#Each person heals differently

[dawn-the-rithmatist]

Obsessed with authors like Naomi Novik whose books always seem to say “no, fuck that, there is another way than cruelty, and we do have a choice to be decent, and not choosing it isn’t a burden but a cop out.”

Authors like Neil Gaiman whose books seem to say “we are all simply human, and that is so valuable. This world is worth more because we are in it, when we choose to notice and care”

Authors like Brandon Sanderson whose books say “We are all a little broken, and there is strength in not turning away from us, and there is pain in healing but there is also strength and hope.”

Seriously, these folks do more for my faith and hope in this life than any religion ever has. I don’t have the words to describe it yet but just. Warm cup of apple cider held close to the chest on cold autumn night?? That’s the best I got

#recommendations #does this count as a recommendation?? everyone should read their things if they get the chance. must recommend. there now it’s a red #dawn speaks #the sandman #where death goes from person to person and the episode is a celebration of life as much as it’s life’s end #good omens #where people literally look at Heaven and Hell and say ‘we’re good thanks. we like Human better than Good and Evil’ #the scholomance #where people see ‘for the greater good’ and say in response ‘do better’ #the stormlight archive #which is some kind of ode to pain and healing and the way that process holds something difficult but so so beautiful #I have read fanfiction that has perfectly captured the human condition #and watched children’s shows that spit in the face of all the ways we have chosen to hate each other #it just. it hits different okay. #anyways thanks to people who make things #because you reach people <3

[yellowocaballero]

Talk Shop Tuesday: what’s the most important thing to you when it comes to characterization?

[Sorry I am so behind on these I have been so fucking busy] CHARACTERIZATION I LOVE YOU SO. What a good question!!!!! I get compliments on my characterization a lot so I should probably think about this. Also @lazuliquetzal chime in if you want because you're just as good at this.

There's a lot of important things. The most important, I think, is that the character has consistent internal logic. It's like worldbuilding or magic. Their actions don't have to be objectively logical, but they do have to be consistent. The character has a framework for understanding the world, a way of perceiving the world and how it works, and an idea of how they think other people work. Everything that happens in their lives is filtered through that. They have to feel like a real person making real decisions, not an instrument of the plot.

Something I like to do is to make their greatest strength their greatest flaw. I think in writing there's no 'good' or 'bad' character traits - no virtues or sins. I think character traits are neutral, and that they can be used to good or bad effect. I think we do things because of other things that have happened to us, and that these things have positive and negative consequences.

Obviously a character has to have consistent motivations and to change over time. A character shouldn't end the story in the same place where they started. Character focused stories ought to have your characters change throughout the story - Sherlock Holmes doesn't have to have moments of character growth but your slice of life character definitely should. I think the setting around them really helps - giving them foils really helps develop and flesh out both characters.

I feel like that's all pretty basic notes though. For me and characters, there's way more to it than that. It's hard to explain. I think I can only ask that you make the plot and tropes fit the characters, not the characters fit the plot and tropes. Fanfic has a horrible habit of making characters one dimensional and stripping away a lot of nuance to fit in with different slots in relationship dynamic, roles in a team dynamic, or niches in an AU. The character should come first. And love of god if you make their personality seme or uke I will come find you with my yaoi baseball bat.

Oh and the best character-building exercise is to figure out if the character would ever be a cannibal or not and I am barely joking.

#i don't mean for characterization to be the most important thing in my stuff bc that's a weird thing to be important #and i do think characters should be in service of the plot #but the plot and characters should be in service to each other #idk and i think who i am as a person seeps into this #i like people a lot. i like meeting different kinds of people. #i like meeting people from every place of all walks of life of all identities and types #even people i dont like i think enrich my understanding of people as a whole #every person is so fascinating and has an entire internal world that we aren't privvy to #if we limit our world to ourselves then our life will stay small and provincial forever #a lot of my characters are based off people i know; or even different facets of myself #or they're a way of showcasing a theme or vein of emotion in life that i often confront or struggle with #many of my characters are parts of me I don't like or am ashamed of #so it's a bit healing to showcase their messiness as people; to show them growing; and to forgive them for that messiness #people are each other's greatest source of pain and only source of pleasure i think

