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sarcastic-kaz · 5 months

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happy birthday genya!!! have some angst, have some fluff! (be warned before you open this, the word count is over 6k)

link to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52265803/chapters/133764163

“What a peculiar Blood Demon Art,” Shinobu nonchalantly giggled, “there’s not much we can do until it wears off… you defeated the demon, right Genya-kun?”

“I did…” Genya wearily replied, shuffling around the smaller human resting unconsciously in his arms. “How long do you think until..?”

“Possibly the rest of the day,” hummed Shinobu, shuffling around some papers, “but this is interesting indeed. Aoi, please show Genya to a room, for a little while?”

Outside, Aoi walked over and opened the door, motioning for the slayer to follow her. With a quick bow, Genya matched paces with the girl, who shot a glance at Genya’s arms. “What happened with that?”

“A… Blood Demon Art,” Genya explained, “hit me. The demon said something about my past? And this is me… maybe eight or nine years old.”

Aoi didn't bother trying to hide her gaze at the little Genya dozing in teenager Genya’s hold. She shook it off and opened the door to a private room. “Feel free to use this room, breakfast in around an hour. We can also try to prepare some sort of clothing for him- you? Yeah.”

“Thank you, Aoi-san.” Genya quietly shut the door with his foot, turning to the bed pushed into the corner of the room. He went over and… placed his own, younger self onto the bed, pursing his lips for a second before rubbing some grime off his younger self’s face.

Genya breathed deeply and sank into a chair nearby, already changed into the Butterfly Mansion’s patient clothing since his own uniform got torn. His minimal injuries had already gotten treated by the Insect Hashira, since he hadn’t resorted to his cheap trick of eating demons.

His yukata was ripped, though… just near the seam, so it would be an easier fix than some other damages the purple fabric had seen. Genya ran a hand through his hair, looking back at his younger self, face shining in the dying moonlight.

The curved shadows on his face had almost no meat, a childish, smooth face with no hint of a scar and hair shorter than what it was, when he was a teenager, along with thick eyelashes that would later be defined by some mascara.

He looked young.

Then, his eyes opened.

Very thinly veiled panic filled the younger’s face, though the two engaged in a lengthy staring contest, challenging each other to see who would react first, like a deadly duel.

Teenager Genya was proud to say that Gyomei’s lessons on patience paid off.

“Who’re you?!” Tiny Genya scrambled up, scooting away. “Where’s ‘Nemi?! Kaa-chan!”

“Hey, hey,” older Genya reached forwards, pulling out his long-disused comforting voice, which used to be reserved for his younger siblings, “you’re alright, you’re safe. N- ‘Nemi’s not here right now, but can you just breathe with me?”

Genya tensed as his younger self threw a punch. It didn't hurt at all, even with it going right to his solar plexus, but it hurt more knowing just how weak he was. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Genya continued talking calmly with his tinier self, making no sudden movements and not changing anything he was saying.

Eventually, after what felt like hours but he realistically guessed was maybe ten minutes, Genya managed to get his smaller self to at least hear him out. “I know it’s confusing, but some bad guys brought you to the future.”

“What kind of bad guys?” Genya huffed, crossing his thin arms.

The older one sighed. “It’s… complicated, but they can do magic.”

“And I believe you why..?” Tiny Genya scoffed.

“I’m you,” Genya explained to himself, “but older.”

A second of silence passed over the room. “Where’d you- I get that scar?”

Oh, fuck. Genya didn't want to answer that. “The bad guys, some years ago. This uniform means I fight them. Anyone wearing this uniform fights them.”

The younger Genya squinted in suspicion, until his eyes landed on something on his older self’s body, next to the black uniform he was holding up. “What’s that, then?”

“A sword,” Genya boasted, “wanna hold it? I use it to kill bad guys.”

“Is it real?” Genya reached out his small hands to grab the saya from the teenager, then gaping as real, actually sharp metal got pulled out. “Oh my gods.”

“Don't hurt yourself,” chided Genya, watching the child wave the wakizashi carefully, “but all of us have a sword. Isn't that cool?”

“Wow…” the younger Genya peered at the sword, then lowering it. “Where’s ‘Nemi? Teiko, Hiroshi, Sumi? Shuuya and the baby in mom’s tummy?”

