#Anyway I'm here now and planning to make many changes to this blog and its operations

[lucrativesoul]

Welcome Home

summary: you finally graduated college and are home free for the summer, planning to spend as much time as possible with your best friend. what you weren't planning for, however, was the incredible sight of her older brother, Leon, who had drastically changed after all those years. you had never thought you would fall for your best friend's brother.

pairing: leon kennedy (re2) x fem! reader

word count: 9.3k

warnings: smut, bathroom sex, public sex, fingering, dom(ish) leon

a/n: guys, thank you endlessly for 300+ followers, 250+ reblogs and all those likes! i'd like you all to take a moment to read this, apologies... i absolutely love writing. I've been writing for ten years! crazy. i do it for fun, and because i want to put out the content that i want to consume and i want to be that outlet for people who don't write but want to consume, that is just as fair! a while ago, while writing this, my laptop gave me a scare. i'm realizing now that its a 5 year old macbook, which, in apple timeline, means it might be on the way out at the blink of an eye. if you are feeling generous at all, i have created a ko-fi. it is absolutely not necessary, because i'm not doing this blog for money, but if you really love my work and want other ways to support me, it's there. i will never be upset at no donations, but i made it in hopes that i'm on this blog for a long time. so sorry for the rambling, i really hope you guys enjoy this one, and i will be back soon for a fifth fic. love u!

No matter how many young adult fiction books you read, how many love story tropes you think you have seen, there was just one that seemed so unreasonable, it was almost laughable. Because, after all, you spent way too much time with this person to ever even see him as attractive, it had never even crossed your mind. Come on, your best friend’s brother? The boy who was so ungracious, messy, impolite, and had a crude, childish sense of humor? It was just unrealistic.

Until… It was realistic.

For all your life, you looked at Leon Kennedy as the young, bumbling boy who tripped over his own two feet at any given opportunity, ready to make jokes at inappropriate times and constantly worked overtime to barge in when you and your best friend were hanging out. He was only two years older than you, but his personality read the same age, if not, younger. Boys will be boys…

You always knew that college would change a person, and you can’t deny that about yourself, but it was so hard to look at the people you were closest to and imagine that they, too, changed with college. Your best friend was still the same person you knew since middle school, and all those years that you knew Leon, he had never changed, until he left for college himself. You were confident in knowing that when he came back, he would be the same exact person, just… older.

You could not have been more wrong.

“These days could not go by any faster.” Your best friend whined to you over the phone, a daily routine between the two of you. “I need you home ASAP, Leon is driving me crazy. He’s being so loud.”

Yep, that sounded pretty in character for him. “I know, just five more days, and I’m home free, forever. I wish commencement wasn’t even happening at this rate, I’m wasting away here.”

You were finishing up your last days as a college senior at a school that was a thousand miles away from home. The scholarship opportunity was incredible, and you could not say no to this offer. Your best friend chose to stay local, which you inwardly criticized, but would never say to her. You knew her parents could have afforded to send her here, who needs that big of a house for a family of four anyway?!

Commencement was set to happen on Thursday, and it was currently Sunday. Your own parents had flown in to watch you walk the stage, and while you knew your best friend would have dropped everything to come as well, her school chose to hold theirs on the same exact day. Figures.

“I miss you guys. The summers I came home just weren't enough. I have to say, I’m so glad this internship bullshit is over. It feels like I haven’t ever even lived with you.”

You heard her groan on the other line. “I know! It’s so stupid. Why would a program even make it so you could only intern in the summer? Don't they know you are only in your twenties once?!”

You laughed at her remark, gazing off as you continued the conversation. Classes were over and exams were concluded, at least you had a healthy pile of books to go through to pass the time. You decided to worry about the logistics of taking them home at a later date.

There’s something so innocent about getting lost in the world of young adult romance. Some would say it makes their own lives dreary, coming to the conclusion that they could never live out these fantasies in the real world, but to you, it felt real anyways. It only made you happier. It puts some optimism in your life.

The comfy plane read you chose was about a high school girl, absolutely smitten over the five-years-older brother of her best friend. This type of thing, you thought, just seemed too… fairytale, to be real. In no world where you knew someone as a child could you grow up and think they were an object of fantasy. You tried picturing you and Leon in this situation. Never!

Admittedly, you haven’t seen Leon in like 4 years. The last time you saw him, it was right before you left for college, and your major requires summer internships which leave a very small window for home visits. You never crossed paths during those times. From what your friend tells you, he’s rarely home now, he must have migrated to a new group of friends in college and found other passions. Good for him, you thought, you wish you could say the same, but you needed the income from whatever job you landed from your internship.

He was never really a tiny boy in high school, he was of a pretty average build and rivaled some of the football players, but he was not an athletic kid. You can’t imagine him changing that much more, your best friend never talked about him like that, obviously, so, you only had to imagine after the last time you saw him.

From your own personal standpoint, it was just impossible to believe in this best friend’s brother trope. You shut the book and closed your eyes, willing the plane to start moving faster.

As soon as your plane touched down, you whipped your phone out to send a text: As soon as all this shit is put away, I’m coming straight over.

Predictably, less than three minutes later: YES!! All nighter, we’re 14 again. I have drinks in the fridge.

Willing yourself through all the pleasantries of coming home, promising other relatives you would be by in a few days when you are settled, you merely threw your suitcase down into your room before dashing out to your car, knowing the route to your best friend’s house even with your eyes closed. 

A tight, running start hug was the intro you both needed as a fresh start to the summer.

“Please tell me you are home for good now, they aren't making you do any more summer internships?”

You laughed as you followed her into the house. It felt like it’s been forever since you’ve been in this large house’s lived-in walls. “No, thank god. I’m officially done. Except for job hunting, but I’m putting that off for as long as I can get away with it.”

“Agreed.”

As you followed her up the steps to her room, snacks and drinks spilling over your arms, a loud cacophony rang out through the house, coming from the garage. “What the hell is that?” You stopped short, listening to it through the closed door.

“Wow, that’s how I really know it’s been forever since you’ve been here. I’m so used to it now. It’s a band that Leon is a part of. The ‘rents loaned out a car space in the garage.”

Wow, you thought, multiple things to dissect here. One: this has been going on for some time now, and you never knew. You didn’t blame your friend for not bringing it up, it wasn’t weird to not mention a new hobby of her brother’s. Two: Leon apparently knew how to play an instrument. You couldn’t recall anytime seeing him play anything, and he had never expressed an interest in singing, so that was difficult to digest. Three: their parents would give up a car space just for them to do this. They still had two car spaces left in there.

“God, it’s really been that long, huh? I’ll have to get him to spill all about this whenever he comes out.”

You heard a groan from in front of you on the stairs, and you hopped up to be beside her, headed to her bedroom. “If you can even catch him. He’s like a slippery snake. Plus, he’s so private, I don't know what happened to him. Anyway, you should come over tomorrow night and pregame with me and the girls, cause…” 

She droned on, and while you still had half of your brain paying attention to her, you couldn’t help but think about that sentence she just said. Leon’s different now? The slippery snake part didn’t make many waves, you weren’t surprised that a man in his mid twenties didn’t want to be bothered, but you didn’t expect a whole new personality to come out of him. What happened while he was gone? Or, what kind of epiphany did he have?

“Oh, my god, look at this, too. I totally forgot to send you this. I’m so mad you missed it!”

Your best friend shoved a phone in your face, and you took it, grateful for the mental topic switch. It was a group of four girls and five boys, your old friends, standing along a cliffside in bathing suits. You assumed this was the cliff jumping extravaganza you heard about over the phone a couple weeks ago. And, yes, you were also mad you missed it.

“This looked like so much fun, I haven't seen all of them in forever. Maybe we can convince everyone to do it again soon.” You looked up and smiled as your friend laughed. You looked back down to the photo. “Who is this?”

She leaned over you as you zoomed in on a man in the top right, his lower half covered by a girl bending forward for a photo, but you could tell he was incredibly toned. His hair was pushed back with water from the lake below, and a broad smile graced his features. You sensed familiarity, but you had never met this person before.

Your friend scoffs. “Girl, what? That’s Leon.”

“What?!” Has it really been that long since you’ve seen Leon in person? Now that you look at it again, yep, that’s definitely him, but why does he look so different? Thinking back, it wasn’t often you spent time with him around after he graduated high school and went to college. You saw him probably even less than you visited home during your college career, and honestly, it has probably been years since you’ve seen him at all. “He looks so… different.”

“Like I said, I don’t know what happened. Maybe he won’t recognize you either.” You handed her phone back to her. Maybe, you wondered, but you doubted it. Nothing about you changed at all. You woke up every day waiting for a magical overnight nose job and five month glute progress from the gym that you didn’t go to, but it never happened. 

The night carried on, the strange questions about Leon’s college whereabouts pushed to the back of your mind. It felt so good to be back home. The summer was only just getting started, and with the buzz running through your system, you couldn't feel anything except excitement.

“I’m out of water, fuckkk,” You moaned. Your friend giggled at you. 

“Go get some. And don’t fall.” If you were any more sober you would have glared at her for this, reminding you of the time you drunkenly took a tumble down her stairs, but right now, it was only a funny memory as you totally didn’t have an iron grip on the railing as you walked down.

The rest of the house was dark and quiet now. You remembered her saying her parents were somewhere else, so you hadn’t seen them at all tonight, and there was no longer heavy music coming from the garage. You instinctively turned your head that way, like it would magically start up again.

You stumbled over to the refrigerator, yanking it open and hearing all the bottles clink around on the door. It took you a second to collect your bearings, but after a few more seconds, water was located, and you let your eyes readjust to the darkness as you shut the door. A figure in the darkness made you yelp.

“Goddamnit, you scared me!” You placed a hand over your beating heart.

A deep laugh floated through the air at this, but you were still partially blinded. “Hey, you. I’m sorry, I thought you were my sister.”

Leon. 

You blinked hard a few times, willing the night vision to return, and a little bit of your drunkenness away. You took a hard look at the man in front of you, as good of a look as you could. You only saw a silhouette, a dark shirt, hair over his forehead, and he was taller than you, wider, stronger. This was not the Leon you remember from high school.

“Leon. It’s so nice to see you.” You tried your hardest to sound normal, but surely he already knew what the two of you were up to.

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” Slowly, your vision was returning, and his facial features were becoming prominent. Eyes. Mouth. Smile. “Congratulations on graduating, back home for good now?” 

“Yeah, yes. Thank god. Thank you.” You could now tell you were fumbling over your words, and suddenly wanting nothing more than to go back upstairs. “I’ll be here a lot more often now, so get used to me.” You walked around him back to the stairs, listening to that low chuckle that you got out of him. God, you really needed another drink.

The night and next day bore on with nothing too important left to remember about it, as long as you were in the confort of your home town again getting fucked up with nowhere to be, it was a great time as far as you were concerned. 

Though, despite continuing to drink that night and waking up a little unsteady the next morning, you couldn’t shake that brief encounter you had with Leon. You could barely see him in the dark, but you could already tell he looked different. His build was wider than the last time you saw it, he even looked a little taller. He had only ever been maybe an inch above you, but since he disappeared to college, it looked like he went up at least five. Or maybe you were shrinking. 

