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wulfhalls · 1 year

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1/2 When you stop and realize that Billy’s entire relapse during Chicago wasn’t just about Camila threatening to leave him but really stemmed from him being forced for the first time to acknowledge what he’s spent everyday of the last three years fighting to bury and ignore: that he’s deeply in love with Daisy. Because the morning of the Chicago show he starts off his day in his Daisy love bubble openly expressing his desire to spend the next 20 years by her side writing together, fighting together, making art together, and everything inbetween. It’s Daisy that first forced him to acknowledge that they’re in love with each other and the bubble bursts, because she’s finally addressing the elephant in the room: that she’s in love with him and she wants more, she wants more than to just be his creative partner and artistic muse, she wants to be his partner in all ways. And you can see in that moment when she says it that Billy just…deflates because deep down he realizes that nothing will ever be the same again. He can’t have both Camila and Daisy by his side forever, it’s not fair to either woman. He’s finally being forced to see that. Which is why he gets desperate and says that even though he wants that too, but won’t leave Camila, he wants he and Daisy to stay trapped in this purgatory of their own making: sharing their deepest, most intimate, and raw feelings with one another but only thru their music, never actually feeling it in the “real world.” He’s clinging on to whatever bullshit rationalizations he can try and make to himself to hold onto Daisy at that point that I don’t think he even realized how much he shattered her heart by asking her “isn’t this enough?” Isn’t it enough for us to just stay here in purgatory with one another because I would rather suffer here with you everyday and never fully have you than ever be without you? It’s only when Camila confronts him in Chicago that Billy realizes he can’t have both Daisy and Camila in his life like this anymore. He lies to Camila’s face, several times. First he insists nothing at all is going on it’s just an “act” and then he lies to her again when he says he kissed her but it meant “nothing.” But Camila knows none of it is true, she knows what Billy isn’t strong enough to admit to himself: that he’s in love with Daisy. As Daisy did earlier in the day, Camila forces him to admit to not only himself but to her, and it’s so incredibly painful for Billy to do that not only can he refuse to lie and say that he doesn’t love Daisy, but he can’t even look Camila in the eye while doing so. Daisy showing up at that moment in the hallway was the final straw for Billy because in that moment he could no longer run away from the reality of their situation: here are both Camila and Daisy standing in front of him and he has to let one of them go. Camila tells him she’s done and leaves which triggers all of his abandonment and daddy issues, which is why in that moment I think it was easier for him to revert to his baseline of “I told her the truth that nothing happened and nothing ever will” even though he knows it’s a lie, because he’s still clinging onto his desire to keep everything as it was, he doesn’t want anything to change because once it does he will have to lose Daisy, as by his own words “she’s my wife…I’m never gonna leave her.” So in typical Billy fashion he callously and cruelly tells Daisy they will never be more than what they are now and goes after Camila, because maybe if he can fix this, fix them, he can try and get this sinking ship back on course. When Camila ignores his phone calls, and doesn’t show up to the show on time Billy breaks and fully gives into his addiction, if his world is going to implode then he wants it to implode with Daisy by his side, he wants them to be “broken together.” But what Billy fails to recognize in that moment is that it will never be enough for Daisy. She doesn’t want to be broken with him, she doesn’t want to be with him because his life imploded. She wants to be whole with him. Whole, healed, and complete together.

2/2 It’s one of the most devastating moments I’ve seen written on screen. I honestly think that of all the times Billy broke Daisy’s heart, and there were plenty, that this….this was the one that hurt her the most. (And is actually something I would love to see addressed if they did make a Season 2). Daisy’s refusal to spiral with Billy is what finally snaps him out of it, and when they head onto the stage for Look at Us Now, Billy already knows that it’s over, that he’s already lost Daisy. But he still can’t bring himself to walk away from her until she forces him too. Billy loved Daisy so much he was willing to live in hell everyday for the rest of his life, torturing them both by not being together, but not being willing to stay away from one another. Daisy loved him enough to realize that wasn’t enough and that she needed to walk away and let him go because they both deserved so much more than this. So much more than being stuck. And ultimately this was the real root of Billy’s relapse that day, having to finally walk away from the possibility of Daisy. As TJR says in the book “I realized that I had been holding on tightly to the possibility…the possibility of Daisy…and I was suddenly having a very hard time with letting that go, of saying never.” The show did such a good job of conveying this moment from the book because on the surface it seems that all of his turmoil is over losing Camila and his family, when really the root cause was Billy having to finally accept that he has to say goodbye to Daisy. As he knew deep down he wouldn’t leave Camila and that they would probably be able to recover from this. But losing Daisy? His heart would never fully recover from that.

u said in this essay I will and in this essay u DID. yall just giving me these beautifully written novel length takes for FREE.

#im just out here saying the most inconsequential shit ever and u guys are just serving insight understanding and coherence #ur all so sexi and smart #ur really doing all of that while im just divorce blogging we are not the same ur so much better its unrealsjdjdjd #daisybilly #daisy jones and the six #djats #that tweet that was like he was a mess and spiralling because his wife knew how much he wanted daisy all the goddamn time. yeah.jpeg #cant wait for s2 and camila in her skylar white esque era lets go polite courtesy and icy silences #i fucked eddie :D

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krshush · 9 months

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Hi, DA OC Brainrot continues bc it must be said, it's fucking hilarious that Elrevas volunteered to go to the Conclave in place of his sister, though he did so on account of her being too important to the clan. But also it's a little sad bc the Keeper told him to go and didn't send anyone w/him.

Hilarious because sis Rosha is a shapeshifter, she absolutely could have survived the trip to Ferelden. But also she's still a bit naive, a bit too brazen, and shapeshifting is a rare knowledge not passed on lightly for their clan.

A bit sad still because Elrevas knew he could make it all alone, knew his way around humans and their cities better than most anyone of the clan and knew that he was enough of a fuckup he may as well take the dangerous jobs. And knew the Keeper knew all that context TO send him instead of her precious First, the little sister Elrevas still wants to protect.

