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milothebastardman · 7 years

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for the radmond prompt request, how about Rad having dinner with the boxmore family?

(yes I love family dinners Anon good choice)

In retrospect, this was a truly terrible idea. Raymond knew how important it was to have your lover meet the family at dinner, knew how significant a moment it was in the relationship, and so he arranged a family dinner on a night when everyone was free. Of course, that was easier said than done with all the conflicting schedules. As much as Rad didn’t like having to work, he really liked having food to eat and warm water to shower with, so he was always up for an extra shift at the bodega.

Lord Boxman was always busy scheming on his next evil plan, carrying out his current evil plan, and then either celebrating the success of the plan or recuperating from a loss. Shannon and Darrel were always caught up in the plans, so if Lord Boxman was busy, then so were they. Raymond was really the only one in the Boxmore family who had a semi-clear schedule, seeing as he was only occasionally involved in evil schemes. Finally, though, he managed to get everyone sitting down in the dining room at the same time. That should’ve been the hardest part, but of course, the universe felt otherwise.

Shannon was in the worst mood possible for this sort of thing, a constant stream of biting sarcasm flying past her lips whenever Rad so much as breathed. Darrel… Well, he was Darrel. He wasn’t being mean or anything, he just wouldn’t stop talking about his sailor costume. For the most part, Rad was able to take it all in stride. He ignored Shannon and even gave Darrel a few sincere compliments on his outfit. It probably made his day, no, his whole week! Lord Boxman was uncharacteristically quiet, only speaking when he felt it was necessary to do so.

It wasn’t very often that he got to see his children interacting with a fully organic individual in such a positive manner. Well, it was positive for the most part. Shannon was still being incredibly rude to their guest, and maybe Lord Boxman should’ve intervened, but… It was so interesting to just watch it all unfold! Would Rad eventually get fed up with Shannon and start a fight? Would he just keep ignoring her? It was like a really cheesy soap opera, but without any commercials!

“Dude, you gotta let me make you something else to wear. The whole sailor thing is like, cute and stuff, but I bet you’d get all the ladies if you had a beanie or something!”, Rad exclaimed, really getting into his conversation with Darrel. The robot gasped, clapping his hands to his cheeks at the idea.

“You’d make me a hat?”, he whispered, making a sound that indicated he would either start crying or start laughing at the offer. Suddenly Rad was being squeezed into a very tight hug with Darrel, his face turning purple as he realized just how much he loved sweet, sweet oxygen. “Daaaad, Rad’s gonna make me a cool hat!”, he cheered, letting Rad go just as black spots began dancing in his vision. Raymond had to stifle a snort, a grin spreading across his face as Darrel began listing off every single one of his favorite colors and patterns.

Hint: There’s about two dozen of them.

“Oh puh-lease. As if someone like Rad could put in enough effort to make anything of value.”, Shannon spat out, rolling her eyes at her older brother’s immature antics. “Ugh, I’m surprised he even came. He’s such a lazy loser!”, she added, earning an eye roll from everyone besides Darrel. He was now writing down a list of all his favorite colors and patterns since he knew Rad didn’t have quite the memory that his robot family did, so he didn’t really give Shannon any attention.

“I’ll have you know that I’m efficiently lazy, not a lazy loser, thank you very much!”, Rad retorted, crossing his arms. Out of all the things for him to take offense to, it was over how lazy he was? Raymond shook his head as the two got into it, running a hand through his gelled hair in an attempt to stay calm. It was going to be a very long night…

~A few hours later~

The two walked back to Rad’s place in a comfortable silence, only the sound of an occasional giggle breaking through their tired haze. Darrel’s list had somehow managed to stay safe inside Rad’s pocket, but the rest of his pants hadn’t fared so well. His normal pink pants had been burnt terribly by Shannon, so they’d been turned into a very classy pair of pink cut-off shorts. Oddly enough, it took Shannon burning his pants into shorts for a tentative friendship to begin. Being the little fashionista she was, she’d actually felt a little bad for messing up the pants.

