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defjux · 2 years

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200 of my favorite albums that I swear by, from any genre - limited to one per artist. I always wanted to do this since the start of the decade and finally got around to it. I’ve had a lot of different musical obsessions up to this point and periods where i was deep into specific genres so I tried to make sure all of that was represented here. Overall it’s a mix of personal classics that I go back to constantly, albums that helped form my taste, and some recently stuff I love. Didn’t want to stress too much over the order, but i’d say the first 50ish are pretty accurate. I’ll post the list below, and a version of the charts with the titles included. Let me know what you think - any favorites here? What would some of your picks be? Let me know. Peace. Charts with album titles included 1. At the Drive-In - Relationship of Command 2. Organized Konfusion - Stress: The Extinction Agenda 3. Aesop Rock - Labor Days 4. Ghostface Killah - Supreme Clientele 5. Cannibal Ox - The Cold Vein 6. MF DOOM - MM..Food 7. De La Soul - Buhloone Mindstate 8. John Coltrane - A Love Supreme 9. Converge - Jane Doe 10. Billy Woods & Blockhead - Dour Candy 11. The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium 12. Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth - The Main Ingredient 13. Portishead - Dummy 14. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Ire Works 15. Björk - Vespertine 16. El-P - I'll Sleep When You're Dead 17. The Roots - Illadelph Halflife 18. Isis - Wavering Radiant 19. The Pharcyde - Labcabincalifornia 20. Miles Davis - In A Silent Way 21. Edan - Beauty and the Beat 22. Deltron 3030 - Deltron 3030 23. A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders 24. Company Flow - Funcrusher Plus 25. Every Time I Die - The Big Dirty 26. Gospel - The Moon Is a Dead World 27. OutKast - ATLiens 28. GZA/Genius - Liquid Swords 29. DJ Shadow - Endtroducing..... 30. Dälek - From Filthy Tongue of Gods and Griots 31. Stereolab - Dots and Loops 32. Refused - The Shape of Punk to Come 33. Mos Def - The Ecstatic 34. Boredoms - Vision Creation Newsun 35. Freestyle Fellowship - Innercity Griots 36. Redman - Dare Iz A Darkside 37. Armand Hammer - Paraffin 38. Panopticon - Autumn Eternal 39. Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) 40. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - F# A# ∞ 41. Black Star - Mos Def & Talib Kweli Are Black Star 42. Ornette Coleman - Science Fiction 43. Electric Masada - At the Mountains of Madness 44. Orchid - Orchid 45. Alice Coltrane - Journey in Satchidananda 46. Digable Planets - Blowout Comb 47. Grouper - A I A: Alien Observer 48. Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back 49. Charles Mingus - Let My Children Hear Music 50. Camp Lo - Uptown Saturday Night

51. Milo - who told you to think??!!?!?!?! 52. Boris - Flood 53. Stan Getz & João Gilberto - Getz/Gilberto 54. Dr. Yen Lo - Days With Dr. Yen Lo 55. Avantdale Bowling Club - Avantdale Bowling Club 56. zeroh - awfulalterations 57. toe - For Long Tomorrow 58. Sun Ra - Sleeping Beauty 59. Dark Time Sunshine - ANX 60. Kayo Dot - Choirs of the Eye 61. Kate Bush - The Dreaming 62. Boards of Canada - Geogaddi 63. Unwound - Repetition 64. Jeru the Damaja - The Sun Rises In The East 65. Massive Attack - Mezzanine 66. Black Moon - Enta Da Stage 67. Tim Hecker - Harmony In Ultraviolet 68. CunninLynguists - A Piece of Strange 69. Quasimoto - The Further Adventures of Lord Quas 70. Glassjaw - Worship and Tribute 71. Sonny Sharrock - Ask The Ages 72. J Dilla - Donuts 73. Aceyalone - A Book of Human Language 74. D'Angelo - Voodoo 75. Jam Baxter - ...So We Ate Them Whole 76. Pharoah Sanders - Karma 77. Danny Brown - XXX (Deluxe Edition) 78. Gravediggaz - 6 Feet Deep 79. Sonic Sum - The Sanity Annex 80. Death - Symbolic 81. Funkadelic - Maggot Brain 82. Mach-Hommy - DUMPMEISTER 83. Prince Paul - A Prince Among Thieves 84. Nas - Illmatic 85. Grant Green - Idle Moments 86. Gang Starr - Moment Of Truth 87. Agalloch - Ashes Against the Grain 88. O.C. - Word...Life 89. Ne Obliviscaris - Portal Of I 90. Joni Mitchell - Hejira 91. Mr Key & Greenwood Sharps - Yesterday's Futures 92. Little Brother - The Listening 93. Max Roach - Members, Don't Git Weary 94. Cult Favorite - FOR MADMEN ONLY 95. Deftones - White Pony 96. Marvin Gaye - What's Going On 97. Cocteau Twins - Treasure 98. Prince - Sign o' the Times 99. Pageninetynine - Document #8 100. Boldy James & Sterling Toles - Manger on McNichols 101. NoMeansNo - Wrong 102. Fiona Apple - The Idler Wheel... 103. Baroness - Blue Record 104. Drive Like Jehu - Yank Crime 105. Alcest - Écailles de lune 106. Raekwon - Only Built 4 Cuban Linx 107. David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars 108. Madlib - Beat Konducta Vol. 5-6: A Tribute To Dilla 109. Aphex Twin - druqks 110. Electric Wizard - Dopethrone 111. Siah & Yeshua dapoED - The Visualz Anthology 112. Discordance Axis - The Inalienable Dreamless 113. Mastodon - Crack the Skye 114. Juggaknots - Re:Release 115. The Cure - Pornography 116. Wolves in the Throne Room - Two Hunters 117. Erykah Badu - Mama's Gun 118. Fela Kuti - Expensive Shit 119. Blu - Below the Heavens 120. Ohbliv - Retrospective 121. Shibusashirazu Orchestra - 渋星 (=Shibuboshi) 122. United Nations - The Next Four Years 123. Mobb Deep - The Infamous 124. The Chariot - Long Live 125. Serengeti - Ajai 126. Heltah Skeltah - Nocturnal 127. Talking Heads - Remain In Light (Deluxe Version) 128. Autechre - LP5 129. Lil Ugly Mane - THIRD SIDE OF THE TAPE 130. Roc Marciano - Reloaded 131. Yndi Halda - Enjoy Eternal Bliss 132. Albert Ayler - Spiritual Unity 133. Open Mike Eagle & Paul White - Hella Personal Film Festival 134. Melt-Banana - Fetch 135. Bad Brains - Bad Brains 136. Deathspell Omega - Paracletus 137. Nujabes - Modal Soul 138. Nails - Unsilent Death 139. Cavalier - Private Stock 140. Flying Lotus - You're Dead! 141. The Avalanches - Since I Left You 142. Lightning Bolt - Hypermagic Mountain 143. Envy - Insomniac Doze 144. Gojira - From Mars to Sirius 145. The Doppelgangaz - Lone Sharks 146. System of a Down - Toxicity 147. letlive - Fake History 148. Goodie Mob - Soul Food 149. Death Grips - Ex Military 150. Jeromes Dream - Seeing Means More Than Safety 151. Standing On The Corner - Red Burns 152. Hüsker Dü - Zen Arcade 153. maudlin of the Well - Leaving Your Body Map 154. Oddisee - The Good Fight 155. Krallice - Years Past Matter 156. tricot - T H E 157. Gorguts - Obscura 158. Kvelertak - Kvelertak 159. Shabazz Palaces - Black Up 160. Sade - Love Deluxe 161. Opeth - Ghost Reveries 162. The Fall of Troy - Doppelgänger 163. Batsumi - Batsumi 164. Deafheaven - New Bermuda 165. Leonard Cohen - Songs of Leonard Cohen 166. The Number Twelve Looks Like You - Worse Than Alone 167. Dragged Into Sunlight - Hatred For Mankind 168. Earl Sweatshirt - some rap songs 169. Burial - Untrue 170. Mgła - Exercises in futility 171. Emperor - Anthems To The Welkin At Dusk 172. Fugazi - Red Medicine 173. Lord Finesse - The Awakening 174. Cult of Luna - Somewhere Along The Highway 175. Cryptopsy - None So Vile 176. The Ahmad Jamal Trio - The Awakening 177. Bohren & der Club of Gore - Black Earth 178. Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill 179. Bear vs Shark – Right Now, You're In The Best Of Hands 180. Wormrot - Voices 181. Broadcast - Tender Buttons 182. Swans - Swans Are Dead: Live '95-'97 183. Yves Tumor - Heaven to a Tortured Mind 184. AFI - The Art of Drowning 185. Mazzy Star - So Tonight That I Might See 186. Botch - We Are the Romans 187. NEPTUNIAN MAXIMALISM - Éons 188. Sigur Ros - Takk... 189. Rubberoom - Architechnology 190. Herbie Hancock - Sextant 191. Big K.R.I.T. - 4eva Is a Mighty Long Time 192. Oh No - Oh No Vs. Now-Again 193. Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising 194. Hella - Hold Your Horse Is 195. Loma Prieta - I.V. 196. Defcee - Lacuna 197. Genesis Owusu - Smiling with No Teeth 198. Brutus - Nest 199. Bruno Pernadas ‎- Those Who Throw Objects At The Crocodiles... 200. The Koreatown Oddity - Little Dominiques Nosebleed