#this post brought to you by:#I thought abt after the clan settles into Wycome Rosha goes to visit Elrevas on her own. and shenanigans ensue #because Rosha is just Like That. she's sincere and bright-eyed and also. willing to cause some problems. some foolery #pair that attitude with smarts and shapeshifting and that's it. it's a comedy now until she puts on her Keeper Mode and then #then it's incredibly serious and you realize she's insightful while playing a fool #K.R. shush #DA Blogging #Inquisitor Elrevas #Rosha Lavellan

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morerawerbreath · 1 year

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w… why do you tw french…

combination making fun of tumblr, self deprecation because I deeply love french and the desire to get better at it constantly haunts me, and of course the unquellable shakespearean urge to clown on the french at every possible moment

#it’s not a real tw just a joke here on songofsecondapril.tumblr.edu #I spent 7 years learning french and i majored in translation and lived there for a while and worked a translator #but as a shakespeare actor please understand that making jokes about the french is like 90% of the job description #pls do not take me seriously I’m just playing in my enclosure and i forget other people sometimes stop in to watch with zero context #and if this is about hedgehog moss I love their blog!!!#and find what they have to say about french and english consistently insightful and smart and helpful <3 #anon

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fourfuckinghorsemen · 1 year

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choose : maths or physics

Yeah they are heavily inter-dependent but at the most abstract level

I couldn't pick one over the other.

#Physics uses math to find answers.#Math uses physics as inspiration and insight.#They're intertwined.#I couldn't navigate space-time without both.#Ask #Tua rp #Tua rp blog #ooc: my brain hurts im not smart help

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netsanju · 20 days

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crazydiscostu · 21 days

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RingConn Smart Ring

The emerging and vast universe of wearable technology continues to expand as the human race integrates it seamlessly into their day to day activities. From smartwatches to fitness trackers, these gadgets have become integral companions on our journey towards better health and wellness. Today we’re looking at one of those latest innovations – the RingConn Smart Ring, a sleek and sophisticated…

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icharchivist · 4 months

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I'm glad you think of us trying to bully you as a safe space <3

BUT I DO!!!!!!!!!

Bullying from anons warm and cozy, oh to be tormented by people who knows which buttons to press and use this knowledge specifically to make you flustered, happy, and feeling silly. what's not to like!!

But honestly tho, i almost mentioned in the other ask i got today about whether i'm okay with my blog becoming an ask blog like this, but then i didn't bc i thought it might be mean spirited, but now i'm right back on it-- is that one undeniable perk of the anon is that i actually check my dash far less now.

And while there will always be content i will miss seeing (especially information post about irl issues which i do think are important to be aware of, or good arts, or what people i like on here are up to), by god am i not missing reading negative petty fandom stuff.

Even things i agree with leave me with a major bad taste in my mouth because when it's all you see, it just ends up being like poison tainting everything else.

Being able to take a step back, mostly enjoying the things you enjoy, and having the negative stuff being something you discuss with yourself, is much more freeing at the end of the day.

So in the end just genuinely messing around, being silly, making fun HCs just because why the fuck not, is really so, so much more enjoyable to me.

Like, sure, i've been scarred beyond repair by some stuff shared here, but that's the price to pay -- but in the end since i'm having fun, what's not to like yaknow?

so like, i actually genuinely appreciate the anons, they do stop me from doomscrolling and spiraling on most day because everytime it pulls me back into some comfort zone, even if it's to terrorize me in it. Sometimes it can take a bit for me to go back to the headspace needed to answer the anons -- but i take that, everyday, over just reading negative stuff that just ends up leave me spiraling alone with my thoughts yaknow?

So, actually, thanks y'all for deciding to terrorize my inbox -- this is, without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to me 💞💞

#ichareply #ichasalty #anonymous #like the one key thing about it is that the person i was reading was a hater in ways i'm also a hater on some stuff #(+ a hater of something i actually like but in a way i understood but therefore made it worse)#so like. i was AGREEING with some it. or at least understanding the angle. the opinion was super insightful. also super depressing.#reading 2 years worth of someone's negative opinions on something that has goods and bads but therefore so much focus on the bads #it just... just leaves such a 'whats the point! what's the point!!' in my head that is so horrible #like. something something but i think socmed being so much about screaming into the void and all #means that thoughts lingers and echos without actually a place to resolve them #and you're left alone with them and overwhelmed as they accumulate #which will always be different from asks and discussions which are actually a back and forth yaknow?#and it's different to be part of the conversation than just reading after the fact #at the end of the day it's my bad for doomscrolling. i may not be smart.#but it's so easy to get caught into it especially when you agree because you want to hear more about this angle in particular #and before you know you went too deep and it's like ah. how do i get back to the surface again now.#it's good to address flaws in what you like... but i also think there's ways where it can become damaging especially when it's passively #ANYWAY IM JUST RAMBLING BUT AAAAAAARGHHHHHH #I LOVE YOU ALL THE ANONS IN MY ASKS. YOU MAKE RUNNING THIS BLOG WORTHWHILE. THANK YOU FOR DEEMING ME WORTH BULLYING ILYS

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star-anise · 5 months

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Everyone's got a take, and I've got a take too, about the current Internet Villain: James Somerton, a gay Youtuber who just got exposed (in the back half of a 4-hour video) as massively plagiarizing the work of LGBTQ+ media critics, historians, and memoirists, and then exposed in another 2-hour video as just making up the wildest nonsense about the topics he demonstrably had access to accurate information on.

He achieved a six-figure income on his work by squeezing money out of his audience with claims...

That only he was creating content that preserved queer history and elevated the voices and experiences of the LGBTQ+ community (a lie)

He was in serious financial distress and would have to go out of business if people didn't give him tons of money (a lie)

That he was going to use some of that cash to make definitely good and not-at-all-plagiarized independent movies, a thing he was definitely skilled and experienced enough to do (a lie), and

That those plagiarism allegations were incorrect,, and frankly,,,, hurtful and homophobic. (a GIANT lie)

Like, here's a visualization of the script of one of his videos, "Society and Queer Horror". The highlighted bits were lifted nearly verbatim from the works of others—the 18 authors identified at the time the exposé was posted—and presented as Somerton's own work.

So here's what drives me absolutely up the wall about this:

If he had just ADMITTED that it was the work of other people, THAT WOULD STILL BE COOL. If he had just said, up front, "We are going on a survey of thoughts and insights people have had about this topic", that would still be a good video with a real audience!

Like yes, he studied business in university, he might not have gotten the kinds of research skills and knowledge someone like Kaz Rowe uses to not just report on the history and analysis of others, but evaluate their relative validity and trustworthiness.

But honestly, since watching my niblings (oldest is 13) watch Youtube, I think you honestly can't underestimate the number of viewers who are really hungry for someone saying, "I don't understand this topic! Let's explore it together!"

But NOOOOOOO, Somerton didn't want to be just some schmuck waxing enthusiastic about homoeroticism on film and acknowledging the smartness of other people. He wanted to be HIM, MR. SMARTYBOY, very sophisticated and alluring and thoughtful and deep. Definitely an intellectual heavyweight who just happened to spout off his own personal ideas and analysis that put him at the forefront of all the scholarship on the topic he's come across.