Genya paused for a moment, looking over his own, immature face. “I don't know, right now. Sanemi might be on a mission, though.”

“A mission?!” Genya jumped up, making the bed squeak as he hopped up and down. The older Genya took the wakizashi back and slid it into the saya. “Sanemi also fights bad guys?! Of course he does, but we get to do it together!”

Genya felt his heart pang, as his younger self continued giggling innocently, spinning around as he jumped. A knock at the door stopped him, as it opened quietly to reveal Kanao. “Am I interrupting? We only found a jinbei from when I was younger…”

“Hi!” Genya grinned, his older version freezing at the abrupt and loud voice. “Are we friends?”

Kanao paused, glancing up at the teenage counterpart, who was blushing with embarrassment. She nodded and smiled. “I think that we are, Genya-kun.”

The small Genya cheered. Kanao placed down the jinbei on the bed, heading back out the door. “Breakfast might be postponed slightly, Aoi went out to town for something.”

“It’s alright, Kanao…” Genya mumbled, as the girl shut the door.

“She’s pretty!” The smaller one rolled around on the bed. “She was wearing that uniform, too, so that means she hunts bad guys!”

“Just hurry up and change…” Genya tossed the clothes into the smaller face. He wouldn't give the kid a sexuality crisis at the moment…

“Hey, hey, me…” Genya hummed in reply, whilst tying the final bow on the jinbei. “What day is it today?”

“July sixteenth.” He responded, making his younger self slump. “Why?”

“I mean… I was sleeping, and…” Genya’s voice dropped to a whisper so that only his teenage self could hear, “it’s my eighth birthday tomorrow. So this would be a real cool dream.”

Genya blinked, the knot half-finished. He recalled having some sort of nice dream, that birthday, that he couldn't quite remember… was that it? Was he helping himself have that nice dream?

“Can I play with your sword more?” Genya returned to reality with the childish voice calling out to him.

“No.” He answered immediately.

“Can't believe I’m boring, in the future…” grumbled Genya. “I wanna look around more!”

Well, that couldn't harm anyone. “Sure,” Genya shrugged and opened the door, immediately regretting it as his younger self zoomed out. Damn, he was a hyperactive kid.

Tanjiro stretched out his muscles as he started getting out of his training mindset, for breakfast. To keep up with a slayer’s nocturnal sleep schedule, Tanjiro would simply meditate whilst healing at the Butterfly Mansion, controlling his Breathing more and reflecting on himself.

The pitter-patter of tiny feet snapped Tanjiro out of his routine, as he looked around for the source whilst also sniffing. Something slightly demonic, but not strong… maybe the result of some sort of Blood Demon Art? Accompanying it came the scent of evergreens, maybe the hint of something earthy.

“Come back here, you little gremlin!” Tanjiro watched a young child dashing through the halls of the Butterfly Mansion, being quickly pursued by a much taller, gangly guy yelling at him.

“What a weirdo, talking to yourself!” The child giggled ferociously while running, skidding through the halls with his bare feet thudding against the wooden floors.

Tanjiro blinked a couple times before resuming stretching. He groaned as his lower back crackled.

“Gotcha!” Genya grabbed at his smaller self, encasing the little kid with his body in a huge bear hug before starting to tickle, not letting free even with the light hits small Genya gave whilst squirming and shrieking for freedom.

After some time, however, both of them became so overcome with laughter that they just lay on the hallway floor, heaving for air. A shadow fell over them, making two pairs of purple eyes open simultaneously. “If you two are done being a commotion to patients, then breakfast is ready.”

“Sorry, Kochou-san!” Genya sat up, grabbing his smaller self as well. “We'll get washed up!”

Genya let himself be dragged away by the teenager, only turning to spare one last glance. “She’s pretty! Like kaa-chan!”

Genya’s face burst aflame, his only saving grace being that his back was to the hashira. He hissed and dragged the eight-year-old along faster. Shinobu giggled into her hand.

“Did you go to town for watermelon?” Genya asked Aoi, when the girl presented it after everyone finished breakfast.

“I mean, might as well give him a treat.” Aoi gestured at the smaller Genya chomping away at the fruit. “What do you plan to do today?”

