#10/10 he gets Hella verbally affectionate when high

[moki-dokie]

OTP Relationship Asks

from @/commander-krios

just cause i felt like answering these about jess and russ

1. Who most initiates PDA? Russ. Jess is very shy about PDA - especially Not Straight PDA. society hasn't been all that kind until very recently about that sort of thing and he doesn't like ruffling feathers or bringing attention to himself.

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to? Not sleeping specifically. Jess starts his day hella early and Russ isn't about that. he's slooooow to get up in the morning.

3. Hot and Steamy or Soft and Tender? hot and soft or steamy and tender. there is no inbetween.

4. How did they first meet? Jess was doing some shopping for his next landscape job out in the local garden center when a distracted and not looking where he's going Russ walked directly into his cart, and then proceeded to run when Jess tried to help him pick up his stuff.

5. What is their love language? Touch, big time. they're always touching even in some tiny way. for Russ, his second would be cooking.

6. When did they realize they loved each other? It only took Jess a couple of months to realize it was a lot more than infatuation, about three to admit to himself he loves him. He's too scared to actually say it out loud though. Russ was a little faster, about a month 1/2 to two months in that he told Jess he loved him.

7. Who is more sentimental? Jess, by like, a LOT. very old fashioned romantic he is.

8. What’s one way their personalities compliment one another? Jess is quiet, patient, reserved, and very modest. The less he's the center of attention, the better. He's a listener, not a talker. He's very insecure and suffers from a plethora of problems like ptsd, severe anxiety, and major body dysmorphia and is extremely hesitant in a lot of areas of life because of it. Russ is loud, blunt, shameless, and high energy. He loves being the focal point and can talk about anything for hours if he's allowed to. While he can be kind of impatient about what he wants, when it comes to someone else his patience is infinite. Having raised his four brothers in poverty and navigating the dangers of running hard drugs, he's got the skills needed to work Jess through ptsd episodes or panic attacks calmly and effectively.

9. How are their personalities different? Jess abides by societal rules of wolves more than he does humans. He was born, raised and lived relatively isolated from the majority of human activity except for their allies with the tribe. the wolf way of life is hard ingrained into him. A lot of obvious things to a human fly right over his head. Russ has only been a wolf for less than a year, and came into it traumatically. He knows nothing at all about how to be a wolf, nor does he particularly care to learn sometimes. They see the world through very different lenses and it leads to a lot of unintentional miscommunication.

10. What are some non-sexual activities they do together?  They work together pretty often, Jess teaching him lots of things about gardening. Jess likes to take him out on dates. Watching movies and chilling. Going out for joyrides on Jess's bike. walks along the beach. once summer comes around, surfing and swimming. also working on russ's car.

11. Which member is more physically affectionate? In private, Jess.

12. Which member is more verbally affectionate? Russ

13. Which member steals borrows the other ones clothing? Russ, if only because Jess is too big to use any of his lol

14. Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in? Both. Jess prefers quiet dates, but he's not all that opposed to going out to party or concerts, as long as he can stay somewhat lowkey and unnoticed.

15. Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason? Russ hardly ever thinks ahead. Jess is always thinking ahead.

16. Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed? Russ is definitely more of the night owl. Jess usually goes to bed pretty early but he can pull all-nighters pretty easily if he needs to.

17. Who fell in love first? Russ

18. What song fits them perfectly? SYML - You & I Bastille - Shut off the lights

19. How do they deal with being away from each other for a long time? They don't lol but in the beginning before they were together all the time, there was a LOT of texting and sending selfies and random pics throughout their day.

20. Who holds a grudge the longest? Neither of them really hold grudges

21. Which of the two is quick to speak and which one is quick to listen? Russ almost never shuts up, and Jess is perfectly fine just listening.

22. Who gets more easily embarrassed? Jess, absolutely. He's always embarrassed about something.

23. Who overthinks the most? Jess. He's an overthinking disaster.

24. Which of the two is the most competitive? They're both pretty competitive. Jess enjoys a challenge, Russ likes to be challenging.

25. Who’s the most stubborn? Depends on what it is. Jess probably just a little bit more though.

26. How do they comfort each other? Physical comfort is highly important to them both. However, Russ tries to be a caretaker for Jess, since he's always taking care of everyone else. Jess tries to find things to distract Russ from whatever's bothering him and redirect his attention to better, more positive things. Also very sensory-driven comforts.