You were mad it was so dark and you were on the edge of tipsy and drunk to be able to clearly see him. You saw him in the photo of the outing at the cliffside, but you really didn't want to believe that was him. He was almost… sexy.

Which was crazy. You had never thought of Leon like that. Yes, there was some sort of novelty to having a crush on the only consistent older man in your life whom you weren’t related to, but whenever you came face to face with him, it was just normal. You felt nothing, he was just there. 

But this… this could change everything. Was he actually attractive now? God knows you weren’t the best at being normal around people who you thought were attractive, and that could make things infinitely awkward with being around your best friend so often. And your best friend, what would she even think? You can’t confide in her to tell her you might think her older brother is hot. This was all messed up. This is not how you wanted summer to start.

–

A few days had passed with no rift, and your momentary crisis left with no memory. You discovered, though, as much as you couldn’t wait for summer to roll around so you could be free of your duties, your days were much more boring than you had anticipated. With your past summer internships, you were always busy, and had one or two days a week to rest at most. But now, with the summer sun high in the sky and no requirements of you anymore, you were at a loss of anything to do other than sit by your best friend’s pool, baking in the heat.

“They’re having some start-of-summer party going on in one of the campus houses tonight, are we down?”

You didn’t move your head nor open your eyes as your friend spoke to you. “Yeah, sure. It will be more of a time than drinking with just us.”

She sighed. “You can say that again.”

You pushed yourself up off the chair. “I’ll be back, don’t drown.”

You listened to her sarcastic response as you went inside the house, needing a moment to cool down, and to refill your drink. As you slid the glass door shut, you were greeted with the sound of loud instruments, reminding you of the first night you came here once returning from school. Leon must have had his bandmates come over some time while the both of you were outside, as you don’t remember hearing this, or seeing anyone else. You ignored it, and stalked past the door, headed upstairs to the kitchen.

The music stopped, a door opened, and chatter became clearer without the barrier. You didn’t know who else Leon could have here, you didn’t know his friends, and you were suddenly too aware of the bikini you had on. Whatever, you soothed your anxiety, I look good.

“Oh, hey.” You turned around at the strange voice, not recognizing the person standing at the stairway, headed towards the kitchen. “Now it’s a party.”

“Dude, gross.” A more familiar voice followed quickly behind the quip, and Leon’s head became visible as he climbed the stairs. “Sorry.” He spoke now to you, visibly doing his best to keep eye contact with you. Now you could really feel your half-nakedness. 

“Doesn’t sound like you guys are making much progress out there.” You joked, turning your head back to where you were filling your water bottle. You heard Leon’s friend laugh, making a remark along the lines of blaming other people in the band, but you unintentionally tuned him out.

“We’re trying.” Leon was closer to you now, and when you turned, his friend had disappeared, probably into the bathroom. Leon was grabbing drinks from the fridge, and the two of you were separated by the kitchen island, sunlight illuminating both of you.

His hair was a shade darker than you remembered it being, still blonde, but almost brown. It came down to touch his ears, and the pieces of bangs on his forehead were clumped together with sweat. He had on a gray tank, the ones with the arm holes that go down to your ribcage. His arms, god, those arms–

“Doing anything fun out there?” He walked around the island, even closer to you now, getting cups from the cabinets. 

You shook your head. “Just trying to become a leather couch while I’m still young.” You fixed the top of your water bottle back on, but didn’t move from your spot, taking the chance to talk to Leon.

“That’s the spirit.” He placed the cups down on the counter and leaned on it, clearly standing around to talk to you, too. You noticed a bandage wrapped around his right hand as he crossed his arms.

“What happened there? Start scrapping with the wrong people?” 

He lifted it and looked at it, like he just realized it was there. He laughed softly. “This might sound gross, but it's just a callus that burst open the other day. Right when I was used to holding drumsticks all the time.”

You sighed a gentle laugh. “Doesn’t that hurt, still using it?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I just didn’t want to start touching shit and get it all gross again.” He set his hand back down. You took the silence to ask another question. 

“When did the drums start? That was never a thing as far as I can remember.” He looked down, slowly nodding his head, as if trying to piece together memories of what his life was like the last time he saw you.

He sighed. “I kind of picked it up during college. I thought it was a lot of fun. I knew a lot of guys at the time who were in a bunch of different bands, so they had access to all these instruments, and I tried a bunch, but the only one that stuck was drums. I guess it’s easy and I like it only because I still can’t read sheet music for the life of me.”

You smiled softly at his explanation. Looking at him in the daylight, now, you can see the old him in his features. He grew into his face, his cheekbones slightly more pronounced, and his dimpled chin fitting perfectly into his jawline. His eyes were soft, yet tired. Still the bright blue you remember them being.

“Are you any good?”

He smiled fully at this, looking back up to you. “Of course. I know it sounds like ass right now, but we’re trying out some new stuff. But, and maybe I’m just biased, I think we have some really solid potential.”

You shrugged, a grin still present on your face. “I’ll have to see it to believe it.”

Leon stood up now, grabbing the cups and the still tied together 6-pack. “I agree. We’re doing a local show next Wednesday night. I’m always inviting my sister, but she doesn’t like going alone, and the rest of your friends don’t like that bar.” You smiled at this. Sounds typical of your friends. “Maybe she will come if you will. And, uh, if you’re still with that guy, he can come, too.”

Your brow furrowed at this. “Guy?”

Leon shrugged. “Oh, well, she told me in passing that you were with some guy last summer. From around here.”

You paused to think about this, nearly forgetting your whole past trying to rake your brain for a memory. It then hit you. “Oh, shit, yeah, that was definitely just a summer thing. He was…” A douche, conceited, horrible at sex. “Not the best. I’m not seeing anybody. And definitely not while school was in. I was way too busy for that.” 

He nodded, standing up a little straighter. “Well, that’s good. And fuck that guy.” You giggled at his support. “I think you should come. I’d be happy to see you there.”

And, oddly, for the first time ever speaking with Leon, your stomach did a flip that only ever happened when you were talking to someone whom you liked. It caught you off guard, and your words caught on your throat.

You nodded quickly, using the opportunity to take a deep breath in. “Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ve got the time to, now.”

“Cool. I won’t disappoint, I promise.” With that, Leon bounded back across the room and down the stairs, opening and shutting the door to the garage. You sighed deeply. You didn’t like the feeling that was creeping up inside of you.

Putting your newfound conundrum aside for the night, you resolved to let loose and get back to enjoying the summer the way you had intended to. You were almost tempted to stick around and listen once his band got started with the music again as you were on your way outside, but decided against it, as your friend would surely be asking what took so long. 

Part of you wished Leon had gone to this little party tonight, considering he knew all of your mutual friends, but he was never the party type before this, and it seemed that college did not change that much either. It would make sense if he had a gig coming up, they must be preparing, but you didn’t picture him to be much of a perfectionist. Maybe that changed as well.

–

“Why are we going to this again?” Your friend asked as she followed you out of her house, locking the door behind her. She seemed awfully quick to keep up with you for complaining about doing something she doesn't want to.

“I don’t know, it gives us something to do. Leon asked me to come. Now you’re coming with me.”

“What? Why did Leon ask you to come? He doesn't ask me.” The two of you slid into her sleek black coupe. 

You shrugged as you fastened the belt. “I saw him the other day when I was here, I came in while we were out by the pool. We were just talking. And he said he does invite you, by the way, but you never go.”

She was the one to shrug this time. “Maybe he does. You think there will be hot men here?”

“We’re both hoping.” You half-assed the response, but you already knew the answer was yes. You could never tell her you think Leon is attractive now. You had been mulling it over the past few days, ever since you spoke to him, and you had no choice but to confirm it. He really, really grew into his body. You could even push the curiosity aside to wonder what it was about college that changed him like that, you were just thankful it happened.

Your local bar looked just as you remembered, dark and looming from the outside, people filing in and out simultaneously. It was much busier than you had ever seen it, but the show was most likely the reason for the sudden influx in customers.

The crowd was a thick mass, and you had trouble even spotting the stage when you walked in, but once you and your friend had found a nice little corner, vacant of bodies, and conveniently found a third mutual friend to stand by, the room seemed a little less stuffy.

You absentmindedly scanned the crowd, people hoarding in front of the stage, waiting to be the first to break open the mosh pit, presumably, people in the back drinking idly and chatting, almost like they don't even know a show is happening this night. You found yourself looking for Leon. He was in the building somewhere. You wished you could have told him you were there, but what good would that have done? He wouldn’t have come out to say hello, there were preparations to be had back there.

God, shut up already, you willed at yourself, annoyed at the mere fact that you couldn’t stop thinking of Leon.

Admittedly, you thought of that first scene more often than not recently. The muscle shirt, ribcage exposed, thick arms, sweet smile and bouncy cheeks with a strong jawline, the vision came to you during the day, at breakfast, while you were scrolling your phone, late at night, when the moon was your only company. 

You wondered what he would look like tonight. You were so anxious for him to step out on stage. Would he see you?

Your friend stumbled sideways into you, knocking you out of your monetary stupor. People were now starting to crowd in, hence the bump, and you were assuming the start of the set was about to happen.

On cue, the lights went darker, the roar of the crowd exploded, and people rushed on stage and took their places. Your eyes were instantly drawn to Leon, who, from what you could only see from the backlight so far, had on another muscle shirt. It made your legs feel like jelly.

The lights went on, and after a brief introduction from the front man who was holding a guitar, they started. Leon was right, they were pretty good when they weren’t rehearsing new material. You knew this wasn’t the type of music your best friend was into, but to your surprise, she was bopping away with your other mutual friend, both of them holding drinks. That’s probably why.

Turning back, you could see Leon clearly under the lights now, which were strobing in and out, flashing different colors and patterns. His hair was pushed back this time, exposing his forehead, and looking brand new. You liked the way it looked on him, it made him almost look older. Everytime a strong beam of light would shine down on him, you could see the glistening sweat on his skin, his face. He was so focused on hitting the beats, and succeeded everytime, and you were so enticed by it.

This was a side of Leon you never thought you would see. It was so clear, standing in the crowd watching, how much he belonged up there. He looked so confident, every move was made with ease, no hesitation, and you could feel yourself melting.

It was like a headrush, you didn’t think you would enjoy it this much, but clearly, every moment took your breath away. Yes, you were looking at Leon the whole time, but who could really tell?

Soon enough, the show ended, and the crowd was applauding for what felt like ten minutes as the individual members left the stage, thanked everyone, hopped down to talk to others. You were interrupted with your people-watching when your friend grabbed you by the elbow to let you know she was headed back to the bar for more drinks, and you absentmindedly nodded while you turned back.

You caught the back of Leon, dipping behind the stage into the back of the bar. The tips of your fingers tingled with… something, some emotion you couldn’t read… and you let your body take over as you weaved through the crowd, headed to the back.

People bumped you and yelled in your ears as you squeezed in between them, paying them no mind, on a mission of your own.

