#Almost terrifying how obsessed I am with my beauty

[bbyquokka]

12:04 am (hhj)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | timestamp, smut – 18+ is strongly advised!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | vampire hyunjin, human reader, established relationship, consumption of blood (hyunjin feeds), vampire bites, cock warming. ( if i missed any, lmk! )

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 1k ~ ( 1,041 )

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 | i've been playing a lot of baldur's gate 3 (can you guess who i'm obsessed with trying to romance 👀) and ig it inspired this lil thing? idk, i wanted to write vampire stuff soooooo

♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

his unusually soft hands holding your hips. his sharp nails digging into the skin, threatening to break the skin and make you bleed. his pale white skin looking ethereal in the shimmering moonlight. his white, shoulder length hair that's half up, half down flowing with the gentle and cool breeze.

to a passing stranger, it simply looks like two normal humans making love under the moonlight after a date but oh no–this is much different.

his eyes shut tightly, plump lips parted as he moans your name in between the short, laboured breaths. his teeth all seem normal, human almost, aside from the two sharp fangs that threaten to pierce the skin of your neck at any moment. 

he loves you and you love him but neither of you should succumb to such feelings. humans and unnatural creatures intertwining with one is almost like a curse. but you taste so sweet and sound so sinful to him. your skin heats his cold, pale skin. your blood is so sweet, it's like drinking honey straight from a beehive. 

he rescued you. he found you in the woods one night whilst on a hunt. he smelt your blood from a mile off and rushed to the scene, hoping to feast. he didn't expect to stumble across your passed out body, bruises and cuts decorating your skin. 

you were running from something; but what exactly? a bear? a hungry wolf perhaps, either way hyunjin saved the questions for later–he had more pressing matters to worry about.

he smelt your blood but so did the other vampires in the vicinity. he doesn't know why but he scooped you up and carried you to his lair. he cared for you, nursed you back to health. when you awoke, understandably you were terrified to be face to face with a vampire.

but hyunjin felt different. he showed compassion which most vampires don't. majority of them look at humans and think ‘food!’ but hyunjin. he held no matter how tough it got for him. he let you stay with him until you had enough strength to fend for yourself but you both grew very close to one another and the thoughts hyunjin was having of feasting on you, shackled him with guilt.

he feasted on deer's, wolves and bears but his insatiable hunger burnt. it clawed its way at him, desperate to be fed what he wants the most and that's you. he's smelt your blood, he cared for you and knows what it looks like and, to him, it looks so delicious.

one day, you offered him your wrist. he's been feasting on nothing but animals for weeks, he's not getting what he needs. the hunger, the thirst; it burns. you found him on his knees in his bedroom in a cold sweat, panting. you didn't recognise him and it scared you.

his fangs on full display. hair sticking to his skin and his red eyes blown out, captivating you and shackling your feet to the floor with fear. he came crashing onto you as soon as you gave him the ok to feast on your wrist. the first time hurt and you were left weak and dizzy for days but the more you allowed him to feast on you, the more you got used to it.

“look at me.” you whisper as you cup his cheeks. his eyes slowly flutter open revealing those blood red pupils you love. “so beautiful.”

“says you. you look gorgeous underneath the moonlight. your skin is so pretty. i'm two thousand years old and i've never felt more alive.”

“s-sh.” you mumble before moaning as he thrusts into you from below. he sits up and wraps his arms around your back, holding you close to his pale chest. his body is decorated in deep scars and old battle wounds. two distinct circle scars on his own neck indicating that he once was human.

“yn, i'm hungry.” he whispers as he eyes the flesh of your neck. he can feel and hear the blood pumping through your veins. he wants it. he wants a taste.

“do you want my wrist, hyun?” 

“no. i want more.” you swallow and look at him. puppy dog eyes, those eyes you can't resist. he sticks his bottom lip out in a pout and whines softly. “please?”

“you know i can't say no when you look at me like that.” you mumble. hyunjin grins, his fangs showing. he stills his hips, allowing your warmth to pleasure him. 

you tilt your head to the side, extending your neck as hyunjin holds onto the other with his hand. his cold yet oddly hot palm setting your own skin on fire. he brushes his lips against your flesh as he inhales your sickly sweet scent that he's been addicted to since day one.

he grazes his teeth along the skin. you hold your breath as his fangs scratch the surface. he gives your neck a soft and gentle kiss before his fangs penetrate the skin.

you whimper in pain. the stinging sensation tingling up your spine and to your fingertips. the air being knocked out off your lungs as you gasp. you grip onto hyunjin as you squeeze your eyes shut. hyunjin's penis twitches inside of you as he drinks your sweet nectar. every pool of blood coats his tongue in a sweet and savoury taste making him want more.

he's addicted and it's dangerous. he could easily drink you dry. with each passing second, you feel your blood leaving your veins. your head dizzy and lightheaded, eyes fluttering shut slowly as all your strength depletes from you.

hyunjin drinks and he drinks some more. his penis twitching and orgasm threatening to hit him. he groans, his grip on you tightening. more is all he thinks about. more more more more!!!

“h-hyun jin…” you choke out. he snaps out of it, pulling from your neck quickly. he cups your cheeks gently, blood coating his lips and the tips of his fangs.

“yn?! oh fuck! yn, are you ok?!”

“fine. i'm fine.” you say with a weak chuckle. hyunjin chews his lips, watching as you reach up and wipe away the blood from his lips.

“vampires are so messy.”

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 (𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍) | @bintificreads ; @oshimee ; @septicrebel ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer ; @lilquokka04

#kwritersworldnet #wkcnet #straykidsland #skz smut #stray kids smut #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin x you #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #hyunjin x reader #skz x you #stray kids x you #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz timestamps #skz oneshots #skz scenarios

[judasgot-it]

I’m in love with your writing like omg🩷could i request what kind of lovers are Dazai, tecchou and Nikolai?

(english is not my mother tongue so i dont mean cheat btw…)

IVE BEEN WANTING TO GET TO THIS ASK FOR A WHILE BUT I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK AND AAAAAA

I have SO many headcannons about these fools oh lord. Also hoping I got what you meant cuz I won't lie I am a bit SILLY.

Headcannons: what kind of lovers are they? Dazai, Tecchou, Nikolai

Dazai

He sees his own misery inside of you, which he thinks is romantic. He thinks its beautiful that the two of you can understand each other's suffering in a way no one else can.

I don't think I need to state that while this is romantic in a literary sense, it's a major red flag

Dude would 100% want to do things that he thinks are "romantic" for couples to do together.

For example - murder-suicide, robbing stores together, double-suicide, arson, planning each other's funerals-

Man has a sick sense of romance and death

But he can be romantic!! Sometimes.

Despite being young he knows how to actually take care of his lover - at least in technicality

What he really enjoys, however, he has to suppress

That cold cold sick heart of his wants to isolate them, keep them away from everyone - but he knows that isn't really a human thing to do

So the type of lover he really is the kind of guy who can really only bond over either sex or when you're drunk/sad over the past

dude wouldn't even be able to have sex without crying or would have to do it in the dark, like he just gets too emotional and insecure

100% obsesses over your own trauma and will take any time he can to talk about it - but never his own

sorry dude has red flags ALL over in my mind, I just don't think he would do happy stuff because he would think it's very fake

He can't enjoy any happy occasion, especially dates

definitely thinks weed, deftones, and sex is a good date

Don't date this man if you try to break up with him he will come to your doorstep whimpering and crying telling you that he's gonna kill himself and that you're the only one for him even though he cheated on you

he just strikes me as a messy kind of person

Tecchou

Wants to be your hero. He knows your strong - but he wants to be strong for you. You deserve to be protected from the dangers of the world.

He believes in justice and is a MASSIVE dweeb for "playing the hero"

Man has good intentions that are EXTREME

So yea, he is a bit of an extreme lover

If he can, he'll protect you from anything. It's just his thing

He will try to eradicate all of your fears. Scared of the dark? Your house is brighter than the sun. Scared of bugs? sad, but he will chase them away.

