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#51 SONGS I HOPE U ARE ALL PLEASED WITH YOURSELVES
raayllum · 2 years
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RAYLLUM AS TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS → in somewhat chronological relationship order
i. And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago / is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like I just wanna know you better ii. Said, "I'm fine, " but it wasn't true, I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you iii. Twenty questions, we tell the truth, you've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too iv. You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round, and he keeps the picture of you in his office downtown, and you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars vi. You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess, it’s a love story, baby just say yes vii. Like I want you, bless my soul, and I ain’t gotta tell him, I think he knows viii. But this love is brave and wild, and I never saw you coming, and I’ll be the same ix. Long live all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you x. All those times that you didn't leave, it's been occurring to me, I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life xi. I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke, and all of my heroes die all alone, help me hold on to you xii. Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother, is it enough? But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west, I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me xiii. I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending xiv. Should’ve known I’d be the first to leave, think about the place where you first saw me xv. Your heart was glass, I dropped it xvi. And they're all standing around me singing, "Happy birthday to you,” but there was one thing missing, and that was the moment I knew xvii. And it would've been sweet, if it could've been me, in my defense, I have none for digging up the grave another time, but it would've been fun if you would've been the one xviii. But if you ever think you got it wrong, I’m right there where you left me xix. And I wish I could run to you, and I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do xx. You think I'm gonna hate you now 'cause you still don't know what I never said I wish you would come back, wish I'd never hung up the phone like I did, I wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I'd live xxi. You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time but I never thought I'd live to see it break, it's getting dark and it's all too quiet and I can't trust anything now xxii. In dreams I meet you in warm conversation, we both wake in lonely beds in different cities xxiii. I'm not much for dancing but for you I did, because I love your handshake, meeting my father, I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets, how you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something there's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions xxiv. Say you’ll see me again, even if it’s just pretend, in your wildest dreams xxv. Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand, paper cut stings from our paper thin plans xxvi. You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand and I can't breathe without you, but I have to xxvii. Losing him was blue like I'd never known, missing him was dark gray all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met xxviii. There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles, same old tired, lonely place xxix. And maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway; I just wanted you to know that this is me trying xxx. Right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again xxxi. Your guard is up and I know why because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind, you gave me roses and I left them there to die xxxii. The more I think about it now, the less I know, all I know is that you drove us off the road, stay, hey, all you had to do was stay xxxiii. I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how, I've never heard silence quite this loud, now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking, and I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me? xxxiv. And if this is the long haul how'd we get here so soon? Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you? xxxv. And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends, I'd never walk Cornelia Street again xxxvi. And you know damn well for you, I would ruin myself a million little times xxxvii. And when we go crashing down, we come back every time ‘cause we never go out of style xxxviii. There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me but if it's all the same to you, it's the same to me xxxix. I wish I could fly, I'd pick you up and we'd go back in time xl. I knew you, tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy, I-I knew you leaving like a father, running like water xli. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind xlii. Hey, it's all me, in my head, I'm the one who burned us down xliii. Missing me at the golden gates they once held the keys to, when I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door xliv. And then you say I want you for worse or for better, I would wait for ever and ever, broke your heart, I'll put it back together xlv. Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons, one single thread of gold tied me to you xlvi. These hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me xlvii. My baby's fly like a jet stream, high above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new xlviii. I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this, uh huh, that's right, darling, you're the one I want xlvix. I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you l. I had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn't be for evermore li. Darling, you're my, my, my, my lover
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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years
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Ready now; Queen x reader
*Author’s note*
To the anon who requested this from way back when, I first wanna thank you for being SUPER PATIENT with me.  I was going through a lot at the time you sent the request but I am slowly but surely getting through them. Eventually once I get the chance, I may open requests back up again.
Now there’s not really any serious warnings other than swearing, fluff, and angst.  I hope you all enjoy this fic and until next time stay safe, stay healthy, stay positive.
Taglist:
@plethora-of-things
@waddles03
@psychosupernatural
@ixchel-9275
@simonedk
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels
@platawnic
@queensdivas
@geek-and-proud
@queendeakyy
@kairosfreddie
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*Oklahoma city, Oklahoma, 1976*
It was like every other Wednesday night at COWBOY’S.  The live dancing, bull riding, and of course the famed karaoke night.  I’ve been coming to this club for as long as I can remember, in fact I think I was a kid when I first came here.  It was to see my mama sing for karaoke night and of course my dad is known around here as the world champion bull rider.