She’d actually been the one to suggest he turn them into shorts instead of just tossing them out, insisting that a cut-off shirt would look even better with cut-off shorts. Raymond agreed readily with that statement, though he might be just the tiniest bit biased on the matter of Rad showing more skin. Still, the two finally stopped bickering and were able to find a common interest in knitting of all things. Lord Boxman had enjoyed the show the two put on and wondered if he could perhaps make an actual soap opera or sitcom out of their family shenanigans. At the very least, he figured it would make for an interesting children’s cartoon.

Darrel was still over the moon at the prospect of Rad making him a hat and was already figuring out different things he’d have to get to go with the hat. It had taken Raymond almost ten minutes to convince him that no, a leather jacket would not match well with a red and green beanie, especially if it was knitted. His fashion sense was… Very experimental, Raymond would say. Shannon would outright say it was god awful, and that Mr. Gar had better taste than her older brother did. Rad secretly disagreed, but he’d never be caught dead saying that. He liked having money and a place to live, thank you very much.

They two finally reached Rad’s apartment building and paused outside to get one last kiss. Raymond waited until his boyfriend made it into his room safely before he left, a dopey grin pulling at his lips. Okay, so plenty of things had gone wrong. Shannon was rude for most of the dinner, and even burned Rad’s pants. Darrel wouldn’t stop talking, and Lord Boxman wouldn’t talk at all. It had been awkward, painful, and exhausting.

Raymond was already planning the next dinner between them all.

#radmond #raymond #rad #radicles #ok ko #ok ko let's be heroes #fanfiction #anon

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newagesispage · 7 years

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NOVEMBER 2017

*****Bill Murray has been singing at Carnegie Hall promoting the new album with Jan Vogler and friends.

*****A beautiful eastern black rhino was born on October 2nd. There are only a few hundred left in Africa.

*****NASA just found 20 new habitable planets.

*****Loving , loving ,loving At Home with Amy Sedaris. Great guest stars and Von Mueller’s: The official maple syrup of the Third Reich and other humor of that ilk. It is like Pee Wees playhouse, Mister Rogers, Martha Stewart, local DIY shows, SNL and SCTV all rolled into one. Go Amy!!

*****The World Series did not include the Cubs. Astros V Dodgers.

*****The first African American full time Nascar driver since 1971, Darrell Wallace Jr. will drive for Richard Petty.

*****Some drunks at a wedding reception in Illinois jumped the fence at Wildlife Prairie Park to chase bison. The newlyweds had already left.

*****San Juan mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz called out Scary clown for his slow response to the Puerto Rico disaster.

*****Coming to Broadway this fall: The Cher Show!!

*****Robin Thede has a new show on BET called The Rundown.

*****So, Tim Allen was whining on Norm Macdonald’s program about Last Man Standing being cancelled. Allen said, ”There is nothing more dangerous to Hollywood than a funny likeable conservative.” What?? I could not even get thru one episode of that show. I think he was damn lucky that thing stayed on the air as long as it did. Friends and I were shocked whenever we would notice the show was still going.

***** Trump released demands to overhaul the green card system by hiring 10 thousand more immigration officers and more money to build the wall.

*****OJ Simpson is out of prison and his first meal was at McDonald’s. That is so fucking American.** Speaking of the arches: Mulan sauce.. that was a thing?

*****On the great new show White Famous, I believe I saw Jamie Foxx’s balls under that skirt!!

*****Stephen Colbert and Ted Danson share an ancestor. The same is true of Mary Steenburgen and William H. Macy.

*****Ines Rau, a French model is Playboys first transgender playmate.

*****Things sure exploded on The View because of the phone call Trump made about a fallen soldier. Rep. Frederica Wilson claims that he did not mention La David Johnson’s name and told his widow that he knew what he was getting into. **He seems to have no sensitivity but then we knew that. He is the Greg Stillson of 2017!

*****What a great couple of weeks on the late night shows. Thank you for Conan and his horse story on Colbert. Thanks for Paul and Dave and Biff on Kimmel. ** Kimmel’s son Billy is getting ready for a second surgery and there will be some guest hosts with Shaq, Dave Grohl, Channing Tatum and Jennifer Lawrence.