Does this mean he's good at romance? Not really. He'll do anything you tell him too though

Literally anything. Almost. He wouldn't kill someone, but yea that man would 100% try a lot of weird and freaky shit.

would also not care if you weren't into sex. pretty sure that if he likes someone he is just LOYAL lol

although tbh he doesn't strike me as the horny type he just is too dedicated to his job like I'd give it 20/80

idk if he's a freak either like he's probably seen some weird nasty shit so he either is the most vanilla man to walk this earth or is into some weird ass shit.

(I bet it's cake sitting or some food shit. He and Ranpo are too similar, they would both be into weird food shit)

ANYWAY Tecchou is one of those guys who would do cute shit like open the door for his partner everywhere and hold their bags

It's very sweet. Bro 100% lifts.

probably calls while at work which is terrifying and horrible cause you'll hear gunfire but he'll pretend it's normal

Man is also technically property of the state so just know that if you're in a relationship with him you will always have someone stalking you, as you are now a threat to national security

but it's worth it for Tecchou <3

also, he has a huge bank account I bet but would buy either useless gifts or upgrade everything his partner owns cuz he probably only wears his military uniforms and compression shirts.

What's he gonna spend his money on, really?

Nikolai

The world is cruel and predictable, especially with people like him. He hates someone having control over him, so he would only love someone if he chose to - which is fickle at best.

AHHHH omg he's so hard to pin down because Nikolai 100% would be the worst person to have as a lover (jk)

Hot and Cold by Katy Perry esq

Like, 100% if he loves them he LOVES them but if he hates them? he HATES them

but I don't think he really changes his emotions that much, he's sensitive but not so drastically

Definitely is an interesting person to love - would do crazy and weird shit for his lover

doesn't do normal dates. he's a magician, everything is a trick with him

probably gives riddles and doesn't wait for them to be solved - they just lead up to silly dates or gifts. The gifts are probably tame like a drink they like or like, flowers. Maybe some random fingers if he saw that a server was rude.

Does the bottle up his ass trick a lot. or says "do you like magic in bed?" and then never pulls his pants down he just shows every single magic trick he knows.

Listen. that man is WAITING for an audience he will take any chance he can. He'll even pull out some tricks while in the middle of doing it. Let him show you his magic tricks, he practices very hard on some of them.

ranking him as the type to be an exhibitionist and a bit of a freak - how much? idk but he has his coat so who knows what kind of stuff he has on him.

also don't get into a philosophical convo with him this guy will start to talk all sorts of crazy

or political

unless ofc there's common ground then CONGRATS

also I feel like he would be a gentleman. Would probably bring his lover flowers and shit.

once brought oranges though. never explained why.

sorry about the NSFW but I needed the giggles. I did in fact giggle

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x y/n #tecchou x reader #dazai x reader #dazai x you #nikolai x reader

[alexsfavgirl]

REAL IN THE FLESH

➪ pairing : oliver quick x reader, implied relationship with felix catton and reader

➪ sypnosis : you didn’t have a lot of time to talk with oliver, but now you do, and it’s terrifying

➪ other notes : currently can’t write for bsd, but saltburn is currently my new obsession

the summer sun beams on both of you as you lay down on the green grass. oliver was sitting up next to you, gazing at his surroundings. “we haven’t gotten to talk much have we oliver ?” you ask him, you turn your head towards him. “suppose not,” the quiet boy says. “do you like it here ? in saltburn, i mean,” you say, attempting to form conversation.

“it’s lovely, better than home,” he simply says. home. home to oliver seemed monstrous, well from what felix had told you before. “where’s your home ?” oliver asks you. you hum, taken aback from the question. “not far, we have a nice house but i’ve always passed summers here in saltburn, since felix and i started dating,” you respond sighing.

“do you like it ?” he asks. you look at oliver through your sunglasses. “of course i do,” you say, almost scoffing. who wouldn’t like living in a mansion even if it were for a couple of months. “how long have you and felix been together ?” oliver asks. “since sophomore year in high school, well on and off but you know” you respond, liking the flow of the conversation.

felix had mentioned to oliver that you and him and been on and off because of…well felix’s cheating, not that he explicitly told you. but felix couldn’t seem to let you go, after every break, he’d manage to crawl back into your bed, saying that he was forever “your guy” and that all the rumors of him with other girls aren’t true.

“well there’s a reason why he keeps coming back to you,” oliver sighs. you snap your head towards him, “and why is that ?” you say. “you’re fucking beautiful, who wouldn’t want you back,” he says, words rolling off his tongue. you try not to be flustered, you really do. yet a smirk crawls onto your face. “felix would kill you~” you say in a singsong voice.

“you’re different from everyone else here,” oliver suddenly says. “am i ?” you ask, almost confused. “like you’re…you’re authentic,” he says and your breath hitches. “like you’re actually real in the flesh, why is that ?” oli continues. “my father wasn’t there and my mom barely made it through with her job,” you confess, and you realize it’s terrifying.

it’s terrifying that a man you barely knew, now had a glimpse of what your childhood was like. why did you tell him ? why did you tell him ? was it because oliver is kind, too kind for his own good ? you don’t know but suddenly your oversharing has made you uncomfortable.

“i um have to go, uh find felix, wanted to talk to him about something,” you clear your throat as you get up. “you know, he’s cheating on you, he constantly is,” oliver says as you start walking away. “i’m well aware,” you quietly say. and that’s when oliver realizes that you aren’t as stupid as he thought you initially were.

“be seeing you…ollie,” you say, walking towards the mansion that oliver one day would claim as his. a smile falls on his face, one that he had been holding in for a while. maybe you weren’t so useless after all, maybe one day he could fit into felix’s shoes. maybe you just gave him a reason to keep you along for the ride.

#written by terra #sincerely terra #saltburn #saltburn imagines #oliver quick x reader #oliver quick #felix catton x reader #felix catton #writer’s block is killing me

[appleblueberry-pie]

I saw your post asking for yan Miguel asks:

I’ve been praying for someone to write about Miguel with a giant reader.

I dont even know if I want us to be a whole drider or just a Giant Woman™️ (lady Dimistrescu, my beloved). Or maybe both and we can final form an even bigger spider!

Sorry, I’m just excited to have a place to ask and I’ve had this in my head for so long 😅

It’s just been clinking around that in some spiders the females are much bigger and the males would have to like feed and appease her to try and mate without getting eaten.

And I am an absolute SUCKER for mating rituals!

I hope this catches your interest, thank you for reading 😊

Ooooooooooooooh my god? Yes? Why haven't I thought of this before??

DINNER IS THE DESSERT.

cw: mentions and threats of committing cannibalism. predatory tendencies. animalistic tendencies. sadistic and masochistic tendencies. public humiliation? scent kink. male sub + dom female.

Miguel is scared of you.

You....you aren't giving clear signals. He doesn't know what you want from him. All he wants is to please you, make you happy. He wants you to notice him and fucking love him. He wants to be yours. Not your dinner.

He used to be the tallest in the company. 6'10, 300 lbs. Ever since Jess softly introduced you and scattered off like a mouse, you have been the biggest. 7 feet fucking tall and one extra inch for decoration. 270 lbs and hungry for a mate. He can tell. Your scent wafts up his nose when he's in a 20 foot radius. And when he brings you a gift he think you'll love, he knows you don't like it when you stare down at him, almost disappointed in him, and lets the silence grow as everyone stares at the two of you. He awkwardly leaves when you don't say anything.

No one else will dare talk to you if they're interested because they know that they don't fit your standards. You're too fucking scary. No one. NO one can match your strength or even catch your interest besides him. And it's beautiful, because he's been obsessed with you and everything about you since he first met you. To be your bitch for the rest of his life is a dream come true. And to do that, he has to up his game. Attempting to intimidate you will get him killed. Simply offering himself to you will also get him killed. Actually, used, shown to everyone, and then killed.

And the only thing that has been working so far, has been giving you gifts. That's the only time he has a chance when it comes to communication and even winning a simple glance for your attention.

When you first introduced yourself to him, the both of you were alone. Peter and Jessica hated your energy, and Miguel was the only one that could possibly fight you off if you attacked them.

"Everyone thinks I might kill them if I get too close."

You were too close. He couldn't turn around. You were directly behind him, staring over his shoulder at his work. Not a single muscle in his body moved, his fingers stilled, his breath paused. Your body heat radiated off of your suit, doing nothing to filter the strong scent of your lust and hunger. Miguel felt your breath hit his neck and felt an urge to cry. He felt pathetic. His ears felt clogged as they began ringing, his heart beating out of his chest.