He kept that title from the time he was 16 up till just before I was born.  And because of his reputation, I (and I hate to admit it) but I get special treatment every time I go to Cowboy’s.  In fact the current owner, he was my dad’s longtime friend and fellow bull riding competitor.
As I walked inside I could already see the place was packed with people.  Line dancing and really lighting up the dancefloor making this club a real Hoedown. I first went up to the bar and there running it was the owner’s son, Jensen.  He and I go way back, even though he’s like seven years older than me, he treats me like his little sis.  Always keeping the boys away.
“Well, well, well, well, well. Look who walked in. It’s the singing sensation (Y/n) (L/n). Can I just say I am a huge fan of yours!” He teased me at the end.
“Oh Jensen stop it. You know I’m not famous yet.”
“Not yet, but you will be soon.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Okay hang on, let me get your usual and then you spill your guts.” He walked away and got my usual beer and filled it almost up to the rim.  He slid it towards me and he said as he leaned up against the bar, “Alright now talk.” I took a sip of my beer before saying.
“What if no one likes my song?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Jens you know as well as I do that no one really sings original pieces here. It’s always covers of famous songs, and the last time someone did do an original he was booed off the stage.”
“First off, his song sucked and he kept screwing up on the guitar. So of course he was thrown off the stage. But you—you’ve got a serious talent in song writing. And your voice—baby girl the only other female singer I can compare you to here was your mom.”
“You really think so?”
“Coming from a Texas man forced to move here when we first met, you’re bout the only good thing in this one horse town. Hell you’re way better than just sticking right here. Especially since—well you know.”
“I know. It’s……it’s been rough. Ever since the car crash mama’s been—well not herself lately. Music is bout the only thing I can do to make her happy.”
“So you get up on that stage and knock these cow-folks right off their boots. Now go relax on the dance floor and I’ll let my old man know you’re here.”
“Thanks Jensen.” I pulled out my wallet to pay for the beer but he stopped me.
“No need, this one’s on my tab tonight. But expect to pay me back once you hit the big time.” I smiled at him and pocketed my wallet back into my jeans.
“Thanks Jensen, you’re like the brother I never had.”
“Someone’s gotta keep an eye on you yah silly little day dreamer.” He teased as he placed his cowboy hat on top of my head, teasingly rocking my head from side to side till I stuck my tongue at him and took another swig of my beer.
I then headed off to the dance floor to cool off (dancing always helped me calm down, especially when it’s with a group of people) and I danced with some of my old friends from high school, just letting my hair down as I danced the first hour of the night away before they would call up the performers for karaoke night.
*3rd Person POV*
Unbeknownst to (Y/n), it was also on that night that the most famous rock and roll band would also be there on that night to see her perform.  Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Roger Taylor, and John Deacon, otherwise known as the band Queen, had just arrived in Oklahoma city to do their two night concert they had scheduled for their “A day at the Races” tour.
To let down some steam and relax after a few days on the road, Freddie had heard about this club from a friend of his and convinced the other three to come along and check it out.  All four of them wearing cowboy hats, so that they wouldn’t stick out like sore thumbs, they entered inside and saw the whole place buzzing.
“Wow, this is even more filled than the Disco club Veronica and I met at.” Said John.
“Well Tony said this was the one place in America where you would get a traditional Southern treatment.” Said Freddie. “And I like it. It’s reputation proceeds itself.” He continued with a smile as he adjusted his hat.
“Remind me again why we had to wear these though?” Roger said.
“Don’t be such a party pooper blondie. Besides you see every man in here. Tony said that everyone in Oklahoma wears cowboy hats. Anyone who doesn’t is automatically labeled a stranger. And I don’t want no Wanted poster of me across the state for refusal to wear a cowboy hat.” Freddie said as he playfully shoved Roger.
“It’s not so bad.” Brian said as he fiddled with the string of his hat.
“You’re just saying that cause you can’t feel it on your head.” Quipped John.
“Alright, alright Deacy darling you’ve had your shot at Bri. Now I don’t want any more brawls tonight. I wanna enjoy this night, you three know how much I love to party. So don’t fuck this up for me.”
“If you wanted that Fred then you should’ve left Roger on the bus.” Brian said.