27. What random everyday object/activity makes them think of each other? Jess has a jar of local honey that Russ got for him before one of their dates that he uses sparingly. Russ's couch that Jess got for him shortly after they met.

28. Do they get along with each other’s friends and family? Very well, actually. Jess's friends are just as much Russ's, and Jess has pretty much adopted Russ's brothers like his own kids.

29. What is their sex life like? Complicated. Jess has LOADS of hangups and anxieties around sex. He's been celibate for the last 30 years, so it's been a slow process getting back into sexual things. Russ is thankfully very patient and understanding, though sometimes he does get a little too excited and they go a little too far too fast. Very bumpy, but overall good.

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.) Jess is partial to the top of his head, neck/collar area, and legs. Russ likes his chest and hands.

31. What’s the relationship like? Smooth? Rocky? Bumpy. Treat each other very well, lots of love between them, both help each other heal from their various hurts, but they both suck at communication. Lots of misunderstandings.

32. How do they resolve their arguments? Talk through the issues and figure out what they got hung up on or where they failed to understand each other. Lots of apologies and making up and making genuine efforts to do better.

33. Who has the most nightmares and how do they deal with them? Jess. Russ typically tries to wake him up before they get too bad. If he's able, tries to get Jess to get back to sleep. If it's a bad one, then Russ will take the steps needed to get him to calm down and anchored. Lots of comfort and love.

34. Do they give each other nicknames? Russ calls Jess Handsome as a term of endearment. Calls him Daddy in the bedroom. Jess calls him Macushla, a kinda old fashioned Irish term like 'darling'. Baby and Good Boy in the bedroom.

35. What movies do they enjoy watching most? A little bit of everything, but they're a little more partial to comedies.

36. How’d they meet each other’s families? Russ's brothers call him pretty much every day, often facetime/videochat. After a few times of them calling while jess was around and the boys asking to talk to him, he just sort of started being part of the conversations all the time. Now he talks to them even outside of their daily brother chats. Jess doesn't have any family left.

37. What do they like the least about each other? Russ can't stand how Jess is always trying to shoulder everything by himself and blames himself for nearly everything. Jess gets irritated that Russ doesn't listen to him when it comes to very important matters, especially wolf-related, and that he hardly ever thinks before doing something.

38. What was their most memorable date? Their unofficial first date and official first date are both about equally memorable for very different reasons.

39. What other couple would your otp get along with the best? They get along with just about everyone, but frequently hang out with Ed, Cole, and Lucky and their weird, chaotic polycule.

40. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all? Russ. Jess is always staring at him and smiling like a dopey idiot when he's doing nothing particularly significant.

#my ocs

[starwhispcrs]

☺ / hyunjun and mina & sehyun

@wcvensouls // text memes !!

[ text ; the three musketeers ] have i told yall how much i love u??? [ text ; the three musketeers ] pretty sure i have but i love u 2 [ text ; the three musketeers ] i’m high asf which has like....... 71.98% to do with this but love u. and hurry up n come back to the apartment before i eat everything 2, k

#wcvensouls #➤ ʰʸᵘᶰʲᵘᶰ ᵃᶰˢʷᵉʳ ┊ ❛ i am there beyond the reach of reality ❜ #➤ ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ ᵒᶰᵉ ┊ ❛ adrift in a maddening world ❜ #10/10 he gets Hella verbally affectionate when high #nd just a little demanding #but hyunjun says its b/c he doesnt have his partners with him ok :(

[royalpainstodiefor]

Original Character ask meme - Psychology edition~

Muse: Ivan Bellemore

1: What’s your OC’s biggest insecurity and how would they react if someone pointed it out to them?

⚜️Ivan’s biggest insecurity is how he’s really alone, he feels that everyone has their own cliques and groups, and he’s just the odd ball that’s out of place, no matter how high and mighty he wants to be, the fact is still there.....what he do? He would just freeze and legit think about his life, he wouldn’t even Kill youz

2: If your OC wants to buy a firearm, what it might be for?

⚜️To Kill his enemies, however, mostly for Self protection, he prefers to cause damage Internally, less blood as possible

3: Does your OC behave differently around different people, if so with whom and how?

⚜️yes, with his own people, he’s very sweet and kind, maybe sometimes he goes into a rage, but would never lay a finger in his fingers....other people? He treats them coldly.