After a few seconds, you reached a hallway, a few people lingering by the bathrooms, and you spotted someone, you recognized him as the frontman, dipping behind another doorway, chattering loudly to people behind the wall. Times like this, you wished you had decided to down some liquid courage.

You stalked slowly over to the doorway, seeing flashes of shadow as people walked by, unsure if you should hang out or go in. Most likely, you weren’t welcome, it was probably for performers only, but you couldn’t help it, you continued inching closer, drawn in by an unseen force.

As you took another step inward, a figure rushed out and crashed right into you. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, bathrooms are that way if you’re looking for them, this is restricted access.” You looked up at the man you walked into, you didn’t know who it was. 

“Oh, um…” You backed up a step, and though he was making moves to walk around you, he was waiting for a response. “I was actually waiting for Leon… the drummer.” You added in the title, just in case this was a man who worked at the bar with no affiliation to the band. But, to your relief, he nodded.

“I’ll get him, just chill over there, ‘kay?”

You dumbly nodded and backed up again. The hallway was lit with fluorescents, the bright white kind, but it was still dark, with the walls and floors looking slick with condensation. You opted not to lean up against them.

“Hey, you’re still here?” A voice snapped your head back over to your left, and you saw Leon walking towards you. “You didn’t leave with the rest of them?” He must have seen your other friend there as well.

You shook your head. “They’re still here, I think. Just getting drinks.” He nodded. “I told you I would come.” You held your arms out in a here I am gesture. He laughed.

“I’m so glad. I didn’t see you while I was up there, but… I do tend to just tune everything else out when I play.”

“You did great. You were really good.” You spoke, almost breathless for no apparent reason. 

He smiled softly, his eyes holding contact with yours. “Thank you.” His hair was now starting to fall back into place on his forehead, his face was still red with exerted energy. Your eyes wandered, without your permission, his arms were shining under the hallway lights, still sweaty. You looked away, but he saw. “You look great tonight.” His voice was low, and a twist went straight down your abdomen.

You smiled back. You briefly looked down at your outfit, simply a short skirt and loose band tee. “Thank you. It’s nothing.” 

“I like it.” He looked back into your eyes, and you found yourself lost for words. He broke eye contact for a second, turned around and looked into the back room where, presumably, the rest of his bandmates were. He turned back to you. “You know,” He looked down, and took a step forward towards you, slowly, as if to test the waters. You stayed put. “It’s been so long since I saw you last. I almost didn’t recognize you the first night you were at the house.” You grinned at the memory. You were also equally stunned to not know Leon had changed so much. “Not that you weren’t before but… You’re beautiful, now.” 

Your stomach sank at his words, and with his new proximity to you, it caused you to have to look up at him. You felt a strong shiver course up your body.

“I really… I didn’t recognize you. You look so different, too.” You whispered, knowing he was close enough to hear you. “I didn’t even think it was you at first.”

He simply stared at you for a few more moments, taking in your words, and the way you looked in front of him right now. You were suddenly self conscious, but his gaze seemed to tell you that he liked whatever he saw.

“I… don’t want to back you into any corners here…” He looked down, still not meeting your eyes. “But you’re giving me a… vibe. And I’d rather fuck around and find out than never know if I don’t try.”

You stood up straighter, coming closer to meet his face, his eyes finally touching back onto yours. “What kind of vibe?” You had to say something, anything, because you could barely comprehend this situation right now. Leon was catching a vibe from you? Could he tell that you were looking at his body? Could he tell that you thought he became very sexy?

He tilted his head a little further, and his brow bone cast a shadow over his eyes, darkening them. Another shiver down your body. He shrugged. “I think I just… think you are incredibly attractive, now.” His eyes darted down your body for a quick second before resuming their previous place. “And I want to know if you want to just try it out. Just once.”

You took a quick, silent breath in. He must have been picking up your messages, even though you said nothing and only spoke to him once. Was that one conversation that powerful? Was it the hint you dropped about not being with that guy anymore? Was this something he just knew he was going to attempt as soon as he saw you? You didn’t know, and you really didn’t have the time to think it over.

You reached up and placed a hand on his chest, slowly taking the shirt on his body in your hands, pulling him closer, but with no force. His eyes darted up behind you, and he turned his head quickly one more time. He saved you the trouble, and dipped his head down and kissed you hard.

You sighed instantly, fully gripping his shirt and dragging him in closer to you, pushing your body against his as you could feel him move towards you at the same time. You were exploding, you didn’t know what to do with the rest of your body, and could only bring your other hand up to his bicep, where he then palmed your waist. He pulled back after a few seconds.

“Follow me,” His face was flushed, and when he turned around, you were very quick to follow. He maneuvered the two of you through the back room, where people still were congregating, but none of them paid much attention to the two of you. You passed by his other bandmates, and when he turned the corner, he pushed open a door, and ushered you inside. It was a bathroom. “This is the best I can do right now.”

Instead of replying, you simply grabbed his face in both hands and pulled him in. The room was dark, you could tell from under your eyelids as you felt the heat of his face on yours again, and you were at least happy for that, you weren’t too sure you wanted to see the state of the bar’s bathroom at this moment.

His hands found solace again on your waist, thumbs rubbing circles, and fingers teasing along the waistband of your skirt. Leon pressed himself further into you, sandwiching you in between him and the wall, and the stark difference in temperature between the two caused another series of shivers to run up your body.

Leon’s mouth left your lips, now wet and slick with his saliva and yours, and traced them down the length of your jaw, along your neck, nipping at the tender skin, making you sigh and arch your back, increasing the contact of your bodies. Your hands dragged along his sturdy shoulders, reaching around and locking your arms behind his neck, holding him in as he worked your neck, and as his hands started to move. You kept breathily gasping as he bit underneath your jawline, fingertips caressing your jutting hip bone, dipping lower, causing ripples to erupt in your core.

He had positioned his hands now to take purchase on the hem of your skirt, full intentions of pulling it up, when he released his lips from your neck and his face was back in front of yours. 

“Sorry that this is all we have.” His voice was low, and you almost didn't hear it over the static of the bar music softly coming in through the speakers. “We can wait if you want.”

His hand was still positioned on your clothing, and you didn’t let go of him even a little bit. You could only look up, your head already touching the wall behind you. “Where’s the thrill in that?”

Under his shadow, you saw his lips quirk up slightly, he breathed a laugh, and dove back in to kiss you. You threaded your fingers through his hair, slightly tugging, hearing him groan at the sensation. The hand that was ready to hike your skirt up did just that, and his other was gripping your thigh, lifting it higher so he could slide himself right in between. 

He made himself comfortable pressed against you, and you could feel his erection growing through his jeans, giving himself some sort of friction, and you pushed back, earning another groan through your still connected lips. You dropped one of your hands from his hair and traced down his bicep, and into the large hole of his shirt, relishing in every ridge that his ribcage and abdomen had to offer. His skin was so smooth, you knew you would never be able to get enough.

He backed away from the kiss briefly for another moment. “If I never saw you that day you came inside, half naked… in my house looking like that…” He continued to grind himself into you as he spoke, earning noises from the both of you. “Who knows how long I would have to wait?” The hand on your thigh crept upward, leaving a wake of shivers in its path. His palm was flush to your bare skin, reaching the joint of your thigh and hip, and he squeezed the flesh of your hip, digging his thumb into the sweet spot, making you squirm. You clawed at his back, you didn’t even care if it hurt him. You were sure it didn’t.

Leon hovered his mouth over yours, not connecting, but enticing you, and you could only look up at him through a foggy gaze. His hair had now fallen back over his forehead, streaked with sweat, but you hardly minded the way it was touching yours, you wanted him closer. It was impossible how, through the shadow he cast from the light behind him, you could see his blue eyes so clearly, pupils blown, the way he was looking at you made you want to drop dead.

You couldn’t wait any longer, you didn’t even have words to say back to him, you just needed to show him what you thought, how you felt, you just needed him. Your hands came around the front of his body again, not losing contact the entire way, and grasped desperately at his belt, needing to pull out his girth, needing to have his cock in your hands, mouth, in you.

You gasped, trying to form words, but his presence was so dominating, you almost couldn’t. “Leon…” You breathed, and your fingers couldn’t work the clasp fast enough. “Let me…” Finally, it slid open, you pulled the two ends of the belt apart, and made quick work to free his dick from its constraints. Your knees buckled, and you started sliding down the wall.

As you were about to hit the ground, his hands hoisted you back up from under your arms, and you could have whined, the frustration growing, the time only growing in between you getting to have him in your mouth.

“No, I’m sorry,” He grunted as he pulled you up. He put both hands under your thighs, and you gasped as he suddenly picked you up, you wrapped your arms around his neck for balance. “You’re not getting on this floor for me, we’ll save that for another time.”

Another time. Fuck, just those words alone had you melting in his grasp, his strong hands and arms holding you up, walking you around the corner of the bathroom and shutting the two of you in a stall.

“But, you already started this for me, so,” He had you pressed in between himself and the wall once again, one of his arms was still holding you up in the air, legs wrapped around his torso. He tried to separate himself as much as he could to pull his cock out, you reached down in between the two of you to help him, pulling the waistband forward so he could pull them down.

Your breath caught as he pulled it out, a solid, thick length, rock hard, and you were suddenly so mad he wouldn’t let you suck it, because, fuck you would have sucked the life out of him at just the sight of his dick. 

Once he was free, he stroked himself a couple of times, causing himself to moan, and shit, you almost did, too, and he went back to the hem of your skirt, pushing it up over your hips, exposing your small underwear. He eyed them for a moment, humming in acceptance, before sliding them sideways and exposing your aching pussy to the cool air. You, in contrast, were overheating in this bathroom, but now that you were free, it felt so nice, and it felt even better when he ran his fingers along the length, in between your folds, pressing into your clit to watch you squirm again under him.

You sighed loudly, moans slipping out with your breathing as his contact with your heat felt like heaven, your head leaned back and hit the wall, but you didn’t care, you couldn’t feel it, you felt nothing but Leon’s fingers right now.

“Fuck, you’re so wet already,” He was breathing heavily, and you choked out a whimper when he slid one of his fingers in, and it wasn’t stopped with any friction. You also couldn’t believe how wet you were, but then again, you would jump hurdles to be able to suck his dick right here and now, so it must have gotten you worked up. “You feel so good around me.” He mumbled, practically groaned out, sliding in a second finger with ease, the slick sounds becoming louder as he worked you open, and while it felt so good, you just needed him to fuck you already.

“Leon…” You kept whining, unable to say anything else, mind fading, only wrapped around the feeling of him pleasuring you, fingering you, loosening you up for him. “Please, Leon…” You moved your hips, trying to signal to him to pull his fingers out, but he resisted, his hand following the movements of your hips, only going deeper, causing you to squeal when he went as far in as he could.

“Stay still, take it…” Now he pushed himself back against you, finding your lips again and kissing passionately, trapping his fingers inside you, and when you felt them move inside of you, you couldn’t help but squirm against him. His tongue caressed your lips, the inside of your mouth, and your tongue as he was so entwined in kissing you and in fingering you to the edge, his other hand gripping relentlessly at your ass.