“You know what yah curly haired space poodle……”
“Gentlemen.” The four of them turned to see an old man around his mid-50’s walk up towards them.  He wore a traditional brown colored cowboy hat, his grey goatee reflected off the lights, and the spurs off his boots jingled with each step. “Now I get it we all need to let off some steam, but if you’re gonna cause any trouble I’m gonna ask you all to leave.”
“No worries my good sir. You must forgive my friend here, he didn’t quite have him fixed yet so his testosterone can run him ragged like one of your bulls.” Freddie sweet-talked the man.
“Watch it Fred!” Roger sneered as he took out a cigarette and lit it up.
“Alright. I’m trusting you to keep an eye on your friend there. I get enough drunks brawling every night here, I don’t need another damage fee added to my billing. Bobby Singer, owner of Cowboy’s.”
“Pleasure to meet you Bobby dear. I heard about this place from a friend of mine and this place does not disappoint.” Freddie praised as he and Bobby shook hands with each other.
“Thank you son. Built this place myself with my own two hands before moving the wife and son up here.”
“How long has this place been here?” asked Brian.
“Well came up here around 51, bought this property at around 53-54 and the doors finally opened by the start of the 60’s so…..about 16 years this club has been around. And she’s still going strong.”
“Impressive.” Freddie praised.
“What kind of drinks do you serve here?” asked Roger.
“Well if you mosey on down to the bar, my son Jensen will lay down everything we got. We mostly do beer but if you can take something stronger, we got that as well. Enjoy yourselves boys.” As Bobby walked away, the boys bid him farewell.
“He seemed nice.” John said.
“A friendly old man, kinda reminds me of Miami. Firm, strict, knows when you’re starting trouble Rog.”
“Watch it Fred.”
“Alright come on, I think we can all do with a drink right now.”
“Yes.”
“Or ten.” the band members walked over to the bar to see Jensen cleaning out a mug.
“Excuse me darling!” Freddie cried out to Jensen.
“Yes can I he—he-ha-ha……oh shit! You’re….you guys are Queen!”
“Yes. I take it you’re a fan of ours?” asked Brian.
“Y-Yeah.” Jensen squeaked.  He then cleared his throat before continuing, “I mean yes. When I first heard Bohemian Rhapsody for the first time, it changed my life on how I look at music. Not even some of my favorite bands can do what you guys do.”
“Well thank you darling. Bohemian Rhapsody was a masterpiece.” Freddie said.
“But a complete nightmare to make.” Roger added in.
“So what can I get for you guys?” asked Jensen.
“What all do you got?” asked John.
“Well you guys actually came on a good day. Wednesday nights are our special’s night. Every drink at half price. We’ve basically got every beer imaginable, but we also do vodka, gin and juice, margaritas. And of course we have the basic water and soda for those sensitive to the strong stuff.”
“Well then my darling, we’ll go ahead and take three of your finest beer and a vodka shot please.” Freddie said.
“Coming right up.” Jensen walked off to prep the drinks for the four young band members.
“He seems like a nice chap.” Brian said.
“He does indeed.” Agreed John.  Before another word could be said, Bobby soon came up on stage and said.
“And that was Carol Anne with ‘Sweet home Alabama’.” The crowd then cheered. “And now ladies and gents, it’s time to be graced by our very own special songbird. Please welcome our very own Southern Belle. (Y/n) (L/n)!” the crowd cheered and it was then the four English rockers soon saw a young woman coming up on stage.
She looked to be about John’s age, maybe a couple years younger.  In her hand was a 12 string acoustic, she got onto the stool and adjusted the mic.
*My POV*
God my nerves were really starting to get the best of me.  What if no one liked the song? Oh god I wish daddy could be here, he always knew just how to calm me down.  I adjusted the mic and plugged in my guitar.
“Hello everyone. I uhh—” I cleared my throat. “Tonight I’m gonna do something a little different than my last few performances. This is an original piece I’ve been working hard on. Hope you all like it.” I turned towards the ensemble band and nodded to them.  They nodded back and as I began playing the opening on my mama’s guitar, Aaron came in with the violin and Jack soon came in with the bass.  
By the chorus, Daniel came in with a soft drum beat and as I passionately sung out the chorus, I could already hear some people cheering or whistling at me.