I hate being wrong. Hate being wrong. But blogging for most of my life has forced me to confront constant textual evidence that two or ten or twenty years ago, I said some dumb-ass shit. Honestly, it'd probably keep me up at night sometimes even if I didn't have a written record. I absolutely understand the desire to scan the field, find the coolest people around, and quickly clothe yourself in as perfect an imitation of them as you can manage.

But if you want to be an artist or a scholar who produces something lasting, you can't prioritize coolness over truth all the time. To develop your true, independent voice, you need to find a time and place where it is just you and just the work you're doing, and you have pick up your tools and say, I don't know if I'm doing this right, but this is what feels right to me.

There are a lot of things in life to which we can only truly contribute our presence and our perspectives. Things we can only witness or hold space for. We cannot go back and bleed the pain out of history, or erase the complexity of another person's life. Not honestly, at least.

But those are the times that need our presence, our perspectives, our witness, and our space. When we gather round and tell sad tales about the death of kings, honesty can be the only thing you give that's worth a damn in the large scale of things.

If this dude had owned up to the truth and honestly showed the work of trying to piece together a queer understanding of the world, trying to draw the threads of culture together until he found a place he fit inside them, it would have been so much more valuable to our culture as a whole.

He probably made more money this way, though. While it lasted.

#staranise original #james somerton #plagiarism #lgbt discourse

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xoxoemynn · 1 month

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I came up with the idea for today's love fest over the weekend when I saw a lot of comments from people expressing sadness about the cancellation, and then also some embarrassment for feeling that way, or feeling alone in their emotions. I wanted to do something positive that felt personal and that would remind people that fandom isn't going anywhere.

Originally I thought to do it a few days after the WJW with DJenks, figuring we'd need another boost after that high wore off. Obviously the WJW didn't end up happening, but then I realized it was Rhys' birthday today, so that also felt like a great reason to spread a bit of love (not that you ever need a reason for that!).

And honestly, while the whole point was to make other people smile, the whole experience really boosted my own spirits tremendously. While stalking perusing everyone's blogs for inspo, I was reminded quite powerfully just how many extremely kind, talented, smart, funny, insightful, beautiful people there are in this fandom.

So I just want to say thank you. All of you who create gifs, make art, write fic, analyze the show, share shit posts, or reblog all of the above so we can see it again and again and again, you have made a difference in my fandom experience. With every post, you made me fall in love with Ed and Stede and the whole crew just a little bit more. Whether you're someone who's always in the tags or someone who prefers to quietly reblog, you have made my time here very special and I'm so grateful. 💕

#emynn.op #ofmd #also please know I tried to get to as many of you as I could but I'm still just one person #I'm also afraid there may be a bit of user error when I was trying to submit some of the asks from switching between tabs #and also I don't doubt tumblr ate a few since APPARENTLY there's a limit of 10 asks/hour and I sent...about 130 #so please know even if I didn't reach out to you directly I am still giving you all the love and good vibes in the world #and I'm so happy you're here 💕#and if you're ever feeling down or alone just reach out #to me or to some other friendly face on this site #bc if there's one thing I got out of today #it's the knowledge that this fandom has a whole lot of love to give #basking in all the love tonight and I hope you are too #💕💕💕💕

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shirazens · 23 days

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my own silly mystreet characters headcanon list!

aphmau:

has the worst "hear me out" takes you'll ever hear. like seriously. she can very much point to a yield sign and say "would" to everyone's dismay.

knows every line in moulin rouge as she is OBSESSED with the film. she and laurance preform the elephant medley as dramaticly as possible whenever they watch it for movie night.

obsessed with pre-endgame marvel movies.

ao3 writer! she writes fics for the nichest of fandoms, so she doesn't get that many reads.

one of the few reliable booktok users you can TRUST will give you a good recommendation to read!

garroth:

obsessed with the movie megamind. like seriously. will talk to you for hours on and WILL defend the "sequel movie" and show because, in fact, they are NOT that bad.

can infodump about a topic he's interested in for hours on end.

actually really smart and kind, but ever since he found out he made zane insecure he tries to tone it down. he used to show off a lot but wants to make sure his brother shines as well.

carries stress balls on him so he doesn't use his strength unnecessarily.

always organizes group movie nights with all his friends.

laurance:

loves to listen to and read AITA (am i the asshole?) reddit posts when bored.

an amazing listener, will listen to someone for hours on end and provide insight when needed (perfect for having a conversation with garroth).

loves gossiping. he has really good hearing so he tends to hear others share secrets nearby. he's like the wine aunt you just KNOW has the most interesting stories to tell.

likes to go on vacations a lot, explaining why he is absent sometimes during big group events.

he sometimes returns home to his family farm to take care of it when his parents are out of town.

he often voluntarily babysits caleb to impress aphmau and garroth with his caretaker skills (he's a showoff).

katelyn:

she loves the show big time rush and watches it in her freetime.

OBSESSED with musical theatre and visits broadway shows often. if the friends she brought along even DARE to suggest skipping the stagedoor? they receive a glare that could kill thousands.

adores singing and often sings in her room when the others aren't home.

continues to play volleyball with her friends after a long day of work (she's a freelance writer).

her music taste can range from alternative music like waterparks to kpop groups like red velvet!

KC:

an ao3 writer as well! she and Aphmau gift eachother fics from time to time! she mostly writes x reader fics for tumblr sexyman.

has taken a liking to cooking outside of baking! she especially likes to grill! she even wears an apron that says "kiss the cook" as well as a hat that says "fish fear me women love me".

watches any and all trending animated shows like tangled the series, adventure time, avatar, etc.

has her own tumblr blog where she writes reviews on shows and posts art! her page is quite popular.

dresses in mainly lolita fashion! she has a flare for the beauty of style and loves to recommend people styles and outfits whenever they go out shopping!

travis:

calls katelyn, zane, and dante hot nonchalantly

has attempted.

dante:

loves to bake and nana teaches him all kinds of recipes to make. he supplies the snacks at movie night.

takes taekwondo lessons. "can never be too careful" he says while living in a pretty standard upper middle class neighborhood. why is he like this.

works at a pet shelter and takes care of the dogs and cats left behind. he adopts any that have been there for years, thus making his house full of many different pets.

the designated driver for whenever they go out to clubs. he doesn't like to drink so he usually takes everyone home by the end of the night.

travis (the actual headcanons):

actually respects others and doesn't harass them like he did early on (that was a weird trope and i HATED it). he's just a flirt and if someone he flirts with flirts back he gets all flustered.