“Mmm, he said that he was brought here when he was sleeping, the night before his- my- our birthday,” Genya stammered, “so maybe just treat him still.”

“Huh.” Aoi hummed, before leaning in towards the boy’s ear. “By the way, Shinobu-sama sent Shinazugawa-san a crow about this.”

Genya jerked upright. “Sanemi knows about this?”

“If he even listens to her crow,” Aoi scoffed and crossed her arms, “you have no idea how he ignores other hashira’s crows.”

Genya wilted. He knew exactly how much Sanemi could ignore a crow. Aoi backtracked. “I mean, more like-”

“I get it,” Genya waved her off with a smile, continuing to pick out the seeds from the fruit, “thank you for going out of your way to get this watermelon.”

“Are you a picky eater? Or were you?” Aoi glanced down at Genya’s fingers. Genya thought back to chomping into demon flesh, eating mud because he was so hungry, and resorting to devouring rats on the street before he met Gyomei.

“No.” Genya grunted. “Watermelon seeds can grow in your stomach.”

Aoi started laughing at him. Genya flushed as he handed over the seedless watermelon slice to his younger self, who continued eating. “Who told you that?!”

“...Sanemi.” Genya mumbled under his breath, making Aoi only wheeze harder. They were starting to draw attention, the very serious girl who ran the Butterfly Estate in stitches with a tall, scary looking dude looking embarrassed with a smaller, carbon copy of himself gobbling down watermelon.

“How- how old were you?” Aoi gulped in air, clutching her stomach to try and stifle the laughter.

“Four.” Genya grumbled, getting up just as the smaller Genya finished up with the watermelon. “Let’s go.”

“Hey, hey, me!” The smaller one squeezed the older’s hand for attention. “Where’re we going?”

“Another big house,” Genya replied, walking briskly, “with different people inside.”

“Can you slow down?” Genya whined, making his little feet go faster. “And you aren’t telling me anything-”

Genya stopped walking to kneel down, pulling his younger self onto his back. “There, now we can go faster.”

Genya squealed as his bigger self hoisted him up, walking much faster than they ever could have if Genya continued walking with his much tinier legs. Genya couldn’t help but chuckle as his younger self continued babbling along, bringing them back along a familiar road to the Stone Estate.

“Tadaima-!” Genya called out when he entered the estate, then lowering himself off his back, the two of them quickly taking off their shoes. The morning air brought some crisp into the rooms, where Genya led his smaller self around.

“Do you live here?” The smaller one asked, almost in awe.

“Yeah,” Genya shrugged, catching a glance at the younger’s face.

“That’s so cool!” The younger one jumped around. “It’s so big and expensive!”

“These guys get paid whatever they want,” Genya explained, “so it’s obvious they get big houses.”

“They do?!” Genya gasped at himself. “What kind of guys?!”

“Hashira, they’re the strongest of all of us in this job, to kill bad guys.” Genya peeked into a couple rooms to no avail, his huge mentor nowhere to be found.

“Are we hashira?” Genya tugged at his own pant sleeve.

The older one shook his head slowly. “Anyone with gold buttons is, but silver just means people below.”

“Wow…” Genya fiddled with the silver button his future self wore, “we have to become a hashira! Right, me? To feed kaa-chan and the kids!”

“Course…” Genya mumbled, patting the younger’s head. “We have to become a hashira.”

“Sanemi!” Genya called out, clutching his new uniform tight. “W- wait!”

“Aah?” A chalky voice met Genya’s still childish one. “Who’re you?”

“Sa- ‘Nemi, it’s me,” he stammered, “your otouto. Genya.”

“I don’t have a brother.” Sanemi spat, eyes glaring viciously, “get lost.”

“W- wait!” Genya reached out to clutch the older’s white sleeve, where the back was decorated with the kanji for kill. “I-”

“Said to get lost, didn’t I?!” Sanemi growled, fist tightening as he yanked his arm back, “so do it. Hashira’s orders.”

“He might be out back,” Genya led his younger self through the hallways, “training or something.”

“Who’s he?!” He asked his older self, who was stepping outdoors, “is it Sanemi?”