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hekateinhell · 2 years

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Hello! Just a humble question, if you'd like to answer, I would love to hear your opinion! So: from an artistic point of view, or a writers point of view, what *exactly* makes Devil's Minion so good? Is it the fact that it is so brief? All that is left unsaid? The topic itself? Daniel's voice? The settings? The fantasy? When I first read it, it had such an effect on me, and it has become one of my favourite stories, ever. Yet, if I would want to explain exactly why I wouldn't really now how.

Hi! ❤️

I had to think about this one for a few days if I wanted to answer more than just: "Yes, all of that, everything!" Which I will now attempt to do.

For me, what first struck my fancy was how perfectly Anne captured the dynamic between a vampire (the predator) and a human (the natural prey). This isn't a YA story of the pure, innocent virgin being seduced by the big bad vampire.

We can't really say it's a realistic portrayal since these are obviously fictional monsters--but I feel like there are so many mundane (even conventional) elements that serve to contrast and emphasize the impossible nature of their relationship.

They go to the opera! They watch TV! They take college classes and go to parties together! They fight and make up and feel bad when the other is hurting!

In New York they went tearing to museum openings, cafes, bars, adopted a young dancer, paying all his bills through school. They sat on the stoops in SoHo and Greenwich Village whiling the hours away with anybody who would stop to join them. They went to night classes in literature, philosophy, art history, and politics. They studied biology, bought microscopes, collected specimens. They studied books on astronomy and mounted giant telescopes on the roofs of the buildings in which they lived for a few days or a month at most. They went to boxing matches, rock concerts, Broadway shows.

At the same time, there's very much this persistent Eldritch horror undertone throughout, and it's part of the romance. Daniel loved the evil and darkness he perceived as being part of his lover's predatory nature, and he craved it for himself because he lacked the ability to comprehend the price that came with being such a creature (which, I mean--given Armand's history and everything he'd witnessed--of course, he would want to spare him that!).

Daniel stared hard at the creature before him, this thing that looked human and sounded human but was not. There was a horrid shift in his consciousness; he saw this being like a great insect, a monstrous evil predator who had devoured a million human lives. And yet he loved this thing. He loved its smooth white skin, its great dark brown eyes. He loved it not because it looked like a gentle, thoughtful young man, but because it was ghastly and awful and loathsome, and beautiful all at the same time. He loved it the way people love evil, because it thrills them to the core of their souls. Imagine, killing like that, just taking life any time you want it, just doing it, sinking your teeth into another and taking all that that person can possibly give.

Anne was also extremely intentional in establishing the S&M power dynamics between Armand and Daniel and how it all played out.

The ten-year relationship between Armand and Daniel is the epitome of the fluctuations of dominance and submission. Each struggles for both surrender and control. Armand likes to be dominated and wants a teacher, although he is in fact a powerful vampire who can torment and even kill Daniel at will. When Daniel feels strong, he walks away from the relationship, but inevitably he disintegrates and surrenders to Armand, who is always ready to come and get him. They play a game, for each has something the other wants. Daniel describes himself as a mortal slave, the "devil's minion," but Armand is as much a slave to him.

The culminating scene in the Villa of the Mysteries expresses this, for when Armand finally yields and makes Daniel a vampire, he gives up his masterful position. He gives in to what Daniel wants. The S&M relationship shifts. It is while in the state of surrender that Armand performs the Dark Trick.

[X]

Further, she said that it was writing Armand with Daniel that changed how she saw Armand's character: "He'd been a horrible person in [IWTV] but I think he's a good person with Daniel. I loved his affair with Daniel." I adore that, and it shines through in the text. Anne was all about humanizing the vampire, and that's exactly what Daniel did in loving Armand and in being loved by him in return.

Ugly fights, terrible fights, finally, Armand broken down, glassy-eyed with silent rage, then crying softly but uncontrollably as if some lost emotion had been rediscovered which threatened to tear him apart. “I will not do it, I cannot do it. Ask me to kill you, it would be easier than that. You don’t know what you ask for, don’t you see? It is always a damnable error! Don’t you realize that any one of us would give it up for one human lifetime?

As far as I know, there's nothing quite like Devil's Minion within the vampire literary genre. It is as realistic a depiction of a real-word type human/vampire relationship as you can get.

I do agree that it being such a short chapter probably does play a part! Anne didn't have a chance to fuck it up and just about every sentence is loaded with information that tells us so much about those two, separate and together (I'm compiling a list because it's ridiculous). And yet, yes, there's still so much left unsaid. It haunts me.

#that was such a great question thank you for asking it and i hope i somewhat answered!#vc #you ask and hekate answers #daniel molloy #armand #armand/daniel #mildly meta

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bubblegum-blackwood · 9 months

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Vamptember Day 18 - Fairy Tale

I expanded on that Red Riding Hood retelling I wrote for Marius/Armand week! Here's an excerpt:

A shadow loomed, blocking out the silvery light; he turned in the snow to see a man draped in brilliant scarlet, the moon behind his head like a twisted mockery of a halo around his flowing mane of white-blonde hair. His eyes were a very light blue, intense and piercing, seemingly seeing into Andrei’s very soul. A dim thought came to him, that the man was very beautiful, almost inhumanly so. He wore no gloves, and his hands were large, with wickedly curved black claws and a generous helping of white hair. “Hello,” he said in a deep, sensuous voice, and Andrei could have sworn the vapour that swirled out of his mouth took the shape of a skull before dissipating. “What are you doing out here all by yourself in the middle of the night, little boy? You shouldn’t be where the wolfsbane blooms.”

“Please help me, I’m lost, I got separated from my father,” he clutched the ikon with aching hands, so cold even through his gloves that he could hardly move his fingers from their position curled around the bundle, and his voice trembled. Was his father dead? In all likelihood, he could be. “And I can’t - my cloak is stuck.”

“Oh, so you’re all alone, are you?” The man asked, kneeling down and running a claw across Andrei’s cheek, making the boy shudder again. He smiled, revealing a mouth full of cruel, sharp teeth, and Andrei’s brown eyes widened. What sort of beast had he just called over to himself?

“Your eyes betray your confusion,” the man went on. “You are wondering . . . am I friend or am I fiend?”

Andrei tried to back up, but he couldn’t will his legs to move, and the sharp tug came again from his snagged cloak. “What are you? What are you going to do to me?”