After what felt like forever, he backed away, strings of saliva connecting your mouths, his eyes darker than ever, and you, breathing heavily, working to regain composure. He slid his fingers out, a small hiss escaping your lips with the emptiness.

“Fuck,” He sighed, and he looked back down in between you two. He adjusted his grip on your thigh and ass as he used his now free hand to line the tip of his cock up with your entrance, you felt a throb hit the core of your pussy at the mere sight, and you instinctively tightened when he teasingly dragged the tip along your lips, not giving you what he knew you wanted.

You sighed frustratingly, and couldn’t help it but to reach down and wrap your own hand around his dick. The sudden contact made him gasp, but he caught your hand and prevented you from piloting the moment.

“Just relax…” You didn’t need to look up to hear the smile painting his face, and as much as you wanted to protest, you knew he had the upper hand. This time. “You’ll get it, just be patient.” He drew a couple more lines into you, with your hand still trapped under his on his cock, which you could feel it throb every few seconds, and he finally pushed the tip into you.

You whimpered, whole body going slack, and you drew your hand back from his dick to find closure on his shoulder, steadying yourself as he slowly pushed himself all the way in. He had to stop every other second to collect himself as well, jaw tightened, hands gripping bruises into your hips and legs, a long, deep sigh once he was bottomed out.

He brought himself closer to you, relishing in the feeling of you being wrapped around him, unmoving, and he had his face in the crook of your neck, as if to ground himself from the feeling. Your body was shaking slightly, and you could barely breathe with his weight on top of you, but it all felt so good. His skin was slick, sweat coating anywhere that wasn’t exposed to the air, and your hands drawing deep scratches into his shoulder blades.

“Fuck, fuck…” You felt Leon’s lips moving against your throat, and his breath was hot, you could tell he was desperate to move inside of you, but he was still. “You’re so tight, god…” His lips moved up to place gentle kisses along your jawline, and your head rolled to the side to give him more access. He stayed there for a second, teeth grazing your skin, and after a while you were ready for him to start moving.

You picked your head up and turned sideways, forcing him to look directly at you, wasting no time in reconnecting your lips, and, while continuing to kiss you, he slowly slid out, and pushed himself back in.

The both of you were glued to each other as he continued to thrust in and out, your hands gripping impossibly hard on his shoulders, thighs shaking, breaths choppy. His eyes never left your face, he was watching your expressions so closely, you had no control over whatever was happening to you, you could barely breathe, you were so focused on the feeling that Leon was delivering, you simply ceased to acknowledge the setting you both were in.

“God, Leon…” You choked out in between gasps, head hitting the wall over and over, trying to helplessly grind your hips into his when he thrust up, but you had no energy to move against him. He took the initiative, and every time he would plunge into you, he would stay there for a beat longer, and make sure your previously ignored clit was getting the friction it needed, which made you whine even louder.

His breaths were so heavy, spitting out ‘Fuck’, and ‘Oh, shit’, and ‘So good’ every few seconds, letting his train of thought loose as he let himself go, and lost control of the pace.

One of his hands let go of your thigh, and it landed along your chin, forcing your head down to look into his eyes. “How does that feel, hm? So hard to move in you, so tight.” His voice was a broken mess, just breaths, essentially, but it was all you needed to spur you on. 

You simply nodded, knowing the words were nowhere close to coming out right now. Even if you tried, it would be a mess of moans and gasps. You could feel him so deep inside of you, hitting that point to split you open, your pussy was endlessly wet, enough to fuel a whole round or two, and he let you know.

On another thrust, he pushed himself in and sat there for a moment, your moans spilling out without reserve, you both tensed as the unmistakable sound of the creaking door was heard.

Leon took his right hand, free from holding you up, and laced it over your mouth, silencing any sounds of pleasure that you had left in you. 

You were both stiff, eyes wide, and he had his head swung in the direction of the noise. The footsteps approached the counter and turned the sink on. If they were to walk around the corner, they would see Leon’s legs under the door, and could have easily walked in, considering he didn’t shut it all the way, it was just stopped by his body behind it.

He slowly turned his head back to face you, you couldn’t move due to the weight of his hand, and you wanted to writhe under him so bad, feeling his cock throb still deep inside of you while you both were still. Tears were practically forming in your eyes.

He locked eyes with you, and without a sound, mouthed the words Be quiet.

He kept his hand clamped over your mouth, but he slowly adjusted your position so he could slide out of you at a snail’s pace. Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting him to move, and you used all of your remaining energy to hold yourself together, being overcome by the pleasure while also staying conscious of the person who was still at the bathroom sink. You were glad there was still music playing outside in the bar, and the sink was still running, because if it were dead silent, they definitely would have been able to hear the wet sound of Leon pulling out, and fucking back in. 

He held eye contact with you while he continued to do this, holding you so tightly to make sure nothing made any noise,and a devilish grin broke out onto his face. He was enjoying every second of this. 

He was basically getting off on the idea of pushing you to your limit, forcing you to obey what he asked you to, even if it would benefit the both of you rather than just one. If Leon were shameless enough, he could have told them to fuck off, but instead, he held you here, silenced you, yet drove you to the fucking brink just to watch you fall apart. It made you want to cum right then and there.

After what felt like ten, twenty, thirty minutes (fifteen seconds), the sink shut off, a moment of silence, and the door creaked open again. Leon took his hand off your mouth and you both sighed deeply. While holding you still, Leon leaned back to look through the door to confirm you were alone once again.

“You were barely holding it together, I thought we were going to get caught.” He said on another thrust into you, bringing your faces closer once again. You swallowed hard, instinctively choking back moans now.

“Y-you… you were making it hard…” Gasps, again, as Leon was determined to make everything he asked of you difficult.

He brought himself closer into you, and spoke lowly. “Good,” With swift moves, his free hand was around your throat, holding your head back, and he was relentlessly bouncing you up and down on his cock.

The pressure around your throat and the pressure building in your core at his movements was all overwhelming, your hands were cutting crescents into his bicep from your nails, but he hardly took notice, he was so busy moving the both of you as well as keeping an eye on your face to watch how you were responding to his movements, he was too preoccupied.

The slick sounds coming from your pussy were evidence that the situation was much more of a stimulant than you ever expected, and the sound alone brought you so close to the edge.

“I bet you loved almost getting caught.” He groaned out, his movements stuttering, and you knew he must be close as well. “I bet it was driving you crazy, having to shut up while I gave it to you. You took it so well.” Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head, mouth open, you wouldn’t even be surprised if you were drooling at this point, Leon had all the power now.

“Leon,” You whispered, no energy for your full voice anymore. He understood.

“Take it, baby.” He thrust harder and harder, pressing you flat against the wall, the tip of his cock hitting all the deepest points. “I’m almost there, you feel so good.”

“Fuck, Leon,” If you could grasp any harder against his arms, you just did. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

“You got it, come on, cum for me.” He pressed his forehead into yours, grinding into you on the inward thrusts, making you fall apart in his arms. A few more thrusts, grinding a few more times, and a squeeze to your throat had you gasping in a silent scream around him, panting wildly letting your orgasm loose. 

He fucked you all the way through it. “Shit, that felt so good, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” You watched him as he chased his own, sweat beads dripping down his face, his hair coated in it. His hips stuttered one more time, and as he released his seed into you, he buried his face into your neck, whimpering and biting again. 

He pulled out of you, and it wasn’t missed by either of you the way his cum dripped out of you and onto the floor. You cracked a small smile when you heard him breathe a laugh.

“I’m sure that’s not the first time this bathroom has seen that.” He looked back up at you, breathing heavily, arms shaking from holding you up. You tapped his arms, hoping your legs were strong enough to stand on your own. He lowered you slowly, making sure you were stable before letting you go.

“I hope that’s what you wanted. I might have gotten ahead of myself.” He was still standing in front of you, neither of you made moves to leave the stall. You leaned against the wall for support.

“I would have stopped you a long time ago if it wasn’t, Leon.” He smiled down at you, breaths steadying out. He nodded his head.

“Coming to the house any time soon?”

You laughed out loud this time. “I’m sleeping over this weekend.” 

He smiled wider at the sound of your laugh. He leaned in and kissed you again. “Can’t wait.”

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy fanfiction #resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #fanfiction #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil 4 #leon s kennedy #resident evil 2 #leon kennedy x reader smut #female reader

[yuuneeyart]

Well it's been a while hasn't it? After everything that's gone on and my twitter suspension back in December, I've just decided to take a step back and focus on my personal life. Spending less time online, focusing on my job, that kinda boring shit that adults do.

But I have (slowly) and (only when I can) been working on shit. Mostly my Undertale creepypasta, UNDERTALE: The Garden. I'm sure some people remember that… but not many probably do. So I thought that since it's The Figure’s (formally Flower Child’s) birthday, I thought I'd show some stuff off.

art by me

So what is UNDERTALE: The Garden? Well.. UNDERTALE: The Garden is a story about an Undertale fan game that had been lost to time. The story focuses on the narrator finding an old and unfinished version of a fan game titled UNDERTALE: The Garden that had started its development fairly shortly after the original game’s demo had come out back in 2013. Created by an anonymous tumblr user who went by Tokumei, the game was originally meant to expand on the small amount of lore of the demo, adding more areas to the ruins, giving a new interpretation and backstory to the world, and much more. However the game went radio silent after a few years of development hell and Tokumei had not been seen since then.

Now years later, the narrator finds a gamejolt page with a familiar game on it. Excited to play it, they decided to discuss their findings on a tumblr blog. As well as archive any assets, information about development, and songs they can get their hands on. The narrator eventually finds out the game has much more to it than it was originally leading on…

art by me

There's a lot of things I have planned for the story that I don't wanna get into here (don't wanna spoil things before they come to light) but I've been working on making the actual world of The Garden much different than the original game. I've been taking an NES Godzilla approach for worldbuilding where the game just looks so vastly different from its original state using real life caves as well as Christian and Muslim imagery and cultures for inspiration for everything.

art by anonymous, pixel art by me and anonymous

But now the main attraction of the au, The Figure. She's definitely changed since you first met her 2 years ago. Instead of going to exes and helping them, she's now someone who simply wishes to be left alone. Staying in her world trying to make it as perfect as she sees it.

And now some trivia i guess for the funsies

She is not sentient, everything in the garden that happens is just a weird fangame.  The whole idea of *The game is alive and REAL!!!* has become a cliche of the creepypasta community that I don’t wanna repeat

She has a canon voice now, which can be heard here

Her facial expression never changes

The monsters that get deformed are still alive. If they were to die, you would have seen a pile of dust

art by me

That's all I have for now though, hopefully this at least peaked interest for some. This isn't me making a grand return either, just thought I'd at least post something about a character I've cared about for the past 2 years since it was her 2 year anniversary. Anyways, imma go to bed, cheers.