“No,” Genya said as nonchalantly as possible, “my teacher. Himejima-san.”

“Is he a hashira?” The younger one stayed with the older one on the unfamiliar pathways.

“Yeah,” Genya grinned, “the strongest of them all.”

“Seriously?!” Genya gasped and jumped, “that means we have a real good chance of becoming a hashira!”

“Himejima-san!” Genya called out, shushing himself to keep the younger from crushing the older’s dreams even more. “I’m back! I was hit by some sort of Blood Demon Art, and my younger self was brought to the present for now!”

“Namu-amida-butsu.” Genya jumped at the deep voice calling out from somewhere, then immediately looked at his older self, who didn’t seem fazed. He trailed after the bigger one, down the riverbank and towards a huge, gushing waterfall. “Hello, Genya. Hello, young Genya.”

“Wow!” Genya semi-whispered to his older self already hidden by the roar of water. “He’s real huge!”

“Have you had breakfast yet?” Genya watched the huge man rub together some praying beads in his palms, withstanding the onslaught of water with three logs on his shoulders, tied to huge rocks.

“Yes, back at the Butterfly Mansion.” Genya explained to his mentor, the younger one in awe of how mature and big he sounded in the future. “I would join in on waterfall training, but…”

“It would not be wise for a young one to enter the waters,” Gyomei finished, “you could go and push the rock around, whilst taking care of your… yourself.”

“Thank you, Himejima-san.” Genya bowed in respect before leading himself away. “C’mon.”

“What’s the rock?” Genya wondered. “You just push it around? That’s called training?”

“Shush,” Genya smiled coyly, “you haven’t seen the rock.”

“A rock?!” His younger self gaped at the thing sitting in the middle of a clearing. “That's not a rock, that's a full on boulder! You’re gonna push that thing around?!”

“All the way around the estate grounds,” Genya rolled up his sleeves, taking a deep breath, “you know what? You wanna sit on top of the rock? I can push you around, too.”

“Can- can you really do that?” Genya trembled, looking between the rock and his own, tiny, frail body. In the future, he’d really be able to shove that thing around?

“Here, try pushing against the rock.” Genya guided the smaller’s body towards it, watching himself struggle to shove the rock. “I can help you up, just sit on the top and sort of grip the rock with your fingertips, so you don’t slide off.”

Genya put his hands underneath the younger’s shoulder, pushing himself upwards onto the rock. The younger one scrambled to the top and found a comfortable position, giving a thumbs up when called upon. He watched as his older self took off his uniform top, then sputtering in absolute shock with the muscles on himself. The bulkiness threw him off just as much as the scars covering his future self’s body, chiselled shape to his form without even tensing up. He was so strong in the future. Future him could compete with Sanemi!

Genya positioned himself against the rock, shoulder pressed up against the stone with both legs implanted into the ground. He took a deep breath. “…shaekoku-gijugikkodokuon-yodaibikushu…”

“Huh..?” The younger peered down the side of the rock, watching as his older, more defined face twisted into something akin to pain, whilst muttering something under his breath. When he was about to call out to the older version of himself, the rock started moving.

It was slow, at first. Just a couple centimetres. But that was better than anything Genya, at the moment frail and poor, could do. Then, he felt the boulder move even more. Genya looked back down to see that they’d moved a good two metres, and his older self didn’t look to be stopping. Actually, he looked to be in pain, but not like shoving the boulder was giving him the pain.

Should Genya interrupt his older self? Was that normal for pushing the boulder? It would have a lot of strain, and the huge man Gyomei had told his older self to get the boulder all around the estate.

“Least… you see scenery…” Genya looked back at his older self groaning out those words and with that, he started looking around from his heightened point of view, where a trail on the ground showed that the path he used to push the rock was a regularly-used one.

Genya huffed and continued repeating the amida-kyo under his breath, quieter than usual so that his younger self wouldn’t have to listen to a very sudden conversion to Buddhism. The faces of the younger Shinazugawa’s swam through his memory, much more formulated and real with his actual younger self being there at the moment.