*****David S. Pumpkins now has an animated show and has really become a thing.

*****Dale Earnhardt Jr. and wife are having a baby.

*****It looks like the Czech Republic now elected a leader just like Trump in their choice of Andrej Babis.

*****Russian sanctions have still not been implemented and the deadline was October 1. Hey scary clown: Just signing the measure means nothing!!

*****Diane Lake, a young former member of Manson’s family wrote a book about letting go of Charlie. She promoted ‘One of the Family’ on Dr. Phil.

*****So.. It seems that the prototypes of the wall are near the Mexican border and it is drawing gawkers from across the border. So.. The wall to prevent illegals is actually drawing them to the site to check it out. Priceless.

*****Judas Priest is going on tour.

*****Mark Wahlberg hopes God will forgive him for Boogie Nights. C’mon own your fucking art.. You were lucky to be in suck a brilliant film.

*****Dave Letterman received his Mark Twain prize for American humor on October 22. He now claims, “I’m now the most humorous person in the world.”

*****East Peoria’s Joe Girardi is out as the NY Yankees manager.

*****Her it comes: The final season of Major Crimes.. This is a tough one, what quality acting there is on that show.

*****Days alert: It breaks my heart that they brought back Dr. Rolf back and immediately killed him off. At least he was in Abigail’s dream and boy was he hairy!!Please let him have a twin like on Night Court.** Why are characters heading to Memphis? Will they meet with someone who can help answer questions about Will Horton? Will Paul find out the truth before anyone else and will he keep it to himself? If Will is alive, is he the same person or has he went thru big changes? ** Rumors are out there that EJ could be headed back..fingers crossed.

*****Texas inmates donated $53,863 for hurricane Harvey relief.

*****Has Mueller filed his first charges in the Russia investigation?

*****Trump’s approach to Iran seems to be undoing all of Obama’s efforts. This, of course is the ultimate goal of the Trumpers so good news for them. Trumps use of the term ’Arabian gulf’ has helped to unify the diplomatic and revolutionary sides of the Islamic republic.

*****Too Funny to Fail takes on the subject of the failure of The Dana Carvey Show.

*****Robert Plant has a new album, ‘Carry Fire’ which he will support with a 2018 tour.

*****Congress did not reauthorize the healthcare program for kids so 9 million kids are booted off healthcare.

*****Bob’s Burgers did a great episode about brunch drunks. Oh that is such a thing!!

*****The new administration just loves pollution. Just one more thing to add to the ever growing list of climate change dismantling is Scott Pruitt helping to get rid of the clean power plan. I am sure their corporate polluter friends and Obama haters are pretty happy about that.

*****Scarlett Johansen and Colin Jost made their first public appearance as a couple at an SNL after party.

*****Word is that they have found Paul Revere’s outhouse and they are examining its contents.

*****I’m so glad that Curb is back!!! J.B. Smoove is killing it as usual.

*****Roman Polanski has a new film, ‘Based on a true story’ which stars his wife Emmanuelle Seigner.

*****Metamora High school in Illinois is reeling from a racist video put out by some members of the football team. The entire school system of Metamora which includes Riverview and Germantown hills was closed October 3 due to a mass shooting scare.

*****The newest Eastwood film is the 15:17 to Paris.

*****Facebook had to turn over about 3,000 ads for inspection. Facebook employees offered themselves up to the Trump and Clinton campaigns. Only Trump took them up on it. Google and Twitter also embedded themselves in his campaign. The staff used all they were taught to put bogus Hillary info out there and penetrate the rural vote. They pushed a lot of buttons with infrastructure in middle America. The platform churned out 50 to 60 thousand ads a day. By pinpointing the things you care about most , they seemed to use the trickery well because it worked.