He heard you laugh silently. "You're scared." You took a single step forward, and your front connected with his back. Miguel was becoming overwhelmed with his emotions. Within the five minutes he had known you, he found out he was so utterly attracted to you, wanted to be your mate, and was so fucking terrified of you all at once. Your scent punched its way up to his brain and made him close his eyes with how pungent it was.

"Don't be scared." His heart dropped as he heard himself breathing again, at quite a rapid pace. "Let it happen." He flinched when your cold fingers, and then your hands, touched around his small waist. You exhaled and stared holes into the side of his face. He still couldn't move.

"You smell so good." His heart leaped at the praise and he found the courage to blink again. But then your lips brushed against his neck and he violently flinched, yelping in fear. You were going to eat him. Your hands tightened painfully around his body when he was about to thrash and he began hyperventilating in fear.

"What did I just say??" Your hot breath hit his ears and your words shattered his mind. Without thinking, he responded. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." You roll your eyes and step away from him, giving him the space he needed. Immediately, he gulped in as much air as he could. His shoulders relaxed slightly and he finally turned around to face you.

You looked as beautiful as he thought. If not, more. Your broad shoulders, muscular legs, sharp eyes and face. You looked down at his raging hard cock and frowned. "So fucking pathetic." You step closer and firmly grab his chin, his eyes turning the other way to not make eye contact out of fear. "It makes me want to taste you." Your words cause an accidental whimper to slip from his lips.

If Miguel knew that taking that serum was going to do this to him, he would've never became spiderman. He felt like he was going to urinate everywhere, climax in front of you, sweat up a storm, and scream for help all at once. He wanted to crawl underneath your skin and be one with you, but wanted to be far away from you at the same time. He felt a violent pull and push when around you and he felt it deep inside of him. Something inside of him screamed that this was his mate, and he was yours to please, and to do anything for your approval. You bring him light. He never was so conscious about his precious body until you came and threatened to kill him in his work space like you owned him. And maybe you already did. Because he's never felt his heart beat like this, he's never felt so alive. He wants you. He wants you.

You bring your eyes down to those lips. His fangs began to protrude and poke at his bottom lip as a natural reaction to a predator. Anything to stay safe and close to away from you. "I wanna have my fun with you, first." Miguel physically can't respond. He lets the silence build, his tongue heavy and numb. But then you let go and walk off like nothing happened. You haven't spoken ever since. And he's been trying to win your love ever since.

Miguel doesn't remember the last time he's had a real conversation with the rest of the spider community. Because all he's been doing is growling at people like a dog when it's not you. Lyla had to set up an entire other email account for people that want to reach out to Miguel and had Jess answer under the account name whenever she could. If you're not out scaring the spiders just from being there, Miguel is out there purposefully scaring people out of their socks. He wants NO attention on you besides his own, and he makes sure of it. Fuck monitoring the missions, fuck eating, fuck sleeping, and fuck the multiverse(for now), you need tending to.

All of his technology as of right now goes into finding out what you love most and what not to give you. He knows you like homecooked meals, he knows what types of clothes you enjoy wearing besides the typical spider suit, and he knows you love baked goods. He watches your everyday life in your universe and has a visceral reaction when he sees you entertaining men and women that come flocking towards you. You know that he wants you. You know that he loves you and would do anything to win you over. So then why on Earth are you talking to them??

As an attempt to forget about your "playful" disloyalty, Miguel has been making you home-cooked meals every day for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you wanted food anywhere else besides his universe, he'll let you choose the location. If you didn't want food, he'd ask if you wanted anything else. Massage? A hot or cold drink? Tired? Take a break, please. He can bring you to one of the resting rooms meant for healing Spider people who are injured, you get a pass. Don't like how long your mission is taking? He'll do the rest for you. All of his attention is yours. But recently, you haven't been reciprocating his advancements.

"Y/n...?" His heart skips a beat when he realizes you're staring at him like that again. You two were once again all alone in his office and you had him cornered. He looks off to the side to the multiple bags of things he was choosing to give to you that you'd enjoy. You had kicked them off of the platform. Clearly you wanted something else, he just couldn't figure out what. He didn't want to die.

"I'm getting bored."

You advance towards him and he stutters out, "What...? Dios mío, por favor, no me hagas daño. You know I-" "Shut up. Just...shut the fuck up." You sigh and rub your face. He stays still and lets you collect yourself. You wished that the smell of fear coming off of him didn't excite you as much as it did. "Why are you so stupid?"(My god, please don't hurt me.)

Miguel purses his lips. That's usually his line. But it's not like he isn't being stupid. He's like a child, blindly bringing their parent random things in hopes of gaining their approval. "Show me." Miguel blinks and looks up at you, confused. He opens his mouth to speak, but immediately shuts it to consider the possibilities. Do you mean himself? Show himself to you? He closes his eyes and inhales.....your scent. It smells so sweet now. You're trying to calm him. The corners of your lips slowly twist up and he understands.

You make him stand where you were, and you lean back on his work desk where he stood, crossing your arms. "Well?" He doesn't let another word slip out of your mouth and disengages his suit. He watches your eyes glint red and pulls down his (now) tight boxers that covered what you're probably wanting to see most. "No." His hands shoot to his sides and you stand to walk over to him. You stare him up and down, slowly circling him to get a full view.

"Think you can take me?" He nods at your question. "Speak." "Yes, I can take you." You place one hand on his lower back and press the softest kiss onto the crevice of his neck. It tingles with the feeling of your plush lips finally hitting his skin. "I don't know......I've heard about the small human women you've given yourself away to." No one compares to how you make him felt. He was offended that you thought his infatuation with you equated to random women he had with flings with to satiate his desire. He wanted to prove himself. Your nails suddenly feel so close to penetrating his skin, the more you touch him. He hears a churring noise come from your throat. And he tries to stop it in time, but he couldn't help reciprocating the same sound, now erupting out of his throat as well. You smile and bring yourself to stand in front of him again. "Is that what I am to you? A little human girl for you to share your seed with?"

Miguel shakes his head and opens his mouth, yet you interrupt him once more. "Then show me." Miguel's brain goes blank and his body feels light as he allows you to keep him safe to show you what his devotion means. He doesn't know if he'll live to see tomorrow or die blissfully to be your meal for the next few days. All he knows and wants and shall have are the next few hours to be yours completely. Body, mind, and soul in the ways he truly desired.

#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #reader #yandere character #across the spiderverse #atsv #yandere spiderman #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere miguel o'hara x reader #yandere spiderverse #yandere miguel x reader #yandere miguel fanfic #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara angst #miguel ohara smut #miguel ohara #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse

[writingjourney]

Poison Garden??

That has piqued my curiosity.

If you should get time.

Of course!! ♡ I think I talked about it before but this will be a dark-ish Primo fic with themes of loneliness, obsession and co-dependence.

I am not sure yet if I will turn this into an OC story set in my larger world or a separate story with a reader but the idea is basically that a young woman stumbles upon a garden one day by the woods of the town she just moved to. Unaware, she enters, discovering all the beautiful plants in this whimsical place. Only upon touching one of the flowers she poisons herself and faints, almost dying. Primo finds her just in time to give her an antidote, wondering why she so carelessly entered the poison garden by his cottage that he moved into after retirement. He becomes obsessed with nursing her back to health, falling for her in the process, and terrified as he is of her leaving again he... takes matters into his own hands that she cannot.

(What he doesn't know is that the girl, taking care of this old man just as much as he is taking care of her, also starts to fall for him, cue weird obsessive co-dependent relationship.)