He looked so innocent. Demons took that from him. Genya groaned and pushed harder, ears buzzing as his babyish face flashed past his memory, looking up at him in wonder. When would he tell himself that he was a failure? He failed to protect his family, he failed to be a good brother, he failed at being a slayer, he would never be a hashira and Sanemi never wanted to look at him again.

“You can do it, Genya!” He stumbled at the small voice cheering him on, a slight whisper. “Go, go, go!”

Genya clenched his jaw and pushed harder, dragging the boulder through the ground and back towards what he always remembered was his start point. He’d successfully made it around the entire estate with a whole child on top of the rock. Heaving, Genya made it back to where the boulder started.

“That was so cool!” Genya laughed as his older self helped him down, Genya running around in circles as his older self leaned on the rock for a breather. “I can’t believe that I can do that in the future! How many of our siblings can you hold up? Is nii-chan stronger than you? How long d’you think until you become a hashira?”

Genya just stumbled away, making the smaller follow right after, still spitting out questions. Gods above, Genya was just so tired. He didn’t get how his younger self could be so innocent. Just six months after said birthday, his eighth, they would all be dead. Sanemi would hold a butcher’s knife over their mother's body and he would call his beloved brother a murderer, Genya would be forced to bury five little, cold bodies on his own, and he would survive off stealing and eating rats.

He couldn’t handle seeing that spark in his own eyes.

“Hello, you two.” Gyomei greeted them as Genya shuffled inside, his child self also bouncing in. “I already started on lunch. Are you alright, Genya?”

“I’m gonna… go lay down.” Genya muttered. “Would you mind… taking care of him- for a little? Sorry, Himejima-san…”

“No matter. Rest well, Genya.” Gyomei rubbed the praying beads in his hands nervously. “Namu-amida-butsu.”

“What’cha making?” Genya peered around the man’s arm, trying to catch a glimpse at the food. “It smells good.”

“Miso,” Gyomei replied, “did you see anything interesting whilst going around?”

“I got to watch me push a huge boulder!” Genya used his own body to showcase, “it was like, thi–is big! No, bigger!”

“Ah. Of course.” Gyomei nodded. “I am blind, however, and cannot see what you are showing, but I understand how big the rocks are.”

“...oh.” Genya mumbled quietly. “Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, young Genya.” Gyomei stirred the soup. “I heard that it would be your birthday the next day, from when you were brought here?”

“Yeah!” Genya grinned. “I’m turning eight! Isn’t that huge? How old are you?”

“Twenty-seven.” Gyomei answered. “If you multiply the age you're turning by two, you get the age your future self is right now.”

“I can’t do math.” Genya replied with no hesitation.

Gyomei paused. “Then, eight and eight put together.”

“I said I can’t do math.” Genya repeated.

“Then how do you know what age you’re turning?” Gyomei wondered.

“Kaa-chan told me.” Genya replied. “Am I able to do math in the future?”

“...I do not know.” Gyomei hummed. He at least taught Genya to write, so why hadn’t he thought of math? Did he just assume that Genya could do basic math, or simply forgot to teach him? “Say, how do you usually celebrate your birthday?”

“Well, Sumi and Teiko usually sew up something,” Genya thought, rolling around on the ground, “and Hiroshi likes to find some sort of cool rock to give. Sanemi uses some spare change to get me some sort of sweet, kaa-chan even comes home a little early!”

Gyomei’s heart panged as the boy continued describing how the Shinazugawa family would usually spend a birthday. Genya, as a teenager, did nothing of the sort. Gyomei would sometimes spot the boy sending off a letter, then heading out to where Gyomei assumed was a visit to a family grave.

A knock on the front door. Gyomei stood, making the child go quiet. “Please stay here and watch the soup. I will go to the door. Namu-amida-butsu.”

Genya took his duty very seriously and went up to the pot, watching the soup bubble and steam. Gyomei headed down his familiar hallway, ending up at the genkan, where a person stood. The aura the person was giving off, though… that was a hashira.

“Namu-amida-butsu.” Gyomei rubbed the praying beads. “What brings you here, Shinazugawa?”

The man remained silent, moving only to Breathe. The rest of him remained still, almost so that if Gyomei wasn’t so strong, he might have had to do a second take to make sure someone was even there. “...I’m here to see.”