*****They found the tomb of Santa in Turkey.

*****Nick Cage has his own candy bar in Japan.

*****Chris Elliott is on the Last man on earth. Thank you God!

*****The country talked about guns for a few days again after the Vegas shooting. No license or registration is needed in Vegas. Machine guns are perfectly legal. As saner people have mentioned: The GOP insists that the Vegas shooter’s gun arsenal is a right but medical treatment for his 500 + victims is merely a privelage. Well put Desirina Boskovich.** The American college of physicians says that gun violence is a public health issue and calls for banning automatic and semi -automatic weapons.** 78% of Americans don’t own guns.**Wayne LaPierre was on Face the Nation to reinforce that anti -gun people are elites. The only sane thing he said was that we need to enforce the laws we have in place better to start with.

*****Sen. Bob Corker is ranting about Trump and the ‘adult day care center’ we call the White house.

***** Oh my God.. Rick Springfield is on AHS. Whoa! Sometimes that show just amazes you with its direction. Hell yea.

*****Brett Ratner and Jared Leto will bring Hugh Hefner to the big screen.

*****Jedediah Bila has left the View and has been replaced by Meghan McCain.

*****Colin Kaepernick consulted a Navy seal about his peaceful protest. The Seal told him that he didn’t see a problem with the kneeling at the games. He found it more respectful than sitting. People seem very divided on this issue but this country has always disagreed on their version of patriotism. Wearing the flag s disrespectful, kneeling during our anthem is not. Perhaps the players should hold AR 15’s instead of taking a knee. Our President does not seem to have a problem with protesters showing up armed.**Pence made a big show of walking out of the game after the kneel. Only loves the team if they think as he does. It was an expensive stunt.

*****California has been experiencing the biggest wildfires in state history.

***** Hmm. I see a movie with Liam Neeson , Clint Eastwood and Kurt Russell.

***** The Pioneer Woman speaks of a granny named Inee.

*****So, I rarely watch Fallon but that Hillary show was awkward and special. The respect and beautiful words from the female writers and Miley brought tears.

*****Can’t wait to see Suburbicon.. looks fab!!

*****350 barrels of oil were spilled in the gulf of Mexico.

*****Reporters were arrested in St. Louis as they interviewed demonstrators. This is in violation of their first amendment.

*****Anti- abortion advocate Rep. Tim Murphy had a bad week as congress was trying to pass a bill that would ban and bring criminal charges against those who have abortions after 20 weeks. His mistress Shannon Edwards claims that he asked her to get an abortion but it turned out the pregnancy was just a scare. He now says that it is his staff who wrote the pro- life rhetoric he spewed. He has resigned.**Scary clown wants to broaden the rules to let more employees deny birth control coverage.

*****The Rolling Stones have 18 recordings pulled together for On Air. The collection of 1963- 1965 BBC show clips were never commercially released.

***** Harvey Weinstein? Secret employees? Everybody knew? WTF? Obviously we have some extreme self indulgence and mental health issues here. Why can’t powerful men control themselves? **Many of the liberal donations he made have been donated to charity.** The list keeps growing with thanks to Ronan Farrow and his exhaustive work in the story on The New Yorker. Weinstein’s wife has left him so he is in for some shit. ** More women are coming forward about other powerful men as well like R Kelly, Mark Helprin and James Toback.** When the movie is made of the Harvey scandal, I hope they cast Jeff Garland in the title role.**In the wake of the Weinstein tsunami there have been protests at public gatherings for other men with pasts .A retrospective for Roman Polanski did not turn out so well.

*****Meet the Press and the AFI are having film fest. Look for the film Heroin(e).

*****Paul Manafort and Rick Gates were indicted for hiding foreign bank accounts, money laundering, false statements, conspiracy against the U.S. just to name a few. There is now a viral video with the music from To Russia with love that shows Trump and various staff being taken in by the FBI. I teared up.. Could it happen??** George Papadopolous has pled guilty.

*****Kathy Griffin is slamming Harvey Levin and Andy Cohen. She claims that Levin was egging people on about her Trump head stunt. Her Mother in a retirement community and her sister dyeing of cancer were receiving death threats. Cohen who produced her ‘My life on the D-list” is taking over her New Year duties on CNN. Her claim about him is he often tried to get her do coke and he is generally an ass.