Again he pet the boy’s face with his big hand, which was incredibly warm despite having no protection from the cold. “You’re mine, sweet child,” he laughed dangerously, sensuously, curling long fingers around Andrei’s arm. “Your heart is mine.”

“Wh-what?” His heart, already struggling against the cold, began to beat faster.

“There’s no use resisting, pretty little boy,” he tightened his grip, smiling at Andrei’s shout of pain. “What a lovely face you have, what a lovely mouth. Your lips, they look so soft to kiss - I’d love to kiss you. My kiss is the kiss of death, and your final kiss belongs to me.”

“No,” the boy whimpered, breaths coming quick and shallow. “What a pretty little sacrifice they’ve left for me,” he tapped Andrei on the nose with one hot claw. “I shall enjoy you so. The snow makes such a lovely altar, don’t you think? The perfect wedding bed for me to take you on. It will look so beautiful all draped in scarlet.”

Read the whole thing on AO3!

#vc #vamptember #marius de romanus #armand

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monstersinthecosmos · 1 year

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May I ask you at what point it's clear Anne wrote/decided that Armand was physically a teenager? He doesn't seem to be written specifically as one during IWTV (especially) or even QOTD -- possibly why he's portrayed as a grown man in the early comic books and in the 1994 film?

Okay hahah full disclosure I’m writing this at work instead of working and I don’t have books with me to pull quotes so use your imagination or if anyone wants to jump in with some quotes please feel free!

So in IWTV he’s just described as a young man, and Louis doesn’t go crazy telling us too much about what he looks like. I have a few thoughts about this, and about how it influenced the movie and other incarnations of Armand:

Louis has spent most of his vampire life with a grown woman who looks like a 5 year old, so BIG FUCKIN DEAL LOL, wow ur 17? Get in line.

The movie specifically made him older & more spooky old world looking for the visual contrast, also to sidestep Louis’s rebound love interests both being children/young.

I don’t think we should get too nitpicky about the comic books like let’s, just. Lmao. Let’s leave that one.

By the time he shows up in TVL is when he goes from being described as “young man” to “young boy”.

I lied I do have this one quote:

This was a boy, as I had said, and he had a head of long curly hair, and he walked very straight and very simply through the silvery light and into the church. He hesitated for a moment. And by the tilt of the head, it seemed he was looking up. And then he came on through the nave and towards us, his feet making not the faintest sound on the stones. He moved into the glow of the candles on the side altar. His clothes were black velvet, once beautiful, and now eaten away by time, and crusted with dirt. But his face was shining white, and perfect, the countenance of a god it seemed, a Cupid out of Caravaggio, seductive yet ethereal, with auburn hair and dark brown eyes.

So there’s like, 12 years or whatever that she took between books and that gives her a lot of time to let her mental image and idea of the character to evolve, but also just her writing style is so different. I remember Anne saying that she also had Stella from The Tales of Hoffmann in mind when she wrote Armand, so he evolved from “ageless & androgynous” to “gleaming manikin of a young boy” !

For a visual reference, this is Moira Shearer as Stella, which Anne said was Armand in her mind:

And this is the painting Lestat mentioned:

But I think we are all aware of the tonal shift phenomenon between IWTV & TVL where IWTV is this like, heavy melancholy Gothic tome and then Lestat just shows up and fucking wrecks the place. I don’t recall ever hearing her talk about this aspect of Armand and I don’t know if she had it in her mind the whole time, even if Louis didn’t take the time to describe it in detail the way Lestat does. I’d love to know how much of this was in her mind the whole time and if anyone has clues please let us know!!!!!!!

TLDR to answer your question, it’s ambiguous in IWTV and obvious in TVL.

HOWEVER.

I have this crack theory lmfao. !!!!!!!!!! About how Prince Alexi in The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty is also an auburn haired teenager, and how it was written in between the two VC books.

I mean like. Anne can say anyone has auburn hair but it’s just such a staple for Armand 2 ICONIC so how are you NOT gonna wonder about it when she’s writing BDSM porn? Idk.

There’s really no evidence for this except me with my Charlie Day board but sometimes I wonder if that break between books influenced her idea of him at all, and what impact it had on her prose for when she returned to Lestat, and I always wonder if they’re connected at all. IT JUST SEEMS SUSPICIOUS TO ME.

Like I mean. I think, there’s lots of teenagers in her books, so maybe this isn’t really much of a coincidence. But. I must wonder!

#vampire chronicles #armand #interview with the vampire #the vampire lestat #the claiming of sleeping beauty #anne rice #tvl quotes #vc quotes #moira shearer

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herproblem · 2 years

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Be Careful What You Asked For | Armand x Daniel

In 1973, in a seedy bar in San Francisco, Daniel locked eyes with a beautiful man with incredibly round eyes and time stopped.

And then he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

It stayed on his mind how the man - who Louis referred to as Rashid – held his gaze for a slightly too-long time.

He was on his mind as he disappeared up the gothic stairs of the apartment with Louis for their interview.

He was on his mind as he spent the night in there. The big brown eyes hiding a fiery burst of something underneath. The perfect flawless skin and coffee lips.

He was on his mind as Daniel pulled on his clothes climbing out of Louis’ bed and headed out the door early the next morning.

Rashid appeared very suddenly in front of him in the hallway. It was almost like he manifested him.

“Erm- excuse me-“ Daniel said, suddenly feeling extremely awkward. “I was just letting myself out, um-“. The man just calmly gazed at him.

“Rashid.”

“Rashid was it?”

Rashid simply looked at him with a bit of amusement. He nodded. “I hope you had a good….. interview.”

“Why didn’t you join us?” Daniel blurted out.

Rashid raised his brow at that.

Daniel’s cheeks got warm. He considered explaining that he meant the interview and not anything else, and then quickly decided that was not a good idea. “Umm… I’m seeing myself out.”

Rashid watched him fiddle with the pill bottle that he’d been clutching in his fist this entire time. Suddenly Daniel felt like he couldn’t bear to keep holding it. “See ya,” he casually muttered.

“I will see you.” Rashid said as he watched Daniel put the small plastic container down on a mahogany table and walk out of the front door.

Daniel couldn’t stop thinking about him in 2022 after he woke up from the most vivid dream he’d ever had.

In a strange way, he wasn’t that shocked when the beautiful creature had levitated several feet in the air in front of him. Louis’ declared words of love in particular had been disconcerting to him but he wasn’t sure why.

After the exertions of the ‘day’, Louis was having a long map.

Daniel spent the many hours that stretched after in the reading room, sat very still. Watching the vampire with the big amber and ruby eyes who was calmly filing through the archives in the high bookshelves.

Finally Armand said it, without turning to face him: “Is there a reason you keep staring at me?”

“You’ve just revealed yourself to be 500 years old.”

“That’s not all it is, is it?”

Daniel blinked.

Now he turned to him and floated down to join him on the floor. “You’ve been lingering before that was uncovered.”

“Trying to figure you out.” The vampire had almost certainly messed with his memories of that night, and possibly many nights after.

“Yes you’ve always tried that.” Armand was smiling now, his eyes aglow like gems. Finally they addressed the elephant in the room. “Louis has calmed down. He won’t hurt you. And while I may not be able to hold him back now, you know I never would hurt you. I would never cross that line.”

Daniel narrowed his eyes. “Wiping my fucking memories was tiptoeing safely around the line though?”

This was the first thing that finally created a crack in Armand’s porcelain, angelic facade. Pain emerged in his eyes.

“Well, you should be careful what you asked for my Daniel.”

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #armand #armand x daniel #fanfic #you don't understand I am obsessed with the show versions of these two #I am extremely ready for season 2 #He needs to f*ck that old man

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homospockual · 2 years

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still can’t believe they cast the human embodiment of the autism creature as armand and then covered up his big beautiful brown eyes with contacts. sad!