4: Would your OC want to involve themselves in humanitarian work ? If yes, then for what? If not, then why not?

⚜️no, not really....he hates humanity in general, they are heartless, evil creatures with many faces.

5: How would your OC generally react to someone being verbally abusive towards them for no apparent reason?

⚜️Prepare To die if your a stranger, The White king is not someone to take lightly....if your one of his people, he would try to find the reason why, but would still demand respect.

6: Does your OC have a realistic image of their own intelligence?

⚜️yes, he isn’t Cocky however, he knows he’s a clever fox, but there’s always something to learn.

7: Does your OC have any irrational phobias?

⚜️um.....no not really....I mean, maybe him loosing his power.....or him feeling helpless

8: How is/was your OC’s relationship with their parents?

⚜️he loved his parents, but they were brutally murdered infront of his very own eyes

9: Does your OC feel a pressure to achieve or are they content and calm with doing what they can at the moment?

⚜️he’s always trying to find ways how to be better, bolder, stronger, having the upper hand.

10: Does your OC guard their emotions by being tough? If not how would they?

⚜️yes, he has Very thick walls, he does not want to get hurt....not again...

11: How would your OC react to hearing they’re adopted?

⚜️he would be very shock and think things over, BUT, nothing changes, he loves his parents, those were his parents no matter what.

12: What is one of the most primary things your OC feels that is missing from their life?

⚜️a love life.....he needs a Woman to care for....he ends up meeting one (Calling for any female muses who needs a man *winks*)

13: What kind of situations does your OC avoid the most?

⚜️situations where he knows he would loose, also, a situation where would he too much of a Grey area, if that makes any sense.

14: If your OC gets into a fight with their best friend, would they wait for their friend to make up with them, or would they try to make up with their friend?

⚜️he would......talk things out.....but he like let it sit for at least a day.....so he would semi wait for his BFF to come first, but if a days past, it would probably be him, depends what it is too.

15: Does your OC consider themselves a good person?

⚜️Nope, not at all, he knows he’s a Villian....

16: Is your OC good at giving others validation of their feelings and making them feel understood?

⚜️if he cares for you, yes, it’s not a problem

17: Does your OC suffer from any mental health issues?

⚜️ nope

18: What kind of intrapersonal values does your OC have? (values about their self, what makes them feel like a valid person)

⚜️his sense of Justice, and making tough calls, some might say he’s bad for doing all those feats he did, but he knows it’s stuff that had to be done, reason why The White Kingdom is still thriving.

19: What boosts your OC’s confidence the most?

⚜️people praising him, and giving him positive feed back

20: Does your OC hurt others often unintentionally? If yes, how?

⚜️yes, he can be harsh due to his brutal honestly, he says things before he process it and realize it could be rather mean.

21: Does your OC hurt others often intentionally? If yes, how?

⚜️yes, his enemies or rivals or people who try to get in his way/has it coming for them.

22: How does your OC usually show affection? Are they openly romantic or more restricted with their affectionate emotions?

⚜️they are openly romantic, he shows what he feels, ties in with his brutal Honest I suppose.

23: Does your OC tend to hide something about their personality/essence when meeting new people? If yes, what?

⚜️yes, he’s all sweet and charming at first, until he starts to slowly show is Villianous side....if it’s someone he knows he wants as a true friend, it’s more of a “I don’t want them to know I’m horrible”.

24: How would your OC react if they got humiliated by someone in a group of people?

⚜️he would give Hella pouting sessions, he gets all cranky, ‘cute’ according to Others XD

25: How would your OC process the grief caused by the death of a loved one?

⚜️he would just collapse, he can’t stand the idea of someone he loves leaving, he has no one.

26: What is the most intense thing your OC has been battling with?

⚜️his Villianous side, it’s gotten to a point where he doesn’t want to be the bad guy anymore....so he starts to backtrack and connect with his family history, acting as if it was like some sort of reset.

27: Does your OC practise any kind of escapism? If yes, what kind?

⚜️yes, he likes to Be in his garden, and enjoy the peace and harmony. Also, Sex....especially the Kinkiness side....its an art that lets him love and creates a fantasy attraction....like eatting candy....sweet for the moment being.

28: How would your OC react if a bully stole their lunch money in high school?

⚜️oops, someone’s going to get beat up....and badly punished....he hates bullies....

29: How does your OC behave on the face of a conflict?