It will be told in a series of diary entries that give us a glimpse into his thoughts and some scenes from the girls (your) POV and idk what else yet. Most likely this will be a multi-chapter fic I pre-write, I already started collecting scenes and will see how I manage to structure it to make it work :D

#asks #tag game #wip game

[thefringespod]

We're gonna do something a little different this #AudioDramaSunday! This week was one where music was my go-to rather than podcasts so instead of episode reviews, I'm gonna do a track-by-track breakdown of all of the music released so far for The Grotto as I had it on repeat

Starting off with Hush which is the first song on the album and also the show's theme. It's got a brilliant beat to it accompanied by these bursts of vocals that crescendo into a harshness that's excellent. The HUSH gives me chill every time. I'm fully obsessed with this song

The next track is the first instrumental. Dejected feels like the music you would find in a cave. It's creeping and wet and a little haunting before the softness of the piano and the beat hit. This song has a heartbeat to it that feels tangible in the best way

Buried Alive has some of my favorite lyrics Athan has written. There's just something about the way he sings "Maybe I would be happier buried alive" that chills me to the core. Also something you'll notice is Athan likes vocal modulation a lot and it always works so well

Matt's (Usually) Confused is very aptly titled. It starts soft and slowly builds to become more all encompassing, feeling like Matt's racing thoughts as it does so

I Will Follow You Into the Dark fucks me up (positive) "Love of mine, you will die, and I'll be close behind" like Athan how am I meant to recover from that? This song as a depth to it that can be felt, like it's carving its way into a deep cave and submerging itself in the dark

I absolutely adore Emily's Theme! There's something about it that brings the word "fleeting" to mind, like Emily is running through the music and making her way out through the song itself

Which leads us to Stumble Into You and holy fuck yall Lyssa Jay has a lovely voice. Yes I'm biased because I love Lyssa but I'm also RIGHT! This song makes me a little feral, especially where Lyssa and Athan meet in the song its beautifully done

We're at the first cover on the album! This is literally the only version of Ghost of You I will listen to, Athan brings a life to this song that punches to the lyrics way more effectively than the original version does

It's Cryptic in the Grotto is another very well named song because it sure can be cryptic in this godsdamned Grotto. The whispering of it all leaves me unsettled in the best way before opening into this plucky instrumental I'm obsessed with

Looking for Answers is so Orpheus and Eurydice coded that it drives me insane. "I still feel you behind me. Your breath is slow. I'm terrified I'll end up alone." Athan you can't do this to me. There's also a lovely fast bit in this with lyrics ricocheting through the verse

Athan's cover of Hurt might actually be my favorite version of this song I'm sorry except I'm not. It suits Athan's range so well and has this almost gravely texture to it that makes me feel like I'm going feral. Everything about it is deep and dark and wonderful

Coping is NOT aptly named. You know what Matt ISNT doing? Coping. He's not coping AT ALL. It's a beautiful song and it also has some of my favorite Athan lyrics but it's from an episode called Coping and let me tell yall Matt is not making good choices in this show

If You Could See Me Now breaks my heart in the best way. The idea of trying to make someone proud while knowing that you're disappointing yourself so you're not making them proud kills me. The instrumental/electronic portions of this song are incredible

Hush (Acoustic) is wonderful and light and I cannot hear it without thinking of the episode 4 credits which make me want to shake Athan (affectionate)

There is a cover of Chasing Cars (one of my favorite songs of all time) performed by the Fringes' very own @taytayheyhey (one of my favorite people) and it became my most played song of the year *so fast* Its a wonderful and almost haunting cover of one of the songs of all time

Last song! Waiting Room also breaks my heart open in my chest because Athan did lyrics too good. "If you were a waiting room, I'd never see a doctor I'd just sit there with my first aid kit and bleed" circles through my brain at all times and I'll never forgive Athan for it

Everyone should listen to The Grotto because it kicks ass And you can check out the whole album on bandcamp https://thegrottopod.bandcamp.com/album/the-grotto-season-1-part-1. Athan said it should be on Spotify soon as well

In terms of shows I actually listened to this week, I listened to the new eps of @tellnotalespod , @woebegonepod , and @camlannpod which were all incredible as always

Here on the Fringes you can access episode 21 right now by visiting patreon.com/PineTreePods! This episode is very dear to my heart and I can't wait to share it with y'all

Thats all for this week! Please check out The Grotto if you haven't already (and not just because my friends are there it really does kick ass) Should be back in the swing of podcasts this week so expect a regular ADS post next week :)

#audiodrama sunday #audio drama sunday #the grotto #thegrottopod #pines notes #recommendation post

[justsomeectoplasm]

I am.

so obsessed with Vampire hunter D bloodlust vampire architecture.

There's something so distinctly outerwordly yet elegant with Vampire hunter D's vampire architecture and it's such a wonderful way of seamlessly merging two strikingly different genres and making the differences so apparent yet also harmonizing itself in the best way. It's terrifying but beautiful.

Idk how else to express my feelings over the architect.

Like I will get lost in these halls in a bad way. The details are mesmerizing. There is something evil lurking around the corners and I don't feel safe. There is a sense of love for art in the statues. There is no logical way the castle can exist and it's existence is almost eldritch. The moonlight looks beautiful in the gardens. I feel like someone is following me. The chandeliers looks beautiful. I stepped into a world that I don't belong.

#vampire hunter d #Watched the movie again and fell in love with the world #It's a shit place to live but it's also quite bittersweet that things are actually looking up for humans at the end.

[outofangband]

(Reposting this mini post because I inevitably had more to say also I’m still sick so like, apologies if this is even more rambling than usual)

Previous post on this

“Morwen (Brodda) had seen once when he rode to her house on a foray; but a great dread of her had seized him. He thought that he had looked into the fell eyes of (an elf) and was filled with a great fear lest some evil should overtake him. And he did not ransack her house nor discover Túrin else the life of the true heir would have been short.”

Just a fun linguistics note! Fell in this instance is an archaic word, meaning, fierce, cruel or terrible, and actually is where the word felon comes from

I know I already rambled about this forever here and in a number of posts in my word ran among them tag but I just literally cannot ever stop thinking about the language used in this scene

I will never not be obsessed with this passage. It’s such a visceral description of fear and it is entirely distorted. It’s such a jarring jump to the perspective of a minor villain figure, something that we don’t usually see in Tolkien, not like this

The language!! It’s so strong!

“A great dread of her had seized him”

“Filled with a mortal fear, Lest some evil overtake him”

Morwen looks at him and he is afraid for what? His life? His soul? He thinks Morwen, or what she can do*, is evil! It’s hard to explain but the use of the word here feels similarly jarring to the use of the word horror being used about this same character in BoLT, albeit for opposite reasons

What does he fear in that moment?

And just in that line! Lest some evil overtake him! Brodda clearly believes that the evil is the other! Not himself, despite his literally working for Morgoth! It’s just a really interesting line with such a plethora of implications.

It shows very clearly what he considers evil or at least what he doesn’t. It’s not what he’s doing to Aerin, it’s not what’s happening to the other Hadorians, it’s not the murder of a nine year old that the passage says would have happened if he had entered the house.

The evil, to him, is Morwen.

Another thing  I think is interesting because when humans in Tolkien are compared to the elves it’s typically an honor! It’s because they’re seen as particularly beautiful or elegant or observant/sharp, etc but here it’s like…dehumanizing? Othering? It’s beyond a negative thing, it’s a call to violence that Morwen avoids then only because Brodda *is* so afraid of her. It’s not a fear there’s any safety in though. Quite the opposite.

I went into the legacy of this scene in the notes of my post on food control in post Nírnaeth Hithlum and am almost done with a longer post about this! But it’s so disturbing. Obviously what is most horrible about Brodda is what he does to Aerin - and she is often the most immediate victim of his hatred of Morwen, the most obvious example of this being how he beats her for her aid to Morwen (what I went into the implications of in the previously mentioned post). I do not want to ever mitigate this. But there are branches of misogyny overlap and there is something disturbing about his hatred of Morwen in itself as well.

Does this make sense? Again I have another post about this so I don’t want to go too much into this but I hope this makes sense.

*which of course she cannot actually do! I do love to make fun of Brodda endlessly for this scene but as I said in my main post about it, there’s absolutely nothing funny about it for Morwen. It’s terrifying and imbued with the threat of violence; not abstract or superstition based but real, tangible violence that Morwen, especially as a survivor of the Bragollach, has likely seen firsthand

Other note: I’ve always imagined that Morwen is standing in the threshold of her house and stepped out if not to confront him than to put herself between him and Túrin. I suppose it’s possible she was already outside or something, obviously there’s no way to know. But I personally have always imagined that she steps outside when she realized someone was approaching. I think the courage there is extremely profound especially as she had no way of knowing that Brodda would flee like that.