the group gamer. spends hours grinding on all sorts of games just to brag about it on his steam profile. specifically a fan of the spider-man games on playstation.

loves to cosplay! he, aphmau, and nana go to lots of conventions together in group cosplay. their last one was the powerpuff girls! they dragged garroth along and made him mojo jojo.

can recite everything and anything about the ninjago lore. this man is obsessed with any lego product or franchise and has many sets built in his room.

practices talking to himself in the mirror every morning to give him confidence. he has very low self esteem.

aaron:

dream stan.

probably friends with dream.

uhhhh idk probably streams the song "mask" by dream.

minecraft streamer.

dream.

those are all my headcanons! i hope you enjoyed! (slandering mystreet aaron is a passion of mine i'm sorry)

#aphmau #aphmau mystreet #mystreet #laurance zvahl #mystreet laurance #mystreet garroth #garroth ro'meave #dante mystreet #mystreet katelyn #mystreet travis #mystreet kawaii chan #aphverse #aphblr

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desert-fern · 11 months

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A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Part 8: The Boat to Riyadh

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: swearing, and I think that's it!

Word Count: 3.3k

Masterlist >> Part 7 >> Part 9

===

The journey was long and unremarkable. No one could do much and there was only so long someone could be cooped up in close quarters before they lost it. Thankfully, only petty disagreements happened, and knowing her team, Bear knew that it could definitely have been worse. For the most part, the Seals were nose deep in folders, trying to cram the smallest detail into their brains about this mission, possible formations, contingency plans, and more.

The pilots on the other hand, found themselves wandering aimlessly through the ship, alternating between bugging their Seal teammates and each other. But it was safe to say that everyone was bored out of their minds and arrival at Jebel Ali couldn’t come soon enough.

Bear groaned, scrubbing her hands over her face in frustration. The numbers weren’t adding up. There was simply no way that al-Hameed had as many people around him as he claimed. If that were the case, the drones that had been launched repeatedly over the area as well as satellite imaging would have confirmed the number she’d been given. Taking a deep breath, she got up and went in search of Flare, her expert in reconnaissance missions and information gathering. Hopefully her Lieutenant could give her some more insight into what was really going on beyond a man’s over-exaggerated body guard number.

“Flare. Mind following me?” Bear asked, finding the young woman with her nose in a book.

“Bear? Is everything okay?” Flare asked, setting the book down and following after her Commander.

Bear nodded. “For the most part, I’m struggling to grasp something and hoped that you could shed some light on the situation.”

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t guarantee anything,” Flare replied. “What was causing the issue?”

“al-Hameed’s number of followers at the compound. The IJU doesn’t have many active posts in Saudi Arabia, most are in tribal Pakistan, so unless Khrushov’s people were counted and then, I don’t know, doubled or something so it filled the space for al-Hameed, something else is going on,” Bear told her, pointing at the papers in front of her.

“Weird. Give me a second, let me grab my copies so I can compare because something is definitely off.” The young woman rushed from the room, skidding around the corners and past other Navy personnel as she made for her bunk.

Minutes later, she was back, files in hand. “Okay, so this is the satellite image from this day, that matches. But this is from… huh. I see what happened. You were sent the wrong data, because I have these two dates on images and reports, while you have this other one, from weeks ago.”

“So what you’re telling me, Flare, is that my files were changed?” Bear asked, arms crossed.

Biting her lip, Flare hummed. “I can’t say for sure, but it’s weird that I have this and you don’t. Especially since I sent you everything that came across my email in relation to this mission.”

Rubbing her temples, Bear sighed in frustration. “Okay, thanks. I’m trying to get a hold on roughly how many of you guys I will need for this, so I’m going to copy the numbers I need and give this back to you.” Bear sat back down in her chair, continuing on. “Meanwhile, before you get back to your book, I need you to draft an email to send the second we hit secure service in Riyadh. Tell them to take a look into my account, computer, and tech that is on base. I want to make sure that I haven’t been hacked.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Wonderful, thank you.” She watched Flare leave the room, letting out a huff as she went back to her planning. Time flew by, and now with the correct numbers, she knew that she would need most of the people she’d brought along. Better safe than sorry, she supposed.

For Jake, he was reminded just how much he hated the traveling portion of the deployments. Security reasons meant that outside communication was limited, not that he had anyone he wanted to talk to in the States, and that in turn limited access to the internet. At least it was limited for them, Bear had been adamant that all technology was off. Total blackout. “More like total boredom,” he muttered, standing up from his bunk and wandering off to find someone new to chat with.

His wandering brought him down random hallways until he found himself in a room with the Seals. Fireball, for some inane reason, had taken a liking to him, and they had discovered each other’s preference for rival football teams, which they dug up again and when Jake checked the time, he found that they had spent two hours explaining why the other was wrong. “Dude,” Fireball said, exasperated. “The stats speak for themselves. Your team hasn’t been good fo-” he cut himself off, glancing at the door.

Jake turned, finding himself face to face with Bear. “Bear.”

“Flyboy.”

“Commander, is there something you need?” Fireball asked, glancing between his CO and new friend.

She nodded. “But it can wait. If I stare at any more reports today, my head might explode,” Bear complained, flopping into one of the chairs. “I’d get into it, but Hangman isn’t cleared for this level of information, unfortunately.”

The room filled with silence. No one knew what to say, especially since Bear wasn’t typically one to complain. “I intruded on your space, didn’t I?” she asked after a moment. “Shit, okay. Well, food is ready in like 20 so I will see you guys there.” With a groan, Bear heaved herself up and out of the chair, quickly and quietly disappearing from the room.

Glances were exchanged, before Jake stood. “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to mess so all the good bread isn’t taken,” he remarked casually, strolling off down the halls after Bear.

She looked confused when he did find her, wondering why he would ask if she was okay. “I’m fine. I just know that there are things that you don’t necessarily want to discuss in front of your CO,” Bear told him, her brown eyes meeting his green. “It’s kind of sweet that you were concerned though. I appreciate it. But I really am fine.”

He gave her a grin, walking backwards towards the door, wincing when his shoulder slammed into the side of the door. “Ow.”

“You good, Flyboy?”

The signature smirk made its appearance on Jake’s face. “Oh, I’m good, Teddy. I’m very good.”

“Oh fuck you,” she groaned. “That was terrible.”