⚜️calm and poised.....doesn’t let it affect him or show any feedback to the situation

30: What makes your OC defensive quickest?

⚜️mentioning his lack of people that love him, the fact he’s lonely, threating his kingdom or his power.

[i stole this, oh well!!!]

Tag: @therosiesweetheart @gillmidfort @honorandagun @wearewarpriest @inherited-vanity @anditsxsorrows @dedric-vega @burmecias-protector @decapitatesmygirlfriends @lupus-solitarius @lucifcriisms @vicesandblood and anyone else that wanna do it!

#|the white king approves|

[curlicuecal]

Let’s Be Outcasts (Kankri/AR) ch 11/?

Part 2 of cyber!bunny Apocalypse ‘verse (tumblr)

ch: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

read on AO3

Summary: Divergent AU where AR and Li'l Seb get kicked into a new universe with some snazzy new cyborg bodies. They’re still working out the bugs.

In which AR discovers that kidnapping rarely solves more problems than it creates, Mituna breaks out of a lab (with some help), and Seb continues to take good care of his Bro.

Chapter Summary:  

it’s show and tell time :3

-----

Ch 11.

"This is it?"

You take extreme satisfaction from the way Kankri’s nose wrinkles.  "You know, you should try for a more encouraging tone when I'm revealing myself to you. Confused distaste really does not set the mood."

Kankri rewards you with a furrowed brow stare-down that could frost a furnace.  "I hardly think hauling me halfway through an influx zone while you wander in circles and make cryptic comments qualifies as 'revealing.'  And the innuendo is noted and not appreciated."  His expression changes slightly to superiority.  "I am starting to doubt you have anything of merit to reveal."

"Oh, burn."  You clap a hand to your heart.  "Hit a guy in his exceedingly meritous soft spots, why don't you."

He sniffs and returns his attention to the artifact before him.  You confess, the pair of concentric metal rings around a meter wide disc in the dirt are somewhat underwhelming.

"While I would, of course, hesitate to distress you by casting aspersions on your... soft spots, it appears you have led me to a nondescript hole in the ground.  Perhaps you could explain the relevance?  And why you believe this would merit an exchange of incriminating personal information on my part?”

"Well, for starters, it's not a nondescript hole in the ground.  It is a nondescript piece of machinery retracted into a steel-armored shaft and sealed into a hole in the ground.  And for seconds, I heard that use of ‘incriminating’ and I would like to take a moment to register my ‘I called it’, ‘I told you so’, and ‘you totally have interesting secrets’, redeemable later.”

“It’s Game tech,” Seb puts in, then twitches an ear.  “Kinda.”

Kankri’s eyes flick to Seb, lips pressing together over something he doesn’t want to share with the class.  Seb looks blandly back, absently tapping the little broken vacuum bot to correct its course as it starts to wander.  He’s halfway to making a pet of that thing—assuming the pair of you ever get the toolset to finish fixing what you broke.

Kankri returns his frown to you.  “Let me see if I understand this correctly.  You claim you were sent here, specifically, to this only recently documented and still mostly unknown ancient influx site, to find this specific piece of previously undiscovered outworld tech, which your ‘other’ siblings somehow knew the location of and directed you to find.”

“It was more like a mini-quest. Or a scavenger hunt.  Or a junior jumble.”

“We had clues,” says Seb, who seems to have appointed himself your translator.  This is kind of hilarious, when you think about it.

“And now that you’ve found it you intend to…?”

“Well, if it’s anything like the other ones, the control console will be tucked somewhere in the surrounding block or ten.  So, predictably, our reward for finding a thing is to have to find more things. Hands up who’s surprised at the bitter irony of the world.”

Kankri actually turns toward Seb like you are not a model of clear and direct speech.

“Now we break it,” Seb says.

“By finding the control console,” you conclude, agreeably.  See, exactly what you said.

Kankri appears to have choked on his indrawn breath.  “Excuse me?”

“It’s hella hard to break things that are currently underground and encased in steel.  We usually prefer to open them up first.  And then skip straight to breaking the remote instead.  It’s teenier.”  You tug your left glove off with your teeth, mostly managing to maintain your expression of bland innocence.

“That is not—hsssst.  Surely even you realize you can’t just go around destroying ancient artifacts.”

You look at him with genuine curiosity.  “Why not?”

“Because, because—“ Kankri’s mouth works like he can’t decide what should come out of it first.  “Do you even have a reason?”