#undertale #undertale exe #undertale au #undertale creepypasta #creepypasta #i dont tag shit often #undertale the garden #uttg #sans #toriel

[batrachised]

Hi! I'm so excited that there's a Blue Castle book club happening, it's one of my favorite L. M. Montgomery books and also one of my favorite books of all time and seeing all the posts have made me so happy! I'm planning to reread Blue Castle via audiobook so I can catch up soon! :D

Also, I would love to know your thoughts on Jane of Lantern Hill - I love Jane, and the ending where her parents get back together always makes me cry 💜

I also loved your Blythe kids ranking post, my favorite is Rilla but Walter is a close second, and I have such a soft spot for Rilla/Kenneth.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling, your blog is amazing and I'm thrilled to see more l m montgomery/blue castle fans come out of the woodwork because of the book club!

Oh my gosh...someone asking me my opinion of Jane of Lantern Hill? Giving me an opportunity to talk about my FAVORITE LM Montgomery book??? A GIFT

First of all, about the blue castle book club: WELCOME!! I'm excited to read your thoughts as we approach these next chapters!! It is also one of my favorite LM Montgomery books and favorite books of all time, so I'd like to commend you on your taste. 😌 Rilla and Walter absolutely deserve the top two spots in the Blythe kid ranking as well!

I've written a post about Jane before, but I'll happily repeat some of my thoughts here.

I think Jane of Lantern Hill was one of the last LM Montgomery books I read. After reading so many, you develop expectations about who the main character of an LM Montgomery novel is. Without fail - Anne, Emily, the Story Girl, Rilla, Pat, Valancy Stirling- all of them are dreamy, sensitive, and poetic. This definitely ranges - Valancy is more acerbic than Anne, who is gentler than Emily, who is less ditzy than Rilla - but I think it's safe to say these are the hallmarks of an LM Montgomery main character (excluding short stories - never forget alexander abraham).

Jane is a wee bit of an outlier in this respect. While Valancy pores over John Foster, and Emily and Anne write poetry, and the Story Girl keeps audiences spellbound--Jane is noted to be brilliant in math. She definitely possesses many of the hallmarks listed above, from hating ugly houses to having a flair for reciting, but Jane has a hard practicality that isn't quite as present in the others. Unlike Anne, for example, Jane is very down to earth. That's why she's probably (okay this changes like every day but still) my favorite LM Montgomery heroine; I find her competence and sense appealing.

Now that I think about it, the book shares a lot in common with the Blue Castle. Much like Valancy, Jane is miserable at the beginning of her book, and much like Valancy, the book focuses on her finding a safe space and making it her own in a way. However, if The Blue Castle is romantic, Jane of Lantern Hill is cozy. It is extremely re-readable to me because it is the epitome of cozy. Jane also has to learn to stand on her own two feet and gain her own autonomy, but on its on a homier scale than Valancy's is.

Andrew Stuart is also one of my favorite male characters LM Montgomery has ever written. He holds strong in the top three with Walter and Barney every time. He's technically (on the most technical of technicalities) a romantic interest, but the lens of the book is Jane, and so the lens on Andrew is as a father - and this, this is where the book really shines.

Also, as I've written before, Jane of Lantern Hill is about father-daughter relationships in the most heartwarming way. Jane of Lantern Hill is a love story, but it's the love between a father and his daughter. Andrew Stuart, for all his flaws, is an exceedingly likeable character. Jane--and through Jane, the reader--feels safe with him, and it comes through on almost every page. I think this is what makes the book so cozy. It's the story of a little girl who lives a very cold and lonely life, only to find someone who loves her very much and in that someone, a home.

#also the grandmother is one of the best villains lm montgomery has ever written #jane of lantern hill #lm montgomery

[empty-pizza]

thoughts on nona the ninth epilogue and thoughts on the book and series overall

Some of you might not have checked the blog today and will just, come back to this post to find that I decided to read 2/3 of the book today and finish it. It was good but it wasn't just because it was good, I kinda just felt like finishing. I'm kind of exhausted and I'm not sure how much my lack of understanding of what's going down at the end comes down to the book being confusing, and how much is me having no more energy.

anyway

alecto breaking out

oh great we talking all shakespeare like now, this is really making it easy to follow (i am just very sleepy)

which fuckin child is who

okay so harrow is awake now (the fuck was all that going on with the tower then)

alright from alecto's attempt to kiss

i can understand why the lyctors would have called her a monster

okay so the ninth is the line of anastasia

so alecto is swearing herself to harrow

and gideon called her a slut

as it should be, i suppose

damn and she just

went and said hi to john

and stabbed him and he said good morning

man what the FUCK does any of this imply

i do not have the brain power to process any of these layers

like, what the fuck did john plan on, or want to happen

the river is DEAD? the fuck does that mean

what the fuck is any of this shit

give me answers

j;aijdgoiahdhuipfuoifhnoanononho;oi;oi;hasdi

asid;uihadso;fpihaj[POUIAHNDSO['IGH

gadzoinks

DOUIUHGIOWEOG

Anyway yeah I'd say this was the best book in the series so far. I generally enjoyed Nona's character more than the prior two protagonists. I enjoy when childish, whimsical, naive personalities are expressed realistically through prose. I also enjoyed gradually learning more about how Nona thinks and just what she is.

The plot kept its momentum better than the second book, and followed through with a better climax than the first book. I've spoken about what I disliked about those aspects of the earlier books in prior posts. Here, the situation kept changing and developing enough that it didn't get too stale. Even without Nona driving most of the changes, it felt like she had an effect on the things around her.

I'm kind of hoping the next book begins right after we left off. We already did big timeskips twice in a row, and we haven't even answered everything that happened in the last one.

My brain is just muddled in so many questions about magic mechanics, character motivations, character history, et cetera et schmetera, that I don't even know how to put into words yet.

Part of my satisfaction here is that I think the pacing of reveals was really good in this book. It kept piling on more and more the closer it got to the end. But it really just slammed me with a bunch more questions by the ends. Reveals that raise more questions are great, and this is the right time for them considering it's the penultimate book in the series, but jeez, I am just brain strained right now. My brain has gone through one of those machines where you turn the crank and the dough goes through and comes out as spaghetti shaped. Except like, in reverse, because my brain is smoother now.

I think this has been an overall strong series, but it's somewhat unique in that the lore was the main thing I cared about. Or at least, I cared about it disproportionately to how much I usually do. That's not to say that there wasn't great character work here; I totally understand those who primarily love this series for the characters. I think I posted plenty about how interesting many of them are; hopefully that speaks for itself.

In general, it does tend to focus more on static characters. Not every character is like this, but a lot of them don't really change much (not during books), but instead only get tested at key moments to demonstrate their beliefs and conviction. Which is a totally fine approach, when the characters are interesting people, and you can instead drive things a bit more via learning more about them. When changes do occur, it's often offscreen entirely — just look at Corona and Gideon this book.

It kind of comes down to what drives you to read the next chapter. I almost always wanted to read more to learn about the lore. I often, but not always, was curious about where the plot would go next, how predicaments would be solved. And I was interested in how characters would grow or change... less than average, I'd say.

Though, the line between lore and learning more about who characters are was often blurred. I'm just not sure how much it will appeal to me personally once I already know everything about them. Maybe it'll work great on reread someday, maybe it won't.

I think I'd call this one a strong 8/10. Definitely gonna develop my thoughts on this more in the coming days but I really need to get to sleep soon.

I kind of wonder in what ways these stories will stick with me, when my experience was so lore driven. I feel like my opinion on book 2 has gone down slightly since I finished it, as the high of the reveals wore off and I felt kind of dissatisfied a few other aspects. I definitely liked the plot/characters in this book more, but I still just need to see how I settle on feeling about it all in retrospect. I mean the thing is, when you're that driven by lore, I prefer when it sticks the landing. If I don't personally like the answers in the final book I might lose a little love for the series as a whole.

Edit: To clarify this point a little, it's really that there's two kinds of reveals. There's the ones that are actual reveals, which tended to be really interesting. And there's the ones that mostly engaged me on the basis of "this tiny detail could be implying really insane things later." Some of which paid off, some of which still haven't. It's a fun feeling to engage with while reading, but for me it relies not just on the reveals paying off, but me being left with an overall feeling that engaging with the narrative in that way was worthwhile. If the series ends up not really caring about rewarding readers for paying attention that much (which I'm not saying will happen, it's just always a possibility) then that takes away a lot of my enjoyment retroactively.

Of course, it's also possible that if I did a reread, I'd end up appreciating the character work a lot more than the first read, and end up caring about the lore a lot less! This is just what I engaged with on this read and my present experience. I definitely can't say I understand everything about the characters, so there might even be whole layers to how they grow and change that I just didn't pick up on here.

Fun series and I really enjoyed liveblogging it! I hope you don't mind me kind of just, rushing through the final book today. Trust me, that was out of enjoyment primarily (also the library has kind of wanted these back for a while). I appreciate everyone who enjoyed my posts and commented things, and I'll definitely be sticking around and reading more comments as I try to make sense of all the shit I just read. I hope you enjoyed my first-timer thoughts.

#pizza reads locked tomb #tlt #the locked tomb #nona the ninth

[electracution]

Okay, so I watched "all of us strangers" in the cinema yesterday. I'm not sure if this post will reach anybody and if this will be interesting to you, since this is a Tolkien blog, but I need to get it off my chest.

This film is an adaptation of Stranger by Taichi Yamada, which I haven't read, so I'm not judging it as an adaptation, but as a standalone work. There are different things you should pay attention to while you know the original story, so if you have read it and have something to share, comment please.

Also, yes, I'm aware it came out a while back, but it had its release in my country literally last week, so it's new to me.

There are no spoilers here, if you haven't seen it yet and are planning to.

This is a movie you have to experience yourself. I always Google the plot before watching a movie, but something prompted me to not do it this time and it was so worth it.

This movie is a masterpiece, simply put. And I don't throw this term lightly. From the pictures, to the perfectly chosen music for each scene (really, one song in the middle made me freeze, such a smart choice!), to the incredible performance of every actor on screen and the subtle and patient dialog... The haunting scene at the club, genuinely made my skin crawl. It's an incredible, though depressing, experience.

Now, a little information to make you want to go see it for yourself. It's queer (contains two short explicit scenes). It deals with subjects of loneliness and isolation (there are literally only four characters in the whole story and that really drives the point across) that comes from being different. It deals with substance abuse and other heavy subjects, like death and grief. And homophobia. Both in the past, as the characters speak about the AIDS crisis, and in the present.

(There is also a supernatural element, as a little treat. For those who enjoyed The Magnus Archives I can describe it as the lonely meets the corruption meets the end and the spiral. Yes, it's a lot. But if you know you know.)

I sobbed through the entire thing. So have tissues ready. Or maybe I'm just sensitive, who knows. As a lesbian who's never been in a relationship, I related to Adam... The fear of never finding love is to many queer people, unfortunately, unavoidable. And if you do, you think you have to cling to it with all you have and never let go. Even if it ruins you.

As I've stated before, this is a heavy film, so if you think any of the aforementioned topics could trigger you, don't watch it. If you don't think it will bother you, go for it. For the beautiful shots and music at least.

I'm planning on watching it again next week, so if my opinion changes I'll update this post and let you know. Art changes with us and sometimes time away from it can change your opinion.