His smirk grew and he strode towards her, backing her into the table behind her. “I’m pretty sure you’d enjoy that too much, Teddy,” he replied, voice low. Jake caught how her eyes widened, how her cheeks pinked, and the little hitch in her breath with how close he stood, and he relished that his presence was all it took for her to lose some of the rigid control she had on her reactions.

Rolling her eyes, Bear shook her head. Slipping out from against the table, she stood with her arms crossed, amusement dancing in her eyes. “You wish, Flyboy. You fucking wish.”

“Oh I do,” Jake retorted. With one more appraising glance, he left her standing in the middle of the room, shock evident on her face.

“Ugh! That motherfucker!”

===

Nearly 20 days after their original departure date and five days after the incident, as Bear had taken to calling it, the USS Abraham Lincoln made port in Saudi Arabia’s port Mina Jebel Ali.

The deck had erupted in chaos, pilots, support crew, engineers, Seals, and any number of personnel were rushing to and fro, trying to get everything settled for the disembarkation of a fraction of the number that would continue on to the naval base in Busan.

“Flare, Shrike, Bug, Fireball, are your people ready?”

“Yes Ma’am, ready and waiting to fly out. Waiting on your signal to send them off,” Bug replied.

“Send them off. Join your teams, I will do one last check with Captain Mitchell before I join you en route to Riyadh,” Bear ordered. “You are dismissed.”

Four nods from her Lieutenants followed her words before they disappeared into the flurry of movement. Bear watched the helicopters take off, each one carrying nearly ten Seals apiece. It made her nervous, knowing how many things could go wrong. Even if it was just an hour and a bit from where the port. Anything could be waiting the second they flew out of the urban areas.

Steeling herself, Bear blew out a deep breath, catching Maverick by the arm as he went to pass her. “Everything set?”

“Hell yeah. Just having them to do final checks on the jets. Should be out within 30 to 45, depending on whether or not Hondo can get everyone organized enough to send us out,” he told her, glancing over her shoulder at Payback, who was finishing up his checks.

“Get your people together, and I will see you soon, Mav.” Bear clapped him on the back before slipping through the crowd to the last running helicopter that sat on the deck of the Lincoln.

Strapping in, Bear placed the headset on, tucked her bag between her feet before signaling to the pilot. “Let’s get this bird in the air.”

===

The flight didn’t take long and when her boots hit the ground at Riyadh Air Base, Bear hurried over, offering an extended hand to the Base Commander, Air Force Colonel Michael Richmond. “Thank you for hosting us, Colonel. We appreciate your cooperation.”

“It isn’t a problem, Commander. Just glad something is finally being done about al-Hameed,” he replied, shaking her hand. “Do you know your way around?”

“I do, Sir. We’ve had some past missions that have had us based out of Riyadh. If nothing changed since I was last here, I believe we should be good to go,” Bear told him. “I hope that the arrangements for our pilots were communicated in advance?”

“Yes, they were. Admiral Harris was quite clear when he sent the request that it was anything but a request,” Richmond chuckled.

“That sounds like him.”

The Colonel nodded, calling over a few of his people. “Staff Sergeants Miller and Roux will show you to the accommodations.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Settling in only took a few hours. But thanks to the time change, most of her people and the pilots were absolutely exhausted. Luckily for them, it was evening when the last F-18 touched down, allowing most of their personnel to fall asleep quickly.

And they did.

The next morning hit them all hard. It was an early start. Maverick had the Daggers up, doing standard runs and drills to get his people back in the air and work out any final kinks as they practiced the bombing run.

Bear, on the other hand, had allowed her Seals an extra hour of sleep, knowing that in two days, they would be up for hours on end. She figured that a little extra sleep couldn’t hurt. At 0630 though, she walked through the halls banging her fist on all the doors of her people whether they were up or not. Training had to be done, but Bear had chatted with Maverick the night before to ask if her people could visit the swath of desert over which the Daggers were running their maneuvers, and he had happily agreed.

So 45 minutes later, Bear and her team traveled out to where Maverick stood next to an abandoned hangar, where they could see the planes twisting and curling through the air like kites whose strings had been let out a little too far. “Bear!” Maverick yelled over the noise, waving them down. “You’re in for a show! I’m pretty sure that they know you’re here!”

“Well we aren’t exactly a small group!” She yelled back, tilting her head up to watch two planes race past overheard, chasing each other with reckless abandon. “And I’m pretty sure they could see us coming for miles!”

He laughed, waving the group of Seals over to cluster around him. “Throw your packs against the wall, I can maybe use a few of you in running this next series.” Tapping the radio in his hand, Maverick spoke, voice crackling through the comms of the twelve pilots above him, “The Seals showed up. A few are gonna give you information. Listen for your call sign.”

“Copy Mav,” Phoenix replied, twisting over Coyote to dive low enough to wave at Bear and Bug before flying off and allowing her aircraft to hover midair, waiting for the instructions. “I can tell Bagman’s a second away from showing off though.”

“Oh fucking hell,” Omaha swore goodnaturedly. “Now wingmen really will be left hanging.”

“Fuck off you two,” Jake replied, his cheeks a little red. “I’m still this good, regardless.”

A few cackles filled his headset, and down on the ground, Bear could hear the teasing from the large radio inside the hangar. It made her grin, loving the ribbing the blonde man was on the receiving end of, thankful that it was his turn and not hers. “Alright people, who wants to go first?” she asked, scanning over her people. A few hands went up, and Bear glanced back at Maverick. “How many did you need?”

He held up four fingers and Bear picked off four people, who followed her to the radio where Maverick stood. He had written down the instructions he wanted certain pilots to have during the exercise, and passed them over to the Seal leader, who flipped them over, making her people draw blindly. “Okay, Coyote, Raptor has some instructions for you. Go ahead Raptor,” the older pilot told the young man next to him.

He relayed information that he was given with minimal issue. He had turned back to Bear, giving her a huge shrug after, saying, “I have no fucking clue what I just said.”

Up in the air, the Daggers heard his words and laughed. “Hate to break it to you, Raptor, but I could tell!” Coyote teased.

The other three Seals had their turns, each one of them making faces back at their Commander signaling their uncertainty. “Well, this will be fun,” Maverick said. Gesturing them forwards, the pilot began telling them the exercise. “So what we just told them to do, is really the most basic one we have. Coyote and Rooster are dogfighting against Phoenix and Halo. It’s just two minutes, a short one. Make sense?”

The Seals around him nodded and they watched as the drill they had relayed to the pilots began. The ducking, dodging, and weaving of the planes had most of the Seals’ jaws dropping in awe. “This is fucking cool,” Fireball exclaimed, knocking into Flare with how he’d been craning his neck to see. “It’s like they’re dancing.”