#amc iwtv #assad zaman #armand de romanus #anne rice

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kilimesoftly · 2 years

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iwtv is all about tragedies and for me the worst of all is losing to see assad interpreting armand with his big beautiful brown eyes

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #armand #im gonna miss him without the contacts sm :/ god im not one of your strongest soldiers so pls help me

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apoptoses · 1 year

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One of the many things Anne said over the years that has always haunted me is how Daniel deliberately left out a lof of things about Armand from IWTV. Specifically about his looks. He's described as being simple, beautiful and having dark eyes but not much else, and at first I thought that maybe Anne hadn't gone into detail because she hadn't fleshed out the character that much, but the fact that she rationalized it as Daniel very intentionally leaving that type of information about Armand out of the audience's reach is SO fascinating to me because... at that point they'd already begun their cat and mouse game and were beginning to fall for each other, so Daniel getting all possessive (and protective dare I say???) about Armand is just so sdjfhjsfjskhdsjk. In his mind, the world was ready for the goriest, most horrific aspects of Louis' tale, but it wasn't ready to know just how beautiful Armand was.

What a timely ask, anon. I've been having a lot of (literal and metaphorical) death of the author thoughts lately.

I think it's really hard to say what Anne intended to do at any given time. She was very open about the fact that she outlined little, just tended to sit down at the keyboard and see what happened, and so I think people can go around and around with these continuity issues until kingdom come. But the truth of it is like...she wrote about these vampires for nearly 50 years, she probably forgot some stuff and made up some other stuff to try to bridge those gaps.

I personally assume the Daniel keeping these details to himself thing was something she said to cover why this info was coming out in playboy vs an actual book but it is a really fun think to think about, isn't it?

(being completely honest, when I wrote that line in my fic about Daniel hoarding the details of Armand's appearance for himself I was just making shit up, I didn't even realize Anne had said anything like that until after lol So nice to know she and I shared a braincell for that one brief moment)

My personal head canon is that some he left out because his editors were like 'dude, this book is getting way too long and frankly this is gratuitous' (like that story that ended up in playboy? Daniel was desperate for some cash to travel on and so he dragged that sordid bit of smut out of his drafts and tossed it in the mail). The rest- god, he just really couldn't believe anyone could be that good looking. Maybe he assumed Louis had idealized him in his mind, maybe he decided no reader would find someone so beautiful palatable (especially in light of some of the things Armand let happen).

And then also a secret third thing, where Daniel has always kinda had a thing for redheads with big brown eyes and shit, did Louis know that about him and describe Armand like that just to mess with him or is there really some hot little blood sucking guy running around out there, being the smoke show of his dreams?

It's fun to wonder about, like it's fun to wonder about what all Lestat and Daniel left out of that chapter in queen of the damned. I hate that we don't have more content from them but I do love how many gaps we can fill in ourselves.

#like how many smut scenes were in devil's minion that lestat either mentally blocked out #or kept for vampire spank bank material #or had *his* editors be like lol we cannot print this human getting vampire fucked five times in ten pages #thoughts that haunt me at night #and keep me typing fic #apoptoses answers

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starshine-shimmyshufflesmile · 9 months

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Not actually mistakable for brown in any universe

"Berger: One thing Rolin wanted was to go back to the source material regarding the color of their eyes because Anne Rice says what their eyes look like. At first, I was designing other things and I wanted all the vampires to have individual eyes. I didn’t want them all to be yellow eyes or red eyes. So we went back to the source material and did designs on the actors via Photoshop that were more accurate to what she had written."

An Actual Quote

from AMC IWTV makeup artist who can't tell BROWN EYES from cheetoballs nor apparently source material from his ass

Armand's actual beautiful big brown eyes

An actual clown

#amc interveiw with the vampre #interveiw with the vampire #amc iwtv #Armand #assad zaman #You're a clown RJ #Seriously RJ you went through that much trouble to mess it up that bad?#Thanks for forcing me to watch your show in black and white RJ

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bandedbulbussnarfblat · 2 years

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Temporary

They're fighting again.

Daniel doesn't even remember how the fight started, only how it ended. And it ended ugly. He may have told Armand that he was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

After that, Armand had tears in his eyes. It had instantly made Daniel feel like shit, but Armand asked him to leave when he tried to apologize.

So now he's ate a bar, pissed off and guilty and once again desperate for Armand's affection. He hopes that Armand didn't mean forever when he asked him to leave.

“I recognize that look. Girl trouble?”

It's close enough, so Daniel says back “The worst kind.”

He turns to look at the stranger who spoke and it's a woman around his age. Big brown hair, clear gray eyes. One of her eyebrows is half blonde. She's pretty, in a way. Her nose is too big and her mouth too wide for her to truly be beautiful, but she's easy on the eyes. She's got shit for tits, but she isn't wearing a bra under her black tank top and Daniel can see the press of her nipples against the fabric. She's wearing tight jeans that show her shapely legs off. Not an unappealing person to spend his evening with.

“Yeah, same.” The woman clicks her beer bottle to his.

Daniel acts on impulse saying “I show you mine if you show me yours?”

She smiles and it lights her whole face up. Boyfriend—ex boyfriend now—proposed to me. Didn't like my answer.”

“Ouch,” Daniel says. “Mine's a bit complicated. Gives me everything except the one thing I want.”

“Commitment?” she guesses. And isn't that what it is in the end? Daniel wants to be with Armand forever, Armand only wants Daniel a little while. It's why he won't turn him—Daniel isn't his everything the way Armand is his.

“I want us together forever, they don't want to do what it takes to make that happen.”

She peers at him. She's already a little drunk, Daniel realizes. Well, he'll just have to catch up. He chugs his bottle down and signals for another. “I'll tell you what I told my fellow,” she says. “You can either waste your time chasing someone who will only ever see you as temporary, or you can find someone who sees you as permanent.”

That's...probably good advice, actually. Daniel looks her over head to foot. Decides, why the hell not? “Wouldn't mind finding something temporary right now.”

She grins, takes a slow swallow of her beer. Sticks out her hand to take his. “The name's Alice. Wanna come back to mine?”

His key doesn't work when he comes back home the next night. It isn't the first time Armand has changed the locks on him, but Daniel hadn't expected it to happen so soon. He came prepared though; he's brought Armand a gift.

Daniel knocks on the door. “Armand?”

It's difficult to knock and keep the box in his arms, but he manages. It's an espresso machine. Not a typical apology gift, but Armand went through a phase with blenders and microwaves. Daniel figures he can't go wrong with kitchen appliances.

He hears Armand moving on the other side of the door. “I'm still angry with you, Daniel.”

Daniel shifts the box in his arms and sighs. He was really hoping not to have to go rounds with Armand today. “Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, okay? I'm a dick.”

“Go away, Daniel.”

Daniel wonders if Armand really kicks him out—and he never really does, he just needs space sometimes, that's all—he can get Alice to let him crash with her again tonight. He left with less than a hundred bucks cash on him, and he doesn't have anyone he can spend the night with. “Please, baby. Let me make it up to-”

“Whose Alice?” And right, mind reading. Armand typically doesn't do it as often now, now that Daniel earned his love. Except for when they argue, because he isn't above cheating, the bastard.

“She's nobody, baby. It didn't mean anything.”

Armand is quiet for a long moment, then he says mildly, “Then you won't mind if I kill her?”

Shit. Shit. He likes Alice. She's good people. Certainly not someone who deserves to die because he fucked up. “Aw, come on. Don't take it out on her. It's me you're mad at.”

Armand says nothing. Shit shit shit.

“I brought you a present,” Daniel tries. He sits down the box when Armand doesn't answer. “You gonna let me in?”

“No.”

Daniel swears. Fuck this. He's getting in one way or another. He needs to make things right with Armand. So he goes around to the back door. It's also locked, and his key doesn't work. But the back door has a small window built into it, covered by thick, blackout dark curtains.