Anyway, if anyone did watch the movie and wants to chat, or if you want to ask for more specific CW or TW write a comment :)

#personal #all of us strangers #movie review #movie recommendation #spoilers #queer film #this movie ruined me #but i needed a good cry so it's fine #tma

[andmineisyellow]

Hey, I know you are mostly a Polin blog, but I like to read your thoughts on here, so I thought I'd ask anyway: do you think it could be possible that bridgerton is doing the rich x poor trope with Eloise and Theo and instead saving a different storyline for Benedict (hopefully something queer 🤞)? And no, I'm not just saying this bc I like Theo, but since Ruby is most likely not coming back and I really can't see Eloise settling for some old man, idk... Btw, I haven't read any of the books, but what I've read about Eloise's and Benedict's arcs doesn't rlly make sense to me (sorry)

I wouldn't necessarily rule it out mainly because there are always practical/logistical reasons that may force the show to go in a different direction. That said, I don't think it's the current plan they have in mind.

Theo only exists in Eloise's world. He has a bit of a run-in with Whistledown as well, but he never interacts with Penelope directly. He exists only to push Eloise's story forward and because of that, he feels more like a plot device than anything else. He is there to demonstrate that Eloise is perhaps more interested in love than she realized and to drive a wedge between her and Penelope (and to try and convince the audience that Eloise is straight tbh).

Phillip, while still a supporting player, has been introduced to Bridgerton's larger world. He is familiar with the family through the Featheringtons and through Colin now as well. I don't know why the show would go out of its way to introduce Phillip and bring him back unless there was a plan to make him more important down the line. The only way I could see this changing is if Chris Fulton booked a bigger job elsewhere. As a guest star, he is not under a multi-season contract. Even then, there is always the option to recast.

It's not necessarily what I would like to see personally. Any storyline that involves Marina dying or having to abandon her children would probably outright ruin the series for me. I would much rather the show flip the script. They should kill off Phillip and have Eloise run away to Marina instead. They could still hit the basic plot points of TSPWL while avoiding killing off Marina and giving us the queer representation so many people have been asking for. If Ruby were to make the decision not to come back, there would be a precedent for recasting.

We all know that this won't happen as Netflix has shown over and over again that it's not interested in appealing to Bridgerton's potential queer/LGBTQ+ demographic. This is especially true for sapphic women in particular because Netflix worries about losing the straight female demographic that the show has been marketed towards. But I do think it's the option that would please the most amount of people and they're definitely missing out by excluding the queer community.

I don't know... changing Eloise's love interest from a white man to... another white man, wouldn't feel like a particularly bold or interesting move to me even if Theo is of a different class, I'm also not sure why the writers would be motivated to do so. But if the only alternative to Phillip is Theo, then I would much rather see Theo in the future than have to witness any harm coming to Marina.

And you're definitely right about Phillip and Eloise's books not lining up. They're my two least favorite in the series. A Cinderella Story is basic enough that it could still work for Benedict, but Book Eloise's love story is just super far removed from who Eloise is in the show.

#I have lots of complicated feelings about the way they're handling Eloise's story #I'm more concerned about about how they treat Marina than I am about how they tell Eloise's love story tbh #I would also love to see Benedict get a queer love story and I do think there's more of a chance there but I don't trust netflix lol #bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #ask #oh hello #not proofread

[dumbestthingiveeverheard]

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard: 7/24/2023

Fifth Place: Elon Musk

I'm sure most people saw that Elon Musk has changed Twitter's name from Twitter--one of the most recognizable names on the internet--to "X" the twenty-fourth letter of the alphabet. What exactly caused Musk to think this was a good idea is currently up for debate, but many are calling it another misstep--because it so obviously is.

To give everyone an idea of just how nonsensical this is from a business standpoint: Imagine if McDonald's woke up one day and decided to change its name from the highly well known one they've had since their founding, to "P." Just the letter P, nothing else.

Fourth Place: Ben Shapiro

I would like to thank Matthew Gertz on the platform now known as "X" for compiling these four images which I think perfectly sum up the disconnect between how conservatives think America works and how it actually works.

Third Place: Matt Walsh

Xing--which I assume is what we will now call tweeting--today, Matt had the following to say about feminism:

Anyway, here's Matt back in March:

So the owning of other human beings as property has been a net benefit to civilization, but not giving women the right to vote, open bank accounts on their own, work outside the home, and be able to report both sexual harassment and rape. Mockery--and possibly revealing information about how Matt views the world--aside: What does it even mean for a movement or ideology to kill a person? What possible metric could you be using to justify such a statement?

Second Place: Paul Gosar

Media Matters reported today that Gosar previously used his official newsletter to promote USSA News, a website which has engaged in Holocaust Denial. Postings from the website include:

USSA News on July 22 posted: “David Cole, a Jew, explores Auschwitz and debunks the claims that it was an industrial death camp – still on youtube for now but as more countries outlaw questioning the ‘holocaust’, it is uploaded here in case it is removed to censor inconvenient evidence.” 

USSA News on July 21 posted: “Making Adolf Hitler into a Jewish-controlled agent is quite a brilliant plot by International Jewry to divert newcomers away from learning the true history & background of National Socialism (Slavery).  Don’t be fooled! … Stand up for Hitler and National Socialism (Slavery)!!” The piece then promoted content on Renegade Tribune, a neo-Nazi site. 

USSA News on July 20 posted an article from the antisemitic site Unz Review attacking Jewish people, which begins by stating: “Untrue stories exist at each end of Jewish history’s three thousand years – fictional, fabricated and of immense magnitude.” It then claimed: “Towards the end of the 20th century as belief in the origin stories was fading away, the Holohoax morphed into a fearsome modern religion, in which belief is compulsory.” 

USSA News on July 17 lionized Hitler by writing that “the Kalergi Plan consists of the genocide of white people through miscegenation and mass immigration of non-whites to Europe. … Hitler was aware of Kalergi’s plan and did everything in his power to prevent it. Like Gobineau, Hitler considered the Aryan race to be the noblest, the best armed for the struggle for existence, the most beautiful, the most energetic, and the one with the greatest amount of creative genius. What this race lost by mixing it was not compensated by what the others gained by ennoblement.” 

I decided to check the website myself, and just today I found an article with the headline "God Is An Anti-Semite" which begins by showing this cartoon.

For those curious, that comic was made by a man named Farstar, here's some information about him according to a Wordpress blog sharing his name:

Farstar88 is a Fascist artist from South Africa who specialises in political cartoons as well as comics in order to provide a much needed narrative that is ruthlessly suppressed and excluded from mainstream consciousness. In a world of political correctness gone completely insane, telling a contrary story even if it is more than sufficiently backed up by facts, is considered an act of aggression and the victims apparently are those whose feelings get hurt when they can’t have their way.

You know, Paul Gosar hasn't really been subtle with his authoritarian leanings over the past few years, this is the man who buddies around with known fascist Nick Fuentes remember, but at some point you have to wonder--why doesn't he just come out and admit it? These aren't people with shaky pasts that you have to dig real deep to find information on, that bit about Farstar--I learned that in about three minutes through Google. At this point, one has to wonder what he has to loose by just loudly declaring that he is, in fact, a fascist--especially given everybody already knows that by this point.

Winner: Ron DeSantis

Speaking of fascists, DeSantis's campaign gave another shout out to its fascist supporters over the weekend through a staffer retweeting a campaign ad with this image of DeSantis superimposed over a fascist symbol.

Again, one has to even wonder why they try to hide it anymore.

Ron DeSantis, you've done the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

#elon musk #ben shapiro #matt walsh #paul gosar #ron desantis

[justablah56]

*sighs* tell me about your fursona /lh /pos

ok first off- Vik is that you 👁️👁️ you're the only one who I know has seen my fursona recently sbjsjdjs either that or it's rae who saw it on your blog and didn't interact w it so I wouldn't think it was him if they went on anon lmao- but methinks its vik

okay now I'm gonna actually answer- bUT INSERT THAT ONE ENTRAPTA MEME- THE "IVE WAITED Y E A R S FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ABOUT MY THEORIES" YEAH THATS ME RN- anon I am looking at you with my big ol autistic eyes that are sparkling with this 10 minute unstoppable rant that is about to occur (✧⁠ω⁠✧⁠)

SO ! ampen right ? my little guy ? my baby girl ? my beloved ? I'm gonna talk mostly abt their physical design than their other details bcs I have more notes abt their physical appearance than anything :]

I have no idea what they are, I kinda just started drawing her abhdjsjsj but I think the two most notable animals he could conceivably be are probably a fox and a dragon of some sort (original I know) however I do want to give an honorable mention to my first draft of them, bcs goddamn I changed a lot abt her bsjdhsjjs. at first he was just completely a dog but I decided to give them those 3 fingered claw/hoof things, here's the very sketchy guy herself who inspired Ampen:

yeah snndjsn basically the only thing that stayed the same was the vague color scheme and the "hooves" changed from the hands to the feet. a lot of ampens physical design was just cool things I saw in other fursuits that I thought would be cool, like I just loooove the hoof feet, they look v cool and I just like them a lot, so I included them ! (I didn't in my first real drawing of ampen but then I did on their character sheet) same with the tail, I'm p sure at the time of ampens actual creation I had recently seen a dragon fursuit with that kind of tail and was obsessed with it, I tried so many different tails for him and none of them were looking quite right until I tried their current tail, and I love it . the dragon bit also comes out in her muzzle, it's a bit more pointed and sharp than a canine muzzle would be, again mostly just bcs I think it looks neat :] and I knew I wanted my fursona to have big ol ears from the very beginning, I didn't put them on ampen-rough-draft bcs I didn't start with the intent for him to be my fursona sbjdjdjs but anyways- the fur pattern took me a while to come up with, I started with just vague splotches of color in random spots, messed around with specific colors, I don't think I decided on the pink stitch mark things until like- the very end dnjsjjd I have no idea where I came up with it , I was just trying random things and hoping they looked right lmao-

I gave them glasses bcs . I have glasses . and I think it's cute and there aren't enough furrys with glasses :3 then added the piercings bcs I think they look cool and that's really it bajshjejskwks

anyways , now for the couple things that aren't visible on a drawing, I imagine her being like 5'4 MAX , he's pretty short . mostly bcs I am v short and plan to actually make ampen, and that's a height I could realistically get to accounting for the ears hdjwjdjjejdke anyways, I don't really have many other little facts about them since they're basically just me personality-wise, so make of that what you will ! I will however GLADLY answer more specific questions if you (or anyone else 👀) have them bcs it will give me an excuse to come up with answers abhdjsjdjsjjd

anyways- this is all to say that I'm in love with Ampens design and I really should draw him more often and also probably just develop them more tbh- BUT ! ty v much anon for enabling me to ramble about Ampen, they're my most specialest little guy and I love her <33

#just blahs #ampen oc #oc ampen #tee hee thank you anon <3 #furry oc #furry community

[poohsources]