“Sawtooth said to,” Seb says, with perfect confidence.

You shrug, crouching down beside the panel of retractable plates that seal the shaft opening.  “What the bunnybot said.  I come, I see, I wreck shit.  And I live in breathless anticipation of the day when someone bothers to explain why they want me to do things.”  You raise an eyebrow ironically at Kankri.  “Care to make my night?”

He presses his lips together, crossing his arms almost defensively across his chest.  And yet—his head tilts slightly to one side and he pins you with that pensive stare, the one full of thoughts you can’t read.  He examines you for a long moment.  You only realize you’ve paused in anticipation of the verdict when he sucks in a long breath and blows it out again.  The slightest, arch hint of an uptilt touches the corner of his mouth.  “I believe an exchange of secrets was suggested.  I don’t see any reason to change my stance on matters when you have yet to satisfy your end of the proposition.” His surety ruffles.  “–proposal.  –accord.”  It’s hard to tell under the sun-flush, but you think his cheeks might have warmed. He frowns repressively down at you.

You smirk back.  Your pulse thrums victory.  It’s the closest he’s come to a verbal agreement to terms and you’re tipsy on adrenaline, the biological high daring you to go, go, go, push the lines, break them.  “Well,” you drawl.  “I aim to satisfy.”

You’re not even sure what reaction you’re looking for—anything, possibly.  Kankri blinks and tilts his head a little more.  Unaccountably, your cheeks heat.

You decide now is an ideal moment to shift your ground and attack from another angle.

Aware of him watching, you brush dirt from the panel and address yourself crisply to Seb.  “Hey li’l bro.  I’m going to skip a step and see if I can’t wake up the system from here.  Think you can put those ears to work?”

“Mm.”  Said cybernetic bunny ears lift straight up, gone to point.  Always ready for a task.   Then he hesitates, studying you with his always unreadable face, body language gone uncertain.  “It’s okay?”

“What is?”

Seb captures the disc of the damaged vacuum bot, holding it trapped near his chest. His shades mask the flick of his eyes, but his head tilts just slightly towards the circular panel, and back to you.  “It won’t …hurt?”

You blink at the panel.  “It’s not alive, Seb.”

His ears fold flat in rapid annoyance.  Not what he meant apparently.  You bite your tongue and wait for him to find his words.  “You,” he says after a minute.  “Last time you were...”  He makes a vague, frustrated swooping gesture with one hand, the other still holding the bot by his chest.  When emotive hand movements fail to adequately capture whatever he’s trying to express, he ends with one of the General’s hand symbols.  …Not okay.

You have a brief flash to the way it felt, when you died with those assassin-bots you synced with; when you died with the headset of that human you murdered; when you woke up, blank and disoriented to find Seb waiting for you in anxious silence.   He’d taken that last bot to pieces, all around you.

Seb watches you, now posture still uncertain, expressionless face fixed on you like your answer matters to him.  You heart does a dumb organic clench-y thing.

“It won’t hurt?” he asks again, and there is absolutely no way you won’t say whatever it takes to fix that note in his voice pronto.  Hell, you’ll be whatever it takes. You wonder vaguely if this is a thing guardians do, or if you just have a lot of ground to make up.

Luckily, you are fucking aces at convincing displays of arrogance.

“Nah, kiddo, not even.  I’ve been practicing.”  You made one failed attempt and broke that little bot with your brain.  Does that count?  You’ll work with it.  You bat at his hair through his hoodie, something between a pet and an affectionate swat.  “Hey.  I’m a Strider, aren’t I?  I hella got this.”

There’s something equal parts exhilarating and terrifying in the way he takes you utterly at your word, relaxing instantly.  He nods once, ears going all perky and expectant, and flips the little hovering bot safely away into his sylladex.

“You up for this?’

“Strider,” he points out, his own tiny portrait of utterly confident arrogance, and dear god but you love this kid.

“Cool.”  You’re aware again of Kankri, hovering nearby, unwilling to interrupt, but still clearly about to explode with the desire to interrogate and/or lecture you.  Probably a combination.  Find out what you’re doing and then tell you why you’re wrong.  You fight your mouth’s desire to curl upward.  “I think you’ll be able to locate the console by sound once it engages,” you tell Seb.  “Not sure how close you’ll need to get—“

He makes a scoffing noise.  You raise an eyebrow.

Seb bounces impatiently on his toes.  “I can do it.”