He punches the window. It hurts like hell, but it cracks. He hits it again, and the glass shatters, leaving a small hole. Daniel pushes his arm through and unlocks the door, pushes his way inside.

Armand is there in the kitchen waiting for him. He's looking at him with dark, dilated eyes. “You're bleeding.”

And Daniel is, scratches all the way up his arm to his shoulder. His hand has broken glass smashed into it, and there's a wicked gash across his knuckles. He barely notices. “You're worth it.”

Armand makes a small noise, then launches himself into Daniel's arms. One moment he is across the room, and the next he's kissing Daniel. Daniel wraps his uninjured arm around his waist and kisses him back like he'll die if he doesn't. Armand kisses him like he wants to devour him, biting and hungry. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” Daniel pants against his mouth.

Then he's being manhandled until he's bent over the counter, and Armand is kicking his legs apart. Armand takes him there in the kitchen, injured hand hanging off the counter, and other twisted behind his back and held in place by Armand. His face is mashed into the counter-top and his pants are only around his knees. Armand doesn't touch him, other than the hand in his hair holding him down and the one around his wrist. He fucks him, rough and deep, until Daniel is a crying, desperate, incoherent mess. Only then does he let him touch himself and come.

Later, Armand cleans and bandages his wounds. His blood would heal Daniel right up, but Daniel knows better than to ask. This peace is too fragile.

“Are you going to see her again?”

Armand sounds disinterested, like he couldn't care less. But if that were true, he wouldn't be asking. Daniel runs a hand through his hair and tucks a strand behind his ear. “No, I'm all yours. I promise”

Armand glances up at him. He's rooting around in Daniel's head to see if he's telling the truth. Daniel lets it happen without complaint; he's already in the dog house, he can grant Armand some leeway.

After a moment, Armand smiles. “Alright, I believe you.”

Daniel wraps an arm around his waist and rests their foreheads together. “We good now?”

“We're good.”

This time, he almost believes it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

read here on ao3

#interview with the vampire fic #daniel/armand #armand #daniel molloy

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lehdenlaulu · 1 year

Text

Hah. I just realized I still have 'Armand' listed in my phone contacts.

You see, as a teenager, one of my best friends was this half Ukrainian Jewish guy, very beautiful, with big dark eyes and a mass of shoulder-length brown curls. He even had this picture that was taken when he was around 15 that looked like a daguerreotype straight from 1890s or something, just him in dark old-fashioned formal clothes and a lit candle in black and white, looking angelic as anything.

So it just felt appropriate to dub him 'Armand', I suppose. He's a good dude, though, no unhinged stalker tendencies as far as I'm aware. 😆

#personal stuff

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manie-sans-delire-x · 2 years

Note

Who’s YOUR favorite vc vamp and why?

Sorry this took a week, I was on vacation and wanted to actually give a decent answer since you gave such a good one.

Armand as well!! Or my favorite name of his- Amadeo. I haven't actually read TVA yet, so once I do I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say, but basically I find him to be the most tragically beautiful and endearing, and I relate to him the most.

I love that Armand essentially “lost his god” three, four times. (Nice tragedy bro.) First being raised devoutly Christian as a child- “all he knew was [I forgot the full quote] and God”- then having that ripped away from him by the abduction, being sold to the brothel and sexually abused, being severely beaten and left for dead when he refused. Then Marius appearing to him like a god, saving him and whisking him away and teaching him all this fine art and education and giving him everything- (the cruelty and Marius’s narcissism in naming him Amadeo- “Loved by God”?)- then losing Marius, again in a traumatic kidnapping fashion. Then the Children introducing him to Satanism and brainwashing him- he gained a new God, getting that whole belief system, understanding of reality, and way of life (for 300 yrs!!) shattered to bits in one day by Lestat. He then basically wants Lestat to be his new god and show him a new way of life/give him a new identity. And for the first time in his long life, he’s left without one when Lestat calls him out on this and denies him (one of my favorite parts and, I think, possibly one of Lestat’s kindest and most selfless moments, even if Armand resented him for it.)

His Amadeo in Venice days and relationship with Marius also remind me of one of my OC’s- Kina Sintav from the Elder Scrolls universe. I made her before I ever read VC, but they have quite a few similarities. Namely, being in a dark, murderous cult and their almost childlike reliance and dependence on (due to childhood trauma), extreme loyalty and attachment to, sexual seduction of, submissiveness to, and genuine love, respect, and admiration of an older, occasionally abusive master, who is also their savior from a terrible situation and gave them much more than they ever knew before in their lives, who ends up being traumatically ripped away from them. Also the whole weird, kinda creepy sexual religious vibe and power dynamic going on. (She is an adult in her late twenties/early thirties though, and I want the relationship to be much more of a partnership and dark tragic romance than an abusive or predatory one. She’s also a lot less innocent than 17 yr old human Armand was.)

I don't want to write a whole essay so I'm just gunna list out the things I relate to him about:

1- Physical appearance- auburn hair, pale skin, big brown eyes

2- (seemingly) Eternally youthful appearance-we both look younger than our age (I also relate to Claudia because of this because I sometimes resent it lol)

3- Sexual trauma, although luckily to much different extents

4- Acting seductive to older men, general seductive behavior

5- Enjoying bdsm lmao and relationship control dynamics (in different ways too- Marius, Daniel)

6- Flat affect

7- Using people (Daniel) and items around him, general impulsive careless nature- devouring then throwing aside- his cult members, Lestat’s books

8- Having to be given an identity, lack of own identity

9- Becoming obsessed with certain people/things

10- Need for control and previously having a lack of it

11- Childlike curiosity, strange innocence

12- Violence, sadism (at least emotionally)

13- Night Island!! If I were incredibly rich that's absolutely something I would create, I've thought about it before.

14- Style- I would definitely lure suicidal people if I were a vamp, just for the poetic beauty of it all. I actually thought about this before when I thought about if vamps had psychic power. Would kill them in a lot of other ways too though, try it all. I would also find a victim like Daniel, I adore that dynamic.

#asks #the vampire chronicles #vc #the vampire armand #oc kina #armand

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bubblegum-blackwood · 11 months

Text

VC Kink Week - Day 5 - Play Party

"Three's Company"

It was such a foreign, such a fascinating sight, watching Daniel invite himself into Marius’s lap like that, watching Marius allow him to do it. Watching the way they smiled at each other, the way it lit up their eyes, both of their beautiful eyes that Armand loved so much. Watching as Daniel whispered something in Marius’s ear that made them both giggle like schoolgirls, Daniel nipping at Marius’s earlobe playfully, with such ease that almost inspired envy, jealousy. His violet eyes landed on Armand watching them from the doorway.

“Oh hey, Armand.”

Marius turned his head to look, hands resting so perfectly on either of Daniel’s ass cheeks, as if they were made to fit there. He smiled hesitantly at his fledgling, saying nothing.

Daniel asked, “Did you need something?”

Armand blinked and bit his lip. “No,” debating whether he should add on, I was just looking.

They sat in awkward silence for a bit, Daniel playing idly with a lock of Marius’s grey-blonde hair, and eventually Armand made to leave. It was death to him to have his mind closed to both of them, especially in a situation like this.

“Armand,”

He stopped, turned at the sound of Daniel’s voice. “I’m going to get some fresh air,” he offered up as an explanation, and he walked away and out onto the balcony, running his hands through his loose auburn waves with a deep breath.

Back in the house, Marius and Daniel were having a debate all in their minds, a private conversation that to any outsider would just look like they were staring lovingly into each other’s eyes, which they were also doing. Finally Daniel said “Then go get him, I’ll be waiting for you” out loud and got off of Marius, and the two parted ways for the time being.

Marius found Armand on the balcony and stopped a few feet away from him, hesitating. After a brief period of silence, he said, “Hello,”

Armand finally turned to look at him, the ghost of a soft smile playing across those plump, perfect lips. “Hello, Master,” he said, and his voice was as musical and angelic as Amadeo’s had ever been.