“If it is true?” Gyomei pressed. “That a younger Genya has been sent to the future by a Blood Demon Art?”

“Is it?” Sanemi growled.

“Would you like to come meet him yourself?” Gyomei responded.

Sanemi remained quiet. “No. I just want to see.”

“You wouldn’t be able to hide, if you wished to spy.” Gyomei warned. “You would have to make yourself known.”

Sanemi didn’t say anything more, so Gyomei persisted. “He doesn’t seem to have been told the reason he joined the Corps. He has been talking about you nonstop.”

Gyomei heard a skip in Sanemi’s heartbeat, a Breath stuttering in his chest. “Just go meet him. Genya, the current one, is resting.”

Another beat. Sanemi huffed. “Lead the way.”

“Young Genya,” Gyomei called out, making the younger’s head perk up. “Someone is here to see you.”

Genya furrowed his brow until someone else stepped into the room. “Sanemi!”

“O- oi, not so lou-” Sanemi started, only to be tackled in a hug by the child.

“I missed you, ‘Nemi!” Genya’s joy was muffled by Sanemi’s haori. “I got to see so many cool things!”

“R- right…” Sanemi cautiously went to pat the boy’s back, shooting a look up at the Stone Hashira. The man seemed to understand despite his lack of sight, and disappeared out of the room holding the pot of miso soup, most likely to a dining area.

“How’re you, nii-chan?” Genya peered up at his older brother. “Where’d you get the scars? From the bad guys?”

Sanemi blinked back, before slowly ruffling Genya’s mohawk. “Yeah. Lotsa cool stories of battle.”

“Wow…” Genya murmured, until his eye caught on Sanemi’s uniform. “You’re a hashira too!”

Sanemi felt almost overwhelmed by the small child gripping onto him, chatting his ear off. Gods, he missed that. So, so much. If Genya just quit the Corps, Sanemi would be able to experience that kind of nostalgia all the time.

“H- hey, just- take a breather, yeah?” Sanemi gently pushed the child off. Genya stumbled backwards, hanging his head low. Yeah, okay, he was a lot more to handle then the big, mature guy he was gonna become. Of course Sanemi would get used to a more calm, older Genya, right?

“Shi- shoot, Genya…” Sanemi started to console, seeing the disappointed face of his very young brother. “I’m sorry about- I’m sorry, Genya.”

Genya continued hugging himself, making himself smaller. That was what Sanemi always told him to do when the old man returned home after drinking and gambling. Make himself small and unnoticeable.

Sanemi’s eyes widened as he saw what his brother was doing, instantly feeling his heart drop. He just made Genya act like how he usually did when their old man was around. If it really was Genya from right before his eighth birthday, then that piece of shit would still be alive for the next month, before being stabbed out in the streets.

Sanemi lurched forwards on his knees to wrap his tiny brother up in a hug. He could almost feel the confusion radiating off the small child as Sanemi brought him closer, one hand digging into the familiar purple yukata and the other wrapped up in Genya’s hair. “I’m sorry.”

Genya heard the muffled apology coming from Sanemi’s face pressed into his shoulder. Despite his nii-chan’s being so big, with a broader back and deeper voice, Genya could still feel warmth and comfort radiating off Sanemi, because something like that would never cease. Kindness.

“It’s okay!” To comfort his brother more, Genya started patting Sanemi’s back as well, making the man only hold Genya tighter. He smiled innocently and just returned the hug, grinning because Sanemi only ever held him close after their father finished beating them and that would be the first time in a long time that Sanemi had hugged in apology.

Fuck, Sanemi thought, his body was so small. How could a man beat someone as sweet as the kid he was hugging so close at the moment? Fuck, how could he push away someone so sweet as Genya for joining the Corps? Well, he supposed it was for Genya’s own safety. Safety that Sanemi knew the tiny Genya in his arms wouldn’t face just yet.

Sanemi continued cradling Genya in his arms, because fuck, that was the first time they’d touched with such tenderness in years.

Genya peeked through the shoji, watching the younger version of himself get coddled more by the current Sanemi than Genya had felt in years. His insides squirmed and chest tightened as Sanemi continued embracing the child, hugging tightly. He shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn't have called Sanemi a murderer. They could’ve been hugging like that, still, if Genya hadn’t just messed it all up.

