#AND IMAGINE HOW MUCH PAIN GETO WAS TRULY IN THAT LED HIM TO MAKE THE DECISION HE MADE TO LEAVE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snow-toru · 9 months

Text

Part 2

You are done, and you know that it is time to say goodbye. Your boyfriend loves someone else, and you cannot do anything about it.

At first, you thought that after some time things would be how they used to be. By convincing yourself it's just a hard time with lots of stress, you fall into a trap. You should have known that hoping would not be enough. Not when it comes to HIM. Geto Suguru - your boyfriend’s first love and terrible trauma.

After leaving Jujutsu Tech and breaking Gojo's heart, everything changed. The atmosphere was heavy. It influenced not only Satoru, but also everyone in the school, including the teachers. You weren’t any exception. Geto was your close friend, and you supported his and Gojo’s relationship. This is why you also felt pain, then anger, and in the end, grief as if he was dead.

But now, he IS dead.

After receiving the news of what happened after the fight with Yuuta, your heart broke again, and this little despise against Geto that was flickering deep down disappeared. You and Satoru shed tears together. He, as his former lover, and you, as Suguru’s friend.

People who knew the history between the men saw only the mask that Gojo was hiding behind. He had to act tough in front of his pupils. This façade was shredding when Satoru was coming home. Again, as in a few years prior, you needed to hold him tight to your chest like a baby and help to get over the loss. But you were hopeless in this. You didn’t have the support you silently begged for.

Some people would say that it was selfish of you because Suguru was the most important person for Gojo, and it was your duty to be his pillar of strength. Of course, you didn’t tell him how you felt because you loved him too much to worry him even more. But you know what? At that time, you’d been Satoru’s significant one for over a year.

The thing with your relationship was that after helping Gojo through his breakup, the dynamic of your friendship changed. One thing led to another, and you started dating. If it had happened one or two years after Geto’s betrayal, you might have thought you were only a rebound, but it has been over eight years since then. Just after Suguru heave into sight after all this time, everything turned around.

It took only a few days to change Satoru’s mind. Although he was beside you, even when your situation seemingly looked fine, you felt left behind. He was sweet to you and behaved like always, but deep down, you knew the man you loved wasn’t your boyfriend anymore. You’ve been wondering if he was ever truly yours during these two years of the relationship.

And today, you stand in your shared bedroom screaming at each other because of the man who was dead for almost a year.

“You’re imagining things!” Satoru grits his teeth, scowling at you. He’s clearly angry, but you don’t blame him.

“Am I?! You think I don’t see how before you sleep, you watch the photos of you and Geto from high school?” Tears start to build up in your eyes and the sight gets blurry. You are surprised that they didn’t appear sooner.

“So what? Are you going to tell me it’s some kind of emotional cheating?! Like they say on those websites you read?” It was only once you read some type of the article a few weeks prior. You realize he looked through your laptop, through your search history. You’re at a loss for words.

“Baby,” this time, he starts gently and tries to hold your hand, “you know I love you, right?” The man who claims his love for you stares at you with those beautiful, crystal-blue eyes, and the words you’re about to say get stuck in your throat. However, you know you have to tell him, make him aware of the mistake of his distinction of feelings.

“Satoru,” you begin with a self-shattering heart, “you don’t love me. Not-” In the middle of a sentence, he raises his hand and interrupts you. “Of course, I do love you, baby. What are you talking about?!” His voice is sincere, and he truly really is. But you’re tired. Tired of this conversation, and the sooner you rip off the band-aid, the better.

“Let me explain,” you sigh before continuing, “you don’t love me the same way I love you. You love me as a friend, not a lover.” This time, Gojo doesn’t say anything. He looks confused and, with wide eyes, lets you speak. “You need to differentiate the feelings. I really didn’t want to believe this, and saying this is breaking my heart. But after yesterday’s sex, I am sure I was right.” Now tears are streaming down your cheeks, and Satoru cleans them with his thumbs.

“What are you saying?” The wheels are turning in his head, but he doesn’t know what you mean. “You… you moaned his name,” you whisper plaintively. “I… I didn’t-” Gojo begins, but you don’t let him finish. “I know you were thinking about him. God, I was so stupid,” you sigh and hide your face in the palms of your hands. “Baby, I am sorry. Geto didn’t cross my mind,” he tries to convince you, but there’s no point.

“Please, at least don’t lie to me at the end,” you sob, and your breathing gets heavier. “Why did you say, ‘the end’?” He really doesn’t understand, does he?

“We should break up,” you state straightforwardly, but Satoru doesn’t agree. “It’s just an argument. We’ll be fine by tomorrow, like always. Don’t leave me, please!” Gojo is stubborn, especially when another person runs away from him. You see the tears gathering in his eyes, but you know you must be strong because if you don’t end this now, you won’t have the courage to do this later. So you go on, even if you feel despicable.

“Don’t I have the right to happiness?” you ask quietly. You think of those memories you created together, but also about the current situation. “Of course you do. What are you getting at?” Satoru almost begs for any hint, because as intelligent as he is, feelings aren’t his cup of tea.

“Do you think I would be happy in a relationship where I know that my boyfriend every night watches the photos of his ex, thinks about him while we’re having sex, and speaks his name during sleep, likely dreaming about him? Do you know how painful it is? I’m very aware of your love for Suguru, but you need to move on because life goes on. This time, without me” you keep your head high, “I love you very much, but it’s not worth saving the relationship in which I would be constantly insecure,” you pant at the end of the explanation, licking the salt of the tears from your lips.

Satoru is quiet. He needs to process your words. The only thing he can do at this moment is apologize, and you know Satoru really means it, but it’s too late.

“Someone will take my stuff tomorrow. Today I’m sleeping at Shoko’s” you inform him before grabbing the bag you prepared earlier. When you’re about to leave the bedroom, Satoru grabs your hand. “Can we kiss for the last time?” he asks, and you bitterly chuckle.

“Don’t make things harder, Toru” are the last words you say before getting out.

Can you guess a song that inspired me to write this angst?

#gojo satoru x reader #angst #tw: breakup #jujutsu kaisen x reader

83 notes · View notes