And yet still Marius hesitated. He tried a few times to start, not daring to get any closer, and eventually he gave up with a defeated sigh and a small smile. “Good evening.”

“Good evening,” Armand nodded back, and Marius walked back inside, facepalming. He just couldn’t find the right words to say!

Daniel was very disappointed in Marius when he walked into the bedroom with nobody in tow. He sat up, rested his fists on his bare hips. “Where’s my maker?”

“I didn’t know how to ask him.”

“So you didn’t,”

Marius shrugged helplessly, and Daniel groaned. “Really? You scared yourself out of it or something? What the hell, old man? Guess I’ll have to do it myself,” he grabbed Marius’s long fur-lined red coat from its hanger and wrapped his naked body with it, going out in search of Armand. The fur was cool and soft against his skin, and it certainly got him in the mood.

Armand was still on the balcony.

“Armand,”

The boy vampire turned to face his fledgling. “Lover, what was that all about?”

“The old man chickened out,” Daniel sighed. He felt like a kindly old grandma clutching a shawl against her breast with the way he held Marius’s cloak closed over his lean form. “He was supposed to invite you to come watch us in his room.”

Armand blinked with surprise.

“Come on, boss,” Daniel grinned, moving a bit closer. “It’ll be just like old times. Only with significantly less come and significantly more blood.”

He coaxed the faintest smile onto Armand’s usually expressionless face with that comment; there were the beginnings of a familiar sparkle in his big brown eyes. “Are you sure my maker doesn’t mind?”

“I promise, he’s all on board,” Daniel assured. “I think he’s just still a little awkward, what with you two trying to get back into the swing of things and all. He doesn’t know where he stands, he’s scared he’s gonna fuck it up. But he wants you back just as much as I do, boss. He loves you.”

Armand’s full pink lips twitched again, and he leaned up on his tiptoes to plant a kiss on Daniel’s mouth. “All right. I’ll go with you.”

“You wanna watch?”

“I always love watching you.”

It was Daniel’s turn to hide a smile as he held his hand out for Armand to take, and they walked to Marius’s room side-by-side, both wishing they could be in the other’s mind. When Daniel pushed the door open with his free hand, letting the cloak fall to the floor in the process, Marius looked up at them with hesitant, hopeful eyes, his shirt discarded on the carpet. Daniel could feel Armand drinking them both in as he shut the door and hung Marius’s coat back up in its place, feel those brown eyes rove hungrily along the curve of his ass and thigh, follow the path of fine blonde hair that started at Marius’s chest and dipped down past the waistband of his pants. Marius had taken the chair from his office and placed it a few feet away from the bed, and Armand slid onto it with all the lithe grace of a panther like the thing was his throne, one leg crossed over the other, back straight, hands resting regally on the arms of the chair. It was a large, high-backed chair, and it dwarfed him, but that did nothing to downplay how intimidating Armand could be when he affixed you with that icy stare of his.

Daniel sat down on the bed next to Marius, sliding his arms around his maker’s maker’s wait and smiling up at him. “Hi,” he said.

Read the rest on AO3! If you liked it, please consider leaving kudos and/or comments, it would be much appreciated! Let me know what you enjoyed reading!

#vckinkweek #vc kink week #vc #armand #daniel molloy #marius de romanus

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zahra-kha · 3 years

Text

Dear Diary 25

Bad news I guess: Sahrin has a lead on Armand and they’re going to look into it. I guess he got seen trying to sell some stuff near Buscarron’s Druthers. They’ll be back in a few days.

Meanwhile, Sai and Esila went to investigate that weird note and see if they were any clues. Sai especially was adamant about not letting my friends get more involved than they already have, and that this was a troupe matter. She also thought it was a trap. It didn’t sit right with me, so I think I want to contact Gail, Tamala, and Jasper and see what they think. It’s not like I want to go behind their backs or anything it’s just...I want answers, you know? And I don’t think it’s right to cut my friends out when they literally brought me out of a...basically a coma!

That’s the bad news. The good news is that this week has been amazing! Amazing!!!

So I’ve been getting ready for this little ladies thing that I mentioned in my other entry that Quin talked about. I had signed up for it and went all in on everything meaning I was performing too! Was so nervous about it I can’t even begin! So anyway, we all got together and went shopping and I had soooo much fun!

We all met up at the shopping center and hung around until everyone showed up. I don’t really know how the subject turned from Jasper being our bag carrier to him trying on clothes but whatever, it worked out and honestly it’s not really a shopping trip until we get some unwilling sacrifice to try on clothes. And yes I had some selfish motivation at play I will not lie I genuinely think he has a nice figure and it is an absolute waste he doesn’t show it off more often. And yes I told him that, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to tell a friend they’re attractive.

I also came to the realization that Tyme - may the gods bless her beautiful, wholesome heart - has horrible, awful, terrible, fashion sense. Or at least she likes really gaudy things. I think our eyes were seeing stars from some of the items she picked out. I know if we had picked some of her suggestions for Jasper the poor guy may have just fled the scene. He looked understandably afraid for his life.

I really liked the store we went to, they had a wide variety of items to choose from, from casual to formal. Tamala, Gail, and I were able to find dresses that we liked after trying on a variety of things. Eir showed up looking for things and he took the first dress I tried on for...I have no idea. I don’t try to understand that man.

I loved Gail and Tamala’s outfit choices. They looked so pretty. Gail has this regal presence to her, I guess from her noble upbringing. (Her birthname isn’t Gail? Or something? More on that later) Tamala chose an outfit that brings out her bright personality. I told her yellow would look good on her.

I love my dress. Red is my favorite color and I’ve never really been much for dresses so this was fun to do. I’m not sure if I’ll ever wear it again but I’d like to. I paid so much gil for it I’d really, really like for this to not just be something that sits in my wardrobe!

(And I got complimented! It feels so silly to get flustered over something so simple but it’s a good feeling when the person you like says something nice to you).

So I had my dress and I managed to get shoes, accessories, and makeup! They had a really good deal going and apparently we used Penelope’s discount? Girl shops there enough to have a solid on that. So Gail and I got together all sneaky like and after finding Jasper something he could wear, got a different color of each since we couldn’t decide on which one looked better. So long as it wasn’t brown. Gods, the man loves brown which is fine it does look good on him and works for blending in and out - but expand your wardrobe sir!

So anyway after that and Eir harassing Tamala and pretty much anyone he could irritate - oh wait I forgot about Tyme backflipping her way into getting shoes. That was a team effort between Quin and Eir. Because of course it was.

Poor Tyme. I’m glad she got the shoes though, they were pretty, and I did try to pick out a pair that fit her tastes.

So after we went shopping and stressed out the poor moogle receptionist (I think she hates Tamala), we went out to eat at this place that served uh, burgers and pizza? I’ve heard of both before but never really had an opportunity to really try it out. The burgers were interesting, greasy and filling. The pizza was also really good! Jasper gave me a slice of his since it’s big and easy to share with others. It’s got a rich sauce and the toppings blend well together.

Gail’s ex showed and it started getting a bit awkward since I got the vibe that Gail found him...uh, uninteresting? On top of that I’ve met him a few times but he didn’t remember me at all. It seemed like unless prompted, his main focus was on Gail. I can’t really comment on their relationship since it’s not my place to do so, but it was a bit uncomfortable.

I was starting to get a bit tired at that point, so I gave Jasper the other burger I had ordered (okay, I actually gave it to him because the others were talking about some grotesque stuff and I had a bet with Jasper that I’d have enough food left over for him, but I ended up losing my appetite so bets were off after that) and headed out. I was a little amused, since I don’t think he realized the bag I had given him was his. He’d come out thinking he was going to carry all of our bags but surprise! It was his bags he was carrying all along! Mwahaha!