“At roughly 7000 feet, going hundreds of miles an hour,” Maverick elaborated, grinning widely. It felt good to show off their skills. And why wouldn’t they? The Seals had already had their turn back stateside.

As soon as it had begun, Coyote and the others slowed. The radio spewed joking insults and proclamations of victory all over the other and Bear delighted in the organized chaos. “Damn,” was all the Seal Commander was able to say. “Wow.”

“Hear that? Bear’s impressed with you all,” Maverick gloated, grinning when he saw the woman shake her head at him. “She’s practically speechless.”

Eyes glinting behind her sunglasses, Bear sauntered forwards, snatching the radio from Maverick’s hands. “As speechless as y’all were after we did our first drill?”

The pilots in the sky burst into laughter. “Sh-she’s got you there, Mav!” Rooster laughed, the mental image too funny for him not to.

Meanwhile, Jake was having a crisis. He loved that Bear was impressed. But he hadn’t done anything yet, and a part of him really wanted to hear her express awe at his skills. And her voice through the headset? Absolutely fucking magical. The lightness of her voice made him grin and want to hear her voice in his ear again. In whatever way he could get it.

“Okay, okay. Settle down.” Maverick was side-eyeing the Seal hard, amusement sparkling in his eyes, knowing full well the dilemma Hangman was having up in the sky. It wasn’t new to him. “Bear, want to do the honors for the next one?”

“Seriously?” Bear narrowed her eyes at him, unsure of what he was playing at.

“C’mon Bear!” One of the Seals yelled and the chant was quickly picked up by the rest of them, Maverick pressing the button on the radio to allow the pilots to listen in, which ended up with them goading her as well, all chanting “Do it. Do it. Do it.”

Waving her arms, Bear shouted over the noise, “Okay! Okay! Fucking Christ! Fine, what am I directing them in?”

A piece of paper was pressed into her hands, and she pulled a face at the words on the note. “Okay, this isn’t fucking legible in the slightest. Flare, you’re always reading the worst handwriting, what does this say?”

“Hangman, Payback and Fanboy, Halo and Omaha, and Harvard, and it looks like Mav has something here about a race?” Flare said, looking at Maverick for confirmation.

“That’s it.”

“Great,” Bear picked up the radio and read out the instructions, calling out the four pilots in question. “From the furthest hangar in the west, over the base and back,” she finished.

“Did you understand any of that?” Jake’s voice came through the speaker and she could hear the smirk in his tone.

“I’m aviationally challenged, not directionally challenged, Flyboy,” she teased back.

“Pretty sure that’s not my call sign.”

“Nope, pretty sure I have the right ‘f-boy’.”

“Oh shit!” Fireball shouted, gaping at his CO. “Bear, you can’t just straight up murder a man like that.”

Bear squinted at him. “Did you forget that that is literally part of our job?”

“Right.”

Up in the sky, Jake was still shell-shocked from her quick comeback. He prided himself in being able to put her off her game, but it seemed that she could do the same just as easily.

“All good up there, Hangman? Haven’t heard confirmation of understanding just yet,” Bear said teasingly over his headset, making him groan in frustration.

“Copy that, Ted-Bear,” he replied, the nickname he had for her slipping from his lips with ease. It was only a forced correction that had him changing it mid syllable.

Glances were exchanged. Jake was acting weird, well, weirder than usual and while everyone had a guess as to what was happening, the other party supposedly involved seemed to be unaffected. If only they knew how untrue that was. The groan Jake had let out rattled through Bear’s head, mixing with the fantasies that ran rampant through her mind late at night. It was bad enough she had to see him in that damn flight suit on a daily basis.

Maverick shouted “Go!” and the planes raced past.

Bear watched the planes take off, racing each other down the straightaway. “Which one is which?” She asked Maverick.

“Far right is Hangman. Payback and Fanboy are second left. Omaha is next to Hangman, and Harvard is far left,” he told her, watching the planes begin to distance themselves from one another.

“And here they come!” Someone yelled from behind her. They were right. The planes raced back towards them with who she thought was Hangman in first place. Her suspicions were confirmed when he gave a shout of victory, whooping with delight.

“Alright, back home Daggers,” Maverick told them. “Refuel, and we’ll come back up this afternoon.”

“Copy Mav,” came the replies, with one pilot replying “Okay dad.”

Bear turned to the Seals. “Grab your gear, we’re going back. We have a few more raid drills to practice before we’re done for the day.”

She nodded to Maverick, who returned the gesture, before Bear led the Seals off at a run in the direction of the base.

===

A/N: So they are in Saudi now! Still going to be a bit before it picks up, but Bear is still a boss bitch! Thank you to @startrekfangirl2233 @sarahsmi13s and @dakotakazansky for reading this part for me!

Taglist: @startrekfangirl2233 @sarahsmi13s @dakotakazansky @horseshoegirl @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @lavenderbradshaw @roosterforme @bobby-r2d2-floyd @bradleybeachbabe @twsssmlmaa @footprintsinthesxnd @fandomxpreferences @dempy @gizmodear @fighterpilothoe @chaoticassidy @eli2447 @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @djs8891 @rhirhikingston @sisterslytherinog @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak @thegoddessc @sgt-barnesveins @taytaylala12 @urmom-999 @formulapierre @pinkpantheris

** Please send me a message if you want to be added or removed from the taglist **

#a gun amonst daggers #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x you #jake hangman x fem!reader #top gun maverick x reader #jake seresin x oc #hangman fanfiction #hangman x reader #bear and hangman #controlled chaos squad #callsign bruiser #hangman x oc #hangman imagine #hangman fic

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mundanite-ratio · 3 days

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"If you have nothing insightful to say, please do us both a favour and don't say it at all."

I am Dr. Veritas Ratio, a scholar and teacher of the Intelligentsia Guild and one of the mediocres. If you're experiencing any issues, take some time to consider if you could resolve it yourself before wasting my time.

not affiliated with hyv!!!

Rules & Info:

-No NSFW

-No racism, ableism, homo/transphobia, etc. (he would bash you for that shit with a book.)

-(( )) for OOC

-I'm fine with any ships as long as they are.... normal (no incest, minors, animals, you get it)

-I have no life so I'll usually be responding quick as long as I'm not asleep

Mod stuff:

-He/him or They/them

-I'm also the mod of @ipc-findie, @ratios-duck, and @aventurine-the-finalvictor (i PROMISE this one is more serious. PROMISE.)