“Sweet.  I, on the other hand, am completely winging this.  Fortunately I am a supremely sophisticated artificial intelligence slash almost person and I have carefully calculated the ideal balance between risk and efficiency.  I’ll try not to accidentally self-destruct the city.  Wish me luck.”

Seb offers a fist bump.

Kankri has drawn several steps closer, evidently unable to help himself any longer.  “Strider, what are you doing?”

You flash a smirk at him.  You don’t mean it to be quite so wide or grin-like, but it turns out that way anyway.  “It hardly counts as show and tell if there’s not a demonstration.  Besides,” you add off-handedly, “you keep going on about what a hurry you’re in.  Maybe this way we can get your friend’s attention.”

Kankri sucks in a breath, but, for a wonder, just re-crosses his arms and settles back to watch. His expression looks torn between disapproval, concern, and poorly suppressed, ravenous curiosity.  His red-tinted eyes are bright and concentrated on you.

You extend your ungloved palm confidently toward the flat metal surface of the circular panel.  You think you hide the moment of hesitation before your hovering hand changes tack to land lightly on the outermost concentric ring instead.  You totally know what you are doing.  This is a clever and efficient idea and will definitely not blow up in your face.

Or you suppose you should say it will blow up exactly the intended amount, since that is kind of the goal here.

Seb watches you with serene confidence.  Kankri is a silent pressure bomb that might or might not go off, also watching you.

You sprang into this whole plan somewhat on the spur of the moment, but you are at least 93.4% sure that you are making this decision based on your extensive and well-reasoned analysis.  Kankri’s appalled fascination is just a bonus.

…You are 100% certain you are stalling.  (—the last time you did this you broke that little bot; wrecked something you couldn’t fix—)  Right, enough.  Even focusing on your shittiest of motivations has got to be better than succumbing to an attack of nerves.

Before you can waste any more time running in embarrassing mental circles, you flatten your hand, press the circuits in your palm close against the metal below.  You extend that inner programming, laid into your shades, laid into wires and metal somewhere in your brain, somewhere behind your skull where that core part of you is still numbers and code struggling into the shape of a human.  You extend yourself, reach your limits.  Push farther.

Connect.

The machinery in the ground below you lights up behind your eyes in crimson red lines and then you’re unfolding rapidly outwards, racing along electric pathways, splintering your mind and becoming bigger in the process.

In one part of yourself you are aware of your organic form kneeling in the dirt, head tilted forward in concentration, Kankri and Seb watching from steps away.  The red shine of the lit rings in your shades tints your vision.

(“Are his eyes supposed to—?” Kankri starts.  “Mm,” Seb says.  “They glow.  Wait.”)

In the other part of yourself—

You have only the vaguest sense of its physical shape: tall, like the others, retracted down below the ground like an antenna at the world’s largest carwash.  The device’s programming is ancient and alien in a way that’s familiar.  Once upon a time, you think it might have been a kernel spire, but you are not the only thing changed in a new world.  You have your own suspicions about what function it might serve now, here in this place.

Sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact that your function in life might be to break the internet.

The device is largely shut down, the greater part of its programming locked behind closed points at the edge of your awareness.  You probe automatically at those dormant threads, your mind already reaching to expand your dominion, to map that tantalizing web of possibility.

You don’t need the control console, you could take the whole thing from here, push farther, figure it out, make it yours--

No.

You call yourself sharply back.  Somewhere, your fingers scrape across dirt and metal and Kankri says your name.  (Grass under your hands and an ache in your head and you pushed so hard you broke it.)  You started this with a plan, with a calculated, acceptable level of risk.  (You can see Seb, hesitating just at the edge of your vision, standing right there.)  Now is not the time to experiment. Now is not the time to indulge in thoughtlessness, now is not the time to forget that your actions have consequences.  (Now is not the time to pretend you still don’t care.)

You gather yourself and reach, instead, for the single, dim thread that links this device to something smaller and more complex.  You splinter once more, just a tiny fragment of yourself, and you send that fragment skittering down that connection with the simplest, least chancy of commands.

You turn the system on.

You stay only long enough to get a sense for what processes are initiating and in what order, for the timeline you’ve committed yourself to.  The goal here is remote console on long enough for Seb to find it and  for you to manually trigger the self-destruct functions on that end, but not so long that the entire underground antenna array completes deployment and starts... networking or whatever else it is giant mystery artifacts do.  You can’t be certain of Sawtooth’s broader motivations for destroying these, internet-related or not, but you have the idea that turning them on instead would be bad.