*****Actor Anthony Rapp claims Kevin Spacey was sexually aggressive with him when he was 14 and Spacey was in his 20’s. Kevin denied and apologized and came out.

***** You must check out Denis O’Hare as Edgar Allan Poe on PBS American Masters.

*****Corey Feldman wants to expose the pedophiles of Hollywood for 10 mil.

*****Does it bother anybody else that those on cooking shows never seem to use spatulas to scrape the bowl? They pour and move on.

*****Check out the Comedy Get Down with Cedric the Entertainer, Eddie Griffin, DL Hughley, Charlie Murphy and George Lopez.

*****Larry Flynt is offering 10m million for info leading to the impeachment of scary clown.

*****Ben Stiller takes on the 2015 prison escape of David Sweet and Richard Matt. The Showtime production will star Benecio Del Toro, Paul Dano and Patricia Arquette

*****Jemele Hill is back from her suspension form ESPN because of her tweets. Let the girl stand up for her beliefs.

*****Atlanta has voted to decriminalize weed, now if they can get the rest of Georgia on board!

***** So it seems the boy scouts are going to now admit girls.

*****It has been nice to see Charley Pride every now and again lately.

*****Hooray!! Jessica Tuck is on General Hospital.. Oh, How I have missed you Jessica Tuck.. Where have you been??

*****A report says that white nationalists are flocking to get their DNA tested to prove their white heritage with some mixed results. Of course they often find they have African ancestry or other blood they may not want to admit is running thru them. Duh!

*****Nellie (Cornell Iral Haynes Jr.) was arrested for rape on his tour bus at a Wal Mart.

*****Chicago pastor Robbie Wilkerson and his wife Tasha were sentenced to 37 months and 12 months respectively for defrauding a summer food program for impoverished kids.

*****The 207 Nobel Peace Prize has gone to Jacques Dubochet and Joachim Frank and Richard Henderson for developing cryo-electron microscopy for the high resolution structure determination of biomolecules in solution.

*****Steven Avery of Making a Murderer has been denied a new trial.

*****Roseanne Cash is getting some backlash for her comments. Cash wrote, ”The NRA funds domestic terrorism.” Her life has been filled with threats because of her views with smears like, ”your Dad would be ashamed of you.” Some ‘fans’ obviously did not understand her Father.

*****The White house thinks NBC should apologize after their report about Rex Tillerson threatening to resign after clashes with Trump. The scuttlebutt is that Pence intervened. Word is that Tillerson called Trump a fucking moron. Rex says he never considered leaving.

*****Senate intelligence can’t seem to get anywhere on the Trump dossier because everyone refuses to cooperate. The committee has reported they are still interviewing and going thru documents. The investigation is now in exploratory mode. They do know that Russia is currently active in meddling in our election process and our vote tallies were accurate. Republican members of the bipartisan panel are praising the Obama administration for their complete cooperation.

*****Marilyn Manson had to cancel 9 shows after being crushed by a stage prop!

*****R.I.P. Tom Petty, the victims of the Rt. 91 country music fest in Las Vegas, S.I. Newhouse Jr., Bunny Sigler, Ralphie May, Bob Schiller, Fats Domino, John F. Dunsworth, Robert Guillaume, Gord Downie, Richard Wilbur, Sima Wall, Jack Bannon and victims of the NY Halloween attack.

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junker-town · 7 years

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Deion Sanders’ NFL Combine was so amazing, people think he ran the 40 backwards in boots

Prime Time was an incredible athlete. He was not THAT incredible.

Deion Sanders is one of the greatest athletes we’ve ever seen. You know this already. He became one of the NFL’s few modern two-way players, once hit an MLB home run and scored an NFL touchdown in the same week, once attempted to play in games in both sports in the same day, and all that stuff.

His legend began well before he was an NFL Draft prospect, but everything he did in college or in the pros remains verifiable. It’s the stuff at the mysterious, pre-TV Combine that’s really taken on a life of its own, and Sanders (my favorite athlete ever) doesn’t seem to mind all that much.