-Don't be scared to talk to me!!! I'm literally the most easy going person out there

--Also this goober follows my functions according to my hcs so he's German. Do i speak german? Barely. Is he still going to be German? Yes.

-I'm not so incredibly smart so uhm... tone it down with the nerdy questions please..?

-And yes I believe that we as a society needed one more Ratio blog.

#dr ratio #hsr dr ratio #dr ratio hsr #dr ratio rp #hsr rp #rp intro post #hsr #honkai: star rail #hsr roleplay #dr ratio roleplay #honkai star rail

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 30 days

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People are so jealous of you it’s insane! ❤️ You don’t have to post this if you don’t want to stir the pot, just wanted you to know that to me, an objective third party observer, all this drama clearly stems from how jealous other people on here are of your ability to write beautifully and in-character. They WISH they had your talent and insights. The reason you get asks and people interacting with you is because you’re interesting, funny, smart, witty, kind and all over wonderful. They envy you! I know it’s easier said than done but please don’t let them get to you! If they have a pathetic group chat talking shit about you, let them! The only thing it shows is how jealous they are.

Hoping you read this and feel the love I am channeling here through this anonymous ask. YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU CREATE! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ KEEP BEING YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU EXACTLY AS YOU ARE! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I really appreciate the kind words and the sentiment behind this, and I love you for it! I am a big believer in complimenting people without it being at the expense of others though, so I will never put another person down in order to raise another up. For a long while I did think it related to people’s perception of me being what they considered a “big blog” and the negative connotations they associate with that. However, having some time away has given me a new perspective on things.

I am back by the way, hello! Using your ask to springboard off of that and speak my mind a little. Hope you’re okay with that!

The time away has been nice, but I’ve realised without the immersion of fandom, I really struggle to write, as being surrounded by others all being creative fuels my own motivation.

I have yeeted all asks that name usernames or allude heavily to the drama. I am drawing a line in the sand and moving on.

I think a lot of these issues stem from people’s inability to just make peace with the fact that they are not going to get along with everyone. Sometimes you just find people annoying and you need to block them, so that you aren’t subjected to their presence. There is nothing wrong with that. You do not need to play morality police and twist people’s words and actions to make them out to be a bad person to justify your dislike or ensuing block.

The people ragging on me publicly aren’t bad people, they just dislike me. I hope they find their peace with the block button and move on.

If you block someone, don’t go out of your way to visit their page to find things to be upset and angry about - that is emotional self harm. Move on and engage with the things you do enjoy.

I hope this is the last I ever have to speak of this. If you see people speaking ill of me, ignore it, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. I want to leave all of the negativity in the rear view and just focus on the aspects of fandom I do enjoy.

I’ll get to all asks, etc. throughout the day - will most likely queue stuff, so I’m not spamming up the dash.

#asked and answered

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lol-jackles · 9 months

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Hello, I’m sorry if this gets a bit long. I’ll try to edit it down once I’m done

So, I’m not saying this to downplay its importance to fans or Jared’s truly wanting to help people, but Jared was also very smart to come out with the Always Keep Fighting campaign, no? I could be talking out of my ass I this, because I wasn’t in the fandom at the time, but as well as being brave to share his anxiety/depression with fans, it also seems smart to share it on his own terms before it could be used against him. I think I’ve read on your blog that actors with MHI are often considered a liability to a production because if they “lose it” or walk off of the project, the higher ups are screwed. But, by Jared volunteering his personal information to the huge SPN fan base (and I assume some amount of press coverage), isn’t this a good way the give himself a bit of insurance? If his bosses are starting to think he looks expendable, they can’t now act on any desire to get rid of him without him or even his fans being able to turn around and call them out for discrimination.

I’m not saying these thoughts were the reason for AKF but do you think Jared had the foresight to sort of protect himself with the campaign as well, or was it all risk for him?.

I’m asking this because I read your recent response on possible reasons Jensen isn’t as sought after as Jared post SPN, despite being the clear favourite of some crew on the show.

Jared must have an amazing reputation to overcome the possible mental health stigma, and the fact that some SPN crew seem to blatantly favour Jensen (Wanek, Phil Segricia, Bib Singer, etc).

On a side note: who on the production crew do you think favoured, or even just backed Jared over Jensen? Or treated them equally even?

Okay, this was a lot. But I’d be interested in seeing your insight on any of this (I know you’ll pick what you would prefer to focus on) because from what I can tell, you really do have a pretty good read on what was likely going on behind the scenes.

I think you’re on the right track because it was also my first gut reaction the moment the Variety article came out. For Jared to come out when his career is still hot is pretty telling, normally actor don’t admit to mental illness until their career is drying up. It’s one less thing he has to hide and therefore one less leverage others BTS can’t use against or hold over him.

"I wasn’t in the fandom at the time"

During the early season there were rumors circulating that Jared was always late to the set. My first thought was, "They're setting him up to have a difficult reputation". It's producer tactic 101, put out fake news that the actor is a diva who is always late and if the actor doesn't toe the line, escalate it to "difficult actor" so that the studio is not the bad guy if the actor suddenly leaves. 7 years later we find out that Jared was looking to break his contract, so the producer(s) were preparing to make him the fall guy. Once Jared stayed on, the "late to the set" rumor immediately evaporated.

I bring this up because it ties into our speculation that Jared's decision to out himself for mental illness was at least partly motivated by removing a leverage against him BTS.

It was also the right time because he proved that as the principal lead of the longest continuous genre series in America, he's not a risk because filming schedule was never disrupted, which costs a lot of money. Even when he had a breakdown on set in season 3, he still finished out the season. His subsequent breakdown after season 10 could have derailed that, but he returned for season 11 and again lead the show through it's rating resurgence. Impressed, CBS arrived two years later at his doorstep with a holding deal.

"On a side note: who on the production crew do you think favoured, or even just backed Jared over Jensen?"

My immediate thought was Jeremy Carver. He was not in favor of the season 10 Dean-centric arc that Robert Singer and Jensen were angling for, and even tried to head off their campaign during Comic Con prior to season 9. His wife is currently the showrunner of Walker. There's also writer Adam Glass, I'm not sure why but he just vibed being all about Jared.

ETA: thanks to others' reminder, I would also add Sera Gamble. I can't believe I didn't immediatley thought of her as she's one of my favorite writers.

#jared padalecki

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milkchuu · 9 months

Text

𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔 | 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒕.

(personal post)

1. i am always in childstate. i appreciate life to the smallest little piece of joy, and i am filled with childlike wonder and excitement at all times

2. i always get a confirmation of my universal purchase within 3 days

3. i do not doubt myself. ever.