Waves of tears started building in Genya’s eyes, though they still refused to tear away from the scene. Sanemi holding his younger self the same way he wanted to be held, his current verison, with all scars and growth and mistakes. He wanted Sanemi to act like that towards him in the current day.

He shut his mouth fast to prevent sobs escaping, lip trembling as tears started rolling down his cheek. His fists clenched and throat burned as the younger one started giggling, swaying around as Sanemi continued to hold him.

They met eyes. The child looked upwards to see his teenage self quivering near the door, spying in on the two. Genya stumbled back and away to prevent his younger self from ruining any hopes he had of the future.

“Hey, ‘Nemi?” Genya asked, trying to pull away to see his older nii-chan. “Why’s future me crying?”

Sanemi tightened his hold, making Genya sputter a little bit with the sheer strength his brother received from fighting bad guys. “Nii-chan, why’s he crying? Hey, nii-chan, are you crying as well? Is that why my back feels sorta wet?”

Sanemi dug his hands deeper, to just preserve himself. He wouldn't just let Genya see him crying, no matter what or when. Genya’s body was so small and thin and frail and beaten, Sanemi wouldn't know how to face the kid again if he pulled away from the hug.

“Nii-chan, let’s go comfort future me!” Genya decided. “C’mon, let’s go! You always comfort me when I’m down!”

Gods. Fuck. Sanemi couldn’t handle just how much joy Genya had. It was so hard to ignore, Corps uniform or not. The child resorted to tugging gently at Sanemi’s hair, fiddling with the white strands whilst also humming Sanemi’s name in an attempt to get them standing again, to find his future self.

Finally, Sanemi pulled away from Genya to quickly wipe his tears away. Genya giggled and waited for Sanemi to finish, then tugged at the man’s calloused fingers. “Let’s go! Himejima-san might know where older me might be!”

Sanemi couldn’t reply as Genya tugged him away, the two of them finding the Stone Hashira in a room just down the hall. Immediately, Gyomei pointed the two of them to look for Genya in his room, then adding instructions to aid them. Genya started humming a lullaby while leading Sanemi, tiny fingers gripping a couple of Sanemi’s using his entire hand.

“Heyyy, heyy, you in here?” Genya started knocking on doors, making Sanemi more and more nervous. “You looked sad! Did you want a hug? Hey, future me, hey!”

The door slid open a crack, Genya’s form barely visible through the gap. Seeing both Sanemi and his younger self, Genya slid it open even further. “That’s… alright. I don’t need a hug, I’m not sad.”

“But you were crying!” Genya protested at his teenage self. Was that how all teenagers acted?

“I- I’m alright, just feeling a little off.” Genya attempted to laugh nonchalantly. Sanemi couldn’t see Genya acting so weak! It would ruin whatever minimal steps Genya had taken to becoming stronger, showing his brother that he was just as capable a slayer as any others. “Besides, I used the time on my bonsai.”

“Bonsai?” Genya perked up, trying to peer into his future room. “You have bonsai?”

“Wanna see?” Genya used the opportunity to distract his younger self, leading the child into the room and towards the window, where all his trees were kept. “Himejima-san told me to do it, as a hobby. Neat, right?”

“Meh, a bit boring.” The younger one shrugged. “How’d you get the leaves to be all nice-shaped and stuff?”

“Trimming,” Genya gestured to the scissors, “pruning, as well. I make the tree look nice in my free time, and it helps my aim become more clear.”

“I guess that could be fun…” the kid mumbled, “like sewing, or something.”

“Exactly.” Genya hummed. “I also have a sewing kit over there.”

“What do you sew?” The younger one asked.

Usually, it was himself after battle. But should Genya really tell that kind of gorey thing to an eight-year-old? “The yukata, whenever it gets torn.”

“After fighting!” The kid’s eyes lit up. “You said that the bonsai also helps your aim? For fighting?”

“Sort of, yeah.” Genya laughed. Sanemi watched the two interact from the doorway, eyes still red. Usually, they would be like that because of dryness, but in that moment, it was because of tears. With a deep, shaky Breath, Sanemi silently stood. He shot one last look at Genya, his baby brother, no matter the age, before shutting the shoji quietly and shuffling backwards.