[existencebringsonlypain]

why do you guys talk about tea theory as if it isn't... the clearly intended way for us to interpret the teas

#like #the teas are in the “flavor” of each person #they heal different amounts to each and everyone describes them as having different flavors #just like how everyone has different opinions and perceptions on everyone else #the teas heal more between people who have more connection/positivity towards heach other #like??? isn't that just the obvious way to interpret it??? #i only ever used noelle tea on kris on my first playthrough so i only got the decent healing factor from it #assumed that was it #but if i were to do otherwise i'm certain i'd have inferred pretty quickly #now how things like kris' tea on noelle can be interpreted‚ with the aftertaste #that's debatable. might be us‚ might just be past baggage #ralsei's on kris seems pretty clear-cut to me #they don't like him too much #not as much as susie at least #but either way you guys treat it as if it's not clearly what we're meant to think #nutdealer posting #tea theory #deltarune #dr #deltarune tea

[kuroshirosb]

pokemashe sinnoh trio relationship chart ft two joke ones

#pokemashe #dawn lyre #trainer dawn #lucas aquila #trainer lucas #barry cygnus #rival barry #scarfshipping #kind of #this is pre forming their polycule and theyre kind of sort of very different people by the time its actually formed #being forced to face your own creation at such a young age traumatizes you (on top of other stuff) #so of course they'll never be the same people they were at the end of the journey and the dynamic would change #they still would do incredibly destructive things for each other by the time they do form it though #theyre each others constant. theyve been through everything together. #without the other two just a single one is incomplete. and its vice versa #their relationship still has silliness to it though i promise #6 years later and boom theyre in kalos trying to research the life and death but also theyre on vacation for their first year anniversary #theyre horrifically in love with each other they talk with Serena about their partners with each other for like a second #and she's horrified at how head over heals a person could possibly be for their partners #(especially for dawn. she didn't seem the type at first to Serena but no she's just as bad as the other two.) #they still both pick on barry though but in a friendly way that friends do (but in this case lovers)

[upsidedowngrass]

im thinking abt liam and bryce SO much rn now. theyre dynamic is so. sorry liam. sorry bryce

#neither of them have done anything wrong and are simply two diff ppl w two diff personalities and two diff thought processes #responding to the same single event . that they didnt deserve to have to respond to but now they just Have To #and both of them regard the other w a sort of desperation around the events of s1 but in a different way #that they respond one way that contradicts how the other does #liam doesnt care what happens to himself but bryce doesnt want to lose everything #its very realistic and very tragic because they were both important for each other but the opposite of what each other wanted at all #bryce wanted to finally heal. from everything. and whether or not ignoring one was a healthy way to do so was irrelevant #he just wanted to finally heal #and liam just. he doesnt care about His Own Life. he just wants to do this One Thing at All Costs. and no one else can help him. #he wants to be known by someone. anyone really. because he cant do any of it alone but its all he knows to do now #and nothing else matters to him #the two are just. theyre so complicated and im emotional abt it #i thinka bt it a lot but i think a good way to put it is #wrt the trolley problem? liam would pull the lever. bryce wouldnt #anyway. that piece os soooo. thinks abt them forever #i think every combination of characters in one is extremely tragic #bc its normal ppl responding to a horrible situation they didnt deserve to be in but now have to respond to #and sometimes they conflict. sometimes they hurt another person when the intent was to help. sometimes its solace in the worst of ones life #but all of them are so. i think abt it a lot liam and bryce are just now the specific ones on my mind cus of my most recent rb

[belljarbehavior]

cassandra cain and damian wayne should be shown bonding more. They both had horrendous childhoods and they alone know what it's like to be trained to kill and see that as the only purpose of their lives for a long time. They alone completely understand that about each other.

Don't get me wrong i love dick grayson and damian's pseudo father figure and protector but he will never understand damian's kill or be killed childhood while cass does. she might also be the best to help damian truly understand how it effects him as he gets older. give me cass and damian sibling bonding moments please.