Final notes: someday I will post my writing of this scene from Brodda’s perspective because it’s one of my favorite pieces I’ve done lately.

#the silmarillion #the children of húrin #morwen #Aerin #musing and meta #word ran among them

[long-life-to-bsd]

PLS PLS PLS A PART 2 FOR THE NEW FYODR FF???? THE ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD??????? PLS???? NOT FORCING YOU OR ANTYHING IDK HOW AUTHORS WORK BUT THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!

I definitely wasn't planning a part 2 (even though I had the scenario in my mind already) , but sure, why not: I love Fyodor so much and I love writing about him too. Especially in stories like this.

I'm also really happy that you liked it🥺🥺😭😭, thank you so much💗💗

Anyways...

It's for your own good pt.2

Pairings: fyodor × female reader

Warnings: toxic and abusive relationships, manipulation, Fyodor and his God complex, drugs

The last few hours had been a living nightmare. You couldn't decide if we're more anxious about what you did to Fyodor, his health or the possibility that something went wrong. But for this last thing you were lucky enough to count on Nikolai.

"Oh no, oh no no no dear. Oh no. We cannot have Fyodor losing his little dove, can't we? I will absolutely do my best. You are my favourite form of entertainment, do you know?" He was thrilled about it. And even if you weren't sure about him, certainly he knew more than you about Fyodor's plan. Your boyfriend never considered you good enough to have an actual important part in his plans. And considering what you just did, maybe he was right. Why did it even occur to you that it was a brilliant idea?

But now, waiting for the drugs to end their effects is truly terrifying. Checking the hour, then keeping an eye on the monitors, making sure Fyodor was still alive... all with the fear of the consequences of your actions. And considering that Fyodor was supposed to be already awake, you started panicking about the amount of drugs you used.

You obsessively checked his pulse, almost forgetting about the fever that seemed to have gotten much better. He looked incredibly pretty while sleeping. So relaxed, so normal and yet, so magnificent. But if usually you would have lost yourself in his beauty, today it terrified you. His hand that you usually found so elegant looked to you like the weapons they are. His mouth that you loved to kiss looked ready to pronounce your death sentence. His hair that you loved to brush and braid looked stained with your bood.

"It's good to know that my little traitor is terrified by her actions." His raspy voice echoed in the empty room. In the moment you knew that your examination was starting: he was contemplating if it was worth something keepingyou alive. With a shaking hand you offered him a glass of water "for your throat" you said in an excessively sweet voice. You then drank a bit of it: because you felt like you were burning and to show him it was OK, you weren't drugging him again.

"My traitor is so sweet with me now. Offering something to drink to me, I'm honoured. And don't bother showing me that the water is safe, I know it is. I know you know how to use drugs safely, I taught you." He said with a smirk. Obviously you knew how to use them, he taught you. Except that he forgot to say how. He forgot to mentions the times you found yourself passed out.

"My little traitor lost her words? Don't yo want to say sorry?" He was still weak, his voice was showing that, but the resting had definitely helped him. At least your death wasn't completely useless.

"I'm sorry Fedya. I wasn't thinking, but you see... you have to understand" the desperation in your voice was like honey to him " I did for you, I did because I was worried and you never listen to me. Belive me, I am sorry, but I would do it again because your well being is all that matters to me. Sorry". You definitely looked desperate and you could tell by looking at the bliss on Fyodor's face. You felt tears running down your face: did you deserve this? The person that was supposed to love and protect you laughing at your desperation, deciding if he needed to kill you or not.

You gently took his hand and kneeled next to your bed, hiding your face in it, almost like you were praying. If you wanted a chance to survive you needed to humiliate yourself, you knew it. So when his other hand caressed your head you felt relieved. And sick. It was the moment. He was deciding. You saw thousands of men being in your position, praying for their God to save them. You don't remember someone walking away.

In the room your silent cries were the only sound. If felt like ages: he liked it, he craved your desperation. Deep down in his heart he wanted to save you. He cherished those moments with you, you tenderness with him, your support, you kisses. You were a devote companion. A loyal follower. A caring partner. But not anymore. You made him angry with your foolishness. But were you replaceable?

The only thing he knew was that you had to be punished. He wanted to hurt you, but maybe not by killing you. No. If he'd saved you, you were his forever. You would have to be grateful to him, to kiss his feet thanking him for his mercy. You would have leaved in fear and terror waiting for him to snap. An obedient sweet companion. Sure, he didn't except you to always stay silent, it was part of the fun, but seeing you desperate after, praying for his forgiveness? Could he actually renounce to all of this?

"You know dear" He said interrupting the loud silence "it didn't surprise me that someone dumb like you made such a mistake. But it was also my fault, I should have known better, controlled you more, teach you better... don't you agree that you can't do nothing without me?"

You fastly nodded, ready to say everything he wanted, to do anything he asked. He was so good. So loving with you. Forgiving someone dirty and impure like you...

"Punishing you for something I'm guilty too isn't right, don't you think? And is it even a betrayal if you did for your boyfriend to feel better? No. I wouldn't have forgiven you, but like this? No, I'm sure you really weren't thinking, little thing. You did it because you love me" He continued looking in your eyes, stroking your hair. He looked and sounded so sweet. You could forgive him anything when he was like that.

He then abruptly took a fist full of your hair and pulled you towards his face and whispered cruelly in your ear "But you better start behaving now. I don't give a second chance to no one. Do you understand, dumb bitch?"

His words left you speechless. You understood in that moment who was in front of you. Or better. You remembered who was in front of you. You felt yourself drowning in fear, slowly understanding what life was waiting for you.

And yet, you couldn't find Fyodor anything but handsome. You still cherished his touch. Like all the other times. His slaps hurted, but his hands on your face felt so sweet. You loved him ti the point it made you sick. But could it be different? Could a sane person love him?

You were still there, crying silently, kneeled next to him after he had left your hair go. His hand was still on your head though. I gently reminder of his powered over you. You looked so pretty in his eyes in that moment. Prettier then ever. His little pet was finally obeying him. He even felt sorry for his harsh word, but maybe it was the drug, still fogging his mind, softening him.

Was it his fault if you acted like that? You deserved what you got. You had to be grateful. Only in this way you could be purified from your actions. Only obeying him could make you pure again, maybe even more than before.

He was going to be good whith, he thought. He was going to teach you. He would be patient but strict. He would be merciful with his little dumb pet.

He gestured you to stand up. Immediately you did it: everything to make him happy. And in fact, he smiled. He smiled at seeing you shivering for the terror in front of him. He smiled at seeing you obeying.

"But before you, why don't you give me a kiss, dear? I'm sure it would make me fell much better. Do it for my own good. Do it for your own good."

#bsd #bsd headcanons #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor × reader #fyodor headcanons #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd × reader #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader

[rainingmbappe]

i have this book about chaos written by james gleick since the 10th grade and i've read it so many times. i've scribbled so many things inside, highlighted so many things in pink and yellow that if anyone else picked it up they would think that i am crazy. it's practically an extension of my being. i've carried it with me everywhere, from bus rides to morocco, i read it on the beach with me while my family was swimming (im allergic to sea water). before falling asleep i just think about the fact that the universe is constantly expanding, how we're all just specks of nothing hurtling through space. motionless on my bed but somehow i'm traveling thousands of millions of kilometres, heading to nowhere (probably). i cried a few times gazing at the moon, thinking how lucky neil armstrong was to set foot on it. i saw a moon rock in a museum in London, i couldn't hold back the tears as my mom pretended she didn't know me. i never understood why people weren't as fascinated with the universe. why the stars didn't raise dreams within them. the moon didn't make them wonder, how could they not be amazed by the very sun that warms their skin? it's all so perfect, all so precisely calculated, so meticulously orchestrated. i'm amazed by the way tiny creatures carry the most complex phenotype. how everything stays in place, how everything makes sense. there is some people that never wondered and never will. dull mind, not thinking once about the possibilities. the things we might discover while i'll be gone, it terrifies me because i might never know. when i go for a drive with my parents and i sit in the backseat, i close my eyes and bask in the warmth of the sun filtering through my eyelids. it's like being wrapped in a blanket of red shades, the warmth feels so comforting. it smells like the sun. i don't know if you've ever smelt it, it's just like when you wash a piece of clothe and you let it dry in the sun. it smells like warmth, it smells like love. i love you and i didn't forget about you <3

I woke up at 5 and rolled up my blinds letting in the sun. I made myself coffee and checked my phone briefly before I started studying when I opened tumblr. I had a bunch of notes and I quickly scrolled through them almost missing this. But then I started reading it.