Genya looked back up at the door as his younger self observed the trees closer up. Sanemi was backing away. From him. The two brothers, matured to their correct ages in their time period, locked eyes.

Suddenly, Sanemi couldn’t back away anymore.

“Hey, ‘Nemi-nii!” The child called out, making the two older ones freeze. “Come look at the bonsai with me!”

Cautiously, Sanemi stepped forwards towards the door again. If he entered, Sanemi knew he would have to drag himself away.

Sanemi opened the door.

The younger Genya was waving Sanemi closer, to look at the funny design the bonsai had when looking at it from a specific angle. The older Genya was staring with wide and surprised eyes, making Sanemi’s heart shatter. Sanemi stepped closer to the child, looking at the bonsai with him, while the older Genya sat back.

Sanemi only wanted a version of Genya that hadn’t called his brother a murderer. A version who wasn’t riddled with scars.

With a Breath, Sanemi pulled Genya closer to him. Genya gasped as his brother brought him closer, the first time they’d touched in years. Sanemi was holding him. As a teenager. Genya remained tense as Sanemi put a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, still paying attention to the child rambling on about whatever it was.

After minutes of Sanemi holding teenage Genya up to his body, he started relaxing into his older brother’s arm. Almost leaning on him, the two sat on the floor in front of Genya’s bonsai that he took care of so gently, as if they were actual children.

“I still don’t get why you two were crying,” Genya crossed his tiny arms, “but you’re hugging right now, so that means everything’s okay!”

It very much did not mean that, but Genya didn’t want to argue with the child. He just had to use his very limited time that Sanemi would allow very carefully.

“I’m tired, though.” The child stretched out on the tatami mats, like a starfish. “I like sleeping! The sun’s so warm, too…”

“I like sleeping, too.” Genya agreed, but he didn’t budge unless Sanemi would show any signs of not wanting to be around sixteen-year-old Genya anymore. When Sanemi made the first moves to get up, Genya immediately jumped off him, scooting away as Sanemi stretched out his limbs.

“Can I have a nap, future me?” Genya requested. “And wake me up? I like being here, but I also like being with the younger ones! Can you bring them over, too?”

Two pairs of eyes stared at younger Genya, sadly. “Maybe when you wake up, ‘kay Gen?”

Teenage Genya looked up at Sanemi and blinked rapidly, while the younger one giggled and made himself comfortable in a patch of sunlight on the floor. “A’ight! Can you kiss me goodnight? Maybe?”

“Course.” Genya felt jealousy warping over his body as his older brother kneeled down to press his lips against the child’s forehead, then patting his head. The feeling then changed to confusion as Sanemi stood and walked over again, then leaning down to press a kiss to Genya’s forehead, as well, before patting his head as well.

“Sleep well,” Sanemi called as he exited the doorway. Eight-year-old Genya giggled in reply while teenage Genya sat there, absolutely floored.

“I can’t wait to start fighting bad guys with ‘Nemi,” Genya breathed, curling up in a ball with his back facing his future self, “lookin’ cool and stuff. Swords and bonsai and pushing rocks.”

Genya couldn’t bring himself to answer as his smaller self dozed off. His body felt so warm. Where Sanemi was pressed up against him felt so good, butterflies filled his stomach and his face felt all fuwafuwa. His heart beat erratically and Genya couldn’t help but shed a couple of joyous tears.

Maybe… their relationship could be salvageable after what Genya said to Sanemi eight years ago?

________________

Genya mumbled under his breath as he stretched, foot accidentally slipping out of his futon and letting in some crisp, winter air. Bareilly opening his eyes, Genya felt little hands starting to shake him awake. “Gen-nii, Gen-nii, happy birthday!”

More choruses of those words sprouted out around the tiny shack, where seven bodies lived. Genya sat himself up as all the younger kids started presenting gifts and a breakfast much larger than what Genya would usually be able to eat.

“Happy birthday, Gen,” Sanemi ruffled the mohawk, a smile covering his face. Genya rubbed his eyes again as everyone continued chattering and laughing. He felt so good, and that rest was so nice… he must’ve had a real good dream.

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