I had. So much fun with everyone. It’s nice to get together and unwind. No stress, no worries about a threat or a fight around the horizon, just spending time with friends and getting along. Even horsing around can be fun too! I’d like to do it again sometime.

#ic #zahra kha #zahra kouris #zahra's diary

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naturaldisasterfanfiction · 4 years

Text

Bopping my head slowly like the sun is speaking to me, go to bed nigga, that is what I need to do “go to bed” mumbling to myself but I don’t feel tired to even attempt to go to sleep, I would just lie awake with nothing but bullshit on my mind, I will go back down the stairs and sit on the couch until I fall asleep naturally. Sliding the balcony door shut, I had thought I closed it lightly but clearly not, the bang was pretty loud as it closed. Looking at my bed, it’s been years where I have felt comfort in my own bed without feeling empty, I do question myself on what I am looking for in life because this is just not it, pondering and craving something but I want it to be real, I don’t think I can get real when I don’t trust. Closing my bedroom door, placing my feet in my slides just outside my door. My bedroom is untouched and will forever main that, no shoes inside that room either. It’s kind of like my heart, if you can reach that place then you got the key to my bedroom, I am weird as fuck but oh fucking well “morning everyone!” I said aloud, making my way down the steps with such a smile to my face, it hit me in a way. I am going to Melissa’ party, when she mentioned it I didn’t think she meant it but she messaged me the address and again, she reminded me of no friends allowed but then it would mean I go alone, that is just exposing me which I don’t like to feel. I would be alone in a room full of people that probably don’t like me, I suppose just Mel that doesn’t “back down then!” Hoodie said but the thought of shawty being there, I mean it doesn’t bother me but I am in her setting maybe I shouldn’t go because then I am asking to be told to fuck off, but Melissa invited me and it’s rude to not go “yeah” I gradually said making my way to the kitchen to find some snacks, maybe I should say no thank you.

I have been thinking for so long that I am not tired anymore, I will have a nap sometime later, but I have come up with the best idea, it is not a bad idea either. I do not want to go alone, it’s just not fair on me but I understand why, so I decided I should call Mijo and bring him along, Mel cannot deny him, I mean they used to you know what on the low but she won’t be angry at that, he is family too “aren’t you supposed to see the babies today?” Hoodie managed to say through the break he just had from inhaling “you right, and it’s getting late. I have to cancel, I mean yes” tapping on Mijo’ name, he is going to be shook to hear this, I mean he may think I am ringing him to hang out just on the low, but this is not something he will expect “my nigga” Mijo picked up, the tone of his voice, he is happy to hear from me “bro, how the kids?” lifting my leg up, propping it up on the table “they good fool, little Royalty want to play?” shaking my head, I shook my head like he could see but still “no, I got something. Also something you can’t say no too because nigga, I do want to go” if Mijo does say no then I will still go but on my own “I am not saying yes to anything but I am listening, Maleah no. Uncle is busy talking to me” a small smile played on my lips, Maleah wants to say hi to me “so I went to the Tuff Crowd store opening, shit was good. I got a few pieces while I was there and then someone came up to me, I was shook! The one, the only Melissa. She looks good bro, she gave me a hug, told me what’s up and all the good stuff” I just caught myself, I sound way too happy “good stuff? You about happy, you seen Barbados aren’t you? That tone, don’t play me boy” Mijo got me laughing here “no, just her, but she invited me to her party and she said just me but I don’t want to go alone” Mijo let out an oh “I see how it is, you want me to come? You scared?” Mijo is laughing but he is not wrong, I am scared. I can’t go alone “I haven’t been out in so long and we all grown now” is he considering it, I hope he is “so yes?” I interrupted his little speech “she got a man, he fat like you” I slipped in there “no then” Mijo said in annoyance, he is annoyed now “awww no, come on bro. I mean he thick” he has to come with me “pick me up fool” throwing my fist in the air in excitement, I am happy.

I text my mom, I text her saying I am busy, but she hasn’t messaged back. I mean I know I am useless but this party, I don’t want to miss and I am not doing it for a certain person but I mean Melissa doesn’t always invite me to places, this is different but my mother has not text me back so she is angry with me, I take that “put your head to the side a little bro” JC said as I moved my head to the side “getting all beautiful for tonight nigga, look at him shaving his hair he been grew out for months” Hoodie be trolling me but I will throw his ass out “surprised you aren’t getting your makeup done?” Hoodie laughed and he moved away, he knows to move away “I have to look the part” I don’t care about anyone or their opinions but even I know I have to shave my hair, it grew out and I didn’t care for it, I am not there to impress anyone but be there for a friend, she invited me “could make a male weave with the amount of hair I cut off Chris” JC joked, I can imagine how much hair he shaved off “we got to admit your favorite is the blonde tips but it looks better now bro” nodding my head slowly “I needed it, I can feel the breeze on the back of my head now” JC slapped my head laughing “well you’re all done now bro, before you go let me take a picture” smiling as I got my phone out from my pocket, my mom has text me. My phone unlocked straight away, and I tapped on the message ‘ok’ that was simple, I would reply but let me not because she will end up sending me a paragraph which I do not want to hear about.

Looking at myself in the rear-view mirror, do I look good, I hope I do look good for tonight, I mean I want to look presentable with the people that will be there, I even shaved for this which I haven’t in months “I have arrived with a bottle of Armand de Brignac Brut, this cost me seven hundred dollars” Mijo got into the car with me “thank you for that, I didn’t want to arrive empty handed, that would look wack” watching Mijo closed the car door, looks like he has shaved too “you smell nice” Mijo looked at me with the biggest smile on this face “so do you!” I retorted back to him straight away, I wasn’t going to have Mijo sat here laughing at me when he done the same shit “whatever but look. When you open the case, a neon light shines down on the bottle, I was going to put to Riri love breezy!” Why did I invite him, he is straight trolling me, shawty may not even be there. She may have gone elsewhere because Melissa would not invite me to just upset shawty, I mean she wouldn’t do that “you sat there with the biggest smile on your face, you too happy about this little thing” Mijo poked my side “I am not happy about this little thing, I am going there for a friend because she invited me and also shawty might not be there so there you go” let me get driving before I end up being extra late.

Now I am nervous, now that I have arrived here but I am going to suck it up and get on with it and have fun, I have had some things to calm my nerves so I will be good “I think we may need to go to the reception to go up” Mijo is right, I think so. There is only an elevator and a reception here “Chris Brown” some big white man got up from a seat “yes” looking a little dumbfounded because he came out of nowhere “I will key you in to go up, you on the list” nodding my head not saying a word, it is a good sign. I am not needing to explain that I am invited here, the elevator doors opened and I stepped in before the guy reached over and keyed us in “have fun” he bowed out “this is fancy, too fancy for Mel. This is one hundred percent Rihanna’ place” Mijo stood in the corner, looking to the mirror in the elevator. I actually look like I have aged ten years, I mean is the life getting to me or maybe I am just picking up on things “I can’t wait to get fucked up though, I know one things these know how to party. I miss it” I am hearing what Mijo is saying but my mind is a little all over, I mean what did I expect to feel.

The elevator doors opened, the rush of people and music hit me fast, I mean what did I expect, a little one on one time with Melissa “here we go” I said to nobody in particular, one thing I can accept and be happy about is that there is not so many people around, it just close friends from what I can see. Walking further into the open planned living area, I am getting stared at “hey, welcome” moving to the side a little, I remember him “hey” shaking his hand, this is Mel’ boyfriend “aye, aye, aye. Christoph! You came!” Mel yelped out, dancing her way over to me “Happy Birthday” I breathed out smiling “good seeing you and oh, oh. You bought friends?” Melissa’ mouth open pointing as she hugged me “I needed support” hugging Mel back, she is always so welcoming to me “well you are most welcome, and you. Mr Bradford himself. Aye, come here” moving to the side watching them both hug, I mean it’s different to see them both hugging now “well boys, this is just a little lowkey party, I won’t have many people here because number one. I am getting old, so it’s just a few friends and family” Rorrey and I caught eyes, I mean I have no issues with him now I mean there shouldn’t be “this is for you, you better keep the case!” Mijo put the case in front of her “oh, you fancy asses, me like it. Thank you, see how you all know me? Drinking, but make yourself comfy. We going to have a good time, and the weed is free here” Mel winked at me as she danced away from us, Mijo and I just looked at each other laughing.