I've missed this so much. I read it and I reread it all while tears were going down my face. And then I kept my phone down and cried some more. I understand you and you understand me in ways that I'll never be able to replicate.

I understand and feel every single word of this. You best believe my next read is gonna be that. "Its practically an extension of my being" I'm gonna cry again. The way you share my wonder and awe makes me feel so seen, my soul feels recognized and satisfied.

I was talking to my physics sir about how I cannot comprehend how the universe doesn't stir some people. Or the majority of people. They don't obsessively want to leave their whole life behind in pursuit of the endless expanses of knowledge. When I am in my roof for hours, looking up and my neck aches and begs me to look down for even a second, i feel like I'm floating like a feather, free and truly careless. Figuring out the beautiful constellations, crying over seeing the pattern so vividly on the beautiful moon, watching the sun dip beneath the horizon and visit you and the other for a few hours. Those moments are an extension of my being. I remember, a few months ago, it was freezing and I was lost in thought looking up and the moon had a different glow to it. It was almost gold, shining like the brightest jewel in our universe, and involuntary tears escaped me. I understand you. I know what you mean and it makes me weak to think that someone out there understands me too.

I often cry over my inability to do maths and having to leave the subject behind. I'll never be able to study what my heart lies in. But then immediately after, I'm reminded of the wonders that lie within. The wonders that I get to study. I agree with you. Why aren't people fascinated by all this? Why aren't they silently going mad with want and desire to explore, understand, learn? The way everything just makes sense. I feel like our feeble human mind isn't even capable of comprehending the wonders that the universe beholds but the want and desire to even try fills up my days.

When I look up at the morning sky, the first rays of the day beaming across my tiny sliver of the sky, that feels like love to me. When I bid my goodbye to the sun, watching it dip, that's love. When I see orion or castor and pollux, the twin stars, thats love.

You already know this but that's the Pale blue dot by Carl Sagan for me. I've never had my body tingle with excitement to have the privilege to read such a peice of work in my lifetime. I found him in an age so crucial, his shadow forms me in fundamental levels.

I see your fascination, your terror and your love for all of it like a mirror.

#I'm crying again #It's pathetic but I think of you so often. You saying you didn't forget me made me breathe for the first time in a long while. #I was learning to let go and get used to the fact that you probably forgot and that it was ok #But I'd be lying if I said that I im not overwhelmed with gladness rn #I love you too <3 #💖

[saibug1022]

For Magnus, Apollo, and that FINE AS FUCK lavender bg3 mc:

I am obsessed with the how others see them, vs how they see themselves, vs how you the all-knowing creator see them.

But also like, with symbolism (ex as a cloud/as a flower/as a type of water, etc) 👀👀👀

THIA I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOU. I'm about to talk so fucking much. So I loaded some classification things into a randomizer and used one for each character

let's do this

Magnus (Windverse/LoA) - Animal

If you asked other people what animal Magnus is, they'd say a panther, something intimidating and powerful, yet elegant and reserved.

But if you asked Magnus himself, well first he'd refuse to answer because he'd think the question is ridiculous, but then he'd say an owl because they're known as clever and tend to represent wisdom, which is the piece of himself he's put so much value in and relied on his whole life.

However, I've always associated Magnus with butterflies, specifically blue butterflies. Butterflies obviously represent change and rebirth which Magnus has done multiple times, breaking free from his old life for a new one and becoming someone new. But blue butterflies also represent joy and love, and the love of others (both platonic and romantic) and Magnus's own love are what showed him the joy in life and let him become one more version of himself: a happy one.

Apollo (The Elementalists) - Flower

If you asked most other people what kind of flower Apollo would be, they'd say a sunflower for pretty obvious reasons. Apollo is bright, kind, and passionate, and I mean. It's literally called a sunflower. It's very surface level but unfortunately most peoples' view of Apollo is very surface level.

If you asked Apollo what kind of flower he'd be, honestly he'd probably say a sunflower at first too, but if he thought about it for a second, he would say a hibiscus. Hibiscus flowers are bright and colorful and grow tall in warm climates. But they need sun to to bloom and even then only bloom for a day, closing again by night which is exactly how Apollo sees himself. Without his sun attunement, aka his power, he would be nothing. To go even further, when people look at him he's bright and beautiful but as soon as he's alone he's terrified and sad and stressed.

For my assessment, I'd say a lotus flower. I may be biased because it's my second favorite flower but Lotus's bloom up through muddy water and still come up beautiful which is exactly what Apollo did (symbolically at least). He was hunted by Raife from the moment he was born, had his memories erased and childhood stole, lost his parents, was lied to his entire life and was raised without magic and his twin, finally found somewhere he felt he belonged only to be hunted again, nearly lost his friend and almost died, then he was accosted by Kane and tortured, then (in my version of canon) ended up losing his mentor and hunted by his own people. But he came out of it beautiful and bright

Kieran (BG3 Durge) - Element

Most people when asked would definitely say Kieran is fire. Dangerous, unpredictable, (hot-) and passionate, maybe warm, but destructive.

If you ask Kieran themself, they may also say fire honestly, for the same reasons as every one else. But if you find them in a nicer mood they might say earth. Dark caves and sharp things but equally full of life and beauty. Something determined and strong.

But I would say water because more than anything Kieran is adaptable, no matter what situation they end up in, no matter who they're with who what they're facing, they always end up on top. More than that, Kieran just has this deep sadness within them that is best reflected in water. Water is also a symbol of transformation and healing which is a summary of Kieran's entire arc. Even better, it's what he evokes in so many of the people around him, not just themself.

#oc asks #asks #magnus bishop #apollo solaris #kieran (durge) #playchoices #choices #laws of attraction #into the windverse #the elementalists #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 durge

[slyth-princess]

This is part two of my live blog post of RWRB. Like before, I’ll put it below the cut to avoid spoilers but if you want to see my mildly incoherent screaming… well, this is the place lol!

As always, happy viewing :)

- Alex looks absolutely TERRIFIED for this convo

- Ellen also looks a bit terrified haha

- His little laugh when he says no

- She has to sit. Oh god.

- No powerpoint. That’s unfortunate. But at least they alluded to it.

- I am glad we got the “you need to figure out if you feel forever about him” convo. And he sounds so sad when he tells her he doesn’t know if they will ever get there.

- “When your child is Alex Claremont Diaz you get used to the exceptional.” WE LOVE AN ACCEPTING MOTHER

- “Please call me congressman” hahaha

- ONE LAST STOP ONE LAST STOP

-THE HAT OH GOD

- This scene is fucking everything.

- THE ZOOM ON ALEXS FACE OH MY FUCKING GOD HES SO IN LOVE

- I said it before but I’ll say it again. I love his relationship with his dad. (But I don’t love that his parents are still together)

- They are so cute. I’m so obsessed.

- Jesus. The water on their bodies. I’m looking respectfully. Lord.

- Instant Henry panic. Alex. Baby. Read the room. Poor Henry oh god.

- THE ROPE LINE AHHHHHH

- Almost love confession. Throws self into lake. Fucking hell.

- Him leaving. Even though the scene is sadder in the book I’m still fucking broken.

- Aww bby David

- If by “ended things” you mean you fucking ran. Dear lord.

- I’m living for this scene with Bea. Seeing more of this side of the story is lovely. It gives it more depth.

- This song is EVERYTHING

- It’s fascinating to see the aftermath from Henry’s side as opposed to Alex’s. I love that.

- Nervous Alex is everything. And I love him and Nora.

- I WANTED YELLING NOOOOOOO

- I know it wouldn’t have been realistic my possible but still. I was robbed.