4. i have a complete and utter trust in the law and in myself

5. what i want i get, end of. nothing is too big or too small for me to manifest. money nor means are a factor

6. all methods i try work for me perfectly, and i master all methods and states of consciousness effortlessly

7. everything will work out in my favor eventually, no matter the circumstances. i will have all i choose in due time

8. no limits, no struggles, everything comes naturally to me, because it is my birthright to have all i could ever want

9. my subliminal playlists always work, and i have no problem making an overwhelmingly powerful playlist and sticking to it

10. amy is a liar, and i do not even for a second believe what she says or hesitate to tell her off

11. i am the dearly beloved and overly spoiled child of the universe. i am safe, loved, protected, provided for and get all i want and need without having to lift a finger; i am the greatest benefactor of spiritual nepotism. what i say, goes

12. i easily abstain from engaging with doubts, negativity, ill will or any unproductive and unwanted influences, whether it be media, people, or my own thoughts. i can identify and discard them/cut them out effortlessly

13. i hyper-romanticise everything about me and my life. everything is perfect. i have no faults. i am the universal it girl, i embody my ideal (and highest) self. everything is beautiful, aesthetic, and lovely. my life is one huge feel-good movie, and i am the main lead

14. i am healthy, i am wealthy, i am happy, i am loved, i am beautiful, i am smart, i am mature, i am disciplined, i have great insight, i am accepted and well respected, i am fashionable, i am powerful, i am famous, i am all that and a milkshake, nobody and nothing can stop me

DNI: terf/swerf, abdl/bdsm/nsfw blogs, pro-ed, anti-LGBTQ+/anti-MOGAI, pro-ship, pro-inc*st, anti-endo, (NO)MAP/PEAR/supporter, anti-agere, trump supporter, anti-feminist, anti-BLM/anti-ACAB, abrahamic religions (there's nothing wrong with this one, it's just a trigger for me), will add as i remember other nasty people

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csuitebitches · 3 months

Note

Hello~

I hope you're doing well!

May I ask you a few pieces of advice, please? Reading through your blog, I've discovered that you're Asian with Asian ancestry, and after some thoughts I've come to the conclusion you're the best person to ask. I'm Slavic woman (Eastern European) married to an Asian man (Chinese), exactly how you described, in Asia it's more a marriage between two families, meanwhile me and my husband married for love. In fact, his parents "consented" to our union, only because 1) I'm a good-looking woman 2) he was so stubborn in his feelings and argued whenever someone had something bad to say 3) I'm respectful, accommodating, and listen to my husband 4) good at cleaning, it's important to his father since he's traditional.

But sometimes, drama happens, mostly from his mother-in-law (his father's second wife), always manipulating and saying stuff as, it was better if he married a wealthy Chinese woman, someone who's good at running a business etc.

How can I stand up for myself or just manage these kinds of situations? The only solution seems to be to just take the risk, and do business, so they could finally stop finding faults. Furthermore they don't know, but I come from a wealthy family, but got disinherited by my mother for saying no to an arranged marriage.

Thank you in advance for your time, help and insight, I'm really grateful. Have a wonderful day and take care of yourself!

Hi there love. I’m sorry to read this. Asian families can truly be both a boon and a curse.

the reality is that your in laws will have an issue regardless of what you do. You could start a business, they could still have 10 horrible things to say to you. You could choose to look after your husband and your home, and they’ll still say awful things to you.

here’s what you should do in my opinion. And this advice comes straight from my mother.

my mother came from a middle class family. My father is a self made man, who made a fortune. They had an arranged marriage. My grandmother (my father’s mother) was really awful to my mother. She wouldn’t even let her touch the cutlery in the house. She had a problem with everything my mother did - with the way she raised her kids, what her career was, everything. She would bitch about my mother in front of us kids, she would say nasty things to my extended family. She told my maternal grandmother (my mum’s mum) that she was sure that if she was on her deathbed, my mother would never care for her. Maternal grandmother was SHOCKED and snapped and told her that her daughter was raised with better values.

my grandfather on the other hand, loves loves loves my mother, as though she was his own daughter. Praises her everywhere he goes. But that’s beside the point.

here’s what my mother learned.

She cannot control her mother in law. MIL is stubborn, ruthless, cunning. It all boils down to one thing - insecurity. Insecurity of never being good enough, smart enough, never was able to control my father (he left home because issues with her), and my father gave my mother the attention she deserved.

MIL was very possessive of my father. Asian Mums 90% of the time have a weird incest relationship with their sons. They cannot let their sons be happy with anyone. Your husband seems like a great guy, standing up for his wife. The support may not heal your hurt, but I’m sure it does a lot of good by having him on your side.

regardless of what she did, she knew she would be criticised anyway. So she did what she liked. She was a stay at home mom till I went to school, then she got two masters degrees, got herself involved in a business, has her own clients, has her own name. Even when she became successful, MIL still bitched about her. But you know what else happened? People began coming up to my grandparents and telling them what a wonderful person my mother is. MIL obviously couldn’t bear the criticism but FIL loved it and cherished her even more. She won her FIL’s respect. To this day he sings her praises even to me.

some fights are not worth it. MIL would sometimes antagonise her over small things, just to provoke her. My mother would simply stay calm. Eventually even the extended family realised that my mother had gone through a lot.

she remained emotionally detached with MIL, but she took care of her when she had cancer. She looked after her, proving MIL’s words (“she’ll never take care of me on my deathbed) absolutely wrong. And she did that out of kindness. She did that because SHE was a nice person, not because MIL deserved it.

do what your heart wants to do. The more you live life to gain approval from someone else - someone who may never give it to you - your life will be miserable. The only way to fight these horrible MILs is by standing up straight, being decisive, being able to say no and hold your ground. She has to respect you as her DIL, regardless of what you do. You will not earn her respect by trying to be someone you’re not.

If your FIL is more accepting towards than her - Build a relationship with the FIL. Forget about the MIL, she’s going to be jealous and awful, and I highly doubt such women ever change. Half the time, they behave in this way because that’s how THEIR MIL’s treated them. MIL’s MIL treated her awfully as well - the former was scared shitless of the latter. She repeated the same pattern with my mother, but my mum was too strong to let MIL bring her down.

If you want to be on good terms with your in laws, focus on the father. Be the daughter he never had (even if he has daughters). But do it because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to.

Such women are simply insecure. Insecure to a point where they must hurt other women because it genuinely gives them joy. Do not let her words affect you whatsoever. And do not live your life by her terms. Focus on being a good person to yourself and your husband.

#Q/a #asian marriages

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