She was driving last Friday on
Her way to Cincinnati on a
Snow white Christmas Eve Going home to see her mama and her daddy
With the baby in the backseat Fifty miles to go, and she was running low
On faith and gasoline It'd been a long hard year She had a lot on her mind,
And she didn't pay attention She was going way too fast Before she knew it she was spinning on a
Thin black sheet of glass She saw both their lives flash before her eyes She didn't even have time to cry She was so scared She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus, take the wheel Take it from my hands 'Cause I can't do this on my own I'm letting go So give me one more chance And save me from this road I'm on Jesus, take the wheel
*3rd Person POV*
Everyone was involved in hearing (y/n) sing.  Like her mama before her, the adults all whistled and cheered for the young girl for she truly did sound like her mama whenever she sang, maybe even better than her.  But the one most intrigued by her was the leading frontman of Queen.
“Just who is that talented young lady?” Freddie spoke out as (Y/n) played a small instrumental break in the first chorus.
“That there is (Y/n) (L/n). Her parents were known in this club. Her mama for her singing and her dad, God rest his soul, he was the world champion bull rider. She’s got a gift with that voice of hers.” Jensen said as he cleaned out a mug.
“She does indeed.” Freddie muttered in awe as he continued to watch (Y/n) sing the next part of the song.
There was one point of the song where she held out a note so long, it felt like she was running on endless air.  The crowd all hooted and hollered as she held that note before finishing the song.  Everyone soon cheered as loudly as they could while (Y/n) smiled under the spotlight and stood up from the stool and took a bow.
“Wow she was amazing.” Brian praised.
“I’ll say, she held that note for like 10 beats. Not even I can do that.” Roger said.
“Excuse me, Jensen.” Freddie called out.  Jensen who had just gotten done serving another round of drinks for a bachelor party, came back over and said.
“What’s up?”
“Where can we meet that talented young lady?” he asked him.  The other three band members looked at Freddie confused.
“She’ll be out back. That’s where she usually goes when things get too hectic here.”
“Thank you so much darling.” He dowsed the last of his vodka and stood up and walked out of the club with the other three members behind him.
*My POV*
After the performance I went outside to cool off. I stared up at the starry sky and whispered.
“I wish you could’ve seen it daddy. It seems I really wowed everyone tonight.”
“You did more than just that dear.” I froze and slowly turned around and—pinch me I must be dreaming.  Cause right there in front of me stood my all time favorite rock and roll band Queen.  I closed my eyes and shook my head trying to wake myself up from this dream and found that I wasn’t dreaming.
Freddie Mercury, Brian May, John Deacon and Roger Taylor were really right in front of me.
“You—you’re……”
“Yes darling we know who we are. But what I’m more interested in is who you are. How long have you had that lovely voice for?” Freddie said as he came up to me and actually wrapped an arm around me.
“Well I uhh—for a while I guess.”
“And that was an original song you sang back there?” Brian asked.
“Yeah just…..a little something I came up with. Was it bad?”
“Au contraire darling, it was unlike anything we have ever heard. And that’s saying something.” Freddie said.
“Really?”
“Absolutely. The way you managed to have utter control of your voice as you belted out certain words of the song. Only one other person has been able to do that and that’s me.” Freddie bragged.
“Umm hello what about me?” Roger piped in.
“Oh yes you and your dog whistle range. That takes skill too.” I softly chuckled.  Man this was definitely not how I pictured this night would go (well except in my dreams). “Now then (Y/n). How would you like to be an opening number for our concert?” wait what?
“What?” I asked.
“What?” I heard the other three echo back.
“You’ve got the voice, the talent, you are too good for just singing at the clubs. What better way than to finally dive in and take this opportunity.”
“Uhh Fred can we talk to you for a second?” John soon spoke up.
“Just stay tight for a moment (Y/n) dear.” Freddie said as he bopped my nose before walking back towards his bandmates.  Okay what the hell just happened?
*3rd Person POV*
Freddie and the boys walked a few feet away from (Y/n) so that she couldn’t hear them.
“Fred are you crazy right now?” Roger hissed softly.
“What?”
“We can’t just go picking up random singers off the streets and ask them to open up for us!”
“I agree with Roger. No offense, but I don’t think Reid or even our tour manager Bill will go along with this.” Brian added.
“You don’t believe she’s worth giving a shot too?” Freddie asked.
“No, no it’s not about that. She is talented, beyond talented. We just—can’t do something like this. Picking up a random teenager and ask her to leave everything behind for the rest of our tour.”
“They do have a point Freddie. Plus how do we know she even wants this? I mean maybe she just sings for fun. To be honest I never thought we were that serious till our first album went on the shelf.” Deacy said.