HELLO EVERYBODY! been a while since i did one of these, i hope you're all doing well, and have a great day / night wherever you are. i'm officially back from my vacation which means i'm officially returning to this blog. yay! now you might be wondering what exactly this means, and truthfully, i'm not too sure yet either. what i do know is that i plan on being around here more regularly. also, i'm planning to finally start working on the christmas giveaway gifts ( if you're one of the winners i've messaged previously, i'll message you again in a few days to discuss details ).

another thing i'm not sure i've mentioned here yet: i got a new job last month which means i definitely don't have as much time anymore as i did previously. it's also one of the reasons i've been so absent since the start of the year because i had to get used to it, learn some new stuff, etc. my schedule changes every week so i can't even give you reliable info on when i'll be able to be here and do stuff but i promise you that'll be something i'll figure out.

anyway, as for content i've planned, i really should start going through my inbox and try to answer as many questions there as possible. things have been really piling up in there and i'm very sorry about the delay in answers. there are also a few requests (primarily for certain kinds of memes ) that i will be working on slowly but surely. in terms of memes, i have some half-finished ones sitting in my drafts so i might just post these sometime soon. additionally, there are some other things i started working on a while back ― like some psds, templates, etc. ― that i might try finishing. so just a whole bunch of new content to use.

one new thing i might try out in the future is something one of you mentioned when i made that post about putting some very time-consuming or image-heavy templates behind some kind of temporary paywall. not sure how exactly i'm gonna do this yet ( i have a few ideas and websites, like patreon, in mind already, but i first want to see all the different possibilities i have on what site and what makes it the easiest and most user friendly for both you and me ). but that is something that's probably gonna take a few weeks / months still ― we'll see.

even though i could probably go on for a while and tell you about everything that's going on in my mind regarding this blog and its future, that's gonna be all for today. because honestly ― none of it is ever set in stone and while i do have some exciting things i wanna do here, real life can always get in the way so i feel back if i make too many promises i then have to delay. but i'm gonna try my best because i care about all of you people, the rpc as a whole, this stupid little hellsite i could curse multiple times a day, and although it's not much i do wanna contribute a little something to make this a nicer place for everyone.

so yeah, take care everyone, don't forget to drink enough water and get enough sleep, and i'll talk to you again soon. 🧡

#pooh speaks. #pooh's (ir)regular updates.

[pashminalamb]

okay first of all *clears throat* how are you? are you feeling better? has the tea and comfort show binging been helping? i hope you get better soon!! second I FREAKING LOVE THE NEW THEME THE HECK IT LOOKS SO GOOD!!!! and third for the ask game can I ask 🤩, 🔮, and 💌? and fourth. Oh my God. The fact that you love Haikyuu and Tokyo Revengers is literally amazing adhkkjhhhgf. Who’s your favorite character? Are you caught up in the manga? Did you hear the devestating news that the rest of Haikyuu is gonna be animated into 2 movies? I wanna sob like they can’t do my comfort show like this there are too many scenes they’re gonna have to cut out and God forbid maybe some matches too *sobs*. And Tokyo Revengers only had two chapters left. Yes I’m totally fine what are you talking abt 🙂🙂🙂. Last weeks chapter and this weeks chapter freaking destroyed me. I mean I say that abt every chapter but like THESE TWO GAVE ME SO MUCH WHIPLASH LIKE *screameths*. Anyways. I hope you’re doing good and that your day goes well!! As always *sends many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

✨ anon !! Hi lovely !! ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა

I just got back from the doctor's, took my meds and healing, kinda bummed out that my roommates went for a halloween party dressed as ghostface basic bitch and the other was gluskin (he didn't look terrifying but his manners were; 'for the sake of our children') but i got chocolates so i'm happy and November is here (¬‿¬)

AND I HIT 900 FOLLOWERS!!

Its my birthday month so I have an excuse to skip out on No Nut November... but my writing? It's gonna go up a notch (¬‿¬) with the possibility of making it hard for you guys; pun intended.

I'm deciding to roll with pink as my theme. Spooktober is over and now its my month so I'm going with pink cause its my favorite color.

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ აThe theme is still in the making... but I'm taking my time with it and trying to make the blog look pretty. Theme said being; dangerous but cute

For the ask game :

🤩 : What led to your interest in the fandom?

I blame my brain, youtube, pinterest and instagram for this.

I was pretty active in the knb and bnha fandom (i was an aomine fanatic, still am tho) and bnha is something I've put on hold for now. With wattpad, tumblr followed and soon ao3 (my ex friend had to teach me how to use it). After instagram came, I got to see edits and that piqued my interest in the anime and I also followed pop culture accounts (that's how I found jjk and tr). Then came the writing. I've always had a knack for it, winning creative writing certificates in school and even writing for papers, there was always an idea that I had so, I decided to use it for writing x reader inserts for characters.

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

There can be a lot of reasons for a writer to have a burnout or have a writing block but its mostly to do with pressure imo. Can be because you feel that your writing is not good enough, could be that you want to keep the follower count high, could be a rivaling author or any reason.

To avoid a burnout, you need detachment and discipline. Don't write it all in one day (unless you're really up for it) make a bit of progress every day and add content to your writing. Don't let your readers force you into updates, taking your time with it is what makes the writing and reading more savory. If you have a writer's block, try something new. A change in environment always helps and there's not one particular thing you have to stick to. Watching a show and reading books has helped me understand the style of my writing better. You can follow writing prompt blogs as well and build your storyline around it (I prefer to create my own content so I have my own writings prompts).

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

Enemies to lovers (please the amount of hate sex I thrive on - five wrong one right readers know), forbidden love (planning to start this for Toji), mythology ( i had this in my wip and then I had to take it down), partners in crime (Bllk) and best friends to lovers (planning to write this for Bllk)

Basically, dark romance, slow burn, angsty with comfort themes.

Haikyuu : I really can't choose tbh cause I like all of them... sawamura daichi, miya twins, kuroo, Kageyama, Haiba Lev (victor and yuri's lovechild) and bokuto (the himbo captains sue me)

Tr : I like Shiba Hakkai (mans too precious and is the baby. Can't look a woman in the eye and yes, I like shy boys but he's also kinda a himbo), Mitsuya (must be protected at all costs), Kisaki tetta (his brain is sexy), Wakasa Imaushi, Inupi (reminds me of shoto) and Kawaragi Senjuu.

Tell me your fav characters! (/ω＼)

Oml. The rest of haikyuu is gonna be made into 2 movies? This is as bad as taking beefy Bokuto away from the anime. smh its starting to look like the repeat of beastars and promised neverland (remember how disappointing that was? They literally skipped an entire arc with Hugo in it)

I'll have to catch up with tr. I haven't read the manga in months now but it wasn't a surprise that it was coming to an end; saw a lot of posts instagram about that

Chainsawman on the other hand. You guys aren't gonna like Makima. The manga readers already hate her.

*Sending back hugs*

#saint.σ #.lost sheep : ✨ anon

[ruki--mukami]

So, dress up game made into an official tag?

BTW, are you planning the open interaction for August of will you continue one from July?

🧩 Yep, the dress up game is seen as an "event" of sorts to me, so I decided to give it its own tag much like the other memes, special occasions, and holidays seen on this blog. It's also an attempt at me organizing my blog since a lot of my posts are all over the place given how there's over 4.4K of them now.

Also, I planned on being a lot more active with the July open interaction, but as you can see I got distracted by other things going on the blog. Sorry to those I haven't replied to yet, but I'm hoping to extend it to August since that's still summer time for me anyways and it lines up, ahahaha. So, I've decided to keep that open for two months as opposed to the usual one, since it was the open interaction with the most participants thus far. ^^ The first one (grocery shopping) had 12 different threads, the bite one had 7, and then the beach one totally blew those two out of the park with a whopping 16. I also don't want to punish those who haven't participated by neglecting their threads (unrelated to any event) either, but I've been slacking on those too honestly. Basically what I'm trying to say is — I hope to reply to everyone soon, no matter which thread it is.

For the August open interaction, I originally planned on doing a summer festival setting but now that I think about it, the Japanese festivals are usually to honor some kind of god or the changing of seasons from what I read. It's ironic for a Vampire to want to attend that, lmao. Though I suppose it doesn't have to be a religious thing, and on the plus side, Ruki gave a ton of kimonos out recently so it kind of fits HAHAHA. Definitely let me know what you think about the idea for those who are (or aren't) interested in a summer festival open interaction for August. I intended on alternating between open interactions in terms of cruel vs soft (grocery store - soft, random bite - cruel, beach - soft) which would mean the August one would have to be a bit dark to maintain that balance.

And since I've honestly got so many open interaction ideas, I'll probably spoil them under the cut for those who want to "prepare" in any sort of way. 🧩

So, I already mentioned that for August I had a summer festival idea planned, but I'll at least reveal what I anticipated for the remainder of the year.

September — I was going to do a Vandead Carnival type of thing, but honestly, that might be too similar to the festival activities, haha. I don't like to make things repetitive. However, I might make it a school open interaction instead after finding out more OCs attend the academy than I expected. Though I'm not sure what exactly they're going to do at school just yet (maybe partners for an assignment, maybe a library encounter, I'm still vacillating between options).

October — Now, here's where things get a little crazy. My friend suggested that Ruki should hold a Halloween event where he judges everyone's costumes for the fun of it (there is no "ranking" system or "winner" or anything like that — he just wants to see people dress up, and I'm still working on the reasoning for that as well, haha). Of course, I will dress him up as well and perhaps even draw something over his sprite to align with the Halloween spirit. Really tempted to do a Vampire dressed up as a traditional Vampire for the laughs again.

November — I think an open interaction where you cook with Ruki might be cute. Hoping to make him invite the person he's interacting with to the Mukami manor to help him test a recipe of his choosing.

December — Of course, I'll be damned if I miss out the opportunity for a Christmas date. Yes, it's weird for Vampires to celebrate Christmas, but there is actually a Mukami Christmas special in Vandead Carnival so I'd like to create a similar atmosphere as that. I already did one like that last year where they went shopping together but we don't talk about my 2021 writing. So, instead of Christmas shopping, I'd like to plan something more romantic. By then, I'm hoping his current relationships will be more fleshed out, and for any newcomers, it could be a ploy for Ruki to bite them later most likely.

I got more ideas cooking in my head but I don't want to reveal too much.

#the admin speaks

[bryan360]

Here’s my note before I’ll get started….l

(DON’T YOU EVER COPY FROM MINE OR MY FRIEND’S WORK, CHARACTERS, AND STUFF IF ONE OF YOU ARE IMPOSTERS WHO HAD HABITS OF PLAGIARISM! I WILL BLOCK YOU FROM MY BLOG IF I SEE YOUR POST WITH MINE OR MY FRIEND’S ORIGINAL WORK BEING EDITED ALL OVER! I’LL EVEN SHARE IT ONTO MY BLOG SO IF EVERYONE WILL SEE THAT YOU TRYING TO COPY MINE OR MY FRIEND’S THINGS FOR NO GOOD REASON WHATSOEVER! That will be all….I mean it.)