#people are saying i'm wrong #i'm NOT #cass and damian have different personalities yes #that doesn't mean they can't help each other #cass is also not completely healed but more so that damian are you kidding #stop being so literal goddamn #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batman #batfam

[kkoct-ik]

good morning ive been possessed by the spirit of 2022 and now i really want to start my cwilbur rewrite NOW

#i have a lecture in half an hour. #kostik speaks #i have very specific thoughts on ghostbur and cwilbur #that were never fully realised because wilbur (streamer) insisted on presenting them as separate entities that happened to share a face #(i know not Literally. but the fact ghostbur was exchanged for cwilbur is just bananas. boy thats the same fucking person) #which is lame and stupid and ignores basically everything about ghostburs character and their relationships to each other #pogtopia crimeboys is really very special to me from a trauma point of view (their relationship speaks to me) #and ghostbur in the aftermath of that is insane ! if theyd done it right #i wish i could write a slightly smaller story focusing on the narrative of . pogtopia crimeboys. wilburs suicide #and the interactions between the different wilburs and the people and the world around him #with him eventually reconciling and healing of course. also everyone around him healing their separate ways because christ #i maintain that i like how fundys arc finished. the people who grievously wronged you are not entitled to your time for their benefit #ugh i do feel like i should do research if i commit to the rewrite though and can i really stomach like 20 hours of wilbur and tommy streams #maybe i can avoid the research if i drop the dsmp and tell the story through my ocs who are Totally not wilbur or fundy or tommy or niki #oh well. ​wilbur and ghostbur are such a dissociative identity narrative and i will tell this story if its the last thing i do

[cryptidwizard]

i feel the turtle fixation creeping back up

#it’s all over when I think of ANOTHER post canon 2012 fic about the main 8 dealing with their emotions and being adults #i still have the angel/april meetcute when aprils 21 #i have a very small snippet of one where mikey moves out in a universe where mutants gain legal protections and his siblings have to #come to terms with mikey healing and being his own person and why they feel like they can’t do the same #newest one im kicking around is post canon mikey staying more and more at the mutanimals and raph and y’gthgba vaguely breaking up bc theyr #in rlly different places and she offers to take him back to space with her and he wants to so badly but he’s doesn’t know how to give #himself permission to do something for himself and leave his siblings #basically just a bunch of the turtles searching for space from each other and not really getting it bc they’re so entangled in each other’s #lives and trying to expand their social groups when for so long it’s just been them against the world #the april/angel one is the longest by far #god. so many tags wtf happened #in my mind the 2012 gang will always come back together but they deserve time to figure out who they are when they aren’t in constant danger

[commsroom]

i know it’s a popular idea, but i don’t think i can ever really be on board with the idea of lovelace having some big post-canon revenge tour. like, i can appreciate the catharsis of a good revenge narrative in other contexts, don’t get me wrong, but given the themes of wolf 359 as a show, and particularly the values lovelace expresses in her own character arc, i can’t see it as anything other than a tragic regression into the exact type of person she chose not to become.

“the whole epic rampage of revenge thing? isabel lovelace wouldn't do that. the terrible wretch that you people made isabel lovelace into? oh, she'd do that. but... i’m not going to be that person anymore. i’m going to be isabel lovelace again. even if i never have before.”

twice near the end of s3 hilbert calls lovelace isabel, sees in her some shared experience and reflection of himself and his willingness to do whatever it takes, by any means necessary, but he fails to realize that what he recognizes is the result of trauma inflicted on her largely by him. hilbert is a constant reminder of what lovelace has lost and what’s been done to her, and in some sick way that makes him the last link to her past. they both die, and she comes back, and he doesn’t, and she decides to be isabel lovelace again. i don’t think that’s a coincidence.

wolf 359 as a show seems to believe in the futility of revenge - all of dirty work, “and then what? who pays for this? who owns up for this murder? and for the one after this one?” - and places its faith instead in the power of individuals to break cycles of violence and abuse. and i think that’s relevant to the wording of lovelace’s final lines in the show: “look up some old friends, take apart goddard futuristics brick by brick... maybe go to disneyland? but first, i’m going to take a long vacation, somewhere warm and quiet, where nobody has any idea who i am.”