“Okay first off that hurts Deacy dear. How dare you think that. And number 2, I have a feeling she does want it. She may not physically show it but there’s something in her eyes that show that she wants a chance at the real spotlight. And who am I to crush a fellow singer’s dream? Especially one as beautiful and adorable as her, just look at her!” they all turned towards her. “Who knows, maybe we’ll get an additional family member in our rag-tag band.”
“Whoa wait hold on now you’re saying we need another person involved with Queen?” Roger snapped.
“I’m thinking broadly Roger dear. Don’t be so dramatic about it darling. Now then, are you three with me?” Brian, Roger and John looked at each other and Deacy was the first to speak up.
“You’ll never let it go either way. I’ll say yes.” Fred smiled before turning to Brian.
“I mean—” he sighed heavily. “Okay fine, she can come with us. But only if her parents say it’s okay.”
“Well blondie?” Fred questioned as he turned to Roger.  Roger sighed heavily and said.
“I’m already ruled-out even if I say no.” Freddie cheered and hugged his bandmates before heading back over to (Y/n) to discuss his brilliant idea.
*My POV. 1 year later*
If you had told me that on the night I would perform my first original piece live before the people at Cowboys and then told me I would soon be standing before Queen, who not only saw me sing but also offered me the chance to perform alongside them, I would’ve called you crazy and laughed in your face.
But it happened.  With Jensen’s and uncle Bobby’s approval I was able to tour the rest of the North American tour with Queen.  I’ll admit it was frightening to perform in front of my first crowd of over 12,000 people, but once I got on that stage and just sang it felt good.
We had just gotten done doing a concert at the Hammersmith Odeon.  As par-celebration we all headed to a nearby pub the guys had rented out for the night and anyone who was involved with the concert was invited to come.
By 1am everyone was either completely drunk and were passed out on the floor, or they were having sex in the bathrooms. Wanting to perk myself up, I went to the restrooms to splash some cold water on my face but before I could walk around the corner toward the sinks I heard some girls talking.
“I mean don’t get me wrong Roger is amazing especially in the sack but why would he allow someone like her on stage?”
“Yeah all those songs she sings are soooooo boring!” I peeked around to see that the girls who were talking were some of Roger’s groupies.
“Queen is just being dragged by that little bitch who can’t sing for shit.”
“All her songs about Jesus or God or whatever. She doesn’t fit with them. I think they just pitied her so she could go on stage and sing her little country songs.” It was a stab to the heart.
I raced out of the bathroom and tried to contain my tears.  But it only got worse from there.  Walking pass the men’s bathroom were a few of the roadies who were talking about me.
“She brings to band down don’t you think? I mean her songs just aren’t up to par with where Queen is at. In fact I’ve seen sales going down at our concerts because of her.”
“Dorothy should’ve just stayed in Kansas singing for pubs. She’s nowhere near concert stadium material.” At that point a few tears ran down my face.
Was I? Was I really that bad? Did the guys really pity me? Was this all a big joke to them? I ran out the back way and just ran down through the streets of London.  
Not caring where I was going, or where I’d end up. I just figured the father I ran, the farther I would be away from those people and their cruel comments.
The next morning I was at my apartment (technically it was Freddie’s old apartment that he and his ex-girlfriend Mary had) lying on the couch holding the couch pillow close to me.  The things that the groupies and even some of the roadies said last night still rang through my head like a church bell.
Maybe I should give it up. I mean after all like they said, no one really listens to me perform.  So I decided to pack up my stuff and go back to America, back to Oklahoma, maybe try to get a job at Cowboy’s or something.  As I was packing up my last bag, the door suddenly opened and I heard Roger’s voice call out.
“Oi (n/n) you here?” shit why did Freddie have to give out spare copies of the keys?
“(Y/n) you in here?” I then heard Deacy’s voice speak up.  Oh great, not one but two of the Queens are here.
“Is everything okay poppet?” Brian’s voice echoed out. Great could this day get any worse?
“Everything’s fine.” I called out to them.  I quickly came out of my room and shut the door before walking towards the living room. “Hey guys what’s up?”
“Well you disappeared from the party last night darling so we came to see just why that was?” Freddie said.
“You didn’t sneak off with anyone last night did yah?” Roger teased.
“No! I—I felt kinda tired after last night’s concert so I just took a cab home.” I gave them a white lie.
“Why didn’t you tell one of us you were leaving? You know how dangerous the streets can be at night.” Roger said as he plopped himself on the couch.