I should personally make more of an effort for Mel’ lowkey party as she wants to be lowkey, she is getting old but bitch I am aging, I am getting old, my eggs are getting old. I may not look it but my back sure in hell reminds me I am like five years away from forty. I am really not feeling it, I mean partying and whatever is going on out there, I have been hiding out in my room for most part. Staring at myself in the long mirror, I mean nobody will be shocked at what I wear, least I can just roll my ass into bed after this shit is done. wearing a sheer white bra, light pink robe, matching pink bottoms and pink fuzzy high heels, I like to be different and this is just it “let me actually leave this room” speaking to myself, I am not getting drunk tonight at all. That is not my goal, as soon as niggas start doing stupid shit then I am out into my room, maybe I have become boring but I have a flight in the morning to London, I have not left Cali in so long so it is time to go back to my second home, this place be aggravating my life so much, it’s full of weird niggas.

Pointing at Rorrey, he has arrived, and I didn’t even know “you came!” Rorrey leaned down to me so my short self could put my arm around his neck and hug him, I miss my brothers a lot “I did, the flight was late. You know I couldn’t miss this” let me go and find myself some drink, walking off whining my hips as I did so, making my way to the counter to get myself a drink. I am happy Mel wanted this to be small, only the people we know here “bitch, what happened? You going to bed?” Jahleel touched my robe “eh! Don’t touch the robe bitch” slapping his hand “I especially went to get you a dress and you come out looking like you ready to sleep?” rolling my eyes as Jahleel rambled on, he knows damn well I do as I please “ugh” some of the Corona leaked onto my hand “so…” Jahleel dragged out “so what” licking my finger looking up, I had to double take because that cannot be “you see what I see too?” my finger still lingering near my mouth, that is Chris “that bitch Mel” grabbing the Corona bottle “I need this too” taking the shot glass with me.

Downing the shot “hey, hi. Can I steal this bitch? Thank you” placing the shot glass down “you finally joined us?” Mel said, she is drunk already “Tina, give us space. We need a talk, talk” Mel is laughing but I know her, I mean I have no issues with Chris but I mean he is here and things “what is up my bitch” Mel and I went into a corner “Chris and Mijo? Since when? And you never mentioned a word to me!? Are we even friends anymore, the fuck” I know Mel is rolling her eyes under those shades “oh yes, Robyn I saw Chris and invited him. He seemed really happy to see me and I was like we cool with him, so why not?” there is no speaking to Melissa when she is in this mood at all “there is no issues but I would have liked to know” Melissa laughed, she laughed at me covering myself with my robe “so you can actually dress up? On my birthday you dress in some sexy pajamas, I mean you looking sweet fa so” Melissa is not funny at all, this bitch.

“You know, only Rihanna would walk around in pink pajamas, she is something else but anyways. Now you seen her, can we go now?” I did hear what Mijo said but clearly I am not responding to him, shawty is always so headstrong and I love that about her and I know she has seen me, I just feel she has and I know she has been walking around all nervous, I mean we are ok but we haven’t spoken for years but I know we don’t have issues now. We tried to make it work but between that time I have had two children which happened, I had to look away because then I be looking creepy “I know but no we can’t leave now, I mean we got free booze and weed here” turning to Mijo, I have to turn to him because I am going to continue to look at shawty and then people will talk “so good seeing you” looking to the side of me, I jumped a little hearing someone next to me “Noella, it’s good to see you. Its been years” hugging her, it’s like family with all of them and I don’t have issues with them “it really has, and you add to the tattoos on your face, a new collection” she isn’t wrong, rubbing the side of my face “that’s how I be, I release my creativity on myself, I mean I have no space anymore” which I do need to stop but I can’t “over here, we doing the cake now!” Rorrey shouted, I should maybe say hi to Rorrey or maybe not.

I am standing a little further away, I don’t want to get in anyone’s way with anything or ruin Melissa’ day. I still feel on edge because with everything that went on, all these years I am not liked and I know that “any pictures taken today, they don’t leave this place. We don’t play that, these for your memories only” Melissa said before I even questioned why people were taking pictures “but gwan, mi want to hear you all sing!” Melissa is funny drunk, as I laughed Robyn and I eyes cross paths and it was such a quick glance that I had to look away, it seems so sinister even though we are over it, just seems to be the same, the same spark and I know if we spoke it would be the same old with us “happy birthday bitch, done!?” shawty said which made me laugh and now I look dumb for laughing because I was the first to laugh, everyone started to sing happy birthday “you mad weird, seriously” Mijo is side eyeing me, now I want to leave for looking stupid “happy birthday dear Melissa” I joined in with the cheers for her birthday.

I won’t go up to shawty and she won’t come to me so I guess that is it between us, I know why I won’t do it because of the reaction I may get “shall we go? I think I need to go and hate myself for making that noise when she wasn’t even that funny” placing my drinks down “one o’clock” Mijo said and then looked away “I said shall we go, one o’clock been and gone?” is he too high or something “some cake” my heart dropped, like I did not expect such a feeling like that to hit me but I still love her, I can feel her aura next to me. Why would she want to speak to me when I have kids and we haven’t spoken since that all happened, she touches my mind in special places and her voice alone is driving me wild “you want me to just take that? Where is my slice miss Fenty!” Mijo said, I managed to look at her “I only have two hands, and you have gained weight” watching Mijo and Rihanna both embrace, is this how Mijo feels when I am hugging Melissa like it’s nothing, I mean I miss Robyn in my arms “I am playing, I will get my own cake. Be back” Mijo winked at me as he walked off, oh wow I am nervous “it’s weird and I am trying to not make it weird but I got you cake” shawty admitted and I breathed out, like a sigh of relief “I am glad I am not the only one” taking the cake from her “thank you” she makes me all shy inside “you look beautiful” it came out of my mouth, why did I say it “I am just a mess” I am so stupid “I was shocked to see you here, whatever you feeling it’s the same Chris but I drank some and came here. We have known each other for years to not just speak and I don’t hold any grudges with you” I understand what she means “it’s always going to be that way with us, I feel like people around us get weird unless it’s Mel” I don’t even want to see what the people around us are doing.

I don’t even want the cake but I will forcefully eat this “you are forcing yourself to eat” shawty said it, she knows me which made me laugh “it’s dry” I said through my laughter which made Robyn laugh with me “about dry as my pussy, I agree” Robyn put the cake back on the paper plate, she licked her thumb “no comment” Robyn took my paper plate from me and placed it on the side, she is so sexy right now “best comment to say but how are you? I feel the alcohol is kicking in, I must admit you are getting old, I mean I am but what is this?” I was taken aback by Robyn touching my forehead, her touch has gone straight to my dick “what?” I am giggling like a little school kid in love “these frown lines, you need to stop it” she pressed her hand to my forehead “you need to take care of your skin” she moved her hand back, I am shocked she touched me “uh, well I need that Fenty Skincare, you giving samples?” Robyn laughed but held my arm as she did “you got jokes now, but on a real. You need to start looking after your skin, but we both getting old” Robyn moved her hand from my arm as she fixed her hair “you too busy conquering the world now, you look young still. I mean in other aspects you have become a lady” Robyn side eyed me “keep talking, I will be back, I just need to go to pee” nodding my head with the biggest smile on my face, I mean there is so much to smile about when I got the love of my life just here.

#Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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