lovelace feels a sense of duty in dismantling goddard and holding them to account, but it’s a world away from the all-consuming ire and drive for revenge “run and hide” contained. i think that’s where the focus should be. it’s not about hurting the people who hurt her, not anymore. it’s about preventing them from hurting anyone else. it’s a final act of love and closure for the people she couldn’t save, to say: i’m still here. i remember you. i’ll make sure your families know the truth. i’ll make sure they never hurt anyone else, ever again. i can’t bring you back, but your deaths won’t be in vain.

i think it’s important to emphasize that lovelace is NOT a violent person. she doesn’t want to be. she doesn’t enjoy it. whatever she may have been driven to by fear and trauma and desperation, she chooses to be isabel lovelace, and that’s not the person isabel lovelace is. i hope she does help take goddard down. structurally. brick by brick. and then i hope she lives a good, peaceful, happy life, in the memory of all her loved ones who couldn’t. like minkowski in boléro: “so that we never forget how important it is that we're still here.”

#wolf 359 #w359 #isabel lovelace #i hope this doesn't seem confrontational at all it's just. #something that's been on my mind for a long time #i have some other tangential thoughts that i might get into later about. revenge in wolf 359 and how the alternative to that #isn't exactly forgiveness #it's about. healing it's about choosing to end cycles of violence and trauma and saying. i won't let you hurt anyone else #and i won't enact hurt. no matter how much i want to or how much you may deserve it. because taking away the power to do hurt #matters more than retribution #and that does kind of tie in to wolf's overall stance on rehabilitative justice #and it's very human. that someone can be an irredeemable monster to one person and someone else's best friend #obviously to differing degrees of severity but. there's something to it. #i do think jacobi and lovelace could potentially parallel each other in a post-canon scenario but it's because they've both #been in that place of all-consuming desire for retribution and had to step back from it. in their own ways. #and they're kind of the outsiders in a way because they've both lost Their people. lovelace is closer to the others than jacobi by FAR but. #it's not the same. #also re: clones in wolf 359 and how they're on opposite sides of that. experience. #the tiamat logs suggest maybe each clone is a little bit different in subtle ways but i think it's worth considering that maybe #they are identical at the moment of creation and the 'differences' the aspects of them that are amplified are a result of #minute differences in their experiences and ways they're treated from that point forward #but that the potential for all of those things was the same in each of them #there's also something about the use of names in wolf 359 #especially how often Full Names are used as a way to assert identity #to say #no matter who you become. what version of yourself you cultivate. you are still Yourself and no one can take that away. #it's a choice. and there's something powerful in that. #anyway. getting away from myself here.

[wizardnaturalist]

I think pikelan is rly cute but I Also support the divorce bcs it's funny

#I also personally think it makes sense #pike and scanlan are friends they work well together they helped each other heal #but over time esp when they had finished adventuring they had different needs and priorities #it happens and I dont think its a bad thing. theyre still buddies #cr #vm #vox machina #pike trickfoot #scanlan shorthalt

[summerof336bc]

GOT TO SEE THE CHOSEN IN THE THEATER. IM OFFICIALLY INSANE

[id: a post banner that reads "i'm not christian (just mentally ill)". the background is Leonardo Di Vinci's "The Last Supper". end id]

#entries #IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. im sooo excited for the full release of s3 #i cried probably a grand total of 6 times. it was AMAZING!! #i loved the sermon on the mount montage..... #uhm. i really like judas!! hes funny #THE CONVO MATTHEW HAD WITH HIS PARENTS . SOBS. #when he talks about how hes always felt different. yeah....... #also andrews apology to mary made me cry.... #simon-peter & eden are so cute (CANNOT WAIT UNTIL SIMONS NAME CHANGE) #zee & matthews partnership will be! interesting im very excited for when they split up #THOMAS & RAMAH. ARE EVERYTHING TO ME. THEYRE ADORABLE OH MY GD!!! #what else....oh! gaius & atticus. rotating them in my mind. #atticus is...interesting. the way he lied to quintus! & hes being nice! whats up with that! #gaius' convo with matthew was so....let them hug already please #OH. little james & jesus' convo about him getting healed. i SOBBED. that was. #so deeply personal to me & i really REALLY liked that scene. it was. ough #lastly it was a bit fruity. why were judas & phillip on top of each other hmm nathaniel?? #john why did you say YOU'D marry thomas hmmmm???? #anyways. the chosen good. #chosen posting

[glittertimes]

My problem is that there is a very jaded smart part of me that isn’t surprised when ppl are awful and shitty this part of me fights back whenever I’m hurt.