Digging around in the system from this end is still tempting, but not so tempting that you can quite overlook the irresponsibility of playing with the trigger of a bomb you are currently sitting on.

Which isn’t to say you couldn’t handle it if you wanted to.

But, no, right, you’re not doing that because Seb and Kankri are right there and you the master of responsibility and shit.

Time to go.  Distantly, you set a little timer running in your shades and ignore the cascade of unpleasant associations that want to trigger.  (--helplessness, isolation, an empty world falling down around you--)  Instead, you set about reeling in the pieces of your mind, struggling to assemble the fragments of yourself back into something that can fit in the limits of your flesh, into this organic vessel that still doesn’t quite feel like your own.

Disengagement comes by pieces, reluctant.  You’re aware that you’re entirely in your body a good few minutes before you can gather your thoughts enough to think anything more usefully coherent than ‘I have a heartbeat’ or ‘I am moving air with my lungs.’  You take a much longer breath than you need to, think about pressure differentials and your diaphragm and the circulation of oxygen into your bloodstream, and then you blow out the breath and blink blearily.  A flicker of red light vanishes from your vision.

Kankri hovers in arm’s reach—he’s, huh, a lot closer than before—his brows furrowed and teeth caught in his lip.  You think maybe you have some thoughts about this, but you will have them later when you are not dissociating like a motherfucker.

You have toes, but they don’t strike you as real.

“Hey,” you say, with what you assume to be your voice.

“Can you hear me now?” Kankri asks.

“No, I am just a very vivid audio-hallucination.”

He narrows his eyes at you.  “If you didn’t speak nonsense the majority of the time it would be easier to distinguish when you are delirious.  Or pan-damaged.”

“Ha.” You are a font of stunning repartee. “Got you.  With my plan. You had an emotion.”

His eyebrows arch up, then furrow down again.  “You are disoriented.  Your sibling suggested you might need a short recovery period.”

You look around, but don’t find Seb in the open, dusty space.  “Where is he?”

“He went off ahead to find your control conso—whoa.”  Hands fly out to steady you as you nearly capsize.  You drop back to one knee.

Standing.  Maybe not yet.

“Are you all right?”

You contemplate the hands bracing your shoulders—slim grey fingers, neat dark claws, subtle callouses. He has ink stains all along one side of his palm.  “…Buffering,” you say, blankly.  No, wait.  “I’m fine.  Just give me a sec.”  You are fine; you’re totally chill.  You just need to gather your thoughts.

His hands are very warm.  And distracting.

Kankri steps away so abruptly you almost fall again.  “I—please excuse me.  That was extremely discourteous of me.  I didn’t mean to—er.  Distract you.”

Annnnnd you said that last part out loud.  You blink into his not entirely sun-reddened face while a wash of adrenaline-fueled mortification scours the fog from your brain so you can really experience this moment.  Great job.  Smooth.

“Although frankly, I don’t know what else was to be expected when nobody explains to me what I am meant to do about a situation.  You’re having some kind of, of reactive episode and I don’t have the first idea how to handle your biology. —that was not an innuendo.” Kankri pauses and cracks one eye, peering down his nose.  “Are you sure you’re all right?”

You blink some more, open your mouth, stop, and then decide to never return to this topic ever again.  The last five minutes never happened.  You will fight anyone who says different.

“Which way did Seb go?” you say instead, pushing briskly to your feet and swaying only slightly.  You can’t be certain, but you are pretty sure a non-fake guardian would not misplace their tiny human nearly as often as you do.  You and Roxy—Dirk and Roxy’s ectoparents were dead and still managed to keep track of you.  Them.

Bad thoughts.  You brush dirt from your knees.

Kankri watches you narrowly.  “He left in that direction.  I believe he intended to mark the path in some way.”

“Awesome.  Let’s go.”

You set off back into the mismatched city streets, hopping a low boulevard wall to claim the broken concrete of a crumbing sidewalk, set at diagonal angles to the buildings around.  Kankri follows you without argument, apparently deep in thought.  You’re starting to dread the phenomenon.

“You never answered my question,” he says, finally.  He vaults the pole of a sideways streetlight one-handed.  You very definitely do not admire the technique.