- THE MAN I LOVE OH MY GOD

- “This is costing me everything”

- “I will not trade one prison for another”

- Somehow I love this scene just as much as the book version even though it’s so different

- “Don’t make me” oh GOD

- THE MUSEUM THE MUSEUM THE MUSEUM

- Now I know they they looked so heavy in this scene. I have been wondering that for ages.

- His smile at Alex putting the song on so they can dance. And the way Alex smiles at him. Oh my god. And how they hold each other. They look so damn happy.

- FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY LIFE THAT WAS BETTER THAN IT BEING IN AN EMAIL

- He’s so nervous giving him the ring. I’m dead. And the fucking key. I love them so much.

- “I’ll be as patient as you need”

- That moment just before everything goes to absolute shit lol

- Whoa. Well. I didn’t see that coming. That happened very different. And actually I’m very glad I’m seeing it though Henry’s lens

- USING THE FUCKING POLO MATCH PICTURE

- Fucking Miguel. I fuck hate that asshole.

- CALL HIS ASS OUT

- Alex’s speech is beautiful

- “The forced conformity of the closet cannot be answered with forced conformity of coming out of it.” 👏👏👏

- ALL THESE LITTLE FUCKING SCENES OF GOD

- My lord Zahra is everything

- Alex just went through so many emotions

- “Touch me and die”

- I JUST MADE INHUMAN SOUNDS

- BABY

- IM COMING TO LONDON TONIGHT

- HURRY PLEASE

- ILL BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER FOR YOU

- Lord, it should be illegal for someone to look that good in a t-shirt

- Then playing piano together is absolutely fucking everything

- “We really need to get you a book on English history”

- Henry baby I just want to protect you in a rainbow bubble forever

- “The king wishes to see you. Both of you.”

- He reached for his ring and Alex is wearing it. Oh GOD.

- Oh fuck RIGHT off Phillip

- How is Bea that fucking beautiful

- STEPHEN FUCKING FRY

- I love that Alex refers to him immediately and Henry doesn’t even bother to try not to accept it

- “I don’t want your protection, I want your support”

- FUCK OFF PHILLIP EVEN THE KING DOESN’T LIKE YOU

- GRABBING HIS HAND OH GOD

- Alex looks so fucking gobsmacked happy

- The kings face is sooooo good

- I want to punch Phillip in the face

- Ok, I’m actually loving the fact that the king isn’t saying it’s not real and he doesn’t believe it but that they shouldn’t do it because of “country”

- BEA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

- There it is. There’s the tears. I knew they would come. This is everything.

- I actually kind of love the way they changed the king tbh

- I am sad we didn’t get some of the things that happened when they realized they were accepted

- Ok. Look. It’s obviously not a factual account. But that’s… just… not how election night would look.

- CASEY

- I’m so glad Henry is here with him for this

- Lol Alex saying it right as I type it

- IM SOBBING THIS IS EVERYTHING

- The bikes. The house. GOD!

- These end credit scenes of them are so funny. Just the way they showed them. I love it.

- The little pinky touch oh god

- DO YOU THINK ANYONE NOTICED

God. God. That was everything. I will have a follow up with coherent thoughts soon but lord. I’m so full of emotions.

It wasn’t perfect like we knew it never could be. But it was still everything.

#red white & royal blue #red white and royal blue #rwrb spoilers #RWRB #firstprince

[mgenvs3000w24]

Unit 01 Blog Post

Hello and welcome to my blog!

The prompt given to us for this unit 01 activity was to describe our relationship with nature and how it has evolved over time, something which I feel as if I should be able to do quite easily since I have always had a deep interest in the natural world. Ever since I can remember I was obsessed with animals, everything about me revolved around my love of animals, leopard print pants, a varied collection of stuffed animals, safari and jungle themed playsets etc. I'm not sure what initially drew me into this interest and it almost seems as if it was something that was always just part of me. The very first animal I remember being captivated by was the scarlet macaw, I believe I had initially seen one as an image in an animal-based memory game, something which I recall specifically because I remember the card got lost and it was very upsetting to me at the time.

Fast forward to the future, in ninth grade I began volunteering at a parrot rescue on the weekends, a place around 15 minutes away from my house that took care of both surrendered and boarded parrots. It's quite funny to me looking back on it now, because there was definitely a disconnect between the ideas I had of parrots in my head, and how they were in reality. As many people know, parrots are loud!! But I think few realize how loud they truly can be when you're in a room with 8 screaming cockatoos. My encounters with the macaws were also a bit of a harsh awakening because as beautiful as they are, they are terrifying up close. Since the majority of the birds there were surrendered, often from poor conditions, many have behavioral issues, especially the larger ones which are much more temperamental; this resulted in many of the large birds lunging at volunteers through their cages and running at them and biting them when they were out of their cages (myself included :') lol).

It was from these experiences I realized maybe I wasn't a macaw person after all, because even after years of volunteering there (I still volunteer there when I'm home for holidays/summer), I am too afraid to go into the rooms where the macaws are out on my own. If you had seen one biting and crushing a broomstick with their giant beak before chasing after you, I'm sure you would feel the same. But as I said, I continue to volunteer there when I can, and have lots of fun spending time with the non-macaw birds. Despite how messy and loud the birds are, it's always worth it when you get to take one out of its cage and it climbs onto your shoulder.

I'm lucky that my family has always supported me in my animal endeavors, encouraging my interests as a child, letting me ramble to them about all of my crazy bird stories, and allowing me to pursue my BSc in Zoology, of which I am in my final semester of. I am doubtful that my passion for nature and all the animals within it would have flourished in this way if it weren't for the continued support of my family members, and for this I am very thankful to them.

Enjoy some bird pics!

[showmethesneer]

Okay this movie was lovely. These boys did a great job. It was incredibly cute.

But..

The book was so horny. So full of chaotic energy. So full of longing and palpable fear. So vulnerable. So painstakingly thoughtful about providing context for the hidden queer histories of both these countries. The love letters from Alexander Hamilton and King James and Eleanor Roosevelt and Virginia Woolf. The emails about sucking cock. The sneaking around. The endless body worship and how Alex could only ever shut the fuck up when Henry's mouth was on him. And, in turn, the susprising string of profanities that would always escape Henry's mouth when the roles were reversed. The Star Wars conversations that reflected their actual philosophies on life.

And Rafael Luna?!?!

It's so insane to think they made a film adaptation of this book without a scene of Alex throwing a tantrum about the Thanksgiving turkeys leading to a smash cut of him being absolutely terrified of them in his room, immediately confronted with the consequences of being so loud and impassioned in the moment. Insane that there was no impromptu selfie in the kitchen to convince the public they were really friends, and no moment where Henry saw Alex wearing glasses. Insane to think that the moment he sees Henry playing polo was a montage of fast cuts between the match and them fooling around in the stables, without including a lingering close up of Alex being utterly undone watching him on the horse. Insane that Henry's obsession with queer British culture being swept under the rug is basically relegated to his dog being named after David Bowie and him singing Don't Stop Me Now at the karaoke bar. Insane that we didn't actually see Alex frantically storming the castle in the rain and screaming outside Henry's window. Insane that their emails were super tame and nothing like the depraved and gut-wrenching vulnerability they shared in the book-- no fairytale about the boy born with his heart outside his body, no shameless, filthy teasing during meetings, no epitaph "He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock." Not even the reason why this leak was called The Waterloo Letters in the first place.

Insane that they didn't come together to talk about how to handle the leak first when Alex held that coming out press conference, and that Henry wasn't standing by his side in that scene.

This whole adaptation is insane. And feels almost like they didn't trust these fantastic beautiful actors to be so raw with their performances. Or maybe like they didn't trust the audience with a truly R-rating worthy sex comedy about 2 men who are hilariously horny for one other, frustratingly in love with one another, and cosmically made for one another.

And then just on a personal note, i am deeply saddened that we never got the Hoe Dameron thing. But that's just me.. and a waste of casting Taylor Zakhar Perez in my opinion.

#red white and royal blue #long rant #film adaptation #queer cinema #queer lit

[paperstorm]

Violence indeed this morning!! But now it's making me curious and I have a potentially difficult question. You've done a little of fantastic metas on various Tarlos scenes, but what are your top 3 scenes and if course why?