My Owned iPad (5th Generation) Device

🇵🇷Me: Hi there to everyone and to my closest friends! I got a surprise share for all of you as I'm going through this month; especially if I'll be coming back to my digital style drawings. However due from my iPad Mini's storage running out that I've mentioned from last month's post. ⬇️

Link Here

🇵🇷Me: Although I understand while making some options, my P-Pal told me to get a new flash drive so hoping it'll make more storage for my iPad device to expand. So there's that, but as I'm making this post, I do have some surprises that my mom give me while eventually wait to get a flash drive soon. It'll take awhile to explain through this, but hear me out that I got myself another iPad Device!

My Story Explain:

Back in April. 23rd, 2022; while I was continue my secret art trade drawing in progress with my iPad, but struggle so many times as long the storage data was full. It's disappointed if I'm unable to do my upcoming digital artworks unless I would to upgrade my iCloud storage space or getting a new iPad for Christmas this year or another year before that. That being said, I got myself an unexpected surprise from my mom give me. I believe it happens during the afternoon while I was working, my mom called to me and give me this tablet that she originally was hers years ago. Although times change when moving into her newer tablet as of today, but for me it was something I was hoping to have as well. I've been having my original iPad Mini device since I got from 🎄🎅Christmas of 2015. ⬇️

Link Here #2

While It had been aged that I would make some comparisons through details soon, but still at least running well without any technical problems to power up my iPad Mini tablet. For now though, it still had storage data full that I would leave it until I can get a flash drive to expand soon. However with my mom's used tablet device that I'll be happy to take care of; especially if means to get back my digital artwork plans going forward. Looking at it though, I went searching online to found out that's the 5th Generation iPad; originally been released back in March. 24th, 2017 (before discontinued through March. 27th, 2018) to receive positive reviews. Although you already know before while I showing this by surprise, but it was interesting nonetheless. Still I would love to have my own newer versions. Anyways, it designed like from any iPad devices. Unlike with my iPad Mini though, this iPad had 9.7 inches display with Touch ID and Multi-touch screen option than what my iPad Mini can do. Hoping if I'm right that I would to use it on both YouTube and PicsArt at the same time during my work progress. It'll be like with my Samsung Tab E that it works on multi-tasking as well, but differently.

Also came with it was this old cover case that I'll be keeping until I can get a newer one due to having scratches. Looks like its been really long that I would considered, but at least nothing lot to handle. I would to figure what brand for this cover case made from though.

🇵🇷Me: Well, this is how far I can remember after my mom give me her used iPad device to own. For that, it was a miracle thinking I could imagine. Me having the 5th Generation iPad for the first time like ever. Though it was something if I would to upgrade or move to another tablet with better performance and running longer battery run. However, I'm still keeping my iPad Mini device with me as long it was still works well. Time will tell if I do move forward with a much better iPad device in the near future, but for now there's nothing to rush on. What that being said, I'm gladly to take care with my own 5th Generation iPad after my mom give me. Here's hoping my digital artwork plans to continue as well. In fact, I wanted to get into my birthday art gift before Friday 6th for my P-Pal turning 29th this year. Anyways, I'm letting you guys to react after revealing my surprise post I gotten. How about my mains though?

🐰🖌Maxwell: That's really a surprise after your mom give this tablet for you who's originally was hers. Though while it wasn't a newer version we're looking for, but at least came close to be his first 5th Generation iPad to own.

🐰👊💥May: Yeah, something like that. It was nice of you having your mom give you this iPad as a gift of sorts.

🦊⚽️Sam: Indeed. Sometimes its better than to wait of getting a newer iPad device for Christmas, but just saying.

🇵🇷Me: Thanks for giving your thoughts, you guys. There's more things I can cover with this iPad soon. Until then, see ya guys guys for my latest art post share to go through. 👍🏼

Tagged: @murumokirby360 @carmenramcat @alexander1301

#photos #pics #special post #surprise post #ipad #ipad device #5th generation #5th generation ipad #tablet #cover case #tablet cover case #etc. #may 2022 #may 4th 2022

[smokeyreeve]

Going Unreal

Hello. Been a bit.

I wrote this blog post last night for my ModDB page, then it suddenly occurred to me that I could share it here too. So here it is!

Learning a new engine is something that I have wanted to do for years, however due to self imposed mental barriers never followed through with beyond installing Unreal or Godot, opening each once or twice, then returning to the familiar land that is Unity.

I guess my thought process in all this time centred around an idea of diminishing returns, that switching engine would result in a game that was no where near the best of my ability, all due to the fact I didn't have the years of practice with this new engine... I have never released anything for Unity other than a gamejam project so this thought process was flawed from the start, however it persisted.

That was of course until Unity had its big "masks off" moment, henseforth known as "the fuckening".

The Fuckening occurred in the midst of me preparing to return to working on my upcoming collaborative project, GORE. This was a Unity ran boomer shooter that myself and my friend Caleb Ralph have had in the works on and off since 2018. We were making some good progress with it before I had to take an extended leave from the project due to having a baby, and so returning to work on it was an exciting prospect. But that excitement was shattered by The Fuckening.

It's not to do with the money... Being realistic, GORE was never going to make $1million. But after a string of poor business decisions by Unity Technologies (each of which at the time prompted a meeting about potentially switching engine), the sudden jumpscare that was the news being revealed, the "double down" and "You're just confused" attitude by the company and the lack of information on how they plan on enforcing the install checks which are most likely some kind of forced DRM... We were rightly pissed off. We stuck with this engine for the last couple years despite the companies weird compulsion to ditch its developers and their actions kept getting worse. This was the last straw. And with that last straw meant the crumbling of our projects made using the engine, aka GORE.

So what next?

Well GORE didn't die. We didn't plan this for 5 years just to give up now. We just switched engine and started at square one again, as detailed here.

Honestly when writing that post we were under the impression that the engine change would completely bog down development of the game, however it hasn't! As a matter of fact development is now progressing quicker than it ever has before and that's all due to the fact that Unreal Engine 5 has so many quality of life features that should be standard!

Player Controller? That's up and running and with some tweaking will be even better than the one we spent way too long perfecting in Unity.

Decals? No more floating planes! We got actual decals!

Gamemodes? That's just a standard feature in unreal.

I'm baffled by this switch, the wall for so long was the difficulty and time it'd take to learn from square one all over again and yet the switch to Unreal Engine has instead felt like we've been freed! I'm excited for our future using Unreal Engine and now feel more motivated than ever before! GORE will come. It will be great. And many, many more games will come down the road!

Anyway, that's all I wanted to speak about... This is an off the cuff thing that I'm considering making a habit of, maybe in the form of YouTube videos (although with a baby around that might not happen). To any developers out there, give Unreal Engine a proper go. In the immortal words of Todd Howard, It just works!

#gamedev #tech #programming #unreal engine

[magical-girl-topic]

Hey! Its been a while 0_0

I had a lot going on when I started this blog, idk why I thought I could keep it up. But now I'm hoping to make a come back.

Anyway, this magical girl is Calamity Mary from the series Magical Girl Raising Project, there are 12 episodes of the anime and I believe 15 manga volumes? Correct me if I'm wrong! :3 I bought the first manga volume during the summer at my local comic book shop, but then I had a ton of renovations done to my room and had to store all my stuff in the attic for a while, so i never got around to reading it until last week! Its a pretty easy read, took me about 45 minutes, and it was super interesting! I plan on buying the next two volumes very soon!! I believe before the manga there was a novel series, I'd love to check that out too! So far Calamity Mary is my favorite, but that'll probably change!

I'm going to show you crunchyroll's description of the anime, and then I'll talk about what happens in the manga, I'll try my best to give as little spoilers as possible, hopefully none at all!!!, but I'm not very good at that, so I apologize in advance. Anyway, crunchyroll's description:

"Magical Girl Raising Project is a popular social game that has an ability to grant players a 1 in 10,000 chance to become a real life Magical Girl with unique magical abilities to help people. However, at some point, Fav, the magical administrator fairy, decides to cut the population of Magical Girls in half. The game quickly changes into a twisted, wicked battlefield as the 16 magical girls get dragged into a battle for survival against each other."

So yeah! The animes pretty much the same as what I read. Here's how I'll describe it.

Magical Girl Raising Project is a very popular mobile game, its wonderfully made and its free! Anybody can play! But theres a rumor going around, a rumor that random players have been selected to become real life magical girls. And that rumor is true. 16 people have become magical girls, but fav has decided that's too many. Every magical girl has to collect magical candy, whoever has the least candy by the end of the week is eliminated... and dead! :3 Nobody here wants to lose their life! So, some magical girls have to take matters into their own hands...

dun dun dunnnn!!! But yeah, its super duper good so far!! I'm gonna watch the anime over april break. :D

Thanks for reading luvs! Have a great break and stay magical. <3 xoxo

#magical girl anime #magical girl #magic #anime #anime and manga #anime girl #manga #manga series

[ghostlyfirenut]

OMG ok so: it's the end of December 2022, I just looked back over all my posts from the past year and a half. Holy smokes what a fucking year its been; and the funny thing is that all of my posts here are about how "I want to lose weight but I'm still kinda skinny but wouldn't it be great if I was 10 pounds skinnier" ??? Like girl the growth we've been thru, the journey we've been on, and you're still out here obsessing over 10 pounds? (Yeah and realistically it's not going away we're gonna carry that for the rest of our life probably it's just funny to see every single post being like a pep talk about losing weight and then making zero effort to follow thru on it for longer than like two days. Yeah but *this time is different* maybe maybe not we'll see I guess.)

Beyond the fact that my weight has been consistently fluctuating between 113-121; it's still been a hell of a year. Honestly amazed at how far we've come. Can't wait to see where next year takes us. Hopefully some mental + physical discipline. Hopefully some more career growth. Hopefully some relationship improvements, friendships etc. Other than that I'll be happy to see where it all goes. Maybe the yoga practice should be my focus right now... It's a 2 in 1 mental/physical strength practice, it's a good starting point, it's easy to do once you get past the first 3 weeks and then the consistency will carry itself forward... Idk I'm overthinking it just let it unfold.

Just funny to see where I am now vs where I was this time last year : literally in the same place, but 50% improvement on mindset, soooo many crazy unforeseen adventures between then and now, 20,000 miles of traveling around the country, (California! Arizona! Oklahoma! Arkansas! Tennessee! Michigan! Maryland! Virginia!Delaware! Florida! Louisiana! Alabama! Etc etc, everywhere in between!) It's been a hell of a year. I was about to start listing everything but honestly I've been recording it elsewhere and no one reads this blog so why bother. Mostly for my own notes: the weight fluctuates. You gain weight when you sit around doing nothing drinking alcohol; you lose weight when you're active all day walking 10 miles carrying heavy things. You're gonna go back down and then go back up and it's gonna keep happening until you find some consistency. Focus on starting a daily practice and after a month of just doing*something* every day you can reevaluate if you need a more specific plan or whatever. It's not about the number on the scale it's about how my body feels, what I can do with it.

Anyway. Cheers to a good year of growth and love and fun. Excited to see where next year goes. Can't believe how much has changed and also how nothing has changed and also how everything has changed. Life is fucking weird!!!!!!! I love you!!!!!!!!