But there’s also the naive caring part of me that just wants community and connection and I still don’t know how to be both at once so I can stand up for my boundaries but still be caring and understanding.

#like whenever I get out of a shitty situation where I had to stand up and be angry with ppl #I come back to this little version of me that is so open to connection and building new community again #and whenever I find that I’m just so excited to have ppl in my life again and I just care for them without fully questioning #if they’re good people to be investing in and when ppl start mistreating me I already care so much #even when I know I have to leave it kills me to do it #I’ve healed from this a thousand times at this point but it’s never any less heartbreaking or confusing #I just want nice friends who wouldn’t hurt me that I don’t have to cut off #obviously everyone is flawed and we all hurt each other but it’s different when people intentionally hurt you or don’t do enough to protect #you from harm #my parents were abusive growing up and I think what hurt more #was that all the ppl that could have or should have protected me like school teachers and other adults that were around me #that could tell something was wrong blamed me instead of supporting me #or trying to understand why I was acting out or why I was so quiet at times #maybe the reason I don’t know how to protect myself is I’ve never seen anyone else do it either #personal

[torgawl]

do you think part of the reason diluc still struggles with his resentment towards kaeya is because kaeya is more like what crepus wished diluc to be? crepus was so proud of diluc for his accomplishments as a knight and lived his dream through him as well and we know how much crepus' approval meant for diluc, more than any title or doing. i sometimes wonder if diluc feels hurt knowing that kaeya gets to live the equivalent to his past life as a knight as if nothing happened when he had to make sacrifices for his own peace of mind and sense of justice. i wonder if that's what pains him the most, not the fact kaeya ommited the truth about his past for so many years but having felt like he was the only one who cared to do something regarding his father's death and who showed any sense of uprightness when confronted with the knights' request to cover their mistake and negligence. i always think about how diluc might have felt like everything was a lie and his sense of betrayal. but maybe that didn't matter as much as having the support of his brother and someone he could share his pain with would have mattered. maybe the worst thing wasn't what kaeya did but what he didn't do; maybe it was never about his actions but the lack thereof.

#i just keep thinking about how lonely diluc must have felt #we know they kept in contact but it wasn't the same #but i also feel so much for kaeya who must have been deeply worried all the time diluc spent away all the times his letters were unanswered #do you think kaeya checked diluc's vision frequently to see if it ever faultered? #my heart clenches whenever i think about them #as much as i love to dwell on the angst of their relationship i feel so happy to see an accurate representation of what healing is like #and the usage of time as a way of storytelling #how it's a slow process and how you get there little by little #how conflicting it is #you have diluc's simultaneously passionate/fierce and stoic personality vs his more vulnerable anonymous messaged in cat's tail board #he admits it pains him and he reminisces of the past yet it's so easy to get angry and it's so easy to build up walls #and then you have kaeya who comes across as confident charming laid-back but who's so hard to read #there's a sadness in him even though he's mostly well resolved #you wonder if some of his diligence is actually his or compensation for his guilt #i just really enjoy them both and how different they are yet so similar #how they are both deeply lonely how they draw a line at anyone putting people at risk #they're not my favourite characters by chance i really think they're extremely well characterised and i think they're easy to relate to #and even though kaeya uses the term anti-hero with attitude problems to describe himself they're both genuinely kind hearted people #they're both warm in their own way #and i hope they hug one day i hope by the end of this stupid game that they get to properly be in each others lives again #the way kaeya called diluc his brother in his hangouts warmed my heart a lot i'm just so glad despite everything they're still able to keep #the other around even if diluc is a silly grumpy guy the fact they dined together like the old times already means something too #my boys <3 #sometimes i want to hit diluc because it's him who pushes kaeya away the most but i also understand that the process of getting ready to #fully let go of his struggles and forgive kaeya takes time #i'm simultaneously hitting him with a cardboard tube and giving him a big big hug #i still think they should be put in the get along t-shirt though 😂 i think that's what they're lacking that would work for sure