I did four because I couldn't narrow it down to three lol (god I hope people have blocked my character meta tag because a bitch really doesn't know how to be quiet)

the proposal, because obviously. TK's nasally, thick little voice, like he's been sitting there crying a little while he worked up the nerve to ask. Maybe remembering how badly it went the last time he asked someone to marry him, maybe grieving just a little bit for that version of himself who believed in fairy tales and then had his heart hardened, and being so happy that he met someone who made him believe again. the way he wakes Carlos up by petting his hair. His little GIGGLE when he says "there's no lizard" why is TK Strand the cutest boy on the entire planet of earth. The way Carlos has a little 404 error for a moment when TK says marry me. The hand holding. TK's beautiful speech. The tears on Carlos's face. TYLER. the way they fold into each other as they lay back down. Idk it's just perfect. It's the most perfect proposal scene of all time.

The scene on the tarmac after the almost plane crash. That hug. That fucking hug, the way Carlos just crashes into him. He's so terrified, he almost lost TK yet again and he was going to have to stand there and watch it happen, watch the plane go down. I can't imagine the trauma of that. His "I'm the one who put him on the plane", Carlos just lives to blame himself for things that aren't his fault. He really doesn't think he's worth much if he can't keep TK safe and it breaks my heart. TK assuring him that he's okay. Also if you listen closely, they are whispering "I love you" back and forth as they hug the second time. It's FAINT, you have to turn it way up and really listen, but it's there. They breathe "I love you" about three times to each other, and I am just so undone but this little detail because Ronen and Rafa definitely just added that themselves, you can barely hear it so it wasn't even for the camera it was just for them, just what they were feeling as their characters in that moment. I love the details they put into these scenes.

The scene after the fire. The way Tk sighs and looks away when Carlos says he's fine, and that that's the thing that breaks him. Stoic Carlos with all his locked up pain really doesn't even realize that he's hurting until he sees how refusing to admit it upsets the man he loves, and then he just crumbles. TK instantly pulling him in. Kissing his face, rubbing his back, assuring him that they're okay. Because they're not okay, of course they aren't, but his man is hurting so much and all TK can do is hold him. And Carlos letting himself be held is everything to me. Also everything to me? At the end when it's panning out and Judd gives TK a little cuddle. We know how I feel about Judd. We don't need to open that can of worms. But I live for that moment.

The scene where Carlos calls Cooper. This might actually be my most rewatched scene. I can't get enough of it, I just love it so much. "I'm not saying I did a background check, but I did a background check" yes we love a protective boyfriend abusing his power just a little bit for the purposes of keeping his boy safe. The softness of TK's whispered "Thank you. I love you." Carlos responding "I know" which is so much better in that moment than "I love you too" because it's not possessive and it's not about him. Carlos is saying "I trust you. I believe you when you say you love me. I was insecure about our relationship but I'm not anymore." The growth of their partnership in that episode that all culminates in that beautiful scene. The sound that cheek kiss makes. Idk I'm obsessed with it. That little smooch. It's the cutest cheek kiss of all time. Carlos's SMILE as he closes the door. He's so proud of himself. He was so hurt, earlier in the episode, to learn that he wasn't enough to take care of TK, because he wasn't understanding. And he gets it now. TK was brave enough to tell Carlos what he needed instead of getting mad and running away, and Carlos learns to give TK what he needs even if that thing isn't Carlos, and he's so proud of himself at the end for learning it and I just love him.

#anon asks #911 lone star #andie’s annoying character metas

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

DID I JUST CRIED A LITTLE AFTER I FINISHED THE NEWEST CHAPTER? YES MA'AM I SURE FUCKING DID. 

RHAENAR AND AELYS ARE HERE 🎉🤧

I literally feel like I'm going to burst out of my skin out of excitement because what a ride this instalment has been! And for it to (almost) culminate in this amazingly written chapter... I can't, I just CAN'T.  

I wasn't expecting it to be from Daemon's POV though it was great to read this experience in particular being delivered in his perception. 

Him being so afraid of what could go wrong but not even allowing himself to think about it. Him feeling uncomfortable and useless at the fact that he's not able to help her through the pain.

Him just seeing the absolute carnage that is bringing a child to the world and being a bit repulsed/weirded out by it (and sort of fascinated I guess). Just. ✨A-MA-ZING✨

Oh! and the absolute hate and rage that flew through Daemon every time Gerardys insisted to just cut her open! Like that bitch wasn't even hoping for the chance that things could turn around. It remind me so much of doctors that just want to be over with the whole thing like, "Hey I got an appointment to play polo later so let's just butcher the lady and be done with it" ugh. *rolls her eyes at men in obstetrics*

ALSO All of that support and praise! 

“Yes, you can,” he asserts, firm, forehead pressing to yours. He cups your jaw with his hands, tugging your line of sight up, waiting for you to meet his eyes. “You’re nearly there, my girl,” he tells you, and your molten stare shifts from fearful mistrust to reluctant resolve, bolstered by his encouragement. “You can do this.”

UGH MY HEART

OH AND THIS PART?

You smile, and it is like staring into the face of the Mother herself. If there was anyone, anything, who might persuade him that such a being existed, it is you, here and now. 

My man right there having a religious experience in the middle of his daughter's birth. 

AND THIS, THIS IS WHERE I LOST IT.

“Perzys iksā.” You are fire. Daemon can see his reflection in your lilac eyes, ardent, fanatical. “Jaqiarzir iksā.” You are glory.  

LOVED IT SO MUCH. THAT MADE ME CRYY

Rhaenar and Aelys, firstborn heirs of Daemon of House Targaryen.  

“Rhaenar and Aelys.” He tries out their names himself, speaking them into existence, carving them into the pages of history as the Rogue Prince’s greatest of triumphs.

Fuck yes, all hail the new babes of House Targaryen. (Also let me just point out how obsessed I am with the boy's name. Rhaenar, Rhaenar, RHAENAR. Freaking beautiful.)

I immensely respect and appreciate the amount of research you put into this chapter, Em. The dedication and devotion you put into this story it's remarkable. I've seen it very few times in my years reading fan fiction and I looove and admire you for it. 

-V

Sorry in advance if that was unreadable, I'm beyond invested in this story and I just got a bit carried away with my ranting. I need to go outside and touch some grass for real. lol

Hey, V! How are you? I'm so glad you enjoyed the latest chapter!

I've got to admit, this fic was originally only going to be like 5 chapters and NONE of the plot stuff was really gonna happen. Then it spiralled and I had the Rhaenyra fight idea, and THEN I was like "ew, Daemon's being gross and soft, I need violence to wash the yucky taste of domesticity from my mouth", lol. Thus, the assassination thing (and the moon tea thing was something I was on the fence about but decided might as well go full-tilt, haha). This chapter has been stressing me out for MONTHS - I've been terrified to actually go through with the 'big birth' scene, and I'm so glad it's finally done and dusted!

I always knew going in that it'd be from Daemon's POV, seeing how I've never personally experienced giving birth and didn't feel super confident attempting to express how it feels to do so. But from the outside? Well, after seeing some scarring childbirth videos, I felt like I could at least try to capture some of the panic/ powerlessness a guy who craves control like Daemon does might feel in that situation. I'm so glad that carried through in the writing! Not gonna lie, some of it was my own feelings after traumatizing myself, lol.

Gerardys is a damn moron, BUT he's a guy who's been taught a very specific set of beliefs through his training at the Citadel, and when faced with it he defaults to those teachings. I don't hate the guy, but this was definitely a growth moment for him when Ūlla shows him that the Citadel is wrong. Unlike the doo-doo-head that is Mellos, I like to think that he's willing to shake up his view of what is 'the right thing' for the sake of those he cares for.

I'm so happy you like Rhaenar! I've had it picked out since this story first STARTED! I always knew their first boy would be Rhaenar Targaryen (pronounced 'RHIE-nar'). For the girl, I toyed between 'Aelys' ('AY-liss') and 'Valaena', but ultimately decided on the first as I feel it meshes better with Rhaenar. Valaena will be making a return later on, though! I've got a list, hehe. We'll get through it all eventually.

Thank you so, so much for your wonderful words of praise. I'm really happy to have you on this journey with me, and it's so nice to know the research is paying off, haha! Here's to a continuation of this gross nerd-verse!

#fanfiction comments