“I’m not some fragile flower Rog. I can handle myself.”
“I know you can. I just can’t help it sometimes, you’ve become like another sister to me, plus Jensen made me promise to keep an eye on you less he shoot me in the arse.” I rolled my eyes as I chuckled.
“(Y/n) dear~” Freddie sang out as he peeked from the hallway. “If you don’t have anyone here, then why is your door shut?” oh shit.  I quickly turned towards him and he just grinned as he raced towards my room.
“Fred no! Don’t!”
“Oh so there is a handsome beast you’re trying to hide from us!” I ran behind him trying to stop him from getting in my room. “Oh-ho-ho this must be serious then, he not dressed or something?”
“No Freddie there’s no guy now please don’t go in my room!”
“Technically it was my room first so I get first—” he opened the door and that’s when he saw the suitcases.  “What’s all this?”
“I didn’t want you guys to see that.”
“So what were you planning on leaving without saying goodbye!?” By now I’ve seen Fred literally explode on some major temper tantrums but this—this wasn’t anger.  This was disappointment, and when Fred lowers his voice, looks you straight in the eye almost to the point where it’s like his eyes are piercing your soul, that really tears you up.
And you never want to make Freddie Mercury disappointed in you.  Cause let me tell you, it is the worst.
“Fred—”
“No, no, no. Please I would like to know as well.” Roger’s voice soon rung out.  I groaned internally as I turned to see the remaining three band members standing right outside my door.
Roger’s eyes glaring right at me with his arms crossed over his chest.  Brian’s eyes in shock at seeing the suitcases, and Deacy—he looked like he was about to cry.
“Well!” Roger snapped impatiently.
“Hey Rog lay off on her will yah?”
“Brian are you not as upset as we are about this?!” Fred asked.  At this point the three hotheads began screaming at each other.  God this was a nightmare!  I was hoping to just leave without any drama and now I’ve done and caused it!  I held my hands to my ears and shut my eyes trying to drown out their shouting and screaming.
Next thing I know I feel a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and there stands Deacy. His eyes soft, not looking at me in anger or disappointment.  He gestured with his head to follow him and the two of us snuck out of my room.
We both sat down on the couch, him sitting close to me as his arm wrapped around me.
“Do you want some tea?” he asked me.  I shook my head no.
“Umm…..I don’t know if I’ve totally ruined this but—could I get a hug?” a soft smile spread across his face and immediately his arms wrapped around me.
“You know you will always get a hug out of me sis.”
Since Deacy and I were the youngest members of the band, we kinda clicked more than the rest.  Guess our shy natures also kinda mixed in together so we kinda had our own special psychic bond with each other.  We always knew what the other was thinking or needed, we would pull the other aside when things got too chaotic (just like now cause I never liked getting or hearing fights).
His fingers stroked through my hair as I adjusted my head so that it rested over his heart.  We sat there in comfortable silence (well besides the still arguing hotheads in my bedroom).
“I’m not good enough for you guys.” I finally confessed.
“What?”
“I—I heard some of Roger’s groupies and even some of your roadies literally talk about how I don’t fit with you guys. That I’m not even that good. Or that you guys just pitied me in order to help me get on stage.”
“I knew those tramps would be trouble.” I heard him mutter.
“But they’re right.”
“No they’re not.”
“Open your eyes Deacy!” I removed myself from his embrace. “My music and Queen’s music they just—don’t mix. I don’t do hard rock songs like you guys do. No rock fans are gonna wanna hear me sing just plain country or folk songs for 20 minutes. They’ll just be going out to get beer or go shag till you guys come up. I’m boring!”
“You’re not boring. Those arseholes are boring. If they can’t withstand a 20minute first act then they shouldn’t even be at one of ours. Because we most certainly perform longer than that.”
“Well you guys give a performance, not just a show. For me; it’s just me and my guitar. I mean yeah there’s people that may like a song or two from mine. Hell you guys allowed me to have a song on A Day at the Races and News of the World. But—in person I’m plain.”
“You’re raw.” I looked up at him confused. “I don’t mean raw in the sense of bad or disgusting. I mean you’re vulnerable. You don’t do the flashy lights, the loud hard rock of drums, or extremely, overbearing, long ass guitar solos.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “It’s just you up on that stage. Just you and your guitar.”
“And people should see you as that.” We looked up and finally ceasing their arguments, Freddie, Roger, and Brian now stood there.  Freddie came up behind me, Brian knelt down in front of me, and Roger sat to my right.