1. He says he told the Giants, who were picking 10th, that interviewing him would be a waste of everyone’s time.

“It happened to be the Giants’ room. They set me down and gave me a thick book. This thing was thicker than a phone book,” he said on NFL Network during the last day of 2017’s Combine. “I said, ‘What’s this?’ They said, ‘This is our test that we give all the players.’ I said, ‘Excuse me, what pick do you have in the draft?’ They said, ‘10th.’ I said, ‘I’ll be gone before then. I’ll see y’all later.’ That’s a true story.”

If that happened, then Sanders was right. He went No. 5, behind three other future Hall of Famers.

2. That 40-yard dash of his, the thing you heard he did? He actually did it.

I’ve linked to this about 17 times this week, but that’s fine. From SI:

One of the greatest early combine stories came courtesy of Florida State’s Deion Sanders in 1989. There was talk pre-combine that Sanders wouldn’t run the 40 at all; he later said he would take his medicals, run his 40 and go home.

“Deion gets up to the line and runs his first 40 and everyone has him at 4.3. We figured he was done. He gets up and runs another one, and he runs even faster,” said Gettleman, then a scout for the Bills. “Some people had him at 4.25 [officially a 4.27]. And the funniest damn thing about it was he finishes the 40, continues to run, waves to everybody, goes right through the tunnel and we don’t see him again. We all got up and gave him a standing ovation because so many of those guys wouldn’t run.”

These days, it usually gets embellished by most re-tellers to include Deion not just running off the field, but running into a waiting limo that took him straight to the airport.

3. If you want to believe Sanders ran it even faster than that while wearing atypical shoes (more on this in a second), that’s not a problem for Deion.

From CBS:

Sanders long encouraged an urban legend that he rode up to the 1989 combine in a limo, jumped out and ran the 40 in 4.2-something seconds -- in street shoes. He insisted it was faster than Johnson.

That myth was exploded Thursday on live television when Sanders and former NFL team executive Charley Casserly revisited that moment in 1989. They are now teammates on NFL Network, but back then Casserly was with Washington and obviously kept precise records. He showed on TV the actual combine printout that showed Sanders’ two best times that day were 4.27 seconds, run in the usual combine garb, not counting Neon Deion’s standard gold jewelry of that time.

Sanders explained.

“I don’t even believe I stretched, you wanna know why? Because I never seen a Cheetah stretch before he go get his prey,” he said. “And I ran, I ran so fast I felt like I was floatin’ ... I felt like I was kinda coming off the ground ... and as I hit the finish line I could remember ... everybody was in disbelief. I just wanted the first person to say 4.2-something because I know 4.3 was not even in the factor.”

4. His performance is the legend that keeps generating its own sub-legends, thanks to the fuzzy records of the 1980s and his persona. Boots! Backwards!

Look at these suggested searches, which Google shows because lots of people look them up:

Google

Of all the legends associated with unseen NFL workouts — Bo Jackson’s 4.12! Rondel Menendez’s 4.19! Darrell Green evaporating into subatomic particles! — Sanders’ is the true story that already seems the most made-up and thus, once you find out it actually happened, the most fruitful for supplementary mythology. Look up any of those claims about Sanders running the 40 backwards and in boots, and you’ll find people who appear to believe them.

The backpedal one sort of became real-ish in 2013, when NFL Network’s Leon Sandcastle character (Sanders in disguise) nearly kept up with a forward-sprinting Rich Eisen ...

youtube

... but that was years after Sanders’ alleged superhuman backpedaling had already become a meme. And that’s clearly not in the 4s, though he’s hardly going all-out or in peak condition.

Neon Deion has never been opposed to self-promotion, from the time he helped orchestrate an FSU rap song to the time he made a rap album in the NFL to his many non-musical stunts to the time he claimed in his Hall of Fame acceptance speech that he wore gold jewelry in order to provide for his family.

Here’s what we all must do now: try to convince someone on the internet that Deion Sanders crabwalked a 4.11 in the 40-yard dash at the 1989 NFL Combine while wearing a ghillie suit and wind parachute. Please spread this good news. It will make Deion happy.

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