-year, $40 million contract his way. Instead he’ll take his chances with Jameis Winston.

Winner: Jay Glazer

A month ago, The Athletic’s Glazer made a self-described “bold prediction” when he told his readers that he thought Beckham would be traded this offseason. Then everyone lost their damn minds so much that Glazer tweeted this poetically profane message to his, as Shakespeare would scribe, haterz:

For all you fucksticks who spewed shit at me, my kid, my mom, my mom’s kid, my kid’s mom, my head size, body size, intelligence, my mom’s intelligence all because I made a prediction about your team today save your ridiculous fuckin insults for shit that matters in life.

— Jay Glazer (@JayGlazer) February 14, 2019

Who’s laughing now, fucksticks?

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