“But they don’t.” Freddie began to massage my shoulders.
“Darling when I first heard you sing back in the states, It was like anything I’ve ever heard in a female singer. You have this rawness that can make anything a song. You could write a song about taking the piss and it’d be a hit.” I rolled my eyes.
“More like a flush down the sewers.”
“Oi you need to stop with the negative thinking!” Roger playfully growled as he took my head between his hands and playfully shook it, almost as if he were trying to shake out the negative thoughts out of my head.  I couldn’t help but laugh at his antics as I tried to free myself.
“Cut it our Rog!” I laughed.  He stopped then said as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Forget about what those rotter’s said. Never, ever doubt your talent. Because you have got something that not even Queen could ever have.”
“And just what is that?” I asked doubtfully.
“Rawness. Like John said, it’s just you up on stage. Most of the rockstars like us come up glammed out to the max, prance about the stage and do the headbanging hits. You—you connect with the audience just as yourself. And if people can’t see that, then they’re fools.”
“So you guys didn’t pity me when you asked me to join you guys?”
“Absolutely not! Whoever says that you just tell me and they’ll be dropped like yesterday’s rotten tomatoes.”
“Thanks you guys. I—I really needed that.”
“Hey, you’re part of this family now. We look out for each other.” Brian said as he gently took my hands in his, his thumbs gently stroking the back of them.
“There’s just one last thing that needs to be taken care of to ensure you’re feeling your normal happy self again.” Freddie said.
Oh no. Please not that!  At this point all four of them had the look of evil on their faces.
“No. Guys don’t you dare!”
“Too late lovie, we gotta make sure you’re back to your full-fledged happy self again. And we’ve got Jensen to thank for sharing with us your deep, dark secret.” I tried to make a run for it but it was too late, Brian trapped me in his long arms and soon I was gang tickled by Queen.
A couple weeks after that, we had just gotten done playing an arena in Houston, Texas.  Wiping the sweat off of my forehead (after not only doing a few of my own songs, but also joining alongside Queen playing guitar or piano) I accidentally bumped into someone.
“Oh sorry I—wasn’t paying attention.”
“That’s quite alright. Say you’re the young woman who just performed alongside Queen correct?” this man had a strong Tennessee accent.  From underneath his cowboy hat I could see sandy blonde hair and he had the most striking blue eyes.  He looked to be about his mid-40’s.
“Yes.” I said wearily.
“Oh sorry I know this must seem a bit creepy, please allow me to introduce myself. Stan Singer.” Wait what? Oh my god!
“Wait, Stan Singer? The Stan Singer, manager of Glen Campbell?”
“The very same, you a fan of his?”
“Yeah. My—my daddy first introduced me to him when I was just 5 years old.”
“Man has good taste.” We both laughed. “How long have you been performing with Queen?”
“A year.”
“A year? Now that I don’t believe.”
“Well truthfully I’ve been performing on stage back home in Oklahoma for a few years at a bar a family friend of mine owns. Cowboy’s.”
“No kidding. I was just there last month.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Quite a shindig that place.”
“Oh yeah, it gets crazy some days. But it’s the best place to go to.”
“Listen (Y/n), While I have enjoyed managing Glen and don’t get me wrong he’s a great guy and a great singer. I’m also looking out to see if there’s a next big thing I could help mold. And seeing you up on stage, you’ve got that special little niche in the realm of country singers. How about joining me for lunch so we can discuss a contract.”
“Me? You—you want to sign me up for a record deal?” I asked ecstatically.
“You’ve got something I’ve never heard from any male artist. Here’s my card, just give me a call whenever you’re ready to talk.” He handed me a business card and said his goodbyes as he tipped his hat at me.
Wow I—I can’t believe it.  I’m actually gonna get a real shot with my own manager.  And Glen Campbell’s manager, nonetheless.  I can’t believe this is actually happening to me.
Wait….what about the guys? What would they say? Would they be mad if I took this deal? Left them when we’ve already grown so close with each other?
During our bus ride to the next city of New Orleans, I was looking at Stan’s card debating whether I should call him or not.
“What’s that?” Roger spoke up.  He soon plopped down beside me with his arm over me. “Ooh a name and phone number! Already got yourself a groupie huh?” he teased as he nudged my shoulder.
“No Roger it’s nothing like that.” I nudged him back.