“It seems you have a slightly optimistic view of my decipherment abilities re: whichever of your heaping pileful of questions you’re referring to.  Gonna have to add an antecedent to that, brosef.”

“Are you all right?”

“My rightness is at 100%.”  You spy a flicker of red cloth up ahead, turn to the left to find a throwing star pinning the scrap to a weirdly immaculate street sign.  The characters don’t look like anything you recognize from Earth or Alternia, but who knows?  “I am composed of purest, undiluted correctness, pressed fresh from the finest accuracy vineyards.”

Kankri’s lips press in irritation.  “Why do you insist on doing that?”

“It’s a factory setting.”

“It is no such thing.  And that’s a very de-personizing and prejudicial analogy to use.”

Pfft.  He’s all fluffed up like he’s fully prepared to take offense on your behalf, claim it for his own, and argue to the death over it.  It’s sort of flattering and insulting all at once.  (And uncomfortably warming, like hands intruding into your space.  But mostly the former.)  Your lips quirk.  “I’m using flippancy as an emotional distancing tool.  Don’t harsh my groove.”

“…I see,” Kankri says.  His narrowed eyes on you suggest he doesn’t, at all, but he intends to latch on like a bullshark and figure it out on point of principle.

Stubborn.  You tap a little tempo against your thumb, smile a bit at the fact that you can, and turn towards yet another shuriken and colorful fabric scrap down an alley to your right.  A few small white chitinous creatures have crawled up the brickwork to examine the fluttering fabric.  Rows of faceted blue eyes watch you stroll down the narrow space, followed close on your heels by an endlessly pushy troll.  Your mood from earlier has returned, energized and full of reckless possibility.  “Sure that’s the only question you want answered?”

You can actually see his pupils dilate.  His eyes are very dark.

“Got the ‘show’ part taken care of on this little white elephant secrets exchange.  Aren’t you curious about the ‘tell’?”

He hisses out a breath.  “Yes.”  And then, when you don’t immediately fill the silence: “Well?”

“I didn’t hear a question, bro.”

He glares at you for a long moment, practically bubbling with indignation.  Then he folds his arms and lifts his chin—an interesting feat for someone currently navigating a cityscape obstacle course.  “From what I can gather—not the least of which being your ignorance of the most basic cultural mores and common courtesy—it’s reasonably possible that you came through an influx site.  You’re outworld.  Old world.  Am I close?”  Each word of the question hits the air with pinpoint precision, pure challenge.

Your heart kicks up about a dozen more beats per minute.  The sensation is either awesome, or it’s going to kill you.  “That’s a thing?” you hedge, probing.  “People just.  Dropping in.”

Kankri slants a look sideways at you, along one sun-cracked cheekbone.  “…Hypothetically.  In stories.  They say that’s where the first travelers came from, generations ago.  The finned empress and the white queen and the twin empires of Ebon and Bone to settle the world.  But you won’t find many people who believe that as more than legend.  Artifacts, yes.  Structures, whole cities even.  It all came from somewhere.  Maybe many wheres.  But influx rate has been declining exponentially for sweeps and sweeps.  The vast majority of influx sites are ancient and inactive.”  

His voice has gradually acquired lecture tones, like he’s distracted himself with his own words, but his next sentence is all sharp insinuation again.  “If you leave aside legends, nothing—I beg your pardon—no one organic has been documented in an influx in recorded history.”

“But you’re a believer.”

“My custodian liked to tell me bedtime schoolfeeds.”  His voice is very dry.  “Speaking of stories—I would, of course, never wish to demean your capabilities or intentions, but I note that the ‘tell’ portion of your agreed upon disclosure appears to be singularly lacking in actual telling.”

He does have a way of using a lot of words to make his insults harder to notice.

Your heart’s beating so fast you feel almost sick with excitement.

When you don’t respond immediately, Kankri stops in the middle of the crooked, asphalt-paved alleyway.  He folds his arms, raises his chin, and faces you down directly.  “Talk, if you please.”

Well.  When he puts it that way—and talking is kind of your specialty.  You lick your lips and take back off down the alley, just to be moving.  Glancing back, you tilt him the strange, wild edge of a smirk.

What was it he said about wiggler stories?  Oh, yes:

“Once upon a multiverse, a bunch of dumb kids played a Game…”

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#cyberbunny au #kankri vantas #hal strider #ar x kankri #lil seb #ccwritings #GUESS WHAT #i upd8ed :3