[ipatrichor]

mask without sim, aka what happens when your soul is split and the part of you that has an anxiety disorder is stolen and you no longer have access to the memories and emotions that shaped you into who you were

#my art #oc art #dnd oc art #roommate dnd #im only posting this here bc my roommates dont know my tumblr JDFBDH #just til next week's session when they find out how it affected my character #bc we ended on the dramatic escape and so the characters havent been able to cool down and check on each other yet #anyway. cue me trying to figure out if my dnd character is legally plural now. #like... if you're forcibly split into two consciousnesses #one of you the person who hid by trying to become someone else and the other the persona that you tried to become #and you weren't separate people before but you're definitely separate now because one got stolen #idk man it's pretty complicated skfbdj #anyway. dont be fooled into thinking that mask looks happier than sim. #i mean it thinks it is but shit's close to the difference between repressed trauma and remembered trauma. #mask is still affected by its trauma it just doesn't remember. forgetting isnt healing #sim thimble

[boiled-dennis]

dennis finally sorta acknowledges his attraction to men and starts a relationship with this random guy using a Dennis’ Relationship Standards Checklist he created that the guy has to sign. his bpd makes him deeply attached + really vulnerable way too soon without realising it, and he starts talking about himself, but the guy is really weird and says stuff in response like “y’know, i always had an interest in psychopaths.” dennis feels uneasy about it way too late and the guy ends up ghosting him because he isnt living up to the expectations he had of being with A Crazy Person (the whole situation backed dennis into a corner and really changed his demeanour), and a month later the guy is at paddy’s and dennis yells at him to fuck off, but then dee shows up and is like “why are you yelling at my boyfriend??” fully aware that dennis had a relationship with him, but not knowing any details

#this isn't from personal experience or anything. . . #bpd dennis #i do really enjoy the idea of dennis truly thinking he wants to be seen as scary and similar to serial killers- #but the second someone else puts him in that box it makes him feel trapped and like people treat him like he's a zoo animal #i want to see more vulnerability from him but in ways where he's forced out of all the personas he has put on in order to feel safe #not in any healthy or healing kinda way. just like . #agh its hard to put into words #like how he opened up in the gang gets romantic only because the gang kept thinking an incorrect thing about him #i want to see dennis get tired of it all #i want to see the gang as a whole get kinda. tired of it eventually and theyre like. damn i want things to be slightly different #i wouldnt mind if the show ended on a weirdly low note that left everyone feeling unsatisfied and strange #people i know hate discussing media with me because i love shitty endings without closure shdjkfhsdk #(when i say shitty i dont mean an ending that was rushed or not thought through) #i think a lot about how he would feel like he cannot apply the dennis system to men and just generally be so out of his comfort zone #i want to see him be more awkward again and not know how to speak or stand because he doesn't have complete control #evil autism headcanon: the dennis system is an extension of his tendency toward scripting because he needs a preexisting path in social si #situations #and if he doesnt have an idea in his head of how he's supposed to act in each scenario he just shuts down #i'm saying that jokingly but i think it would be funny if a hypothetical person tried to fully excuse everything because His Autistic Traits #but i think dennis scripting is real #episode ideas

[rotisseries]

it's so funny to see posts where people call catradora toxic, even if they mean it as a compliment, like "oh we love toxic lesbians!!" because they're just. they're just not toxic though. like objectively. sorry to disappoint

#like. when they get together they've gone through a bunch of character development to overcome their personal flaws #and their mental health is way better than it was at the beginning and it's CLEAR when they get together that they've reached a point #where they're mutually beneficial for each other and lift each other up and help each other heal- #and that's like. not toxic lmao. #like when you say toxic couple I'm thinking enabling each other’s bad qualities and being codependent as hell while doing it #and like. the shit they pull while enemies can be bad but it doesn't qualify them for toxic couple or anything #like toxic relationship implies something different from just being enemies with a history #and by the time they're dating THEY AREN'T LIKE THAT ANYMORE #like this isn't bad it's just funny lmao “whoo catradora toxic lesbians!!” is the toxicity in the room with us rn?