“Hey did I just hear (Y/n) got someone’s name and phone number?” Deacy soon piped in peeking his head from the curtains of his bunkbed.
“(Y/n) you sly little minx.” Freddie teased.  Oh man was I really not gonna miss this.
“Alright you guys lay off of her will yah. Now just who was it that gave you their phone number (Y/n)? Will there need to be any—talks we need to do with this boy?” Brian said.
“I already told Roger Bri, it’s not like that.”
“Then what is it? I mean normally a guy wouldn’t give you his number unless he wants a date or something else.” Roger spoke. Deacy came up and slapped Roger over the head. “Ow! What was that for?”
“For being an idiot.”
“It’s a business card guys! For Stan Singer. Glen Campbell’s manager.”
“Wait I’ve heard of that guy. Yeah he’s like one of the best country singers out there.” Roger said.
“Yeah. Well Stan actually saw the show tonight and well he—he offered to be my manager. He wants to sign up a contract with me.”
“Oh my god darling yes!” Freddie cheered as he came up and embraced me tightly.
“Congratulations (Y/n).” praised Brian.
“But—” I started off.  Fred separated from me and he said.
“But what dear? You’re finally on your way! This should be a celebration!”
“But what about us? You guys? What if—what if this is the last time we’ll ever see each other?” at that point the guys grew quiet. They looked at each other and that’s when Deacy spoke up.
“The future is uncertain. Maybe someday we will meet again. But (Y/n), if you don’t take this shot now you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
“It’s like Deacy’s song says. Time to spread your wings and fly away.” Brian said as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. I looked between the four of them and they all had the same look.
Acceptance and love.
I felt my eyes watering up and I choked out.
“I’ll miss you guys.” They immediately hugged me and told me they would miss me too.  We remained in that group hug for the rest of the night till we arrived in New Orleans later the next day.
As soon as we got to the hotel, the guys sat with me as I called Stan up and told him that I would like to have lunch with him to discuss the contract.  Stan agreed to fly down to New Orleans and once that date was made, the guys brought me in one last final group hug telling me how proud they were of me, that they loved me and knew that I would become big in my own way.
On June 27th, 1977 I preformed my last concert with Queen as their opening act and the following day, I met with my new manager Stan Singer and together we went over the rules of my contract.
By the end of the 1970’s into the 1980’s my name had flown to the top of the charts in country artists.  So far in the 3 years of my growing career I had toured America twice for my 2 albums I had released under Sony records.
As I expected I was mostly popular in the southern states where country music reigned supreme on the radio.  But I did have some fans in the northern, Mid-west and western countries but I mostly toured around the South.
I was now performing back in my home state of Oklahoma to an arena of 20,000 people.  I had just gotten done preforming my biggest hit “Jesus take the wheel” and everyone went crazy for it.
“Thank you!” I turned and saw one of my roadies hand me a stool and I thanked him before setting it down right at the edge of the stage.  I adjusted the mic stand as I sat down. “This is a new song that I wanted to do especially for you my home sweet home. So you guys will be the first to hear this song coming up on my next album.” The crowd cheered. “But this song is also dedicated to four special men in my life. Without them—I wouldn’t even be up on this stage before all of you. It’s called Ready now.”
Then with just me on the guitar I began to sing my newly finished song “Ready now”.  As I sang the song, during the long instrumental breaks, I thought back to the guys.
All the fun memories I had with them while on the road with them.  Being there with them during their recordings, getting to do a song on their albums, or hanging out at the bars together after the shows.
Play video
You saw through me All this time I'd forgotten People are kind
I was hurting And you knew So you showed me What to do
You said, "I will listen Tell it all When you're finished We'll talk more"
But I didn't know how So we took it in turns And to my surprise We found my words
Feet firm on the ground We stood hand in hand The world seemed to tell me That I have a plan
Together we sang I'm ready now
Something new Something strange Ten feet taller I had changed
I believe you I'm not wrong Oh it suits me To feel strong
You said, "I will listen Tell me it all You don't like the ending Then we'll find on that's yours"
Oh, how did you know That's all we need A promise of hope Is enough to feel free
Feet firm on the ground We stood hand in hand And I told the world That I have a plan
Together we sang I'm ready now
By the end of the song, I heard the crowd cheer and as I looked up at the ceiling I did a silent thank you to the boys.  Even though we would never see each other in our career’s again, I would always keep their memories alive in my heart and mind.
Without them, I would never have been ready to even get to this point.  And I will always be grateful to Queen.
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